The. Welcome back to Sherwood.
Kill the Round Table. When last we left our heroes,
the idea of time had been destroyed.
It died. Whatever you did with Merlin,
you somehow broke the idea of time going forward.
If you look up, the entire vacuum of space expands before
you. Stars are being born and die.
If you look below you, you'll see pretty much the same.
As far as you can tell, everything that has ever existed
and everything that ever will exist currently exists within
this realm. You find yourself amid the sands
of time, standing in what appears to be just like a pile
of hourglass sand, just pristine white as far as the eye can see
in this kind of One Direction horizon that you're going
through here. Augusta's going to look around
at all the stars and things and goes, is it?
Is anyone an astrologer? Any anybody new?
I'm a Leo. Fire sign checks out.
Sir Kay is singularly focused, just like staring daggers down
at Arthur like this. This is the thing he's been
ramping up for, and like just nothing is getting through to
him. He didn't hear the astrology
question. He's just holding his axe,
staring at his his stupid brother.
And you can almost feel him staring back at you through his
helmet. Arthur.
He's very far away. Arthur, I know you can hear me,
you prick. So yeah, I'm just going to like,
turn to the group and say I don't want to sugarcoat this.
Arthur is one of the most skilled Knights of the Round
Table, if not the most borderline unkillable.
And now he has time magic and has us trapped in this weird in
between dimensional Hoo hockey. So I need you all to be, and
pardon the expression, I guess that I'm going to say it tip top
shape for this one. Don't buy into any tricks.
Don't believe anything or anyone you see.
Your only objective is to slay Arthur.
All right. Are you?
Sure. He has us trapped here because I
think he may be trapped here too.
Wherever we are, which is everywhere and nowhere.
I suppose it's like looking around at like the sand and the
stars and the swirling purple vortex, I'm assuming.
You see a spaceship. Whatever the fuck that is, it
goes away if we slay him. That's a.
That's a dragon, so. You also see a dragon.
You lot are taking this very calmly.
I already didn't believe any of this was real, so this is not
new to me. Penwick are you going to Cain
and Abel this shit or what? I'm going to damn try.
I just want no one here to die in the process.
So I'm asking you to be singularly focused.
Sure, we've been killing Knights this whole time.
Aren't we more in trouble with the whole world, everywhere and
nowhere at once? I don't know.
This is why I say don't think about it.
Remain focused on the objective. Do not get distracted by the
magic of it all. But the objective might have
changed. Jesus Christ, just.
Just channel me, OK? The word is quackery.
Quackery. That.
That's a great word. Hey GM, what the fuck is?
Arthur doing? Yeah, Arthur is standing very,
very far away on what appears to be a mountain of sand.
He's got Excalibur plunged into the sand and is kind of like
staring your little party down here.
He's not making any moves to like go and try to like attack
you directly. He's putting on a show,
probably. I think he's just as confused.
A show I like. A show I would like to reach out
my hand and grab a rope, Flying pride perhaps, or the reins of a
horse that is materializing from the sand, or something equally
dramatic, and begin moving in the direction of earth.
As you progress through the sands of time, you find yourself
moving from sands to the pristine white marbled floor of
a society ball. You see several people dancing
in their French finery and you can see kind of simultaneously
several sword fights taking place from several points in
history. Lots of big famous ones.
Like you know, you could see like a Zorro like figure having
a duel with say an Errol Flynn type figure.
Lots of fun stuff happening there.
But Hypatia, you specifically would notice a very specific
sword fight taking place. Oh dear.
Kind of in the middle of the ball and you seem like a crowd
gathering. You can see what appears to be
your old mentor Gerard fighting with a a nobleman dressed in
what appears to be a wedding tuxedo.
Your your old friend Petrus. Those two are fighting.
What but but but? I think actually Hypatia does
experience a moment of that where she's a little bit like
well done they shouldn't be fighting but also none of this
should be happening and she will dance through the crowd of other
sword fighters. I'm imagining A Kingsman esque
one shot combat choreography where she is truly just twirling
from fight to fight. And just, I mean depending on
probably the result of my role in a moment here.
But hopefully, like, just kind of casually stepping into every
fight she passes and like, either just dodging or like
disarming Zorro and waving at him, or like, blowing a kiss to
Inigo Montoya and just generally like flirting and fighting her
way through to the center of the crowd.
You see your former lover Juliet and also Juliet from Romeo and
Juliet fighting and they both swoon simultaneously.
I did both of them and kiss both of them, yeah.
Perfect. Tell you what, can you give me
the performance on this one? All right.
Are the rest of us seeing this as well or is this just hi
Keisha's bubble? Yeah, OK.
You guys, you guys can all see this.
That is a sick. I'm so glad because my luck is
usually so horrible. That is a sick natural 11 for a
total of 13 which is a crit. Baby hell yeah, you love to see
a crit. You are dancing through crowds,
disarming swordsman I I'm pretty sure.
Like you've absolutely just eviscerated the Black Knight
from Monty Python, just like arguing with you about it.
The ball band has has struck up a tune from one of the the opera
shows that Hypatia was in, so she's also just like singing
along the departure that she played.
Yeah, you see, like the orchestra from the Titanic, just
like directly above you playing music.
And you're just like, oh hell yeah, yeah, it's my theme.
It's my theme song. And you get to the middle of the
crowd watching Gerard and Pinterest duking it out with
Rapier, and they seem to be having some sort of argument.
Gerard starting up. Well, you're not good enough for
her, you never were. And Petra's like you
misunderstand. I am, in fact, the only one who
can be good enough for her. Hypatia will triumphantly tumble
in from the crowd I imagine. Like I'm coming off the sword
fighting and she's doing all kinds of twirls and thrusts and
she dips both Juliet's and then she spins around and as like as
like 3 different people are like bending over to like pick up
their swords that she's disarmed from them.
She runs up them like stairs, leaps off in a swan dive,
somersaults in front, and then thrusts her sword up to catch
both of them in a bind like The Three Musketeers.
Melee, melee. OK, That is an 8 exactly, which
is a normal success. Yeah, I'll take it.
Oh oh we love to see it. You you parry both their blades
in the middle. Fucking 3 Musketeers style dude.
And she says, gentlemen, gentlemen, listen, it's been, to
be honest, a while since I've seen ease of you.
And I'm sorry I didn't write, but I do have other things to
get to at the moment. Can we just call this a
threesome and and and get on with our lives?
This does not have to be a dichotomy.
And I'll bring the Juliet's as well.
That would be a 5 some, wouldn't it?
Everyone's invited to be honest. The truth is no one is enough
for Ipeja d'amour. I, my love, is too great and too
magnificent to to to share with just one.
Why do you think I have so many exes?
Listen, we don't, we don't have to fight.
