Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I've got with me today.
Charles. Hello.
I know you sound so exuberant to be here, don't you?
So enthused. This morning, I'm sorry.
Well, usually Liv's like good morning.
I miss that kinky little bitch. She'll be back soon.
I. Know not soon enough, damn it I.
Know. I've got all these Subs banging
on my door and saying when's Liv coming back?
You know, little Poe even went and made a meme about Liv.
Oh really? It's yeah, It has a SpongeBob.
It's quite funny. I'm going to send it to you.
He's hungry for to come back. He's very hungry.
OK, They're thirsty. All right, Charles.
So because we're freaks, I thought it was appropriate.
It was your fabulous idea that we talk about some fetishes that
we don't really talk about on the the podcast, the weird shit.
And I like people to realize that they're not alone.
Oh yeah, everybody's got a thing.
Exactly. And it's some of these things
I've never heard of. Well, starter up.
What's your first one? Oh, let's see, here's one
acarophilia arousal from scratching.
Yeah, that sounds disgusting. No.
You know you ever have that itch in the middle of your back and
you rub against the post? You know when.
When you say that, I'm thinking like they're fucking high on
drugs and they're like scratching.
OK, different. OK, Yeah, we met different
groups of people. I can see how that you little
meth addict. Does it know?
Yeah. OK.
That could be interesting. Yeah, I don't hang out with with
junkies. However, I have a lot of
compassion for active drug users and, and, you know, recovering
addicts. That's a difference.
Yeah. It's it's difficult to see that
it really is. Here's one I've never heard of.
Actor Rasti. Arousal by the rays of the sun.
This may be enjoyed during outdoor sex.
I could see outdoor sex but not specifically arousal from rays
of the sun. Maybe the warmth?
You know, I don't know, I've watched this series of porn and
it's always this couple, and it's kind of like 70s vibe.
And she's got this massive Bush and he's got a mash of Bush, you
know, So it's kind of like, and the sun's beating down and
they're laying on the blanket. Yeah, you know.
How would the sun rays get through such Bush?
Very sparsely. He's like, where's that?
Who? At the barrier to the roof,
yeah. OK, they hit me with your X1
this. Is difficult to pronounce.
Oh. Hell no.
No. How about this?
How about aliens? You always talk about fucking
aliens. There's yeah, there's a fetish
about that one. One night you came in and you're
like, I had a dream that an alien was probing me.
Hey, that's fine. Yeah, you're all about it.
Is this an actual failure for that extraterrestrialism or
something? I can't remember.
I'm looking through the other list.
Oh, exophilia. Oh, OK.
That is extraterrestrials. Sure, I'll take a probing.
You would. Well, I want to see how the
little ship works. You know, they said in the 70s,
gas, grass or ass, nobody rides for free.
Yeah, You had asked me the other day, you said if the spaceship
came down, would I get aboard? Yeah.
And I'm like, now I'm completely content with my life.
I don't really want to go into any type of spaceship with a
bunch of strangers, let alone aliens.
British lady asked me that one time on a park bench before she
can get out of her mouth. I'm like, fuck you, I'll do.
It Oh, I know. That's immediately your answer.
That's not even the probing, that's just, you know, I'll take
it. I just want to see what their
how their shit works. They're probably pretty cool.
They came a long way to talk to us.
You never know. I don't think I'd be the best
representative. Shit, no.
They're like, where is this guy from?
Thank you for agreeing so quickly.
He's one of us. Yeah, a little odd.
Speaking of odd, well, not odd, but this was kind of, I guess,
normal agoraphilia, OK, that is dedicated to sex in public
places. I'm not going to look at this
fucking list. Fuck it, because you're, you're
just saying it. So let's do it.
Go for it. Well.
That's a lot here. I love it, I know, but go for
it. OK, So what does it mean?
Dedicated to sex in public places.
Oh, OK. We've had that, plenty of that
at the parties here, you know, exhibitionist, absolutely.
People have. Doing it in adult theaters,
Yeah, I've seen a lot of that and that's fun.
Walmart might be frowned upon to FYI.
Well, let's throw this in. So last night one of my good
friends, Danny, who hadn't talked to in years, called me.
