Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Mistress Mia's
Dungeon. I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia,
and this is Mistress Mia's Dungeon.
Today I'm interviewing Ellen and Clark Griswold for the second
time. This is where we left off
episode. We ended it on them actually
breaking the rules for the first time and what it was like
thereafter. And that's where we're going to
begin. I bring you Part 2 of the
Griswold. Into playtime can be fun too,
but you have to be careful. You have to tread lightly on
that with the couples, some of them.
They'll get scared. Some of them, it scares them
away and they're like, what the hell are you talking about?
But those who are receptive to it, like they've already been to
some parties that you've been to and they understand a little bit
about it. They're welcoming about you,
like bringing some of your your whips and, and spank spank toys
to start a session off. And those are fun.
Too. Yes, because Ellen, wherever we
go, has her bag. Usually do I.
Was gonna say, but you know, she's good at doming.
Yep, she you know, she dominates men and women well and she
enjoys it and do and you know, you mainly do impact.
You know, you do a lot of like sensual play but but then you do
CBT with your husband, you know, little cock ball torture a
little. Bit a little bit a little bit.
You know, having a girl, having a girl fuck me for the first
time with a strap on, that was a lot of fun.
So we've experienced that for the first time and vice versa.
Me fucking her with a strap on. Those have been some fun
experiences. Now I was going to say, wasn't
there a situation where it was the three of you like you were
you were fucking her with a strap on or or something?
Towards you, almost like. A.
Train, right? It was the other way around,
yeah. OK, what happened?
What was that? That that was just.
It was she was fucking. She was fucking Ellen with the
strap. On Yeah.
And Ellen's sucking my Dick. Oh.
OK, OK, I didn't know if you were fucking the girl.
Oh, no, no. OK, OK.
You know, So what do you all see for your future?
I mean, is there something, some fantasy you haven't really
fulfilled at this point? Well.
Having thought about that. That's up to Ellen right there.
She's the one that tells us what we're going to do, where they're
going to go. You know what we?
Go what I'm supposed to do? She's a planner, but.
She is. She's very much planned.
We haven't been to any of the big like, what's it?
Called, Yeah. We haven't been to any of those
yet and we keep saying we are. So that is on my bucket list to
to try to go and and do. That right, so that's in New
Orleans, that's. Doable.
Yeah. So, yeah, it's basically like
going to one of those. We've done everything else.
No, we haven't done double penetration but.
Oh, you're thinking about that now.
All right, people, I brought that up and she was like, I
ain't doing that. Oh, but now she just puts it out
here. I haven't done double
penetration yet. So what might be fun is for a
girl to do the double penetration with like a girl in
you. That would be fun.
Just how big I am? I crush both of you.
I don't know. Well, like maybe I get on top of
you and you're, I don't know. You get my little pecker up in
you and then, yeah, and then. Let her, let her fuck me in the
ass. That's not double penetrate.
Do you want double vaginal or do you want DP?
Oh. Yes, all the bases, whichever
one is, all the bases covered, all the holes covered, whatever
that one is. That would.
Be that's DP. That's that's DP.
OK, I didn't know he went double vaginal.
So you're sitting there talking about it.
I'm like, what is when is she talking about?
That's double. How do you say that one's double
vaginal penetration, right? Yeah, OK, so you want, so you
want just straight up one in the puss, one in the butt, mate.
This is possibly all. Right.
So the next couple we play with, I'm going to bring that up.
No, not. Necessarily, it's already it's
already on it's it's, it's, it's on the podcast.
I can find it, go back to it and go, hey, remember.
You know it's a. It's a bucket list.
You know, this might be another, this might be another option for
another episode. But I will say that I have to
agree with you. When you're talking to other
couples that are swingers and when you mention BDSM, they're
like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Some will get scared, yes.
Yeah, and that's sad. Yes, we tread lightly when we
because we are in our our feet are in both worlds, swingers and
BDS and we like there's pros and cons about both of it and it's a
fun place for us to be. I like both but when we just go
to swingers we we do tread lightly on how we bring.
It yeah. We don't even bring it up.
We don't if it's at a swinging party.
Bring it up. I'll be local.
