I'm glad he's kind of rolling with the evolution here.
It's important he doesn't. Really have a choice so.
Well, welcome to cuckoldry. Hey, you know he created the
monster 10 years ago. Hey everybody.
I just wanted to give you a quick notice.
I am starting to offer a one-on-one coaching session.
It's called Ask Crystal. It is coaching for individuals
and couples as they explore ethical non monogamy, whatever
your dynamic is. I've been living in this dynamic
for 10 ton and I hope to share some of that wisdom with you in
the hopes that it will help you. So you'll get the details in the
show notes and I hope to see you there.
Hello and good afternoon. This is Crystal Welch here and I
am super, super excited. I've been trying to get this
guest for for she's she's become a good friend and I'll tell you
quickly how we met. And then I'm gonna have her give
you her story. She's called Blonde by the Bay
and she is blonde Blonde on the Bay.
Why did I think it was by. OK, well all right.
See, see, I'm. I'm off base right, right away.
But we met social media and we started chatting and then they
don't live terribly far from us and so we thought well wouldn't
it be fun we'll just invite him down for New Year's.
We were going to go to a New Year's event and it would just
be fun to have somebody else to go with and and and so they and
so we were lucky they came down and stayed a couple days with us
and and he had a boyfriend at that time and so I'm going to
have her tell you that story but she's this drop dead gorgeous
tall statuesque blonde. Oh my.
Gosh, man, killer and and so Blondie, take it away.
OK, well, thank you, Crystal. I did have a boyfriend for about
almost five years. He was a great guy.
And then when I sort of discovered cuckolding dynamic
more, I think our our relationship changed.
He wasn't maybe ready for what my husband and I were ready for.
So New Year's be a bit of a bit of a gong show, didn't it?
Yes it did. Yeah, he, I think he got cold
feet and he, you know, when we went back to the room after the
party, which was all great, and I was ready to go, he decided to
go for a walk. Basically just left me hanging
at that point. I mean, who does that?
Here's this gorgeous blonde all get down for nude naked saying
come on baby, and he he goes for a walk.
Are you kidding me? No.
So basically our, yeah, our relationship, our, yeah, ended
that moment kind of thing. We do talk, we're on, we, you
know, I don't want to have anybody upset with me or I don't
want to be angry with anybody. So we are friendly but we don't
play. So that's one really good lesson
for all of you listeners out there.
If you are a cuck or an aspiring cuck and you have a beautiful
woman that's ready to engage, do not leave her hanging and go out
and bar hop or whatever the heck he did, Whatever it is that he
did, that is such a fatal error. So he blew it.
Man. Did he ever?
And.
He was a nice guy, but I don't. I don't get it.
I just so. Yeah.
I've evolved kind of in a different way than you have
because we've evolved more toward wanting a like more of a
Poly relationship and a longer term connection with somebody.
And you kind of, you know, after that you took a right turn and
you've kind of gone in another direction how you how you see
your dynamic now, what you have found joy in what you see in the
foreseeable future and how it's working out for you.
Oh. OK, that's a lot.
That's a. Lot.
That's a lot, yeah. That's OK.
OK. Our dynamic, well, we've
definitely moved into dynamic. We are not Stag Dixon or
anything like that. My husband doesn't have any
involvement in me connecting with the gentleman that I choose
to spend time with. He doesn't go on the sites,
things like that. I do all of our communication
because I'm the one who's playing easier on our
relationship. It's taken a lot of the stress
off of it for him and I like doing it.
I'm a communicator and I love chatting with people and getting
to know people, so it's worked out really well for us in that
terms. We do love going to events.
We go to Splash, Mocha, absolutely love it there.
We've met people really connected with couples and guys
it it's been life changing for us in in that And then I'm I've
made a much, I have a much bigger presence on social media
now. I'm dabbling in content
creating. So that's being fun and
basically, yeah, it's just all being and I'm much even.
My mum has commented that I am a very different person than I was
a few years ago. I have a much stronger
personality. I am more confident.
I mean, two years ago I would have been terrified to sit and
chat with you and you're one of my closest friends, so.
Remember, I remember asking you back then if you would, because
that's before I shut everything down and I was podcasting on a
more regular basis. And I too can say the same
thing. Just from the time that I met
you to to just wash watch you blossom like a flower.
You. I remember you were insecure.
You didn't. You didn't.
You know you were you you were questioning about your own you
know how other people would perceive you and all sorts of
things nefarious things that women get inundated with
especially as we get older and man you have come into your own
and it's so good to see because it's like literally like
blossoming like a flower to me. I've I've seen you be confident
you're friendly you you seem happy you seem you know and and
your husband is a lot like mine in that they.