And by we don't have to fight, I mean we don't have to fight each
other, but we do have to fight King Arthur.
So could you take those swords of yours, both kinds, and point
them in that direction at the mountain?
All right, big important decision moment here Hypeisha,
because you've, you've, you've, you've decided 2 separate
things. Number one, you've decided to
have the most French activity with every famous sword fighter
across history. Or with your friends watching.
With your friends watching might I add.
So what will you do? Will you participate in the in
the orgy idea or will you try to guide these guys to fight King
Arthur? No, I the orgy is a is a is a an
after party sort of deal. Oh, I.
See. I see.
Hypatia Hypatia has been woefully under seductive in this
adventure, but she is objective oriented, correct?
So she, she, she'll, what she'll do is she'll, she'll get, she'll
run around quickly and get everyone's contact information
and like consent forms and those like colored wristbands that say
what kind of stuff you're up for.
And she'll hand those out And then and we'll, we'll circle
back to that later. But for now, it's fighting
Arthur. So yeah, all of the swordsmen
are kind of like on the fence about this whole idea.
Like they like the idea of getting down and dirty with
business here. I feel like I should make you
some sort of check for amassing an army of every swordsman ever.
I've got silver tongue. Yeah, silver tongue will work.
That is another 5, or rather a 5 + 3 to 8, so another success.
Well, with both of your silver type tongues you have
successfully convinced literally every swordsman across history,
past, present and future. To.
Go and fight King Arthur with you.
You've amassed a ghost army here in the Sands, and they are
following behind Hypatia as their leader.
Well, I think that's it. I don't think we have anything
else to do. I patient handled it.
We can go now. Aphasia.
Aphasia gets up. She's like kind of Captain
Morgan with one knee and the sword up frontward and the whole
I just the whole thing they imagine is just like one big
crowd, kind of like at the Addis family, the creepy kids from
Kids Next Door where they're all moving as. 1.
Yeah, shuffling together, but it's all all the swords fighters
and just they're all charging forward and just occasionally,
every now and then, they just turn and smooch the person next
to them. Penwick will turn to to Augusta
because he heard her. Never underestimate Arthur, this
is literally an army Slayer. He's 1.
You have an issue with your brother that I think you need to
work out in therapy. I I can work it out with my big
axe. I was kind of hoping Sal's
flamethrower and like Teddy's guns and all of that stuff would
factor in two though. Just swords.
That's boring. I think we are well armed.
I'm just saying it's never over with this fucking guy.
OK, so we're going to let the Army go 1st and then if there's
anything left we can handle that with the flamethrower and the.
Guns. And then Augusta can take over
so that Penwick can do the cane and Abel thing.
Oh right, so if he dies I'll raise him so you can stab him
again. I'm very content with him just
being dead. Are you sure?
1000%. I raised my eyebrows.
Are you? It just, I don't know if you'll,
you seem like that won't be enough for the soul.
Oh, I'm not concerned about my immortal soul.
Closure. Don't worry about.
It OK, all right? Should I focus then on how the
fuck we get out of here? Oh, I have divination is an
option. I think divination is fun.
OK, great. It's a hot 7, so I think that's
bad. Hot 7 something right?
You could. It is, but you could you?
Could spend some. Points.
Spend a little. You can use the rule of threes
here. You may spend 3 willpower to
improve your rule by three. All right, I will do that even
though willpower is like my most important step, but OK, so that
puts me at an 8 for willpower then, and then that bumps me up
to A10. OK, A10 will do.
As you are dividing the way to go, you could almost see a path
open for you in the sand. Like, like, think of like a
literal path made of glass, just kind of like winding its way
through and heading up toward King Arthur that only you can
see. Interesting, seems like the way
we leave is near your brother. Incredible.
Just like I said, it was all right.
OK, All right. You know.
So Hypatia has the army. We know where our exit is.
I think that just leaves myself, Merritt, Salvador and Teddy, and
quite frankly, Teddy and I are the only two have six who have
successfully landed a blow on time Wizards here today, so I
wouldn't mind if she and I took the lead on today.
Doesn't exist, Kenwick. This adventure that Merritt, I
swear to God, you're busting my ass this whole time.
I'm just trying to help. I mean, Teddy does have the
guns, so. Teddy has the guns and the blow
dot and the expertise, so I would feel great about she and I
drawing Arthur's Iyer buying Hypatia time with the army.
Augusta can secure our route to the exit and then Meriton
Salvador can do goofy magic time shit.
Sounds wonderful. Do we want to put our hands in?
Are you with me, Teddy? I am with you.
I also have fire. And you have fire, I say with my
eyes and really big. OK, well.
In that case, if you 2 are going to be leading the charge here,
you're following the path that Augusta has made-up towards King
Arthur. When Teddy, you hear a familiar
voice calling out to you from a 1970s Camaro.
All the time shot. Don't you want to be one of my
girls and go and have wild adventures with me throughout
Tiger Shed? Wasn't expecting naplots with.
It's Bond. It's every James Bond in the
same car. Yeah, it's a clown car.
It's a clown car. All of them is in it.
It's. A very long Camaro the.
Infinite. Channel 7.
Teddy will look over the most confused look and just be like I
work alone. Bond.
All of them. Are heartbroken.
Amazing. That's fine, just The Sims
negative relationship pops up. You see every James Bond kind of
hang their head and dejectedly drive away.
Dang, there goes my martinis. And then Teddy will look at pen
wigs like we ready to go in. I have to tell you, I admire
your courage in the face of absolute sexual presence.
It takes a strong will to pull that off.
I'm proud of you. Thank you.
Yes, let's go slay my stupid brother.
Following the path that Augusta had made, you come across what
appears to be a nunnery. Oh, that's strange.
In the middle of time, you you keep walking forward and the
walls of it kind of separate from the building itself, and
you find yourself inside you. You see an older woman in in her
little, her habit and and dress kind of, you know, feeding the
poor, so to speak. And the the the smallest and
littlest of them all goes up to this this woman and asks him the
saddest voice you've possibly ever heard this saddest little
urchin boy say. Sister Mary, when is Sister
Augusta gonna come home? Wow.
Damn gusto like rubs her eyes like is this?
Is this happening? Are you here?
Are you real? Oh yes, they're here.
They're real and they're sad. She's going to drop a bag full
of 18 gold and and I, I'm not going to use this probably, so
I'll also drop the rifle. I brought, I brought presents.
It was just I was away working. The little, the little boy Benny
has like the biggest eyes you've ever seen on a child ever.
And just like runs up to you and just like hugs you around the
neck and he goes, please don't leave again.
I got so scared. Oh, well, OK, here's the thing.
I do have to leave again because there's this person who's
completely fucked up a time. But look, Mary Margaret can can
protect you with this. And I give Mary Margaret the the
rifle and then I give a little daddy all the gold.