So what? You know like what kind of do
y'all use whips or anything like that for foreplay and if they go
and. Then you look at you like, yeah,
Dick on your floor. Like what?
But those that say, Oh yeah, we've got this thing that we get
to tie her up and we do, we have a, we have a swingers couple
that also they have this cool tie up stuff in there in their
bedroom and they hide it away and.
Their kids go. Yes.
Why is there a hookup in the ceiling band and.
They have their little stash now those yes we.
Can yes now that they because they are in the BDSM too, but
it's it's few and far between the finance I've what I've been
noticing. True, it's.
So crazy. Yeah, it's so crazy.
You know, because they come to the use of vans, you know, they
come to hotel takeovers. And at a hotel takeover, they
still do like a themed BDSM room, you know, But a lot of
people do just really shy away from it.
You know, it's funny. I was talking to Barbie.
We did an episode the other day and she's like, well, you know,
it is kind of silly. You know, we kind of hit each
other with toys and, you know, it's kind of silly, you know,
But a lot of people take that shit too serious.
But they do. What's funny is that the total
100% swingers like when it's time to get down to having the
playtime with them, they just throw those clothes off and here
we go. I've noticed that but.
Then like, Oh yeah, they'll be naked and the.
Ones like the ones like me, like I've got my sexy little outfit
on and, and I, I noticed that the, the men, they, they like
that, they like the outfit. They like the attire that you
bring to the table and then you slowly take that.
They tend to like that better, so.
I was going to say one of the hottest pictures and I always
hold on to it. So if I recruit other couples to
meet you all, I always show them that one picture here in that
sexy one piece stocking, body stocking and it was awesome.
It's black and then you like you're feeding your titty
basically to the sexy hot girl that you always.
Play. Yeah, that.
Was fun and that is a sexy picture.
I show that to people. I'm like, look at my friend, is
she not the coolest? I know that picture now.
She's straddling her too, on top of her and I was like.
Damn, you got her tongue sticking out, Yeah.
Yeah, one, one couple we played with, I had all my fun BDSM
attire on and came out there and, and the girl's like, yeah,
why do you have so many clothes on?
And I'm like, they'll be coming off soon, but just for right
now. And that's, and that's the
Slinger one right there. Like, why are you wearing all
that? We're here to fuck.
Yeah, but it takes away from the lure.
Yeah. And building up, yes, let's
build up to it. Let's not just.
Yes, because your your guy love that the guy he did like that a
lot immensely like mine, the one when I was with she just like
give me a Dick. There was no foreplay or was no
nothing. She's like, give me a Dick.
Yeah, a lot of it's from the the brain stimulating the brain with
the women. You know, there was a couple
that they used to come in into the dungeon about once a month
and they would always say, hey, you know, we're going to we're
going to run an ad and they'd run it on fat life.
And they'd be like, hey, you know, gangbang, blah, blah,
blah, come fuck my wife. And, you know, he'd want to
clean her up after. OK, so that's that's their
prerogative, their choice on that, which is OK.
But what was interesting was I thought, you know, this whole
production, you would think she would want to dress up.
And in truth, you know, she would just like strip off her,
you know, shorts and AT shirt. And I was like, well, that's not
really sexy. Yeah, she's just laying there
going all right, Bring them in. Yeah, she's, she's just running
the trains, all she running. The trains, yeah.
And I just, I was like, that's, that's not sexy at all.
But then we had this other couple, you know, that John
ended up to get back to that. I'll see.
I shouldn't have said that one. I'll bring that one.
She did, yeah. She.
Wasn't just me, right? I'm pretty proud of myself.
I haven't said anything. I'm you're good you.
Are. Good damn.
So I'll cut to the Jason this one.
OK. So anyway, so this other couple
that would come to rent the dungeon, they came and she would
do a whole production. They would stand in the mud room
outside of the dungeon door. She would be blindfolded,
negligee on, you know, 90 with her, with her silk silky robe or
even a sheer robe, sexy panties. She did the whole thing, you
know, and it's like, yeah, that's that to me.
I'm like you. It's it's part of the four.
It's the allure. It's it's, it is you're building
up. And that's what that's what I
love about Ellen. She's going to build it up.
