1 00:00:11,510 --> 00:00:14,470 Hey everybody, I just wanted to give you a quick notice. 2 00:00:14,910 --> 00:00:18,150 I am starting to offer a one-on-one coaching session. 3 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:22,950 It's called Ask Crystal. It is coaching for individuals 4 00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:26,470 and couples as they explore ethical non monogamy. 5 00:00:26,470 --> 00:00:30,110 Whatever your dynamic is. I've been living in this dynamic 6 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:33,590 for 10 years and I've learned a ton and I hope to share some of 7 00:00:33,590 --> 00:00:35,870 that wisdom with you in the hopes that it will help you. 8 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,680 So you'll get the details in the show notes and I hope to see you 9 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,920 there. Afternoon crystal well chair 10 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,960 with my lovely Co podcaster cuckolders Anne. 11 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,600 And today we have the privilege of speaking with we're going to 12 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:56,880 chop it up with a handsome black man that goes by the name 7 and 13 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,960 he has his own podcast called hot wife confessions. 14 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,600 You'll you'll be able to hear from him later and how to 15 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,920 contact him at the tail end here. 16 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,000 So you want to you want to hang on. 17 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,480 He is really cute. I'm saying that right now. 18 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:18,400 So all right, see, we got two votes on 7 is super cute. 19 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:26,520 So, so he contacted me because I am a writer primarily, and I've 20 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:31,520 only turned one of my blog posts into a podcast and it was called 21 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,320 The Allure of the Black Man. And it was a description about 22 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:41,360 how and why I am black. Only my, you know, my husband is 23 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:45,520 a lovely white man, but my lovers are all black by design 24 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:50,520 and by preference. And so 7, I guess was intrigued. 25 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:55,280 He reached out to me and said that he had some thoughts on 26 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,080 that topic. So that's what we're going to be 27 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:01,320 talking about today. I'm excited for this because 28 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,720 Anne and I have talked quite a bit about both of us having a 29 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:10,680 preference for black men and it's mystifying to a lot of 30 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,280 people. I mean, I get a lot of blowback 31 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:17,560 from followers that say, hey, if you're so crazy about black men, 32 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,440 why didn't you marry one? I mean, they're like the pissed 33 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:25,840 off white man thing and I then I have to monitor myself to not 34 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:30,440 pissed off back at them like God, but it's it's really 35 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,040 common. I get a lot of that. 36 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,080 You know, if you if you're so crazy about black men, why don't 37 00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:39,080 you just marry one? OK, so anyway, that being what 38 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:44,160 it is, I'm anxious to talk to seven today because it's great 39 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:48,160 to have a black man join us and share his perspective. 40 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:52,920 I assume that he intermingles with white women. 41 00:02:52,920 --> 00:02:56,960 And so I think we've got a good conversation to have today. 42 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,240 So anyway, welcome 7. I'm glad you're here. 43 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,000 Go ahead and say hello to everyone. 44 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,680 Thank you so much for having me Cheryl, and hello to your 45 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,240 listeners. Happy to be here. 46 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,960 And Anne, of course we you got to say hey to everybody. 47 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,560 Hey everyone, happy to be here and looking forward to getting 48 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:22,680 to know 7 and his thoughts on our favorite subject, our 49 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:27,160 fascination. I know our our fetish, our 50 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:28,840 preference, our. I've been going through. 51 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,600 This. I've been going through this 52 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:36,480 thesaurus and so many words. Sometimes words just mess it up. 53 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,760 Let's just everybody has their own description, yeah? 54 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,800 Yeah, that's, that's right. I was just saying to them that, 55 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,480 you know, I wrote the the Allure of the Black Man, that blog post 56 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,160 a couple several years ago. And I've gotten, I've gotten 57 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,440 some good feedback on it, but I've also gotten a lot of 58 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:58,360 blowback from white men who say, you know, that we're angry about 59 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,080 it, saying if you're so crazy about black men, why didn't you 60 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:05,600 marry 1? And so I have said several times 61 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,080 and in a number of the things that I've written and podcasted 62 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:12,080 about, my first love was a black man. 63 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,720 And I was fully immersed in black culture my entire college 64 00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:19,480 tenure. And I was changed forever. 65 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:24,680 One of the reasons is it was just a delightful group of 66 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:32,200 people, but I also came from a solidly racist set of parents, 67 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:35,960 really racist, like southern Arkansas racist. 68 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:41,080 And so when I went to college and was exposed to people of 69 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,520 other cultures and other races, it was eye opening for me. 70 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,000 And then I went full immersion. And so, so my experience is a 71 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,840 little bit different than everybody's, but that's how I 72 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:57,040 arrived at that. And then I have sadly lived in 73 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,600 many areas that are not terribly diverse. 