welcome The to game master Monday, the podcast that plays a
new one shot in a new system with a new cast every episode
I'm Grant your game master and today we're playing Midwestern
moms by Brandy rose at cutest patoot games and my players are.
I will be Susan Begay, and our pronouns are she her.
Hi, I'm Kelly. I use she they pronouns and
tonight I will be playing Rhys Bennett, who uses she her
pronouns and I'm Grant already said it, so I'm going to say it
too. I'm going to refer to her mom
archetype as the Lorelei mom. And yes, that is a Gilmore Girls
reference, so gather what you will from that.
The Amy Sherman Palladino mom, if you will.
Hi, I'm Zoe. My pronouns are she her.
I will be playing Master Chef Carol Smith also she her.
I am so excited to be playing this game.
Let me tell you about Midwestern moms.
This is a hack of the Verhex Knockmull system, and what we're
basically doing here today is all of our players have 1D6 in
our game. They're going to be asked to
make roles to deal with certain situations.
One and two roles are failures, 3 and fours are mixed successes,
and five and sixes are regular successes.
Each of our moms cedar today have a + 1 attribute and a -, 1
attribute. If any challenge they face has
anything to do with either of them, they will apply that to
their dice rolls. Our moms, like many moms out
there, can also get stress points during this game.
And if they hit nine of those stress points, well, they're
going to just have to take a driver on the block and cool off
about it. And that's about all you need to
know for this game. The only question I have left
for the rest of you is are you all excited?
Oh. Yeah, I'm.
Excited. I don't know why.
That's not my character voice, I promise.
We. Are setting an interesting vibe
in the studio here tonight and I am here for it.
Let's begin the adventure. We open on Midwest City, a very
middle centered kind of western locale in the Midwestern United
States, and there's a nice little small town, lots of
suburbs in this place. Everyone here is doing their
best. It snows here a lot, but the
people here are really nice. And we have a high school in
Midwest City, and as you may have guessed, it's Midwest West
High School. And there are teens who go to
the Midwest High School. And those teens, many of those
teens have moms. And we're going to meet some of
those moms as they get ready for their exciting day of motherhood
for teenage children. And I'm going to roll to see
which one of you is going to do your morning routine first.
Zoe, this is a, a normal school day.
A few things you know about today.
You have your regular children, you have your husband.
And you know that tonight you're going to be attending parents
night at Midwestern High School. But before you can even think
about that, we got to get you up and ready.
We, we enter your home and you are fast asleep.
The alarm has not gone off yet. Tell me a bit about Carol Smith
and her home and how does she sleep before her day starts?
Carol's Home is a It's very colorful, mostly in pastels,
like powder Blues sort of vibes. It always smells like chocolate
chip cookies. Nana's recipe, of course, but no
one does it better except for me.
She is fast asleep, is a real heavy sleeper.
Zonked, absolutely zonked in her massive California king size
bed, which you can afford when you are a private chef.
She's a side sleeper. Her husband Jim is on the other
side of the bed. She gets hot really easily fast
asleep. It's she does probably get up
early, but you know, she likes to take a little nap.
Which is actually sleep. You are sound asleep and then,
as it does every morning, so aggressively, so rudely, your
alarm goes off. Carol, you have a quite a few
children. Your oldest, Sarah, is the one
that gets ready for school in the morning first, so I want you
to walk me through it here. This is a regular Monday morning
of the school week. You are still driving.
Sarah doesn't have her license just yet.
She's only 15. So First things first, alarm
goes off. Where is Carol going?
What's her game plan? Straight out of bed, Definitely
a morning person smacks the alarm straight into the kitchen
to get coffee. You go into the kitchen to make
coffee. What's your kitchen like?
So it's state-of-the-art. And by state-of-the-art, I mean
there is a singular gas stove, there are two ovens.
There is a microwave that has been passed down for
generations. There's a crock pot that is
always cooking something. But there's we don't do Keurigs
in this house. We do French press, iced coffee
in the mornings. I'll pour me a cup.
I'll pour Sarah a cup, even though it might not be, you
know, the best for a 15 year old.
But it's fine. She's tall enough, coffee won't
stand her growth anymore. And then I'll start packing
lunches. Great.
Is, is, is, is Sarah an early riser with you or it does it
take a little bit more effort to get her out of bed?
It doesn't take very much effort.
I let her sleep in a little bit, but she generally is pretty good
about getting herself up. So you start making your lunches
and we're just going to meet some of the members of your
family married to Jim. Tell me about Jim.
Is he part of the morning routine at all?
As late as possible, gets up 5 minutes before he has to be in
the car on his way to work. Which is fine.
I mean, I enjoy the cooking. It's a little bit of me time.
It's peace and quiet. So he'll get up when he gets up.
That's fine. I'll be making like pancakes and
eggs and bacon. Huge feast for the family and
set the table because you know you share your love through
food. So you're making the food, the
the smells are wafting through. You are a master chef.
Your family is eating well every single day, whether they
appreciate it or not. Before we meet Sarah, would your
your twin boys? Would Brett and Hunter be the
kind of folks the smell the bacon and run downstairs?
Yeah, it's like Tom and Jerry cartooning, smell the pie.
They come like floating down the stairs kind of thing.
It's it's it's always the bacon. The bacon and the Maple sausage.
That's what gets them out of bed in the morning.
Me too, I'll be there. Same.
I want to be in this house. God damn.
Brett and Hunter appear first downstairs.
They're they're twin boys. They are immediately down there.
You give the Tom and Jerry energy here for me.
So I just assumed they're like, you know, 2 wolves appearing
before you. They're they're growing hungry
children. They're like just immediately
ravaging in there. What, what do we do?
We say anything to Bretton Hunter?
Or are they just kind of like the hurricane you live with?
They are definitely the hurricane I live with, the type
that will like snap a Lego in half with their bare hands.
They're absolute terrorists. I love them to death.
I'm not talking to them before I finish my coffee.
Almost as if they can sense it. Like Brett looks up first with
like half a pancake dangling out of his mouth.
He's like, oh mom, I keep forgetting.
So I have to get like a big poster board for school.
Like, the science fair is tomorrow, so I got to get a big
poster board. And then Hunter looks up with
like a pancake. And others have his mother.
Oh yeah, me too, because we're in the same class.
Yes, of course. But I've anticipated this.
I pull out two giant poster boards from behind the fridge.
They are beautifully filled out with the help of Sarah.
As old projects. But you know, they're definitely
not the same and they will get A's because that's the.
Haircut, they, they both go whoa at the same time and grab one,
and then they're reading over it and Brett looks at Hunter and
goes, dude, we could like, do that one thing we always wanted
to do. Oh, we're like, you put like a
bunch of sand into a Rice Krispies and see how long it
takes someone to notice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They run upstairs. I'm sorry.
About the time they run upstairs, you just hear Sarah
go, oh God, get out of the way. And then she appears from the
stairs. It's kind of like looking at
that. You, as tired as you are, like
hand out as if she's ready for the coffee.
Handing the coffee. We're going to drink this in
silence. We know that nobody speaks to
anybody before coffee is hot. Would you say Sarah takes more
after you or Jim? Probably me.
So she she sit there, she's sipping at her coffee.
She's like scrolling through her phone, occasionally looking up
at you, like her eyes half open and then looking back down at
her phone. And she goes, Can I just stay
home today? Absolutely not.
That is not an option. We are going to school.
Worth a shot I guess. OK, can I drive at least?
We'll talk about it on our way to school while I drive you.
That seems like a really. We'll talk about it an.
Opportune time. OK, sure.
Can I have a pancake? Yeah, sure, I'll make up.
I'll make up a huge stack. I'll give her like 5 pancakes.
Ravages through them and and only the way a teenager can
regardless of like gender out there, all teenagers hungry.
So just like going through it puts her fork down.
You, you eventually hear your husband, like, hop out of bed,
which is kind of like your timer going off, like, all right,
well, Jim's finally awake, so it's time to drive Sarah, I
guess. I have a packed lunch and
breakfast for him because I know that he is running out the door.
He has no time to do anything but maybe give me a quick kiss
and then he's gone. Oh absolutely.
He like runs downstairs like putting a tie on like really
like hastily. It's like overslept again thank
you my to a Peck on the cheek runs out the door.
You drive Sarah to school, you drop her off.
She says I love you really quietly as she gets out of the
door, runs off with her friends. You have time now we're going to
assume all kids have been taken to school.
Brett and Hunter kept talking about sand and Rice Krispies in
the back seat of your car on the way to there elementary school.
What is the rest of your day like?
What is a normal Carol Smith day?
Well this is not normal but the sand concerns me so I am going
to go home and check their room. You see like a meme pulled up
like on like it's like a family computer.
So it's not like, you know, one of those like seat, like I gave
my 10 year old boys a computer to keep in their room.
It's like password locked and all of that.
But like there's a there's a meme on there that's just like
that. That kid standing in front of a
science board and it says how much sand can I sneak into a
Rice Krispie treat before anyone notices?
And that's about it. It seems they're going off of
vibes. I'm terrified.
Do I want to know? Do I want to know?
You know what I don't want to know?
Instead, I'm going to go down my To Do List.
I have some shopping to do, groceries for me and clients.
Of course, you know only the best.
I'm sure that somebody's going to spring a break bake sale on
me, so I'll need to make all of the cookies, all of the
brownies, all of the sweet stuff.
It sounds like Carol is locked in for baking for the rest of
the day, so we're going to rewind back in time.
Eventually we will see Carol again at the parents night at
Midwestern High School, but now we're going to a different
house. Abby, tell me about the home of
Susan Begay. Oh boy.
So Susan is a nurse. She's just gotten home.
It is 3:00 AM. My day isn't over.
It's. Far from over.
Kids are going to be wake up five.
So I need to get everything cooked.
You know, you know, it's it's supposed to be my hot girl
summer. That's what they say on
Facebook. But right now hot girl summer
has to stay back because right now divorce court summer is
happening right now. So as I'm heating up lunches,
I'm doing you, my daughter Eliza, she's really gotten into
like these Japanese snack boxes, I think they're called benti
boxes, something like that. I don't know.
But as I'm making it, you know, putting in her little meals, I'm
scrolling Facebook on my phone. And my fucking ex-husband, you
know, he's out there with his snag.
Oscar Lena, you know, bless that girl's heart, really.
But she's looking for love in all the wrong places because my
friend Ashley, she posted this on Facebook.
She said, oh, I saw Oscar lean outside him with the casino.
She got on his car. She was holding his hand.
And then she posted a thing on her Snapchat where she was
showing his hand. And I knew it was him.
You know why? Because he had the he had the
little mark from where his wedding ring used to be.
Yeah, I, I'll just keep going on and on about this as I'm
scrolling. Probably my daughter wakes up.
She's like, oh, yeah, I got your Benti box packed over there.
And make sure your brothers are awake.
I know they're playing the Minecraft all night, but it's a
school night. You you check your your, your,
your clock. You've been on Facebook and
Snapchat and Instagram and cross referencing all of these places
and it's already 6:00 AM. Your your time to to wind down
from the from the shift has has disappeared into your phone and
you hear the second knock on your door and it's from Eliza.
