1
00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:06,800
Welcome to Beyond Monogamy with 
your host vlogger, podcaster and

2
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:10,320
speaker Crystal Welch. 
This show explores how 

3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,960
relationships are changing in 
the 21st century from consensual

4
00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,680
non monogamy to cuckoldry, 
polyamory, and interracial love.

5
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,520
This is the place to learn 
everything you wanted to know 

6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,280
about consensual non monogamy. 
Now, without any further ado, 

7
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,200
let's welcome your host, Crystal
Welch, and dive head first into 

8
00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:39,040
this episode. 
Hello people, I am so happy to 

9
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,480
bring an exciting guest to you 
today. 

10
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:45,080
I've been waiting to meet her 
for a long time. 

11
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:52,120
She is prominent in the cuckold 
space and a great podcaster. 

12
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:58,120
So she is Venus Cuckolders and 
she's the host and the host of 

13
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,360
Venus Cuckolders, which you can 
find Venus, I think it's Venus 

14
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:02,880
cuckolders.com. 
Is that correct? 

15
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,800
Yes. 
OK, so you can find her there, 

16
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,360
and she's also the founder. 
We want to talk about this a 

17
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,280
little bit later because this 
might be of interest to some of 

18
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:13,960
you. 
She established Venus 

19
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:17,600
Connections, which is a unique I
I've not heard of another one 

20
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,440
anywhere, but it's a unique 
matchmaking service designed for

21
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,840
loving cuckold relationships. 
So if you want to know more 

22
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:30,320
about that, definitely be in 
touch with her because she she 

23
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,880
is the woman that you're going 
to want to listen to and she's 

24
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,720
really credible in the in the 
space. 

25
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,480
So I'm so glad that you're here.
Welcome. 

26
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,160
I think this is going to be a 
fun chat. 

27
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:47,760
So the idea that we had, because
she's an advocate of cuckoldry, 

28
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:55,520
as am I, I thought it would be a
good topic to take up why more 

29
00:01:55,520 --> 00:02:00,720
women might want to consider 
cuckoldry as a relationship 

30
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,760
alternative to if if you're 
monogamous now or if you've 

31
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,920
tried maybe polyamory or some 
other form. 

32
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,040
We want to go through some of 
the benefits I think. 

33
00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:17,320
I think that's what I have a 
couple ideas of why more women 

34
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,080
are hesitant about cuckoldry, 
and I I want to know your 

35
00:02:21,080 --> 00:02:23,080
thoughts on that too. 
Venus, because I know you have 

36
00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:29,440
some, I think primarily women, 
are afraid of shame. 

37
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:35,120
I think that's one thing that 
keeps them from pursuing looking

38
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:38,760
into this a little bit deeper, 
and I think the other major 

39
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,840
reason I probably got this from 
Doctor Ley. 

40
00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:47,960
They're afraid if they proposed 
cuckolding to their partner that

41
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,360
it might interfere with that 
primary relationship. 

42
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:55,200
And so I think we we can take on
both of those and maybe offer 

43
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,680
some ideas about how to navigate
that just to open up the 

44
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,640
conversation in case they're 
curious and how to how to 

45
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,400
champion that conversation 
forward. 

46
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,360
If anything that we make, 
anything we say today makes 

47
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:11,640
sense, which hopefully it will. 
That's our goal. 

48
00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,640
So Venus, I would love to know, 
why don't you go ahead and tell 

49
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:22,200
her guests, I would like to know
how did you become a 

50
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,720
cuckoldress? 
That's the first tier of the 

51
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,360
question. 
And then a longer question I 

52
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:31,640
want to get into a little bit 
later and much deeper is what 

53
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:35,360
are the joys and the benefits 
that you personally have gotten 

54
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,160
out of this lifestyle choice for
yourself? 

55
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,920
Well, first of all thank you 
Crystal for having me on the 

56
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,120
show. 
I'm just so happy to be able to 

57
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:50,400
talk about my favorite subject 
and I think that this is going 

58
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,880
to be a wonderful conversation 
because yes, there are so many 

59
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:58,680
reasons why women really should 
think of a loving cuckolding 

60
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:03,600
relationship as an option. 
So to start out your with your 

61
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,880
first question like how did I 
become a cuckold? 

62
00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,400
Just how did I get into this? 
I actually knew that this was 

63
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,440
the kind of relationship I 
wanted before. 

64
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,280
I knew what it like that it was 
even possible. 

65
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,880
I knew about swinging, I knew 
about non monogamy. 

66
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,520
But I had always thought that 
there had to be this level of 

67
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:27,080
equality as far as if you're 
allowed to do that, then I'm 

68
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,440
allowed to do that. 
And it was constantly a very 

69
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:33,440
like setting those rules, limits
and boundaries where everybody 

70
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,480
was comfortable. 
And so I thought it was a always

71
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,600
have to meet in the middle kind 
of thing. 

72
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:42,160
And I knew I didn't want that. 
I was just like, you know, I 

73
00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,960
just want to be able to do what 
I want and have someone really 

74
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,280
happy to for that. 
And I just was like, I'm never 

75
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,960
gonna get a guy to sign up for 
this. 

76
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,320
Like, there's no way, there's no
way that a guy would agree to 

77
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,880
that. 
It's not fair. 

78
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:58,360
The unfairness of it is what I 
thought. 

79
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,960
I would never find a guy who 
would sign up for that. 

80
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:06,560
But then I matched with this guy
on Tinder, and he started 

81
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,440
telling me about this kind of 
relationship, and he didn't use 

82
00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:11,360
the word cuck or cuckold right 
away. 

83
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:16,040
So he was just talking about, 
like, how he really enjoyed the 

84
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,240
fact that I had no plans on 
being monogamous, that I wanted 

85
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,960
to sleep with my friends with 
benefits whenever I wanted and 

86
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,480
stuff. 
And so he's very intrigued by 

87
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,720
that. 
And then eventually he did use 

88
00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,200
the word, the word cuck. 
And I was like, I don't know 

89
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:35,320
what that is, but all right. 
And then then when I learned, I 

90
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:38,560
was like, Oh my God, are you 
serious? 

91
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:40,280
This sounds. 
Really a thing? 

92
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:44,160
It's really. 
And I but I thought it was just 

93
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,200
like, I thought he was just very
unique. 

94
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:51,200
And it wasn't until him and I 
broke up that I started looking 

95
00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,480
online and researching this. 
Not really researching, but just

96
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,240
looking up that cuckold thing. 
And I was like, holy shit, 

97
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:01,440
there's a lot of guys out there 
that are down for this. 

98
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:06,080
And so that was like a big 
moment for me because like, I I 

99
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,040
had no idea it existed. 
And that was one of the reasons 

100
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:11,680
why I first started blogging, 
'cause I was like, if I didn't 

101
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:15,040
know it existed, I bet there's a
bunch of other women that don't 

102
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,840
know it exists either as an 
option for a relationship. 

103
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:23,080
So as far as your your second 
question, what I get out of it, 

104
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,680
there is so much benefit to 
women in this kind of 

105
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:33,280
relationship because you get 
your loving and adoring partner 

106
00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,760
who you love with all of your 
heart. 

107
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,880
And you also get these the 
ability to explore your 

108
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:46,080
sexuality on your own terms with
whoever you want in combination,

109
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:50,040
which is usually not something 
that you would ever like, 

110
00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,560
connect the two with. 
Like you want to sleep with 

111
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:56,560
other people or whoever you 
want, whenever you want, if you 

112
00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,560
want. 
And he's not only going to be OK

113
00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,280
with it, and he's not just going
to be settled for it and say 

114
00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,560
it's OK and he's not going to 
give you a bunch of rules and 

115
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:08,880
say, well, OK, you get to do 
that, but I get to do this kind 

116
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,320
of thing. 
But he's he's actually going to 

117
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,360
like, cheer you on like 
celebrate like, yes. 

118
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,560
And the more you are like that, 
the more he is happy and 

119
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:24,760
fulfilled. 
And I was just so when as a 

120
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:28,000
woman you have that, you have 
that, you have this loving, 

121
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:33,120
adoring, loyal partner who will 
celebrate you for the sexual 

122
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,120
being that you are. 
And So what it really does, I 

123
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,360
think at the end of the day, 
this kind of relationship 

124
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:43,160
empowers women to ask for what 
they want and get what they 

125
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,120
want. 
And that's not something that we

126
00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,640
are used to doing. 
And yeah, so there's. 

