welcome to The game master Monday, the podcast that plays a
new one shot in a new system with a new cast every episode.
I'm your coach Grant, and today we're playing ball game by
Finch, Edmund and my players are.
Is a left fielder because Moon shots not here to catch any
balls. He's here to hit him and I'll be
using the conversationalist playbook.
Hi, I'm Louisa. I usually her pronouns and I'll
be playing Danny Dugnut. Danny uses he him pronouns.
He is the veteran and he is the 5th baseman.
Hi, I'm Mags. They them.
I'm gonna be playing Jackson with an ex Baker number 69
designated hitter and I will be using the Berserker playbook.
Hi I'm Sylvia, I use she her pronouns, I will be playing
Susie Kittenmits who also uses she her pronouns is #63 and I
will be using the Fanatic playbook.
Fantastic. I am excited to play this game
here this week. Continuing the bold tradition of
playing a baseball RPG every year here, a Game Master Monday
ball game is a narrative driven absurdist TTRPG about, well,
baseball. Kind of.
Our players here tonight are currently all on a baseball team
together. The rules of baseball and
frankly, the universe are very bendy and at the whims of our
cast. Here this evening ball game, we
play in two phases. The first are scenes where each
of our players will describe any kind of scene they wish to
pursue. They can involve other
characters and PCs, change the rules, shake up the narrative,
pick flowers, go to space, whatever their heart desires.
Following the completion of a round of scenes, we will play
baseball against another team. Remember, in this world,
baseball has no rules, but there is a way to win.
We will be using a 3D6 to play this game.
Anytime our players do something that requires a role in a scene,
they need a 4A5 or A6 to succeed.
If they have none of those numbers, then they don't.
In the baseball portion of the game, we will also use D sixes,
but we'll get into those mechanics when it's time to,
well, play ball. With all of that out of the way,
are you all excited? So exciting.
Yeah. Let's play ball.
Yeah, that's the spirit. That's the sauce we're looking
for. Marvelous.
Well then, let's get into the game, shall we?
You 4 are currently players for a baseball team called the
Florida Men. We are currently drone flying
over the Florida Man field. I'm imagining it deep in the
heart of the Everglades because why not?
Before we can get too far into what's happening here, what our
time is, and what our goals are, I would like to know a little
bit more about the players. We just met earlier today and
I'm going to go in alphabetical order to answer some character
establishing questions. We'll begin with you, Moon Shot
Mendoza. Now, you mentioned that you play
left field. How long have you been playing?
Well, I've been playing since I was born.
Right up, right out the gate, pretty much.
I've been swinging the old bat. They say I came out and grabbed
that cord and just started swinging, you know, so I've just
been doing that since since the get go.
And why do you play? I play because someone once told
me it wasn't possible to break the speed of light.
But you ain't seen me swing a bat yet.
And one day my bat is going to move faster than light.
I'm going to hit the sun into the next Galaxy.
Just you wait. Now any good team will tell you
that the way you learn to operate as a team is by getting
to know your fellow players. So I'm going to ask you 3
questions, Moon Shot, and you can ask these questions that any
of your fellow teammates here at the table.
I'm going to have to call up Susie to the plate.
Susie Kitten Mitts. What do you think that do I talk
too much? Oh no, I don't think you talk
too much. I quite like the sound of your
voice, so it's all good for me. I appreciate that.
Thank you so much, Jackson.
Jackson, what is it that I said that made you, you know, want me
around? You told me take that ball, hit
it right into the fucking bleachers and make sure that
shit hits the next coming man who tries to take my ball away
from me, Sir. And it's an honor to be on the
same team as you. Thank you so much.
I've said that to everyone I've played baseball with, so I'm
glad it's stuck with you. Danny Dugnut.
Now I know something's wrong and you've been avoiding me.
How come you don't talk to me no more, Danny?
You try to make nice with everyone and I get it.
I get it. You're a you're a good person,
but you're fraternizing with rats and those are our enemies.
You've been you've been chatting them up.
I've seen you in the dugout. You're making little jokes.
But on the field I need to know you can bring it.
Well, the problem is, Danny, that I learned that rats move
faster than Florida men, so it's a little appealing to me.
I hope you can understand that. That'll bring me over to you,
Danny. Now, we typically start by
asking what position do you play?
But you're the 5th baseman in this particular league.
How long have you been playing that position?
Well, you know, fifth base wasn't always what I played.
I've been in the league a long, long time.
You know, I used to, I used to be a catcher.
But, you know, I've gotten shuffled around a bunch.
You know, not a lot of kids learn fifth base growing up.
It's not exactly a glamorous position, and they've kind of
stuck me here in recent years. But I make the most of it.
I make the most of it. I do a good job.
I do good work. And why do you play?
I mean, why is the sunrise? You know, it's just like it's
baseball, you got it. So it's a great game.
It's a, you know, I got a contract.
Of course, you know, I got to play.
And I don't know, I'm less, I'm less romantic about it than some
of these folks. It's what I'm good at.
It's a good time. It pays the bills.
You know, Jackson, how badly do you want me to retire?
I want that goddamn salary cap to go down so goddamn bad so I
can get my third truck so fucking bad.
I mean, just just, you know, you'll get there someday.
Susie, what have I taught you? The major lesson that I have
learned from the Danny Oh gosh, I would say that's to always
sign the little slips of paper when you're asked for an
autograph. No matter who asks, whether
they're big or small or or young or old, it does not matter.
You always sign it because it's the fans that are the center of
the game. Damn right.
And Moon shot Mendoza. You jealous of my experience?
I'm jealous of that damn swing of yours.
Yeah, of course. It's so consistent and fast.
I've been chasing that speed and that power for a long time, you
know that. They say I'm going to swing the
bat no matter what, and your swing is so pretty and accurate
and of course I'm jealous of it. Well, thanks.
Jackson Baker #69V Berserker, the designated hitter.
Tell me, how long have you been playing?
Well, ever since I could hold a bat in these two hands, I've
been swinging for my life. My older brother Jackson with an
S has been playing baseball. My older brother Jackson with AK
taught me how to hit a bat. He's been pitching for as long
as I can remember. My older brother Mason has been
catching for almost as I can remember.
I only left one person to be hitting them balls and that was
me. And why do you play Jackson?
Because I failed out of real estate school.
Happy reverse athlete track. Now, Miss Susie, when did you
most recently patch me up? I think it was after the 7th pre
season game when you try to fight a bear that was on the
opposite team. He really had to come to him,
didn't he? Sure did.
Now Moon Shot, I know we have a good well established
relationship in my short history here in the majors.
What is your biggest problem with me?
I wish you would, as vehemently as you swing that bat at other
people, swing it at the ball because imagine the damage you
could do. Hitting them dingers, Sir.
Try my best Danny. I know we have tumultuous
relationship here on the team, but what do I make you feel?
You make me feel old. You got so much energy out
there, you know, You're always giving it your all, starting
fights, getting. It reminds me of how I used to
be a little bit. But I don't really have the
fight in me as much as I once did.
And I hate that you do, but I respect it.
Susie Kitten Mitts, our fanatic What position do you play?
Yes, I actually am not on the field very often as I am the
third backup pitcher. OK.
And how long have you been playing?
12345678. Ten months and why do you play?
Oh, because it just the coolest people are here.
Like they just do so much awesome stuff and they do so
much good for our entire world. And, and they're just, they're
just such role models. I I just, I just want to be like
them. Jackson, how did you help me
when I first joined the team? I think I helped Mella you out a
little bit. You got a little too weird with
some of the guys in the locker room, but I used you into it.
I got you were there. I got you in a better
relationship with some of these people.
You're still a little freaky about it, but it's endearing.
Locker room etiquette Mr. Moon Shot was IA fan of yours before
joining the team? I think most definitely,
especially as my name indicates, I haven't hit above 200 in
several years. But every time I do hit the
ball, it's a moon shot. I'll never get above that
Mendoza line, but every time I hit the ball, it's gone.
Danny, why don't you like me? I feel like you're more of a fan
than you are a player. I feel like you're, you know,
you're in, in this, you make more sense to me cheering in the
stands than you do on the field that we, I feel like, you know,
we don't see much of you. You're the third backup pitcher.
You don't really contribute much.
I mean, it's just, I don't, I wouldn't say I feel too much
animosity towards it. You just don't make sense to me,
kid. I don't get it.
And so we have met our characters and we've established
your relationships with each other.
The way ball game will function is first, each of you are going
to get the chance to go over your own individual scene.
This can be something that is important to your character that
you want to pursue. It can be a montage, or it can
be something called an event. If you just can't think of
anything and you'd rather leave it up to chance, you can ask to
do an event instead. When I will ask you to roll 1D6
and whatever happens, happens. Now, the order for the first
scene of the game is determined by who saw a baseball game most
recently and before recording, we determined that was you,
Mags. So we're going to start off with
a scene headed by our very own Jackson Baker.
So I feel like you see Jackson with an ex Baker.
He is a towering 64. He's burly as all hell with a
very close like shaved to the head, always wearing the
tightest pair of pit Vipers that he can put on his face.
He is just gearing up in the locker room and I think he's
trying his darn best to get Susie a little bit more adjusted
into possibly going into and pitching for a game today.
If anyone like might be injured and just like trying to calm
those nerves in her now when they call you up from the
bullpen, you got it. Just keep calm and only think
about how fast the ball is going and however many signals the pit
the catcher is trying to give you all right.