It's just like mom. I told them to get off the
computer and they told me that I should go eat eggs or suck eggs.
Is that a thing kids are saying? I swear This is why I'm trying
to get full custody. Honey, you just get ready.
Your benti box is on the counter right there.
Bento. Dear brothers.
Ben, Ben Box. OK, I hear.
You mom, it's it's it's two, it's it's 2 syllables and it's
from Japan, right? Thank you.
Right like your like your cartoons.
Yeah I love you so much sweetheart.
And I pull her in for a big ol hug.
You get ready for the day, OK? How do you?
I'm going to go handle those little, little men.
Did you sleep this time? I got a nap during my lunch.
Just a second. Hey, you're my daughter.
It's not your not your concern what your mother does, OK?
Do you want me to drive Jake today or are you good?
I mean, if you really, really loved your mom and like, you
know, the woman who gave you a life and carried you in for 9
days and 48 days, yeah, that was you were over.
I would be very appreciate. I'll get you something from,
what's it called, the Dutchie brothers.
Yeah, I'll get you a drink. OK, I'll drive Jake then.
For the mother who carried me for nine months and 48 days.
That's my girl. Yep, Jake, hurry up.
And you just hear like, like a fumbling of like a desk and
there's some things falling, like one second.
Oh. My gosh, he's trying to be on
you on the YouTube streaming and stuff.
I'm like, you better get down here or else we're going to have
another discussion about the Internet going away.
I don't want to talk about the Internet going away anymore.
Oh. My God Creator preserved.
Me, I am just going to get out of my scrubs at the very least
get into something cozy. I I'm just getting into my
cookie monster pajama bottoms. One of the shirts that I took
for my husband. You know, we're separating right
now. It's supposed to be hot girl
summer. But I will say good taste in
man's. I got my Iron Maiden shirt on,
glasses, have a Red Bull just watching as the kids had done
the stairs. OK everyone are we all lined up?
You don't got nits in your hair or nothing.
Be ready to go to school. Be ready to succeed today.
Your 12 year old raises his hand.
Yes. What's a NIT?
And I. Go over and rustle his hair.
It's when you don't clean your hair like your dad.
OK, I think I did that. Yeah, like he's not greasy like
fried bread. It's all good.
All right, You guys get dressed your lunches or in the fridge.
You have your phones charged. Make sure there's already.
And if you're going out tonight, tell me where you are, right?
Eliza, mom, we're with you tonight.
Remember the parents night? Oh my gosh, it's Wednesday.
I've been working. Monday, Mom, 20.
My I've been doing too many 12 hours just and telling me we got
to go to Disneyland at some point.
Just all. Four of us.
Tobias starts jumping up and down like, Oh yeah, yeah, let's
do that, let's go now. Toby, we got school.
Let's focus on that, OK? All right.
OK, you kids, get ready. We'll be your sister driving
you. I'm going to take a nap on the
couch. Jake goes Oh my God, Eliza's
driving, I don't want to go anymore.
Just smacks him in the back of the head like come on.
I just, with a very overwhelmed sigh, plump down the chair.
I'll be awake in a little bit, tell me if anything happens.
I hope I don't get any calls from the principal.
Yeah, Eliza takes Jake and Toby drops Toby off at his school
first, a little bit early but that's what safe keys for, and
takes herself and Jake to Midwest High School.
And you catch AZ or three on on your couch.
You do have time before the parents night and this is your
chance to catch up on sleep and anything else that needs doing.
What is a Susan BA Day like without the kids in the house
while they're at school? So Susan, once she wakes up from
her nap, she's recovered you checks her phone not being
called in. She did request today off Thank
God her recruiter hasn't called again to just travel nursing or
all that. So getting all your documents in
order, making sure gas is topped off.
And of course there's text from her soon to be ex-husband.
There's Stan. Let's talk about custody.
He wants to talk about bringing the kids over for the weekend.
I'm ignoring that for now. I have got those screenshots.
You know, that's this whole thing with screenshotting.
I just learned how to do it. You know, Eliza showed me.
I got all those pictures of him and his snag Oscar Lena.
I'm going to get those ready to the lawyer, but I got to figure
out how to do the e-mail first. So that's going to be my day.
Because you know, it's not like a hospital automated system.
Not just you press a few buttons.
It's like, you know, when we used to have pagers, that was
great. That was simple.
Now there's like. This this.
Phishing thing. I don't know what that's all
about, but I'm just, you know, very slowly typing in the
e-mail, one letter, one finger at a time.
To. My attorney we're going to get
full custody by God as I'm getting through my second red
bowl of the day and then I'll look at the clock.
Got to get ready for this parent night.
I'm cutting my own bangs in the mirror like goodbye horses is
playing because I'm saying, Oh yeah, we're going to do with the
deadly anti banging bangs, Not the not the snagging ones, the
deadly empty ones, like the ones that say that my lumbar
vertebrae really hurt and I need to lay down for the night.
And I have like really bright makeup on, you know, the same
makeup that I I'm expecting to see my husband because he is
going to be there. You know, we got to be there for
the kids, but I am going to look deadly, you know, black blouse,
leather pants. Is it appropriate for Parents
Night? Yeah, it covers everything, but
Oh my God, I'm going to be the most snaggable auntie in the
room. We see Susan be gay, for better
or for worse. Get ready for her day and
prepare for parents night with her teens Jake and Eliza and
Abby one more time. What was your ex's name?
Because now, if he's coming to parent tonight, yes.
Fucking Stan be gay. We have the same last name but
you know, not related. We checked clans and everything.
Oh, you just happen to have the same last names before marriage?
We're Navajo, everyone he's either associate, a big gay, a
Mitchell, a Yazzie. That's the five names you
shouldn't go to basketball games.
Oh my gosh, it's just the same 5 people passing the ball if you
just listen to the announcer. We see Susan Begay get ready for
her day, preparing to encounter her ex, stand at parents night
making sure Eliza and Jake are actually ready to go.
But we're going backwards in time one more time because there
is one more home we need to visit and that is the home of
Reece Bennett. Once again.
It is the early morning. You are in sleep.
Reece, tell me about your home. Tell me how you sleep.
Tell. Me tell you how I sleep.
OK, so I think I think the home is it's it doesn't look
necessarily look like the home of your a standard 32 year old
woman, mostly because, you know, Reese and her daughter are best
friends and it's Tori's house just as much as it is hers.
So you see like different decorations, different stylings,
just kind of meshed mashed together.
Not everything makes sense, but all of it is very Reese and
Tory. Like they have like fun little
movie posters in the living room and and it's just and like
different pictures and collections on the refrigerator
of like her friends from school and then their pictures
together, like when they've gone to like theme parks or done like
silly little poses or selfies together, like all on the
mantle. It's a lot of them.
The house is themed around Reese and Tory.
How does Reese sleep? Not well.
She had a she had a very late night.
She works at a local inn called the River Wind Inn, and
unfortunately the pipes burst last night and she was up very,
very late with the plumber. They're making sure everything
was fixed by today because we had a huge group coming in and I
simply could not have them come in and not have every have
everything be ready because I am the general manager and it's
kind of my job. So she was out until the wee
hours of the morning until it was fixed.
She called every plumber in town to see who would be even be
willing to come out and it was not fun.
As so she is sprawled out on her bed, makeup still on, smeared
all over her pillow. Hair is cute, sticking up at odd
angles. Fell asleep and her outfit from
last night didn't even change when she got home from work.
Was just too exhausted to even think to do so.
Are you a let the alarm wake me up person or a my daughter will
come get me when it's time person?
Oh, oh, I think you know Grant. I think you know which one.
I think you know I. Reese sets her alarm with the
absolute best intentions. Tori is her alarm clock 1000%.
There is an alarm going off that a a zonked, unbothered Reese
Bennett, and you eventually hear your door open.
And then really only the way a young mom can, you're going to
just pretend you're still asleep and didn't hear that to see what
exactly Tori will do. And you feel like a whole body,
like sitting next to you. And then you feel your body
being shaken. And she's like, mom, mom, mom,
tell me it's not time, mom, mom. Tori No, I can't.
Yes, we have to. God, it's important.
What? Time is it?
It is time for you to wake up and eat this pop tart and get in
the car and for us to go to school and for us listen to Echo
and the Bunny Men and then we'll talk about whatever you want to
talk about. OK, that sounds good.
Thank you for the pop tart, sweetie.
You're welcome, I love it. Strawberry.
Oh, you know me so well. Thank you.
Yeah. Is there coffee?
It's a good thing it's your favorite.
There's always coffee. I made it already.
Oh, you're perfect. Thank you.
You head, you head downstairs. As promised, there is coffee
ready for you. Tori is already dressed for the
day. What is your morning routine now
that you're conscious like with Tori?
Well, I think we just morning routine.
We actually do talk in the morning even though I'm only
half functioning. I'm so busy with work and I kind
of, you know, I treasure this time with her even though it's
sleepy and we're just only half alive right now.
I asked about her day. I asked her like, like who you
going to see at school today? Do you have any plans with so
and so later? I'm trying to get the layout of
her day so I can fit into her life like she fits in the mind.
So. Well, I have.
I have that test in first period which I studied all night for.
I'm feeling pretty good about it.
All night. Mostly.
Oh well. Until 10, OK.
That's not terrible, just making sure, OK.
Yeah, I was reading somewhere that like, if you don't get
enough sleep, then you don't do as well at school.
And if you don't do well at school, then you don't get into
Yale. And then if you don't get into
Yale, then you don't get a good job if you don't get.
A honey, honey, honey, honey, honey.
Let's just start with, you know, you got a test today.
Right. Test today, project second
period, student aid third period.
OK, Hopefully I don't see Amber. Why?
What happened? What happened?
You things were good with Amber. Things were good with Amber.
Amber and I had a a tiff. A TIFF.
A tiff? What?
What you're first of all, you're
16 and you had a TIFF, OK. And second of all, OK, what kind
of TIFF? Well, have you never had a tiff
before? That's just, you know.
I mean, I've had, I've had, I've had plenty of tiffs, I've had my
fair share of TIFF. So I just want to know what your
particular TIFF is about you. Want to get the first level of
the game for me, Kelly? OK.
I haven't I the the you know, just in a roll of regular D6 and
since your plus one is being cool with the kids, oh that
doesn't relating more to them than you do with fellow adults.
You can add 1 to this role. I got a 5.
That is a success. She looks down and like at her
at her pop tart and then looks back up and she's like she
thinks that I like her boyfriend but I don't and I don't know how
to tell her that I don't and she just doesn't believe me.
But that OK. Well, I mean, do you like anyone
else? Like you could be kind of public
about it, you know, like, no, I. Don't do.
Public. About stuff, really.
No, I don't. Just a little public, I know.
Look the. OK, the guys at school are dumb.
All of them. All of them.
What about that one boy at the grocery store?
What about that one? He doesn't go to our school.
And he looked, but too, Oh well, I didn't know that.
And I'm not encouraging my daughter to stay 22.
You just asked about him again. OK, OK, All right, so let's just
let me think. How can we approach this?