127
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:53,080
And of course if you are already
in a relationship and you and 

128
00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:57,600
you bring in cuckolding, it's 
just going to amplify the love, 

129
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,200
the trust and the communication 
that you have. 

130
00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,320
It's and your sex life is going 
to be the most fun ever. 

131
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,720
Yes, you have. 
You have entered the Unicorn. 

132
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:16,160
The Unicorn zone, Yes. 
Oh, that's very, very 

133
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:22,560
interesting that you thought of 
the idea before you knew about 

134
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,120
the thing. 
I mean, that's really 

135
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,480
fascinating to me because that 
just tells you that there's. 

136
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,120
And actually, I've been doing 
research recently that backs up 

137
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:39,559
what she just said about women 
are in fact looking for other 

138
00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,440
ways, other alternatives to 
monogamy. 

139
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,080
And I'm going to share a little 
bit of that with you. 

140
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:51,160
But I just wanted to respond 
back that it is kind of like 

141
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:57,800
Unicorn land when I have talked 
to women who have asked me, you 

142
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,560
know, why are you doing that or 
what's that all about or what 

143
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:04,800
what do you get out of that? 
You know my quickest down and 

144
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:09,920
dirty answer it it is exactly 
the cake and eat it too scenario

145
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:15,240
where you know, most women I 
know have always dreamed of a 

146
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:20,560
loyal, loving, devoted, you 
know, partner who supports you, 

147
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,040
doesn't try to compete with you 
and just, you know, just loves 

148
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:27,800
you in that way. 
It's not that easy to find in 

149
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,920
today's world in in my 
experience. 

150
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,920
And I've been married a couple 
times and man, I fell out with 

151
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,280
monogamy big time. 
And no. 

152
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,640
And I just knew that I would 
never go back because you know, 

153
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:41,920
I ended up alone most of the 
time. 

154
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:47,320
It was lonely and not connected.
And I thought why would I have 

155
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:51,480
all of the obligations of 
monogamy and none of the 

156
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,480
benefits, you know, of a partner
that's never there. 

157
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:57,480
A partner who's not really 
interested in what you're doing,

158
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,120
a partner who is not really 
interested in you at the end of 

159
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,240
the day. 
I think that's that's a lot of 

160
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:05,000
women and a lot of their 
relationships. 

161
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,960
And so I actually advertised for
a cock. 

162
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,480
I knew what it was. 
I had never had an ongoing 

163
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,040
relationship with a cock, but I 
knew what it was. 

164
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:18,360
And I actually put an ad on 
Craigslist saying, hey, I'm a 

165
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:21,520
busy professional, I I would 
like to be hooked up with a 

166
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,960
cuckold man. 
And that's about all I said. 

167
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:30,120
I didn't. 
Bother to describe myself or you

168
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:33,000
know, really nothing. 
I just thought, ah, this is an 

169
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,080
experiment. 
Nobody will probably, well 

170
00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:37,880
Craigslist and for anybody that 
ever used it back in the day. 

171
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:42,000
You know if you are female 
posting, you know, I'm a £300 

172
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,400
gorilla and who were female, 
you'd still get 40 responses out

173
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:49,640
of there. 
So I left, I left that little ad

174
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:54,280
up about, I don't know, 10/15/20
minutes and my husband actually 

175
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,240
responded to it. 
He was the first one to respond.

176
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,880
We decided to go have a drink 
and I thought, well just be 

177
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,160
interesting, see how this 
happens. 

178
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:04,760
And we just clicked. 
We just talked a mile a minute. 

179
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,160
We had had some similar 
experiences with marriage and 

180
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,840
monogamy. 
I asked him, you know, why would

181
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,240
he respond to an ad for a 
cuckoldress? 

182
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,080
And his his explanation was he 
had been a swinger for a period 

183
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,400
of time with his ex-wife. 
But he realized that the joy 

184
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,400
that he really got was in 
watching her not really 

185
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,160
participating. 
And I'm like you in that I 

186
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:29,880
didn't know a man like that 
existed. 

187
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,760
I figured all men, if they have 
opportunity, especially like at 

188
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,960
a swinger party or something 
like that, they're going to be 

189
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:37,680
jumping on everything they can 
jump on. 

190
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,800
Not true. 
Not every man is designed that 

191
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:44,680
way. 
And and as it turns out, I I 

192
00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:48,440
don't know how you're. 
I've got the impression, I mean 

193
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:53,880
a good portion of my followers 
are cuckold, cuckold males or 

194
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:58,000
men that want to be. 
And it's probably 1000 to 1. 

195
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:03,200
They're all clamoring to figure 
out how do I find a woman that 

196
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,400
will cuckold me. 
And so women, this is something 

197
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:11,280
that we want you to hear. 
These delightful men are out 

198
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,960
there and they're and they're 
looking for you. 

199
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:19,680
And they they are loyal, they 
are loving, they are attentive. 

200
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:23,040
All the things that you always 
thought relationship should be. 

201
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,360
I personally never found it till
I was with a cuckold male. 

202
00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,480
And and you know, there's not a 
chance in the world that I would

203
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,320
ever leave him. 
I mean, why would I? 

204
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,200
Why would I have, I have 
everything. 

205
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,760
I have everything in the world 
and I gotta. 

206
00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,480
Add a new. 
Lover on deck on Friday, with 

207
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,840
any luck here, So, and he's 
excited, he's gonna go skiing. 

208
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,680
He doesn't even stay here. 
He's gonna go skiing. 

209
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:51,520
He goes, I hope you're in bed 
with, you know, Joe Blow over 

210
00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,480
there, you know, when I get back
from skiing. 

211
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,280
So I said well that's what I 
hope too. 

212
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,680
So anyway, it's fun, it's 
playful. 

213
00:12:58,680 --> 00:13:04,160
It's been tremendously 
satisfying at the communication.

214
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,680
I'm sure Venus has a lot to add 
in terms of the communication 

215
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,640
that it requires at the tail 
end. 

216
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:14,600
I think both of us can offer, 
you know, what we've learned in 

217
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,400
terms of how do you broach the 
conversation, how do you 

218
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,920
introduce, if this is an idea 
that's intriguing to you, how do

219
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:25,040
you sort of introduce it to your
partner or somebody maybe that 

220
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,280
you've just met? 
How do you go about that? 

221
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:31,160
And I think that might be 
helpful for people, but I wanted

222
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,560
to share just for a second this 
the research that I recently 

223
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:38,480
found and this is a big research
study. 

224
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:46,280
They it, they took queries, it 
was over a 10 year period and 

225
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:49,680
they took anonymous web queries 
on Google, basically Google 

226
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:53,480
questions, hundreds of thousands
of Google questions. 

227
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:59,480
And the result was showing that 
the words related to polyamory 

228
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:03,880
and open relationships have 
significantly increased over 

229
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,240
time. 
I've had a perception that 

230
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,120
that's happening. 
I know Venus has had a 

231
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,640
perception that that's 
happening, but this is the hard 

232
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,000
research. 
It is in fact happening. 

233
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,280
It's here to stay. 
But here's another interesting 

234
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:18,200
aspect about that does not 
include swinging. 

235
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,240
So women are not really 
interested in swinging so much 

236
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:28,320
but Poly but CNN and possibly 
Cup Holdery if they learn a 

237
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,160
little bit about it, might be 
right in their wheelhouse 

238
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:35,480
because this is where all good 
things happen from my from my 

239
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,360
opinion. 
So anyway it's it's it's been 

240
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,840
really really an interesting 
journey and more and more 

241
00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,920
people, especially women, are 
looking for alternatives to 

242
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,800
monogamy. 
And so that's why I thought this

243
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,440
conversation with Venus, who's 
been in this space for quite a 

244
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:58,480
while, would be really valuable 
to talk to because she's a, 

245
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,240
she's a real voice in this 
space. 

246
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,000
So, and one of the quotes from 
this study was the more 

247
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,040
empowered women become, the more
you'll see women saying I'm done

248
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:09,600
with monogamy. 
I think we believe that to be 

249
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,440
true. 
I mean, you believe that to be 

250
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,520
true, Venus, I believe that to 
be. 

