Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
Today I have with me as always, Madam, Live as always.
Well, you know, Barbie can come in when she can come in.
But that girl, she works three damn jobs.
Yeah. She does her drag show.
I don't have the third job or second job.
I just come here. I know I live at your house.
I know, right? Pretty much.
Don't tell them that because then they'll think, oh fuck
yeah, I'm just going to contact me at 2:00 AM because that's
what they like to do. Yeah, you.
Should by 4. My God, I got this message the
other day and I was like, God, this guy has got some time on
his fucking hands. Oh, he written a long.
Thing a lot of them do when they're stupid, but there's some
there's some that write stuff and it's like what?
Sounds like either way, that's stupid.
Either way, this one was it's time for you to choose a winner
and stop staying down for a beginner.
I'm in town. Let's make a power move.
Yeah, that was his. That was his.
Opening line.
That's his. Line.
All right, Yeah, I'm staying down for losers, apparently.
I don't know what that fuck means, but I got a really great
e-mail from your favorite and I sent that to you yesterday and I
was like Oh my God that's so sweet.
Fantastic podcast. I listen to most every week and
usually learn something. Maybe you've already covered it
in one of the past podcasts, but I'm wondering about what you
recommend in terms of prep to clients who want to be pegged.
I assume enemas are typical, but I have found that doesn't always
prevent a mess or a liquid expel, even if it's mostly
clear. I'm fortunate that my wife plays
in BDSM 2 and although she is usually the sub, we occasionally
switch it up so she's the Dom. But appreciate any advice you
have on the subject. So ironically enough, Liv was
just saying earlier that this lovely little submissive of hers
decided that he was going to shit on her not once, but twice.
And then he's like, Oh no, it's OK.
There's nothing wrong, Liv. Two different people.
Oh, it was two different people. One that said there was nothing
wrong, that he was clean, even though, yeah, he.
Had a dirty butt? OK.
He was like, no, no, I'm clean, just keep going and I'm like.
No. This isn't clean.
Do not smell that. I smell that.
This happens all the time. All the time.
Well, I don't like it. I know.
And This is why I don't like pegging men.
Get you to the point where you really fucking hate it.
And you know, Charles asked me the other day, he's like, do you
like to peg? I said, yeah, you know, I'll
pick a one. But to peg a man I really don't
want to wear my pants because then I end up getting shit on me
because here's the thing. So like this person wrote me,
what do you do besides just the enema?
Well we have a lovely Sissy and she comes and she gets gang
banged by huge fucking Dicks when she goes out and about and
she suggests fast fast and do not eat up to 8 hours.
And even before that, she said, you know, eat soups, eat very
light liquid stuff, you know, for that full 24 hours.
And it just kind of alleviates everything because you want that
asshole to be dry and clean. Yeah, you know.
Yeah, I have been. Somebody else had pooped on me
too. Yeah.
Or I know he actually. Oh, I don't want to say it.
Yeah, one knows what I'm talking about.
I don't want to say it. He knows.
I know. He knows.
We're not going to say it out loud, OK?
You know who you are. The point of it is, you know, if
you want pegging, you've got to really be dedicated to do it and
to actually, you know, take the time to fast, not eat, don't be
a fucking pig. Stop eating and clean it out.
You know, a lot of people even take a hot water bottle, fill it
up with distilled water, warm water, and they go lay in the
bathroom and you know, there's a good quart of water that pushes
through and it can go real slowly inside of you.
But it's a 2 hour process, you know, and so it'll clean you all
the way out. Some people do coffee enemas.
Why not put? Coffee in.
There they do. They put good quality coffee
going. To be get up and go then.
Well, yeah. Stream automatically.
Yeah, there was a show and I forget what it was on, but this
couple, every morning they did a coffee enema.
They said it gives you the energy because that caffeine
goes inside your tissue, you know, and you absorb it quicker
in your bloodstream, through your rectum.
And they said it gives them energy.
They clean everything out, they feel better.
They're never constipated. But a lot of gastrologists would
not recommend a coffee enema everyday.
They just wouldn't do it. It was funny because Brie went
to go play with one of our sub friends years ago and Bree was
expecting her to be completely submissive the whole time.
Well he's like here let me do a coffee enema on your brain.
She's like, oh this is exciting 'cause she gets all horned up
and then she says after her coffee enema and she's tasting
coffee which she hates. She then said that he said, OK,
my turn now I'm going to be submissive.
And he wanted the coffee enema. He wanted the coffee enema and
the sub treatment and she's like, yeah, no.