74 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:07,400 So it's it's been tougher. So 7, would you share with us 75 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:10,800 what is it that you saw in that article that caught your 76 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:14,960 attention and made you want to share your perspective on it? 77 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:23,240 Well, initially it was the fact that you have a preference for 78 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,000 black men but you married a white guy. 79 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:31,640 It made me wonder just to myself, how is it that so many 80 00:05:32,280 --> 00:05:37,760 married white women are attracted to black men? 81 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:42,000 When you go to these events, it's mostly white couples and 82 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,520 single black men. So I was like, there's something 83 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,120 there. There is definitely something 84 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,120 there that caught. That's what caught my attention 85 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:51,840 to it. That you were married already. 86 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:57,880 You know, you chose to. I remember you saying you you 87 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:04,120 dated black in college, but then you turned around when you 88 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,960 decided you wanted a serious relationship. 89 00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,280 You put an ad in and for a cook and it wasn't a black guy. 90 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:16,240 So and then the other part of it that got my attention was the 91 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:21,960 difference between whether it's a fetish or preference. 92 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,440 And that's the thing that stood out to me the most. 93 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,560 It started making me like, think back to my relationships, you 94 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:36,480 know, hey, am I just a fetish to them, You know, but I don't 95 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:39,400 think I'm a fetish. I think it's preference. 96 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,320 I really do. I think it's preference. 97 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,920 Why did I marry a white man when I'm so attracted to black men? 98 00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:50,920 As I mentioned, I have lived in areas I lived in. 99 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,920 I I went to College in Colorado and only in college was it very 100 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,720 diverse. The minute I got out of college, 101 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:02,360 you know it's 8090% white Ville where I've lived. 102 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,240 So that's one issue. I have not lived in areas that 103 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:11,800 were diverse except in college. A second thing is the criteria 104 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:18,080 by which I would select A husband is different and remain 105 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,360 is different than the criteria for a lover. 106 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,600 The bar is not nearly as high for a lover. 107 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,640 It, you know, you have to hit some basic characteristics, 108 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:35,280 personality, the way I feel when I'm with you, easy to 109 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:40,400 communicate, have have some brains and some ability to 110 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:44,640 connect. But the qualifications for a 111 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,640 husband are way different. Yeah, you're right. 112 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,160 And it's not the same. It's not the same. 113 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:56,360 And so I, you know, I was married before and got divorced 114 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:01,600 and, and then I've was single for a very long time and never 115 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,800 thought I would marry again. I didn't want to marry again. 116 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,800 And so I put this ad in advertising for a cut because I 117 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:10,240 thought, well, you know, I'd like to have a companion and a 118 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,720 lover. And, you know, and frankly, I 119 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,160 don't care what race he is. I'd like to have a companion and 120 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,840 a lover, but I think he should be a cuckold male because based 121 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:23,000 on my prior marriage, I'm never going to be monogamous again. 122 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,840 And he's got to know that right up front. 123 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:31,160 And I would feel more confident and more secure if he's a cuck. 124 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:33,640 So he's going to be loyal to me and I'm not ever going to be 125 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:35,080 loyal. And I thought that was a fair 126 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:38,200 deal. So that's, that's how that all 127 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,520 came about. And what is your? 128 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:46,120 Why are you black only? I married James, you know, we've 129 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:52,640 been married 37 years. And so I really wasn't the 130 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,680 community that I grew up in the high school there were there was 131 00:08:55,760 --> 00:09:00,440 like 1 black boy in my class and I just wasn't exposed to a lot 132 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:06,640 of, you know, black kids. And so it never occurred to me 133 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,680 to develop this strong desire because I wasn't exposed to 134 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:17,000 black males in my kind of dating years. 135 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,520 And so, you know, I met James at work and we just hit it off. 136 00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:23,440 But we started swinging early on. 137 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:28,800 And it was meeting my first black gentleman as a lover in 138 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:36,080 that space that made me realize that these men are better, 139 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:40,880 stronger lovers than the white men in the swinging space. 140 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:45,000 So and these men came in and there were in a lot of them 141 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,720 because I'm in an area where it is not as diverse, similar to 142 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:54,720 crystal. But once I once James swinging 143 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,080 got predictably boring, I started seeking single men. 144 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,440 I just sought out black men because that was the energy that 145 00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:07,800 I was benefiting the most from their bravado, their skill. 146 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,160 A lot of the things Grace that you describe in your writing is 147 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,840 exactly the draw that I have. Is it? 148 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,520 I don't. Is it a fetish? 