Yeah. It's not just like, it's like
she's wearing all of her stuff. And I'm going to.
You're going to get excited. Yeah.
And another fun thing about, you know, being a swinger is when
we're having sex privately in our bedroom, I'll say, oh,
that's good. Remember that for the next time
you play with another girl. I want you to do that to her.
I have to. Take notes.
Have to stop what I'm doing, get my pad and go that way.
And you know, whether you're a vanilla or a swinger, it's, it's
always good to tell your partner exactly what you want.
So not all the time, but yeah, there was a few weeks ago where
I, I told my my man, I was like, I want you to go slow.
I want you to take your time.
I want you to kiss me from head to toe and go slow with me
because we haven't done that in a while.
That's true. And, and she's right.
Because I'm a guy, because those guys are like, Nah, give it to
me. Yep.
You did good. You went slow.
I did good. I did.
Vanilla or BDSM or whatever, you are telling your partner what
you what exactly what you want. Not all the time, but.
It's good, it's a double edged sword guys, but as kinky as we
are, you better keep some of that shit to yourself that you
might want them to do because they won't do it.
What has she not done? I've asked a few things and she
won't do it, but what's that? Oh God, give me a minute, I'll
think of them. Give me a minute, I'll spit, I
mean. She does anal.
She obviously she does. A lot of anal here lately, I've
been getting kind of stunned there.
But once again, that's a double edged sword, guys.
If it's not planned and it's like, hey, we're doing it out of
the blue, it gets dirty, it gets dirty.
So all these movies back to this.
Shit again? Get back to this shit.
We didn't even get tell you about the other couple about the
the other shit story can talk about this one.
This is going to be a part too, I'm telling you.
And then I went, yes, well, I thought it was just me.
So the moral of that story is just because you're in a
swimming pool does not mean your asshole is clean.
That was the other story I wanted you all to.
Tell yeah, yeah, we had a great time with them too.
Great. They're a great.
Couple real good people and we did enjoy swimming in the pool
with them and and having some fun and then we went into the
house to have some more play time.
And me and Alan, no matter what, we're going to take a shower.
There is no ifs, ands and buts about it.
We're going to shower because. You just can't.
Make too clean. Yeah, yeah, you need to be
clean. Hygiene's a big, big, big thing,
people. Especially with your nose.
Exactly because I'm cursed because we were having fun.
And once again I'm sitting there going, what is that God damn
smell? And then we finally get through
playing and then Ellen comes up to me afterwards.
She goes, did you smell that? I did it.
I did.
It. We're even now.
Let's try it again. She's like, OK, She's like, did
you smell that, Clark? I'm like, yes.
What was that? She went.
It was her butt hole. I was like, what do you mean?
I got I was eating her out and the next thing I know I could
smell it and it was her butt hole.
That's the. Only I think that's the only
time I've had to stop eating a girl out because I just can't.
I can't do it when it smells. Like especially you can smell
it. So that was really bad.
Yeah, I don't. I don't have a good smeller.
So the moral of that story is just because you're in a
swimming pool, that does not mean you are clean.
Go into before you are playing with your your partner's.
Go in that shower and. Scrub that asshole.
That crack real good. And see, that's the thing when
we were talking about the whole concept of you coming out in
your lingerie and looking and taking that time, to me that
says that chick's got a clean vagina and a clean butt hole
because you take the time to present yourself.
Well, yes, a lot of these women, they just don't see that
concept. You know, it's just like foot
care. You know you got to take care of
your pretty face. You know you got to have nice
aspects of all your body and do self-care, especially if you're
sharing your partner and you're sharing yourself with other
people. That's right, you.
Know, yeah, hygiene, hygiene's a big, that's a big, big deal,
it's a big deal. Yeah, we've had a lot of fun
with our two years so far of playing with other couples and
they made a lot of good memories.
Some of them were no longer saying because of different
reasons. Some of them are not together
anymore. We miss it.
We miss them. But, and those are the ones that
do the that goes back to the separate room play.
You notice when the the couples are doing separate play,
something more likely is wrong with that relationship.
There's something wrong. They're not.
