1 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,360 Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress. 2 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:15,680 I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got my favorite girl 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,960 next to me. It's the Barbie. 4 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:21,120 Hi. You always fucking wave your 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,800 hands, bitch. They cannot see you. 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,680 Heart of the. Pymes, I have to wave at 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,960 everybody. You know I. 8 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,040 Doesn't sound as genuine if I don't wave when I say hi. 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:35,400 Oh my God, I've been doing these video podcast episodes. 10 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,360 I saw, I saw. And for some reason people like 11 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:40,720 it, so it's whatever makes them more. 12 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:44,160 Intimate it feels like you're on like FaceTime, like you're there 13 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:44,840 it. Does. 14 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:46,240 They probably feel like they're there with you. 15 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:47,880 Maybe. They're sitting in your lap 16 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,800 listening to you talk. Oh, they're always with me. 17 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaking of, you know, I get the nicest emails, and people have 18 00:00:55,760 --> 00:01:00,000 gone back and they've listened to our old episodes of You and 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,600 Me, and they think that we're just fucking hilarious. 20 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:06,160 And Barbie's hilarious. And I'm like, yeah, no shit. 21 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,320 You need to like, see her. Like, this is you. 22 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:12,520 And you're always funny and you're always jovial. 23 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,320 Y'all should hear me when the mics are not on. 24 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,760 Yeah, then we could have real bloopers. 25 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,560 That's what we need. Yeah, that's classified 26 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,840 information. That is a OK. 27 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,560 So Barbie, you and I did this scene together. 28 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:32,280 We did a four hour smoking session. 29 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:33,360 We did. We did do. 30 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,880 A four hour smoking session. You know, I brought it up a 31 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:42,600 couple times, but this guy, Cupcake, he is fucking on point, 32 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,560 sweet, kind, very. Attentive. 33 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:48,480 Oh, my God, he had these gift bags ready for you and I, And 34 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,320 you know, he writes me almost every day. 35 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:54,040 He is working on himself. He said to me, he's like, you 36 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,720 don't know how much of a difference you've made between 37 00:01:57,720 --> 00:01:59,800 you and Barbie in my life. How? 38 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,800 Sweet. I think he wrote me a few days 39 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:02,840 ago. I haven't opened it yet. 40 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,720 And he'll read it, yeah. He's working on his physical 41 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,240 fitness, his diet. Oh yeah. 42 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,479 Like he's losing weight. He's getting in shape. 43 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:15,440 So he goes from a cupcake to a nice like round pastry are. 44 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:16,960 You going to be a little cannoli? 45 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:27,000 A nice cannoli. Well, he looked like a. 46 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,680 Pig in the blanket during the session because for the majority 47 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:34,840 of the four hours we had him in a pig masked Saran wrapped. 48 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,520 Yeah, the pig mask came on and off but it was fun. 49 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,440 We haven't used it in a minute. It kind of gave a saw trap vibe 50 00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:46,600 to the whole Rd. Well, you know, with the green 51 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:50,320 lights we had going that day, all the smoke, fog machines. 52 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:55,360 You weren't here, but about two years ago, three years ago, we 53 00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:00,320 had Charles and the pic mask. We had another guy in the dog 54 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:05,720 mask and we were making them like fuck each other in a in a 55 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,400 way that it was like. And it sounds illegal. 56 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,880 We did have fucked up Friday. We we had them put like butt 57 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,160 plugs in their ass, each other's ass. 58 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:21,240 Out on Spotify now go watch it. That was not on Spotify. 59 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,880 No Spotify. Wouldn't let us do it. 60 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,440 You know, I also had an experience with Charles in the 61 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:29,200 pig mask. I think it was one of the first 62 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,840 times I met Charles. I hadn't really seen his face, 63 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,840 but he was tied to the Gurney in the pig mask outside, and I had 64 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:41,200 that fire baton and this guy was like, yeah, go ahead and hit 65 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,880 him. It was like, what? 66 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,040 Yeah, I just didn't ride in the nuts. 67 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,280 So I think the first time I met Charles I was whacking him in 68 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,200 the nuts with a giant fire baton while he was in a pig mask. 69 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,640 Right. Yeah, small world. 70 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,360 Yeah, right before you got up there, he had poured, you know, 71 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,080 the liquid stuff to light the fire. 72 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:04,320 And he was like, yeah, he's like, here, I'm going to do the 73 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,240 same thing. I'm like, because I got to hit 74 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,440 Charles''s test to Golson, all that good stuff in his Dick. 75 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,080 Yeah, I was. Like fuck. 76 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,080 God, do more fire in the dungeon. 77 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,079 Yeah, we don't do enough of that. 78 00:04:16,079 --> 00:04:18,959 We do not. Just fire, breathe on people. 79 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,720 And that's what you do. You fire Brie. 80 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,640 I did at the party. That was very fun. 81 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,440 What else do you do when you go to different venues, you 82 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,560 different parties and stuff? Depending on like what's going 83 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,800 on, I do like some parties I'll do like Dom services. 84 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,320 Sometimes they want like atmosphere. 85 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,960 I feel like that's kind of I get booked for that. 86 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,360 It's like you can call it gogoing or whatever. 87 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:48,000 Basically, you get to go be pretty, but you get to go walk 88 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,440 around. Like I do like like burlesque. 89 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,400 I do like fire dancing. I have like fire fans and all 90 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,760 that kind of stuff. So I'll go dance. 91 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:59,560 I'll do a little spin, you know, make a couple ones. 92 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:03,000 You know, you're so modest about the fire though, because the 93 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,880 last party we had, you and your friend went out there and you're 94 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,800 like spinning fire. You're breathing fire. 95 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,760 I'm like, what the fuck can't you do? 96 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,680 Hey, I'm a bored girl, I like to learn new things. 