149 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,400 You know, it's definitely a preference. 150 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,960 It's what I want. It's what I'm attracted to. 151 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:28,200 If something happened to James and I were to get back out on 152 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,400 the dating scene, I would seek a black man. 153 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,800 I would not seek a white man, but I would want to be in an 154 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,760 open relationship similar to what you have. 7 You have a 155 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:42,320 white, a white partner, and it works well for you. 156 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,520 You have an open relationship and you can do and each enjoy 157 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,720 your sexual dynamic. You know your sexual 158 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:53,640 preferences, but you know in the reverse 7 how it's what is the 159 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,760 draw for black men to white women? 160 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:57,880 What's that draw? Yeah. 161 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:02,880 That's a good question. It there's a difference, there's 162 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:07,800 a difference for me because it's not just white women, it's 163 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,560 married white women. Right. 164 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,520 That's that's my difference 'cause I only play with hot 165 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:17,320 wives. So for there's two things that 166 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,480 have turned me off to just regular dating. 167 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:29,360 It is the vanilla mindset that people bring into the lifestyle 168 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:35,240 and it's the selfishness. I don't think that I'm like 169 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,800 intentionally directed towards white women. 170 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,800 I am because I'm directed towards hot wives. 171 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:45,360 I'm directed towards married women and there aren't a lot of 172 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,360 black married women out there that are playing in the field 173 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,440 that I'm at. So it's not so much the 174 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:56,120 difference between black and white, it's the difference for 175 00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:02,600 me as being married and single. And again, there aren't a lot of 176 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:10,160 black hot wives out there that are playing, so my my play field 177 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,040 is married white women. So that I find that really 178 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,960 interesting. What is the draw to married 179 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:21,200 white women specifically? Because it can't become, you 180 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,040 know, too deep of an involvement. 181 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,240 Is that the reason? I've I've got, I've got long 182 00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:29,240 lasting relationships. I've had a relationship with hot 183 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,200 wives that have lasted five years. 184 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:36,600 I've had some that have lasted four months, some a year or two. 185 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,680 So I'm, I look at it for longevity. 186 00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:45,360 I'm, I like the fact that I can play with you as a married woman 187 00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:50,960 and then we can both go home without there being any problems 188 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,000 about who I'm seeing and about who you're seeing. 189 00:12:55,320 --> 00:12:59,760 That's the biggest draw for me, and it just happens to be 190 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:00,960 they're all white. Yeah. 191 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:02,840 Right, very practical. Yeah. 192 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,920 And I think that's that's probably true for a lot of 193 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:09,200 people in the lifestyle that it's you know, that's our hope 194 00:13:09,720 --> 00:13:13,880 that we find. You know, I found for me, I 195 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:19,160 found even difficulty because aid we aren't in a diverse area, 196 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:24,680 but I also want to connect. So the swinger party hump and 197 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,960 jump thing doesn't work for me, right? 198 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:32,280 And so I've got to find that particular black man that's not 199 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:38,280 afraid to connect and not afraid to invest some of his time and 200 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,680 actually and actually have a friendship that's like, that's 201 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,120 like almost the impossible dream really. 202 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,640 And it makes me sad, but it's the way it is. 203 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,600 It I would say because that's what I look for, that's my 204 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,880 dynamic. I'm not a transactional person. 205 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,840 Even though we will go to a house party with couples that 206 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,960 are regular swinging, swapping, full or soft, whatever. 207 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,360 I don't do that. I will go and have more 208 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:09,000 conversations because I don't want to sit here and have a 2 209 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:12,080 hour conversation with you and then find out that you know one 210 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:14,240 of you don't want to play. Oh, right. 211 00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,200 So it's easier to go find a Yeah, it's easier to go find a 212 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:21,960 hot wife and let's have a conversation. 213 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,160 Let me meet your husband and then we can play. 214 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:29,360 But we've made more of a connection instead of that, like 215 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,040 you said, just hump and dump things. 216 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,840 I find that with with married women also. 217 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:40,400 You want a conversation. Married women want to date 218 00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:44,960 sapiosexual. You're mostly sapiosexual. 219 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,320 Yep, a lot of single women are not. 220 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,160 And why do what? Why? 221 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:51,680 Why do you think that is? I'm interested in why you think 222 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:54,880 that is, because Anne and I don't date single women either, 223 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:56,840 so we don't know. Yeah, no. 224 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:00,880 Well, and this is I, I've, I've stopped dating single women 225 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:05,040 because because of that, you want a conversation. 