Do you have any? I'm half asleep.
My main idea is to just hope I don't see her and then call it
an A. You were friends though, you're
just going to toss it away? Not no.
I'm just like letting it blow over, you know, give her space,
hope she doesn't see me and yell at me about it.
Wait, but why did she even develop this idea?
I don't know who knows why Amber does anything I'm.
Going to get to the bottom. Please don't.
I'll find. Out.
Oh God, don't. Worry about it, I guess I'll
find out. The time to drive Tori crosses
you take her to school, you listen to cool indie jams and
you have the rest of your day. What is a recent Bennett normal
Monday like? Before you go to this parents
night that Tori so kindly reminded you you have to go to
while you were in the car, I. Have to go to that.
I do have to go to that. It's going to be so much fun.
They like me so much there. It's great.
I think she just goes over to the river wind and makes sure
all like the the supply orders are in check, make sure
everybody is doing what they are supposed to be doing.
Maybe Kibitz is a bit with the staff.
She does have like she does have a pretty good bond with the our
our in house chef at our at our restaurant at the river window.
But yeah, you know, it's, it's nice, you know, I'm just happy I
have a job and I can support my girl.
And so you do. Now we, we Fast forward to 7:00
PM. Midwest City is a pretty, it's,
it's called city, but it's kind of a misnomer.
It's more of a bird, more of a town.
You are familiar with each other.
Heck, you might even be friends. You're all in the PTA, your kids
are all around the same age, and you're coming into the Parents
night. And as Parents Night
traditionally does, it starts with a little mini presentation
from the principal in the auditorium.
So you see a bunch of the other parents kind of clamoring
together. Carol, Jim is a shaking hand to
this buddies from rec center league basketball.
Sarah is still sitting with you. You've been kind of left alone.
You see Susan walk in of Jake and Eliza and wow, Stan came to
the stand and ever comes to these things go crazy.
And then you see Reese and Tori come in.
Like I said, you should be familiar with each other.
Maybe Stan is wandering off somewhere, kind of like judging
the refreshments or something, but the three of you, for
whatever reason, familiarity, kindness, destiny, all kind of
wind up in the same row together.
I would say destiny, but that is more like Susan pulling Carol's
arm in the moment. Still more soon she's Carol.
It's so good to see you. First of all, Oh my God, your
boys, they've grown so much. But also, I need you to hold me
back because I I swear to God, he is only showing up today.
So he looks good in court because we have a court date
next Thursday. And look at what my daughter
helped me find on Facebook. And I'm just helping you scroll
through Facebook. So I'm showing you with him,
with Oscar, Lena leaving the casino, her holding his hand.
And like, she's not, she's doing what they call the soft lunch,
right? We're like, she's she's showing
him on her Snapchat, but only his hand.
And then, like, The thing is my friend.
Yeah. So like, that's the only reason
why he's showing up today. But enough about me.
How are you doing? No talk.
Talk more about that. Interesting.
A soft lunch. Yes, soft lunch because like
there's like where you only show parts of the boyfriend.
Yeah. Eliza was telling me about this
because like one of her, one of her people, what they called
like sleepy tokens, sleepy tea, something like that.
It's one for bands where like they're soft lunching music
through all these clues. You do that with partners too.
Also, by the way, Ashley sent me this test.
It's called the Am I Gay test. And I took this, you know, just
for fun. What do you think about the
results? Like, is it just one of those
like BuzzFeed things? I don't know what it is.
Yeah, definitely. Just like one of those for fun
BuzzFeed quizzes. Definitely.
This means nothing. Tell me.
Yeah, absolutely. Also, tell me like, be real with
me. Do I look snackable?
Do these bangs make me look dumb?
Yeah, those. Bangs from your face so nicely,
you know. Which salon did you go to?
I did it my own home bathroom. That's the salon I know I.
Just just back in the 80s when? Fucking Stan.
And I meant oh you girl, girl you are.
Don't even say sweetheart. He does not deserve any
attention. This is about you really.
It's it is our night. You're absolutely right.
It's like saying a little too loudly, little too excited,
like, Oh my gosh. I mean, we're on.
We're part of PTA. He applied, you know, he didn't
make it, by the way. Oh, my God.
Is that Reese? Is that Reese?
Maybe she's not working tonight. Reese.
Hey girl, come over. Hi.
Hi, I come over. You got the night off.
Yeah, well, I mean, I didn't, but I kind of had to.
I forgot. I forgot we were doing this.
I I should have written it down on her calendar and.
I don't blame. You.
I thought it was Wednesday. You're so fun.
I've been working 3/12 hour shifts in a row.
Oh my gosh, we're lucky I'm even on the same dimension.
I thought I was about to go join creator up there.
Right. Tori points at Eliza and Sarah
and like this kind of looks at Reese and says, hey, is it cool
if Eliza and Sarah and I just like go just hang out and do the
the thing that the students have to do while you all catch up?
Is that fine? Yep, bye.
Have fun, goodbye. OK.
Yeah, of course. Mike, it's come for having mom
time. The the three teenage girls
leave, and Jake is just kind of sitting by himself, slouched
with a phone in his lap. It's kind of like playing Fruit
Ninja. Oh.
My God, him and his mind craft out.
That's all they're playing nowadays, you know, It's the
game with the blocks. It's mine mine.
Minecraft. Mine, mine, mine.
Minecraft. I think I've heard of that.
Yeah, they're one to see this movie and stuff.
But I'm telling you, Oh my gosh, because I've been on Instagram
and I've been looking at the reels, right?
And there's this whole thing with like they shout out in the
field, they brought a live chicken in there.
Can you believe that? Like, I mean, like back in my
day, like, you know, back back home, we used to like take my
grandma's sheep and like bring them to the dance hall just
because we thought it was funny. And you know, like I was calling
Mary Sue of and you, but whatever, That's crazy.
Yeah, chickens. In the theater?
That's crazy. The Minecraft movie.
Yep, the mine. It's not.
They're not bringing chickens, mom.
It's just a song. No, it's fine.
It's fine. No, I'm telling you, I saw it
and it wasn't that AI, Jake, I'm telling you they brought a live
chicken into the theater for that.
Like that chicken jockey thing? You can make fake stuff of that
AI, you know. Jake smile and nod.
It's. OK, some humor.
Here. OK, you got it Miss Smith.
I will smile and nod. That's a.
He goes back to his phone. Oh, Jake.
Oh my God, race. Wait, I need to show you what
happened on Facebook. So and I just go into race and
start showing you the whole thing with Oscar, Lena and the
casino and then. He's.
Soft launching. So soft launching?
Yeah, soft. Launching the.
Audacity. Can you believe Oscar Lena?
She's always. Looking for love in the wrong
places. She's soft launching my man.
All she is to him is a summer snack.
Anymore you don't want him. Oh no, I don't.
It's do you like this BuzzFeed quiz?
It's called Am I Gay? I took it for fun the other day.
Oh my gosh. I think it's none of this
Internet stuff's real. Oh my gosh.
Cuz who else would get 100% right?
I'm not not like RuPaul or anything.
That's pretty. That's a pretty high percent.
Yeah, you got a great grade. And gay.
Yeah, yeah. Around the time they're admiring
your high gay score, the principal of the school gets up.
This is a tall larger woman has a very like I'm in charge
presence stands at the podium goes all right parents.
Thank you all for coming to parents night.
We're thankful that you could all make it out.
We know that it is late on a Monday.
So let's get this over with. So what's going to happen today
is you're going to meet some of your kids teachers.
They're going to go over. Their grades, their
participation in class, they'll talk about how they have been
creating their curriculums and what they're teaching in the
class and they'll have open discussions.
We have refreshments here in the auditorium and in the cafeteria.
Please don't bring the cafeteria refreshments in the auditorium
because we just replaced the carpets from the last parents
night we did. So that will be it for the
evening. Your children are going to be in
the theater working on something different for you.
There'll be a presentation at the end, so this is just your
time to get to know our school and that's about all I have for
you. Enjoy the night.
You should have a schedule in your pamphlets you were given on
the way in. And at this point, I'm going to
roll AD 6 and we're going to see what scenario you moms are being
thrown into. Oh, we're figuring that out.
Do y'all want lemon bars? Trying at any recipe.
Oh my God, yes please, I had them.
Wait, this is new? Yeah, it's new.
Because I had them before and they were already great.
Yeah, I'm would this count as a soft?
Launch. This is definitely a soft Oh my
God, wait, you know, get in for a picture.
And I do like the mom picture where it's like at the end, like
front facing. Let's soft launch this girls.
Let's do this. Oh, we are so.
Completely posted to Facebook. Here is how the the the
situation arises here, gang. I'm going to have you all start
by rolling AD 6 to react to the situation that I just rolled.
And whoever rolls the highest number is going to deal with the
situation 1st. And we're going to role play our
way out of it. And whoever rolls it is going to
be the one who determines what kind of stress we're dealing.
With. So let let's see where we land,
friends. We roll to 1.
One. OK, Yeah.
I rolled at 3:00. Okay. 5.
Then Abby will be steering the ship 1st and dealing with the
situation. So, Susan, as you three are
getting ready to go about your day, go about the meetings,
maybe you've already met with the first period teacher that
your kids all share. The principal of the school
approaches the three of you and says, Miss Begay, I don't want
to make a scene or anything, but would you mind coming with me to
the principal's office? Oh.
My gosh, don't. Tell me is.
Has those kids all right? Let's go talk.
Let's go talk about it. Do you need support?
Do you need backup? Yeah, I.
Do you want us? To Yeah, look, let's let me
bring my girls we. Should definitely get that.
Definitely. Should probably also come, yes?
Terrifying. Not great.
Cool. Let's go to the.
Pool. Let's go.
Cool. Hey, do you want a lemon bar?
I'm having deja vu, yeah. I've done this.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Yes, off in the blow, soft. In the blow you were brought to
the principal's office. It kind of has like a hunting
lodge vibe to it. It's it's very brown, very
green. There's a lot of like portraits
of nature hanging on the walls. A degree from the University of
Michigan, the only good school, according to the principal.
She sits in her chair and she's like there's really no easy way
to talk about this so I'm just going and listen.
I don't even know if it's true. This is why I'm discussing it in
private and not bringing the kids into it cuz I trust the
parents to be able to handle it if you.
Would interesting. That you say parents and it's
just the three of us. Well, yeah.
Having to understand. I was, I just wanted to bring it
up to Susan in particular, but your, your, your girls might
also be involved. So I just want to make sure
we're all on the same page here. Oh my God, please don't tell me
it's this pregnancy pack thing. Oh my.
God, I'm not ready to be. A grandmother?
No, no, no. No, well, pregnancy pack.
What's a pregnancy pack? I'll.
Tell you about it later, I said on.
Facebook, please don't. I want nothing to do with any of
that. No, it's nothing.
It's nothing like that. But there have been a string of
incidents at the school. OK.
The way. You said incidents.
I've heard whispers of some of the juniors and seniors in
particular and some sophomores doing something called a Dare
club, the nature of which kind of ranges from construction of
property at school like graffiti or backing a toilet up with
toilet paper and paper towels or loosening the screws and the
cafeteria table. So it's a little bit, some of
the there's been dangerous just just kids putting themselves in
bad situations, writing on writing on things, jumping off
of the roof. My.