OK, so no blowing kisses to the crowd.
Do not blow kisses to the crowd. OK all.
Right I gotta just think for a moment mate.
I mean, maybe mean mug them, but like don't, don't try to blow
kisses to anyone, especially not the batter.
We don't like him. We're trying to get him out.
Yeah, but wouldn't blow him kisses, throw him off his game.
I. Mean, when you put it that way,
you probably would. So damn, I never thought about
blowing kisses to the fuck, God fucking damn it.
You know what? Maybe just go with it, all
right? It might just work.
OK, not to the crowd, but to the batter, yeah.
To the batter, yes. Jackson, would you say in this
moment you're letting your emotions take over or are you
trying to calm down? Jackson's definitely letting his
emotions take over. Wonderful.
You can always let your emotions take over for you.
See, in ball game on your Berserker playbooks, there are
some things you can always do which you don't have to roll
for, things you can sometimes do which you must roll for, and
some things you can never do which you don't have to roll
for, but you can try to do them without a consequence.
But in this case, so that in your emotions take over, you can
always do that. You don't even have to roll to
it. What does that look like when
you're just going through this kissing scheme with with with
Susie? Jackson's getting really hot and
flustered, like he's getting very red in the face.
Like this man only knows one emotion and that are two
emotion. That's frustration and anger,
and he needs to blow off steam and take his aggression out on
some baseballs. I think Jackson goes out to the
practice field and tries to get whoever's in charge of like team
practices and stuff to load up like whatever, like automatic
pitcher to just go on the highest fucking setting they
could possibly put it at and let it RIP, you see?
A person who's loading things up into your automatic picture that
this person kind of has like a steam stack coming out of his
head and like is literally blowing off steam while you're
blowing off steam and you're just drilling baseballs over and
over again. Looking at your playbook, I see
you can also always hit something.
Faster, son, these balls aren't going fast enough.
I don't know if I can go any faster.
The steam is like kind of at this setting.
We'll see what you can fucking do about it.
Hey, roll 3D6 for me. Absolutely.
So I got a two and a three, but I did get 1/4.
A4 is all you need to succeed, so that is a success.
When you succeed in ball game, you ask someone else this to
describe the success. I think I'd like Danny Doug nuts
to describe the successes. I would like to see what he's
seeing. I think the success is actually
that Danny does enter this scene and moves the equipment manager
aside. It's like, buddy, you don't get
it, you don't get it and just starts loading up this, this
machine extremely fast with this like weird level of practice
that you're like, why have you done this?
And he is now loading this at a speed that is adequate to
Jackson, who has really hidden those dingers, who is who is
popping off here. I think the poor equipment
manager is very flustered by this intervention.
He's just a poor goddamned intern.
We have to give him a little grace, but not Jackson.
Sorry bud, just you just got to do it this way, you know, like
this. I'll, I'll probably never be as
good as you are at it, Mr. Ducknut.
I'm kind of new. Years of experience.
You'll get here. You'll get here.
You want me to sign anything? I'll sign something.
Sorry kid. It's all right.
Will you sign my hot dog? Yeah, why not in ketchup or
marker? Marker I've.
Never had that. Makes sense?
Well, I don't recommend it, but you're welcome to try.
You sign it and he eats it all in one bite and you never see
him again. Oh darn.
We're going to move to the right.
Now imagine we're at a table and there's like a right chair next
to you and and Sylvia sitting in it.
Susie, where are we when we see your scene and what do we see
when we see Susie? It is the middle of the night.
Everyone else has gone home. The stadium is dark except 1
little light in the pitcher's cage and there you see Susie who
looks like a perfectly average femme presenting person with a
Flamingo beak and some Flamingo floppers for feet.
And Susie winds up and throws a pitch and the the little speed
reader in the pitching cage reads 91 mph and Susie just
shakes her head. It wasn't good enough.
And she picks another ball up from the basket of of the
baseballs at her flopper feet and throws again and again and
again and the all in these sounds that you hear are sighs
from Susie and the baseballs hitting the cage.
You're going to get there, kid. I can see it.
But I got to tell you, and I hope you don't take this as a
mean or anything like that, but you're a little too square.
And when you look over at the triangular shape of Moon Shot,
Moon Shot wears like size 1 shoes, kids pants, but 2
baseball jerseys stitched together because he's literally
a triangle in shape. I got to tell you, if you want
to get that throw a little faster, you got to just get on
the moon shot. Man, that was a workout plan.
It's it's all upper body and nothing else.
Now it will be a world of pain and it's going to be hell when
you retire. But if you want to get that
throw faster, you got to get on this workout plan I got, I'm
telling you. Oh yeah.
I mean, anything you say, Mr. Moon Shot I I think that sounds
like a great idea. Should should we start now or
we? Should I was just I was just
prepping the float tank actually, because you, you
actually don't want to engage your legs at all in this
workout. So your legs just float in the
salt water and then we do the weights while your legs are
while your legs are floating. OK, Nope.
You know what? I'm on board.
Let's do this. I'm ready.
Wait, I don't have a swimsuit. Wait, it's OK.
I have a spare batting suit. I mean uniform, whatever this
is. That's the spirit, that's the
names don't really matter. It's just how triangular can you
get is really what you want to focus on.
Yeah, get on in here in this hot tub or actually, it's really
cold, actually, so that you'll float.
But and then I'll load up the weights and I don't want you to
think what your Max is like. We can make anything happen.
We're professional athletes, right?
Yeah, yeah, that's right. I'm a professional athlete now.
This is great. I'm just going to load these
weights up for Susie and let them float in the salt water and
try and get them to get them to bulk hell.
Yeah, Susie wrote 3D6 to see if you can bulk up.
This is a first thank you Game Master Monday.
Hey I got a 5. Let's go.
And of course you are able to ask a member of the table.
What does this success look like for Susie?
Who would you like to ask? You know, I think Danny would be
here, but Danny was just like checking up on stuff, you know,
making sure things are good. I think Danny's witnesses this.
Susie, I think, you know, enters this pool, has these weights and
just find some some real inner strength that becomes outer
strength, you know, is pushing it to her limits.
I think, you know, being in this hot tub like you're, you're
really doing it. You're all, you're a
professional athlete now and you're, you're getting your,
your reps in that like weirdly way more than you thought you
could. It's, it's really incredible.
And you feel a little more triangular.
This, the triangular thing, that's kind of where it's at,
you know, being like more rectangle shape is really a drag
on life. That's right, that's right.
Who needs to fit in a regular sized roller coaster cart?
Not us. No, we're here to play ball, not
roller coaster. That's.
Right. We will go to the right now Moon
shot Mendoza. We have been gifted at the sight
of a large triangular man. Where do we find him when we
begin your scene? We actually find Moon shot
outside of the stadium in like as much as he can like
disguising his figures so that fans won't come up and see him.
And he's, he's asking, he's asked Jackson to come along on
on a field trip. Which of my trucks do you want
to go in? The red one or the silver one?
Which one? Trying to get a blue one.
Well, when we win the ship this year, you know, we'll, we'll get
you that blue one for sure. But listen, we're, we're in
Florida, right? That's where our team is now.
And one thing I know about Florida is that they got
rockets. And what goes faster than my
baseball bat is my baseball bat with rockets on it.
So which truck do you think could get us into where the
Rockets are? The red one.
All right, red what it is I'm going to try and talk us into a
rocket store. I don't know where they these
things are, but I typed it into this app here and I think we can
just kind of get over to where the Rockets are and secure one
for my little experiment I. Would love to help you in this
experiment Sir. Thank you so much.
We can share that too, if you know you're not going to break
it. Not this one, all right.
Not again. Well, since you can always think
out loud, you have done so successfully and you are looking
to con or charm your way into some rockets.
Let's say you managed to locate where they would be.
Where do we find ourselves and who are you talking to?
Probably the first like guard at any outside perimeter for like
the equivalent of NASA because I we would drive along the coast
until we saw rocket ships and try and go there.
OK, so you you you find the equivalent of a NASA guard who
just kind of standing in front of some rockets.
Hello, good evening. We're here on behalf of a very
important mission. OK, those are my favorite kind.
Are you, Sir, a baseball fan? Am IA baseball fan and does the
moon have craters on it? Is it made of cheese?
You know what, both are true, so I'm going to take that as a yes.
You may recognize I'll take off a little cardigan which was not
covering up moon shots form at all.
Oh my God, Moon shot Mendoza. Hello, it's nice to see you.
Hardly recognize you with the cardigan.
Now listen, you may also recognize Jackson Baker here on
my. Right.
Oh my God. Jackson's beautiful truck.
Jackson's truck. Oh my God, the truck.
It's real. Jackson, your truck is uniquely
equipped for our mission. Yes, it could handle what we're
trying to to haul out of here. It's got a big enough 8 foot
bed. I think we're good.
I'm going to play it straight with you.
I need a rocket and I can get you into a game, some
nosebleeds, something like that, a hot dog in there or two if
you'll just turn to turn a blind eye real quick and let us haul
one out of here, one that they're not using anymore or
something like that. Because you know.
If you'll allow me to editorialize a bit, while you
can always charm someone, you can sometimes convince someone
of something that isn't true. I've no fuel the hot dogs.
You're right. So this is about 3D6 for me to
see if a rocket is in your future.
