Welcome to Game Master Monday. I am your game master Grant
Nordine. Today's episode is our final one
in our Summer of Remasters. Thank you all for checking all
of these out the some episodes I was very proud of and excited to
run through the old editing machine again.
Today we're playing Spell Jammer.
It's a DND episode. It was a campaign I homebrewed
for two of my closest friends and my sister.
So it's it's it's a riot. That's one of my favorite things
maybe ever. But before we get into that, I
have two cool new TTR PGS to share with you.
Let me start off by showing you neon shadows.
There have always been those who fight for change and those who
fight against it. No one remembers how long the
Great War had gone on. No one remembers exactly who
drew the first blood, but that doesn't matter anymore.
All that anyone knows is the city.
That's when the walls went up as the Great War smoldered into
oblivion. It was supposed to be a paradise
run on ather and built where all are welcome, equal and free.
A living, breathing system that was supposed to stop what
happened before from ever happening again.
And the fools of the world. Crushed by war and worn by death
and loss? Believed them, Neon Shadows is a
collaborative TTRPG that uses a card based system we call DICE.
It was made by us here at Los Guide Games.
Neon Shadows is made for two to six players.
It has a narrative based system where you all you need is some
friends. A deck of standard playing cards
and enter into the world of the city become one of the shades
built on the 9 eogram types. Trying to make a difference?
Check out our Kickstarter launching August 1st.
It is in pre launch currently and we are looking at a Winter
2023 release, Winter 2023. It'll be here before you know
it. So wouldn't you want to be on
the ground floor of an exciting new narratively driven TTR PG
system? I know I would, and I know I
wouldn't want to be the person who isn't on the ground floor of
that like, God, I'd be so embarrassed for you.
Now for our next ad. I'm not 100% sure where it came
from, but I do feel obligated prompted, perhaps even called,
to share it with you. So just bear with me here for a
moment. You have been chosen to enter
and explore a space not native to your reality, and opening
into this unknown has appeared in a remote place, Maybe the
deep unexplored ocean, or the vast emptiness of space, or the
alien barren tundra. Even something so mundane as a
house that seems a little bigger on the inside can manifest an
opening. Your tasks are simply to
document your findings during your exploration and make it
back to reality. To help you in this mission, you
have been provided a small pod to explore in equipped with a
suit for deeper investigations and enough supplies to last you,
You are a Coffinut, available at Goran 93 dot itch dot I/O slash
Coffinut. That's GORAA N93 dot itch dot
IO/CT HONAUT. Good luck.
Huh. Weird.
Wonder what that was about. Oh well.
And now, without further ado, Spell Jammer.
Welcome to Game Master Monday, the new edition of the Monthly
Grant Rant series, where I play a tabletop RPG with a rotating
cast, and this month we are playing Spell Jammer for D and
D5E. My players are Jenny Nordine
playing Bishoko Uray Matsu, a Level 3 Plasmoid Druid.
I'm Michael Childs. I am playing Draco mouth stuff
who is a Dragonborn fighter Level 3.
I'm Joel Rude. I'm playing Josette, Inez.
Well, that's his nom de plume. He is a Rogue Level 3 Arcane
Trickster. Now you D&D fans out there may
be thinking to yourself, well wait, how are they already
playing Spell Jammer? Doesn't that come out August
16th wherever you buy your D&D products?
And you are right. But fortunately, the powers that
be have given us early access to the first adventure in Spell
Jammer today. We'll be using that as our base
as I DM our way through a holy original adventure in the Spell
Jammer universe. And for those who aren't D&D
fans, Spell Jammer is a new addition to the 5th edition of
D&D, as we have played before. But Spell Jammer is different
because it's D&D in space. Are you all excited?
Fantastic. OK, let me give you the back
story for where you all are currently.
You all are stowaways on a massive spaceship, the design of
which was foreign to you all as you got on it.
It is freezing cold in this room and you're surrounded by boxes.
You don't know much about why you're here or who even sent
you, but here's what you all do know. 1A mysterious employer
brought you all together. Two, they have promised to pay
you handsomely and grant you legal protection.
If three, you are to capture the captain of the ship and bring
them to a predetermined planet in the astral plane.
Alive. That's your scenario.
Enjoy the room. Little icicles are forming on my
nose. I'm very cold as a liquid
person. I am.
Plasmoids are very slimy. If we, like, shake your hand
right now, is it like crystallized?