97 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,920 Yeah, I mean, it was real impressive. 98 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,760 Jackal Trades. Yeah, it was impressive. 99 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,800 Thank you. And everybody loved it. 100 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,520 Well, you could sing real well. I heard you had a party once 101 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,200 singing opera. I did. 102 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,800 I did. So next party, I'm just kidding. 103 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,320 Joint fire? Opera performance. 104 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,520 Well, you know what? We If we get a pianist for our 105 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,120 next party a. Penis I'm. 106 00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:41,200 Sorry. Yeah, we got plenty of penises. 107 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,880 No, If we get a pianist at the next party, I'll. 108 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,120 Sing. I'll do a little jig next to the 109 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:50,080 piano. Yeah, I'll do a little. 110 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,280 I'll bring my tap shoes. I can't tap pants. 111 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:54,800 Could you imagine? I learned for this. 112 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:59,800 Right, That'd be funny shit. But yeah, we can do that. 113 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,000 It'd be fun. Let's get back to the session 114 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,680 before they yell at us for getting off top. 115 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:06,680 Oh, I know. OK, so he comes in. 116 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:11,800 I went and I ran, wrapped them. You come in. 117 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,600 I was a little late. And well, yeah, so we're at this 118 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:20,040 situation and he brings us all these different types of 119 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,800 cigarettes. And cigars of a nice variety. 120 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,440 It was a great fucking. I've never had the little. 121 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,000 Slim minis it was, I have before. 122 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,400 Those are so cool, yeah. It was a very interesting 123 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:36,200 selection being the only two options being a variety of 124 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:40,720 Virginia Slims and then Black and Mild, just the two spectrums 125 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,440 of like cigarette consumption there. 126 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,360 You know what I want for the next session we do with him? 127 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,760 I want to get one of the long cigarette holders. 128 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:52,920 Oh. Like Carla de Ville. 129 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:58,360 Fuck yes, let's do it. That'd be badass. 130 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,040 Chopsticks. Yeah, whatever. 131 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,280 Because we got him. We got our guy Smokey. 132 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,440 I sent him a courtesy picture of you blowing. 133 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:14,120 Smokey, come see me, right? Yeah, he lives about an hour 134 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,240 away. I love smoking sessions, I 135 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,360 really do. I know, they're so much fun. 136 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,240 They really are. I mean, my thing of it is I'm a 137 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,840 little asthmatic. And you don't like the smell? 138 00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,360 I don't and I, you know, I really don't like to smoke 139 00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:33,000 because of my voice, but I love to help and do the fetish and I 140 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,520 love to do the fetish for people. 141 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,400 I love it too. It's always just so fun because 142 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:39,560 it's just, it's just a cool vibe to it. 143 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:40,120 You know what? I. 144 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:44,680 Mean And you and I are the only ones that I've ever known in all 145 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:49,760 these years to maintain the session without getting sick. 146 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,240 Really. Yes. 147 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,720 All these women that I've ever done sessions with, they've gone 148 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,640 outside, they've thrown up, they've gotten sick. 149 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:03,040 And this is just like, you know, 5050 to 120 minute sessions. 150 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,320 That's I. Guess my time and the punk rock 151 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:06,960 scene really did me well. Fuck yeah. 152 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,600 Barbie can smoke cigarettes like nobody. 153 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:18,560 So what else did we do to him? Oh gosh, we put him in the back 154 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,960 bed for a while. We poured a random candle we 155 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,320 found all over him. We did a bunch of sounding. 156 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,960 You did sounding on him for a while. 157 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,640 How is that? You know, sounding is fun. 158 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,600 It really is. I haven't really done it. 159 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:37,039 Well, we're going to do it together, you know. 160 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:41,919 Not on me. Not on you, but we have a cute 161 00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:46,480 little lesbian who got it done at the last party. 162 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,000 Yeah. Yeah, someone did a nice little 163 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:56,720 demo and did it on her and she loved it and she was so cool and 164 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,360 open about that. You know, it's rare to see the 165 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,320 girls interested in it. I know Madame Liv was saying she 166 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:07,520 I believe saw a client not too long ago where a girl was doing 167 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,200 sounding and she said she was able to like fuck it almost. 168 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:13,680 Oh yeah, yeah. I was like, I didn't believe it. 169 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:15,760 I, you know, you just don't think about that kind of stuff 170 00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:17,120 sometimes. No, I never thought about 171 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:20,720 training my urethra. What's really cool is when you 172 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:25,520 do it, you can put a massager or a vibrator on it and the 173 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,080 vibrations. But that feels really cool. 174 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,440 Oh my God, it's crazy. Yeah. 175 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,040 It's crazy intense. People love it, actually. 176 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,320 Now that I'm thinking about, I have done sounding very lightly 177 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:40,880 with the giant sewing utensil that you have done. 178 00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,640 Oh. That's right, the big spike. 179 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,240 Yeah, well, hey, whatever works, right? 180 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:48,680 Yeah, so I didn't do it with anything I should have used. 181 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:51,440 I used a giant spike. But you know, to each their own. 182 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,240 Not on me. Well, you know, what's funny is 183 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:59,920 we always use the female urethral sounds, yeah, instead 184 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:04,120 of the male, because the male urethra sounds are, like 185 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,520 straight. They're thin. 186 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,160 That doesn't seem comfy, and it doesn't. 187 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,560 But the other ones, the females, they bend a little bit. 188 00:10:11,560 --> 00:10:14,240 They're much thicker. So all the ones they sell are 189 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,960 female. Just about that, right? 