Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I have with me Kylie the
lesbian. Hi.
They know you as Kylie the Lesbian.
They. Do Kylie the virgin lesbian?
It's it's known now. It is known.
It is very known it. Is known the myth, the legend?
Who is coming to the mic for one specific reason?
So drum roll. So Kylie is.
Not a virgin anymore when? I called Kylie, she texts me
this today, in fact, and you text me and I was like, whoa,
wait a minute. I can't visually read this.
I've got to hear it with my own ear to the phone.
And I called you and I said, wait a minute, what was this?
An actual man penis? And you're like, yes, I.
Texted it and I was like she would like to know and fun fact
I've been holding on to this information for a little bit and
I was like OK the next time I see Mia I'm gonna let her know.
But then I was like you know what I'm just gonna text it And
so I texted her. Side note, felt like you would
want to know. No longer the lesbian virgin.
I get a text that just says go. This is no way with like 4
exclamation points and then I get a phone call and I start
laughing so hard because I'm literally about to text it back
and text up the bag and she calls.
She's like, no, I, I had to call for this one.
I did. I was like an actual man penis
because when you talked about this before, like, Oh yeah, I
get a freeway watching college and I'm like, OK, it was a
dildo. Shut the fuck up.
Dildos are not the same. And you know, Barbie and I did
an episode the other day, I posted it and she and I were
talking about I always tease her, tease Barbie because I'm
like size queen. She's like, am I really a size
queen? I'm like Barbie, you have a 13
inch like manhandler Dick dildo and she's like, but come on, you
know, like no big deal. She actually whipped it out in
front of someone who has a fucking sex store and she's
like, wait a minute, was that was that the new Doc Johnson?
And she said, you know, sure. Yeah, that's what I have.
That's great. I love that for Barbie.
Yes, and mine is not that big. I will say mine are lower than
that. But, you know, goals, goals.
She says she does have smaller ones.
She says they're not all big, but I think all women are like
that because I was talking to Layla London.
She does the Curious Girl Diary podcast and she's like, she
saves the big one. Her like her big one for just a
wild night. She's like, yeah, I'll just, I
break out the big one because, you know, I don't want to
stretch my pussy out too much. Right.
Like that's the main reason that I haven't like gotten too big
because I'm like, I'll stick with this 9 because like, yeah,
it's thick, but you know, later down the line I might want
thicker and I don't want to be ruined.
You know, like what if it doesn't bounce back like you got
do kegels? Like you sit I.
Do, but it's not do the bigger you get.
I'm telling you, you got it. You just suck in the kegels.
You squeeze, squeeze, squeeze that vagina, you know, like
sitting here right now. I'm squeezing.
Come on, you know. I know so many things about Mia
guys that I don't want to know. Like y'all hear some stuff but
y'all don't know this shit she talks about when y'all aren't
there. Well, fuck you too, Kylie.
All right, so I got to know. I got to know about this Dick.
OK, so was it so good that you're like, OK, I'm no longer a
virgin. I'm no longer a lesbian.
I'm a little personal, no, OK, look, it was not as bad as I
thought it was going to be, but it was not as good as me.
It makes it look seemed like, like she made it seem like it
was the Holy Grail and I'm over here like that.
Great. It really didn't remind me much
difference of a dildo when it was actually inside me.
However, I will say that giving a VJ is completely different
from a dildo. Completely different and about
10 times better. I will admit, I'll probably end
up doing that again. Yeah, that's a star.
I don't know so much about the vaginal.
We'll see. The feeling of it coming inside
you is completely different from a dildo in this aspect of it
actually. Like you can feel it, it dildo,
it pulls out hard. It's it's it's hard in and out.
It just comes out hard. Yeah, men don't do that.
No, I was not prepared for that. I was, I was not mentally
prepared at all for that whatsoever.
I was like, he was like, are you OK?
And I'm like, no, no, I'm not. This is weird.