251
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,360
True, I really do. 
I think that we'll see a real 

252
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:24,240
change in the in how women 
consider a non monogamy to be 

253
00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,000
palatable. 
I mean I think that the more 

254
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,400
that we talk about this in a 
relationship lens, the more 

255
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:39,000
attractive it becomes to women. 
And I think that monogamy is or 

256
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,000
non monogamy is not for everyone
though there I think that 

257
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,920
monogamy really does suit 
certain people and that is 

258
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,200
totally OK. 
Not saying that everyone is 

259
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,080
suited for a non monogamous 
relationship. 

260
00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:59,160
However, I do totally understand
how when women are given the 

261
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,160
opportunity and the permission 
to just ask for what they want, 

262
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,640
they're going going to say what 
they want. 

263
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:09,080
And that includes sexually. 
They want more than just one 

264
00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,800
person trying to give them 
everything, which is a real 

265
00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:13,480
challenge. 
So and it's never going to 

266
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,960
happen. 
Never going to find that one 

267
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,920
person is will give you 
literally everything. 

268
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:21,360
Except for a cut. 
Actually, that's really true. 

269
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:25,080
I mean, how many time have we 
heard that from psychologists 

270
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:28,360
and therapists? 
You know your expectation that 

271
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,480
you're going to find one person 
that's just going to fulfill 

272
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,320
every possible need that you 
have. 

273
00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,920
It's not possible. 
And I'm here to tell you and 

274
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,920
Venus is here to tell you that 
that's not true. 

275
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:42,440
We have, we have found a unique 
space. 

276
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,480
And I agree with you totally. 
It's not for everyone, but 

277
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:50,440
interestingly, in this study it 
said that typically, you know, 

278
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,880
we we make an assumption that 
men just want never ending 

279
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,040
amounts of sex wherever they can
get it and whoever will lay 

280
00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:01,120
still for them. 
It's not necessarily true, but 

281
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:06,760
what they found in the research 
is that women lose interest in 

282
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:12,640
sex in monogamous relationships 
sooner than men do, between one 

283
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:16,240
and four years. 
Women are already needing some 

284
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,400
variety. 
They're needing something 

285
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,400
different. 
They want a different kind of 

286
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,640
stimulation. 
Don't necessarily want to leave 

287
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:25,760
their partner or or maybe not at
all, but they they just want 

288
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,319
something different. 
And this I found very 

289
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:29,960
fascinating that it's much 
longer for men. 

290
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:34,480
It said that men are, you know, 
their statistics are saying that

291
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,960
they're long term partners. 
It's 9 to 12 years for men 

292
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,520
before they really get bored. 
So if you're in that 

293
00:17:41,520 --> 00:17:46,120
relationship slot that 
everybody's happy right now, 

294
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,400
good on you go for it. 
But you might just be heads up 

295
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:53,040
to at some point in the future, 
one or the other of you. 

296
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,640
And according to the research 
here, it's going to be the woman

297
00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:01,720
is going to want more sooner. 
And so how will you address 

298
00:18:01,720 --> 00:18:03,040
that? 
How will you address that? 

299
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,720
Well, it's not very surprising. 
When you look at the orgasm gap,

300
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:12,920
guys are going off every fucking
time and we're getting off like,

301
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:17,560
maybe what, 30% of the time. 
Yeah, if we're lucky. 

302
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,240
If we're lucky. 
If we're lucky, yeah. 

303
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,240
And. 
And they can get off with almost

304
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:23,440
nothing. 
Yeah. 

305
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,760
It's. 
Pretty simple. 

306
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:29,000
Show them your boobs and they'll
have a you know they'll and I. 

307
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,480
It's crazy, but women want 
variety, novelty, advantage, 

308
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,480
ensure. 
That's what we want. 

309
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:40,320
And I think one of the might be 
one of the holdups of why more 

310
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,840
women haven't actually looked 
into this, is that A, they 

311
00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:45,680
didn't know it existed. 
B, they don't know how to go 

312
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:50,000
about it, but B and then they 
might judge themselves, or 

313
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,840
they're afraid that they're 
going to be judged for wanting 

314
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:57,240
more when they might be married 
to a a loyal, nice man. 

315
00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,320
And those are all completely 
legitimate concerns. 

316
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,840
I think they're workable if if 
you're interested in working. 

317
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:11,800
What it requires I think is a 
just a profound honesty an 

318
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,760
authenticity and and a 
willingness to be really 

319
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,320
vulnerable and share with your 
partner that you love them 

320
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:23,160
dearly and you would also like a
little variety from time to time

321
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,880
and and see how it plays. 
You know some of us we want a 

322
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,280
little variety like every day. 
We can't get it that often but 

323
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:36,760
but but you know, isn't it nice 
to be with a partner that if you

324
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,360
you were lucky enough to find it
every day you could and they'd 

325
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,240
be just as happy as can be? 
My husband is never happier than

326
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,920
when I'm with somebody and just 
really enjoying myself And he 

327
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:49,280
is. 
I've. 

328
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:55,960
I've asked him about that. 
It's really a perfect example of

329
00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,720
compersion. 
What gets him off is to see me 

330
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,240
happy. 
He's thrilled he's thrilled to 

331
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:04,640
see me thrilled and he and he 
knows that he doesn't. 

332
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,760
We're we're like really 
comfortable with each other. 

333
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:11,360
We've been together a long time.
I love him with all my life. 

334
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,560
But that thrill factor you know 
it does diminish over it. 

335
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:18,880
It does for everyone, you know. 
And that's the the thing that a 

336
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,040
new person can bring to the 
table and I think that it's it's

337
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,240
valid. 
It's valid, is that is that sort

338
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:29,120
of in your experience to Venus? 
Yeah. 

339
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:34,000
So I think when I first started 
in this lifestyle, I really, I 

340
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,920
jumped in head first. 
Like, there was no hesitation. 

341
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:40,280
There was no, but why or like, I
don't know that there was not no

342
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,200
questioning. 
And I was. 

343
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:45,960
I literally felt a sense of 
relief that I had finally found 

344
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:51,160
this kind of relationship that I
felt like I wanted and needed 

345
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,720
for so long. 
And so it was hard for me to 

346
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:58,320
understand why women would be 
not feel the same. 

347
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,560
It's it was hard for me to 
relate in that way. 

348
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:04,880
But over the years, I've begun 
to understand that there are a 

349
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,000
lot of different blocks that 
women have when it comes to 

350
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,200
wanting this kind of 
relationship. 

351
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,240
And it depends if it's single 
women, it depends on what stage 

352
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,640
of life they're in. 
In the matchmaking program, 

353
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,440
there's no women in their 20s. 
Actually, no. 

354
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:26,560
There's one, but she's late 20s 
and so I think that women in 

355
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,320
their 20s, they either don't 
know that this exists or they're

356
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,480
just not ready to ask for what 
they want in a relationship they

357
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,680
don't have the confidence to. 
I don't know. 

358
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:41,120
Yeah, And so if they're single, 
I think it really depends on 

359
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,840
that. 
But if you are coupled and your 

360
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,840
husband or boyfriend brings this
up, because let's face it, 

361
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:53,320
that's usually how cuckolding 
relationships start off, is that

362
00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:55,480
they, you know, it's a couple 
that's been together for 

363
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,200
monogamous for a very long time,
or even swinging or. 

364
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,520
And then the husband brings it 
up. 

365
00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:04,880
Hey, I'd really like you to 
sleep with other people and 

366
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:07,520
unfortunately that is the wrong 
approach. 

367
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:12,240
Says that's the wrong approach. 
Or saying to a single woman, I 

368
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,720
really want you to cuckold me is
also the wrong approach. 

369
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,800
And so if you use that kind of 
approach, you're going to get a,

370
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,400
you're going to get strange 
responses. 

371
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:25,000
And funny enough, the most 
common response from women who 

372
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:29,200
are married where their husband 
brings this up is they think 

373
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,760
that it it is some backdoor way 
of him trying to get permission 

374
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,480
to sleep with other women. 
And so they're very hesitant and

375
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,320
untrusting of that. 
Then that is a very, very common

376
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,040
first reaction. 
And but there's other things. 