It might freeze to you. Yeah, you know what?
Tongue on a telephone pole kind of situation.
Which of us is the telephone pole?
Me. Yeah, I guess that I look around
the room, I like smell to see if there's like food and whatnot.
What a that's a fun idea. Okay a role perception.
Certainly a no. Statin D&D, it's all kind of
that perception counts. The nose perception?
Yeah. Smellception at 1616.
OK, so you don't smell food. You just kind of smell cold air.
You know that when an A/C is blasting and you're like, wow,
that sort of did freeze my boogers.
It kind of smells like that. But you're surrounded by boxes
that clearly have labels printed on them in a language you don't
recognize. And I have a thing that says
comprehend language. That's my one level spell.
OK, Does that fuck you up? Because I could.
No, it makes my life easier. I've just cast my Comprehend
languages. They totally know what they say.
Okay. Great, so okay.
So on the boxes they have labels printed on them.
Some say things like map, some say things like rich person
stuff. Some say pretty much everything
is just like a whole room full of boxes that say map.
OK, gentlemen and and gentle person.
My friends. It looks as if they're saying
map. Everything is maps.
Rich person shit. Maps.
Maps.
Would you get a help me open one up Yeah, I'll.
I'll help your pry. Open a map box.
Excellent. Have a two my friend.
Yes, I'm feeling very cold because I am cold blooded and
it's. Cold.
In here, so I am feeling rather lethargic, so I need to be
warmed up. I'll do some jumping jacks while
you guys open this box up. Yeah, you roll Athletics to see
how warm work for a cold blooded being Michael.
Rolled Athletics. Jenny, you wanted to open a box?
Yeah, I'll pry open a box. Roll strength.
OK, great. Hate it.
Can I help them? Yeah, you can open the natural
one. I have a liquid Jenny you splash
on the box and you're like, oh right, of course.
My athletic roll, A5 and A4 for strength.
Yeah, OK, actually, I got a little combo I can do.
OK, OK, so I've got fire bolt. Oh my God.
Would you do an Arcane Trickster?
Is the robe. That's got some magic, of
course. Holy.
Because if I need to pass as some other magical being, I can
turn my mate hand invisible. Joel thought ahead.
Joel was like, there's no way he's been prepared for a magical
robe. OK, so I'm going to cast fire
bolt on the top of one of these. OK, OK, Yeah.
But does he have to roll for that?
No, he just does it, right? Roll for like to hit it,
depending on that. I have a feeling that the box,
yeah, I don't got a super high DC on the box.
Go ahead and roll. It's 20.
Great. Wow wow it like you did it on
purpose. The the the only the lid of the
box burns away like let's just magically like fan of snapping.
It just fades into the distance you will the five in your
athletics. You get a little warmer but not
like enough to like you do a few like jumping jacks.
Like, God, I've done this in a while so like you're like a
little warmer but not like sufficiently can I like take
some of the pieces of the wood and put them next to shore and
then cast that same fire bolt which is your can trip delighted
on fire. And I got my hands out.
That's not a little. It's a can trip.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling back to my normal strength.
I had to thaw out Zets. You now have a box full of maps.
There is so they are maps of the ship.
And now you're going to learn some things about our ship.
You are aboard what is called the Britannic 2.
The Britannic 2. The Britannic 2 is the name of
the ship it's on. There's a little map of the ship
that's like a cartoony version of the ship.
You very quickly realize this is a diner's place mat map of the
ship. Oh, great.
So you're on one side, you have the ship and you see things like
Level 0, Level 1, Level 2, Level 3, executive suites, officer
suites. And they're all like cartoony
and cheery and like have little pictures of the doors and people
getting, do they have little factoids?
Like the history of this thing is a blah, Yeah, exactly.
It says that the Britannic 2 does not have a previous
version, We just called it that. Wait, is it Britannic Roman
numeral 2 or Nutanic TOO Common 2, The number 2, the Arabian
numeral 2? And on the back of it, you see a
maze, you see a word search, you see something called a name the
planet contest. And you see one more little
factoid on the the the ship side of it that says that says we are
rescuing you from the doomed planet Durant and we're taking
you to your new home. Are there other like cell things
like? On the map, does it appear if
that, like, other people have been rescued?
I said with quotation marks, doesn't appear like other people
have been rescued, as in, like, have we been to other planets?