Yeah, it's different, isn't it? It's.
Completely different I'm. Like, Oh my God.
I've had some people, someone I'm just like, how do women do
this all the time? Like I'm just like, how do you
feel that all the time and not be completely grossed out?
I don't get it. I haven't figured it out.
So the the actual semen grossed you out.
No, the getting it, the coming out soft is what grossed me out.
That was that was a gross feeling.
I was like OK so kindly. School.
Yeah, Lesbian. Conclusion Still lesbian for.
Sure, lesbian. OK, but here's the deal.
Not all men do that. Not all men go soft after they
come. Some men, even after they have
an orgasm, they're hard and they stay hard.
So that I'm just throwing that out there that all men are
different. So when doing interviews, I need
to know if you stay hard after you orgasm because if not, you
cannot go in there because that was disgusting and I'll never do
that again or they'll. Have to pull out before they
have an orgasm or that they go flaccid, yeah.
Or that Either way, yeah. But we ain't doing that again.
That was gross. OK, all right, all right.
If you could see this. Face right?
It's like you've got something like bad, like a, like a live
octopus in your mouth. You know, you're like, yeah,
like what came out of my fussy. So gross.
I was like it was so gross. Had it went out, had it came out
hard, it was probably would have been fine.
But when it came out South, I was like how do women do this
all the time? I don't how do women do this all
the time? Like how do men?
I can't. It didn't go on my butt, but I
cannot imagine it being in my butt like that would have been.
I don't think I could have survived.
I think I would have had to walk out.
I think that would have been. In all right, so you're gonna
walk me through this a little bit because I I don't
necessarily need the visual, but I just need.
You want the visual but. I do.
I want a visual. I want, I want to understand.
From pictures or it didn't happen.
Listen, listen, if if you fucked a hot 20 something year old,
which by the way, like my number, it must be 28 because I
have had so many fucking 28 year olds in the last month come
flocking to Mia and be like Mistress Mia, I want to be your
personal slave. And I'm like fuck, maybe.
So yes, you know, because 21, hey, 18 or older, I'm good.
I'm not. I'm not talking about you.
Talk about me. Oh.
About you Oh. If they ain't thirty, I mean it,
the lowest I will go is 27. If they ain't 27 or up, I.
Come on, Kylie, listen to me. Listen.
I need them older. No.
I do. Listen, they can be mentally
older, like my husband's like a grandpa mentally, but let me
tell you, fucks like a fucking racehorse.
And that's what I'm saying. You get a young guy who's man he
is popping that shit and he has got stamina and he wants to come
like 3 times in a row without getting soft.
Fuck yeah, that's what you need, young fucking bull.
Just saying. Kylie is looking at me like she
is so uncomfortable right now. I don't do younger ever.
I'm 2427 is about as young as I'm getting.
That is as close to my age range as I'm getting.
Oh my gosh. 30 and up is preferred.
Listen, I'm. Glad you got a real deck.
That's what I'm happy about. That's what I'm happy about.
OK, so did you, did you write it or did you get fucked from
behind? What were the positions here?
All of the above. All of the above.
OK, right on, right on. So did you like?
Writing the deck that I came in here last time and I told you I
don't ride and that's because riding a dildo is incredibly
complicated. Hersa legs not at all fun.
OK, sure it's not, but then a real one that is 10 times harder
then riding a dildo. I was like, why are people doing
this when they have dildos? It's just as hard.
It's actually harder because that thing's like, it's like, no
things are. Backwards cowgirl.
We tried, I couldn't. We couldn't get it in OK, we
couldn't. We couldn't figure.
Out. So you need a bigger Dick then?
I mean I always need them bigger.
Like it's Helle. Figures, figures always better
God. Yeah, I trust me.
Trust me, I've seen a big Dick this past week and I was like.
I don't feel that way when I've seen it, but OK.
Yeah, no, you hadn't seen the right Dick.