190 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,600 No, they have different ones. You got to go on Amazon, put in 191 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,760 male urethral sounds and then do female and you'll see the. 192 00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:26,000 Difference. Read a cart, buy them, come 193 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,560 back. But the proper way to clean them 194 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,560 is put them in a. Pressure on them a little bit. 195 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:34,960 You got to put them in a pressure on them. 196 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:40,320 Pressure cooker and boil them. Got boil them more like a 197 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:45,200 crawfish boil. Barry, my name is Duval Blanc 198 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,160 and I saw Nudist. I love those movies. 199 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,960 Fuck. I saw a a Reddit story and they 200 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,480 do these things that are like, am I the asshole? 201 00:10:57,760 --> 00:11:01,080 And somebody will like send in like a story and then like 202 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:02,840 people will tell them if they were in the wrong or not. 203 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,800 And this, it was this story about this roommate. 204 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,880 She's like, am I an asshole for overreacting? 205 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:12,280 And apparently her roommate had been like washing her dildos and 206 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,520 the washing machine, like setting them in there like 207 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:18,040 dishes. And I guess she did it and the 208 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,880 roommate came home, opened it and found it and had a bad 209 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,240 reaction because she thought it was really fucking gross. 210 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:28,640 It's like, that's the communal dish, but. 211 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,840 You know, it's sanitized. Yeah. 212 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,320 I was like, it heats up, It heats up. 213 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,680 Exactly. I mean, it's, it's, I mean, I 214 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,920 wouldn't do it just because I don't think the soap is probably 215 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,320 good for it. I don't know. 216 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:47,640 I don't know if dish detergent what you really push it's. 217 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,600 Plastic. I bet the residue going inside 218 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,880 you, you know. Well, that's why, you know, it's 219 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,160 like when we use the dishwasher, like for my pots and pans, I 220 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:58,520 always run them through hot water. 221 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,160 Oh yeah. For a rerun song. 222 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,360 Yeah, I think, I think that's OK. 223 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:05,000 That makes sense. Yeah, Back to the session we 224 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,960 keep not talking about. Let me check. 225 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,840 I put cock rings before in the fucking dishwasher. 226 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,960 Really. Yes, so yeah. 227 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,360 And chastic cages. So I just fuck it. 228 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,320 Sometimes I just put them all in the sink and just dawn dish soap 229 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:20,400 it all and just. Little. 230 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,800 Just shake it all violently, hose it down. 231 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,560 I take it out back third in the yard. 232 00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,720 Yes. Let your dog flip fence with it. 233 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,400 I get I keep that door locked when I have that stuff out. 234 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:39,080 That is like my worst nightmare. Oh my God, could you imagine? 235 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:42,480 And they would and they would. I was, I was gardening the other 236 00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:48,160 day and I put a plant down or it fell off or whatever and before 237 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:51,680 I could pick it up, my, my Pitbull had picked it up and had 238 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:54,240 it across the yard and he was just playing with it. 239 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:58,000 I was like my potted plant back, you asshole. 240 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,000 Wow. And so I know if a dildo was 241 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,080 just out, he would it would just be gone. 242 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,920 It'd be done. It'd be they don't be like. 243 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,240 One of those Kong toys. And that already looks like a 244 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,080 butt plug. Yes, that does. 245 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,520 Yeah, You know, we had a guy who came in one day. 246 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:15,920 We've. Been stuck in his ass and he 247 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,760 asked you to take it out. No, no, he'd had it removed a 248 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:23,560 few months ago, but he had it jammed up in his ass with 249 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:26,240 fucking pool balls. In it. 250 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,760 Yes. Wait, pool balls were in the 251 00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:32,160 Kong ball? Pool balls were in his ass with 252 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,480 the Kong. With the Kong the. 253 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,520 Kong thing's already like 6 inches wide, 3 inches diameter, 254 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:40,640 yes. He had all the he had like 3 or 255 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:41,920 4 pool balls. Is that better? 256 00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,040 Than buying a dildo off Amazon. Let me tell you what's really 257 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:49,880 funny is he drove from Texas to Florida because he's a fucking 258 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:54,800 doctor. Yeah, he had to go to state. 259 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:58,000 As a professional dominatrix, just buy a dildo. 260 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,920 Yeah, it is so much less shameful than shoving random 261 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:06,000 objects inside of you. Yes, like there's not an excuse 262 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,560 if you're an adult with an income, just order a dildo. 263 00:14:09,560 --> 00:14:11,320 Walk into a sex store by a dildo. 264 00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,440 I just feel like you see so many stories specifically of guys 265 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,440 just getting the craziest shit stuck in their ass and I'm like, 266 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,560 is this better than just buying a dildo because you want 267 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,040 something in your you want Dick in your ass, go buy a Dick to 268 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,480 put in there. Like that's just how it works. 269 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,800 Yeah, exactly. Don't pussy out now. 270 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:31,960 I know. It's like those you ever hear 271 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,720 those girls that like shave down cucumbers and stuff? 272 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,120 Yeah, why not, right? I mean, I would do it. 273 00:14:38,320 --> 00:14:41,440 I mean, I don't know if I'd do it because I just try it, but 274 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:44,120 like all the time. You do it all the time. 275 00:14:44,320 --> 00:14:49,240 No, not at all. I know I don't get it. 276 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,960 And they even have those really big ones that are like a fist, 277 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:54,880 yeah, you know, like a pistol, though. 278 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,000 I'm. Sure, you could buy a rubber 279 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,760 ball, like an anal bead the size of a biller ball. 280 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,320 Oh yeah. Oh, girlfriend. 281 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,680 We had a guy who came in years ago. 282 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:11,720 Cute, cute guy. He, he had sexy ass, sexy body, 283 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,120 good looking motherfucker. And what does he do? 284 00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:21,560 He comes in and he has these ginormous fucking beads that are 285 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:25,960 the size from a golf ball up to a fucking softball. 