Not, not necessarily, but, but the.
Majority of. Your experience?
Yeah, majority of our experience though, it's happening.
Not just separate room, but they go to a different.
Yeah, they go, they go different places.
They go see different people. They're like, they're just doing
their own thing. And I'm like.
We just haven't seen good to come from it.
Yes. Nothing good is comfort.
Nothing good. It's bad.
But true, it's the actual thing. It just happens, you know?
I mean, it's the same thing, you know, when I've had swinger
couples come to see me, they'll see me together.
And sometimes they'll come by themselves, you know, and
they'll say, please don't tell my wife or please don't tell my
husband I was here. And there you go.
So there's already something wrong.
There's already something wrong. And that's also a communication.
If you don't, you don't talk about it.
It's just going to keep building up, building up, building up
till something bad is going to happen.
And we've seen it. I think, you know, when you
decide to swing, you're either going to, it's either going to
ruin the marriage because something was already broken, or
it's going to strengthen it if it's already strong.
And thank goodness we are in the ladder of that so far, yeah.
You know what I think too? I think what I've seen with you
guys. Oh God, I just had a brain fart.
Hold on. There was something I was going
to say about couples and meeting couples.
Oh, I remember what it was. So I have to go back to that
too, you know. So what I've seen with you all
in couples is when you have met couples, it has been one of
those things where it's like, hey, Ellen, you might have to
take one for the team because you know, she's really hot and
I'm going to have sex with her, but he's not so hot.
No, no, that's not true. I've I've told her I was like,
no, we don't have to. We no, I don't want her to have
to say I I took one for the team.
You're going to go fuck that thing.
No, I'm let that be known right now.
I've never in history ever said that they're making shit up.
No. No, I'm just saying it was
really a hypothetical question. We have one couple where he
wasn't very attractive and she was very attractive.
And then I said, Are you sure? And then she wound up liking
that guy so. Yes, you do.
Because he's very sweet. He's a very sweet person.
Yeah, the personality and what and.
He was submissive, you liked him, you were able to dominate.
Him. That's true.
That did change over time, but at first I was like, yeah, I
could, yeah, I can take that or leave that.
But. And I called it.
I said he's a crossdresser. And you're like, no, I'm like,
yes, he's a crossdresser. Yeah, you were.
Right. She proved it.
You were so. We have photos to prove that.
That's right. Yeah.
So just those that take their time to get to know one another
besides just one date, you know, give it just to give it a couple
of times and see they can change and it can be better.
Yeah, I I get if you like, you're at a party and you're
just like, now you're like, OK, let's just bang that couple real
quick. But if you want to get like make
good friends, like, and most of them are good friends, you will
make good friends in this. You will.
Yeah, you. Can you can.
Being able to talk about anything sexually that I want to
talk about within this community, that's I love that
compared to I have to keep quiet with my vanilla friends, but
with this community, I can just say whatever the hell I want to.
You know, and that's the sad part.
I mean, Clark has been in the military.
He he went to visit prostitutes in Amsterdam.
Yep. You know, you've toured
everywhere, you know, you had a great time.
You know, military guys, they've seen so much, experience so
much, and it's not taboo, you know, whereas here we are in the
South and poor Ellen growing up in this Christian hardcore.
Life Bible Bible thumping area. Bible thumping, you know, And
it's like you couldn't even talk about sex with your friends.
And I mean just traditional sex. And that's just a sad thing.
Yeah. And the other night I heard I
had some friends were talking with each other with me around
and that couple said the guy said we don't have sex enough.
And she said we have sex once a month.
That's good. Oh yeah, Oh my God.
I. Feel so sorry for I feel sorry
for them because you should be having sex a lot more than once
a month. Yeah, you should if you're if
you're having and we have friends that are like that where
they don't hardly have sex anymore and I'm like, what is
going on? Yeah, you got fixed that.
Are you taking them hormones? You get something hormones in
you buddy. You know what I've noticed too,
is that you won't. You've lost friends.
Yes, we have. You know, it's like they figure
it out at some point or they figure out that, you know,
you've changed, you know, because you got into the swinger
community, you lost weight, you look happy.