Oh, a four is good, right? 4 is good, 4 succeeds.
A 1-2 and four. Who would you like to ask to
describe your success? Susie, we're pulling up with a
rocket. Yeah, so Mr. Mr. Moon was was
befriending the security guard, and then the security guard
opened up the big gate in the back and Jackson backed up the
truck and they just plopped the rocket right on top.
And then they drove away into the sunrise question mark.
So you know how at baseball games they often will cut to
video footage of all the players strutting and posing and making
like dramatic faces? I think we all as a team have
been tasked with re recording our videos where we're strutting
and posing. But they've given us new
jerseys. They're, they're like, we're
we're trying out some new styles like a, a city connect sort of
thing. And we're all trying to figure
out why we've been given Plaid sweaters as jerseys.
That's that's what's going down here.
This feels like a warm choice for Florida.
But you know, I got A and Danny turns to like one of the little
cameraman and does like a dramatic arms crossed pose.
Also to describe Danny briefly. Regular dad bod baseball player
but he's blue. Naturally.
And he's really, really trying to rock this weird sweater that
he's been given. The, the camera people are all
also wearing the sweaters and they're like, I don't know, they
gave us a box. It was full of sweaters.
It said jerseys on it and they told us to take the pictures in
the jerseys. So here we are, Danny.
You do what you got to do. I get it.
Sweating already.
OK. All right.
Can you can you dim those lights?
No, it's a. It's fine.
They like look directly into the camera light, like full face
into the light and then turn back with like smaller pupils
and they I don't think so. OK, rest of y'all, you you, you
feel good in these sweaters. Oh, itchy.
Jackson flexes ever so slightly, and just one of the sleeves on
the sweater just rips clean off. I'm not, I'm not a big fan of
these. I don't think I'm going to get a
good range on hitting the ball and that's what I'm getting paid
to do. It's fair.
I do wish it was the kind of sweater that cinches at the
bottom so it would fit my form a little better.
Right now it just really ill defined, you know?
I wish it. Was like a belt maybe?
Yeah, yeah. But I don't really doesn't
really bother me. It's not going to stop me from
swinging a bat, so. Fair enough, fair enough.
Susie, you enjoying your sweater?
Yeah. Was it just sweaters in the box
or are we supposed to have like pants and like boots and gloves
and helmets and stuff? Oh yeah, I guess I would explain
why you all dressed like this here today.
Yeah, no, we only have the sweater box.
I mean, that's, that's the new uniform.
Yeah, I guess it's, I guess it's what you know, what kind of fan
service is this? You would know better than I
would you are. Isn't that kind of your deal
being a fan of the? Team I am a professional
athlete, probably most likely. Because it is these
photographers who are placing us.
And when, you know, they've been chatting up.
I'm an old stand by the team. They've got me front and center.
Jackson just, you know, of course, ripped off the the
sleeve. So he's he's great to have also
like up in the front near me. Mendoza, kind of an interesting,
you know, architectural just to position on the other side
there. And then I think because they're
a little confused by Susie's presence.
Susie's kind of ducked a little bit behind poor, poor Susie, a
little little back behind these the cameras.
But we're doing dramatic, like holding bats, crossing arms,
staring at camera. Yeah.
The photos are taken and we have some fantastic new entries for
the Megatron. The Megatron, that's a trans.
Jumbotron. Jumbotron Yeah, we have some
fantastic new entries for the Jumbotron.
Ours is called the Megatron though.
It is actually Megatron just holding up the screen.
We did it, recaptured him. Anyway, what would that that'll
bring us to the ball game. So we're going to shift into
baseball mode here. The baseball games are very
similar to scenes. You'll find that while not a
single person will have complete narrative control, you will all
dictate the look and feel of the game.
Feel free to get into character, feel free to describe everything
you're doing, and when you think you have sufficiently explained
this baseball game, we'll roll to see if you win it.
So first thing is first here. Let's decide who your opponent
is and given earlier illusions, if you'll allow me, I would like
to say you are beginning the the road to the playoffs.
Every game matters from this point forward, and you are first
facing the New York Rats. Fuck those guys.
And at which team's stadium? So you may now decide if you
want to play at the Rat Stadium or at the men's stadium.
Let's do this one at the Rat Stadium, if you don't mind.
I would love to all in favor stadium.
Bring the game to the sewers. Yeah, describe the New York Rat
Stadium for me. Everyone just threw a detail
about it in there. Underground of.
Course it's. Definitely remnant of his
fucking sewer. They're the rats.
It just makes too much sense. Black lights.
I can really see the details in the seats.
Gross. Yes.
They sell a lot of pizza, but instead of pepperonis, it's hot
dogs chopped up on the top. It's their signature dish in the
stadium. Am I around?
Why? Does that actually sound good
though? Does that actually?
Sound delicious? It feels like an actual stadium
food that should exist. I don't know if it does, but
that's an. American Stadium food for sure
the. Pioneers provided by CC.
That sure exists. This is a good place to talk
about also your your team's playbook.
You are part of the Florida Men, so you get a special little
condition for being a special little guy.
Your team move is once per session, so at any point during
this recording, each player can perform the following action.
You thrive in chaos. Once per session during a game,
you may add the results of your 3D6 roles together and consult
the chaos table to see what happens in addition to
succeeding or failing. So that's a thing you can do at
any point. Pull all your dice together and
see what fucking happens. Well, Moon Shot is going to test
out his new bat and his first at bat.
He has figured out a way to attach a rocket thruster.
He walks to the plate, a 15 foot long bat takes his stance and
it's going to it's going to ignite, he's going to turn on
the ignition as he swings the bat and just just see what
happens. Well, let's see, that will
definitely be a 3D6 roll for you.
Yes Moon shot to see if that succeeds at some point during
this game. I'm.
Going to go ahead and activate the, I mean fuck it chaos, I'm
going to activate the whole thing.
OK, hell. Yeah.
I got a six total 3 twos. Do you fail your swing it you're
just you're kind of completely strike out here.
But as you do so, it begins to storm inside the sewer, clouds
start to form and it begins raining tadpoles.
Yep, OK. I think the rocket that is just
a little too strong. I haven't tested it yet.
So it it lifts me up out of the batter's box and sends me like
over the ball and into the infield.
And I think one of my my angles, one of my corners sticks into
the ground and like hits a hits a pipe underground and which
causes this sewage storm, tadpole storm to start
happening. And yeah, I think moon shots
just like stuck in the ground like a looks like a standing up
tortilla chip as one of his corners is just stuck in the
ground. Do you hear an announcer over
the microphone? Well, not the best.
Day we've seen for Moon. Shot Mendoza.
But when you got an arm like that, it's the moon or bus, am I
right? You're damn right I'll shout
out. Just muffled in the dirt.
I think pitching for the rats today is Peg Winnie.
She used to be one of the Florida men and she is a horse.
And how does a horse pitch? How the horse wear pants?
These are questions we can never answer.
But Winnie is pitching and we've got, you know, old history there
used to be on the men got traded, lot of trade to a rival.
It's rough stuff. And Danny steps up to the plate
and looks Winnie did in the eye and says bring it on Winnie and
tries tries to swing. Winnie says.
I knew you would say that Winnie.
Same old. OK, that is 8 total, but one has
a 5 so. So 5-6 seeds.
I think Jackson sees Danny Dug Nut launch an absolute fucking
piss missile right above the head of fucking Winnie and
straight into the crowd of that God damn super stadium.
Takes out a few lights, fucking causes sparks that go
everywhere. Might be a fire hazard, we don't
know. All in all, beautiful 10 out of
10. There's a coach who comes out to
the pitching mound and this kind of like grabs her reins and
tries to escort her into the the the bullpen keeps pointing at a
through of water to help her calm down.
She just not going towards it at all.
This refuses to drink. Susie showed up to the game with
like a big cardboard box that was branded with one of our
sponsors, Spiky's, and in, in, in the dugout.
Susie like after the game I started we're we're on like the
third inning and Susie starts going around passing out what's
in this box and and what is in this box, dear audience, let me
tell you, they are cleats, but they are the kind of light up
sneaker kind of cleats. So every time the cleat takes an
impact, it lights up. There's nothing in the rule book
that says you can't have light up cleats.
So Susie starts passing them out because we are in the sewers
underground in black light conditions and these are
highlights distracting. And that's what Susie is trying
to do with the intention of getting the team to distract the
other team so that they can win better, faster and more
triangle. And I am an acting chaos.
Let's go here. An acting chaos burning through
this team move. Roll 3D6 and tell me what
collective number you get. That's the team.
Sure is. Thank you so well.
Describe your success and on the chaos table for a 15.
A fancy journalist is covering this game.
They are rooting for the opposing team and will not write
kindly about your team unless you win them over.
OK. Would I describe my success, or
would somebody else describe the success?
Someone will describe your success, but you can still do
what you want with that journalist now that you know
they exist. A.
Reporter from the New York Crimes.
Oh gosh.
You know, that's how those New York journalists can be.
Susie has an extra pair of these light Up Cleats Special Edition
from Spikes. You can get 10% off using the
code Florida Men and Susie will assign them in a white Sharpie
so that I'm sorry, no branding a white permanent marker and will
kind of strut out along the side of the field up to the
journalist section and be like, hey, hey, hey, you, you new
newer crimes journalist here. I, I got this for you.