286 00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:28,840 You know what? I had a guy send me a link to 287 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,200 something butt plugs like that, like some anal beads like that 288 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,200 and I was just like whose ass? There's guys out there who do 289 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,240 it, no. He said that to me and I was 290 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:42,680 like, out of which of us, Yeah, is taking the volleyball in the 291 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,400 ass? Yeah. 292 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:45,760 Not you, Not no. Not me. 293 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,960 Barbie's a virgin. Yeah, Yeah. 294 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:50,800 Yeah, no fucking anal beats. I have a. 295 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,640 Metal chastity belt on at all times guys. 296 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,800 Yeah, no, yeah. It's like the medieval ones. 297 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,360 And you know the way I look at it like this, right? 298 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,840 A man has 1 hole. OK, so you take and just stretch 299 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:08,640 that one hole, you're good. But if you see some women where 300 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:13,160 their vaginal opening is right next to their asshole, imagine 301 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,080 stretching those two things and it's right there. 302 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:20,560 We have that perineum I've seen that get ripped, you know? 303 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,920 Sometimes you got a short Gooch. That's it. 304 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,040 That's what fucking it's the Grundle. 305 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,720 The grundle. She calls it the fucking 306 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,680 Grundle. Grundle. 307 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,080 I love it. Yeah, it's hilarious. 308 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,560 So here we are. I'm just saying a man can 309 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:42,760 stretch his asshole all he fucking wants, but ultimately, 310 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,360 you know, it's pretty damn difficult sometimes for a woman 311 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,920 stretch a pussy and an asshole, you know? 312 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:51,880 I don't want anything in my ass. It's too many. 313 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,400 Huge. That's it. 314 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,600 You can give me a finger. That's about it. 315 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:59,720 Well, I'm a fan of a butt plug. A reasonable butt plug. 316 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:01,440 Reasonable if it's too. Small. 317 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,599 It pisses me off though. As you're saying that my dog is 318 00:17:04,599 --> 00:17:07,839 farting on my lap? Make your leg nice and warm. 319 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:11,960 It's hurt. We're having a a cold front so 320 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:13,480 that'll make the room nice and tasty. 321 00:17:14,359 --> 00:17:18,000 Thank you, Taco. Oh my God, that's awesome. 322 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,480 Should I just? Go ahead and cover my nose. 323 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:21,800 Yes, preemptively. Taco smells like a. 324 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:28,280 Bad Taco because of I'm so good at breathing out of my mouth. 325 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:32,640 This job makes you good at breathing out of your mouth. 326 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,840 Yes it does. Oh my God, you know lava ass 327 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,760 that you and I got that time. You sent me to a place when you 328 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,040 said that you see the life drain for my eye. 329 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,840 You know what I'm talking about. I've never been happier to hear 330 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:53,320 the words I fired a client than when you told me you fired him. 331 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,960 After that, I was like the heavens opened. 332 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:00,080 A ray of light shined upon me when I realized I'd never have 333 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:04,320 to see that man again. You know, he contacts me all the 334 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,040 time. He. 335 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,480 Will until the day he his heart stops. 336 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:11,600 Yeah, he comes up with a new text now number, but he puts his 337 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:15,360 name in there. So it comes up, I see the name 338 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:18,360 and automatically blocks it. But he'll write this whole 339 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,800 paragraph. He'll say, Mia, Mr. Smith, don't 340 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,400 you and Barbie want to see me again so you can stretch my my 341 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,520 whole I'm like, no goodbye block. 342 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:35,520 I'd put a shotgun in my mouth. Before I would see it, I'm 343 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,400 telling you. Like, I think it's been a while 344 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,920 since we told the story on here, probably over a year, Yeah. 345 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,600 And so I'll give you like a brief rundown. 346 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:50,200 So he's an older man, not a silver fox, not very hair 347 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,920 everywhere. You shouldn't have hair kind of 348 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:55,320 situation and. Head like a cue ball, though. 349 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:57,440 That's that's bald. That's done. 350 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:03,280 He he comes in and he wants to get like anal stretching. 351 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:10,320 So we have the speculum going and for you know, and as far as 352 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:14,960 we can tell, he starts intentionally shitting during 353 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,960 this process, which if anybody is like gone and played, you 354 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,600 know that if you're doing pegging anal play, you clean 355 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:26,000 out, you make sure you douche, you make sure you know, your 356 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,400 tummy's sorted. Because, you know, unless you're 357 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,520 into scat play, which he was not there for, because that's a 358 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,320 whole different thing we got to set up for. 359 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,680 You are just supposed to not shit yourself. 360 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,520 And it was like actually so much shit. 361 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,800 Like it was to the level where like we had to like stop what we 362 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,960 were doing and like garbage can. No, actually had to roll the 363 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,640 garbage can over. Yeah, because like we do cater 364 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,640 to like scat and piss fetishes outside. 365 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,000 Yeah, because that's where we do it. 366 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:58,080 And The thing is, if he would have been honest and said he was 367 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,000 interesting and and shitting, we could. 368 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,120 Have we could have done? It and I wouldn't have been 369 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,440 there. And we would have prepared that, 370 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:06,600 yes. And. 371 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,400 Barbie doesn't take toilet clients. 372 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,040 Yes, and I would have been prepared. 