226 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:09,080 I'm cool with sitting down having a 2 hour conversation 227 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,200 with you without the sex part because I'm stimulating you 228 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:13,840 mentally. Yeah, and. 229 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,400 You're OK with that? Where a single woman, they're 230 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:21,280 like, no, no, no, give me the D give me the D what you got, you 231 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:26,160 know, And to me as a guy, that's the difference. 232 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,480 Yeah, see, I wait until you stimulate my mind and then I say 233 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:34,000 give me the D It has to go in that order. 234 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,960 Well, they again have wives, married women. 235 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,160 Oh, I get it. Yeah. 236 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:42,160 That's helpful. Thank you. 237 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,880 That's interesting. I've I've not had the chance to 238 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:50,920 ask a black man how that works for them and and what what works 239 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,600 about it. And that's so that's really 240 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,440 helpful. Thank you. 241 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:58,520 So when you're in the splash environment, are you hoping to 242 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:03,920 meet up with women that you have connected with in years prior? 243 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,760 Like what is the draw for Splash? 244 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,800 Because you know there's chances you're going to connect with 245 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,200 people and you won't see them again, right? 246 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:20,080 Let's say, let's take Houston, I connected with probably 7 247 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:26,560 couples and I am in touch with six of them now and they're 248 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:30,440 looking forward to seeing me either in Orlando or in Atlanta. 249 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:35,480 I, I, the difference for me is I look for the connection. 250 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,760 I, I go in looking for a call back. 251 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,480 Good example. I, there's a had to. 252 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,400 I had the greatest experiences flash because I met AI met a 253 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,920 couple. The wife actually hit on me and 254 00:16:52,920 --> 00:16:57,120 I made sure the husband was cool like because they invited me up 255 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:01,520 to the room when I got there. We had the greatest time, 256 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,720 Absolutely the greatest time. It ended up with the husband 257 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:09,319 sitting at the edge of the bed, like rubbing her feet and it was 258 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:13,079 really cool. We finished and he's, he 259 00:17:13,079 --> 00:17:18,800 whispered door prize and I'm thinking door prize. 260 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:23,240 And she says yeah. And he gets up and he goes over 261 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,880 to the cabinet and he comes out and he hands me a door prize and 262 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,600 he says I've only, she's played with 10 guys and you're only the 263 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,360 third one to get one. And I thought for me it was cool 264 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:42,000 that she enjoyed the experience enough that I got a door prize. 265 00:17:42,120 --> 00:17:44,520 So that's what I go in for. I don't go in looking for a door 266 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:48,320 prize every time, but that was really cool that I got the door 267 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,640 prize. That's the thing about Splash 268 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:55,400 that I, I only try to get together with people that I have 269 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:57,760 connected with or connected ahead of time. 270 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:01,920 And most of us, we, we still stay in touch, which is great, 271 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,320 but you know, distance and all of that. 272 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,680 So that's frustrating. But what I do find is I talked 273 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:12,040 to someone he said, you know, and I had played with him twice 274 00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:15,440 when I met him that particular weekend, he didn't wasn't there 275 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:19,200 like this last two. And he said he rarely has two 276 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,360 encounters with someone. You know, it has to be the right 277 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:25,160 chemistry where they want that drawback. 278 00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,080 One person that I was hoping to get together with twice, 2 of 279 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:33,120 different people, they've since been in contact with me to get 280 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:36,320 together in the future. If you know, our paths cross. 281 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:39,920 So that's good, you know, but I didn't, you know, I don't have 282 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,840 number, you know, 10 is a lot like I think I saw six men. 283 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:50,320 I was on elevator Guy. Yeah, this guy, he said he 284 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,360 played with 15. I'm like 2. 285 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:54,760 It's only Friday. What do you mean? 286 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:59,360 You know, I go into it though looking for a call back. 287 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,640 I won't. I'm and I'm I'm just different 288 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,840 because I won't play with you if I don't think I want to play 289 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:10,120 with you again. That is exactly how I show up in 290 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:11,840 Seven. Where have you been all my life, 291 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:14,920 right? And that's what I want to know. 292 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,560 I've been on the road. Like right where have you been? 293 00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,680 Like where were? I know you look familiar. 