377
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:48,400
I mean, for a woman who is been 
in a monogamous relationship a 

378
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,040
long time, she's very 
comfortable with her husband, 

379
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,440
she's comfortable with the sex. 
She's comfortable with her 

380
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,360
skills. 
She is, you know, all of that. 

381
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,960
And then to think about Okay. 
Now I have to go and sleep with 

382
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,440
other people who maybe we'll 
want something different 

383
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:08,840
sexually and or these are 
complete strangers and I won't 

384
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,680
feel safe or I'm going to catch 
STIs or how do I even find 

385
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,360
somebody like there's just all 
of this kind of looming 

386
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:18,640
pressure. 
Will my husband? 

387
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,480
Yeah. 
Will my husband reject me if I 

388
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,880
actually do this? 
You know, the idea might sound 

389
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,680
exciting to him, but if I do it,
is he going to then reject me? 

390
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,160
Yeah, this this idea that it 
could be damaging to her 

391
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,680
relationship. 
These are some some things that 

392
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,880
we automatically think of. 
Like. 

393
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,720
Yeah, he likes it right now. 
But what about when we're in a 

394
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,560
argument and where he's really 
upset with me? 

395
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:43,320
Is he going to weaponize this? 
You know, that kind of thing? 

396
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,680
But yeah, that. 
But there's also like, what if 

397
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,520
other people find out like slut 
shaming, all of that sort of 

398
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,160
stuff. 
And so there's a lot of risk 

399
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:58,160
there with women and they don't.
We don't always say we don't 

400
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,120
talk about those things. 
We just knee jerk reaction. 

401
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,200
No, that's fucked up. 
I'm never doing that. 

402
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,840
Don't ever bring it up again. 
Kind of a thing. 

403
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,280
And it sucks because there needs
to be that kind of open 

404
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,200
communication, but an approach 
that encourages that. 

405
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,440
Yeah. 
And if you have that kind of, if

406
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,720
you have that kind of 
communication with your partner 

407
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:23,080
now, I think your chances of 
having a productive discussion 

408
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,600
about this are very good. 
I mean there's a ton of 

409
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,800
information out there. 
You know, go through and listen 

410
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,120
to some of the Unisys, podcasts 
and and reader blog, you know, I

411
00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:34,880
have 1:00. 
There's a lot of information out

412
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:38,960
there, people sharing their 
experience, that you can, you 

413
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,560
know, listen to that with your 
partner and then discuss what 

414
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,960
you hear. 
You know, how did that sound and

415
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:51,200
how did that feel to you? 
It is, it is not a solution for 

416
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,640
a relationship that's 
struggling. 

417
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,480
Yeah, it's not. 
Say that louder for the ones in 

418
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,600
the back. 
Yeah, yes. 

419
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,160
If if your relationship is 
struggling and your 

420
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,800
communication leaves something 
to be desired, this is not for 

421
00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,200
you. 
You have to fix that part first.

422
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:09,680
If you get that part fixed, 
where you both can be open, 

423
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:15,720
honest, authentic and vulnerable
with each other, you have a very

424
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:18,840
good chance. 
Even if you don't pursue this as

425
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,520
a lifestyle, you have a very 
good chance to have a really 

426
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,120
fruitful discussion about it 
that will help your relationship

427
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,680
evolve. 
I mean, at the end of the day, 

428
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,720
that's how we, my husband and I 
both see this. 

429
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:35,720
This has been a tremendous 
evolutionary growth for our 

430
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,280
relationship and we just 
wouldn't have it any other way. 

431
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,800
I mean, we'll be like this till 
we die because nothing else has 

432
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:47,960
even come close in terms of the 
intimacy, the vulnerability, you

433
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,080
know, just the connection that 
it has built. 

434
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,880
It's 1000 times more than 
anything I've ever had. 

435
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,240
And I'm not young. 
I've had a few relationships in 

436
00:25:56,240 --> 00:26:00,400
my life. 
So that's the encouragement. 

437
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:06,560
And that was all really good 
advice to Venus in a way to 

438
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,160
approach that discussion so that
you, you and your partner can 

439
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,240
just remain open minded, just 
open minded to it and see what's

440
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,120
there for you. 
Well, to be specific, I think 

441
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:21,440
for for men to approach their 
partner about this, they usually

442
00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:25,160
make the same mistake, which is 
the I want you to sleep with 

443
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:28,440
other men approach because in 
their mind they're fixated on 

444
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:33,120
that part of cuckolding. 
But what they don't realize is 

445
00:26:33,120 --> 00:26:37,640
this is not just about his 
sexual fantasies or even hers. 

446
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,920
This is about her exploring her 
sexual being and feeling and 

447
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,440
going through that journey of 
sexual empowerment. 

448
00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:49,320
Really, that's what it's about. 
And so if he approaches her with

449
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:56,640
that kind of language, the 
sexual empowerment, the sexual 

450
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:03,240
exploration, the ability to 
really build confidence in that 

451
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:07,800
area or that arena, I think 
would be a really more 

452
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:12,200
productive conversation when it 
comes to introducing cuckolding 

453
00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,160
to your partner. 
Because then it is really truly 

454
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,320
more about her, which it it 
should be, it should be about 

455
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:20,880
her. 
It's it shouldn't be just about 

456
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,520
you getting your rocks off 
because you've been fantasizing 

457
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:26,200
about this because you've been 
watching porn. 

458
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:31,440
I mean, this is a relationship. 
This is and it. 

459
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:33,840
Otherwise it's what is it 
voyeurism. 

460
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,720
Like, you know, it's a 
relationship. 

461
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,000
You can't have cuckolding 
without the relationship. 

462
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,600
You can't. 
I mean, you could role play, 

463
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,480
sure. 
But I mean, at the end of the 

464
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,840
day, this is the relationship 
and it will affect your 

465
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:48,440
relationship for the better. 
It will as long as you, you 

466
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,200
know, communicate a lot. 
Like, I mean a lot. 

467
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,600
A lot. 
You check in a lot you're going 

468
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:54,760
to make. 
You're going to fuck up and make

469
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,680
mistakes. 
But you need to have a solid 

470
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,400
foundation of love and trust and
communication built already, so 

471
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,360
that when you do stumble, you're
not going to completely fall. 

472
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,480
Yeah, great, great advice. 
That was great advice right 

473
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:11,080
there. 
I think she really encapsulated 

474
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:15,720
the the meat of that. 
And I think you're exactly 

475
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,240
right, the men that make 
mistakes with this, because I 

476
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,920
think more men still watch more 
porn than women. 

477
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:30,120
Generally speaking, cuckolding 
is one of the most, the top, one

478
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,040
of the top rated search searches
in porn. 

479
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:36,040
So there's a clearly a lot of 
interest in it. 

480
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,960
So men might you know they might
discover it over there and then 

481
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:45,240
we won't might get questions 
like how do I make my wife do 

482
00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:50,920
this really wrong approach 
Really really really really 

483
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:55,640
wrong really wrong start start 
to frame this as wouldn't it be 

484
00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:02,640
lovely if my wife could fully be
fully free and express herself 

485
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,200
and. 
Ask her what she wants. 

486
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:11,120
And and and I could support her 
in that and and if you have that

487
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,880
in mind before you ever open the
conversation take that approach 

488
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,760
like I would love for you to 
feel like you're free. 

489
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,440
That you're you know empowered 
to make decisions for yourself. 

490
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:30,200
I assure you that I won't 
persecute you or you know give 

491
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,680
you a you know a back slap for 
doing this. 

492
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,520
You know. 
But it it is a focus on the 

493
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:43,400
female choice because that old 
saying you know when what is it 

494
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,320
when mom is happy. 
Everybody's happy. 

495
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,640
That is really true. 
If you're married and your wife 

496
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,400
is unhappy, I promise you she's 
going to make you unhappy too. 

497
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:57,400
Yes, we have an amazing ability 
to spread that. 

498
00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:01,280
If you know when things aren't 
working well, we can, We can 

499
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:05,000
throw that out there. 
By the same token, when we have 

500
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:10,040
a devoted man that is truly 
devoted and and genuinely 

501
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:17,200
supports our freedom and our joy
and our excitement and the 

502
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:22,720
experience of desire which is so
heady to me, that will bind you 

503
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,840
to him. 
I mean, I I can't even. 