373 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,160 And he would have been prepared, But I also I think he did it on 374 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,680 purpose though, because he he's like real weird about people 375 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,800 watching him. Yes. 376 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:23,880 So I think he has like I think I think he was putting on a show. 377 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,120 He didn't know this, but halfway through I stuck a napkin to a 378 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,640 sweaty ass and it covered his asshole the whole time. 379 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,920 So he'd be shaking his ass, going like the view girls and 380 00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:37,480 whole time his ass was just covered and he didn't even know. 381 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,920 Yeah. I was like, I'm not looking into 382 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,360 you for an hour. Like literally into him. 383 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,640 Yeah, it was a lot. We had to cut it. 384 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:47,200 I think we cut a session at least 20 minutes short. 385 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,560 Oh yeah, easy. And then he also kind of mind 386 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,920 you, Mia rips this speculum out of him. 387 00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,920 She does not lower it. She was so mad at him. 388 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:02,480 And then he stands up, sees the mess he's made, and it's not a 389 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,760 easy mess to miss. Also fumigated the whole room. 390 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:11,200 It's we're all dying. He pulls up his pants without 391 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:16,080 even attempting to clean himself, and he was covered in 392 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:17,680 his own shit. Yeah. 393 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:23,360 And then he just left, yeah. And then I was like, that was, 394 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,200 that was one of the worst things I've ever experienced ever. 395 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:28,800 Ever. I literally rather deal with a 396 00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:33,560 guy that I'm I'm like scared of than like shit ever. 397 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,080 Like I I'd rather be nervous about a guy than. 398 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,040 Them shit on me if. It would have gotten on me. 399 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,760 I would have lost my mind. Yes, I'm with you. 400 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,280 I'm with you. You know, I told you, you know, 401 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,720 we did this session before we did this with this really good 402 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:55,000 looking guy. You know, just cute, Southern, 403 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,400 sexy as fuck. My kind of guy, you know, 5-9 404 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,720 adorable, but he would like to be. 405 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:04,320 Shitty of height guys. I love small short guys that I 406 00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,600 could imagine putting them in my pocket and making them, you 407 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:12,080 know, eat my pussy. See, I'm too mean. 408 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,160 I don't want to put them in my pocket and run real fast. 409 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:21,760 Make them seasick. But but he was so fucking cute 410 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:27,280 and I I just I really liked him but he went and like I said he 411 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:31,560 wanted to eat my shed and I did it and he was great. 412 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:33,320 With it, he just can't see him the same. 413 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:39,240 But you know, it was so funny. Is that afterwards, after it was 414 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:46,400 all said and done, it was kind of like he was like, it was that 415 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:49,600 that shred of like, yeah, I'm not going to do that again. 416 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,280 He's like. Got it out of a system. 417 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:52,600 Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. 418 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,720 Did he? Enjoy it. 419 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:57,640 You know he fucking enjoyed it. You know he fucking, I want to 420 00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,080 say. There is a testament to 421 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,880 Sometimes you really think you're going to like something, 422 00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:04,560 and then you. Don't. 423 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:08,160 That happened to me so tragically with anal. 424 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:13,760 I really was so convinced I was going to be an anal queen like I 425 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,880 thought I was going to love. It Yeah. 426 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,720 That first time I tried it, it was not for me. 427 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,160 I need to give it the good old college try. 428 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,120 So I got to try again sometime. But that I'll tell you that 429 00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,680 first time I went, you're gonna put a pen in that for at least a 430 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,720 year or two. You, you gotta have the right 431 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,680 person to do it as well. Yeah. 432 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,280 Yeah, that's true. You've got to have a warm up. 433 00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:36,160 I think it was because it, I think I like a butt plug because 434 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,600 it's stagnant. I think the movement might have 435 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:40,960 thrown me off, but that's why I want to try it again. 436 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:43,760 Because also the guy went kind of slow. 437 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,000 So like, I don't know, I felt like I could feel it all too 438 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,840 much. Like I felt like, yeah, like it 439 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,640 felt like I was a little too aware something was in my ass. 440 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:54,080 Yeah. I felt like if he, like, fucked 441 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:56,840 me normally, like at a normal speed, it would have kind of 442 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,920 blended in, you know? Yeah. 443 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,440 With pleasure and stuff like that. 444 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,160 I think, 'cause he was going too slow. 445 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,000 I was just like, it felt clinical. 446 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,080 I was like, OK, and that's the time. 447 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,560 Yeah. And I was like, and that's. 448 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,080 So that's the first time I did anal. 449 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,120 Guys. Just thought I would tell you 450 00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:16,880 guys, don't tell anybody. A lot of women, when they get 451 00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:19,800 pregnant, they have the desire to have anal. 452 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,800 I did have anal right after I got pregnant shut. 453 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:33,600 Up Barbie. Then there's some women. 454 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,240 There's some women who just get off to anal and not even vaginal 455 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,800 penetration. That, that is crazy. 456 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,320 You know, but it's not for everyone. 457 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:50,080 Like you said, a plug feels really nice, you know, but it. 458 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,440 Feels good for everybody involved. 459 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,240 I think so. Because the guy can feel it. 460 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:56,080 Yeah, feels. Great, especially when they 461 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,360 vibrate. Exactly. 462 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,640 I will say I'm not a fan of walking in a butt plug. 463 00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:03,360 I don't like that my ass is too fat. 464 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,800 My booty, I don't like it. That flared bass hurts my booty 465 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,880 cheeks. Yeah, I get that. 466 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:15,200 I get that. Well, you know, we go back to 467 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:17,640 our one session, the smoking session. 468 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,640 Yeah, back to the topic. That's OK. 469 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,320 They're going to ask me not to come back for another. 