Yeah, you got to. You got to have communication
before you start. You do.
You got to know if you're going to be how we're going to do
this. All right, so then you got some
good feedback on the podcast from your dear favorite.
Let's see. Love the podcast.
I appreciate the understanding and the validation of emotional
roller coaster ride of the subject.
This is some little chat with you and I that we did the other
day. We talked about ABDL and a few
other things. I'm very lucky that I have you
all in my life. Madame Liv is awesome and anyone
who is lucky enough to get a session with her should consider
themselves very lucky. I know me and me and him has
grown a lot and I really enjoy, you know, just the steps we've
taken towards, you know, opening up to each other.
Yeah, you know, you you have two favorites.
It's him and Mandy Gandy. Yeah, you do.
You love. Them I talk about them on a.
Time you do because they're so sweet and you know Mandy is
always very kind and they're thoughtful and they're fun you
know and I got asked the other day so how do you determine
discounts and I'm like well if they're nice they're definitely
getting a discount if they're assholes they can go fuck
themselves and pay full price. So it is what it is.
All right. So today what we're going to
discuss, we talked about this. I don't remember.
I know it was interesting. Oh, things, we got stuck in our
butt holes. We're talking about enemas and
it leads to this. Yeah, I asked one of our Subs or
slaves or old slaves or whatever.
Hey, yeah, hey. Have you, have you got anything
stuck in your butt hole before? I was just wondered.
And he was like, yeah, a long time ago.
And then I was like, yeah, I've got a grape stuck in my vagina
and had to call my mom and then I had a birth of grape out.
That was hard. I was scared I was going to
stand there and rot. That's not pretty fast.
You know what, It probably was a good 30 to 45 minutes, but to me
it fell forever. I was like, it's never going to
come out. It was warm when it came out of.
Course it was warm. Your body temperature probably
got real hot thinking Oh my God I'm going to get stuck in there.
Yeah, yeah, that was a mistake. I've gotten the marble stuck in
there too, but I had gotten it stuck in there.
But I had pulled out just in time, so I figured I'm going to
tie a Jelly bracelet around it and get it to stay on my fingers
and I can hold on to it. And it fell off the Jelly
bracelet and got stuck in there. I don't remember how I got that
one out, but obviously I did. Wouldn't it be funny years
later? Well, I mean I've I've pushed
out youngins so. I was going to say when you
pushed out it like one of your babies, they are holding in
their hand. Oh yeah, look.
What I found it's like a. Pearl and the Clam.
Oh, that's funny. Yeah.
Did you get everything that did anything ever?
Get something? No, no, I never did anything
like that to push anything in there.
It was gonna get stuck. Alright, just me.
Cool. Well see, I always made sure
that my dildos had handles on them.
I was young. You, you know, young people
usually stick things because I know you're referring to a very
young age. They usually stick thing in your
in their nose, which is common for kids but.
It's stuck in. Your twat.
It was a hole, too. Once I figured out that was a
hole, I was packing it full, you know?
I was like, Oh my God, it can carry my money.
There's a tower pay the ice cream man.
Well, one of my old friends had gotten a little thing with her
husband at the time. They used to make a fruit salad
out of her pussy and she would put fruit in there and he would
fucking eat it out. That was his kink.
Yeah. How did she get it out?
Well, I guess she came enough and.
Just put it on the outside and just ate it off.
Of it, no, she put it inside OK, and I guess he just went in
there and found it. Get that fruit salad that's.
What she would call it, she was like, here's your fruit salad,
baby. Here's the whipped cream.
I'm like. You know what, I I'm actually
would would do that with yogurt cause yogurt's very good for
your pH of your vagina it is and it'd probably be really hot
squishing that shit out into their mouth.
I don't know why I need the sound effect.
Sorry guys. Shooting in.
Like squeeze it look like the cream pie but it's not be
tasting better. I think the better version of
the yogurt would be like, what would it be?
Oh, just the plain yucky yogurt. Thank you.
Oh. That's what you have to use,
just a. Plain.
Yeah. You couldn't get the sugar
stuff? Yeah.
Oh goodness, both sides at the same time.
OK, so you. Can make somebody eat some
yogurt out of you, then like it's either this or you're
coming, you're going to do it. So I told you, Missus Griswold.
She OK? I'm.
Trying to remember? We'll go through.
It yes. So the Griswolds is that cute
little couple and you've played with Missus Griswold.