Sarah would never. Absolutely not.
My boys. Maybe I would, maybe I would not
to. Ever.
And listen, not to be blunt, but some of the situations may have
been a little inappropriate. Dares to publicly display
affection, if you will scene of it and feelings are getting hurt
and things are getting written on on blue sky and then Twitter
and Instagram. And I just I really did one of
those out in fellow Carol. I do really worry because
because Jake and Eliza's name come up a bit as the potential
ringleaders of the operation are at least involved and I I've
heard Tori, I've heard Sarah have participated at least, or
maybe member. From who?
Whispers.
It's, it's a, it's a school mispented, you know, kids
whisper. And there's a lot of kids at the
school. I'm going to do your job for
you, buddy, pal, friend. Let's do this all together.
So I'm going to go on this blue sky because I do have an account
on there and we're going to figure this out.
So we're going to put in like deer club and I'm going to, I
would like to roll for social media to see if I can figure out
where these rumors are coming from.
Perfect. Let me tell you how this will be
structured. So this is the situation the
three of you have been presented with.
Each of you are going to be able to navigate a scene, direct each
other through how you're going to team up and resolve the
problem while you're at the parents this night, and you're
going to go in your dice roll order.
This also automatically inflicts some stress upon you.
So, Susan, since your kids have been pointed at as the potential
ringleaders, you're starting our game off with five stress.
She says fuck, it's a. Lot of stress.
And Carol and Reese, for being looped into the situation, are
starting with four stress each. It's.
Still. A lot of strong crash out.
We're OK. Probably not literally.
Crash out potential is high scenario what?
So I'm ready. Let's do it.
So with that out of the way Susan, you are taking charge 1st
and you are doing your your specialty social media
sleuthing. Give me AD six rule add 1 to it.
Let's do it. One no in many situations we
would call that A2 your stress increases Susan at blue sky it's
for the kids it's exciting it's new all the cool kids who aren't
down with the current sickness she.
Just downloaded it too, it's so fresh.
It's so new. On A1 or A2, and I'm reading
from the book here, critical failure, you take +2 stress
bringing you to seven, and the party takes plus one stress,
bringing them to five. So you're browsing through
social media, you're trying to get to the bottom of this.
You're trying to find things like Dare Club, Midwest High
School, cross referencing on these social medias, but
nothing's coming up. And it's starting to stress you
out because at first it's like, OK, maybe it's nothing, maybe
it's fine. But then you find it.
You find what is called the finsta account of your kids.
You find one for Eliza and one for Jake.
And to be fair, Jake's is pretty benign, mostly him saying cuss
words he shouldn't be saying while uploading Minecraft
videos. You're not supposed to be
teaching him those words. And maybe he's not being the
most, you know, kind person while he plays online.
But Eliza's Instagram has weird allusions to things.
Nothing that I DS her as the leader of this daring but doing
and saying things she wouldn't normally do.
Susan, it's your kid. What would genuinely shock you
and stress you out to see on a fake Instagram account that you
did not previously know about? I got to be so real.
It'd be her because she's a good kid.
She knows she she's president of the student council.
It'd be sneaking out at night. With a boy, not a boy.
Not a boy, no. She's doing it.
She's doing the soft lunch. Look at that look.
At that zoom in, zoom in. That looks like a soft lunch to
me. That might even be a medium
lunch. Oh my God.
His arm is around her waist. I'm going to someone hold them.
Oh my. God, here, eat another lemon
bar. It's.
OK, it's OK. Too stress gets added to Susan
and then to justify the one stress for Carolyn Reese in this
fake Instagram in those sneaking out pictures, we'd also see Tori
and Sarah in those pictures. No.
That's this can't be real,
right? This.
This is that AI it. Could be.
I mean, it could be. Yeah, yeah, this is fake.
I'm telling you this. Is I'm looking for the for the
tell tale signs and I can. See.
Probably not. Yeah, sure, let's roll to see if
the teens are using Gen. AI on a fake Instagram account.
They might be. I would like, I think all three
of you to make AD 6 roll. We're going to see what level of
we're going to treat this like it's a like it's an advantage
situation. Whoever rolls the highest will
be the most informed about what goes on.
I got. A3.
A little 5. OK, 22 Carol, you know about
generative AI. You know what it looks like
because your boys Bretton Hunter got really into it for a minute
and and then you read an article about it and then you told them
to knock it off and they have. So you know how to tell when
Bretton Hunter are cheating at stuff.
So as you go through these pictures, you can say with
clarity and certainty these are not photoshopped or AI.
Oh. Boy.
The pictures look like they are taken in a variety of locations,
mostly at night. Not a lot of pictures at school
though. There are a couple here and
there, one from Eliza that just says loli can't believe we did
that and this is a picture of her laughing in front of the
school. Nothing incriminating in the
photo besides the caption and you just see pictures of them
out and about around town. Sometimes they're in like a
field in front of the stars. There's a picture where someone,
not one of your girls with someone's holding a beer can in
one of the pictures, one of the boys are taking these pictures
with. So these are these are stressful
pictures to see, but nothing pins them as the president's
member, what have you of the supposed at a DARE club besides
that one weird one from Eliza. I'm sitting down fully, gripping
the chair just. Oh.
My. God, let me get my hands.
There's got to be, there's got to be better explanation than
this. You're a good mom and This is
why you have to get custody, full custody.
I know it's just, Oh my gosh, you might actually use this.
What if just like, just like her father, just like her dad.
Fucking Stan. She used to do the sneaking out,
too, versus the sneaking out. Next thing you know, she's going
to come home with the grandbaby. I'm ready.
To We should talk to her about it first before.
She's my kid, she's not my friend.
You you can still talk to her. Yeah, I'll.
Talk to her. You're young.
Look at you. You're young.
You're beautiful. You're voluptuous.
You can get to work because she's you're not going to tell
your mom. All right.
And I'm suddenly very aware of the fact that like.
We haven't left the room. Where we are being.
Yeah, the principal is just just sitting there, like I would
really love that if you would stop discussing teen pregnancy
around me because no one's child here has that thing.
You brought us in here. Not to talk about that.
Came here. Accusing us exactly.
Yeah, I mean, I, I would like more information.
And the students I've spoken with have not been forthcoming.
And there are suspensions and explosions on the table.
And quite frankly, if we don't start getting some information
soon, we're going to just have to rely on gossip and rumors.
And that would not look good for your particular teens, is all
I'm saying. So if there's anything you can
do to help. We will talk to them.
We'll talk to them. Yes, I'm.
Sure, we're going to talk. Reasonable explanations.
You're real. Fucking bad at your job, you
know that, right? Because.
We're doing a job. For you?
No, I'm just being honest. I am.
So sorry. I'm just being honest.
So sorry about her, we will. Leave you to.
Your your wonderful night and you know you planned this out to
a tea. They're a freshman star.
They're just. Dragging her out of the room.
There. Yeah, they're, they're there.
Excuse us? The door closes behind you and
the principal looks down and goes.
They only have to take care of one to two teens.
Max and I have hundreds and it's hard.
Hey, support your teachers. Support your local teachers and
principals, folks. Support your teachers, donate to
their classrooms because they're paying too much saying this is a
child of a teacher. Music.
So you leave, Abby.
Your move, of course, was a social media investigation,
which means it's now Zoe's turn in the initiative order to take
charge of the situation. So, Carol, you, you are now with
Susan and Reese. You were outside of the
principal's office. You've seen the fake Instagram
account of Eliza Begay. You saw you saw Sarah in those
pictures. What is your move?
What do you pitch to your fellow moms?
Well, I knew I was going to need the emergency brownies tonight.
OK, listen, I know this is stressful.
I know those pictures are not fantastic.
I think we just we just talk to them.
I. Think so too give.
Them. We.
Give them a. A good brownie, you know,
brownies are the peace offering and.
We're there. I can't look at that girl.
Right now I can't. You, you got to talk to her.
I I. Can't look.
Look, with everything that's been with fucking Stan right
now, it's just think, look, I haven't been around as much as I
nearly should. I've been working.
I've been paying these court fees.
I got the house back just recently.
I look, they still care about their dad despite everything
that's been going on. I just, I don't think I'm the
person to talk to him. I can't.
I'm not. You can.
You can guard the door. You can guard the door.
We will. Talk.
I can guard the door all right. Yeah, you can make sure Stan
does not come anywhere near this conversation.
I'll. Punch him in the nose.
Do not fight anybody. I'm not going to.
Fight anyone? I'm just going to take a real
embarrassing video of him. I'm drunk out with Oscar Lena.
I'm going to. Choose to believe that you will
not fight, Stan. I'm going to choose to take your
word for that. We are.
Reese and I are going to have a nice calm conversation.
We'll just talk about it. We're just going to talk about
it over some brownies and a two liter of soda, 2 liter of pop.
Carol, So you're going to go track down the kids, the the
potential culprits, if you will. And I know you are saying we're
in a nice, calm, easy conversation, but wouldn't you
describe yourself historically as a patient mother?
Yeah, I'm so patient. I.
Mean I'm the. Most patient on this planet,
nobody is up and it's. Competition.
It's competition. I didn't know.
Crazy. Yeah.
I didn't even know ever I've. Been the I am the most patient
mother on this planet. OK, I can.
I can. I can.
Be silent for a whole 5 seconds before I have to, you know, say
something. OK.
I'm going to go with you. We'll do this together.
OK, Yes. Yes, the power of friendship.
Power of friendship. Our kids are fine, they're safe,
they're safe, and we know where they are right now.
Over brown, over brownies. Yeah, we know where over
brownies. Yes, there are security cameras
everywhere. We're going to have brownies.
It's going to be fun. I'm going to grab the door and
I'm going to take a an Instagram reel of if anyone who tries to
get them. So you get to work your magic OK
and also like bring you back. A brownie.
Susan, I'm worried. About you.
I don't want them to think that we're imprisoning our own
children in the school either. Like, I don't want like, you
know, a conflict to happen. We'll.
Sit in the gymnasium, you know. OK.
Because right now with the intensity, with the intensity
that we're at, I feel like it sounds like we're about to tie
someone to a chair and I don't think.
We should do that. I think we should have this.
Right now I don't think we should do that.
I feel like that'll be bad for us.
I feel like that's not going to fly very well.
OK, Feng shui. Feng shui.
OK, I'll go do the. I'll go do the Feng shui.
Yeah, go do. Your thing, Yes, yes, all.
Right. This brings me to Carol.
So you have this whole conversation on the way to the
the theater where the kids are supposed to be during this whole
event. And we're going to have you made
that D6 roll, and I'm going to have to take one away from you,
unfortunately. OK, it's fine.
I roll. I roll.
She roll. OK, OK.
We have with the -1. It's a four. 4.
People take complicated success, you and the party take -1
stress. So things are winding down.
A little. Bit okay we're deescalating
we're taking our deep breaths we're deescalating we're.
Good. The Brownies.
Yes. So your plan, of course is talk
to the kids and see what's going on.