And Charles is sitting there rubbing my feet and we're having
a conversation and she immediately goes into one of her
dream come true's would be to to whore Bree out.
And I said, well, we can always take her to the adult theater.
And she's like, Oh my God, yes, we need to.
We could kidnap her, stick her in the trunk, do all sorts of
kinky shit to her. I.
Don't think you'd have to do that with her.
Just tell her where she's going. She'd volunteer.
Oh yeah, there, there would be no abduction required.
I could pretend. Yeah, I've put it was funny.
At Christmas time, I put Bree in the trunk and had her with the
Christmas gifts and everything. And then I pulled up.
I pulled up in front of my friends and I'm like Santa
Bree's here. There you go.
She put a bow on her. Yeah, and she popped out the
trunk. There you go.
I just wish she'd been naked, you know?
That'd been like full effect. Yeah, I'm sure she wouldn't have
objected that. Naked sub girl with her bow
around her. There you go, covering the Bush.
Covering the Bush. She has no Bush.
Well, there you go. That's even better.
Yeah. Do you want me to read some of
these four favorites? Hit it up.
Let's do it. Alto casophilia, A fetish for
high heels, usually worn by women but not always.
Foot guys. Yeah, this is only foot guys.
Shoe guys, shoe guys. There's a difference.
We did a session the other day. Madison came in and did the
stomping. With her.
Yeah, and he loved the degradation part of it as well.
And I said, so can we call you anything?
Like, you know, you're a fucked up individual and, you know,
you're a dirty pig. And she's like, yeah.
And how much I don't want to take my brand new shoes and put
them on your dirty little body. And he's like, Oh my God, I love
that. While we're there, there's also
the another fetish. Amazons and authoritarians.
Yeah, fetish dedicated to physically strong women like
Amazons. So that would be him getting
trampled. Oh yeah, he loved it.
Did she get his balls? She kicked him in the balls and
then afterwards she said to me, yeah, I kicked him in the balls,
but it didn't, I didn't do it too hard and I'm like, bullshit.
Oh, was he? Did you see it?
No, but I know her. She doesn't do anything easy.
She will tear a motherfucker up. Nice lucky fellow.
Yeah, well this might have helped him.
Amorophilia kink for being unable to see blindfolding.
Oh nice. You know the anticipation of
what's coming. I think you like to blindfold
people too. I love to blindfold people.
I'm guessing you don't like to be blindfolded yourself.
You know you always ask these questions of a Dom and how I
would feel about things. Well it's not running a Dom sub
thing, it's more of a anticipation thing to to me.
Well, OK, you're trying to sound neutral.
I get it, but I'm not in full control if I've got my eyes
covered. OK I was like for sensation
things sometimes feel better when you can't see it wasn't a
Dom sub thing. OK, just checking.
It's a fetish thing. I don't know what how you know,
you do that little thing where you try to flip the script.
But yeah, I gotcha. Yeah, I don't mind being
blindfolded. OK, OK with them when I'm with
my hot lover. So go ahead.
Well, there you go. Yeah.
Let's see, it's something interesting.
Oh, we we think we both have this one.
OK and esteemophilia. Alright, Fetish for people over
extreme sizes like giants or dwarfs.
OK, I have a I I like midgets. OK, I think they're pretty cool.
OK, you ready for the next one? I'm ready for the next one after
you talk about you being a little Midget lover.
Besides that, you and I still have to go see the Midget
wrestling. Would she would.
No it. Look, are we recording?
Yes, we're recording, OK, but think of it is midgets even call
themselves midgets, little people?
However you look, that sounds more rude.
You know, little people. Yeah, it sounds a little kind of
rude to me, but I think I don't know what's wrong with the word
Midget. But words or words, you know,
we're not saying it with I'll intent, Yeah.
That little dude from Jackass is fucking awesome.
Exactly. But yeah, Midget wrestling?
Yep, sure. Exactly.
But Midget porn is fucking great.
I saw a little guy, he was dressed like a pirate on the
deck of a ship nailing some hot blonde.
I'm like good for you Sir. When he was just he was pouring
a coal store. Good for him.