504
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:29,880
I have not found the words to 
express how bound I am to my 

505
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,040
husband because he's given me 
this freedom and really freely 

506
00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:37,200
given it and expecting 
absolutely nothing in return 

507
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,760
that maybe you can watch once in
a while or get involved in just 

508
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,600
got away. 
But other than that it's my it's

509
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,560
my deal and I get to do it 
exactly how I want, when I want 

510
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,640
with whomever I want. 
I mean is that not a cake and 

511
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,000
eat it too situation. 
I mean, I don't know what you 

512
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:57,080
how you could come closer in a 
relationship for women than 

513
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,440
that. 
I mean, I yeah, I don't. 

514
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,160
If it's out there, I don't know 
what it is. 

515
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:06,120
Yeah, I think that it comes down
to women sharing their stories 

516
00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,000
with other women for this to 
really gain traction with the 

517
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,920
women, Because you're right, 
they're not out there watching 

518
00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:12,800
porn. 
They're they're not watching 

519
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:14,120
cuck porn. 
They're certainly not. 

520
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:18,200
Like, maybe they've, a few of 
them have seen it, but they are 

521
00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:21,120
not the ones doing the searches 
for cuckold porn. 

522
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:25,080
They're just not. 
I think that the fantasy land of

523
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:30,320
cuckolding has has really, you 
know, taken this and run with it

524
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:31,760
in a. 
A Very. 

525
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:35,280
Different direction, Honestly 
different but like it. 

526
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:40,240
It's a unique direction and and 
and it no longer kind of like 

527
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:44,600
resonates with the reality of it
because the reality is so much 

528
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:49,880
more intricate and it's so much 
more emotional and all of those 

529
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,520
things are just difficult to be 
able to portray on a on a screen

530
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:56,480
in a film. 
So, but they, the women are not 

531
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,760
out there looking for cuckold 
porn. 

532
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:04,360
And when it comes to singles who
are looking for a relationship, 

533
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,280
this kind of relationship, 
that's why you have so many 

534
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:10,240
single guys. 
I'm like, Oh my God, I want this

535
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,880
as part of my relationship 
because this turns me on so 

536
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,360
much. 
And when they come into my 

537
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,520
matchmaking program, they have 
this whole long list of things 

538
00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:22,320
that they must have in our in 
this kind of relationship. 

539
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,200
I must have interracial, I must 
have a size queen. 

540
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,440
I must have humiliation or 
teasing. 

541
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,720
I must have FLR like they've got
they know exactly what they 

542
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,840
want, what turns them on, they 
know what they don't want. 

543
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,800
All of that. 
The women, on the other hand, 

544
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,200
they have not been watching this
cuckold porn. 

545
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:45,080
They don't know if they've had a
previous relationship like this.

546
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,920
Then they want to. 
They want something similar. 

547
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,920
That's all they know, right? 
They they're willing to learn 

548
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,560
more. 
But they that's their starting 

549
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:57,000
point, is what they had before. 
And then you have, surprisingly 

550
00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:02,280
enough, most of the single women
in my matchmaking program have 

551
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,520
no experience in this kind of 
relationship. 

552
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:07,800
None. 
So they have just learned about 

553
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,720
this dynamic and they're like, 
like how I was, Oh my God, this 

554
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,920
suits who I am. 
This sounds perfect. 

555
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:18,800
And so for those women, though, 
they don't have the years of 

556
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,960
experience of watching cuckold 
porn, They don't know what turns

557
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,560
them on. 
They don't know what turns them 

558
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,400
off. 
They look at this through the 

559
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:32,800
lens of a relationship only and 
their lens of a relationship 

560
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,600
that promotes their own sexual 
freedom and celebrates it. 

561
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,960
And so you have two people 
single men and single women 

562
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:46,640
arriving at the cuckolding 
dating door in from 2 completely

563
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:51,880
different directions and and and
the men not realizing that the 

564
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,440
women don't view it in the same 
way. 

565
00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:58,320
And so we have this real 
disconnect and that's why I 

566
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,160
think it's a real turn off for 
the single women out there when 

567
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,120
they're constantly bombarded 
with the fantasy aspect from the

568
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,520
men. 
Because we're just like, I want 

569
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:09,760
to get to know you as a person. 
I want to date like you know, 

570
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:14,000
like a real relationship. 
Like I need that first and then 

571
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,960
we let's build on all the fun 
stuff. 

572
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,320
But there seems to be this like 
avalanche of these are my my 

573
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,639
fantasies, this is what I want. 
Everything like that from the 

574
00:34:21,639 --> 00:34:24,000
men. 
And so part of the matchmaking 

575
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:27,360
service is a three-week 
educational program that the men

576
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:30,120
and women have to take. 
And so we can understand, hey 

577
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,600
there is this disconnect. 
And hey, for the guys who 

578
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,719
arrived with this big long list 
of I want this, I Want that, 

579
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,159
you're going to have to put that
aside and realize it really 

580
00:34:39,159 --> 00:34:40,840
depends on who you fall in love 
with. 

581
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,960
Really. 
Band. 

582
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,960
That's a quote load of great 
advice right there for everybody

583
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,480
that's listening. 
She really just put her thumb 

584
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:53,520
right on it. 
The cuckold relationship, I 

585
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,400
mean. 
And I think most women I've 

586
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,920
professionally, I've dealt with 
women almost exclusively my 

587
00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:04,040
whole professional career. 
I spent 25 years as a financial 

588
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:07,600
advisor with women, as I know 
women how they think. 

589
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:10,920
I know what goes wrong in their 
relationships because I worked 

590
00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:13,920
with them on the divorce side. 
I know, I know what happens 

591
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:19,920
there. 
And women, I think an awful lot 

592
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:24,280
of women are like you and me. 
We just want loving, healthy, 

593
00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:30,320
connected relationships with 
people that respect us and don't

594
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,960
try and put us in a box. 
But she's exactly right, and I 

595
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,960
hope you guys that are listening
hear that part. 

596
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:44,360
That cuckolding really isn't 
about the sex nearly as much as 

597
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,320
it is about the relationship. 
The sex can happen a million 

598
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:51,760
different ways. 
The commitment to this kind of 

599
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:56,680
relationship is I want to be in 
a deeply, profoundly intimate 

600
00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:01,960
relationship with my partner, 
and this is an Ave. possibly to 

601
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,040
lead us to that. 
I think a lot of women are 

602
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:10,000
interested in that, but men, but
men, you cannot approach it like

603
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,520
it's just some sex trick or you 
will turn them off and and you 

604
00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:17,080
and you'll lose them. 
It's like we're speaking two 

605
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,520
different languages and you got 
to kind of figure that out and 

606
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,320
be like, oh, OK, like let's 
switch this up a little bit. 

607
00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:26,600
Yeah, yeah. 
And you'll have A and you'll 

608
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:29,480
have a lot better results. 
And then at the end of the day, 

609
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:33,000
everybody is then happy. 
But yeah, you said a mouthful 

610
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,160
there. 
I'm so glad you that you shared 

611
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,160
that because I knew that you 
were getting some kind of 

612
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:43,840
specific information from the 
people that are looking for 

613
00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:45,200
this. 
Obviously they've joined your 

614
00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:49,120
matchmaking site and they're 
saying help me execute this, 

615
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,680
help me find out how to do this 
and and that's really great 

616
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:56,120
information, the fact that they 
have to go through a three-week 

617
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:57,960
program, God, well. 
Yes. 

618
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,120
And I interview every single 
person. 

619
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:04,320
So I spend an hour with each 
person in the program getting to

620
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,240
know them and what who they are 
and what they want. 

621
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:11,280
So it really has given me some 
incredible insight into the men 

622
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:14,760
and the women who are seeking 
this kind of relationship and 

623
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,480
why and where they're coming 
from, like their background and 

624
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:20,760
how they were, you know, what it
interests them about it, all of 

625
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,840
that sort of stuff. 
It's absolutely fascinating. 

626
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:27,680
I believe it is the only program
of its kind in the world that I 

627
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,600
know of. 
So it's just so interesting to 

628
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:34,120
be able to have all of this 
insight from from these members.

629
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,520
It's just it's like wow. 
And I believe the whole thing 

630
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:42,200
about like the women are the 
ones who are searching for these

631
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:44,520
terms of non monogamy and stuff 
like that. 