OK, OK, so Missus Griswold, she was playing with her husband and
another couple in the dungeon one day and they were in there
and they were having fun. And I think one guy was fucking
her while her butt plug was in. And the male friend said, hey,
Clark, we got a problem. And so they looked at Ellen and
they were like, Ellen, do you feel that?
And she's like an orgasmic mode. Like she was like, no, I don't.
I don't. I don't feel anything.
Like that noodle feeling? Yes.
So everything was numb down there.
So Needless to say, Clark went and stuck his fingers in her
vagina And the other guy, No, Clark stuck his fingers in her
asshole to fish it out and she told the other guy to push his
fingers in the vagina in the downward motion behind the butt
plug. That feeling, I don't like you
going down. Yeah, but that's interesting.
She got a butt plug stuck in there, supposed to have like a a
thing to keep it from going in all the way.
It must have been a small one. It must have been.
Well, she's got a gaper, which I've seen it, so it's not a.
Gaper. It's not a gaper, no.
Anything. It's a gripper.
You do like to call it a gripper.
That's interesting. So back to having things stuck
in your butt hole and enemas. We saw a guy take the big Doug.
We were shocked. Very much.
So we've had a lot of people take a lot of big things in
their ass. But I can say I think one of the
grossest moments is I saw Bree and she was fucking a guy with a
strap on. And then ultimately it kind of
like popped off as a little vacu lock where, you know, it's like
a plunger, you know, and it kind of just popped off because this
guy was like sucking it in deeper and deeper and it was a
big ass dildo. And so it.
It sucked it off the. Strap it, sucked it off the Vacu
lock like it would pop it off anyway.
So Bree continued to use it on him and as things progressed it
got really bad because then he decided he was going to have an
orgasm just by getting fucked in the ass and he shit at the same
time and it was like the floodgates had opened.
It was the poor Bree. Poor Bree is right.
And let me tell you, the dungeon did not.
It just did not smell fresh for about 3 days.
We could not get the smell of shit out of there.
We use vinegar, bleach, just anything imaginable.
Our job can be very difficult. I'm just kidding.
It's so easy. It could be very difficult
though at times when you're dealing with stinky asses and
dirty bubbles. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, You know they can't reach back there and clean themselves
when they literally can. Well, I told my little bitch,
and I will still say this to him, if you can touch your
balls, you can touch your asshole.
Cause your asshole's only an inch behind him.
And he was like, oh, I guess I can.
And then he didn't want to say that he could.
I'm like, shut the fuck up, wipe your ass, do an enema, you
little toad. Anyway, gross.
Yeah. So it's fun.
It is fun. It's fun.
We do love it though. The the gross part aspect is you
know, fairly I would say about 30% and the rest is fun.
You know what I think needs to happen?
So if they come in and they're not clean and they want to do an
enema or you know, they can do enema on their own because you
know, Charles was saying it's a thing in Thailand that they go
up there and do an enema with you and everything else.
I don't want to smell some of this shit before a session.
I want an enema for you. Yeah, you and I don't want to do
that. So back to something else.
You had a nice little session the other day.
Talking about guitar man. Guitar man, that's a good one
for him. He brings his guitar in.
He was a little early and I was like, hey, you can go around
back and then we see him around back and he's standing there
just playing his guitar by the pool.
Like, almost like a guy, he's holding up the boom box to get
his girl to come out. That's what it felt like when I
walked out. I'm like OK.
Hi. And then he comes, he comes in
and he's giving me all this stuff.
He got me a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day.
I've only seen this man once before and the session didn't
even end. Like it was cut off.
So it was really odd. But he got me that he got me a
book. He he wrote me a song, he wrote
me a poem, made me a Valentine's Day card.
Freaking adorable was a lot. But he also invited me to New
York. Like he was just, he really,
really likes me. He said he's going to come back.
That was the second time he's been here and he says I'm coming
back next week, so we'll see. That is so cool.
I was actually going to pull up the e-mail that he sent and he
talked. Yeah, he said he sent a song to
you. He.
Did he really did. And he said to me, he's like,
Liv is so cool and laid back. I love her spirit.
Oh. That's really sweet.
And that's sweet. Yeah.
So he used to see Dalia on occasion and then he kind of
became obsessed with Dalia. I can see that.
You can see me once you know. I don't know Dalia, but.
Yeah, I can. See him really falling really
fast for people. He reminds Dalia, reminds me of
you, you know, brunette, same kind of eyes.
You know, you have certain aspects about your your face and
your features and and how you act that are very similar.