And it was like, and look, when you're never going to be hungry
again because we have all this money now.
Oh, Costa, if I, if I may, I think it is incredibly
irresponsible that you sit, you come here, you drop a weapon
into my hands and, and, and give this little boy all of your
money that you've earned on your adventures.
I think I, I think it's time for you to come home and, and stop
living this, this, this life of extravagance and debauchery that
you've been, you've been living and, and sorely neglecting your
duties here at the nunnery. Could I do that after the we
take care of? Do you understand that word that
you're a nunnery in the middle of a desert?
Now more than ever, we need to cling on to what is saying in
the eyes of the Lord. Right.
And I'm going to go, you know what?
I'm going to go talk to the Lord real quick and I'll be right
back. And hopefully we'll get this
whole thing sorted out. Like, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go
pray about it, OK? Do you have any skills that can
get you out of this situation because you currently have a
little an urchin boy hanging off of your neck.
What you could do if you if you want to be a little saucy here
is you can use the wits skill. I can figure it out which before
any skill check, if you don't have a relevant skill in it, you
can spend 2 widths to make that check as if your outlaw had a
one in that skill. OK, so this is so Augusta was
hanging out with Sherlock Holmes earlier and they were getting
along. And so now Augusta is having the
Sherlock Holmes moment, putting pieces together.
We'll see how that goes. Watch, I'm going to get, I'm
going to get like a three. Or you're it's doing the thing
from Sherlock where like the. Texas, why?
I just spoke that into existence.
I got a four with the plus one. Oh Oh dear, I'm having the.
I'm having the brain like the connections, but I'm connecting
things that have nothing to do with each other.
The camera turns and you're just literally connecting visual
things you can see like it's the text is floating and you're just
describing the stuff in the time vortex.
Rifle fire. I would like to point behind her
and say oh look, it's Jesus and then run do.
You have any relevant like deception type?
I have a four in thievery, does that give me anything?
Sure. You know what?
Fuck it, I'll give you a four. You are thieving them of a
caretaker. Yeah.
Oh God. Stealing yourself away from the
nunnery. That's a 13.
You know what I think that works?
You you sleight of hand the orphan off your neck and and
point them in the direction of where you know the cross is in
the nunnery, only to find the actual real Jesus Christ kind of
just hanging out. That's concerning.
OK, you stay here. I'm gonna go by.
I tousled the orphan's hair as we run past him.
I'll be back. It's not.
We're in the middle of a battle. I can't just stay here.
Then nothing will get fixed. It's for their own good.
Salvador, that's all. Yeah, running next to, I believe
merit. Yeah, I so high patience with
the Army. We've got our tanks in the front
and and Augusta is kind of our navigator.
So yeah, it makes sense that we would be kind of clustered in
the back. Me and my good pal Sal.
Salvador, she's trying to figure out.
I was like, I wonder if I can make this swim thrower explode.
You would. You're going to throw it first,
right? Like so that it doesn't explode
in your hands. Throwing is an option, you are
right. We don't want to blow you up, we
want to blow up. If it gestures.
Vaguely. Yes, but if it if it fixes time
and space, I think it's a pippin IF history.
Have we considered not fixing time and space?
It's pretty cool. No, you're.
Right. I disagree.
Time and space. No, I disagree.
You're right. You're right.
You're you have a a penchant for chaos.
And this chaos is a little more than most of us.
Like I I want to eat normal food again.
No, no, no, I already said you're right.
I don't know why you're continuing to try to convince
me. Because the look on your face.
OK, Anyways, let's go forward. What kind of surprises are going
to happen to us in the middle of a desert?
I'm glad you asked. Fuck.
As you proceed through the desert of time you you catch a
glimpse of a a small family around a a what appears to be a
grave which is funny considering the person that is in the grave
is also standing by the grave. You see, you see Ben Thalo and
their son John Thalamu then make the Ben Thalo's grave and they
kind of like glance in your direction and they go fucking
wide eyed at seeing you. Dear.
And John, all of you just kind of like marches up through the
sands of time and just kind of like grabs you by the lapel.
It's like you could have stopped this.
You could have stopped all of this.
Hold arms out. It's like I look, I I was trying
and I know the implications were not great, but it it would have
been worse if I stopped it. Sorry, but he's right there.
All these years you think a simple sorry would have cut.
I know he's here. He described how he died to me.
I I can't let you live. I can't.
There is truly nothing that could make up for what I've did.
Maybe you're right, but if you, you have to give me at least
like 10 minutes so we could go back to like normal time.
And you know what, you could shoot me dead in the street.
But Arthur over there needs to die first.
Is it possible for you to give me a silver tongue?
Oh, of course. OK, so that's a six and a 2.
So it's going to be a nine with the plus one.
Very, very nice. You'd love to see it.
He John Thalamu kind of like looks at the at the swirling
vortex of insanity around him. He he watches as a bicycle
passes overhead and crashes into a medieval castle.
And he just kind of let's go of you puts his hand on his head
and goes I'm never going to be able to forgive you for what
you've done. But there are more important
things that need to get taken care of right now.
I I'm going to spend some time with my father and then as soon
as all this is fixed, I'm going to kill you the.
Dog solemnly. I understand.
I got to go. I'll see you after probably I
think. Just kind of like throws a soap
right into the dirt and just kind of like returns back to the
grave. That sounded like some really
intense shit, and I'm sorry, but they're going to kill one of the
saviors of the universe. Come on.
I, I, I don't don't deserve it. Well, Merritt, since you're so
excited to get the show on the road as as you March along with
the army of swordsmen and your your your loyal friends see a
single man on a White Horse in a just absolutely beautiful
wedding outfit suit. Kind of like March up to the
group and dismount his horse and he is looking like he's going to
go wrap his arms around you. Absolutely fucking not, I'm
dodging out of the way. Meredith, all of his time, all
these years. No, no, no, no, no.
Do. I look like a noble woman to
you. I mean you, you look exactly the
same, but you've, you've cut your hair.
That's really the only difference that I'm seeing.
You need to get your eyes checked.
Then I don't know. I where.
Who is this Meredith? Why are you looking for her in
the middle of a time desert? We have things to do.
The, the way I see it, it's, it's, it must be destiny.
It must be fate, no? Where else would I find you
except at the end of the universe?
Listen, listen. You're you have done nothing
wrong. Let me be clear about this.
You have done nothing wrong. But my love.
Oh no, our parents signed contracts, Timothy.
Kind of like just slumps his shoulders.
Look, you're cool. I would kiss you.
I would not marry you. He looks like he's the saddest
he's ever been. You're a grown.
Man, then but but I've spent my life trying to find you.
I I I I I don't know what else to say.