I think he's asking, no. So as far as you can glean from
the ship, this is transporting a planet's worth of people from a
previous planet. And it sounds that they're going
to a new planet, which you can glean from the fact that the the
playmat side of the play mat has a name.
The new planet. Oh, new right on.
Yeah. OK, got it.
So, DM, as we look around, what else do we see beyond the
crates? Can we, Oh my God, so many more
boxes? But you also see the door.
There's an exit. Okay on the map.
Does it show where we are currently?
Yeah, you are. So imagine like imagine the
historical ship the Britannic Sister shipped to the Titanic.
White Star line. They did not crash into an
iceberg. Wrong.
But it did sink. Oh, what the Britannic, anyway.
History lesson. The Britannic was supposed to
the bigger, cooler version of the Titanic.
Also sank. Propeller killed so many people.
Jeez, so you're on the Britannic too.
On the little map. It doesn't really point to like
specific areas, but you can see that you are currently on level
0 because there's a little toy like cartoon box and like bottom
left corner of the ship kind of under where all the like rooms
would be. And it just says here's where
your stuff is. So you were in the cargo room.
So we're down here boxy. Any boxes that don't say map?
No, this is all maps, all maps, everyone else's luggage is in
their rooms and whatnot. Damn.
Yeah, there there would have. So, So what?
What's our? What do we know?
The brief from our employer? What?
What is? Yeah, so not.
Not a lot. Your employer was mysterious you
you were contacted by one of his contacts who encountered you all
individually and then brought you together somehow.
You snuck onto the ship. I'll let you all figure out
those details, because it's your plan, basically.
So all you know is you're on a ship, you snuck on.
You are being promised legal protection for doing the
definitely illegal shit you're doing, and they want the captain
alive. OK.
And this is the first time we've met each other.
You've met because you all have to get on this ship.
OK. So that you, you met, you
formulated a plan, you snuck a board, you are now in like what
I would call phase two if you're doing a heist movie.
OK, Phase two mid heist you are. Yeah, you are.
Flashback back to the corner where we're all like 47 minute
mark of Ocean's 11. The first montage has already
happened, right? Exactly.
Preparation montage. You've suited up, you've
synchronized your watches. You are now in the building.
My watch has sunk into my arm. I look at my watch and I'm like,
shoot. Dang, I think it's the cold is
affected. Is yours working still?
Yeah, it's working. We've got one.
The other detail that you were given is your employer would
like this done as swiftly as possible.
Oh well, thank you very much, employer, we will speed our way
out of here, he says to the watch, hoping that it might be a
walkie-talkie watch. Realizing that it is not.
I guess we'd go to the door. Yeah, let's go to the door.
Right to the door. Perfect.
You have left the room. I need everyone to roll.
Oh no, not everyone. I need me to roll the perception
check. You me watching to see if
someone someone outside. They may or may not be seeing
us. You are opening the door and I'm
rolling a perception check in. It is a 15 which means I fail.
Is it like a traditional door and a hinge or like the cool
start? Yeah, traditional door and a
hinge where we're still in D&D rules.
In D&D Spell Jammer, all the ships are made of wood and like
regular ship things, they just fly in space.
Now OK, take it like that door on SpongeBob house.
Kinda. Oh yeah, that makes sense.
You've left the room, so as you've probably gathered every
four has guards, so just be aware of that.
But this guard for whatever you do next has failed his
perception check. So you're free to do whatever
you want to do next. Where do we see the guard you
are? Yeah, you can see the guard.
He's just kind of like it's like Metal Gear Solid.
He's like walking back and what was that noise Turns around
doesn't see you, just keeps doing this thing.
The. Little exclamation point above
his head, Right? You were in the level 0 hallway,
which you are allowed to make a perception role in.
Should you so choose? I'm going to look around. 1818
OK, so it's a dimly lit hallway, but you can still make out a few
certain things. You can see 5 doors on either
side of the hallway all alternating, and they all kind
of lead to what appears to be a staircase at the end of the
hallway. OK, I will look at my map and
see if they correspond to anything.
None of the rooms are labeled on the map, but each room does have
a label on its door. It's in that language you
couldn't understand from the cargo room, so you'll just have
to ask just that. All right, just that I walk over
to the nearest door and then the nearest door.
Yeah, Okay. Seeing that the Draco is having
trouble reading and I walk over and I'm like, ah, let me see.
I pull out some like, fake glasses.
It says Brig Brig. So there may be some problems in
there, probably not in there, no.