I mean, you looked, you know, just really being yourselves.
So it was like a huge 180, you know?
We learned to we, we learned it's black and white.
We we, we don't, we don't go, we don't talk about the sexual
stuff with our vanilla friends and.
You have to keep that separate. You cannot it.
Freaks them out. Yeah, you cannot.
They can't. They can't handle.
It they can't handle it. Because they're like, you're
going to get a divorce. Oh my God, you're getting a
divorce. It's going to happen.
Like, no, no, I don't. I don't think we are, you know,
And they just, they will totally flip out, like I said.
And I've lost a really good friend because of it.
It is very crazy. The hard way about that
situation, we don't, we don't blend fun time with a vanilla.
Yeah, that's another thing. If you're if you're with a
swinger couple, you cannot mix swinging and vanilla in the same
thing. You cannot do it.
We could, We could. It did not work well for us.
It ended bad. We lost friends there.
I mean, it's either you hang out with swinger friends or hang out
with vanilla friends. You can't mix the both together.
You can't go, hey, I got some vanilla friends, they're going
to be here, we're going to hang out.
It's going to end bad. Yeah, so sad.
Yeah, but you live when you learn.
Yeah, don't you? I know.
That was that was my fault. That wasn't my fault, baby, that
was I'll. Take the blame that I was high
and started kissing on that guy and the the.
With the children there and everything and.
The teenage daughter, Saul, was like, what's going on, mom?
No, it wasn't that. It was the other one like, hey,
I know you guys are into this, but is that OK?
And I look over, I'm like, Nope, that's fucking not OK.
Did not mean to cause that trouble.
Hey, pothead, come here. But it went both ways.
Because he he should have known to.
Yeah, but he was. No, hey, they were under the
influence, but he wasn't under. The influence he.
He knew better. He wants that.
He wanted that. The affection part, that's what
he wanted and that's what Ellen gave him was affection.
He didn't get it from his from his spouse.
And what was interesting is the reason why they probably
connected as well as they did is they were both looking for
dominant people. Yep.
So they were both submissive people.
They didn't want to tell people that they were submissive, but
she was looking for a Dom male and he wanted a Dom female to
dress him up. Yep, and that is why they had a
failed relationship. Yep, and they are separated.
And it was doomed. It was doomed from the
beginning. And it wasn't your fault, Alan,
by any means. It was the fact, again, you
know, feelings run high, sexual feelings run high with people
that you're attracted to. And you're in that, that
environment, you know. Yeah, one of the fun dates we
had with that couple is I went to a I went to a Journey concert
with with that guy and my husband went to a bar.
With Speakeasy. Yeah, it was Speakeasy with his
wife, so we got to have a fun date, you know that.
And that's our father's that We've gone as far as doing any
that wasn't sexual, though, but we, we.
No. Yeah.
Together. We met up at the bar and then we
all went back to the hotel and actually got a noise complaint.
We did that. That we legit noise complaint
you. Were fucking that hard?
Yeah, Oh my God. That was the funnest night with
that couple. That was that was one of the
best nights because I went down to do something.
They're like, are you ever going four or three O 4?
Yeah, we had a noise complaint on Y'all Like my bag.
Sorry. That was a really fun night.
That was a night you peed on his leg.
Yeah, I thought. I had a lot of I had a lot of
Scotch that night. He loved it though he.
Did It was hilarious. He's like Ellen peeing on me.
And she's like, no, I'm not just getting one in the lab.
He's like, no, you're really peeing on me.
And cross dresser. Dessert.
He's just pissed all down his leg.
They were in the wet spot anyway, it didn't matter.
Wow. Yeah, for real.
Yeah, come in his pants. No, no, his his wife.
She's a squirter. So that begs off, Yeah.
Yeah, that's how. There you go.
So my little Yeah. Anyway, that was a very fun
night. And that that's an example of.
That was a fun night have. Some fun with your with a couple
that you're. We didn't play separate.
What we did was is we we went on two different dates.
She got to go. I can't handle large crowds
because my PTSD. She wants to go to concert.
So the the bar we went to was not that many people in it was a
little Speakeasy. It's real nice.
So she got to go watch a concert.