470 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,960 Year. No, no, it's funny. 471 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,840 They love it. But there was at one point at 472 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,360 the very beginning when we got him to sit down, once we wrapped 473 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:35,400 him up and everything, we had him put this big ass dildo in 474 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:37,680 his ass and sit down on. It Oh yeah, he did. 475 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,680 I I forgot because I did forget about the dildo and he had it in 476 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:42,480 for a long. Time. 477 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:44,280 A long time. It's because he was sitting so 478 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:45,200 politely. He. 479 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:49,680 Was, you know, and the whole time he's like, I really hope 480 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:53,080 I'm a good sub for you. I really hope that I'm doing 481 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:59,160 everything I can do for you. He was the kindest, just honest, 482 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,920 decent, sweetest person. Yeah. 483 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:05,680 It's always nice when you, like, get a client that has a deep 484 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,560 appreciation for what's going on, who's humbled. 485 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,320 Yeah. Because like, I feel like a lot 486 00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:13,320 of times, like, I mean, of course, it's a spectrum from 487 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,360 people who just, you know, like cope or hookers and then people 488 00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:20,880 like him who respect like, you know what the art, the art of it 489 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:24,560 and like the passion and like knowledge that goes into this. 490 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:27,400 I'm so like, you know, I feel like we tend to get more of the 491 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,960 middle of the road clients where they have an idea of BDSM, but 492 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,880 they don't really care about it. But they're kind of just 493 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,680 interested in getting hard and like having a fun time with the 494 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,240 dominatrix. They don't really care about it, 495 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,520 which is still fun. You guys have a good time, but 496 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,240 there is something about getting a true lifestyle or Kingster 497 00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:47,720 come to see you because that's when you really get to have more 498 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,800 fun because it's like you understand what's going on. 499 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,240 I understand what's going on. You don't have to do a lot of 500 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,280 that base level of OK, so this is the red light green light 501 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,480 system. Like this is how we do like you 502 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,960 can kind of just like almost play more freely too, because 503 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,400 it's just like a lot more trust in the dynamic because 504 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:08,360 everyone's more experienced and of course there's like more 505 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,320 respect. It's always so fun like that. 506 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,360 I just, I love seeing clients that like are kind of passionate 507 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:15,200 about their like kink and stuff like that. 508 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,600 It's, it's always great when somebody knows what they want, 509 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,880 you know, it's always my pet peeve when people come in and 510 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,440 they just like, I don't know. I don't know what I. 511 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,840 Want. Yeah, or they think they they 512 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,280 know what they want. In actuality, like you said, 513 00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,800 it's not at all what they want. Yeah, that I would say it's they 514 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,800 either say they don't know what they want or the fantasy they 515 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,560 tell you about is the most outlandish thing you've ever 516 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,920 heard in your entire life and you're like, OK, what are you 517 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:42,360 talking? About, yeah. 518 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,960 I Remember Me and Mia were sitting in your, we were sitting 519 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:51,720 in your office once and you got a call from potential client and 520 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:58,280 he's like, I want 10 girls. It's like 10 girls for what? 521 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,120 And she was like, you want 1010 Doms? 522 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,480 And then he was like, well, like, yeah, I want, I want to 523 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,600 have 10 beautiful girls. And she was like, we're not 524 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:08,960 hookers. And then he just hung up and I 525 00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,760 was like, First off, you can't afford 10 hookers either way. 526 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:14,440 No, I'm. Sorry, you're not getting 10 527 00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:16,560 hookers or 10 doms. That's too much. 528 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,440 You can't order in bulk. This is. 529 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,520 Not Sam's Club and when this is not a sex slave trade either. 530 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,480 It's like order on layaway I. Don't even like 10 people. 531 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:30,440 What? The fuck he is like I am not 532 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,720 inviting 10 people here. Yes, like you want 10 girls. 533 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,960 I'm not having ten women. And one of my friends, they were 534 00:28:36,960 --> 00:28:40,080 like, you really don't need to refer to your doms as girls. 535 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,880 And I said, well, I think of, you know, girls as we're all 536 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,360 girlfriends. What else would you say? 537 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,680 Women, you know, be very specific. 538 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:51,600 I don't split dars. Yeah, this is dumb. 539 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,600 Well, I mean. Women also for if we're being 540 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:57,320 technical there's a seniority difference so calling us girls 541 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,360 isn't disrespectful. No, I don't think it's 542 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,480 disrespectful. No, I mean I do think like I. 543 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,720 Just think there's an implication. 544 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,040 There's honorifics involved in that because like you, you know, 545 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:08,480 you are the mistress of the house. 546 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,320 You know, you're older than us. Not in a mean way. 547 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,560 It's just true. So, I mean, I don't think it's 548 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,320 wrong for you to refer to us as girls. 549 00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,720 We are your girls. Yeah, I mean, that's about maybe 550 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,720 that's just, I'm Southern and that's just what my dad calls us 551 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:20,920 his girls. Yeah. 552 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,520 Like, I mean, you know, it's always like girls. 553 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:25,080 Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. 554 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,200 Because if me and Liv are just out in the backyard lost, you 555 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,480 wouldn't you wouldn't go. Women come inside. 556 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:38,360 Come hit her. Women, my doms in the kitchen. 