That's awesome. OK.
Well OK, Aquaphilia fetish for water or having sex in or around
water. OK I would say you know when
water goes inside your vagina as you're fucking?
Don't feel a lot, but whatever works.
I would think it would drive people out.
Yeah, it does. Yeah, I've never done it.
It does. I I wear condoms and that just
doesn't seem like a mix for pool water.
No, it is fun though when you're like laying on the the like
stairs, you know, and your your Hoo Haas out of the water.
OK, you're above. Yeah.
That way you don't get the all siphon action going on.
Exactly not. Sorry for the sounds.
We don't need sound effects. You're disgusting.
All right, go ahead. One of my favorites
Asphyxiation, including autoerotic asphyxiation.
Oh yeah, Tell us. Breath play, maybe breath play.
Choking, smothering, strangulation, usually right
before orgasm, but it's dangerous.
I remember the episode of South Park.
I don't know if you saw it, they were, it was some doctor
explaining how somebody it was Remember David Carradine.
I guess it was at the time when they found him in Thailand and
he hung himself in the closet, apparently a victim of
autoerotic asphyxiation. But the way the doctor on South
Park described it, it's right before you have an orgasm, you
wear a Batman costume and tie a belt around your neck and it
makes your orgasm super awesome. And the next thing you know,
poor little Kenny is found in his bedroom and he's wearing a
Batman costume with his hand down his pants with the belts
around his neck and tongue hanging out, and he was gone.
But if he doesn't go that far, it feels really fun.
We might have to delete that whole section.
OK, this list here mentions Otto fellatio and for a man gives
himself a blowjob. And there's only been a few who
succeeded, but I suspect everyone has tried.
I failed horribly. Yeah, why is that?
That all men want to try that. That way we don't have to ask
for help. 0 the same as masturbation, but it would be
super awesome. OK, you wouldn't.
Would you lick your own Kitty if you could?
You asked me this the other day, Charles.
But it wasn't on. Would you suck your Dick?
Fuck yes. See, there you go.
I think everybody would, they just don't want to knit it.
OK. OK, let's go to some bees.
See how this is going right? OK, this is a new word.
Baloney. Filia or belon filia Affinity
depends. Needles and sharp objects.
A lot of people would never lay in a needle into needle play.
I've never really. I don't like needles, but I
think you've done some needlework before.
Yeah, I have. I have.
You know, it's fun. It's not one of my really fun
things to do. There's a lot of different ways
you can do it and you know who you're doing it with in
different places so but a lot of people seem to enjoy it, just
not my bag typically. Some people like the art aspect,
maybe some people like the pain. Yeah, it's just like Shibari.
Some people like the the art aspect of it, but I tell you the
most fun time that I ever had with needles was, and I say it
every time, I stabbed a guy in his Dick and balls and then
flogged all the needles off and then I pissed on him.
Nice. Sounds like a wonderful romantic
evening. It was wonderful.
I wasn't romantic. Well, how fucked up you are like
I am. He would actually come over
every Sunday afternoon and this was our Sunday afternoon and he,
he was a marriage counselor. Nice.
Yes. You know, I had a theory about
counselors when I was in college.
Took a psychology course and then the teacher was a lunatic
and everybody in there who was an aspiring psychiatry student,
no offense. They were all nuts.
They're little nuts and I think the problem was they couldn't
identify what was wrong with them, so they wanted to go out
and help everybody else. But at the end of the day,
everyone of us is a little touched.
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I said that I went
into that field because I was always around mental health.
And I see people with mental health and and drug addiction
and alcohol addiction and that kind of thing.
And to me, you know, the brain is such a complex thing.
Oh, yeah. But if you can help somebody, I
think you know it makes the world a better place.
There you go, and you're still around mental health.
Everyday. Every day.
The next one, I believe you are very familiar with
bimbofication. Oh yeah.
Process of making someone into a bimbo or being turned to a bimbo
of themselves. You haven't done that to many a
Sissy. I have done that to many a
Sissy. Again, our conversation with
Danny last night, you know, she wants to pimp out Breeze.
She want Bree having that shit. But but there's a lot of sissies
that want to be fucking pimped out.