I'm just saying we need you need to expand the horizon.
And yeah, the next event we go to, I will scream through some
cocks, men. I'm just saying.
Now you're. Looking at me like what?
Yeah. All right, so this is a good
Dick for you to try this one. Just.
Go through the list I want do a lineup.
Fuck yeah, do a fucking lineup they want to fuck.
They're going to show me their goddamn Dicks.
Like, don't hold back your laughter.
You're fucking laughing your ass up.
Laugh at that shit. I'm just telling you, you want a
guy who has shaved, you know, or at least trimmed everything and
you don't want hairy balls. Men, women do not like hairy
balls. It's like sucking on wire.
No one likes it. You look at me funny again.
Why are you? Putting the balls in.
Mouth because sometimes men like their balls in your mouth.
People have bought Yes, yes. I'm still a lesbian guy.
I just want it's like. Putting pussy lips in your
mouth. That is not the same thing.
Well, that's what men are. I mean men.
Men are butts. A man's Dick is a clit and their
surrounding is yes, you know, you got the labia.
Just saying just. Saying the cooter fell out.
And you know, I mean, you're fucking chicks and sometimes
there's some pretty ugly pussies out there.
Like I've seen a fucking lot of ugly pussies on Fat Life.
They are all beautiful in their own ways.
Oh my God, shut up, lesbian. Anyway, that's what I say about
this. I can hear on opposing side.
I'm advocate for the cops. But anyway, for women.
I know you're advocate for women.
That's OK. You're only 8% of my listeners.
Well. That's why you put lesbians on.
I know. Draw the crowd.
Yes, all the men want to hear what the aspects of a lesbian
life and their sex life is about.
So true story the other day I had people, I guess I post
video, post stuff on fat life all the time and I got and I get
messages from men quite frequently and a lot of them I
just immediately tell them like I'm all the way gay.
No chance some will leave me alone.
Someone be like, oh, let's just talk and be friends or whatever.
Some will later down the line try, but I had one the other day
that was very direct. He's like, I understand you're a
lesbian, which it's always going to be interesting when they
start with I know you're a lesbian because it's either
going to be something super sexual or just something stupid
or funny. This was one of the funny ones.
He goes, I know you're a lesbian, but I was wondering if
I could send you a picture of my cock.
And I was like, I'm all the way gay, honey, I don't look at
those. And he goes, oh, I just wanted
to see what a lesbian thought of it.
And I was like, I'm gonna tell you right now.
Don't show true lesbians your Dick randomly because they will
hurt your feelings. He did ask.
Like I said, he was one of the funny ones.
He wasn't one of the more inappropriate ones.
But I will say on Fat Life, I don't get a whole lot of
unsolicited Dick pics. I think one or two maybe, but
very few, very few, which is minus the profile pictures which
you know. Yeah, yeah.
You know, I think that there's certain men who know how to be
artistic, you know, with their genitals and those are the kinds
you appreciate. But when you have and honestly,
women are the same way because I mean, I really, I don't think
all pussies are pretty. I mean, I think there's some
that are really nice, but there's somewhere they think
it's cool to like spread everything.
And I don't want to look inside their vaginal hole.
I don't want to see what their walls of their vagina look like.
I don't want to see what their asshole looks like Spread and
I'm not yuck and Yum so OK I'm just saying I don't want to see
it. Yeah, I just.
You know, I just don't and so I'll mute them because I don't
want to see it. Same thing with the dude and he
is just and if guy is unattractive and he posts a
picture and it's like hairy balls, you know, gut hanging out
laying in bed like, you know, I look in there, you know, but
again, if you can only see Patty.
'S face right now. I'm just saying there's men that
think it's OK that, you know, women want to see this and they
just don't, you know, But I often tell dudes I'm like, look,
if you're over 40 and you've never been married, there's a
reason. And usually it's a personality
issue and that you have no game, you know, I'm just saying.