632
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:48,400
And I I totally believe that I 
did hear somewhere that for a 

633
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:55,040
long time swinging was the most 
common searched term and now 

634
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,280
it's actually been replaced by 
cuckolding. 

635
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,120
And so the someone was saying 
like cuckolding is the new 

636
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,160
swinging. 
And I'm like, I believe that, 

637
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:07,440
'cause I feel like it's just 
exploding in the last few years.

638
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:12,080
Well, and it's very telling in 
this story, what they what they 

639
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,400
quoted specifically was 
polyamory. 

640
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:19,040
That should tell you a lot about
what women 'cause this is. 

641
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:20,880
This is what women are looking 
for. 

642
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,120
They're looking for a 
relationship. 

643
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:28,440
Your cut dynamic may or may not 
be polyflavored. 

644
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:32,000
It doesn't matter. 
But they're not looking to just 

645
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:35,840
swing swinging was not included 
in those search terms. 

646
00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:39,960
People are not looking for that.
They're looking for a type of 

647
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,760
relationship. 
And I think that the, you know, 

648
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:45,680
that combined with the fact that
cuckolding is now one of the 

649
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,480
most searched terms, But this 
was very surprising to me that, 

650
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:52,800
you know the polyamory and 
consensual non monogamy are 

651
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:56,440
being researched extensively, 
not swinging. 

652
00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:00,400
It's very interesting to me. 
That's very interesting because 

653
00:39:00,400 --> 00:39:01,040
it. 
Is a switch. 

654
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,880
It's a switch. 
Yeah, but it, like I said it is,

655
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,320
it's going to be women sharing 
their story with other women for

656
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:12,440
this to really gain traction. 
Because if you go online and and

657
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,280
search cuckolding, you're going 
to come up with all sorts of 

658
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:19,600
crazy stuff. 
Because let's face it, 99% of 

659
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:25,000
all of the cuckolding content 
online is produced by men and 

660
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,960
made for men for male 
consumption. 

661
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,680
So this is not for us and it is 
not made for us. 

662
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,920
It's not, it's not with for 
women in mind. 

663
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:39,480
And so yes, it turns on men a 
lot and is sure it might turn on

664
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,440
some women and stuff, but it 
this is not, this was not 

665
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:46,640
created for the woman's 
reaction. 

666
00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,400
It just was not. 
And so the more content we have 

667
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,240
online, like you were saying 
your blog and your podcast and 

668
00:39:54,240 --> 00:39:57,240
all of the other amazing 
incredible women articulate 

669
00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:00,520
women out there who are 
expressing this in a very kind 

670
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:05,240
of real way, it's going to be 
that that brings women to a 

671
00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:07,920
place where they could say oh 
OK, that's that doesn't sound 

672
00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:10,440
all that weird. 
Like if you just talk about it 

673
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,840
as A1 sided open relationship 
and that's it. 

674
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:18,640
Like, never mind the. 
Like kinky stuff, like just A1 

675
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:23,040
sided open relationship where 
he's monogamous to you and you 

676
00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,320
are not to him and you both love
it that way. 

677
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,520
Period. 
You talk about it like that in 

678
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,560
simple terms and women can 
relate. 

679
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,600
They're like, Oh well that 
sounds amazing. 

680
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,600
Delicious. 
Yes, delicious. 

681
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,120
Sign me up. 
I just want one of those. 

682
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,960
If we have those conversations 
in a very normal way like that 

683
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:49,440
and and you know, phrase it in a
normal way like that, then I 

684
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:53,320
think that that more women will 
be interested in it. 

685
00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:57,480
But it's also reaching those 
women is another difficult. 

686
00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:03,440
Thing And so that brings us to 
why Venus and I both podcast and

687
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:08,600
write and discuss because you 
know, this is for me, I, I it's 

688
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:12,000
it's an act of service. 
I found such joy here. 

689
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:16,880
I can't imagine sitting on this 
and not sharing it with you 

690
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,040
know, I'm just starting now to 
talk to my friends. 

691
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:23,080
Which is weird because, you 
know, in the early stages I felt

692
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:28,520
so guarded, like I didn't want 
any of our close friends to know

693
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:32,640
that we're doing this thing. 
And I'm coming out of that box 

694
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,280
because I'm seeing that this in 
a many ways is going kind of 

695
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:37,480
mainstream. 
But I don't. 

696
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,760
I want to share the joy. 
I mean, if I think of all the 

697
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:45,400
women that I coach through 
divorce, I'm trying to think 

698
00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,040
back. 
You know, I I couldn't possibly 

699
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,960
put a number to it. 
But how many of those women 

700
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,320
could have possibly stayed 
married? 

701
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,960
I include myself in that group. 
If I would have had this kind of

702
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,440
an arrangement, I probably 
wouldn't have divorced before 

703
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:02,440
because, you know, he could go 
do his thing and travel and be 

704
00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:04,800
gone a lot. 
And, you know, I do my thing and

705
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:07,080
you know, we just do life a 
different way. 

706
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:13,240
But you know, the default for 
most people is to cheat and 

707
00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,240
divorce. 
So when you look at and when you

708
00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:19,640
look at that, you know people 
get married with an expectation 

709
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:25,920
of monogamous marriage, 50% of 
those fail and another 28% 

710
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,360
cheap. 
So when you're in a, when you're

711
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:32,480
in a construct that has a 78% 
failure rate, is that a 

712
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,600
construct that's worth pursuing?
I mean do you want to bank your 

713
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:40,400
whole future on that? 
And so those are some of the 

714
00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:44,520
questions that you can you can 
think about on your own and 

715
00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,720
possibly talk with your partner.
And this is one other thing that

716
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:51,600
I I've shared on almost 
everything that I've that I've 

717
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:57,360
written or potted on one of my 
I'm a huge fangirl of Estera 

718
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:00,440
perel. 
I think she's just such a she's 

719
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,840
just such an astute relationship
expert. 

720
00:43:02,840 --> 00:43:06,440
But she said something. 
I heard her a couple years ago. 

721
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,520
It was in one of her Ted talks. 
She said all men and all women 

722
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,680
have two core conflicting needs.
We all have the need for safety 

723
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,080
and security in our 
relationships and we all have a 

724
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:20,400
need for change and adventure. 
And how you reconcile those two 

725
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:24,440
will determine the strength and 
or the happiness of your 

726
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:28,320
relationship. 
And it's that quote that she had

727
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,800
is absolutely borne out in these
statistics. 

728
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,080
Women, you know, you, you 
initially go into the 

729
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,640
relationship, you want to build 
your nest and so your your main 

730
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,720
goal is safety and security and 
you get your nest all built and 

731
00:43:42,720 --> 00:43:46,040
everything's good. 
And then eventually for one or 

732
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,720
the other, and it sounds like 
mostly for the women, it happens

733
00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:53,400
first she this need for change 
and adventure starts to assert 

734
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,400
itself. 
It's not like it wasn't there, 

735
00:43:55,400 --> 00:43:58,080
It's been there all along. 
But you know that first one to 

736
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,920
four years, maybe just safety is
the key thing. 

737
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:03,680
Eventually that other need is 
going to assert itself. 

738
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:07,960
And so for everyone listening 
out there, this is just an 

739
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:11,320
option. 
It may not be for you but I 

740
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,320
would encourage you in order not
to cheat or not to divorce 

741
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:19,480
consider that you have both of 
those needs and and start to you

742
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:22,160
know start to talk about some 
ways that you can address them. 

743
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,240
You might come up with a whole 
new way and if you do I hope you

744
00:44:25,240 --> 00:44:29,040
let us know because Venus and I 
would like to know we'll we'll 

745
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,120
challenge you to find anything 
better than cuckoldry But hey 

746
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:36,080
we're biased because we're 
already in the club but but 

747
00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:39,520
anyway I think that's that's I 
wish I would have had that 

748
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:46,600
perspective all the years that I
was in divorce finance because I

749
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,960
think it could have altered some
of those outcomes when people 

750
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:53,680
decide that the only way they 
can deal with their frustrations

751
00:44:53,680 --> 00:44:57,520
is to divorce or cheat and the 
cheating usually you know leads 

752
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,200
to divorce. 
So anyway, those are some of the

753
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,720
reasons. 
But any parting thoughts that 

754
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:04,680
you have, Venus, what are you, 
what do you think? 