I just, it's a little token. It's a little token from us to
you. The reporter is, you know,
receiving a gift from a player. And even if it's a player on a
team you don't root for, you're getting a you're getting
attention from a star. I mean, that's direct.
You know, that's who wouldn't be won over from that.
And, you know, Danny did see, tell Susie about, you know,
making sure you contact every fan.
You make him feel special. And Susie is learning and
putting that, putting that to work.
And I think the New York Crimes reporter is just kind of kind of
flustered by this attention. And it's a suddenly not sure
what team to root for. An experience I have, of course,
had in my real life. You never know, You sometimes
you get flustered and change what team you're rooting for.
You know, I was sitting here writing an article about how
your team doesn't seem to wear in pants or shoes, which is very
unorthodox. But now that I have these signed
shoes, I can see that you do truly care about the game.
I still don't care much for Florida.
I will spike, I will write shit about Florida in this article.
But you you could go places. Well, thanks their journalist.
You ever think about playing from New York?
How golly. I mean, I guess you never know
what will happen next season. All right, next season it is
kind of writes down in his journal.
Like, who knows? We're gonna have a next season.
We could all die tomorrow. As a New Yorker, I gotta say,
that's a real New Yorker. Yeah, yeah, that's a real.
Bad. As a real New Yorker, I think
Jackson is having a rare like dry spell for a game.
And anytime he gets up to the plate, he just visibly looks
more and more upset. And you can tell by the way he's
walking and those light up cleats, just like half of the
lights are blown out at this point.
And he's just so visibly mad. He's getting back to the dugout
and he says he like takes his one bat and just snaps it right
over his thigh and just throws it on the ground at the dugout.
You can always get angry. You can always let your emotions
take over. You're doing this in the dugout
around people. Would you say you're trying to
calm down, or would you like to make someone else angry?
I I'd like to make someone else angry.
OK, you know 3D6. I think like in this moment,
like he's so like fed up and he's just, he's letting his
emotions get the best of him and he's now heckling the pitcher
and trying to get him mad so he pitches worse.
OK. That's two sixes and a four.
I had a unique perspective on this situation.
Upside down, right between second and third base.
I could see that Jackson was struggling.
Not as usual self, just a real regular guy at the plate most
often, but this time just frustration settling.
Then I've seen it before, the splinters of his bat from the
dugout. One of them hit me in the eye,
but I could tell the pitcher was mad.
Most mad. Like someone just took the
attention away from this pitcher getting a real good strike out.
And this pitcher just threw the biggest tantrum.
Glove on the ground, hat on the ground, crying tadpoles falling
into their hat. Then they got more upset from
the tadpoles. Just a real world class tantrum.
I think it really gave us an advantage there in the late
innings. I would like to remind everyone
the pitcher is a horse, so please picture that with a
horse. That's right.
We snore. The the pitcher coach had to
come out and give him some sugar cubes to calm him down, but at
that point the damage had been done.
You just see someone like in the standard, this fucking horse.
We need a. Pitcher, not a.
Horse. Gets escorted by the security
guards and you can't say shit like that.
Come on, they're doing their best.
Come on, we don't accept that. All right, game.
The time has come to see if you win this ball game.
I'm going to have each of you pull out your little D sixes
here for me. So everyone will roll 1D6.
If your total exceeds 8, you win.
If it doesn't, you lose, or if losing is a too unbearable for
you, you can choose to trigger extra innings, but we'll see
what happens. 3 for Kenny. Also a three.
That is well over 8 and seeing everyone's fingers here.
You'll just have to trust me. Audience I can count.
First, they've got a flustered horse and that doesn't help
them. Absolutely.
Now we get we, we spend an in between innings, we get Mendoza
back up and add it right side up, flipped back over and you
know, it's, it's funny. We're doing we're doing pretty
well. We're doing all right.
You know, I, I had that that strong hit at the beginning took
us through. They didn't really catch up as
much. And towards the end of the game
we're feeling so all right that we'd like to give our pitcher a
rest in the last inning. We, of course, bring in our
third backup pitcher and closing out the game for us.
Susie does a great job. It's all strikeouts and it's a
it's a beautiful thing to see. And that reporter in the stands,
you know, watching, taking, taking a note and you know, it's
a sewer. It's not a not a beautiful
stadium. And of course, it was raining.
Tadpoles and frogs is not the best weather, but it's still a
lovely day and a beautiful game. A beautiful day for baseball,
Frogs excluded. You defeat the New York rats.
Congratulations, you've won your first ball game.
Another step closer to that World Series you long for so
dearly. So bring us back to the scenes
phase of the game Mag started us off.
So this time we're going to start with Sylvia's character as
we return from this game. In between the game, the next
one even more important than the last.
Where do we find you? Susie is overly confident now.
We got some strikeouts, we got to play, we befriended A
reporter, we got told that we should play for a different
team, and that's just quite the honor.
And so Susie goes out for an adventure on the town, throws
back a couple of squiggly, swirly drinks, and then heads to
the tattoo shop to get a tattoo of a rat.
Now, you did trigger a phrase here from your playbook because
you see, the fanatic can never get overly confident in their
abilities without consequences. Describe your failure for me.
Susie gets this elaborate rat tattoo on the left bicep.
It looks great. It looks awesome.
Susie's checking out heads out of the tattoo parlor is showing
off the tattoo to everyone at the bus stop because we don't
drive after speaking, swirly drinks.
So heads to the bus stop is showing everybody the sweet
tattoo that she just got. And they're all New York Rats
fans on vacation here in. Florida, the other most New York
thing I can think of. Again, accurate stuff.
I've I've been to Florida quite a bit.
And the the rats, the, well, the rat fans, you know, first
they're like, yeah, that's a really cool rat tattoo.
And Susie's like, yeah, I'm Susie K admits I won the game,
blah, blah, blah. And then the fans just start
looking at each other. And then they start pushing
Susie around and push her down into a puddle because of course
it's raining in Florida on the one time New Yorkers come to
vacation there. And and Susie gets so gig wet
and Lance awkwardly on her wrist and will not be able to pitch in
the next game. Tragedy has struck the Florida
men as their third backup pitcher goes down to the
pitching injury. Teams washed, season's over.
Fucking bozos. An article written in the
Florida newspapers all say right when we thought we found our
closer scooting to the right moon shot Mendoza, where do we
find you? You find Moon shot in the
equipment room of the Florida men kind of, you know, badgering
some of the equipment managers and people like that who who
work behind the scenes looking for some materials.
Now, I attached this rocket to my bat last week and you know,
it's fast, but I need something a little stronger.
I need to coat my bat with something material that's
stronger. I'm sorry to interrupt your work
here, but I really need you to help me with this new project of
making my bat be able to handle just the the hottest pitch that
all the heat it can handle. Can you help me make my bat
stronger? Yeah, I think we can manage
something like that. And you're you're still sold in
the Rockets thing. You want us to keep that as part
of the whole shebang? Well, of course, that's that's
the whole idea. Yeah.
And I'm afraid what you heard was that I want a bat that's a
little bit stronger. I want the strongest material
that you can muster. I don't care what you got to
smelt down or whatever, I need the strongest that like, let's
say I was going to hit the sun with my baseball bat, it should
be alive afterwards. OK, we will see what we can come
up with. Mr. Mendoza, we legally have to
do anything you ask us to do with the equipment.
I'm commanding your attention right now.
I understand that, but. Rule 3D6 for me.
Perfect. Got my playbook open now, A1A1
and A6. Well, there's one thing that we
all know. It's indestructible.
It's everywhere. It's impossible to avoid.
That's right, this bat has been coated in microplastics.
It's indestructible. They're everywhere.
It's just a very weird little light plastic bat.
You wouldn't think so, but they're powerful.
They do so much to all of us. And this, this equipment team,
they figured it out. They they, they work together.
They put this, this little, it looks kind of like a dinky
little toy bat, but you, you swing that thing and it is it's
a you think that if you were listen to the sound, it would be
OK. What do you think of Danny?
Well, you ever seen anything quite like this?
I got to say this is a first in all my years, but I'm excited to
to see what it does. This is the one that's going to
help me achieve my ultimate mission.
Just you wait. You're going to shoot the moon.
Well, the sun, but yeah. I guess that's landing among the
stars. Sure.
Absolutely. So bring us to you, Danny, where
do we find you for your scene? So I think we're we're in the
locker room getting ready for practice game, you know, we're
taking off our pants and putting on our sweaters.
And I think in this process, I think I see Susie's new rat
tattoo. Now, Susie, I'm not, I'm not mad
about the injury. These things happen.
Why the heck you got a rat tat? Isn't that a thing that when
when you when you beat the other team that that you tattooed
their mascot on on yourself? No, it's not a thing.
I look, kid. All right, let me let me just
spend some wisdom for you. OK.
I've been on a lot of teams in my day, but I don't have any.
I don't have any tats on me for for the teams I've got other
tats don't look at my tramp stamp, it's fine.
But I've been on a lot of teams and whatever team you're on,
that's the team you're on. And the rats are our rivals
right now. Does it make sense to put a rat
on your body? No.
And what if you get what if you get traded and he had a Florida
Man logo, got a little, got a little guy, just men, you know,
we're men. What what would you do then in
the in the locker room when they're taking off their pants
and putting on their sweaters? What are they?
What are they going to say? Oh, I see the rat.