I like a. Year.
For you, it's been like a year. And every day awakening torment.
Oh my God, This is why I didn't want to marry you in the 1st
place actually. You're so non committal to
everything. So OK, there you go.
There you go. What the fuck are you doing,
man? I just, I don't have any purpose
in life. Do you think I'm going to have
any purpose as soon as this is all over?
What do you like I'm. Just going to go.
I don't know. I like.
Figure that shit out and do it. I don't understand what's hard
about this just. Kind of like looks over at his
horse and he gets back on. It's like, you know what, if you
think I'm not worth it and then fuck it, by all means just go
off and have your adventures do whatever the hell you want.
Just. Hey, we can meet up for a drink
if you're ever in town. Would you ever consider giving
me a genuine chance? Ever.
Like I'm down, just not for the whole like children and the the
the sitting and home and. He never will grow off and he
just turned his horse around and marches off into the sands of
time somewhere. It has nothing to do.
I'm literally older than him now.
Want to talk about it? Well, first of all, I'm not even
that person that he mentioned, so it it's not a thing.
Sure, want to talk about it? Merritt is bright fucking red.
You're right. Let's go Arthur 1st and then,
you know, talk like friends. Yeah, yeah, All right, stop not
giving him the the the cool knife that unfolded because it
has a bottle opener and he seems like he needed a drink, but
like. Later.
He would think that there's some
kind of weird token thing and. Yes, you know the give him and
then cheeky thing from Mile. You know I understand this
arranged marriage. Am I right?
I'll I'll have some stories to tell you after we kill this
fucker before I die. Probably.
See, we need to go out for a
drink Salvador. Not like in the like dating way
but just like to chill. No, yes, I understand, of
course. You are moments away from the
big fight with King Arthur. He is dangerously close,
however, an old man with a possibly long beard.
Not impossibly. I want to make that very clear.
A. Logically, long beard.
Wearing a crown with a large shield that looks a lot like
yours. Kay pauses in front of the army.
And he kind of glances you over and he goes, My son, why must
you and your brother constantly fight?
It is fucking fault you. Always take that sort of tone
with Arthur. Why does it have to be a fault?
Why? Why can't you just?
I refuse to worship a wart. Why cannot you accept that this
is God's will, that he is the rightful king of the Britains?
Oh, that's funny. I I mean genuinely rightful heir
who has a right to lead. Not you with that kind of
attitude, boy. You, more than anyone should
know it's a mad accumulation of power.
Oh, he pulled the sword out of a rock.
Oh, he knows how to talk to people.
Oh, he has a rich father who didn't give a shit about him
until he was important. What the fuck ever, Lord
Pendragon? He draws his blade.
Then I suppose I just have to do what I should have done all
those years ago, OK. Cool. 2 for one for Kay
Pendragon today, I suppose. I pull out my hand axe.
All right, you have the option here.
He's he's, he's going to charge at you.
I'm not going to make an attack roll because that's not how sure
what works. Yeah, I'll make an attack or
I'll make a roll for melee. Have fun, have fun.
All right, you are going ahead and swinging away at with their
pen dragon here. Give me, give me some damage.
I'm not even going to like dodge.
He's coming at me. I'm not approaching this like
like like tactically at all. I am just standing there waiting
for me to get close to me and then swinging as hard as I can
with my axe. Oh, all right, give me, give me
a damage rule with your axe there then.
It's 2D6, right? Oh, it's three.
Yeah. Well in that case I did 16
damage. Deuces.
Holy 5. Two sixes and a four.
Dude, you you leave a nasty gash in his neck as you as you swing
at your father. But but he's going to be
swinging also. Here, I didn't kill him.
Oh, shoot. Normally that damage is kill
town OK? Bring it on.
Normally that damage is kill town, but we're in the end game,
baby. I'm giving people a lots more
health. I'm gonna need you to make me a
saving throw against his. His attack here for your
endurance. Oh, so I have to roll what under
what my endurance is, right? I believe that's how it.
Works. Yeah, I automatically succeed.
What? What's your endurance 13?
You are ridiculous. Damn.
You are ridiculous, home slice. When you're old, When you become
an outlaw. Mm hmm, I'm 37 and I've seen
some shit. Since you automatically succeed
in defending yourself because you're just so endurance, he he
swings down hard on your arm and you bring your shield up to
defend yourself as you know you are want to do because you have
the same shield as him. That's your father's shield,
after all, and he absolutely splits it in twain with the
force of his attack, breaking the bond of father and son.
Well, there it is then, eh? If you go against the order of
the round table, there'll be nothing left for you.
Hey Uther, before I push my axe a bit further into your spine
and your vertebrae, few quick questions for you.
What is the core principle of the Knights of the Round Table?
Core tenets not to make murder of violence and be chivalrous
above all else. Correct.
So what exactly is just a chivalrous about conquering all
of history throughout all of time?
Becoming a tyrant? Unleashing your powerful wizard
on the quote UN quote rightful rulers of time.
Time has forgotten what it means to be shiftless.
It's our job to teach them. I half agree you have forgotten,
but I also have to agree with the tenants.
Be chivalrous in all things, but sometimes murder is the answer.
I push my axe further in. Sir with a Pendragon gurgles out
some kind of reply. You can't really make out what
it is because of all the blood, however, and you see the light
go from his eyes as he dies. Do you need me to raise him so
you can know what he said? Nope.
OK. Greetings and salutations, fans
of good podcasts. It's me, your producer Grant,
and I'm here to tell you about more fantastic things you should
know about, starting with our friends over at The Heart as a
Dungeon who are trying to solve what happened at a certain
street corner. All right, this is giddy and
meander. Field reporter for the Trying
Times. I've just finished up my
investigation. 14 interviews with key witnesses.
My report will be completed by January 15th and I will be
releasing it to the public. And there's nothing you can
really do to stop me. I doubt anyone will leave him to
leave me. Corner of Pleasure in West River
is a new series from the Heart is a Dungeon that will begin
this January. It follows 14 individuals in the
city of Pangaea experiencing a world changing event.
Tune in, spread the word, don't let them convince the world it
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there at the corner of Pleasure in West River.
We just need to find out what. I say it all the time, but there
really is nothing quite like The Heart as a Dungeon.
A singularly unique show in the A Hell in the Podcast space, The
corner of Pleasure in West River is another brilliant feather in
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Singularly focused episodes, one player per show trying to get to
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and it's a lot of fun to listen to if you're a red string
theorist or if you're the kind of person that loves good
emotional, vulnerable storytelling.
Oh, and hey, I'm on the corner of place Grand West River.
There's a whole episode that I'm on, so I biased.
I'm just biased, OK? And Speaking of things that are
cool, the Crit Awards are coming up here soon.