Yeah. And, and nine times out of 10,
if they're showing stupid pictures on fat, again, there's
a reason why you're saying, and I love all men, but I'm just
saying there's a reason why you're not married.
There's a reason why you're not in a committed relationship.
Not but also you got to remember that not everyone wants to be
married or be in a committed relationship.
All men want to have some type of relationship because they
need a woman to guide them. All men do, I'm telling.
You interesting? I don't know enough about men,
so I'm going to take your word for it.
Bitch, I'm the queen of this shit, you know this.
I know it's possible to take your word for it.
Yeah, I mean men are lost puppy dogs and a.
Sweet man to the Memonium. It is.
When I learn how to speak English, you're.
OK. But, you know, and it's a sweet
concept, Yeah. Like I said, if they're lost in
life, they need a strong woman to help them, you know, either
be supportive or lead them or guide them, you know?
It's a sweet concept. Yeah, I mean, they come out of
their mama's womb and they're still trying to crawl up into
another. Another one.
I'm just saying. I'm just saying I'm doing the
same thing I mean. You want to get back in Mama's
womb? Not hers, but I mean I wouldn't
mind getting in a couple. I mean if I think I could reach
that farms. Where do you see yourself?
At this point, you're. Because you're ready to explore
with other men. I am I, I'm ready to explore
with other men. I've been thinking about
exploring other men as far as aspects of playing for about two
months now. I was like, let's try men out.
Let's let's, let's see how that area plays.
And I mean, I am mostly submissive.
So I was like, obviously we're gonna have to find more dominant
men, but there's a lot of submissive men out there too.
And my brain just goes, you know, that's a man at my beck
and call. It is.
I'm just might have to start trying that.
But it's also like, it's not that I'm necessarily new to
topping. It's just that I'm a little bit
more new to like the domination part of it.
But I know the skills. It's more of like, I'm still a
little nervous because I don't know how they'll respond because
what if they decide to not listen?
What if they decide, you know, I still have that big fear of
that. But I will say that I'm less
afraid of the Dick now at least. OK, so back up to you're afraid
to dominate a man because you're afraid he's not going to listen,
right? He's not going to listen.
You kick his ass out and that's how simple it is.
You don't want to cooperate with me.
Get the fuck. Out.
That's it. I don't know that I have the
balls for that bitch you. Gotta have balls.
You gotta have balls if you're eating pussy all the fucking
time, OK? I'm just saying don't be
intimidated by man. That's not how life it is.
Don't be in fear of the rejection of them not listening.
To you, and I mean. Male Subs are like female Subs,
right? Yeah.
They want attention when they want it.
They're needy and when they're horny, God forbid, you just have
to accommodate them otherwise they're going to whine like a
little bitch. Yep, that's yeah.
That's how sub is, right? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's very true. Like I said, I've never
actually, I still haven't actually had an experience with
a male sub. I mean, I've talked to one or
two like on Fed, but I had one that was going to go pretty far
and then one that I really, really considered it.
But then I was just like, no, but I haven't actually had like
met up with 1 yet thus far. I probably will at some point,
but I don't. It's just like trying to get
over the intimidation of men and being alone with a man, you
know, in that aspect and like fear that he won't listen to
fear. The boundaries were
disrespected. And I mean, I have the same fear
with women, but I guess I'm just so used to women that like, it's
like, I'm not afraid to tell him to fuck off, you know?
I'm not afraid of what they're going to do, but I am still very
afraid of what a man would do if I tell them to just fuck off.
I think is the big thing. It's just lack of experience.
OK, well here's the thing to weigh out.
So there's two types of male Subs.
There's the genuine kind who are willing to be cooperative and
act like an adult and follow through with what they say.
Yeah, it's just a man's integrity.
But if they're not, then they're the opposite.
They basically just want to use you for sex, use you for what
they can get, and then they'll leave.
Yeah. You know, but what it all boils
down to is you can't be in fear of rejection.