They're going to think you're a rat.
And you're not a rat. You're not a scumbag like that.
You're a, you're a man. A man, plural.
Am IA man. Do you really think so, Danny?
I think you're a man for. Well, yeah.
You did great. That last game, you helped us
trounce the rats, and that's what matters.
I think as soon as you, you know, to be a man, you got to
beat a rat. Yeah, I've always said this.
Danny wrote 3D stakes for me. There is a 5 in there.
Knowing that Danny believes that Susie is real men really changes
Susie's outlook on the whole ball game.
Susie quickly makes an appointment at the same tattoo
shop to get a large red X tattooed over the rat tattoo
that Susie had just gotten. Susie will have to wait about 8
weeks for the tattoo to finish healing in order to tattoo over
top of the tattoo. But the appointment is booked
and is in the works. And even though Susie can't
officially play today, it's a good day.
Finally, we go to Jackson. Jackson, where do we find
yourself? And your scene begins.
Great, I'd like to have some fun.
I'd like to roll the D6 and trigger an event.
Let's. All the way go my dude.
Yes, roll your D6 and we will trigger one of the events. #2
There's no crying in baseball. Morale is low, the last few
games have just been so dull, viewership is down, and frankly
the player characters are bored to tears.
To boost attitudes, you decide to have a movie night with your
fellow PCs as a group. Decide the genre and title of
the movie you're seeing, then discuss the movie your group
saw. Build the movie as you discuss
it, quote it, and analyze it in character.
You know, there's so many of these air bud movies I thought
they would just get so old and they just run out of content.
But that dog is 1 hell of a picture.
Better than any horse I ever saw, that's for sure.
Yeah, certainly. It's certainly better than a
Lebron's pivot from basketball to baseball.
It's really, it's really excellent stuff.
I never saw it coming that, you know, when this dog was able to
get the opposable thumbs from the, the, the shaman, the swamp
shaman, that real twist in the movie that I mean, just really
spoke to me about, you know, the level of commitment we give to
our sport. Some people do really have the
ability to give it all or give nothing.
And God damn I'm going to keep giving it my all.
Move me to tears. You know, I think I finally
understand the whole sweater thing that was going on.
I didn't realize it was a reference to this incredible
movie where they they give the dog a sweater the third act
because he was caught in the rain and cold.
It's really a beautiful moment. And you know, it's a Florida
rain. You know this from the swamp
witch and it's really it's good Florida heritage stuff.
I didn't know, I hadn't seen it. My favorite is the triangle
coach really truly believes in what in what it's all about and
and really convinced that dog to switch from basketball to
baseball. That was really that was really
inspiring. Nah, I thought he was kind of a
square. It's weird.
I don't, I don't remember that part.
I must have. I must have dozed off or
something. I missed it, man.
Just what I've been complaining about representation.
I've I've missed the one little little bit I could have gotten
here, but I'll have to go back and watch it again.
But yeah, Air bud unleashed 6 for me. 3 stars.
At how many? Well, it's just something I
heard people say before. I don't spend a lot of time
sitting and watching movies. In fact, the whole time we were
watching the movie, I was just practicing my swing back here.
It's probably why I missed that part.
You guys just turn and you see Jackson sitting cross armed, but
through the very tight pit, Vipers on his face, just like
tiny tears start like going down his cheek and he just turns
around and just absolutely punches the closest wall next to
him. I just, I just really love that
fucking dog, OK? Well, it's it's OK, Jackson.
We can watch Air Buddies. Can't watch air buddies.
I love these fucking puppies so God damn much.
I feel so much more bonded as a team and all of our other
teammates that are here too. I'm sure they feel the same way.
But you 3 in particular. I'm sure none of us will ever
betray this team and join another one right?
Not after this experience. I'm certain there's going to be
no trade deadlines coming up anytime soon and no one's
contracts are up for negotiation.
Yeah, they can't break up the flighter men.
Popcorn anyone? And that's going to bring us to
your next game on the road to hopefully bringing home the big
one for this game. If you'll indulge me, I'm going
to have you face the Cleveland Crushers.
Then you may choose if you would like to play in Florida or
Cleveland. Let's play a home game.
Yeah, why would we want to play in Cleveland?
I want to see these fans go fucking nuts.
There have been some boring games recently.
Some you've won, some you've lost.
So let's see if we can break the monotony up as we come to the
Florida Men Stadium. What is Florida men's field
like, folks? Yes.
Well, of course the Jumbotron is held up by Megatron.
Megatron. It's like a.
Replica. It's very important that
Megatron is there. Yes.
I'm certain that the outfield is mostly swamp at this point.
Or or there's like 1. There's one random patch every
game of the swampy outfield where there is actually a
crocodile. Like there is a live crocodile
in the field, but it changes every game.
Like where are the patches? And they put they randomized the
jerseys that the crocodile wears depending on and then that
counts what team he's on. For that game I didn't even
picture it in the jersey, but that's so.
Good or cardigan? I'm sorry, Cardigan or jerseys?
Yeah. Sometimes the sweater and
sometimes he plays for the other team.
Yeah. It's random, I think.
I think like the dugouts are actually just like oceanfront,
like shore, you know, So you can like go to the beach, but also
you get the swamp there. Beautiful.
So we have ourselves a ball game.
It'll be the same dealio here. You're facing the Cleveland
Crushers, a team that is known for their size and crushing
ability to gargantuan members of this team.
Some are just literally Jack dudes.
Some are actual giants. One is the slowly moving
mountain that will one day reach the batter's mound.
And God help us in that day comes.
Moon shot is playing left field today.
Doesn't doesn't love to field, but since Jackson is doesn't get
a hitter, you know, plays the position where they're going to
get the least amount of balls and standing out in left field
is is directly underneath the the Megatron.
And it's just going to have a conversation on Megatron while
the game's happening and potentially while this
conversation's happening, miss out on a play that he could have
made maybe. But it's really trying to get
some information out of Megatron, actually.
Megatron is holding the the Jumbotron much like Atlas
holding the world. Just like it looks down.
He's like, how do they help you, small one.
I don't know when your contract ends or whatever, but I've
amassed quite a bit of money and I'm looking for a ride when this
season ends. I'm, I'm looking to get out of
here and you seem like my best bet to get to where I'm trying
to go. Could would you be open to, you
know, talking to me about giving me a ride somewhere?
Where are you trying to go? And why would I help you?
Well, I don't know if you're still helping town the
destruction of Earth or whatever, but I have this plan
where I really, I've hit so many baseballs out of the park in my
life that and I've been working on my bat real hard.
I want to hit the sun so hard that it it moves.
And so I'd like for you to take me to space so I can hit the sun
and make it move. Oh, roll 3D6 for me.
We'll call it commanding attention.
No, I rolled A1A2 and A2. How?
Do you fail to convince Megatron of your plan?
I think while I'm talking to Megatron and making my case, one
of the giants just hit like just a little flick of his toothpick
of a bat and shoots the ball into left field and it it
bounces off of my hypotenuse and, and right into right into
Megatron. And like, he doesn't like to be
hit in that way, but the ball like bounces off my hippotenuse
into him and strikes him. And that's, that's he's like, I
think our relationship is over. I hate it so much when I get hit
with one of these spherical objects.
This is hell, this is hell, and you have made it that hell
happens if you were only paying attention and doing your job, as
I must do mine. Damn, man, I really, I really
screwed that one up and I'm so sorry.
Megatron and I, I'll pay attention from here on out.
OK, but just to join a void or something.
I can't help. You consider it though, but all
right. I have.
You are dismissed. OK.
It's the unsuccessful courting of Megatron to go to the sun.
How are we? How are the rest of the Florida
men doing out there? Now, if viewerships down and the
morale of the fans is down, Jackson knows the best way to
get the people going and cheering and he's got to beat
the piss out of someone. So I think this man gets up to
the batter's box and is like bends his knees a little bit to
like make it look like he's going for he's going for the
swing. He leans in a little bit too
close to get to purposely get hit by the ball and just spikes
the bat down on the ground and runs and tries to beat the shit
out of the pit opposing team's pitcher.
Who do we see when we see the pitcher you're charging, Anne?
The pitcher is probably a guy who's about a solid foot taller
on Jackson. Probably has about like 15 to 20
lbs more on Jackson. But Jackson's got that feral
white boy energy. He thinks he can take him.
He knows he can take him. He's got that confidence.
I can't think of a better time for you to use, get into a fight
and win, so roll 3D6 for me. Two sixes and a four, my guy.
Who bears witness to the absolute shit kickery you
inflict on this man? Jackson really ran up to that,
to that boulder of a man and just absolutely ripped the
pebbles off of him. Just got in there like look,
look like a small, tiny little person next to this boulder of a
man. But that didn't matter.
As soon, as soon, as, as soon as Jackson was all up in there was
just like climbing all over, ripping little pebbles off.
And and by the end of it, this, this boulder of a man was just a
crumple of pebbles on the ground.
And Jackson was standing on top. The crowd is going absolutely
nuts. You see this picture as he's
just being torn to shreds, putting hands up.
Like why did none of the umpires help me?
God can't help you here, son. We see God look at the camera,
go back dude, scare the shit out of me.