Today is April 28th and the nominations for such are going
to close on Wednesday, April 30th.
And the Game Master Monday had themselves a pretty big 2024 and
we would love to be considered on your nominating block.
If you head over to critawards.org, there's a few
categories we feel we qualify for, including Best Legacy
Podcast, Best Upcoming Twitch Channel, Best Game Master, Indie
for Me, Best Series for Hell Wailers, Best One Shot for
Rafenheim, and we'd like you to consider our live show Castaway
The Island for Best Charity TTRPG event.
We also have some friends of the show and people who've been on
the show who we feel are worthy of your votes.
We are nominating Sadie Paisley for best player Indie for her
work on Bunnies and Burrows. We are nominating Ross for his
work as Best villain on Hell Wailers.
We are nominating Tamlin or Gremlin Frog Art for Best
Character Artist for their work on Bunnies and Burrows.
And you can nominate our Twitch producer, GN Burb as Best Twitch
Producer and Best Overlay for Castaway the Island.
We have a full list of the awards we think we're qualified
for. If you want a little bit more
ammunition for us, you can head over to any of our socials on
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nomination. We've worked really hard this
past year and grown exponentially, and we'd love to
cap that off with a nomination, maybe even a win next.
If you've been a fan of Sherwood Kill the Round Table and aren't
just hate listening right now, you should join us on Saturday,
May 3rd at 3:00 PM Pacific Time. We're going to be doing a live
Q&A with the full cast answering all your questions about this
miniseries. This will probably be the last
large scale project you see from this game's GM Jenny, so it'd be
a good opportunity to come send her off as she pursues other
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and, and say mean things about us.
Finally, I have one more plug here for you.
Our next Game Master Presents miniseries will be starting next
week on May 7th. Please join us for The City I
Love It Speaks to Me, a noir adventure featuring 2 detectives
and the city they are in love with.
It'll be GM by the game's creator Jellyfish Lines and it
will be starring Andy Sonata and a Ghost of Eli that is going to
be starting May 7th, 8:00 PM Eastern Time, 5:00 PM Pacific
only on our Twitch channel. It's going to be a three-part
series and the setup is dope as fuck.
I'm so excited. You need to be there.
It's going to be cool. It's going to be brooding, it's
going to be gothic and sad and hot.
I was promised it would be hot. If that kind of thing appeals to
you, you should join us next Wednesday on Twitch.
And now we get back to the Time Adventure action as we finish
off Sherwood Hill, the Round Table.
Behind King Arthur you can see every single knight of the round
table except for two, the one who just died.
And also it's OK. Sure.
From pretty much any point in history, past, present, future,
what have you, some kingsmen are there because that's kind of
like how that story went, I think.
And King Arthur just kind of takes his helmet off and he's
handsome as hell, first of all. OK, just put that out there.
And he addresses it. A lot of you going.
So it comes to this, does it? It's down to you and it's down
to me. Don't you realize what we've
tried to accomplish throughout all of this?
Don't you realize that we could have a better future?
One free of poverty, one free of pain?
Time has forgotten chivalry. Time has forgotten peace.
There is no respect, There is no joy in the future.
I have seen it. Merlin has deigned to show me
all of time, and it is wretched and licentious.
There is nothing worth living. For we found joy, right, guys,
We found joy in those two futures we visited, right?
I feel like licentiousness is. I mean, how can you have joy
without licentiousness? I don't know what that word
means. Big horny.
Got it. Your sense of chivalry and
whatever the fuck you call justice is right.
That's even now. You're antiquated.
Get the fuck off your high horse and just believe what the world
needs. A monarch.
No, we don't even need a monarch.
Now I'm shooting with a flamethrower.
Merlin is there, and he puts up like a little magical barrier to
defend the gig. You and your fucking wizard.
Did you miss the part where he was in hell?
Do you think you should be listening to him when he went to
hell? All leaders, all Knights, all
Wizards, all go to hell. It's part of the gig.
I think you're chill, OK? Oh, I'm definitely going to
hell. Did you see what I did to my dad
just now? Oh boy.
King Arthur saying that he's not going to be getting you to join
his side. Besides, well, if they're going
to try to stop me, might as well go out with a bang.
He points Excalibur towards the group and the Knights of the
Round Table charge forward and start engaging with the armies
of sword fighters from across all history.
Each of you are going to be in Malay with a Knight of the Round
Table. So, so narratively speaking, you
all are getting attacked at the same time.
But we're going to start with Teddy because you're the, you're
the big front tank with Kate. Oh.
I guess we are in the front, that is my bad.
Fucking Sir Lance a lot. Why not?
We should bring this guy back from the dead.
I think it's funny that he's here again.
He he he brings his blade that he kind of like is on the attack
to to come get you. Go ahead and make me a What
weapon are you using? I was just using because not
because all it says is a load art and a gun with a silencer.
Let's make a rain check so you can just shoot this guy.
Yeah, my range is 11. I believe we agree that your
pistol is. Three days 6.
Damage, yeah. 15. Big damage.
Big demon. We'd love to see big damage.
OK, so you see Sir Lancelot, like, charging with you at a
sword and you're just kind of like pulling Indiana Jones on
him and just shoot him in the fucking head.
Falls over dead. Yeah, Teddy's like, why did you
bring a sword to a gunfight and then bang?
Fucking idiot. Stupid.
I love the idea that you have like a big shield and also a
gun. Yeah, like she's like has the
gun on top of the shield kind of thing, trying to still block her
face with the guns on top. You're fucking riot policing
this shit my. Yeah, Teddy says Hang.
She's ready. All right, Sir Kay, you are our
second tank. It is time for you to be
attacked by Sir Dalahad. Didn't Mary kill you once?
Probably. I'm not entirely sure how I'm
here either. Time is stupid.
I pull out my axe. All right, let's have you do
the. Let's have you do the skill
check first. Well, I roll the 10 with +2,
with +2 is 12, so I crit. Well fuck me I guess.
Jesus. So you you pull out your axe,
you get it in both hands, and you do a mighty swing and
decapitate him once again. And didn't I do this before?
2nd 2nd phalanx here. Ha ha, what ho?
So you, you seem raring to go there high patient.
Let's have you, Let's have you. Always OK.
Always. I have never wanted to stab
someone more in my life than right now.
Clearly I also I had AI don't I may have missed the word is is
do we see Lady Guinevere anywhere?
You know what? Fuck it, she's here.
Sure, the. Fuck your wife, Arthur.
She. She's casting spells, she's
doing wizard shit. We I don't know if that's cat
into the round table, but fuck it, she's a wizard now.
I think bet if there will be a fun a fun matchup for you.