557 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:43,920 Women come my flock, my flock come, my Fisher of men. 558 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:49,120 Wow. So I'm going to tell you I am 559 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,800 totally off topic everything. Is. 560 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:56,840 Everything is fuck it but I I did an interview on one of the 561 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:03,680 top rated sex podcasts, The Curious Girl Diaries with Layla 562 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:06,480 London. I interviewed her. 563 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:12,600 I posted her episode last week and then she interviewed me and 564 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:18,240 just posted it Saturday. And then I did a, it's like 565 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,920 basically a 20 minute intro where I talked a little bit 566 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:26,200 about a BDSM and myself. And so she posted that and it 567 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:31,600 was basically Confessions of a Dominatrix, but she did a cool 568 00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:36,800 little title on there. But she's a cool, cool lady. 569 00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:43,800 She went in the lifestyle and she's dabbled into BDSM over the 570 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:46,480 last 10 years. She started doing the podcast 10 571 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:53,440 years ago because she abstained from sex for 3 1/2 years and 572 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,480 decided she want to start a podcast and talk about it and 573 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,560 then talk about her sex life from there from that point on. 574 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:06,120 And she she made a bucket list for all the sex and different 575 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:07,760 types of sex she wanted to participate in. 576 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,320 Oh yeah, it was great. We all have to have goals. 577 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:14,720 So exactly. So we had a great conversation. 578 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:17,760 So I'm going to tell listeners that they need to, you know, 579 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,160 tune into the Curious Girl Diaries because she's she's an 580 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,880 awesome lady. It was a cool interview, cool 581 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,800 episode. So we're going to do it again 582 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,960 next month. That's going to be some. 583 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:31,560 Fun. Yeah. 584 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,840 TuneIn for it. Yeah, you have to tune in for 585 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,400 it. But you know, Barbie, you and I 586 00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,160 have plans. We have plans coming. 587 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:41,120 Yeah, we're we're probably going to go to Walmart later, guys. 588 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,280 Big. Walmart going to be close too. 589 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:51,000 Bigger plans? But we have plans brewing, and 590 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,960 what we have evil. Plans in the works. 591 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,400 I can't see it, but I'm rubbing my hands together menacingly. 592 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:09,080 Mrs. Evil or Miss Evil? Oh, we had a little little dirty 593 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,640 Secret Santa not too long ago. Oh, we did. 594 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,120 Did y'all talk about that at all? 595 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:15,280 We have. Not. 596 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,320 I only want to talk about it because I got a cool whip. 597 00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,640 But yeah, we did like this dirty Secret Santa and I brought 598 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:28,120 something I thought was pretty a normal size object and everyone 599 00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:31,600 acted like I brought in like a mammoth sized dildo. 600 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:32,800 So. I got. 601 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,960 A little embarrassed it was 11 inches top to bottom. 602 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,960 Like whole thing that's not that big. 603 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,560 Fucking size queen there, Barbie. 604 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,720 It it was like an inch and a half diameter. 605 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,040 It's not even that bad. No, no, it was cool. 606 00:32:49,360 --> 00:32:51,760 It was, it was like a double sided glass dildo, but you don't 607 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:54,560 put the whole thing in because it's like double sided. 608 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,960 So it's like only half. So it's not that big. 609 00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,920 Yeah, I don't. Know people probably sticking 610 00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:00,680 the whole thing. Probably. 611 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:03,000 Probably. You know what I got though? 612 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,800 You got. Like a cute little gag did it. 613 00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:09,520 I got a cool gag and I got cool cuffs, but let me tell you, I 614 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:13,760 use those cuffs break. They broke on my tickle fetish 615 00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:16,360 guy. So I was like, well, fuck it, 616 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,880 you know? Men breaking our shit. 617 00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:22,360 You got to give a nice test run. It is what it is, solid. 618 00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:28,400 Almost silicone rubber like whip like the base is rubber. 619 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,440 It's it was nasty. It what? 620 00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,360 Fuck. That thing was nasty. 621 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,360 It was crazy. I couldn't believe. 622 00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:37,080 That was someone's option. Like when you like if I was 623 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:40,760 picking out a whip to bring to like a Secret Santa, like that's 624 00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:45,440 such a bold pic because it's like it's like one of those 625 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,760 whips that like, like it's like a cane. 626 00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:50,040 Yeah, it'll damage you 100. Percent like. 627 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,680 Because you know how there's some whips you can, you can hit 628 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:54,080 someone pretty hard, like a flogger. 629 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:55,680 You can hit people pretty hard way. 630 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,920 It's these are one of these whips where you're like, don't 631 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,640 don't hit, don't swing it. It'll hit itself like, Oh yeah, 632 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,600 it's one of those where you don't put nothing behind it. 633 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:06,520 I think I whacked myself with it and it it lingered for a long. 634 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,040 Time, yeah. I accidentally wrapped it up 635 00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:13,000 around my knee the other day about fell out, met Maker. 636 00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,800 Yeah, when I felt that I was like, no, no, that one I would 637 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:21,199 be nervous to bring out that one's like that's for grown men 638 00:34:21,199 --> 00:34:24,440 right there. I got to figure out how to swing 639 00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:26,320 it. It's like a weird stiffness, 640 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,760 like it doesn't quite whip like a whip because it's all the same 641 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,600 rubber, but it also doesn't swing like a flop like a paddle 642 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:35,679 or anything, so I can't really flake it. 643 00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:39,000 So I think it's like it's really works for the over the hand 644 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,679 thing, which is kind of hard to hit an ass with unless you're 645 00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:44,800 bent over, but I usually hit guys standing up. 646 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:48,040 Sometimes let me tell you we have a silicone paddle and the 647 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:52,239 dungeon and it's specifically for auto body dents. 