I got to have a couple of drinks, just bullshit.
And then we all got back together and we Diddy mouse to
the hotel. It was a good one.
Yeah, so good. Memories.
Good memories. And those are fun things to do
if you're going to be the partner, the other person, they
can't loosen up. Switch partners.
When you're at wherever y'all are at, just switch.
Go, OK, you're going to come with me, I'm going to go with
you and walk around. Do that.
Now, I know that a lot of the swingers, they do like a meet
and greet. And I haven't told you all this.
There is a bar that's out of a hotel downtown, and they meet,
Yeah, it's at a day's end on Cervantes.
They meet there. The days on Cervantes, yes.
They meet there at the bar. A lot of swingers do on certain
nights of the week. But I gotta quote, how do you
know that they're I mean, is the one person wearing like the?
It is posted. I'm going to find the posting
that I found because I was like, oh, I remember this.
I, you know, just came across the other day.
I was thinking about it, but I was thinking, you know, we, we
have attended Munches together, the three of us for the BDSM.
Yeah. And what has been our position
on that? So you've gone to the Munches.
Have you met people at the Munches?
We've met people, but we've. Oh, no, we met one couple at one
of the munches that you did do, the one that you did, the
restaurant, the Oh yeah, yeah, that was that was the cowboy.
Yeah, OK. That's the only time we've ever
met a couple out of much. Oh, yes, yes.
Yeah, we met Cowboys and she loves her cowboy.
That's her favorite ones. Cowboy.
Yeah, yeah, cow. And we're talking about cowboy.
And when I tell you he's a cowboy, people, he had a Stetson
hat, big ass belt buckle and huge boots.
He's a cowboy. He is from.
Texas, Right A. Cowboy, she rode the shit out of
him. Well, actually he rode you like
6 seconds. He was done.
That's true. That was the funniest thing.
Like alright so he Ellen got on top of him and he just grabbed
her like a jackrabbit, took off and then within like radio like
2 minutes he had his orgasm and then Ellen looked down and goes
well good for you it was. Like their first time.
No, they've done it before. It was just he was super
excited. He was super, super excited.
It's. Their first time playing No.
No, they've done, they've had a three-way, remember they had a
three-way. So he's done it before and.
It's it's a big deal if if you and I or somebody are a are a
first for a couple, that's that's a big deal.
It's important to us. It's like.
Yeah, cuz I mean, we don't. Take that lightly because we
remember our first experience. Yeah, but meeting people at the
munches, unless you're going to like a swingers munch, you could
probably meet people, but we've gone mostly BDSM ours.
We meet people through SDC, SLS, pet life.
You met people in pet life. And your friend, your your
swingers friends, they might ask ask them to invite you if they
have a get. Together.
Yeah, there's a get together. You go to the get togethers.
SLS, I mean sometimes they, they update their programming and
that kind of stuff. But is STC, is it easier?
Is there more people? On there, STC's more people.
It is OK. STC's more people.
Yeah, we we took a break from both of them right now because
you'll get people that'll want to meet, but then they'll never
get back to you. Yes, that is those of you that
are trying to start the swingers lifestyle that is a normal for
them for the couple to start. Strike up a conversation with
you and then it goes nowhere. Don't.
That happens a lot. Don't get butt hurt.
That's pretty normal. Yeah, Yeah.
I've noticed, you know, when you look at, because I advertise on
SLS for the parties, that kind of thing.
But I've noticed that on SLS, I've looked at different
profiles. There's always people on there.
It's like they only want to show pictures of the wife, you know,
or they'll say on their profile, you know, this is what we do,
this is how it is, you know, you know, leave it at that.
You know, they're very strict on the rules or they're not, you
know. Yeah, and if there's a couple
that reaches out to you on SLS or STC, it's a couple picture
and the guy is talking to you and, and he says Oh well, my, my
wife cannot make it, but I can. But I.
Can. Oh yeah, that happens.
A that is a that is a single. That's a single guy.
Oh yes. We've had that's had like three
or four times. Yeah.
Like. Crazy and like we'll get a date
to show we're going to meet and everything and then all of a
sudden he'll oh by the way, my wife can't make it, but I can
still come and we all have a good time and we're like and
fuck off. Wow, that's so crazy.