294 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,400 I think you look familiar. You. 295 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,640 You. Yeah, I I'm sure I haven't met 296 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:30,520 you, but you have described yourself in exactly, exactly the 297 00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,960 thing that I have found impossible to find. 298 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:38,760 My experience more often is characterized by you're lucky 299 00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,920 to, you know, most of them just don't want to have connection. 300 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,040 Not really. Yeah, they, a lot of them, they 301 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,640 want to, they want to do the numbers. 302 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,640 That's what's exciting to them. And so I'm not the right person. 303 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,200 I'm not the right person for that. 304 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:57,000 And it's just you won't. Find a lot, you really won't. 305 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,360 You will, you will find and we're guys. 306 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,400 Most of us are going just to say, oh, I got to hit her and I 307 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,560 got to hit her and it's the same mentality and you got to 308 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:12,200 understand it as single women. Yeah, no, I get it, you know. 309 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,120 And. It's not like we haven't been 310 00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,760 looking for 10 solid years. We have. 311 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:23,920 But I I'd like to get both of your opinions on what you feel 312 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,920 is the difference between having a fetish and having a 313 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:33,240 preference. For me, a preference is it, it 314 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:37,400 encompasses the whole person, it's personality, it's their 315 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:40,320 traits, their interests, their physical appearance, their 316 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,000 cultural background, their ability to talk and communicate 317 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,960 and stimulate my mind. It's, it's a person that I would 318 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,600 be interested in whether no matter what color they were, 319 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,040 that's, that's a preference for me. 320 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,440 A fetish carves out that one thing. 321 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,360 And this is just my definition it, it carves out that one 322 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,240 thing. Oh, he's black, so he's 323 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,840 automatically cool and he's automatically a fit. 324 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,520 I have some black friends who have been fetishized before and 325 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,840 it's painful. You know, they feel like they've 326 00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:15,000 been used. They feel like they're just, you 327 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:20,680 know, used to fill fantasies for women or couples who, you know, 328 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,520 maybe saw interracial porn or something and they want to 329 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,320 recreate that. It's, it's not really 330 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:31,200 considering the whole person. It is, it is using people based 331 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,800 on an idea that you have in your mind. 332 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,400 To me, that's the difference between a preference and A and A 333 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,200 and a fetish. There is a difference between 334 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,280 for me, for fetishes and preferences. 335 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,880 My preference is always going to be married women. 336 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:51,640 I can't say that I make that many exceptions, but when it 337 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:58,040 comes to a fetish, I'd like to make sure that it's done with my 338 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:00,080 preferences. Right. 339 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,080 See, that way we both win. I I do have fetishes. 340 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:09,680 I like water sports, but I can't pull that off with everyone I 341 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:13,320 like. I'd like the concept of a cup 342 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,840 being there because I have certain ideas that are in my 343 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:23,880 head, which is a fetish. But I'm fair about my step. 344 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:27,160 I let him know, hey, how do you feel about doing this? 345 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,840 Cause I've always wanted to do this. 346 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:34,760 This is a fetish for me, but I'm I do it with the people I'm I 347 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:40,360 have a preference for. So, yeah, that again, I think 348 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:45,920 having a specific interest in a thing, you know, can be a 349 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,560 fetish. I think it's when people are 350 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:52,600 fetishized like, like, like somebody's compelled to be with 351 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,080 you specifically because you're black and they don't care 352 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,560 anything else about what you got or what you have to offer or 353 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,160 what you have to say. I think that's, you know, the 354 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:05,240 the the black people that I've that I know that have talked 355 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,080 about being fetishized it it's, it's an unpleasant experience 356 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:12,280 and they don't want to be used like that in the same. 357 00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:17,960 Unless you're able to balance the scale. 358 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:23,040 I had a couple that I played with and I already knew I'm 359 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,680 playing with them because I'm black. 360 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,080 I already knew that I got that part like, because he used to 361 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,320 say, man, I really just want to see my wife with a black guy. 362 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,120 Yeah. And. 363 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,640 There you go. You know, I just want to see 364 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:34,200 you. Yeah. 365 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,320 And I got it. I I completely understood. 366 00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,200 But the difference for me is OK. I need to win in this too, 367 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,880 though. All right? 368 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,800 I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let you be pleased 369 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,120 with what you're doing over there. 