755
00:45:05,240 --> 00:45:08,920
What would you like people to 
most take away from this today 

756
00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,320
and the gift that you've given? 
And thank you for spending your 

757
00:45:12,320 --> 00:45:13,720
time. 
I I so appreciate you. 

758
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,240
Oh yes, of course. 
I I'm so happy to be here. 

759
00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,400
Well, just to touch on what you 
just said about safety, I think 

760
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:25,080
that that is key. 
We are never going to have a 

761
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:28,080
world where women can ask for 
what they want unless they feel 

762
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:31,280
safe to do so. 
And let's face it domestic 

763
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:37,760
violence is is huge and for some
women bringing up this subject 

764
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:42,080
is dangerous. 
And so I think and also for 

765
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:46,560
single women who who like 
myself, who put ourselves out 

766
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:49,240
there and we speak openly about 
in you know fostering and 

767
00:45:49,240 --> 00:45:52,040
encouraging sexual empowerment 
and women. 

768
00:45:52,640 --> 00:45:58,040
We by doing so we automatically 
put a target on ourselves from 

769
00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:02,320
the hatred and vitriol from 
these male supremacists out 

770
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:07,600
there who really despise women, 
who who take on this this kind 

771
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,440
of empowerment. 
And so I think that we in order 

772
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:17,520
to really have this as a as a 
as. 

773
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,800
A an option for women. 
We need to provide a space that 

774
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:27,680
is safe for women to want this 
and so, and I bring that up 

775
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,560
because I find that safety is 
not something very often thought

776
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:34,600
about, talked about or 
considered in this lifestyle. 

777
00:46:34,880 --> 00:46:38,080
Which is really shitty because 
it's a big part of it. 

778
00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,000
Whether it be the safety of your
relationship, your emotional, 

779
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:44,960
emotional safety, your health 
and well-being, your that 

780
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,840
physical safety, all of those 
kinds of things are necessary. 

781
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:52,520
And so I think that we, while 
speaking about this kind of 

782
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,800
relationship dynamic, do really 
need to foster that kind of 

783
00:46:55,800 --> 00:47:01,240
culture of safety within it for 
women to really feel comfortable

784
00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:05,680
in this role of asking for what 
they want and getting what they 

785
00:47:05,680 --> 00:47:08,280
want. 
And and and I just. 

786
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:11,320
I'm also saying that because for
the listeners, for all of the 

787
00:47:11,320 --> 00:47:14,240
men out there, I do really want 
you to be aware that this is a 

788
00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:18,600
significant challenge for women.
Still to this day, we still have

789
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:24,320
to worry about our safety a lot 
just by random stalkers and 

790
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:27,320
people who just want to kill you
because you're a woman and all 

791
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:30,160
of these kinds of things. 
Just please be aware that this 

792
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:34,760
is a thing. 
And I would love if more of the 

793
00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,840
men who really do love and want 
and appreciate this kind of 

794
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:42,080
relationship to really stand up 
for the women out there who put 

795
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:45,120
themselves out there and help 
them out when they're having 

796
00:47:45,120 --> 00:47:47,520
issues with safety. 
So that's why I'm saying that. 

797
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:53,280
But for a take away for for 
people, when it comes to loving,

798
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,480
cuckolding relationships, I I 
just there's just one thing for 

799
00:47:57,480 --> 00:47:59,520
the single guys. 
Please just focus on a 

800
00:47:59,520 --> 00:48:04,120
relationship and not a sexual 
act And that's the key. 

801
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,440
So in the matchmaking program 
these guys are not allowed to 

802
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,600
talk about cuckolding in the 
first bit at all and that's so. 

803
00:48:10,720 --> 00:48:13,240
And they have the hardest time 
with that because they're like, 

804
00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:17,720
but I want to talk about it and 
even and the women want to talk 

805
00:48:17,720 --> 00:48:19,480
about it too. 
But unfortunately you have to 

806
00:48:19,480 --> 00:48:22,880
build a relationship first. 
That's the way that you have to 

807
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:24,600
do the order in which you have 
to do it. 

808
00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:30,320
And so and for the couples out 
there who who are thinking about

809
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:34,160
the incorporating this or for 
the guys, the husbands who want 

810
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,400
to bring it up to the wife, 
again focus on her. 

811
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,600
This is about her. 
And if you do that, if you 

812
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:44,920
invest in her and her confidence
and her empowerment, then you 

813
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:47,440
will get everything you've ever 
dreamed of. 

814
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:50,880
But that's the that's the road 
you need to go down, is to focus

815
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:54,720
on her. 
Great, great advice, that is. 

816
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,840
That was incredibly powerful. 
I am. 

817
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,920
I'm glad you brought up the 
safety aspect, 'cause that is a 

818
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,440
real thing. 
It's not a fantasy. 

819
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:09,040
There's everybody's heard of the
incel males out there and they 

820
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:12,440
are true woman haters. 
And so we do. 

821
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:16,880
We put ourselves on the line in 
an effort to try and help other 

822
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:20,720
people find another way that 
they can have healthy and 

823
00:49:20,720 --> 00:49:24,160
satisfying relationships without
all the drama and all the 

824
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:27,480
trauma. 
But that safety issue is really 

825
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,120
a big one. 
And also your main point of 

826
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:34,440
understanding that this truly is
about relationships. 

827
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:39,280
It's a relationship style. 
It's a relationship dynamic. 

828
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:44,040
It can include, you know, 
various sexual practices. 

829
00:49:44,040 --> 00:49:49,280
But that's not really the point.
The point is freedom. 

830
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:55,560
The point is empowerment. 
The point is respect the, you 

831
00:49:55,560 --> 00:50:01,160
know, consent, all of that 
stuff, all of that stuff. 

832
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:08,480
If you provide a safe haven and 
a a safe place for your your 

833
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:12,560
woman to feel that way, I'm 
telling you it'll come back to 

834
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,200
you in spades. 
It will come back to you. 

835
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,920
It'll come back to you in ways 
that you can't imagine. 

836
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,800
Yeah and how many guys have I 
talked to who brought this up to

837
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:27,240
their wife and their wife tried 
it out loved it and and and you 

838
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:30,680
know it's been a really sexy and
fun and all this fantasy come 

839
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:34,280
true stuff. 
But how many guys have said the 

840
00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:39,440
most unexpected amazing thing 
that has happened is witnessing 

841
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:45,080
their wife really come into her 
own sexuality in this way, to 

842
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:49,960
really that confidence, that 
ability to like just, you know, 

843
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:53,280
ask for what she wants in a way 
that he's never seen before? 

844
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:58,680
That is something that I think 
is rarely talked about in the 

845
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:00,840
male fantasy world of 
cuckolding. 

846
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,880
Really, it is. 
Yeah, Isn't it? 

847
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:09,120
Isn't it so true? 
And I think the loyalty, you 

848
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:12,160
know, I'm just trying to say, 
I'm trying to identify and it's 

849
00:51:12,240 --> 00:51:14,880
actually hard to put in words 
because it's so overwhelming in 

850
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:19,240
some ways, the loyalty that I 
feel toward my husband and the 

851
00:51:19,240 --> 00:51:22,480
devotion that I feel right back 
toward him because he's so 

852
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:26,440
freely given that to me. 
I mean that creates a bond 

853
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,400
that's truly not breakable. 
It's I don't see there could be 

854
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:33,400
any circumstance on earth that 
could ever bust us up because of

855
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,760
where we've gone. 
And it's because of this 

856
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:37,880
dynamic. 
We would not be here. 

857
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,320
We would not have this kind of 
relationship had it not been 

858
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:45,520
built on a base of the idea of a
cuckold relationship. 

859
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:47,720
And so it's, I think it's a big 
deal. 

860
00:51:47,720 --> 00:51:49,960
I think it's important don't 
dismiss it. 