You have to say you are the shit, because what man doesn't
want to fuck a woman who is pretty much a virgin still, you
know? Yeah, And if he takes advantage
of that, then fuck him. You don't need him.
That's. True, that's.
It I'm telling you, I've been with over 1000 men.
I know. I know how this works.
And men, I love men, but they're fucking stupid.
They're stupid. They think with their Dick, but
either they listen or they don't.
And if you remember when you and I talked about this after the
last party, you were gracious enough.
You came over, you helped me. We had a great afternoon.
We're talking, and I said, you know, if you've never been with
a man before, you should probably find a man who is a
submissive, someone who's sweet and kind and has feminine
aspects to him. Yeah, yeah, I'm telling.
You that's that's a good route to take and you'll be amazed at
some of the submissive men that you might find that you'll click
with 'cause you wanna click with somebody.
Yeah, before you fuck em. Obviously.
Yeah, yeah, I don't. I get the point.
Yeah, you get the point. I have just been like, you wanna
fuck? And we did.
But you know. And you could always meet
somebody here in the dungeon. I don't come.
First dungeon. Do what I don't.
Come to the dungeon very often. No, my dungeon.
Oh yeah, my. Dungeon if you say, hey, me, I'm
I'm what? I want to meet this guy off
that. You know, if you don't want to
meet him out in public at a coffee, I'll, you know, I'll be
the third person. You can come bring him over to
the dungeon. You can sit and talk and go from
there. OK.
Yeah, I appreciate. That yeah, you don't have to be
intimidated to go meet anybody, 'cause I know it's intimidating,
'cause you're a small stature woman.
Yes, yes, I'm very. Little Yeah, you're I get it.
I've done that for some of my friends.
I'm like, yeah, come on, we'll meet by the pool.
Yeah, you know, keep it casual. Yeah, eventually we'll see.
We'll see where it leads. Definitely gonna definitely like
the blowjob things 100% gonna be happening at some point.
Like that's not even a question. The sub we'll see, but.
Do you like second deck? Yes, that was yeah, that was
great. That was great.
It was fantastic at the women are like it's so gross.
I'm like, no, it's not no, it's not.
See, I've done it with dildos before and like I love doing it
on dildos. Like my favorite way to do it.
Like one of my favorite like rewards to get is to like Neil
and rice and suck, suck a dildo. My my preferred dildo.
Yeah, it's like my favorite reward to get, but a real Dick
completely different. It is and, and now I've
experienced like the side of them controlling my head because
it was dominant, obviously of them controlling my head and
like the autopilot, which was that was great.
Just like my brain shutting down just autopilot.
That was fantastic. And then now I'm like, OK,
let's, let's try it to someone who is going to let me
completely decide what I want to do and how I want to do it.
You know, like let me be in control of the pleasure
basically. And I'm very interested to try
that. That will be happening at some
point. So did you start sucking the
stick when it's hard or soft? The first time it was hard
before I put it in my mouth and then later after he came in my
mouth we took a break and then I talked about it was soft and got
it hard again. So I've done it both ways now
seemed. Not exciting.
The growing was weird. I will say the soft thing is
weird. That's just weird to me.
It doesn't look. It looks weird.
It feels weird. Yeah, it's different.
It's weird. It's not different.
It's weird, it's weird. There's all this excess skin and
it's just, it's, it's weird. It looks funny.
It, I mean it just slips back over the pants.
Jesus, so fucking funny. That's great.
When it's hard, it's not that bad.
I did find that holding it in my hand feels OK.
The only thing I compare feeling it to me, which I mean, I know,
but most people that listens podcast knows what a Dick feels
like. But in my brain, like the only
thing I could describe holding a Dick to was like, there's these
toys that you get when you're a kid and they're they they water
toys and they're like folded in. They have like water in the
middle and you kind of wiggle them.
That's exactly what it feels like.