He's got like his little pole arm and it's like it's time for
you to die. Hypatia leaps back and does the
fencing pose and says ha ha, I learned this technique from your
comrade in arms and now I will use it to defeat you quite
handily and I will do a cool 6 sword trick that Sir K showed me
when we were in prison and training.
I don't know what that sword trick is because I don't.
It's probably not nearly as flashy as Hypatia's normal shit,
but actually that's probably what it is.
It's she. She does all the like.
She, like, flips the sword and does all kinds of crazy.
And then she's like, I will do this sick move.
And then she does like, it's just a very normal, like, like
him. A manual.
Yeah, just a regular thrust that he wasn't expecting.
Get give me a melee still check and let's see if you fail.
That is A10 and because Kay trained me in melee to A2, that
is a 12. That's another crit.
You love to see critical successes.
I I do do the thrust it gets him and then as he's he like his
pole arm goes into the dirt. I run up on the pole arm like a
tightrope. I do the like Kung Fu flurry
kick him in the face. And then I I land next to
Guinevere, and I take her hand and I kiss it, and I say, My
lady. She kind of looks back at
Arthur, looks back at you, and kind of like there's like those
little eyebrow raised. Eyebrows back.
We've no one's looking. I raised my eyebrows at Arthur
like. I saw, I saw a blue closet
floating by that way that we could probably sneak into.
First of all, shut up, that's really funny.
Second of all, fuck you. What's the what's the stealth
check that I could have you making this?
I think we I got the. Three.
Yeah, yeah, let's do a favorite. That's that is a 7 + 1.
That's an 8. You know what?
This is just funny enough that I'm going to have you, like,
steal landing point of view away from King Arthur a second time.
You, you and you and she go kind of like in this kind of obscure
area away from the battlefield. And we're just going to say
whatever happens, happens. Sister Augusta, you're being
accosted by Serge Wayne. Amazing as Sir Gawain goes to
attack Augusta, can it go right through her as she has set up
her projector wristwatch to create an illusion of herself
and this snuck away? That's fun.
OK, let's call it source reefs of figuring out how to work this
watch that he gave you so. We've been with the three.
I've rolled 2 ones. Oh no, I'm.
I'm gonna burn some stuff. I wanna burn some stuff just to
get it up to an 8. You know the images.
The images part of the illusions does say.
Convincing observers that the illusion represents a specific
individual may require a separate deception skill check.
So if you want to salvage this without spending, we could have
you do that. So it's a really bad hologram.
So it's like glitching in and out.
But to be fair, most most of these people know that she's a
necromancer, so maybe that's just like a weird thing she's
doing. You guys, the stats right now,
they're low. I'm just.
I mean, it's the final battle. You might as well spend what you
got. Yeah, that's.
Fair. OK, OK, that's really good.
So that's I can add that's 11 because it's A5 and A6.
Hell yeah. And then I don't add anything to
it because I just get a straight roll, right?
So. It counts as being one because
you. Spent then 12, then I say 12.
So it's a. It's a glitchy image, but it
looks like identical to a dust. He thinks it's a ghost.
Yeah, it's. Like good heavens spirits like
slashes through the the ghost image and lands his fucking
sword in the dirt. Amazing as he is distracted with
that. Or is there something on the
knight who attacked my my illusion that I could swipe as
he like falls through it basically?
Let me think here, So Serge Wayne would carry some knives on
his person, like kind of just on his belt.
If you want to look at King Arthur and Merlin specifically,
Merlin would have a a spell book kind of attached to his hip by
like a a little leather bandolier.
As the guy is attacking the illusion, can I just try and
swipe his helmet and switch it? Because Augusta is in full plate
armor that already belongs to these Knights.
So I just want to switch with like the the helmet that they're
currently wearing so that I can make my way up there and look
like I'm one of the Knights of the Round table.
I'll give it to you. Amazing.
OK, that is 6 + 4, so 10. Yeah, you know what?
He's he's too busy trying to get his sword out of the sand free
for him to really notice that his helmet's gone missing.
But he does realize that his head does not feel protected
afterwards. And he's like, what?
What the devil? But you're already.
Gone. I, I, I I threw my other helmet
behind me and took off. So now I'm dressed up as one of
the Knights at the round table, making my way up to Arthur.
Salvador, you my friend, are being attacked by Sir Tristan.
I am going to attacks you with my swords.
Oh cute, I would like to. I want to use my quarter staff
stash magic staff deal if you would.
All righty. I would I would love to see you
do this actually. SO2D6 plus melee.
Well that is A6 and A5 and I have a + 1.
That, I believe, is also a critical success.
I think it's time for some of the really just flashy as fuck.
So it looks like they're actually going to shoot the
flamethrower. Then the season walks over.
I want to toss Tristan the flamethrower, take out the rows
which turns to a staff, knock him on the head sideways so he
falls to the ground and throws the staff and the shovelhead
appears and just right through the neck.
He catches the flamethrower. What am I supposed to do with
it? Oh no.
And then you clobber him upside the helm, exposing just enough
of his neck that you can plunge the spade deep and sever his
head. Couldn't kill me with your
sword. Shut up.
Hello, Merritt. Hey, what's up?
Who am I fun? Sir Pelius, we haven't seen him
in a while. Real Sir Pelleus move.
Total Dick, that Sir Pelleus and he's he's coming up to you with
a Lance just kind of like charging you.
Cool. I think so.
Merritt does have like she's dual wielding daggers, but just
as a reminder, one of her daggers is a Swiss army knife
and she does have like multiple extensions of it out.
I think primarily though, she, her plan is dodge kind of passed
and down to sweep out Pelleus's legs so that he tilts forward
and his Lance kind of vaults him further into the sand dunes and
we'll go from there. You know what?
I kind of love that. We're using physics here I and
I'm trying to be like real nimble and dodging here.
So OK, I rolled 35 so no matter what it's a 10 + 1 for an 11.
That's. Baller, you know.
I might use. I know this just because I have
not spent a single point of any of my stats since we had our
rest. I just want to make it into a
crit to make this happen. Let's make it into a crit.
Let's crit every single night of the round table in a row.
Why the fuck I? Could not, I could not break the
trend. So yeah, I sweep his legs out
from under him. He topples forward.
Just some leverage from that Lance digging into that soft
sand, falls flat on his face. And I'm just going to come over
and do I do this? Yeah, I think I do.
I sit on his back knee, one knee on each side, and hold my dagger
up to his throat. Go on then, kill me.
Do you yield? Death before disorder kill me.
OK, fine I guess, Dick. Move.
That's her Pelleus. What a Pelleus move.
Gross. I've never actually done the
murdering part. I wipe my hands off on his Cape.
Whatever loose fabric is outside of the plate armor and.
His like this little Templar shirt.
Yeah. OK, I, I, I stand up and look
around at everybody who has also murdered their knight.