And this is, it works, but there is a minor complication you and
the party have to deal with as well.
I. Don't like your tone?
So you, you get to the auditorium and you, you're,
you're looking for, you're, you're trying to get your kids
attention, preferably all three. How are you going about doing
that, Carol? I have the brownies.
My children are definitely like. You know how when you rustle a
bag of treats for a doll? Jingle, Jingle.
They hear the Ziploc bag opening with the brownies.
Carol Smith's brownies are famous famous in Midwest City.
Not only does your daughter Sarah recognize that smell, but
so does every other smelly, packed in a room for the past
however long teen in this room your minor complication is.
Yeah, you can get the attention of your kid and every other
teenager in this high school, like a veritable swarm of teens,
children just coming at you, one really beside them self theater
teachers being like, wait, no, come back.
We still have to work on the song.
Please come back. Don't run towards them.
That does smell good, though. Whoa.
There's that. What do you do?
Well, all of the brownies while in one giant gallon sized buck
bag are also individually wrapped.
Because I am conscious that teenagers are disgusting, so I
am going to set up a fake sale. I'm like, listen, I'm in the
back of the auditorium. It's not like I'm selling
anything and we all know that there are freshmen in the
cafeteria. Not very good.
So there, I'm sure I'm just going to pass out brownies and
when Sarah gets to me, I'm going to give her the look and she's
going to. We all know the.
Move off to the side and they they can have the brownies, they
can have the brownies. Please don't hurt me.
Take them. Take please.
I'm sorry like. Three Acre Davis.
Take it like AT Shirt Cannon. Yeah, do another D6 roll for me.
You can add one this time for your culinary tasks.
Reese, are you helping in this situation?
What do you do? Can you possibly help?
I absolutely can help. I also work in hospitality or
you know, she's good at baking, I'm good at hospitality.
So I'm arranging it. I'm arranging their the bake
sale to perfection and it's I get them in like easy to access
lines so they're not trampling us to get the desserts.
I'm organizing and I'm making sure everybody gets what they
need to get and nobody needs to get hurt.
And I just want to talk to our kids.
Fantastic, don't you make AD 6 roll for me.
You can both add a + 1. I got a 5.
I got. A6.
Let's all the way go. So that's a success, Carol, your
stress goes down by two. Wow.
And everyone else's goes down by 1 noise.
It's the brownies, what can I say?
It's the brownies. They're made only with love,
only with this. This goes off without a hitch.
This, this, this Armada, this horde of teenagers slows to a
nice organized trickle when we see Reese guiding the kids in an
orderly fashion. The brownies are being
delivered. And yeah, eventually Carol's
daughter Sarah does get to the front of the line, and she'll
say, when did you have time to make all these brownies?
And how are there so many Sarah? I'm sensing the vibes are off.
They are, which is strange. They.
Are Sarah the vibes? Can you speak Chef?
Why are the vibes off? Vibes are off Sarah, just
listen. Let's have a.
Chat. Was this brownie A facade to get
me to chat with you about vibes being off?
Yes, yes, absolutely. No sudden. 100% I'm so sorry to
have tricked you like this. I'm not sorry at all.
She's not I. Knew she wasn't.
Oh God, so. Come come with this grab, grab
your friends. Well, we're definitely.
Not gonna watch the bake sale if I come with you it's.
This is that your theatre teacher?
You just tell her to get. Her get my theatre teacher.
Get the. Theater teacher tell her that
she can have a free brownie. Oh, that's a good deal.
OK, I take that. Turns, turns around.
Missus Mustafiles. Yeah, can you Boo?
Watch the. No, no, no, Boo I.
Like it? I'm not ashamed.
I like it. Can you, can you watch this bake
sale? I think my mom's mad at me, she
says. In front of the whole school.
I'm not bad. I would be honored to watch
these brownies. Take one for yourself.
Oh. Even better, I was going to do
it for love of the game the. Love of the bake.
Sale. Love bake sale all?
Right. You you take Sarah aside and you
reconvene with Susan outside of the auditorium. 3 of you now
have her undivided attention. Hi darling.
I didn't do it you. Know I will be the judge of that
young myth so. You're just not mad at me very
frequently and the I'm feeling new bizarre feelings.
Yeah, that's called disappointment.
That's what we're feeling. We're not mad.
We're disappointed. I wish you were mad instead.
Oh boy, I really wish it was mad instead.
I wouldn't even say that. We're just trying to figure out
what's going on. Can we just?
You know, you can always come to me.
I'm disappointed they're even secrets.
You can always come to me, you know that, right?
If anything were wrong, you know you're a good kid.
We just wanted to know about this little club we heard about.
Which one? Why don't you tell me?
Which one would you be mad about?
Mad about, you know. I don't hey make AB6 roll for
me. That's a six.
OK, see. OK, you can take your stress
down by two again. Oh, the.
Brownies. The brownies are hitting.
So she looks down and she looks up and she goes, is this that
stupid dare Club thing that people be talking about?
Now that. You brought that up, Yeah.
Tell me about Dare Club. I mean, it's the only, I mean,
I'm just answering Miss Bennett's question, which is
like, what club would you be mad about?
And I guess that one, but I'm not in it or anything You're.
Not in it I mean I. Of course I need that.
Is there anybody that you you know might you want?
Me to know some of my friends have done it.
Which? One which one?
Let's start here on names. I mean, OK, so Amber was in it
for a little bit. Amber, Amber, Amber.
Oh. Yeah, and I don't know, Amber
got dared to like, I don't know, yell at a friend or.
Something like. Really.
Publicly. So that was weird.
I didn't, you know. OK.
I, I don't know, like just a lot of kids just get dared to do
stuff and it's hard to keep track of who's in it versus
who's getting just dared to do stuff.
I mean, I got dared to do something but I didn't do it
well. You did, you do.
Like girl and I'm going to toss her another brownie.
So what was it? I'm curious.
I mean, it was stupid. It wasn't anything like, I don't
know, egregious or anything, but like someone like dared me to
take this gay test on BuzzFeed. That one's going around.
It's spreading. Yeah, that one's going around.
Yeah, everyone's doing it right now.
And like, it's fine. That's like, I don't know, I'm
I'm just Sarah and. You probably scored a 100 on it
or whatever. I mean, you can score whatever
number, like all the numbers are good numbers on the gay test.
I just didn't want to like, do it for a dare, you know?
I'm just like, I don't need to take a test.
I'm I'm locked. I'm solid.
You're solid. You're locked.
What does that mean? I'm just Sarah, like, whatever,
who cares? OK, yeah, that checks.
Yeah. You know, so like what I'm
hearing here, it sounds like these dare kids, it sounds like
they're trying to like stir up some trouble and like it really
upset if you don't do what they want, right?
Yeah, I mean, like, it's weird. Like it's with a bunch of people
and like you, like you could dare to do something.
But like I said, like no one can really keep track of like who's
in the dare club coming up with the dares and who's just being
dared to give out the dare. So I just think it's stupid
mostly. You know who might be at the
like who started it? She like looks left and right
and she's like Sarah. Am I allowed to say in front of
my kind of like eyeballs towards Susan?
Sarah I. I can't prove it, but it is the
kind of thing that, like, I don't know, Eliza would at least
be interested in Jake, maybe Jake.
Jake just goes to and fro at the wind.
That that boy, you know, sometimes he's like talking to a
lump of Moss and sometimes it's like talking to a cheetah on
crack. Yeah.
Is that Minecraft? Oh my first you start out with
the Minecraft, and now we're out here committing felonies.
Well. Yeah, I know he's like a year
younger than I am, but sometimes I feel like he's like 8 years
younger than I am. I don't know.
Dude can't even grow a mustache. I don't.
Even know how he got that I think.
He just took my mascara and drew that all my coffee.
That's what we all definitely said and thought.
Just to be clear, we all definitely thought he just
mascara at his Peach fuzz we. Don't even.
All right, Sarah, thank you so much.
We appreciate this. Sorry, I thought it was AI
thought I could just say whatever.
Sorry, that's why I did the whole eyeball thing.
It's. OK.
It just sounds like we're just back talking him a little bit we
don't need to do. That, I mean he's kind of smack
talking. Some people are really nice but
easy to like Bully. Sarah.
I'm look, I'm sorry, I wouldn't like go around saying he's like
a racist or anything, but like, I don't know, he does weird
shit. I mean stuff, sorry.
Well, you can say shit, I don't care.
You're. Cool.
Miss Bennett, Thank you. Thank you for being so honest
with me, I appreciate. That.
Yeah, you should get a reward for me and I was.
Give me a second here. I got a here.
Here's the CDI burned. I don't know what's on it, burn
over it or whatever. That's for you.
Yeah. I carry around.
It's my deadly tunes. This is standpoint that my
husband this is playing. Yeah, you.
Thank you for your honesty, sweetheart.
Your. Husband.
Sarah, why don't you go back to class?
I'm gonna go inside and this just leaves.
OK, Sarah. Sarah successfully spoken to
clues, discovered weird things afoot.
There's a a few lingering mysteries here.
What are Eliza and Jake doing? What does Tori have to do with
all of this? And the person who's now in
charge of getting us through these this, the dark wood of
this scenario is Reese Bennett. All right, so.
Kelly is on your mind. So are are the rest of our kids
in like with the rest of the student body right now, getting
ready for this song. Yeah, they should have been in
the auditorium for sure. The the brownie tricks super
lured Sarah out though. OK, so do we love my children?
OK, So we think they still might be in there is what I'm
gathering. It's just that they were not.
They were not. They were.
Supposed to be. They were not pulled to the
front. And once again, I don't like
your tone. You know who?
OK, Susan, I say this with so much respect.
I think Jake might be our weak point.
I feel like we might be. No.
He's just like his father. I don't blame you.
At all, we might be able to pump him for the most information,
the most useful information. That boy, he would believe you
if the sky was orange. You wouldn't even look.
Can we interrogate your son? Is what I'm asking.
Oh my God, please do it. It'll take him off his phone.
OK. I'll make myself scarce.
You won't want to talk while I'm around because otherwise I'll be
talking those little headed self.
I'm going to, I'm going to peek in.
I'm going to peek in through the door, see.
Can we spot Jake or is he just sitting somewhere with this
phone? Be the.
Glow of the smartphone. I'll tell you what.
Make it make it AD six rule and add one for understanding kids.
OK, I got a 5. Pretty good a success Even so
you can once again drop your stress.
I believe this will bring this will bring poor Susan down to
four stress, finally, while the other two whose kids have not
been implicated in this whole mess should now be at 0.
But yes. So you're looking in there and
it dawns on you like Jake is a 14 year old boy.
Yeah. Famously to himself.
Yeah. Being asked to participate in a
group song ain't no way he's a mess.
Like an auditorium. Absolutely.
Not OK. Well, where did we leave him
last? We left him in in that main
meeting room before. He may still be sitting there.
With his phone, he may still be. Sitting there, let's.
Go, I'm going to go check. We're going to go check.
Yeah, I'll, I'll look. I got the find your friends look
at he's still there. Live 360.
Exactly 12 feet away. OK, yeah, look at there's.