And I'm like, I now never a want to touch one of those toys
again. And BI don't think any kids
should have access to those because that's exactly what a
Dick feels like. Yeah, yeah.
It's they're, they're, they're OK, hard.
They're, they're very similar to a dildo, hard but soft.
Those things are weird looking and then getting soft and you
I'm I'm never doing that again. OK, again, again, if anyone is
local in the Pensacola area and it says sub male with a nice at
least a nine inch deck, you better reach out to me so we can
reach out to Kylie and you got a properly fucker.
I'm just saying, I mean, damn, God bless.
And you know, it's interesting. Most men that I've ever had sex
with, with big Dicks, man, they know how to fuck because they
take their time with it. They're always fucking hard.
It's like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna say no, no, no.
Yeah, it was funny. You know, we're working on now
the hydraulics for the hydraulic lift on my slave bed.
OK, Yeah. And I love it.
It's just, it's gonna be so fucking badass because I'm
having these two compartments, one for my GIMP doll, one for my
Sissy doll. Boom, you know, put him in the
box. You know, we're moving my heavy
ass mattress and there's no springs to it.
It's all latex. So it's fucking heavy is heavy.
And so I'm standing there and holding up the mattress while
he's doing his thing on the on the box and my friend Brie walks
in. My friends like, Oh my gosh, if
this mattress could talk. The story they would tell.
Stories I would tell. I've had this mattress for a,
for God, 15 years and I was like, yeah, I said, look, I said
it was a good thing it didn't have springs.
I would have worn the fuck out of it, I said.
But I was. I would need a new mattress.
I would need a new mattress, yes.
I mean I wore my old one out, but I mean this one, I got it
specifically that has no fucking springs in it.
It's all latex. And so I said I said it was so
great. Was at my my old place before I
met my husband. I would have gang bangs and
orgies all the time. And it was just being me with
multiple men. And so I would fuck so much that
I just finally put a couch at the end of my bed and I would
turn it around for when they wanted to take a break and I
would fuck other people. But then I had like I was
everything for by mails because I was like, I need a fluffer.
Who's going to fuck that Dick for me?
You know, love that Dick you. Need a mediator?
Yes. So it's like, yeah, we had a
fucking blast, but I was like, Oh my God, Bree, one time, Oh my
God, seven dudes came over. We were having such a fucking
amazing time. I had Dicks in both hands up.
But anyway, that's my point. I'm just saying, Kylie, you
know, branch out with some big fucking Dicks.
Craigslist used to be the fucking shit back in the day.
Now you got so many damn fucking apps.
You know, it's like you want to put a criteria, but I would just
write these ads on Craigslist. I'd be like 9 inches that's it.
Boom. If you have something smaller,
do not contact me. Smaller, not allowed.
Size does matter. Size does matter.
I was OK with guys that you know, are just spy guys.
So you know, 6-7 inches average, it's totally fine, but I'm just
not going to fuck him as much. I mean, it's like, it's fine,
but I'm not going to touch it as much as you want me to.
I touch it and suck it. Come on guys.
Little bite size thing, it's good.
With me sometimes and sometimes I'm like, why am I here?
It's just my life now. So tell me, what else about this
adventure did you really enjoy? I mean, I enjoyed all of it.
I mean, I will say at the biggest, like downside for me,
aside from this getting soft to me that was, but the other like
major downside was cuddling with a man is completely different
from cuddling with a woman because women they're they're
they're comfy pacifiers and pillows and just amazing,
wonderful things that women have on their chest.
It's just beautiful, glorious. I could read poems.
Absolutely love love. Them I talk about babies like me
and talks about Dick, yeah. Yeah, like, oh, I can cross my
head next to a Dick and suck out all day long.
I promise. Go ahead.
All right, in your face. Hey, give me boobies.
Yes, boobs, yes, I will suck on the boob all day as long as you
will let me be on them, honey, as long as you let me be on
them. But hoggy men, you don't have
that. They don't have boobs.