And yeah, it's pretty interesting with him because he
was just so tight. He does.
He does have a type. So anywho, I thought it was
sweet. Yeah, then I got that ABDL
diaper leopard. Oh, you did?
Yeah. You saw that the other day.
You saw him the other day. Yeah, and he didn't bring very
much of anything. He didn't have his powder, he
didn't have his baby food, but he said he had a whole nursery
at home. I was like, we should have been
more prepared. Right.
You know, but he brought like 8 different diapers, which thank
God because there was oil involved so my hands were all
oily. So I kept messing up the sticky
parts of the diaper, which was kind of annoying.
But I was like thank God you brought your own diaper because
I messed up this one. And it was his favorite one too.
He was like, this one's my favorite and I was.
Like next time just break out the duct tape, the duct tape in
the cap. I know it feels a little bit,
yeah, industrial, but wouldn't you put duct tape on your baby's
diaper? Be like, no, I'll just switch it
off because have you ever got like?
You know. Duct tape stuck to your skin and
it stayed there for too long and get a little rash.
True, true. Yeah, I just, I wanted to make
sure that he felt comfortable that not feeling like somebody
just. Duct tape.
To his body. There's Mia's explanation of
things. Oh yeah, She said to put duct
tape on it. I got a rash later but it's OK.
Yeah, I don't need to keep powder in the room for moments
like when they forget their stuff.
So you read him a book. You know I wrote the author to
those, the one who wrote it. I can't even pronounce the name
of the person who wrote it, but it's Brenda's Barber.
No, Brenda's Beaver and it's a Barber.
Was that not fucking hilarious? Yeah, she's like, this isn't a
kids book. I said no, it's an ABDL book.
And he started laughing. Look, it is.
It was like, Oh my Lord, I'm just, it's just a, a cute little
book and it makes it fun for an adult as well.
It really is adorable. So anyone who hasn't seen it,
they should go look at it in YouTube, yeah?
YouTube, they got it voiced over.
It's really cute. Yeah, I thought about just
reading it on the podcast as well.
Don't you have to get permission?
For that, well, if I got paid and because I don't get paid on
the podcast, OK. Cool.
Thank you. Yes.
See, you're not benefiting from it, you're just reading.
A story, exactly. That's all it.
Is people read Green Eggs and Ham?
There you go, Sam. I am all right.
So again, it's been fun. Always.
I like that.
You know, we should do an episode where we talk totally
talk British the entire time. We need to have little tea cups
with our pinkies. Out we do.
We do. Yeah.
Soon. I'll probably get a little
Australian in there. That is Australian.
I know I keep always. I would venture off that way.
That's funny. Go to Sydney.
We're not going to call it British, we're just going to say
we're going to have an accent. I'll have to guess what it is.
You you haven't been to Australia yet?
Maybe one day. Yeah, I would like to go.
Yeah, Charles says he could live there.
He loves it, absolutely loves it.
It's very cool. There's a show on Netflix and
it's called Instant Hotel and it's where people actually turn
their houses into 8 Airbnb's and then they're judged on how well
they do it and it's a really cool show, I love it.
Is it in Australia? Yeah, it's based in Australia.
I didn't. Say that for you, you're just
like, yeah, yeah, Australia. Well then I watch this TV show.
Yeah. I love your transition there,
fuck. You Liv fuck you only later,
guys. Yeah, so they so there's
Australia Outback and then there's very tropical Australia
that they have and then they have the beach Australia by
Sydney. So they have several kind of
aspects of, you know, their tropical and their desert and
that kind of thing. But it's really it's very cool
it's a neat place I I'd love to go one day.
Well, let's. Plan a trip.
We can plan a trip, but you know, you haven't been to Europe
yet, so I think we can do double S Yeah, you need to go to
Europe. You need to go and experience
that. I would.
Love to I. Don't care where I go, I just
want to go, yes, you know. Well, I don't care if we go
above the Mason Dixon line. I got to finish paying off my
roof once my roof is paid off. Yeah.
Be you, me. She was.
On the road, well, I got, I got things I got to do too, but.
And the boys, too. Long because we're not young
forever. It's very true.
But we can make a three-year plan.
Yeah, Yeah, we can do that. Most definitely.
Yeah, you, me and the boys the. Men.
The men, Well, you call yours a man.
I call mine the boy. He's a little boy.
Well, Matt knows that's OK. They say goodbye.
They were like they were saying cheers to the Patriots.
Alright, so until then, this concludes an episode of.
Call me Mistress.