I look at Arthur. You see the the carnage
continuing and Sir Arthur draws Excalibur and begins to charge
into the fray at the six of you with Merlin at his side, looking
a little nervous. My Liege, I, I, I must.
OK? How do I advise you to not be an
idiot in this circumstance? Each of you make me an endurance
saving throw. Please, I'm going to use the
universal save to roll luck instead.
That's fair because my endurance right now?
Is my endurance sucks dude. That's.
Fair my endurance. Not that I've taken damage, it
just sucks in the 1st place. That's fair.
Not all, not all of us are in. Not all of us are durable.
That's a six, but my luck is 9 so I pass.
When you use luck it goes down right?
Correct by one by one point. Great.
You must spend one luck after the role.
I succeeded with A5 under 8. Nice.
I did 6 under 7. My endurance is a 13.
I wrote a six. Well, without my shield, my
endurance is an 11. I wrote a 12.
Oh my God. So each of the six of you sends,
Sir K are able to definitely avoid getting hit by the clean
massive sweep of Excalibur and whatever magical energy that
holy blade happens to contain. What's your K when we get to you
on his assault, he is able to cross blade with you.
And as you're going up to defend yourself with the kind of like
handle of your axe, Excalibur kind of hits it, cleaves it, and
you now have Excalibur lodged in your shoulder.
It's kind of unfair to use the most powerful weapon in history
against a hand axe wart. Do you think fairness is what
God had in mind? Weird thing to say, man.
Weird thing to say. You're against fairness now.
You're against justice. You're against equity?
Future cares not for these principles.
Oh for fuck's sake, just so stupid and holy of them now I
like push him off of me and I'm just like everyone gets so big
for the bridge. Did you get one good idea?
And you think you're God's gift to leadership?
Shut the fuck up. Could I be standing next to
Arthur because I once again look like one of the Knights of the
round table? Like I'm about to help hit K, I
want to take out my wine bottle and like go to swing at K but
then like turn around and hit Arthur in the face.
That's really funny. You know what?
Yeah. And because for the for the call
back, can I suddenly appear from well, I guess I was here because
I had to dodge the fight. Yeah, you're here.
So can I get down hands and knees to to tabletop him like we
tried to do the landscape so long ago with this exact
scenario? You know what, Narratively it's
really funny and I'll allow it. OK I'm I'm burning wits again to
be able to do this. You're going to have none left
and I love that for you considering you're drunk as
fuck. And that is a that is A7 plus
1/8. Nice.
You bash King Arthur in the back of the head with a wine bottle.
Roll for damage for me real quick.
Great. The damage on this wine bottle
is 46. Oh my God, that's two sixes.
OK, so that's so it's two sixes and a one.
So we're at we're at 13 so far and that's a four.
So what did I say? So 17 you're.
Fucking righteous. The bottle smashed firmly over
King Arthur's head. You can see a whole bunch of
glass, kind of like, embedded in his head there.
He's pleading pretty profusely. He he trips over Hypatia,
pulling out Excalibur from your shoulder.
There. I'm going to.
I'm going to say that Excalibur is a 46 damage weapon, 10
damage. I'm just going to be using the
quarter staff because like, yeah, I'm not going to fight a
wizard with magic. Fuck it.
Fair enough, that makes sense. I was a gardener in my past
life. Take this shit Conk, I got an.
Yeah. Got an 11?
Yeah. Smokes.
Yeah. I think I'm just going.
I'm with the daggers. I was going to say, can I steal
his power? And then we did not realize this
in the original Sherwood. You guys, it takes a full hour
of ritual spell casting to steal somebody's power.
Yeah. So someone, but since time
doesn't exist, I'll give it. To you.
Oh, that's right. Time's not real.
Jenny, can I make a sorcery check?
OK, can I make a check? Just grab him like I'm imagining
Sal? Like knocking him over with this
staff strike or something? Teddy, hold him down.
I will, I've been waiting all day for this and Teddy get some
like football stance and ready to tackle, zooming in, shield up
and everything. Melee him, tackle him, get him.
Somewhere in time, the 1985 bear standing behind her.
Yeah. Small but mighty Teddy.
I roll A10. Yeah, heck.
OK, OK, OK, so Teddy and Sal, I'm going to have you go ahead
and roll for damage. Teddy, just so you know, you're
rolling for your Shields damage, which if I'm not wrong, fields
can also be used as a 2D6 weapon in this case, so I'll give you
that. And then your quarter step is
4D6 if I recall because it works on NO3D636.
Excuse. Me I'm wrong 3D.
Six, I'll take the 4D6, but to be fair, I mean it's fine.
That's just a 14 damage from me. Just sort of.
You know. Just the 12 over here.
Casual casual fucking box cars over there from fucking Teddy.
The power of the bear is in the. Power of the bear, you.
Merlin is looking really worse for wear.
He is hurting bad, bloody nosed like fucking broken arms and
legs. He would not be able to resist
you stealing his power if he. Trained.
So first thing I do is I steal his hat because Augusta should
be allowed to keep it this time, because we'll have King Arthur's
head to prove that we completed the mission.
And then would you like me to roll sorcery?
I would love you to roll sorcery.
OK, so sorceress, right? Bond of power here.
I'm gonna say I'm gonna, I'm, I'm spending a bunch of
willpower here because I feel like narratively this is sick as
hell If I do that, OK, do it. So the cost of the bond of power
ritual is 2 for each person in the bond, which can be shared by
the whole group. I can shoulder as much as like
three of us. Which is perfect because there
are three of you in this ritual. Well, Merlin is included in
that, so it's 4. Is anybody else willing to spend
2 willpower to help me with this sorceress?
Right. I got you, fan.
Thank you. And I have done this before.
I have stolen this man's before. Would you say that cancels out
the disadvantage of this being four people involved?
I I'd say so you know what, I think your prior knowledge would
help here. Great.
OK so I am going to roll just straight sorcery check a POW.
OK +2 for my sorcery gets us to A7 and I am going to spend my
remaining 3 willpower that I budgeted for this, leaving me at
1 willpower after this. This is why I said I could
shoulder up to six because I knew I might need it.
For the price of the the Arcane control, you can spend 3
willpower for a failed sorcery or arcane talent.
Beautiful. It's harder than last time, I
will give you that, because his power seems to have increased
dramatically since last time, given the chaos all around you.
But you are able to steal Merlin's power.
You watch as he fades from an old man into a skeleton into
dust as Hellfire consumes him. Is sent back to hell however,
Merlin being the catalyst. Taking all of this into
consideration, the Knights of the Round Table and Sir Arthur
are also aging incredibly rapidly and fading into dust
from whence they came. You do notice, however, that Sir
Kay not being of your time, is also fading.
Oh, all right, here we go. Can we do?