Susie's on water duty this game water duty is is making it rain
here for the Florida men. So Susie spends a lovely
afternoon of the game, not not in the dugout with the team, but
but up up in like the the sponsors box with with the
aforementioned swamp witch and takes a stroll down memory lane
with with this swamp, which and looks at all of the the framed
photos of all of the famous Florida men that have come
before. And looks at the trophy, the
trophy box and and all of the little trophies that the team
has won over the years. And and really just tries to
convince this swamp which to remember their love of the game
and to make it rain, which would be in favor of the Florida men
winning winning list. Doing so, have you roll 3D6?
Can I enact chaos because the rules don't say that you can
befriend a swamp witch and cause the game to be rained out.
Hell yeah. I did get a four for a total of
7. This is a success and we will
have someone describe it in more detail, but so you know, the
chaos table has deemed that it's storms.
It rains blood. Never.
Someone got it rained. Who would you like to have
describe this viscera from the sky?
I'm focused now, and in the time that I've been focused on this
game, I've seen one of my closest teammates RIP apart
another Gollum of a man and spill his blood upon the ground
upon these sacred fields that we play on.
It's just another day at the park, you know how it is.
But that blood seems to have reversed and been fed into the
ground and is now coming right back at us from this guy.
And this is not why I joined the sport.
But I can't say it's the first time it's happened.
I mean, this just, you know, sometimes this happens when
Cleveland comes to town, the crushers come to town.
You can always expect a little bit of blood.
And this time it's coming from above us.
And that's just how it is this time.
That's the way baseball go. Seeing what Danny's up to, I
think Danny's chilling on the dugout a little bit waiting,
waiting for his turnip bat. And he's sort of nearing one of
the the players from the opposing team again.
He's got a lot of old friends in the league.
You know, you get traded a bunch.
You know, you spend your time in various places and there's a a
lovely Cyclops, her name is Iris, old old friend.
We used to we used to be on on a team together.
And I'm just I'm just reminiscing with her, you know
it. I mean, this, this weather, it's
classic, right? It always rains in Florida.
Always rains in Florida. Good to see you, Danny.
Yeah. How's it going?
You know, a little bit of a down here for me, I won't lie, but do
you remember when we snuck on the Toronto Angels that one
season despite not being Angels? Yeah, it was great stuff.
I mean, you would have think they would notice the blue in
the one eye, but they didn't. It was fantastic.
You know, angels notably have many eyes.
So it's, it's really interesting.
Yeah. I think that's why we kind of
got away with it, because of the distinguishing features, but it
took them a while to catch on. Oh yeah, and they were never
very good at catching. Yeah.
That's right, you are. Hey, did I tell you the surgery,
by the way? Oh no, what's up?
Like LASIK? Oh, Congrats.
Yeah, yeah. Throwing fewer balls now.
Oh well, not great for me, but you know, it's a.
Oh, I'm not throwing strikes either.
They just give me an entirely different thing to throw.
Oh well, how about that? What are you throwing?
You tell me, Danny, what do you think is being pitched to you
right now? I think, you know, we cut to a
couple minutes later and Danny's a bat against, you know, Iris
pitching and we see Iris pitch an actual bean bag.
It's a bag of beans and intending to bean daddy just
just go going for it. My HBB count is crazy this year
so you can reminisce about the good old days anytime.
It will always succeed. Danny's got a very respectable
at bat. It gets a few balls here and
there, maybe a strike, but eventually finds that sweet
spot. It's a nice, nice sick looking
double right in the middle of the inning.
It's beautiful. Would have been better as a home
run just going straight through right past Megatron, but can all
be homers. Some of them can be double S.
Now we'll see if that double leads us to a victory.
Everyone roll 1D6 for me, 14 total youths above 8.
So the Florida men in exciting fashion take the victory.
What does its look and feel like?
Gang, tell me what victory in this stadium means for you
today. Moon shots real relieved, just
did not play his best today. Was unfocused, had a ulterior
motive to today's game, and just real glad Danny pulled it out
for us because I was afraid of how that might reflect on my
career. So thank you to Danny.
I mean, the crowd got what they want, violence, blood and really
good pissed missiles sent out to the vet, sent out to the
outfield. What more could you want from
this beautiful, beautiful sport? Susie is up in the sponsors box
with the swamp, which they're they're cheering, throwing
peanuts everywhere, toasting some toasty drinks together.
And the Swamp Bridge agrees to remove Susie rat tattoo for
free. And yeah, yeah.
And then I think on on the Jumbotron that Megatron is
holding up. You, you, you get like the big
like framed out video of like Susie and the swamp, which just
like cheering on the team and, and, and going wild when they
notice that they're up on the the Jumbotron.
And, you know, I think, I think the fans are really loving all
this. They of course, were ready for
blood rain. It's a it happens from time to
time in these conditions. I think it's part of what, you
know, helped bring the men to victory today is we're used to
this stuff and the crusher is less so.
But the the fans of the stands, they've all got their umbrellas
out. They're especially made for
blood. It's really, they've got some
great designs. They get really creative with
it. It's a big thing that men fans
do is they get their special blood umbrellas.
Yeah, it's a, it's a great time and.
Just like the blood, you know, we're going to be positive.
So and you know, good stuff, blood rain, hurricane season,
they just go hand in hand. Nothing like good Florida
baseball. I'll tell you what, it ain't
summer until we get blood hurricanes.
After every year, the blood hurricanes come sooner and
sooner, am I right? You guys don't get blood
Hurricanes. Someone's got to do something
about this. This sun is too close to us.
The blood hurricanes are happening more often, more
frequently, I'm saying. Like it's getting closer.
I just love, I just love that the fans have put time into
customizing their blood umbrellas.
It's a good touch. It's a good touch.
All right, game that's going to bring us to your final scenes
for the last game of the season. So this will be a good time to
start wrapping up any interpersonal journeys are going
on. Reflect on your careers, really
get into the the meat and potatoes of of the mark you want
to leave on this season. And we will, of course, continue
by going to the right, which means we're going to start with
Moon shot Mendoza for this scene.
Moon Shots going to do something he has never bothered to do in
his career in the professionals, which is to seek a sponsor, that
he's going to need somebody to fund or supply his trip, that
he's going to be taken after they win the World Series.
So, yeah, he's looking for a sponsor specifically.
So he's going to hold a press conference.
He's actually going to interrupt a press conference that's
already in motion. Like the president of operations
for the Florida Man is holding a press conference.
And Moon Shots. Going to walk in and say, I'm so
sorry to interrupt everyone, but I have something to say.
I've been here a long time and I'm currently looking for
someone to take on a mission. I have sponsor, I'll do whatever
you want. You know, I can be your
spokesperson. You know, if, if you are, if you
make very specific type of hardware leveling systems, I'm
good for that. If you need to know the best way
to build a bridge triangle, again, I can help you with that.
Just yeah, anything, any kind of Angular business you got, I'm
I'm here for you. If you're here, sponsor me.
Rule 3D6 for me. 3 fives the time.
There was a hush over the reporters because moon shot
interrupted and everyone was shocked at such behavior from
moon shot rarely ever seen before and that created this
perfect environment for moon shots pitch for sponsors.
And out of out of the back of the room this smaller triangular
person stands up on their chair and just goes the angles for
love. Would love to sponsor you all.
Right, that's a big old yes right there.
Unless there's a higher bid, turns this into an auction.
Yeah, I think, I think like several more sponsors put
forward their their sponsorship terms.
Inspired by your, your shape and your mission, Sun Chips, I think
of course comes forward, you know?
I can. I can work with Sun Chips.
I get. I mean, I can work with it,
obviously. It goes without saying.
I'm more of a Doritos man myself, but.
No, Yeah, yeah. As long as you're willing to
provide. The mountain spring water that
has a triangular mountain on their labeling puts forth a puts
forth, puts forth a bid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll we'll feature you on our bottles instead of the mountain.
I will be upside down, but I've been known to be upside down in
games before so that the picture already exists.
There you go. You have funding for your
adventure to the Sun. I guess we'll see if that has
any game implications shortly. So bring me to you, Danny.
I want to roll on that event table.
I think that's a great time. All right, I've got a 5. 5 is
Children's Fun Friday on the last Friday of the month.
Every month an event called the Children's Fun Friday happens at
your field, but the word children refers to varies from
Friday to Friday. Sometimes it's actual human
children, sometimes it's dogs, sometimes it's a horde of
demons. No matter what a lot of these
children show up on these days and cause some kind of a ruckus
during the game. The youngest player at the table
determines what the children are this month and tells the other
player. So Danny, you will in fact be
the person who's going to decide what the children are this
month. Our second youngest person,
which sounds like it's you, Mag, is also silently decides one
thing that happens as a result result of the children's arrival
and so on until the oldest player decides.
And we're going to do this just before the baseball phase.
So you have until this round is over to think about for Louisa,
the kids. And then we're going to build
off each other in the order of Mags.
Kenny Sylvia. I think in true athlete fashion,
leading up right to the big important game, Jackson's going
to get in a bit of legal heat and is trying to get his way out
of said legal heat so he can still compete in the in the
World Series. And I think what he got in
trouble for was he decided to go to the NASA base without moon
shot and is trying to talk his way into getting more rockets
for the bats. Yeah, OK.
How are you approaching getting out of that legal trouble?
I think as he's trying to explain to the police what is
going on, he is desperately trying to get Moon shot on the
phone just like like stabbing his his smartphone with his big
fucking sausage fingers and be like, no, you don't understand.
He's the smart one. He's the one go with words.