They flat chested and they don't have boobs and that was they
don't have boobs and that was very sad.
I was very sad. I was I was laying on them like
there's no boobs. They suck.
There's no there's no titty gripping.
There's no. So.
He sucks. That's what you need.
I need fun. I need a couple.
I need, I need a Dick that I can suck and then it can fuck her
because I don't want to get himself to me again.
And then I can just lay on her and suck her boobs and then
maybe go down if she wants me to, you know, Yeah.
Maybe see what the cum feels like on a on a on a clit, you
know, maybe that's an. Experience.
You do a cream pie. Easy.
Oh, eat one. OK, Yeah.
I was like, what are you? Talking about oh, sorry, that's
that's non lesbian lingo. I'm sorry.
It's where a man comes on a woman's vagina and you go down
and you eat it. So could you imagine a man
standing over his girlfriend? He like any like spews right
there on her pussy and be like OK Kylie get to work.
Sounds like a fun time actually, doesn't it does, yeah.
Also, who is going to tell me that cum isn't actually white?
I'm sorry, now how? Is not completely white like it
was like more like cream colored.
Now I was like I was expecting like I was expecting to be like
pure white snow and it turned out to be like this like really
light colored stuff. It was almost I was like what is
this? What?
What is this? Okay, cream colored as in.
I don't. Like.
Like an E crew, like a beige it. Was more it was more like it was
like cream like not explain it like cream.
So you put cream in coffee and how it changes the color.
Okay, that's what it reminded me of.
Okay, It was not white at all. It was not stark white.
I was like, who was gonna tell me this?
All right, well, let's go into health class right now.
All right, So there's a lot of men who do not drink a lot
water, okay? And if they don't drink a lot of
water, a lot of times they have chunky semen where it will come
out and just, yeah, you looking at me funny, But it'll be it'll
be white, it'll be thick, and it will just come out in drops of
chunks. That's what it is, because
they're dehydrated, they're not drinking enough water, OK.
However, the more water and I, I'm going to reiterate this with
men, the more water they drink, the clearer the semen, OK, and
the more fluid it will be. Yeah, It was very, like, it was
not very light, like it was not very white at all.
It was like very cream, almost clear.
Like it was very. I was like, who was gonna tell
me that this is not Snow White? Like this?
I was expecting Snow White to be down my leg, and instead there's
just like almost clear. Like it looked like I was the
only one that came like. Yeah.
So he's obviously, he drinks a lot of water.
Yeah, yeah. So that's, I mean that's a plus
side. Yeah, it did taste exactly how I
thought it would taste them. I will say I was prepared for
that bleach. It was a little it was it just
tasted like salt, like like pure water salt.
What taste it like to me? OK.
Well, he drinks a lot of water, Yeah, maybe he had a high salty
diet. I.
Don't know. But I mean, it was very, yeah,
my friend were talking about where switch gears, you know, my
friend were talking about this the other day over the fact
that, like, pussies smell generally.
Like, I've been with a couple, I've been with a good handful of
girls, and some of them have strong, very strong senses and
taste and then some you can't really smell at all.
And I've been told by people who've gone down on me that I
don't have much of A taste or smell.
Like even when I'm excited, there's not much much of
anything there. And I was like, what causes
that? Because like I've looked at like
my play printer that I just you know, that just ended.
And my ex both had strong smells.
My ex was a strong smell period. And it wasn't that she was
dirty. She just had a strong smell just
all time. And when she was wetted hit you
in the face. And she also had a really strong
taste like that. But the play burner I had, she
was she only had a strong smell when she was wet and she was a
bit she had a strong taste too. But I don't have that.
I'm like the diets are all like different.
Like I don't know what causes that.
But anyways, my friend, really. No, not really.
OK. Do you drink a lot of fluid in
general? Yeah, I do.
I do drink a lot of fluid throughout the day.