Something to loop him in and send some of this power to
Penwick. You can certainly try.
What do you get? Or can I just use necromancy?
Kay holds both his hands up. As I remember what I told you at
the beginning, you are meant to be in the time you were born in.
Fuck that, you're fun to hang with.
I run up and stab him with the necromancy syringe that I got
from James Bond do. You want to help out Augusta?
Do you want to double necromancy at this time?
Yeah. Sure, just to help out.
Amazing. I think Merlin probably knew
some necromancy, so I am channelling some of the power I
stole into. This as well.
Oh 100% he he knew all the. Specks.
Absolutely not. You're not going anywhere.
I I have to. Do you want us to roll anything
to keep Penwick from fading into obscurity?
Yeah, both of you give me a necromancy check.
OK, I do do what? What is Merlin's skill level at
Necromancy please? Because I'm using his.
Math. I was going to say he's like a +
4. Great, that's a nine from me for
necromancy. 11. Sick and sick.
Well, he's undead essentially. Now you've essentially kind of
brought him back from the dead and he can just roam around the
realm of a living if he wants to.
Look, if I'm being honest, I think it's an improvement, so.
I'm looking at my hands, I'm looking at Excalibur with my
shoulder, and I'm just like, well, I suppose history needs a
Pendragon roaming around. I like, I pull the sword from
the shoulder. I'm just like holding it now.
I've always kind of wondered what it feels like.
And. Regular.
Yeah, the checks. Out less powerful than a
flamethrower, possibly. I have to assume, but I don't
know. Most powerful sword in history?
Not the most powerful weapon in history.
You go probably strap it to the flamethrower like a bayonet.
There's an. Idea all I'm saying.
Is give it to a museum or? Something.
Oh, absolutely not. OK, this is mine now.
It's I, I, I struggle to say thank you, but I am appreciative
to have found a new group to associate with.
I wasn't exactly liked in the Round Table, if you will, so
thank you for caring enough to pluck me from the sands of time.
I will try to live my life in a way that deems that choice
worthy. And you're stuck with us.
I punch his injured shoulder. I I kind of wish I was dead, but
that's all right. If the six of us have one thing
in common, it is that we are all largely disliked by the English
monarchy, so you're in good company.
I I I put arms around Salvador and Teddy and do a jolly kick.
All right, cheers. I finally opened the wine
bottle. So I have.
An idea before we go home. When we were in Mr. Bond's whole
thing, there was this guy named Ronald Reagan, and he seemed
like he sucked. You want to kill him?
We. Steal his power, you know, if I
don't have to go back right away the longer I live so.
As you are all helping Cirque to his feet, you notice the sands
of time start to fade into nothingness.
There is nothing anymore. Just you, your six friends in
the middle of space. Time doesn't exist here.
You could walk for eons and not age.
You could spend as much time as you want together, discussing as
many of your adventures as you like.
But in the middle of it all, you hear a distinct whirring sound
as a blue box fades into existence.
A man steps out, or maybe he's a girl, You don't really know.
He looks a little different every time you look at him, and
he's got Lady Guinevere by the arm and he adjusts his little
scarf and he goes, oh, this is a bit of a pickle here.
I don't think you are supposed to be here, are you?
And you are? Oh, actually, I'm not really
supposed to be much of anywhere. It's a bit of a wibbly wobbly,
tiny, whiny, complicated sort of thing.
I'll tell you what, I bet you would like to wander around this
aimless void for all of eternity if you would so desire, but it
would just burn me up if I didn't put you guys back where
you're supposed to go. Can we keep Penwick?
Well, you know what? I've displaced a lot of random
people in my time. But sure you can.
You can keep them. Augusta is full on poking her
head in the TARDIS, looking outside around the TARDIS,
poking her pet head in the TARDIS.
What the fuck is going on? Oh, let's take it on the inside.
Don't worry about it. If you would all just be kind
enough to step into my oh, what would I call it for you people?
You wouldn't understand a spaceship.
The dragon. In my device.
A dragon. There's a dragon.
Step into my dragon. Yeah, sure.
We'll go with that. Where do you keep the alcohol?
She's looking for the bar. Any martinis?
Oh, sorry, I don't drink. That's fine, don't worry.
So wibbly wobbly is Scottish. Can we, can we maybe stop by Mr.
Bond's place to get Teddy a martini?
I did have a date to get back to Sherlock Holmes.
I don't know if that's on. There you should play it fast
and loose with time rules. I think, I think what we have
learned today is that licentiousness is the the true
virtue. Of time and travel.
If the virtuous are going to name licentiousness as a sin and
then participate in it anyway, the only natural conclusion is
it must be a good thing to do. The best thing?
Truly so he guides the now 7 of you into the date we.
Also picked up Sherlock Holmes. I have a date.
Are there people living on that whale?
What is going on? Why is it falling?
Bizarre. Is that a wardrobe?
And it lands in the middle of Sherwood Forest.
Right after time had originally sent you back.
You find yourself at a familiar campsite and you hear familiar
music playing and merry men jousting and having fun and just
carousing and being their best. And good old Robin Hood smiles
and welcomes your return with open arms.
And live and listen, gentlemen, that be of freeborn blood.
And I shall tell you a tale of a good Yeoman.
His name was Robin Hood. Ye all be proud outlaws while
walking on our grounds. So curtsy and outlaw was ye.
One was never none found. I punched Robin Hood in the face
and asked where the fuck? Were you?
I don't look at, I don't know. Time vanished Did.
You rescue Marian. Oh yeah, she's fine.
No. He points over to her.
Hey. I.
Brought you a martini. Camera Camera carefully pans
just enough so it doesn't pan over the large orgy happening in
the next clearing. Yeah, don't worry about it.
We're not going to worry about it.
You're worrying over here. And that, my friends, is the
tale of when Robin Hood's Merry Men killed the Round Table for
trying to take overtime. Who?
Wants to die first. Should we roll for it?
I think you all should roll for it.
Yeah, OK. We all like roll like 2D6
initiative. Yeah, sure, whatever, fuck it.
Just so we can have an order going.
I got a 5. I got a 5.
I also got a 5. What?
Maybe we should make it 2D6 gang.
It was six of us, yeah. No that.
Was it was 2D? Yeah.
That was a four and a 12. Three.
Yeah, we're supposed to. Prevent this is that there's
bell curve? Should we?
Does it? Does everybody?
I got a 7 because. I do have D20 handy, yeah.
I have all the days. I I really want to leave that in
as kind of our post credit scene like everyone getting.
AI ruled the 10, I don't know what yours.
Problem is I know I ruled the seven.
Grand as fuck. I have bad news for you.
What is A10 but two fives we're. Back in the All right, I'll put.
You in the post credit scene we're.
Back in the fucking building again.