Would that be different from that though?
Bimbo vacation I. Don't think so.
I don't think so. I don't.
Isn't a bimbo somebody who's just kind of, you know?
A slutty whore. Yeah.
Well, let it's more about the look, OK.
Is it? Is it more about the look than
the ACT? No, I think bimbo is just a
nicer way of saying slut or whore.
I thought bimbo was actually worse because it was like a an
idiot slut. Oh.
Can be wrong here? I haven't.
I don't. Know.
I don't know. Again, you know, words or words
you know. It's how we interpret them.
There you go. It was from the 80s.
Speaking of midgets. OK, we're watching something on
TV and the words what the fuck? And what the fuck is
Benchwarmers is great. I have not seen this.
Oh, you would love this movie, love Rob Schneider.
OK. Jesus, I'm not going to look at
that. OK, this is kind of cool.
Yes, body inflation. Hold on, you want to be a bimbo?
Not all the time. I know, but sometimes, right?
Sometimes I like cross dressing, sometimes I don't.
See, I want a volunteer cross dresser, right?
Someone who's local or they're willing to come here and I want
to dress them up. So fucking slutty but hot and
passable. OK then so.
I'm out. No, you can be passable.
You know you can be passable. We can always put a latex hood
on you, make it more formative. Yeah, exactly.
And make it, you know which, where it's nice and form fitting
is getting really, really cute. And then once I dress you up and
everything, and we can still do this.
If you want to do it, I'm happy to do it with you.
I want to drive your ass down to Green Street and Cervantes and
show you where all the hookers go.
We're going to have to do this about midnight though, on a
Saturday night. We'll take your donations for
bail money. I know where this is going.
So you want to finish your you're.
Going to know if they're a cop or not, you know, And the thing
of it is they can pay you after. You know, after the whole point
of this is probably just doing it for free, yes?
Or maybe for? Or see if you can make money.
Or AKFC coupon. Tell me your work for gift
cards. How about a little coffee cup?
Would change written on it. Totally.
It's. Going to be really low rent.
Totally. But sure we can we can try this
we need. To do it.
But yeah, I think KFC coupon is as good as we're going to get.
You know, and I'll park, I'll park a little ways away so I
can, you know, keep checking out how things go.
You have to put on your little hat and fur coat though.
Oh OK, I can do that. Change the name to Slick, but
before before we get off that track, body inflation, practice
of inflating or pretending to inflate a part of 1's body,
often for sexual gratification. I will say two things.
One is the pumps, the breast pump and the penis pump, pussy
pump. But the other are the saline
injections I've seen them inject them into.
They're under the pecs to make breasts and the balls and the
penis. Yeah, I don't like doing that.
It looks, I don't know if it's dangerous or not.
It doesn't. It's got to be dangerous.
You can't be super great for. No, it's very much so dangerous.
But I've seen there's a there's a Dom in Ohio that does this and
it's one of her specialties, but she makes breasts for guys and
they'll last for like 24 hours. But I've seen it to where they
inflate their testicles and it's like massive sizes and I don't
know what that. Is not healthy.
It can't be, but then again, a lot of things people do aren't
really the healthiest, are they? No, no.
I haven't seen a woman do it to her body.
This is all been males. Have you seen any?
Well, other than lip injections, but.
Yeah, Botox injections, yeah. This is mainly saline is what I
was talking about and. Well, I mean, they put saline
bags for titties, you know, but but you're not injecting it into
your breastplate, you know, just Willy nilly.
Pumps used on the anus too. They they really fluffed it up.
Oh yeah, to make it look prolapse.
Yeah, I don't think it looked prolapse.
I think it was. It was the what it teaches all.
You know, what I really fucking hate is when I'm scrolling
through trying to find some really good porn and then you
fucking see this big prolapse, looks like a gorilla's asshole
pops up in your feed that you're looking for, you know?
And it's like, why is that there?
I wasn't looking for that. Well, that's the way it goes.
It is. It's through that wheel of porn.
And it's also how you make new discoveries.
Yeah, like, oh, I didn't know a Nerf football could fit there.