He is the one who's going to Get Me Out of this.
Now you talk to him. Good, and you're all three D6 to
convince a cop. I rolled A3A2 and A6.
The Six makes it a success. Moon Shot tried to use his words
to help Jackson out of the situation, but realized that
bureaucracy was going to take too long and we need Jackson for
the game. So Moon Shots been staying late
for practice, but he hasn't been swinging his bat.
He's been working on in space travel with his rocket bat,
which is what this is all been about really.
He's going to fly in to this compound where this county,
Florida jail where Jackson's being kept, fly in and fly out a
snatch and grab of Jackson Baker to get him back where he belongs
on the diamond. When you get Jackson out of
Illegal Bind before the big game, before Children's Fun
Friday and we go to Susie. I'm.
Also going to use the event table.
All right, Roland D6 for me. Oh, this?
10 gosh OK I threw it but it's fine.
It landed on A4. A4, which is Sip It Up.
You have been chosen to appear in a sponsorship ad with your
fellow PCs. It's for a new energy drink.
Unfortunately, the energy drink tastes awful.
Like it's hard to drink it without gagging.
Awful play out. The event is a normal scene, but
we're going to have a timer set every two minutes.
Everyone must roll 3D6 to see if they successfully pretend to
like the drink. If you as a team fail three or
more times on these roles, you lose the sponsorship.
Yeah, oh, this comes in a great Berry flavor.
Everyone will sure love it. What do you all have?
Mine's called blood rain. What does everyone have?
Mine is called Baja Blast 2. Very good, very good.
Yeah, this one's called Premium and it's just got a gas can next
to it. That's really nice, yeah.
Mine is accurately named a locker room.
Roll 3D6 everybody. OK.
OK, Yeah. I've got a 5 in there so we're
good. I got 6. 4-5 and a six.
I rolled A1A2 and A1. We have one failure, Moon Shot.
You failed to keep this one down.
What does it taste like? What happened to your body?
I think this one's actually just blood.
My body is a literal angular temple and this will not have a
place in it. I'm sorry.
And I throw the can up in the air and pound it with a bat that
I keep with me. I'm just like into the wall A.
Sponsorship person behind the camera goes hey I hear you but
can you not do that please or say those things?
Oh, this fabulous flavor that everyone should check out their
each of our fans should come up and get themselves some grat
grat. Does that say grass?
I love Baja blast too. It's like Baja Blast but more.
Pro 3D6. Why is this one called a hug
from my dad? I rolled all successes again.
Cool. Good.
I'm good. Yeah. 6 for Danny, 6 for Susie.
Moon shot. I didn't know I had to roll as
well. Here we go.
That's a success. Yeah, you, you are, you are
selling it. You are maintaining the
sponsorship. A guy in a in a big suit that
says, hey, we're just going to keep rolling some more things.
Here's another 12 pack of flavors.
Just keep holding him up and describing them.
Just this is really great stuff. We really appreciate y'all doing
this. A huge truck of money we brought
to all your homes to just keep this up.
All right, this one's called gaining an hour of sleep when
daylight savings ends. I don't know.
I don't know what to think about this one.
That's you know it's going to give you the energy we need to
do baseball yeah yes energy this this flavour here it says the
specific pizza with hot dogs on it from the rat stadium.
Why would you? Are they weird people to promote
that that's this feels like a brand mismatch.
I know I I'm. Now they're just running out of
flavors. This one straight up is called
The Smell from the Lowe's Greenhouse Room.
Man, okay, hold on. That's actually kind of good.
That's kind of good. So mine, my my awesome flavor
that everybody out there needs to try is reading the first book
that you ever read 1/3 time for the first time.
Roll 3D6. I like this event, a good one.
I'm still good. I'm good.
Got a four? Cool.
This one's actually pretty good. This one that I have is called
Landing the Dishes Soak as a facade for not wanting to do the
dishes tonight. I've actually had that one
before. Yeah, I.
Just thought about actually drinking the soaking dishes that
I wanted to throw up. This one is called actually
drinking the dish soaking water. This was the chaser.
Yeah, this was the chaser. It's no, I think.
I think if you're going to pigment in order, that one's the
one to add for sure. Although I mean, just just one
can is enough energy for a game. You don't need more than one.
It's good enough. This one is called the first day
of spring where it actually feels like T-shirt weather or
you don't have to put on a sweatshirt in the beginning of
the day. Y'all got to stop this is this
is too much. We did a lot of surveys.
I think mine's a printing error. It just says Yeller.
No, that one's yeller. With five Rs.
Yeah, it's Yeller. More Rs for more energy.
Yeller roll 3D6 for me. This is your last one success.
I got all sixes. You.
Have successfully kept and maintained the energy drink
sponsor congratulations nasty energy drinks freshly inside of
you. Legal troubles avoided, more
sponsorship money for the moon acquired we and of course, the
impending Children's Friday fun night, which is happening at the
same time as the World Series. So first thing is first, Danny.
What children do we see? You know, I thought about
getting wacky with this, but it is children.
It's the local middle school Glee club.
They're here. They're ready to do some
singing. They're excited about it.
Some of them are triangles, some of them are horses, but they're
the local middle school Glee club and they're they're ready
to enjoy a beautiful day of baseball.
Brought on the sing the national anthem.
I'm sure now we are going to go in reverse aging order.
So Mags, we are now going to decide what happens as a result
of the children's arrival. What's the first thing that
happens to the local middle school Glee club?
Now you see every kids dream is to be able to run the bases of a
Major League Baseball stadium. I know it's been 1 of mine,
that's why I'm playing baseball now.
However, we do know that this field is just riddled with
Gators, but we're still letting these fucking kids run the bases
anyway. And by goddamnit I'm going to
see one of them kids at least make it to home.
But home base? As they cross home plate Moon
Shot, Mendoza is standing at home with a suited corporate
entity of some kind who has like a giant box in front of them.
And as they're crossing home plate, Moon Shot is standing
there saying as a reward incentive, I don't know from
one, from one of my many sponsors, triangular sponsors,
AOL, they're offering you their newest tablet, some kind of
thing where I don't know, all you horny kids like to talk
online or something. This is connecting you online.
So triangular tablet, go at it. Thank you for being here today.
It's going to make reading at AO3 so much better.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much and thank you
to my sponsor, AOL. The children have run the bases,
they have drank through energy drinks, they have crossed over
home plate. They were handed special
triangle tablets designed just for them.
And they continue that running spree into a what looks like a
slip and slide, but it's interdimensional slip and slide
and they take their tablets full of wisdom and knowledge.
They go through this slip and side, and then the the locker
room door opens and a bunch of new Florida Men team members
walk out as they are. The kids that have traveled in
time have aged up and now become new players of the team, and
they have advanced their triangular tablet capabilities.
Yeah, even further. Wow.
Thank. You so excited.
We've recruited a whole Glee club.
That's really that's that's going to be great.
A new Glee club and now all. These kids are sport nerds.
Yeah, yeah. The whole.
Dangerous stuff. Of performance nerd and sport
nerd, I'm all too familiar. Well, that brings us to the
World Series gang. You are facing the Toronto
Angels. As previously mentioned by 1
Danny, this is a team of literal actual Angels from Canada.
You will play this game as normal and there are a few
different things you can do during the World Series.
The main 1 is when it comes time to make any rolls.
You may choose to roll again if you have a four or higher on the
die. This can be to incite more
chaos. This can be during the scoring
section in case you want to try and roll a higher number or even
a lower number. You just have that additional
rule in the bank for this one. Given that we now have a Glee
club and our last game, of course we really succeeded
thanks to the blood ring and we are the Florida men.
Danny goes up to the Glee club for new members and goes.
Do you guys know it's raining men?
I think it would really hype up the crowd.
It's like kind of our thing. I'm.
Going to have you roll 3D6 for that.
Great. Cool.
OK, there's one or two and a six, but the six works.
Yeah, the Glee club consults the triangular tablets.
You hear them. You hear them harmonizing and,
and getting on pitch, finding, finding that that B flatters
their starting note. You you see the the horse
choreographer, you know, planning out some quick steps
and then the Glee club team member is now charged the other
teams dugout and perform It's Raining men, a full
choreographed dance. Somehow confetti is now falling
from the sky as as they are cause 'cause the rules don't say
that you can't perform a whole Glee club musical number in
front of the opposite teams dugout.
Danny like Pats and the other team members backs like we all
know angels are weak to choirs. All these angels staring out
into the stands, weeping. Susie's recovered the swamp,
which came in clutch. Susie steps up to bat.
It's like one of the few times that Susie has to bat in, but
they they just need, they just need a walk.
That's all they need right now. So they put Susie in Susie.
Susie steps up to the plate and and the catcher is right there
and, and Susie just just leans over a little bit and says, Hey,
you know, that knit is like, that's such a nice knit, you
know, like, wow, did you, did you pay?
Did you buy that yourself? That is so nice.
Like, wow. It was a gift from on high.
Wow, you really deserve that gift.
And and you know, can can I also, while I'm here, can I just
say I really like your form? You know, as a pitcher myself, I
rarely see catchers that have such great form.
Do you think maybe like you want to go practice later or
something? My form is ill achievable in
this mortal life, but I can show you a few pointers.
Yeah, and Grant, we're befriending someone from the
other team. Yeah, let's roll 3D6.