His heart, His heart. You're tracking his heart.
Right, Yeah, You get the like 360.
You got the Fitbit. Bound Susan.
We need to have a discussion. I'm.
Quietly so worried about Jake, but I'm keeping it inside.
So I said we need to have a talk.
I'm working 12 hours a day. I got to make sure my kids are
still breathing. I still breathing.
I don't want to know if they have an aneurysm.
Exactly. That's why my kids are still
breathing. That's why that must be why
they're breathing OK. So you head back to the initial
meeting room and the principal introduced the evening and Yep,
sure enough, you you clocked my joke Kelly, way to go.
You do in fact see Jake sitting in the auditorium, still on his
phone, however sitting next to stand.
The 2 are sitting next to each other, neither talking, both
kind of on their phones. Only people in this room.
OK. Susan, you good?
I'm cool as a cucumber. Like I said, Fung shui.
Deep breaths. That yoga.
OK, I'm going to go. Hey, I'm going to go see.
Hey, Carol, do you have any brownies left?
Why am I whispering? You'll be listening to us
anyway. I'm whispering.
This is so. Right.
He's got his earbuds in. He's not going to hear anything.
I could be yelling right now. Please don't.
Yell. Please don't yell so help.
I think I have like 2 brownies left.
You can kick them both. OK, All right, I'm.
Going to go over. I'm going to go.
I'm going to go get him. I'm going to go, OK?
I'm going to go. I'm just going to go get him.
Hey, Jake. Jake's head kind of bounces up
and turns around like what? Someone gets an Airpod out?
What? Hey, Jake, we actually Carol, or
you call her Miss Smith has a bake sale going and we didn't
want you to miss out on the brownies.
You want to come get some with us?
Looks at his dad for a second and then he turns around and
goes, I don't know if my kids should be having chocolate like
that this late at night. Dad, I'm 14.
I can have, I don't have to like, yeah, Dad worry about
night food now, Yeah. Dad, he's 14.
He's Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were his mother.
Well, I didn't realize, you know you cared, so I guess we're
even. You're going to make me AD 6
roll for sure to see what you can do about Stan, but since
other parents are kind of your weak spot, that'll be -1.
Don't do wrong. I actually throw them an extra
dice because I'm standing in the corner and I want my threatening
anti aura to hit him. I want his audacity to be sucked
away. Roll AD 6.
We're treatable. Treat it like advantage.
Whoever thinks the highest number. 6 Who?
Well. It's the devil that.
What did you roll, Reese? I rolled A3.
OK, so we're, we're going to assume that with the the the
rage that only an auntie can be filled with Abby, go ahead and
drop your stress down by two for whatever reason.
Hell yeah. This is a fight you know you can
win because you've been winning it, and you can step in to
assist Reese with getting Stan off your ass.
I'm going to step behind Reese, put a hand on my shoulder.
Stan. Oh my gosh, it's so good to see.
How's Oscar Lena doing? Who I don't.
Yeah, you were a Sky City casino.
Yeah. Do you want to talk about that,
Jake? Why don't you go?
Why don't you go with your mom to this bake sale?
I hear they got really good brownies.
There, brownies are sounding good now, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'll see you in court, Sam.
Nice seeing you. OK, Susan, OK.
Man, I'm so glad we're separated, but fuck, she does
something to me. All right, I'm leaving, Dad.
Bye. Terrible.
So you have Jake, you have a tainted Jake.
We. Have we have a tainted Jake?
All right, Jake, we do have brownies, but we also have
questions. Damn it, I mean.
But I think it's worth it for the brownies.
These brownies are phenomenal. So I think it's worth it.
It's good trade. Missus Smith made them.
Is that real? Missus Smith made them, yes.
Yes, I did actually make these. These are my emergency brownies.
Yes, so few things in life are not worth Missus Smith's
brownies, so this better be something that I can get out of.
This is a great bargain. Think about our natives bargain.
This is a great trade, brownies, for whatever truth you're going
to tell us, OK? OK, that's.
My boy. God I hate him and she uses
history against me. OK, what it what?
What is with this Dare Club thing?
What is everybody? Doing Oh my God, that OK?
What's happening? OK.
We gave you a brownie. It was Eliza's idea.
Why she? Has a crush on somebody and it's
spiral out of control? OK.
Oh, she was trying to impress someone.
I I guess, or like trying to like figure out a way to like
ask someone out without having it be like her idea.
I don't know. Girls are weird.
All I know is some kid dared me to eat a bug and I did it and
then I just kept getting dared to do stuff and I kept doing
them, Jake. The brownie tastes better than
the bug I would probably. Think probably bugs were gross
but I have eaten like 5 of them. Oh my God, Jake, stop.
Jake. Stop eating bugs.
I love it. This is some hunting and
gathering. I love that for you.
But also, we don't eat bugs, OK? We don't eat.
We don't eat strange bugs. I wouldn't say it was a fair
hunt to be fair. They were like, there's this
ants everywhere in the school. You eat an.
Ant. You're seeing a 5.
Ants. I.
Do they? Are.
Teaching their bugs and ants, Jake.
I mean they eat them in Africa. There's those big ol honey.
He might, you know, he's got a. Point.
If I were going to eat a bug I I probably would pick an Ant to be
honest because they're small. Yeah, they got those honey pot.
There's like crunch. Oh, no.
I. Don't want the?
Honey. Omar, wait, are you mad at me
for eating the bugs or for the toilet thing?
The toilet thing we did. What's the toilet?
Thing Jake, I got dared to put a whole bunch of paper towels in
the toilet and they had to call a special plumber.
A. Few days ago.
Wait. Yeah, it took like a lot of the
plumbers in town, everyone guy being like, we have other jobs
to do, but this toilet is like borked.
Everything makes sense now, OK? Am I, like, in a lot of trouble
for that? That was supposed to be a
secret. The whole point of Dare Club is
no one's supposed to get caught. You're supposed to do stuff so
you don't get caught. Well.
Then why are you posting pictures online?
I'm not posting anything. Who's posting pictures online?
Nobody. Jacob, you're not in trouble.
I'm. I'm very proud of you for being
honest with me. Don't do that again.
OK, should I quit now? Where's your sister?
Oh, I think she's hanging out. No, she should not be in the
club. She's hanging out with Tori
somewhere outside, I think. Oh my.
God, she's, I'm going up. Hulk OK, I appreciate you being
honest. You go off and you go here, take
a brownie hat, take a lemon bar. You're going to go over we're.
Just we're just taking things out of Carol's bag at this
point. She's not even adding it to us.
We're just taking her shit. I got her life 360 pulled up.
Let's get there ASAP before the alarm sounds.
We. Need to talk about.
This OK, Susan, we need to have a discussion.
We need to talk about this. Jake goes back into the
auditorium holding like 3 brownies and two lemon bars.
But like, you were not going to believe the night I've had.
I'm telling you what, girls, the things I've seen, I see you.
I saw a guy. He stuck a whole fucking
cucumber up. As we knock, let me tell you
what we're not going to do. That.
OK, we're going to go fine. How did we get here?
We're going to go. Find.
Your. Child, OK, we're going to go see
her heartbreak. 'S going crazy.
Let's get going. They're outside.
They're outside, OK. I am leading the charge.
Yeah, You head outside kind of by where the tennis courts would
be. No ones there.
It's supposed to be a locked gate, but no one ever really
locks the tennis gate at night for any reason.
So there's been like urban myths that some people go out there to
like, do drugs or whatever. But it's a Midwest town.
No ones out there doing drugs from the high school tennis
court. But you know, they post things
on Facebook and. Yeah, Susan, you will be taking
the lead in this particular scenario as initiative wraps
back to you here. And you do in fact see Eliza and
Tori hanging out on the tennis courts, lying flat on their
backs next to each other. Elizabeth Grace, be gay.
What are you doing out here this hour?
You see Eliza shoot up and then Tori shoot up and then Tori like
starts to stand up and run. Tori, wait, Tori, wait, wait.
Is this why there are no boys? Come.
Back, come back, I'm rolling the.
Tackler, I'm rolling the grabber.
I'm bearing down. I went to ASU to.
ASU OK Susan, you're going to make me AD 6 roll but -1 because
outdoor activity isn't your STEEZ.
What? Not again.
That's. A0A total of nothing.
OK, You're you're a city auntie. You're stressed out.
You gain 2 stress bringing you to 4.
The whole situation here already amplified for Reese and Carol.
You both gain a stress as well. Stress by osmosis, if you will.
You do not run. You do not catch your daughters.
They're just out there running like, like, like feral hogs in
the fields of Arkansas. Smooching in the Midwest. 30 to
50 of. Them which is I'm going to we're
going to rapid fire initiative here.
Carol, the girls are running and Susan was not equipped for the
job. What's your idea?
I default to brownie. I didn't.
My secret? Key Thoughts of Brandy sick
making these 6 for your culinary skills.
Great. Trying to lure them with that
sweet scent. Oh, no, Oh no.
She's making a bad face. She's making a bad face, Carol.
You can add one. Did you roll A1 roll?
A1. It's OK.
I'm out of brownies. Things are not going well at
Midwest High School today. Okay, you gained 2 stress.
The other two gained one stress. It's ramping up.
You go to check for your brownies.
Oh, man, you bribed Jake with fucking all of them.
Jake is in there having the time of his life, snacking on
brownies, and this was your your last line of defense.
You know how to cook, and now they're not there.
You're not a communication person.
You're not a patience person. You're a cooking person.
Which means we're going right to Reese.
Your daughter and Susan's daughter are running around.
Carol's stressed out because she's out of brownies.
What do you do? I so Eliza has booked it.
They have they booked it in opposite directions.
Fair. To say yes, opposite directions.
OK, so I think I will probably prioritize Tori and I'm just
going to call out. I'm going to kind of not Sprint
after her. I don't want to freak her out,
but I'm like kind of doing that slow jog, like I'm trying to
catch up a little bit. I'm like, honey, you tell me
everything. I just want to talk to you.
Please come back. Yeah, I mean, you understand,
you're a kid you're good with with the teens.
Make AD 6 roll add 1. 5. Five works.
You can bring down your stress by two.
Everyone else's can go down by 1.
Tori stops running, puts her hands on her knees.
She's just wearing like a polo tee and some jeans.
And. She's like, Oh my God, I don't
know if that mean Eliza's mom scared the heck out of me.
You know what? That's listen, that's fair.
That's fair. She means well, though.
She mean, she means so well. I sometimes what she didn't mean
as well are. You OK?
Yeah, we were what were. You done?
Thinking about trying out for tennis?
You sure? Like 20% sure it could be fun,
not that I'm. Saying, though, you weren't
doing tennis, you were doing whippets out here.
Oh my God. Hi.
What's? The other 80%?
Hanging with Eliza. OK.
Don't, don't do that face at me. My face.
You're. The face you make when you think
that I that I like people. I'm not.
Making a face. I'm not making a face, I mean.
Definitely making a face. No.
I'm not. Oh my God, please.
Not in front of Eliza's mom, Mom.
Not in front of Eliza's mom. She describe me, she can't see
me, she can't see my face, just my knowing.