I mean mine doesn't participate in any social media so if
there's any if there's he had it's up to me and I'm.
I don't spend that much time on it, but you've really picked up
the ball and and tell us about how how your husband is working
with all of this too. Is he?
Is he as blossomy as you are? I don't think as Blossomy, he's
a bit more rooted, yeah. OK, we need that.
We need that. We do, we do.
He is my my biggest supporter, my biggest fan.
He he truly is. He's he's wonderful very
supportive you know he he does make comments like well you're
you know I think you're on your phone a lot.
I'm like well I'm having fun and I'm reaching out and maybe I'll
be bringing in a little money be complete paying for these trips
we want to go on. So no he he's good he's he's
very very supportive He he prefers to take a back seat not
be in the in the limelight kind of thing.
He's you know but otherwise no we're we're really happy.
I mean, we're planning our retirement next year too.
I, and I want to hear some more details about that, but I will
say too, because we've met him, he is the most delightful man,
just thoroughly, thoroughly enjoyed spending time with both
of you and and I. We love our time with you guys.
I'm glad he's kind of rolling with the evolution here.
He doesn't really have a choice, so.
Well, welcome to cuckoldry. Hey, you know he created the
monster 10 years ago. Yeah, there you go.
Now you guys started out as swingers, right?
Yeah well Sword, we like our very first experience was a a
greedy girl party like hot wife, hot wife experience where ratio
of two to two men to every woman.
The club that we went to for the very first time and he begged me
for two years to get into this lifestyle and I was just not
having any of it And then we went there and then I was like,
OK, when we come back. That is such AI hear all the so
so so many men think about it, fantasize about it, wish their
wives would consider it, and and I'd probably get more more
communication from guys like that.
How do I get my wife to do it kind of things than any other
thing. So anyway, the person to consult
with, Probably for for those men, but I get a lot.
I get a lot of those emails. What not tell us just because it
would be informative to to that particular segment of the
audience. What do you think?
How did I mean? I'm talking about just your
communication with your husband, Catalyst that you started to
say, oh, maybe I'll consider this.
It probably had to be something that he said.
Or was it just the consistency of the asking?
Well, yeah, he literally wore me down and he he put me on Kik
Friends an app, and he put out an ad on Kik Friends with a
picture of me, I guess, and just said my wife doesn't think she's
hot. Do you want to?
Who wants to chat with her and change her mind kind of thing.
And all of a sudden I was juggling 30-40 different
conversations with men all over the.
Have you seen you? I was not a believer.
Well, you better be now, girlfriend, 'cause I told you, I
told you, I told you. So, yeah, I, you know, like I
said earlier, I'm a communicator.
I love to talk to people. And so that's how it started for
basically from 2014 until we went to the party in September,
I was just juggling all these conversations and talking to all
these guys all over the world. You know, I got into sending
nudes. There's pictures of me all over
the world and the Internet, it's you, you know, it just is what
it is now. And yeah, I was like, after
talking to all these guys, like, oh, you should do it, You should
go, You're so pretty and blah, blah, blah.
So I'm like, OK, I'll go, we'll go because I can prove you
wrong, that nobody's going to want me.
Man, And then she And then she unleashed the Kraken, and the
world has never been the same. That's for damn.
Sure, that's for sure. And your husband goes, man, I
did not know I was gonna grade all of that.
No. He did not know what he was in
for. So here's another really
interesting aspect I think of the relationship that you have
with with your family and stuff. You're pretty your lifestyle
more than I think more than almost anybody that I know.
We we're not out to our our closest like personal non
lifestyle friends here in in my city.
It's just a very very few people it's it's really only our
lifestyle friends that kind of know what we're up to.
So tell that how that how you made that decision.
Have you had any pushback how you how you've been juggling
just being out a cuckold couple or a swinger couple or a
consensually non monogamous couple of any type to be have
have enough confidence to be out to your friends and your family?
I I think the driving force for me was I I I hate secrets and I
hate lying and getting caught up in who we told what to and what
story was, did we tell the kids. And it was just too much.
I couldn't take it and I wasn't ashamed of what I was doing.
I was proud. So I think the we told was my
mum and that was in 2015, right? Within a year of us getting into
the lifestyle. And we just told her that we
were swingers and that's pretty much what everybody thinks.
We don't really have vanilla friends.
If we any vanilla friends that we do have, they know about our
our, our lifestyle. Anybody who's given us pushback
or we, I think we've only lost two or three people in our lives
who are friends. And I don't want to be friends
with people who are judgy anyway.
I'm not a judgmental person and I don't want people like that in
my life. Everything and everybody.
And we've raised our kids that way too.
And we we have come out to the kids.
That just happened in September. And it was interesting because
we went back to Atlanta in March just recently.