370 00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,880 But I need to also have. Fun. 371 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:54,280 Right, So are you OK? And, and this is how I have the 372 00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:58,280 I have a conversation with the couples that I play with the 373 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,800 husband prior to playing with her. 374 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,440 And if it's a repeat, I usually talk to him that week and say, 375 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:08,040 Hey, I know you got some hot shit you want to do, but are you 376 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:11,280 cool with me doing this too? So that way we both win. 377 00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:12,440 Right, that's right. That's. 378 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:16,800 Very mature and thoughtful, I like that. 379 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,440 I think that's a key thing though, is to identify what your 380 00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,000 interest is and, and it's consensual to everybody 381 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,600 concerned. Then it's, you know, it's good. 382 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,240 It's when people are just using other people selfishly. 383 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,400 I think it's really where that thing breaks down. 384 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:38,760 But I think if if you are in that situation and it's new, you 385 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,760 have every right like you said that this is what you want. 386 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:44,800 But I want this. So we it needs to be balanced. 387 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:51,040 It needs to be even. And I think you don't know what 388 00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:53,000 you don't know. And I think sometimes you get in 389 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,440 a situation and on the fly, you don't you can't think of those 390 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,160 questions. But after it's like, why didn't 391 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,880 I do this? Like why didn't I ask that 392 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,480 question? But you hate for people to be 393 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:09,160 used. And I, you know, a fetish is a 394 00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:11,040 preference. You know, you're you have a 395 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:12,800 desire. I'm just looking at the 396 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,680 thesaurus. I mean, it's that you're biased. 397 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,760 I'm biased toward blacksmith. That's what I want. 398 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,240 But I don't fetishize it. You know, it's very deep. 399 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:28,520 It's a deeper desire as a lover. And James knows that. 400 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:34,240 And it like like Bitchard, you know, he he would never, I would 401 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:39,360 never see myself with a white man in his lifetime or ever in 402 00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:43,640 the future. And I think if I did have a 403 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:49,320 white lover or white bull, I don't, I know I wouldn't. 404 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,360 I think that would just, he would not enjoy that because it 405 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:56,960 would, you know, it would just be totally opposite of anything 406 00:25:56,960 --> 00:26:00,800 I believe in so. Yeah, that's exactly what 407 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,320 Richard has said. He's just like, EW, he's a white 408 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:04,520 guy. Why would you like? 409 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,520 I when I was having difficulty finding a black lover, I did 410 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,560 meet someone from the Netherlands. 411 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,760 And because he was, you know, European, I thought, well, OK, 412 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,400 he's interesting, he's different. 413 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,680 But it was. At least he has an accent, 414 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,360 right? He had and he's just. 415 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:24,960 Something different, something different. 416 00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:26,200 Right. Yeah. 417 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:31,040 One of the things that's most compelling to me is contrast. 418 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:39,440 I love the idea of black and white, of tall and short, of, 419 00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:44,360 you know, assertive and submissive. 420 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:52,160 I love the experience of desire that gives fuel to contrast. 421 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,560 And that is the thing that's the really the most compelling to 422 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,800 me. I want you to be different than 423 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,720 me. I'm like super light. 424 00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:05,520 I like super dark. And you know, I'm, I'm really 425 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:08,000 short. I like tall men, you know, and 426 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,160 it's it, it, it carries right through, you know, that 427 00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:13,560 contrast. There's something about contrast 428 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:18,880 that fuels desire for me. And, and my husband gets it. 429 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:23,000 He gets it to the point where he, he can't imagine that I 430 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,480 could ever be with another white man. 431 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:26,720 And he's and he's, I'm sure he's right. 432 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:28,840 So what about lighter skinned black men? 433 00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:33,560 Yeah, well, pretty. Much you know, there's also, 434 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:38,080 it's not just the color of skin. There are some from my 435 00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,560 perspective, there are some just cultural differences. 436 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:48,560 To me, black men tend to be more confident. 437 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:53,600 They tend to be self assured. They tend to be very good 438 00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,120 flirts. I mean, these, these are some 439 00:27:56,120 --> 00:28:00,320 skills that I'm sorry to say that a lot of white men have 440 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:04,600 lost along the way. And I, I don't know if this is 441 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:10,600 due to more women becoming more successful financially and more 442 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,800 independent that way. You know, they, I, I think 443 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,960 that's, that's definitely a trend that's happened. 444 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,160 Women expect more from men these days. 445 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:24,120 And I think that there's just a lot of white men that that has 446 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:29,880 been very threatening to. And I just don't find that black 447 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,000 men are fazed by that. They, they know they're cool, 448 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,800 they know they're hot, you know, they're self assured. 