She said something about. Women motherly face.
OK, all right. The heat's coming down on you,
kid. Deer club For what?
Deer Club. Oh.
Yeah, we got called into that. How did I get repeated?
I listen. It took me right back.
I got called into the principal's office and was.
Yes. Yes, to talk about you.
I don't think even I've been called to a principal's office
the whole time I've been going to school, Mom.
Well. You don't throw that in my face,
OK? I'm just saying you got called
to the principal's office for I guess.
For you. For you and I think, I think the
next step is you getting called down.
They're trying to cut it off at the pass before that needs to
happen. They're they're pitting it on
me, I. Didn't No, not just you, not
just you, but there were pictures posted, kid.
I saw him. You were in one of them.
There's there's an account. Yeah, you were.
Medium luncheon. Medium luncheon.
Some boy they're. Very.
They're very. On Eliza's account?
Is that what you want on Eliza's account?
Yeah, yeah. You're on the fence still look
at I see and I like do the mom thing where like I hold the
phone way too close. Wow, that OK?
Hi. That's really up to my face.
I cannot see anything. Here we go.
Yeah. Can you pull it back a little
bit so I can see I'm all OK. I got my eyes.
OK. Yeah.
That's Eliza's Her her other Instagram.
Yeah. She's not going to love you.
Found that yeah, she's not soft launching with that boy that was
part of Dare Club. It was like post something on
Instagram to make people think you were soft launching and she
wasn't. She wasn't.
How would you know that? How would you know that?
How would you know that that she wasn't soft launching?
Because I just do. Eliza and I are cool friends.
We are tight like that. Oh, you're tight.
You're tight like that. OK mom, can you please not in
front of other parents? I swear to God I'm going to
melt. OK, OK, if you 2 need you know,
mother and daughter Carol and I'll just go over here, we're
going to talk about things. You 2 just have your little
moment OK ears plugged and then like shuffling off but like very
off trying hard to eavesdrop just.
She's already heard it. She's already heard everything.
That's fine. OK.
I Is it done? What I want to is, can dare club
be done, do you think? I'm not in it.
I'm I'm not in it. They think you are.
Oh my God. OK.
I mean, I think that's going to have to be an Eliza thing.
You know, Jake told us that Eliza started it to impress
someone that. 'D be weird, I just.
Thought that was interesting. I thought that was an
interesting thing for him to say.
I mean, usually you do that when you like like someone you're
like, oh, I'm doing this cool stuff.
Look at me kind of deal. So I'm just.
Curious. Well, that doesn't make a lot of
sense. I mean, I, I think Eliza's just
cool on her own. She oh do oh.
Good. That's nice.
That's great. OK, Can I just listen?
Yeah. I like Eliza.
OK. And I'm.
I would like, I would like, I would like something to work out
there. But you make it really hard to
talk about this stuff. Why?
Because because you're still. I mean, I know we're like best
friends and I love that. I love our relationship.
Sometimes when I want to talk about that stuff, I remember
that you're my mom and you tend to make a big deal out of stuff
that isn't a big deal yet, OK? I I get excited.
I know, and that worries me because what if it like, what if
I'm just like, Oh yeah, I have a crush on this girl and you're
like, Oh my God. And then our whole.
And then that's that's all we talk about.
And then as everyone has Eliza, has Eliza has Eliza, it's.
Not really. You think that's how I'd be?
I mean, you caught wind of it and you were really weird about
it, doesn't I? Was excited.
I'm just finding. I'm just getting on the train,
Tori. I'm just finding out about it
now. Of course I'm going to be
excited. I'll mail out though, give me
time. OK, OK, listen, I'm, I'm, I'm
sorry I didn't let you know sooner.
I just wanted to, I, I wanted to know first.
I wanted to know if it was gonna happen first.
And you're Listen, you're allowed to have that boundary
with me. I get it.
But I'm glad you're telling me now.
And we should probably find Eliza.
Not in a way that I'm gonna be. Her mom absolutely murders her
for starting Dare club to impress me apparently.
Yeah, for. Sure, I would prefer if someone
you like doesn't get murdered. I think that would be preferable
if we could just like nip that in the.
Bonus question though, it's so you keep talking about how
they're going to bring the hammer down on someone that they
need someone to get the fall for this.
I think. And Eliza definitely started it.
I think it just we just need to make sure it stops I think.
But can we make sure she doesn't get in trouble?
Yeah, we can figure something. Out.
I guess we're going to have to Susan and Carol, you are on
Eliza's tail and I'm going to have Susan take her turn to the
initiative here. How are we going to try and get
Eliza? All right, Carol, your snacks,
we could leave them out for bait.
But The thing is, my daughter's not a feral cat.
Even though she's acting like 1. I don't think we can just trap
spay release here, OK? I need you to be the bait
because right now she's going to be real scared of seeing me with
her and this boy or whatever, especially when that's happened.
Like fucking Stan, I need you to be bait.
And then I'm going to come out and I'm going to ambush her, but
like, in a motherly way. I'm terrified, but I respect
your parenting decision. Oh, but you know, it's like
there's a tiger mom. You know what I am?
I'm a cougar mom. That's what I am.
I'm a cougar. You.
Sure are a cougar, Susan. Is the part of my clans all
right? You stand out.
You act all concerned. You know, you do that real sweet
thing. Your eyes get all soft and
pretty in. Your face washes a little bit.
You look all feminine and lovely.
Yeah, you do that. I'll just be in the shadows.
Susan, we need to have a discussion.
I will go fetch your child. I I will buy you so many
sourdough starters. I mean, I'll buy you all those
weird French varieties, all that white people shit.
I will get that for you. I am intrigued by white people
shit. Fascinating, beautiful culture.
In that case, Carol, I'll have you make AD 6 roll.
Just flat, I swear. To God, if it's a one again,
that's a four. Complicated success.
You and the party reduced your stress by 1.
So everyone's stress goes down a little bit.
You and and you do succeed. It works.
There's a minor complication. So you catch up to Eliza.
Susan herself is the complication.
Yes. No, you, you catch up to Eliza.
She's like sitting in like the middle of the soccer field at
this point. She's been running a lot and and
she's just like, you know, just sitting there and she sees you
coming and she sees her mom keeping her distance.
But she knows about her mom's Sonic hearing abilities and all
those app tracks, tracking apps she has.
And she just like, looks up to you.
And then things get complicated for you because you're not this
girl's mother. And she's crying.
Hey. Kid, hey, sorry, no, it's fine.
It's. Fine, You're good.
You're good. It's all good.
I am so fucked, aren't I? I wouldn't say that.
I mean fricked. I'm going to.
Choose not to hear that. I love your mother, bless her
heart. She's.
Real mad. I I I don't know what happened.
It got really out of control really fast.
Interesting. What?
What?
What went out of control? Oh, I mean, Carol, yes, I'm not
stupid. I'm running this club where
everyone dares everyone in school to do stupid stuff.
And I, I say running, but like it was just supposed to be like,
ha ha, girls having fun. We're doing silly little dares
and maybe eventually it'll loop back around on me and someone
will dare me to like kiss Tori or something.
And and now there's kids clogging toilets and now there's
like people jumping off the roof of umbrellas.
You. Know this kid?
Was your brother right? Jake.
Wait, what did Jake do? He clogged the.
Toilet it. Was like Oh my.
God plumbing sensation. That's a Jake thing to do too.
He should be in more in trouble than I am.
My dares were all harmless. Just for the record, I.
I didn't say you were in trouble.
I mean, I'm not your mom. I'm not your mom.
I mean, I can. I can see smoke coming off of
the top of her head from here. Yeah, it doesn't look great.
But listen, listen, listen. Why don't we just go talk to
her? We'll talk to her together.
And by we'll talk to her together, I mean you will talk
and I will be standing here. Oh.
My God. Are you fine?
I listen. You got this.
Your mother.
Is. Your mother is a lot.
I love your mother. I know she's a lot.
I just don't want to stress her out more.
That's why I was trying to keep this on the down low.
Like she's already dealing with a divorce and then she keeps
working these 12 hour shifts and like I'm having weird feelings
about a friend of mine and I didn't want to have to come to
her with that because she's already overwhelmed with her own
divorce. So like maybe like hey mom this
girls school I have a crush on ha ha sorry your marriage
sucked. She's not going to.
I was just trying to keep it low key until things blew over.
Listen, don't you think she wants to be a part of your life?
Yes, but my life is stressful and apparently my brother's
hugging toilets. OK, I can't.
I cannot. Speak for Jake, I can't defend
this. I can't.
I don't. Think anyone can speak for Jake?
I don't know what planet he lives on.
We can figure that out later. Listen, go smooth things over
with your mom. She wants to know things about
you. She loves you.
Come on. OK.
Yeah. Can you tell Sarah?
I said. Sorry for daring her to take
that gay test. You dared her to take the gay
test. I I did, yeah.
That's all I'm going to say about that.
All right, OK, Cool, cool, good, you know?
Your mom will be. Perfectly fine hearing that you
went Tori. I I don't think my mom's a bigot
or anything. It's not what I'm worried about.
I just don't want to stress her out by talking about romantic
stuff. Oh, young love, but it's so
cute. I mean cute.
I like her you. Like her?
I do. Go tell your mom that.
I'll keep trying to tell my mom that God shit, it's all right.
Shoot, I'm. Going to choose not to hear that
again. Thank you.
You're cool, Mrs. Smith. I try.
Susan Eliza comes up to you. Hey Mom, for the record.
So other people made Dairy Club worse?
Not me. I just take her in and I hug her
for real time. You are such.
You are my daughter, that is for certain.
I she's. Definitely your daughter.
Oh. She.
Is. Look at me.
I let her go, hold her shoulders, Elizabeth.
Hi. I love you very much and I'm
sorry I haven't been more present in your life recently.
Yeah, it's not your fault. But it kind of is, you know, I
just want you and your brothers to have the best life they can
and everything with your dad going on you If if Derek Club
makes you happy, then I would. I.
Wouldn't even be upset. To be fair, it does not anymore.
It started off fine, but it's gotten weird.
Oh yeah, yeah, I saw that with the, you know, the soft
launching of the boy and all that.
But like, I love you. You can talk about plan
backfiring, you know, you try to set something up so someone will
be like, wouldn't it be funny if you kissed your friend?
But then you get acid soft launch fucking Derek.
I mean freaking Derek. Whatever.
I cuss a lot mom, I'm sorry. Sweetheart, I'm a nurse.
We got even filthier mouths. You've learned it from
somewhere. That was me.
And besides, everyone kisses their best friends.
I did that all the time growing up.
I just thought. Sweetheart, I want you to tell
me when these things comes up who are not a burden.
I had you because I wanted to bring a life into this world and
every day I am so thankful to have that life in my life.
You are a blessing. Starts crying again I'm.
Just hugging her. I'm crying too AM.
I going to get expelled. We're going to we're going to
talk to the principal about it. Let's be honest, I don't think
that man knows how to do his job.
So we're going to talk to him about that.
So we're going to go find your friend and we're going to
explain all this. Like, don't worry, everyone does
it. You're so fine.