Well, yeah, scammer. A scammer.
Scammer is a scammer. It's that.
Yeah. I'm glad you remember.
That another thing we've noticed with swingers is when you go to
parties, don't again again don't get butt hurt if you try are
trying to meet swinger couples because they're.
Cliquish. Yeah, they're cliquish.
Like if they don't want to talk, they don't want to talk to you
at a party. A lot of these couples will go
ahead and have another couple to go with them so they don't feel
left out. And it's not necessarily that
you've done anything wrong, they just they've already got their
little. They've got their core group.
Yeah, they got their core group established, so don't let that.
You got it. You got to try to get in the
group, but you can't even really get in to talk to him.
It's like they're celebrities, you know?
That's how it is. It's like we've done many of
them like that. I'm like, well fuck you.
Yeah, I've noticed like I'll go on there and they're like, Oh
yeah, we're on the boat. We're on Crab Island or we're
here we're and it's like what, You know, it's like, I hate to
break it to them, but not everybody has a boat and not
everybody wants to go out to Crab Island.
You know, it's like to me, they're kind of narrowing down
their their their dating pool there.
You. Know it's hard.
It's it's not easy to get a couple to talk to you get a date
and time set and actually get together.
But if you get, if you can get to those, if you can get through
those steps, you got a good chance.
You get that first date, you got a good chance.
It's going to work out. It's not.
It's not easy peasy. OK, so two things I want to
bring up. So it's really interesting that
you talk about the whole single man being a scammer.
Yeah. Oh, and they're good.
But you know, what's interesting though, is it's sad because
there's good single guys out there, you know, but they, they
get overcharged at parties. You know, they'll definitely
overcharge them if they're single, they're coming stag or
if they're just coming to stag in general.
But their regular, their regular swinger, you know, they can't go
on boat cruises, they can't do a lot of things.
And it's kind of sad because you know, it's like if your
partner's, you know, you know, breaks up with you, for example,
you're kind of fucked in a sense.
So the other thing I was going to bring up was, wow, see, I'm
doing it. I'm thinking, what was it?
Because you'd said something about meeting somebody and just
like the three steps of like. Getting it's not.
It's not easy. It's hard.
I remember what it was. You all like The Golden Girls
porn? Yes, and then love The Golden
Girls porn. Yeah.
When you not quite your Golden Girls, that's what it's called.
OK, what was the funniest part about that was when you all said
that you met these people and they were older, but you've met
couples who have been older and you're cool with that.
They're over 50, right? Plus, but they don't tell you
that their guy is impotent. Oh yeah, yeah.
That fucking happens You. All, all the time.
Well, and this I think what is the age group that we we're over
50 all right, we're over 50. So our the the pool that we get
to pull from is the guys are 55566062 and for for the girls,
like I could, I could tell them all the time.
It's easier for y'all. Y'all gotta either put a little
oil down there and here you go. But us we gotta fucking.
We know people that do the shots.
Yeah, they do. To try and the Dick you got
some. Stories on that.
That one too. And like, so we got to perform
and it's it's hard for us sometimes because when we can't
perform, what once we start, once we get something in our
head and we can't get it out. Well, your Dick is done, guys
and everybody, every older guy knows that you're like, oh, fuck
is down and you try to get it back up.
Sometimes it'll come back up and it won't.
It's just it's but yeah, we've, we've met a lot of couples like
that. We're starting out, he's good.
And then for about 5 minutes and then and then he's down and I'm
like on the inside, I'm giggling.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm like my ass off.
I am. But I'm like, oh, I'm sorry
sweetie. Mine worked just fine, thank.
You. I love it when you told me you
went to go meet these people at their house and they were the
older couple and. Our golden girl.
Your golden girl and Clark was like, yeah, she baked us cookies
and made us lunch. She sure.
Did that was. Great.
Oh my God, I was like, I'm going to bang my grandma.
Now her, her guy, his Dick worked.
Yeah, but what did you? Do soft swat with them.
What did you do to them, Alan? I'm trying to get there.