449 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:42,760 And that is just like catnip to me and to most women I know. 450 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,920 I I found that out by by accident. 451 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:52,000 Everything that you just said, the, the confidence, I, I've 452 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:56,920 always had it the, and when I met my wife, she's oh, you're 453 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,680 such a smooth talker. I'm like, no, this is just me. 454 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:05,720 You know, the, the flirtiness is automatic. 455 00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,200 You know, if I see it, I'm going to tell you. 456 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,720 And it's, I, I think you're right. 457 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:16,000 And it the part of it is being married, your everyday life, 458 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:22,560 just as a man, you start taking your wife for granted and going, 459 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,360 I don't have to tell you how beautiful you are, you know, I 460 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,640 don't have to come and pat you on the, the, the back or the 461 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:31,200 ass. You know, I don't have to come 462 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,240 kiss you on the back of your neck just out of the blue. 463 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,800 And those are things that you get when you run into me, you 464 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:42,720 know, it's the experience for me where I want you to remember. 465 00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:46,440 Oh, wow, I was with seven. You know, I had AI, had a couple 466 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,720 that I just saw a high wife couple weeks ago. 467 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:54,160 Hadn't seen her in five years, five years. 468 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:59,600 We talked through one of the apps and we we would talk every 469 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,200 now and then we would say hi. Finally we're going to be in the 470 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,880 same city and we get there and I, I talked to her and you know, 471 00:30:06,880 --> 00:30:09,240 we got to play and then I talked to her the next day. 472 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,600 She says, you know, I miss that about you. 473 00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:17,360 You're so caring with me. You're so attentive when you're. 474 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:20,200 And I'm like, honestly, that's just me. 475 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,840 That's just my personality. And here she is married to her 476 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,800 husband of 30 years, right Where? 477 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:32,120 Yeah, sometimes they will stop and not tell you how beautiful 478 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,200 you are. You know which? 479 00:30:34,320 --> 00:30:36,680 You're a woman. You want to hear that every day 480 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:40,200 on the hour? Well, you know, yeah, I think 481 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,800 you're, I think you're right. I mean, it's easy to get 482 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,240 complacent. I think actually for both 483 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,280 people, but I think there have been some wider cultural changes 484 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:57,280 that as women have risen to more positions of power, many more 485 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:01,120 women are financially secure, financially independent. 486 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:06,840 Now once the financial link and this, I come from a financial 487 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,960 background, so this is my perspective, but once the 488 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,360 financial link was kind of broken, where women were no 489 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:20,760 longer financially dependent on men, my experience was white men 490 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:24,240 started to lose their shit. They, they no longer had the 491 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:27,680 control, they no longer had the sway. 492 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,600 They were no longer the decider. And women were starting to make 493 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,080 independent decisions by a about a lot of things. 494 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:40,560 But I didn't experience that same shock and awe from the 495 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,560 black men that I know. They have been confident all 496 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:50,240 along and they know their place. You know, hopefully more of them 497 00:31:50,240 --> 00:31:52,480 are attentive and kind like you are. 498 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,600 But I think it's, I don't know, I, I think that's a real 499 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,080 cultural shift that's happened. And what do you think about 500 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,680 that? You know, I, I, I tend to agree, 501 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:07,240 but I also think you know, maybe 7 how you were raised. 502 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,600 You know your your background, you know your family, like your 503 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:14,280 cultural background and how you were raised to treat women. 504 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,680 You know, that might have something to do with it. 505 00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:23,160 It seems like the black men that I engage with, they're similar 506 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:27,520 to the ones you know, they're very caring, they're attentive, 507 00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:30,840 they're kind. They want to please me. 508 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,280 Like they remember even if we can't get together, it's a year 509 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:40,240 because of what circumstances, they still try to remember what 510 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:45,880 it is that I enjoy. And but regardless of that, they 511 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:48,720 are also very caring and kind and respectful. 512 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:52,800 And are they? Maybe they're that way with all 513 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,600 women. And then maybe that's because 514 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,080 that's how they were raised. It is I, I, I've heard that a 515 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,960 lot too from other guys. It's like how I treat my mother 516 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:06,200 and my sisters and how I value them and my daughters. 