I don't even. You should stay with none,
Derek. Oh yeah, I mean, I took that
picture and that is like the sweatiest hand I've ever like,
seen, even before I touch it. Like you get to hell.
Oh, yeah, no, nobody likes touching boys.
I mean, really, your father? I'd have to like, RIP myself off
the touch on when we were first going out.
All right, let's go find everyone.
Carol, let's go back. Let's get everyone together.
Yes. Susan, Oh my House discussion.
She made some good brownies. Oh my.
God, I could. Stuff my arteries with them.
The. Three of you arrive back in the
principal's office, your daughters and Jake in tow, and
the principal is sitting there like, OK, I am prepared to hear
the ramifications of this club. Or maybe I'm about to learn
nothing. What do I know?
As far as I know, this isn't real.
This is a rumor. I just would like this parents
night to be over. Oh my God.
Derek's dad yelled at me again. Oh.
My God like Father, like son. You know, some some parents get
mad at you for the content of the teachers classrooms and
you're prepared for that, but this man is adamant that we stop
teaching Fahrenheit and now I just, I don't know what he
stands for. Anyway, Derek's dad's a weirdo.
Anyway, each of you, please just let me know what your kid is or
isn't responsible for. Misses Be gay, please.
You go ahead first. What?
What's Eliza and Jake's involvement in all of this, if
anything? You know it's Miss Be gay, but.
Apologies. So.
My daughter, she, she did all this.
It was just a fun thing. It was just to get friends to do
things for their friends. It was supposed to, you know,
like the acts of kindness day. That's what it was supposed to
be. You see, it was other kids that
took it too far. And yeah, maybe my daughter
shouldn't have thought of that. But honestly, her intentions
were really good. She just wanted to be such a
good friend to her. Friend here.
Look at how good friends they are.
Can't you see that? Like look at each other.
It was wide eyes. Good.
Friends. Oh.
My gosh, they should be roommates.
I think they should be roommates when they go to Roommates Susie.
All right, that. Might be Russian, but no, let's
not, let's not. We don't need to have that.
What What about your son? All right, I will look at my
son's a little bass heads full of nits.
He had a terrible bowel movement and.
Yeah, he's been eating all those brownies to.
Red Shoe? Yeah, he's so embarrassed too.
Jake like, looks down at his shoes, like like you can see his
face like getting like, like more blush in it.
And he's just like, he knows he needs to keep his mouth shut
because of what actually happened.
But he's like, God, why this? Of all the things you just see,
like you see, Eliza, like a rhythm.
He just, you know, you got to do what you got to do, am I right?
OK, so the plumbing thing, yeah, it wasn't Jake.
He just had a bad. It was just bad Brown.
We don't, we don't need, I mean. It was Jake, but like, not in
the way that you think. Yeah.
OK, And what was Sarah's involvement in all of this?
Misses Smith. Quite literally nothing.
OK, essentially the figured. Yeah.
And it's the big he knows what. The pictures about.
Just kids being kids. See, I know you don't get social
media I don't like. I do.
It's not like how we get our kids.
Exactly. It's just kids being kids.
Mine Myspace. Grow.
Up. Yeah, I'm still on it.
Wow. And OK, so that explains the
that with those. OK.
And then what was Tori's involvement?
I mean, she there was just like little dares.
She didn't really. Tori, honey, did you even really
do anything? No.
Well, I got, I got, I got, I got dared to kiss someone.
Oh, and then Eliza blesses a little bit.
Yeah, seamless. Really.
Thing hot. Yeah, yeah. 6 I mean, I would
prefer our students not be doing that on campus, but I know that
I can't stop kids from having relationships, I guess.
Yeah, probably because you didn't have any relationships
that. Susan.
I've been married for. Am I wrong?
Susan. Yeah, and your wife looks real
unsatisfied. Look at this looks Susan.
We. Need to have a discussion.
Whoa. Yeah, that's why you always say
that. We did have a discussion.
Listen. My my wife, like many women in
this country, loves Pedro Pascal, and he's her hall pass.
That's you. Know.
It so that's why she posts about the guy.
That's fair. You know what?
That's fair, I respect your game.
I thought so. Weird little man.
OK, we didn't even ask we. Didn't mine is Sarah Paulson.
Oh, oh, OK. I mean, you start doing swinging
for your team, but like, yeah, yeah, I support you.
Anyway, I'm going to, hey, I'm going to hear the kids are all
they're all not involved. OK?
So, OK, Eliza, can can this be done?
I get too many emails about this and it sounds like it started
from you. I won't suspend or expel.
You could just just just tell me it's over.
Oh, yeah, I'll disband it right now.
It's like pulls out her phone and like deletes her fake
Instagram account. Like, Yep, there no more dare
club. All right, cool.
That easy. Love to hear it.
Good here. Yeah, there's refreshments in
the cafeteria. I'm not eating those.
Fair Parents Night ends the the kids all say bye to each other,
you all hug one last time and you are standing in the parking
lot. The three of you, your kids are
all waiting in the car. You're about to go and conclude
your evenings. What What an evening you had
solving teenage mysteries and discovering the the embers of
young love. What do the three of you talk
about as your day comes to a close?
You know, I just got the e-mail back from my lawyer because I'm
going through my Facebook. We just got the e-mail back.
He says this. Case, give me a slam dunk.
I'm going to get full custody. Girls, I think we need to go
have a ladies night. I think we need to go Magic
might get full up. We need to go see some beautiful
women and men, I guess, and then we need to go get some drinks.
We could go. Actually, we could go to your
place Race. OK, we could go there.
You get the employee discount. OK, All right.
We don't really we don't really have any magic mic axe coming
through, but I, I could I. Could.
Well, there's this place I used to go.
Oh my God, when I was, you know me and fucking Stan, don't you?
Where I know all the places I used to be such good friends
with so many strippers. Oh my God, We're going to have
so much fun. They're going to celebrate you
being a great test. You know, I think.
That's a good. That's a good question, Carol.
That's a good. That's a good question.
We should maybe hash that out. Yeah.
Well. You know, over margaritas or
something. Yeah, that.
Sounds good to you? You know what this is?
This is the start of our hot girl summer.
Let's do it. It's on the.
Calendar, you're saying let's do it?
Did you just say let's do it? That's what I heard with my
ears. Let's do it.
I'm Native American. I'm not less Lebanese.
Well, I don't know what. You're hearing OK.
All right, Susan. Let it go, race, let it go.
I. Will the the three of you return
to your various vehicles? You take your kids home, hugs
are had, phones are taken away and sleep is returned to.
And tomorrow, you know that your Midwestern mom job is never
truly over and it will start all over again in the morning.
And that is Midwestern moms. I adored these moms.
I adored them very much and I will miss them.
Thank you everyone for playing here with me today.
As we mentioned, the Midwestern Moms is created by Cutest Patoot
Games. You can buy it on itch.
It's a lot of fun. I personally love it a lot.
It's been sitting in my library for a year and I'm glad I have
to play it with three of my favorite people in the whole
wide world in the AP theme. Abby, thank you for playing.
Where can we find more of you? Oh my gosh.
Well, if you could stand be being an auntie, being a future
auntie and auntie in the making, you could say you can find me at
most places on the Internet at Napa Abbey where I'm doing
cultural readings, I'm doing sensitivity readings, but most
of all I'm playing games with amazing people like this.
So make sure you go check out what everyone does as well as
me, like the award-winning Dino Crisis, that IGM, as well as
some upcoming projects that keep an eye out on socials for.
So yeah, plug in those socials. My eyes are open and they are
peeled even. Don't peel them.
That's too late, I have a peeler and everything EW.
You have an eye peeler. EW.
I worry for you. Kelly, where can we find more of
you? You can find me.
I go by the Kel hop on the Internet.
You can. You can find me here, here,
right now, here right now as you're listening.
This is so much fun, everyone, and it's like 1 PM, 1:00 AM in
my neck of the woods, but 1000% worth it.
You can also find me over on the Heart is a Dungeon and some
stuff over there. You can find me in the audio
drama error 313 and you'll find me in some other things coming
up. But everybody here is so
stinking, talented and perfect and thank you for having me
here. Thank you for being here and I
love all of those shows and all the things Kelly does.
It was great. Big Kelly fan Zoe, where can we
find more of you? Hi, you can find me at Zotato
Potato on the interwebs or at my website zoedlee.card.co.
I am also on the hardest dungeon and apparently sometimes here
now. I guess so.
Twice. Even twice.
Even I'm the. That's where you can find me.
That's it. I love, I love rating the heart
as a dungeon. It's like it's a do shit like
this. Zoe is a very talented voice
actor and vocalist, and it's just like that.
Rise stars. Zoe is incredible and I will
yell it from the highest mountain top.
I agree, this is my first game. And I'm like, Oh my God, I need
her in all my projects. In fact, while Grant was
handling a situation, I'm like, hey, let me steal you for a
project. The cross pollination continues
my my life's work. Thank you all for listening.
If this is your first time listening because you're a fan
of one of these three or all of these three.
Hi, we're game master Monday. We do new one shots and new
systems of a new cast every single time on this damn show.
I've got a lot of cool things coming up here for you coming
up. Let's see what the time this
goes up. In a couple of days, we're going
to be launching a new live miniseries over on our Twitch
channel called The City. I love It speaks to me.
It's being GM by our friend Jellyfish Lines, and it stars
Andy, who's though we might remember from our belonging for
other Strange Land miniseries and also from Magnificence and
also a a ghost of Eli who's done the heart as a dungeon and made
a role play and so many other countless things.
And it's gonna be a great time. I also hear it's gonna be like
horny so get ready for that I guess sometimes.
You gotta make it horny I guess. It's gonna be noir, it's gonna
be gender query, it's gonna be weird, and I can't wait to see
what happens. That is gonna be starting up on
Wednesday, May 7th on our Twitch channel at 8:00 PM Eastern Time.
As for the rest of you podcast fans, we're going to be back
here in two weeks. Plan.
You guessed it, another one shot.
So we'll see you then. Bye, bye everybody.
Bye, bye, bye. I, I knew this woman.
I I knew this woman when I lived in Oklahoma, I swear to God.
I'm so glad. Too real.
The NC. I am just channeling my aunt
right now. I love you, Debbie, by the way.
OK, above table I have the Debbie NPC in here, so let me
just make a quick little change to that that's.
So funny. I have a Debbie family friend
who is the definition of Midwest mom.
It's very funny. We all know it.
We're. Channeling Debbie tonight.
Debbie, this is for you, wherever you are, Debbie.
Shout out to. Debbie.
Shout out to Debbie. Shout out.
To Debbie. OK, bonus fun fact, this game is
actually dedicated to a Debbie as well, but it's the Debbie who
plays the mom on That 70s Show Debbie.
So this episode truly is for the Debbie's out there leaving Carol
behind with Tori and not come on get them together.
Where is Mike? I'm just giving kids away.
Hold on. Let me take that.
Let me take. That hey, I know she makes good
brownies OK, but I love you all. Right.
There's nothing special and I'm just.
I'm still your mother. Yeah, sometimes the post credit
scene writes itself, OK.