861
00:51:50,240 --> 00:51:54,280
Try it on mentally. 
You know read some things listen

862
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:58,440
to some podcasts. 
I think that matchmaking service

863
00:51:58,440 --> 00:52:00,400
is brilliant. 
I predict that you're going to 

864
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:03,080
be so busy that none of us will 
be able to talk to you anymore 

865
00:52:05,600 --> 00:52:08,680
because you'll be too busy. 
But I I'm so, I'm so grateful 

866
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,760
for that because it is. 
I think it's badly needed and I 

867
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:16,160
intend on referring everybody 
that I can find to you because I

868
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:19,880
know that you have the right 
ideas about what a loving 

869
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:23,080
cuckold relationship truly is 
and all the benefits that both 

870
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,960
parties get out of it. 
It isn't A1 sided thing, it's 

871
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:31,560
only it's only one sided in one 
aspect, but the rest of it is 

872
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,720
both sides all the way. 
Yeah, absolutely. 

873
00:52:34,720 --> 00:52:37,600
It's very much A2 Way St. and 
that's what people automatically

874
00:52:37,600 --> 00:52:38,880
think. 
Oh, that's so unfair. 

875
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:41,000
She gets to do all of that when 
he doesn't. 

876
00:52:41,000 --> 00:52:42,440
Why would you want that? 
When? 

877
00:52:42,440 --> 00:52:45,800
No, no, no, no, no. 
This kind of sexual fulfillment 

878
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,760
and satisfaction, it definitely 
goes both ways. 

879
00:52:48,760 --> 00:52:50,320
Like it is. 
It's massive. 

880
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,720
And I think there's this 
misunderstanding from a lot of 

881
00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:57,880
men that if they give their wife
this gift of sexual exploration 

882
00:52:57,880 --> 00:53:00,840
with others, that she will lose 
respect for him. 

883
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:03,160
Or, you know, she won't love him
over time. 

884
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:05,200
She won't love him. 
She won't feel connected with 

885
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:07,560
him or what they don't realize. 
Yeah. 

886
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:10,400
What they don't realize is what 
exactly you were just saying. 

887
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:14,280
And that that kind of bond that 
you have is so strong because 

888
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:16,920
you appreciate that he's given 
this to you. 

889
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,480
You appreciate it so much 
because you know how much that 

890
00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:24,480
is worth And so trying to get 
that across to men so they don't

891
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:28,720
feel so insecure about about 
that step is important because 

892
00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:31,560
if you look online at porn and 
if you look at a lot of the porn

893
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,840
scripts and stuff, it is about 
disrespect. 

894
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:39,840
It is about about degradation. 
And and I can understand how 

895
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:43,040
they would think, Oh, well, you 
know, over time she would not 

896
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:47,080
look at me like, like a partner 
anymore, you know, that kind of 

897
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:48,720
thing. 
So there's a lot of work that 

898
00:53:48,720 --> 00:53:51,440
needs to be done. 
There's a long ways to go. 

899
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:53,760
But I think that we're making 
good progress. 

900
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:57,480
And I do think that it is going 
to come down to the women really

901
00:53:57,480 --> 00:54:00,800
taking charge of this and taking
control of it and saying, hey, 

902
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:03,360
look, no, this is an amazing 
kind of relationship. 

903
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:07,320
Let me share my story and with 
other women. 

904
00:54:07,520 --> 00:54:09,640
And so I think that's where we 
need to go. 

905
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:12,440
Yeah, I couldn't agree with you 
more. 

906
00:54:12,520 --> 00:54:19,000
Thank you so, so, so, so much. 
I would have you tell people 

907
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,560
where to find you, Venus, your 
website and your and your 

908
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:26,120
matchmaking service so that they
can go read your stuff and and 

909
00:54:26,240 --> 00:54:27,880
listen. 
Because you really have such 

910
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:32,280
good, such good ideas and really
in a very wholesome holistic way

911
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:34,760
which is priceless. 
Yeah, sure. 

912
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:39,640
So venuscuckoldress.com is where
you can find the podcast. 

913
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:43,480
The podcast is on basically all 
of the podcast platforms. 

914
00:54:43,480 --> 00:54:46,680
So wherever you get your podcast
from, you'll be able to find it.

915
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:51,040
The Venus Cuckoldress Podcast. 
And it is funny enough, my 

916
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:54,680
little podcast about just 
cuckolding is like one of the 

917
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:57,320
most popular in the world. 
Go figure. 

918
00:54:58,080 --> 00:55:00,720
So we want to talk about 
popularity of cuckolding. 

919
00:55:00,720 --> 00:55:06,160
I mean, that's all I talked 
about, yeah, there you go. 

920
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:09,400
And and for the matchmaking 
service, it is 

921
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:15,000
venusconnections.com and on that
website there is a landing page 

922
00:55:15,320 --> 00:55:19,280
for women who are curious about 
learning about cuckolding. 

923
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,960
So the the page is called What 
Women Need to Know. 

924
00:55:23,240 --> 00:55:26,880
And that is where men or anyone 
can send women. 

925
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:30,160
Say, hey, you want to learn what
this kind of relationship is all

926
00:55:30,280 --> 00:55:33,400
all about, just go to that page.
And it's just some videos. 

927
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:35,600
I'm explaining it. 
I'm talking about them. 

928
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,000
There's some resources for them 
to to look up. 

929
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:39,760
You know what this is all about,
the kind of thing. 

930
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:43,000
So that's really important. 
So that's venusconnections.com. 

931
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:47,320
You can also find me on Twitter.
My handle is at Cuckoldrous V. 

932
00:55:48,320 --> 00:55:52,800
That you know, for guys that are
just wondering how am I going to

933
00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:56,680
learn how to talk about this 
correctly to my wife since 

934
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,360
obviously I've been doing it the
wrong way as she just pointed 

935
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:03,760
out that page that she just 
mentioned for women, What a 

936
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:07,040
great way she just took it off 
your hands, dudes. 

937
00:56:07,560 --> 00:56:11,120
Send them, send them over there.
Let somebody who knows what the 

938
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:16,120
heck she's talking about. 
Let her explain what women can 

939
00:56:16,120 --> 00:56:19,920
benefit from out of this. 
Because then it takes it takes 

940
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:22,080
the onus off you. 
And but then you have a basis to

941
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:24,120
discuss that that's how you 
start. 

942
00:56:24,360 --> 00:56:28,000
That's how you start. 
So thank you. 

943
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,360
I'm forever in your debt. 
Venus. 

944
00:56:31,240 --> 00:56:35,560
You guys can find me. 
I am at where am I? 

945
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,240
I don't know. 
Where are you? 

946
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:47,840
I am Beyond Monogamy is my 
podcast with Crystal and again 

947
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,320
you can find that wherever you 
reach your podcast. 

948
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:55,760
My website iscrystalwelch.com 
although you can find me on 

949
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,160
medium too. 
I typically post there 1st and 

950
00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:06,440
that is I wish I knew. 
I think it's Crystal Welch 99, 

951
00:57:06,440 --> 00:57:08,840
but I'll clarify that if that's 
not right. 

952
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:12,400
But anyway, those are some ways 
that you can reach out to us. 

953
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:16,520
But she's got a boatload of 
great resources that will help 

954
00:57:16,520 --> 00:57:21,960
you at least learn about this 
and have a way to start 

955
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:26,760
conversations and have a place 
for your partner to go to get 

956
00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:31,000
the right kind of coaching. 
It's just it's just golden. 

957
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,880
And I'm so, I'm so appreciative 
that you spent a few minutes 

958
00:57:34,480 --> 00:57:35,680
with me. 
Thank you so much. 

959
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:37,800
We're going to do this again. 
We're going to pick up some 

960
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:40,120
other topic and we're going to 
keep rolling here one of these 

961
00:57:40,120 --> 00:57:41,720
days. 
But I really just appreciate you

962
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:45,440
making some time today for this.
Thank you so much for having me.

963
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:49,080
Hugely, hugely valuable. 
So we're signing off guys. 

964
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:53,320
Ping us if you have questions 
and that's it for now. 

965
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:58,520
Thank you for tuning in. 
You can access Crystal's latest 

966
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:03,280
blog and podcast at C Welch Poly
on Medium and find her on 

967
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:07,760
Twitter at Crystal Welch 99. 
Your questions and comments are 

968
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:10,440
always welcome. 
Also, if you're enjoying the 

969
00:58:10,440 --> 00:58:14,080
show, please feel free to rate, 
subscribe, or leave a review 

970
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:15,960
wherever you listen to your 
podcasts. 

971
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:19,760
We appreciate it and we'll catch
you in the next episode.