OK, I'm. Sorry, read and stop with your
sound effects, you nasty. That's.
What the delete button is for body modification?
All right. That's tattoos, Piercings.
There's actually a specific word for this, but it's not on this
website. I can't remember the name of it.
I never have gotten into it, and I don't think you're a piercer
either. But I love the artwork of it.
It's beautiful but some people say it makes sex feel better but
I just don't see how it could. Well my friend, she had gotten
her clip pierced and her hood pierced and she loved it and she
said it just intensified everything.
Obviously women with their nipples pierced and men too.
It's just never was on my list of things to do.
No. OK.
Each is their own. Let's find another one here.
I'm trying to keep this somewhat clean.
Why? Some of the stuff is out there.
Casmophilia. All right, what is it?
Aroused by crevices, caverns or valleys?
Oh. OK, I guess you look at the
Grand Canyon and get tingly. Well, I was.
I was automatically assuming something about the body like an
ass crack. It could be, I just didn't
really specify, but yeah, I could.
Yeah, the crack of an ass is quite nice.
Yeah, cleavage. Oh, cleavage is real nice.
Yeah, they mentioned chastity. We've talked a lot about
chastity. They should call it crackophilia
that. Crackophilia, well, that they
might have different, there might be a different Filia, a
test around that. Uh huh.
There's a claustrophilia here of being the opposite
claustrophobia. A person becomes aroused or
experiences orgasm through confinement to small spaces.
So I guess someone that gets off on being trapped.
OK, yeah, not one of my things I would enjoy.
Now I think you had clients before that do like that, right?
Well, I think bondage is a form of claustrophobia if you think
about it. You know, they like to be
suffocated at the same time with breath play and being in a
confined, you know, sack or straitjacket or plastic wrap,
you know, any of that's very confining and.
Well, OK, I never thought of it being a fetish.
My mine was when I liked being tied up.
It's just being out of control. Yeah, you know, letting, letting
someone else tip the reins. And it's found another one here.
Oh, difficult pronouncing chirophilia.
OK, kink related to legs. All right, I am a leg man.
I guess that is a fetish. Oh, it's absolutely a fetish.
They just had a word for it. We have a gentleman that comes
to see us in the dungeon and he puts up these flashlights.
And there were more just like not even flashlights, but
they're like little light stands.
And he'll put them all on the floor because, you know, it's
dark in the dungeon. But we'll turn on the overhead
lights. You know, we'll change up the
lighting a little bit for him, but he wants lights shining on
their legs. Whoever he sees, he wants to
wants them wearing short skirts or shorts, short shorts, but he
wants, you know, long legs. Well, when one of you is getting
ready for a session, I'll stay at the bottom of the stairs and
watch you walk down. And it's very nice, you know?
Very slow, elegant, walk on heels, Done.
The spiral staircases. Yeah, very fucking hot.
Yeah, it's sexy, right? Especially with your shiny black
pants. Oh, OK.
Thank you. Cupping is something we've done.
That's where you let's see what they put small cups or jars
applied upside down on the body. Usually the backfire or hand
pump creates suction that results in temporary bruising
and tight feeling. I've seen the fire cups, but
I've only used the vacuum cup myself.
And you've done this before. What the people that say I
didn't really care for, it's just something to try because it
was new. Do some people really like this?
Oh, absolutely. You know, some people have
different ways of doing it. And then some people they were
annoyed with, why are they moving the cups around?
I've seen people put the suction cups on there or the fire cups
and then move them around the person's body.
And they're like, why are they doing that?
But I think it's like an ancient Chinese culture, you know,
practice culture. Massage wasn't.
It it was actually to release toxins from the body.
That's how it initially started if I'm not mistaken.
Interesting. And we just turned it to a king.
Yeah, and you know, some people like it, but I mean, in truth,
I, I don't see the appeal of putting something on your skin,
trying to pull something through your pores when you're having to
go through how many layers of skin. 7.
There you go. You're not even hitting the
bloodstream. Yeah, You know, I mean, it's
really just pulling the blood up to cause a bruise, you know?
I mean, ultimately it's like, let's say Peel.
I use the penis pump but that's different.