And last year when we went to Atlanta, we told the kids that
we had needed to use. So we thought we'd go somewhere.
We're never going to go again. And so this March rolled around
and we're just like, oh, well, we're going on vacation.
Where are you going? Atlanta what?
Where are you going back to Atlanta for?
And I said, well, you know, it's kind of like a reunion
convention. And they're just, that's it.
We don't need to know anymore. Go have fun, yeah.
It's the covering up, the lie thing that starts right there
and you gotta you gotta unravel it and then keep unraveling it.
But now I don't have to tell lies anymore.
You. Know we don't.
We're we don't put it in their face like we're we're going down
to Seattle for a party next weekend and the kids just think
you know we're shopping. They don't need to know that
we're going to a game Bay. You know once you know, somebody
said to me once you once you know something you cannot unknow
it. Yeah, And my daughter, my
daughter has said, you know, mom, sometimes I wish we did
have secrets in our family. And I said, I know it's
uncomfortable, but we don't have secrets and that's what makes
our family so strong. Well and I, we just admire you
so much and I think I think that's the defining line between
being open and honest and and protecting other people from
stuff that would possibly hurt them.
You've that's what I have you know that was my position when I
said I'm not going to talk to our friends.
You know like my ex business partner and people that we have.
You know, we have long established friendships with
here that would be mortified, I think, if they if they knew what
we did in our private life, what it does to people that don't
need to know, it burdens them. It's a burden for them.
That's right, because then they have to think, well, should I
treat them differently? Do I?
You know, and I don't want to risk the the few really close
friendships that we have because there's no need for them to
know. There's no need for it.
That's kind of how we cut the
defining line is it's it's not a need to know.
If they ask us, we're gonna tell them the truth.
Yeah, well, that's me too, if you ask me.
You know, yeah, I'm such a I'm such a ridiculous, open book
that if you just ask me how my day was, I'm probably gonna
pepper it with lifestyle stuff, it's.
Just 'cause that's what you're doing during the day.
And I have no filter, so I just say what comes into my mind is
sometimes the thinking about it. And all of our friends know
about our lifestyle. I think it's it's really
admirable and I just admire you so much and to to see this
journey in such a short period of time, years where you were
kind of this shy, I don't know about anything thing to like.
I am here, I am out and I am proud.
I mean, it's. I'm proud of you.
I'm really proud of you. Really proud.
Of you. Yeah, really proud of you.
So tell us about your your retirement plans, what you're
planning to do. I think they should know about
your anniversary party. OK, well, we'll start with the
anniversary party. Yes, we are hosting a party in
Las Vegas, invite only unfortunately.
Sorry everybody, but I have invited to join us and we've
rented a house with a big grotto cave and we'll be having a vow
renewal because it's our 30th anniversary and so we'll have
little mock vowel renewal and then I will fuck all the guys
except for him, my husband I. Love that.
I know. I love it too.
I mean, it's the best of both worlds really.
It is. Win, win, win for me.
That's right. And This is why we say, you
know, for for women who embrace this lifestyle, it is in fact
the cake and eat it too lifestyle, you know?
And Blondie is showing us exactly how, how That's so, so
much fun. And then now tell us about what
you, what you guys are talking about when you're you're
retiring, You know, like a year or something.
Yeah. Probably you'll be we'll be
selling the house this time next year we hope, and living full
time in our truck and camper. We'll be upgrading that, but
going all over North America and Canada and United States,
visiting lifestyle friends, going to events.
Things like that. Just having fun and then we'll
use my parents property in BC here as a home base and see the
kids and and stuff. But really, for the next,
hopefully we'll be out and about traveling around.
Boy, boy, I'm going to want to talk to you through that journey
too, because you will. That's that's amazing.
That's amazing that you're that you're dedicated enough to the
lifestyle that you're gonna say this is what we enjoy, This is
what we wanna do. We have the means to do it and
we're going for what we love. And good, good for you.
Good for you. That's really, that's fun.
You you are just a you are a bucket of fun all the way
around. That's all I know.
For real sure. You know, yes you do.
So what would you someone brand new trying to get into the
lifestyle, or maybe dipping their toe in and not quite sure
how to navigate? How would you how would you
advise them to proceed a so they don't damage their primary and B
that you can enter into a whole other realm that neither person
really knows about? How how would you advise them to
walk into that? Well, I would definitely say
open communication between you and your partner is critical.
I've seen couples who are new passion burn because they aren't
communicating. When one of them catches
feelings for somebody, it happens.
We get crushes on people and start being secretive and you
know it's a marriage destroyer. If you can't communicate with
each other and be completely and totally honest, the lifestyle
isn't there to make a a rocky marriage better.