You know, typically a lot of it is more so genetic.
OK? So like, a lot of women are
prone to God. OK, men, I'm sorry you're going
to have to hear this, but a lot of women are prone to, you know,
vaginosis or yeast infections or discharge.
Oh yeah, or these. Ugly things that happen, you
know, sometimes they take an antibiotic, messes with their
pH, sometimes excessive sweaters, but bottom line, it's
all an internal thing. So a lot of times it's all in a
diet of what you eat and it's all in how much fluid you drink
that it's going to flush out your system.
You know, So I remember like I've never had God, this is, I
know I get so transparent personal, but I've never had an
abnormal Pap smear. There's a lot of women that go
and they'll have like bad pH or anything like that.
I'm like you, I've always been told.
Oh, wow, You don't. You don't have a taste.
You don't have a smell. Yeah, you know, and that's
that's a great thing. Yeah, it is good.
It's just weird because like I was like, because my diet is
extremely limited because I have a couple of different health
issues. So my my diet is extremely
limited. So I tell you what.
So all the men I've been with, all men have been different.
But I will say that I used to have an ex-boyfriend and he was
Amerasian. Beautiful man, just a beautiful
man, sexy as fuck. Oh my God, he was one who's
always giving me like the crossdresser experience because
he would paint his nails and I would paint his nails and you
know, he'd wear panties for me. And we always had, I mean, the
sex was mind blowing, but you know, he had a six inch penis.
It was never a massive Dick. It had a nice scarf.
But I mean, he's just beautiful. And it was like his Dick and
balls. Again, he's primarily Asian and
he had like the softest skin and so like his Dick and balls, it
was like fucking silk, mind you. And he had very limited body
hair. You know, David, if you ever
listen, I'm just saying you always had the great sex.
And let me tell you, he would eat pussy like a motherfucking
champ. Like we had such amazing sex and
I miss the sex but I do. But no doubt.
But I will say. Big ball like that.
That his come, He would be so conscientious of this because he
would care more about me because I would suck his Dick until he
came a lot of times because we both liked it.
I was totally down with it. And he would always eat
pineapple. And I know people are just like,
pineapple isn't really a thing, but yes, men who eat fucking
pineapple, his cum never had a fucking taste.
It was like water. It didn't come out white.
It was like perfect. It was like, yeah, I could drink
this all day, put it in my fucking tea.
It was that Kylie's face. Right now, I'm sorry, Kylie, me.
I took the cream to reference a little too literally, I think.
You have to, you have to be because a lot of men don't
realize. A lot of men honestly do not
realize. Let me tell you, I've had like
all weekend fuck fast with one individual, OK?
And I will tell you that at some point I fucked him so much and
he came so much, he started dry heaving.
By the time he was having an orgasm, he was trying to have an
orgasm. He would have an orgasm, nothing
would come out. You know, that's impressive.
I'm telling you it's. Really fucking impressive.
Impressive. Yeah.
So I mean, I've come dry before, but he was after out.
I mean it when it comes to like that kind of stuff, I'll push
limits. Like I think my record is 40 and
six hours or something like that.
Yeah, I gotcha. But it was, I mean, by the end,
not only was I, I was like, but it was also like, it was, it was
dry. It was there's nothing, nothing,
nothing. Yeah, fun.
Times it is. Fun times this is.
This is this is my life, guys. This is.
Right, Good morning, my listeners, and happy Monday.
Thank you for joining us for this lovely episode.
I just actually recorded it over the weekend with Kylie the
lesbian virgin. You can find her on Fetlife as
Kylie Marley. She is so funny and so fun and I
really cannot tell you how much I enjoyed doing this episode
with her. It was a little over 2 hours so
I have kind of separated it into three different episodes.
So I hope you enjoy it. Sit back and laugh and maybe get
some interesting insight on what lesbians really think about your
Dick. Until then, have a fabulous day.