We had oral with them and I did bring my sex toys and all and I
sucked his balls too hard. Just just Ellen has a fetish
where she pulls on the balls just a little too hard.
I. Really like it.
I can take it, but I've heard of many guys come to me like, like,
dude, she can't be doing that to me no more.
That hurt, that that hurts. What was it?
The One Cup we were with? He walked over here.
Look, I know you can pull Clark's nuts across the room,
but you cannot do that in the mind.
Please don't do that again. I should look at him and go
pussy, yeah. Right.
Pussy, that is awesome. But yeah, he, he, he claimed
like for two weeks that his nuts were hurting him.
Oh there again this is a life experience and so I learned with
other guys to go. So how hard can I suck your
balls? Well, it's not like you're
grabbing them and like holding them in a bunch and pulling on
them. You're just sucking on a.
Ball, you don't do a Mia Yeah time of the base and then pull
that rope up between their asshole and their cheeks.
So. Damn.
Yeah, I would be tapping out there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Getting nothing for guys that
that we got. It's hard for us because we're
older now. We're not, we're not 182535.
We're in our 50s now. And like I remember mine didn't
work that one time. I was freaking out and.
That's why and then say they want to do a, they want to play
in a separate room so they don't have to focus on the other
woman. I don't know.
I don't I. Don't remember, we played with a
couple. We were in the same room and I
was having fun with with his wife and he said he couldn't
perform because she was having fun and it wasn't.
It wasn't from a lack of you sucking his Dick.
That was like, and that did not make sense to us because it's
the opposite for us. We get more turned on when we
see each other getting pleasure from the other people.
Yeah, so. Yeah, yeah, it that that blew my
mind. And they were like, can we do
separate play next time? And Speaking of fun, easy things
to try with with couples on a date, if you one thing we've
done too is we've met the couple at the place and then we swapped
partners before we went inside the restaurant and sat down and
pretended that the other person is your partner.
That's a lot of fun because the waitresses one time the waitress
looked at my husband and the and the other woman said y'all just
make the cutest little couple and I was.
Just no, don't we? It was.
Really fun SO. I would go, OK honey, what you
want to get? So they're trying.
That's fun too, swapping before you go inside the restaurant.
And they can also like take pressure off a new couples.
We had to do that with Cowboy. Yes, we did that with Cowboy to
loosen, loosen them up, especially loosen her up to get
her to loosen up. Yeah, that's.
True, and all it took for that was me to show her a bunch of
videos of us fucking. So that worked.
She got ready, that was about it.
That got her pants. Cowboy was like, what do you
mean you saw fucking and shit? I didn't see anything.
He showed me everything. Oh.
My God, you guys are. Hilarious.
I think that's a great way to end this.
I think that you have, you've really opened a lot of eyes and
ears to what you could potentially do as swingers.
And I, I really say this all the time.
I'm like you guys are the perfect example of a fun couple,
you know. And like you said, you take it
very serious and you communicate very well about it and it just
works out well. Well.
Thank you. But like I said, we've, we
mostly, I, we make mistakes and we learn from it and we just do
the best we can with it. You know, potato.
Potato. Yeah, you know who cares?
I want to know on the record that I have not made a mistake
yet. It's it's, it's been Ellen 99%
of the time. Ellen cannot control herself
when she does things. I literally have to pull her
back something I'm like, whoa or sea bass, slow down.
Yeah, I know that. That's what gets us in trouble
sometimes, too. They're not swingers.
I don't know what you're doing over there.
They're not swingers. You notice you got to convert
them. You know, you're, you're like
working for the Church of the swingers.
That's right. You know, you got to convert,
you know, like, like we're a bunch of Jehovah's Witness.
We're going to go to their door and be like, hey.
Well, we we got one, one couple that are friends that she's
converted but he's not. Yes.
Awesome, She would do it in high Zen.
He won't do it. I'm.
Working on that one step at a time.
That's so awesome. Thank you for having us.
Thank you for joining us. You're welcome.
Fun we always we always love having spending time with you,
our sweet friends. Oh, Ditto.
Ditto, Ellen. Thanks, Clark.
So fun. All right, so until then, may
all your fantasies become realities.