517 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:11,800 You know, I value, I think for, for a lot of us, especially in 518 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,040 those that are experienced, they value the time that you're 519 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:21,520 giving us, you know, and that's where a lot of times that you 520 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,440 might see a white guy, he, there's an expectation from him, 521 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:29,600 right? There's a level expectation that 522 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:34,280 you get from him as opposed to when I show up, Hey, you don't 523 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:36,320 owe me anything. Let's just have fun. 524 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,440 I will remember everything I can about you and I want when I 525 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:43,200 leave, I want you to remember that moment that we were in for 526 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,040 the rest of your life. Right. 527 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,480 And you're probably a man of your word when you say you're 528 00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,680 going to do something, you're going to do it like, you know, 529 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,960 there are a lot of men who you know, I'm going to set this up. 530 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,880 I've been thinking about you. It's my turn. 531 00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:57,560 I'll let you know. And then they just, you know, 532 00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,320 they don't follow up, but you seem like a man of your word, 533 00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:06,560 that is. No, because there's value there 534 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:07,120 is. Exactly. 535 00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,679 Exactly. But I think that that thing that 536 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:13,440 you just described right there and too I think that is not race 537 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:16,120 specific. You know, there are flakes on 538 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,880 both on all sides of the racial fence there are flakes and 539 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,880 fakes. So that notwithstanding, I was 540 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,199 talking about a larger cultural issue. 541 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:31,360 I think that so many white men have not celebrated women 542 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,199 rising. I don't remember. 543 00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:40,639 I grew up with four brothers and I don't remember ever them being 544 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,600 coached on how to treat women. You know, I don't remember that 545 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,719 in still that at least how they treated my sister. 546 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:52,760 We were low on the even we were low on the pecking order. 547 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:55,159 You know, the boys got preferential treatment and 548 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:59,040 everything. It's not to say they don't, you 549 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:03,080 know, love me, but I don't think that respect is there like the 550 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:07,600 what you described 7. You know, I but that's but I 551 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,080 can't it's not really specific. You know, I can't say that's the 552 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:14,160 way it is for everybody, but I do feel like there's a stronger 553 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,160 sense of respect for women in other cultures, that's all. 554 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:23,040 Well, I think of how many, you know, if you really want to 555 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:28,480 divide it up by racial lines, to how many single mother 556 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:32,880 households are in the black community, Many, many more than 557 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,800 in the white community. And so there's lots of whole 558 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:39,960 families that have been raised by strong women, strong mothers. 559 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:44,560 And I don't know if that has anything to do with it, but 560 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,920 there are cultural differences that are real differences. 561 00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:56,120 And, and I've noticed that in relationship to how how white 562 00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,120 men respond to me versus how black men respond to me. 563 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,560 And that that has made a difference in and where I 564 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:09,560 gravitate to. So before we sign off 7 would 565 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,400 you tell our listeners how to reach you and anything else that 566 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,040 you'd like to add to the discussion? 567 00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,720 OK, I would, if you guys want to reach me, I do do a telegram 568 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:21,480 group. You can reach me on Telegram 7 569 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:26,840 to you. That's SEVEN, the number 2 and 570 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:31,240 the letter U and then I am I'm really excited. 571 00:36:31,240 --> 00:36:33,280 We just opened up Pups playground. 572 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:38,120 It is a villa that we have in New Orleans that will be hosting 573 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:41,200 like Hotwife events and we're actually doing a Super Bowl 574 00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:45,000 event. So you can e-mail me at 575 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:53,920 my.hotwife.confessions@gmail.com. I do host Hotwife confessions. 576 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:59,000 It's a podcast. And then if you you guys look 577 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:03,160 out in the very, very near future, I'll be releasing a book 578 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:08,040 called Hot Wifing how to establish and maintain a hot 579 00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,040 wife relationship. That is very cool. 580 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:15,120 Thank you for sharing that. I'm sure, I'm sure many of our 581 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,400 listeners are going to want to find you, seek you out and. 582 00:37:18,960 --> 00:37:20,720 I gave you everything but my phone number. 583 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,480 All right. Well, that's coming. 584 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:28,640 You, just you, you, you just mark that down. 585 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:31,120 I think you have it and I might be. 586 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,840 Playing so well. Thanks again and and thank you 587 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,400 for all that you contribute. I appreciate both of you so 588 00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:41,360 much. And we're probably going to 589 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,840 excavate some other topic here and we're going to have you on 590 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:45,040 again 7. So thank. 591 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,840 I would love to. I really would. 592 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,440 Thanks again. Thanks for showing up. 593 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:49,880 Bye everybody. Bye.