648 00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:58,720 Like you put it to a vehicle with a dent and it will pop the 649 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,400 dent out. Have you seen the dent in the 650 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,640 front of my car from where I fell so hard hitting my car I 651 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,160 put a dent? Then no. 652 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,480 Yeah, but you could try using that. 653 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,760 I might. Cracked my head off the car. 654 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:17,240 Oh my God. Yeah, I was running in my and I 655 00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:20,680 grew I well I was outside. I can run outside. 656 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:24,040 Yes, OK. But I was dressed as an elf and 657 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,760 it's funnier. So I had elf ears on and I'm in 658 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:33,080 like giant maidens dress and I'm wearing leather boots with like 659 00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:38,360 eyelets on them and I'm running and one shoe wasn't tied and so 660 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:46,080 the eyelets hook at my ankles. So it essentially was last lasso 661 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,600 hog tied mid run. And so I'm free falling into the 662 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:54,560 hood of my car. So I put my hand up and block it 663 00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:59,600 from hitting my face on the car. So my hand like pushes into the 664 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,760 car and I so there's a dent the shape of my hand in the car. 665 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:07,480 And then I like hit and then I hit the ground just so 666 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,800 incredibly hard. Like the entire fall was so 667 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:15,600 ridiculously dramatic. Worst thing, a car full of my 668 00:36:15,600 --> 00:36:17,560 friends were in the driveway waiting for me to get my car. 669 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,360 So as I'm running to get something out of my car to get 670 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:25,960 in the car with them, they watch as I hog tie myself, crack my 671 00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:28,200 head off my car and then the ground. 672 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:34,360 And then I just lay there for a second dressed as a fucking elf. 673 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,120 Ears didn't fall off so. Damn Barbie, what the fuck? 674 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,200 I was on my way to the Renaissance Fair. 675 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:49,320 Merry fucking Christmas. And nobody got to fucking video 676 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,120 this shit. Bro there, no, I don't think it 677 00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,960 was funny looking, 'cause they all ran up the they thought I 678 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:58,280 had to go to the hospital. Oh my God, that was fine. 679 00:36:58,680 --> 00:36:59,960 They were like, do you have a concussion? 680 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:01,880 I was like, I don't, I don't think I can do that. 681 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,520 You are like a tough fucking cookie. 682 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,560 I could not imagine you and you're such. 683 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,640 A like odd person, 'cause I, I look so a certain way, yeah, but 684 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:14,640 then I, I'm such a roughhouser. Like I always have Boo boos. 685 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:17,800 Like I can barely let Mia get mad at me because I can't take 686 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,720 feet clients because I for some reason always have Boo boos. 687 00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:23,800 Yeah, like I'll be running through thorns and I'll get Boo 688 00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:25,720 boos on the top and me, I'll be like, can you see? 689 00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,480 She texted me and she was like, can you see a foot client? 690 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,560 And I said I don't. Have. 691 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,800 I had just skinned the entire top of one of my feet and I said 692 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,040 I can't. They like scabs. 693 00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,120 I'm like, yes. And I'm like, why can't you take 694 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,040 care of your body? Why? 695 00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,760 Why can't you take? Care of your body. 696 00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:51,120 I'm just, I'm a rough lady. I'm a bull in a China shop for 697 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,440 sure. Yeehaw. 698 00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:57,120 OK, Barbie. Yeah, we talked for about 3 699 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,280 hours. They're going to get a nice long 700 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,880 podcast. We didn't record all of it, but 701 00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:06,240 we got 40 minutes and I think we're we're good together. 702 00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:08,320 We cut out the Parsi all I need to hear you don't want. 703 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,240 Exactly. Fuck the best. 704 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,320 All right, so Barbie, this has been great. 705 00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,440 It's always good to have you and people always looks forward to 706 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,400 to hearing our bullshit, so it's fun. 707 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,200 Follow us on Fetlife if you want to keep up with us. 708 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:28,640 Yeah, you're the. Under score. under score Barbie. 709 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:33,840 Yeah, crazy name pull. I changed my name for a month 710 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,440 and like I suddenly got no interaction at all. 711 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:40,000 I don't know how that worked. And then the second I changed my 712 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,800 name back it like went back to normal and I was like God forbid 713 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,080 a girl have a last name. I'm telling you and you have a 714 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,680 difficult last name. People don't get it. 715 00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,120 Men are basic bitches. They're just so fucking basic. 716 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:58,520 You know, I, I just had a conversation with someone and 717 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,440 they said, you know, there's only a few things that I like in 718 00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:05,240 my life and what I like to do. Fishing, spending time with you 719 00:39:05,320 --> 00:39:07,320 and gaming. That's it. 720 00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:10,160 Yeah, that's it. Men are fucking simple. 721 00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,480 And when you come up with difficult names, they don't 722 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:14,600 fucking get. It's for the girls and the gays, 723 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,120 man. That's it. 724 00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,360 That's actually lyric to a song. I do it for the girls in the 725 00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:21,320 game. That's it. 726 00:39:21,320 --> 00:39:23,280 That's it. It's ugly. 727 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,480 The Queens and the queers, because they're loving my shit. 728 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,080 That's it. Because they're smart and 729 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:29,680 complex people. That's it. 730 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,520 But dudes, they're like, I'm half monkey, you know, they 731 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:36,840 don't fucking. They're like. 732 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,960 Barbie blonde? Yeah, I'll follow you. 733 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:43,280 Yes, yes. God, if they have to sound it 734 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:44,320 out, they're not going to follow you. 735 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,560 Yeah, because they'll say, like, which one's Barbie? 736 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,400 I'm like, you know, curvy blonde. 737 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,840 Oh yeah, the blonde one called Barbie on the ones. 738 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:56,400 Yeah, there you go. Yeah, Men are simple creatures. 739 00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:01,040 They're half monkey, half human, and they're easy. 740 00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:03,240 They're very simple. People, men are easy. 741 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:07,560 They're sluts and whores. Yes, and they're 80% of our 742 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,560 listeners, so they're smart. Oh, until then, Barbie. 743 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,840 This has been the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.