Yeah, totally different. But yeah, I've tried it before,
just like a lot of things and dungeons I have tried just to
knock off my list of shit to do. And you know, some things stick
and some don't. Yeah, some people like it, some
people don't. I know someone recently wanted
to try it and they did, and they told me about it and they're
just like, yeah, it just wasn't for me.
My back hurts. It wasn't all that great.
Yeah, you know. But I've seen some women who've
got one of the massage, the cupping massages and where they
moved the cups around. Yeah, and they looked
practically orgasmic. Yeah.
But when I had it done, it was more annoyance just trying to go
ahead and get through it. Yeah, doesn't look fun to me,
you know? Again, to each his own.
Let's see another one. Dacrophilia arousal caused by
tears or crying. I've yeah, I've heard about
that. That is one thing I haven't been
able to do in a dungeon is cry well, from, from pain, you know,
emotion. I think there's an emotional
context to tears, you know? Agreed.
But you've seen people, plenty of people cry from tears.
I mean, cry from pain, right? Yeah, you know, again, you heard
my friend last night. She's like, you know how many
people you may cry in there? And then I was like, that's
really not my goal. She's like, yeah, you just do
it. Well, it's actually, it's one of
the things in my bucket list is to actually cry from the pain
because I, I can't. Maybe I can someday.
I don't know. But there's emotional context to
it. But I could see how somebody
would get off causing another person to cry, like a real
hardcore sadist or somebody who just wanted to feel like job
well done. You know, in all my years of
doing this, there's only been one person that has come to the
dungeon and they have wanted to cry during the actual session
and they wanted to use their tears as lubricant, OK.
He had some deep shit going on. Very deep shit.
I think like for mine, maybe it would be like a therapy kind of
thing, you know, going so far that you just you let it out.
Yeah, he he told me a horrific story.
That's a whole other story for another day.
But but point of it is he he wanted to cry and he cried and
cried. And he probably needed it.
He did, and it was a big release for him.
I think it's a lot easier for a woman to do that than a man.
I could be sexist here, but it just feels like it's easier for
a woman to let go than a guy. You know, I I really think it's
just how you're raised and you know what you go through in
life, you know, it's I think, you know, you're a strong guy
from Mississippi, you know, and lately that I get a lot of
fucking pussies that were raised in Palm Beach with wealthy
parents. You.
Know oh OK, that's that's different.
That's different. That's not a man.
That's. Going to take a little bit more.
That's a metro, man. I've dislocated my shoulder and
put it in back in myself and then got my you know, and I'm
still I turned into anger. That's the way I deal with shit.
Yeah. And a lot of people should.
That's the way we were raised anyway.
We're getting too serious. That's the fun fetishes.
You're like, no emotion, OK. No emotion.
Go ahead, Charles. Hit it.
Dendrophilia. What is it?
This is going to be the last one before we we close, so make it
good. A sexual attraction to trees.
These are because they are phallic shaped or because of the
texture. Awesome.
OK, I've this is a new one to me.
I know. Have you ever heard of this?
I've heard of it because I've looked at this list.
But I mean like I've. Never met a person, but I will
say that there's been pictures that I've seen on fat life that
people have this fetish and they were like in the redwoods in
California and there was different trees that were, they
were like shaped like vaginas shaped like.
Venuses. Yeah, and they were like taking
up seeing photos with them. But you know, though, thinking
about it, I like a lot of outdoor bondage photos, Yeah.
Where women are tied to trees. And it's not necessarily that
it's a tree. It just looks hot.
So maybe I do have what was it? Dendrophilia.
Well, I think you like outdoors too.
I love the outdoors. Yeah, it's.
Peaceful. Right, it is peaceful.
And if you have a pretty lady tied to a tree with her breasts
separated, yeah, it's giggity. OK, Cragmire.
Well, I think that closes out. Oh, excuse me.
Bless you. Thank you.
So, Charles, it's been interesting.
Yes. You're waiting, and I know you
want me to say it. Oh, I.
Want to hear you say it? Pussy.
Oh. And that's what I'm going to
say. This has been fun time with you
as always. And until then, this has been
the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.