That's a four. I thought Susie was a bit of an
odd bird when we got her on the team.
I never understood why we needed a third backup picture, but now
I get it. You know, she's kind.
She's sweet. She's the kind of person where
you're like, you're good stock, I appreciate you.
Sometimes I wish she would stop being so friendly to the
opposing team. But you know, in times like
this, maybe she's right. Maybe it does confuse the shit.
Out of them. And you know what?
God damn it, we're going to use that to our advantage.
Well, with that little node hanging over our heads, Jackson,
how are we going to do that? I would first like to roll on
the chaos table. Have a little fun.
We are banking our last chaos table.
Go ahead and roll your 3D6. That's going to be a 10.
Mysterious music fills the stadium.
Nobody knows where it's coming from.
I feel like it sounds like those haunting little Glee club kids.
It's got to be them. I feel like it's coming from
like all angles where it's like haunt.
It's like you don't know where it's coming from.
It sounds like it's coming from like the back of your head and
it just freaks the fuck out of you.
But maybe, just maybe, you can use that to get them to spooky
little angels going nuts trip them off their game.
You know, I've seen a lot of things in my day, seeing all
sorts of stuff. But you know, Jackson up, up, up
at the plate and the strange music, feeling the stadium.
It's like it's raining men is going on.
That's happening still, but it's echoing and like with the
younger versions and it's really it's a fascinating little sound.
It's it's really interesting. But Jackson, you know, the
Angels seem distraught by all this and pitcher throws shacks
and a real nice clean one down the middle and it's a home run.
Nice, nice, beautiful right out of the stadium World Series.
Nothing, nothing quite like it. I mean, again, I've seen seen a
hell of a lot of things, but that is a beautiful, beautiful
this way. I see Susie has befriended the
catcher and every time Susie comes up that just randomly they
get a four pitch walk and the catcher will walk around the
bases with them actually like hand in hand.
And so I'm inspired by this that I could possibly charm someone
on the opposite team, charm someone to give me something I
need. And so I'll I'll, for the first
time in my career, not swing as hard as I can at a pitch and
just hit a well placed double and while I'm standing on second
base, pretend like I'm going to steal.
So the second baseman will come over and I'll talk to the second
baseman, the Angel, and say, how about a little bit?
It's a real close game. Would you must be pretty bored
being an Angel and everything's perfect, you know, for you.
But how about a little wager to make things interesting?
Gambling is a sin. All right, well, how about an
agreement? Agreement is not a sin.
I will if we win this game, you give me the ability to breathe
in space. And if if you win this, because
I think you got some divine stuff going on, maybe some gifts
you could offer, and of course you all win this game, I'll
bring my wealth of sponsorships and abilities to Toronto.
So be it. You agree.
Any 6 for me. OK, great.
All right, that's three successes.
You know, when I first got in the majors, when I first got
drafted to this team fresh out of high school, I didn't have
many friends. I didn't really know much much
of anybody on this team. I did know Moon shot, though.
God damn it, Moon Shot. You're going to do great fucking
things and I hope you get your wish because if there's anyone
in this team, anyone in this league fucking deserves it, it's
you. Thank you, Jackson.
After we win this World Series, I'm going to hit the ultimate
heater up in space. Got to do it for the team.
Which will bring us to the final role of the game.
Here World Series scoring will work a little bit differently
because we have a table that we can use if the situation
demands. So you're all going to roll your
1D6 for me and you're going to add the total of that number
together. If you roll higher than the four
D6 I roll, then you win. Under you lose.
But of course you're allowed to re roll anything that is a four
or higher. 5710 that makes it a total of 12 for the Florida men
and the now I'm going to tell you that I have a 16.
So describe for me how we lose the World Series.
Like any good baseball game or any bad baseball game for a
team, most of the time teams don't win because of one player.
So I think moon shots contribution to this loss is
that he's thinking about this deal he's made with the Angel at
second base and he goes up to bat.
And this time he's he's hell bent on hitting the moon shot
just like his namesake. And he activates the rocket bat
and he swings, but this time the the flames from the The Jets on
the rocket melt the bat halfway through his swing and he strikes
out in a clutch situation. It's heartbroken as he tumbles
back to the dugout. I think those grumpy fans would
say Danny's getting old, it's time for him to retire.
Yeah, You know, he steps up to bat.
He whiffs it a couple times. He does a little bunt.
It doesn't really work out. He gets on base once but doesn't
make anything of it. And over on 5th base, when he's
in the outfield, he's, you know, nothing really comes his way.
Doesn't contribute much. It's it's not the best game for
him, but it's not the first time he's lost the World Series.
It happens. Jackson tries to think about
where he's headed in the future with his career, where he's reef
projected, You know, got a lot of pressure riding on his
shoulders, being a really good slugger, being a really good
home run hitter. And for the first time, he's
thinking about what his reputation looks like and what
being being a team player looks like.
And he's trying to keep his composure, trying to play it
different this time, trying to be more mature and learning from
his mistakes. And I think for the first time,
for the first time, being calm and collected really worked
against him. But you know, there's always
going to be more games. There's always going to be,
there's going to be more chances and can't win them all, can't
win them all. He's got a show.
He's got a show that despite his losses, despite everything, that
next season, he's going to come back and beat the absolute
living shit out of those Angels when they come back to the
Everglades. Did it hurt when you fell from
Florida? No, because I had to crawl out
of that hail swamp where I came from.
Susie convinced the coach to put her up to be pitcher for the
second to last inning. Susie got overly confident,
thought that she could do it, but as soon as she stepped up to
the pitcher's mound and and she she organizes her flip floppy
feed in the right way to so that she can throw that amazing pitch
that she's been practicing. The lights are suddenly
brighter, the laughter that she hears from the crowd is louder.
And now she doubts her abilities and, and gets anxious and, and,
and can't quite bring yourself to throw that ball.
And instead she puts her her head down and just walks off the
field without ever throwing the ball.
She just carries the ball off the field with her and, and you
see her walk out of the the exit to the stadium and, and she just
walks all the way to her car and just leaves and can't face the
embarrassment of not being able to to throw a pitch in in the
most important game. Baseball is a lot of things.
It can be beautiful, it can be heartbreaking, it can be the
most boring fucking day of your life, and it can be incredibly
exciting. Today it was a battle of men and
angels, and unfortunately this time the Angels won.
But that's a beautiful thing about baseball.
The Angels may have won today, but the next season starts
tomorrow and that is Ball Game. Thank you all for playing with
me here tonight. Again, Ball Game was made by our
friend Finch Edmond. There is a link to purchase the
game in the episode description. I highly recommend you do it,
especially if you were fans of things like Blaseball or Off or
the Savannah Bananas. Thank you all again for your,
your, your, your wonderful characters here tonight, these
delightful maniacs. Kenny, thank you for joining us.
Where can we find more of you? You can find me mostly on an
actual play podcast called This Could Get Dicey where I play
with three friends. We are finishing our first
season right now. It's been 3 years.
A very long form type of campaign if you're into that.
You can also find me on social medias at Chilport CHILPORT and
on various Game Master Monday shows.
Louisa, thank you for joining us.
Where can we find more of you? You can find me over on Blue Sky
at Louisa Blatt BLATT and there you can find more about the
assorted one shots that I do in the tabletop space, as well as
some songwriting stuff I do and voice acting and my day job with
video games. A lot of stuff going on over
there. Also on YouTube.
A friend of mine we also on YouTube at Gay throughs.
A friend of mine from college and I play a bunch of video
games and do queer commentary and it's a fun time and you
should check us out. Mags, where can we find more of
you? You can find me on most social
media except for the app formerly known as the Bird App.
My username is at Magneto MAGNEA TO795.
And if you like what you heard from me tonight, I am an
occasional regular over on Streaming Rainbow.
I am on the first condo of Inferno.
I am on a few campaigns for the Fathoms system that is currently
being developed and honestly they make a lot of really good
variety stuff. For anything that you like I
think you should listen to and watch a bunch of their stuff.
They're all delightful friends of mine.
You gotta say I agree, Sylvia. Where can we find more of you?
You can find me everywhere relevant at Shadow Sylvia When
I'm not doing fun guest roles here on awesome networks like
Game Master Monday, I'm a producer over at Roald D5, where
we specialize in playing in DTTRPGS.
So come and play a game with us. And that's pretty much
everything for now, Grant. For now, ominous, ominous plug.
Hi, I'm Grant. I've been your coach, your
facilitator, your occasional guy For today's episode of this is
your first time listening to Game Master Monday.
We do one shots just like this every two weeks.
And if you've been a fan of these four people, as you
rightfully should be, and you've been with us for the first time,
I appreciate you checking us out.
We'll be back again in two more weeks and we got a lot of cool
stuff coming down the pipeline here for you, including an
exciting new live mini series called Absurdia.
That'll be GM D by my sister Jenny on our Twitch channel.
So follow us there, hit that follow button on whatever
podcast that you're using right now, and we will see you again
next time. Bye, bye everybody.
Hey guys, that's a. Horse great work, Great work I
got. To know more about this horse.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make or drink.
Thank you. I thought we were just going to
let it sit like. Yeah, know if.
We were going to address it or not, OK, just.
We'll see what's safe in the end.
Where you going? We've done our horsing around,
we're all set. Good.
Hello, post credit scene, okay? Yeah, back to the horseplay.
Back to the horseplay.