It's not going to. It'll find all the flaws.
So really be secure. Really know that you have a
solid marriage and only do you feel comfortable doing.
Don't try and push the envelope. Don't try and Oh well, this is
what she's doing. I should be doing that.
No, you shouldn't. You should be doing exactly what
you were doing. Only what you're doing and you
know as long as you're both having fun and you're not
hurting each other or hurting anybody else, then you're not
doing it. There isn't.
The only wrong way to do it is to be causing hurt and pain that
isn't wanted. You're right, right.
Well, that is that is a lot of really solid advice right there.
And I said I said much the same along the way.
So let me let me throw this at you.
Let's say that some weird thing happened and all of a sudden
your husband would say, you know what, I'm not sure I want to do
this anymore. Or what happens if you said that
I I'm not sure I want to do this anymore.
How would you guys navigate that?
Well, you know, I think I kind of always some sort of a role in
the lifestyle. I don't see my my life ever
being vanilla. If I get tired or too old or I
get sick, I mean, who knows? God knows what happens.
In the future, right? If something happens, something
unforeseen that made me have to take a step back, whether it be
or my my choice, I think I would try and keep myself in the
community as some sort of a like.
I love mentoring new couples, I love doing that being a support
and mentoring and thing. I think I would see myself in,
in that kind of a role. Cool.
Just so that I can in the community in a as in an active
way, without necessarily playing maybe any more.
I don't know. I I don't see my, I don't see
the lifestyle being something that I could walk away from.
Well, I think you and I have that shared experience.
The friends that we've met in this lifestyle, I mean they
literally they feel like they're ride or die.
I mean more than like high high school friends.
More than you know, people that you've known for 20-30 years to
have this shared lifestyle experience and to form
association from some of the men that you might have connections
with to the couples. I mean, the couples are just are
just golden. They're just golden.
Just I I never expected the couple connection like I didn't.
I I always kind of figured it was.
I figured if we had left, we weren't going to make couple
friends anymore. I was very wrong.
It was. Very wrong.
And yeah, we have made a couple, a couple friends like you and
Richard. And we have friends in LA, We
have friends in Florida. We have friends in Chicago.
We have friends in Texas. We have like I talked to women
all over America and and my husband talks to other husbands
and yeah, when we go to events it is like a big reunion.
It's so much fun. It is.
It is just like that. And it's, you know, as you get.
And I've particularly been dealing with this too, as I have
retired from my core business, the business world anymore.
And I'm not doing a lot of the things that kept me around my my
tribe, especially when you retire.
So how you acquire friends after that stage of life becomes
really important and really critical.
And not very many people have an Ave. to it.
So, you know, I've been to Splash twice and in both
occasions, you know, I met one person that was delightful.
But really, the joy I got out of going to Splash was the reunion
with the couples meetings, meeting some of those couples
for the first time and then reunion.
You know, on the second time that we met it, it just was
absolutely the most joyful, joyful, smart, fun, funny group
of people. I mean, the sex is great, but
it's the connecting with the other couples that feeds your
soul for the rest of the year. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
And it's that's. What we live off of.
That. That.
No, you're you're 100% right, because the sex lasts.
Well, however, it does. These connections and these
friendships, and yeah, those are those are what really keep us,
keep us going, keep us going back.
Yes, that's right. And when something comes up,
you've got, you know, you've got sort of a built in tribe.
So anyway, you're a big advocate, as are we, And I'm so,
so thankful that with us today to share some of your story.
How would how would our listeners get in touch with you
if they wanted to communicate with you or find your stuff or
locate you some kind of way? How would you advise well?
I am blonde on the Bay pretty much everywhere.
Ex. That life.
I'm active. If then I am any of the other
sites, I just don't have a lot of luck on the other side.
So I don't bother. Fetlife Blonde on the Bay.
Ex Blonde on the Bay. You can e-mail me Blonde on the
bay@gmail.com. I'm pretty good at responding.
Oh, I'm on Sex to Panther. But that's.
So I love the name though. It's hilarious.
It is. It is.
It's kind of a strange. It's kind of a strange platform,
but I'm very responsive and I will always answer a polite and
kind message. I am a kind person and I expect
to be with respect and kindness. Good point.
Don't send me a Dick pic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. None of us.
None of us like that. So just stop it.
Just stop it. Thank you.
Don't try to convert me back to right.
It's not going to happen. Right, right.
Thank you so, so, so much, Blondie.
It was just a pleasure to talk with you as always and I really
look forward to your visit when you come floating through our
part of the world. Yeah.
We'll see you in a couple months.
We'll have as much fun as we can possibly cram into that time.
That's a lot of fun. It is OK.
Bye.