No, let's keep going. And then the opposite side,
opposite side of that, that door reads poop shoot.
Poop shoot, You're like, well, you could probably get up
through something from there. You need to like, sneak around,
but I feel like that's not something.
I wouldn't enjoy it now. Maybe that can be our escape
route. Only then just leave for me,
Gregory. OK, so this is going to set you
some time for role-playing each door.
Here are the names of each room. The 3rd.
So second I'll start from the left end of the hallway.
The Brig, the poop shoot. This next one just says the JIC.
Fourth door says crew sleepies, sleepies.
The 5th room says the glass room.
Glass room. Yes, the glass room.
The 6th room. And it's on the other side of
the hallway now. So the right side of the hallway
has a door in quotation marks. The labels in quotation marks.
Door. It says Jimbo Jimbo.
The next one next to that also has quotation marks, but that's
just a question mark. Inside of the quotation marks,
there is something Captain's special.
And the last one says gas. So I'll let you role play
running up in the hallway, reading the room.
Alright. Gas.
Room. Captain's special.
Special room. The Jimbo, The glass room.
Very curious. Where's the guard in relation to
us? Is there any danger of them?
Let's say he's at the end of the hallway, at the end of the very
end of the hall. No danger of you are safe to go
through any door. OK, Right.
Should we move on? Should we do?
Do we want to? Are we the exploring type of
people? Do we just want to check the
Captain's special and move on? I don't think he'd be any other
ones. All right, Excellent.
Shall we? Let's do it.
Same plan as last time. Let's do it.
Captain's Special. I'm going to go into stealth if
I can, like, so that. Like, even if they pop out like,
I can hide like. Or is that?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
It's like maybe something to hide in.
I didn't do a very good job. Great.
What, did you roll 88? Yeah.
Nothing. Nothing, really.
It's a clean hallway. It's the whole room for the
doors. Do you want to catch the special
room? Yeah.
Yeah, same plan as last time. It's gonna open.
We're gonna stand on either side in case the door is locked.
Find the key. How big is the space under the
door? Under the door, yeah.
Oh, I see what you're. I see what you're up to.
The space under the door. So this is the captain's special
room. He doesn't want anyone getting
in it. That door, that door is like,
slammed up against the floor. I see.
Like maybe maybe millimeters, if that can.
Can your eyes turn to Jello and, like, squeeze through the.
They wouldn't work if I tried. So do we think the guard might
have a key? Wait, I should ask, is there a
keyhole on this door? There's not.
There's not a keyhole on fat. No thank you for asking.
I will heard for that. So yeah, the door.
Please describe the door. It's a big, solid metallic door.
It's a captain special room and a little label on it.
It has a door handle, but not a lock pretty much.
There are ways to get into the doors if you have legally gotten
onto the ship. And you were given the thing
that gets you into those things. Can't get in by by normal or
magical means without a special access, I say.
This is kind of like a maintenance floor room.
So most of them are pretty well like unkempt and all that fun
stuff. But this particular door?
Absolutely. Well, I say we like see what's
in the other doors or? Just a quick so are we looking
for the captains that we're doing?
Yeah, clues. Our whole point of being here is
to collect the captain and bring him back.
OK, well then probably good to know what we had to work with
then. Yeah.
So I say we go look through some other rooms.
All right. So same plan.
When that one's interesting, yeah.
Question mark. Same plan.
Hiding on either side. Being ready to like to like
having a prepared. I have a prepared action of like
a fire bolt, sure. And then sending magic out Or
made hand out. Open up, man.
You can't. You're lit.
I was well, well loaded. These well well built.
OK, so we're in the question mark room, not locked.
But I need everyone as best as you can.
Whatever. You have to roll a D100.
Draco rolls A70A70. OK.
Oh, a 20. That's 20.
Laugh at me. What'd you get?
I. Roll A1.
A. 1. What?
I roll a 1D. 100 C Roll The one wish I could make this shit up,
OK? The door opens, All of you are
thrust into it. All three of you like.
Sucked into it, you're sucked into it like a vacuum.
Starting with Draco. Here's what you see, Draco.
You are suddenly transported into the past.
You are in your family's living room.
There is some kind of like religious meeting going on.
There is a dragon little blanket Cape around his neck.
He is a a preacher for the religion you grew up in, which
what is that religion? For me, yes.
It's called. We just Worship the Dragon God.
His name is Blanky. Yes, you worship the dragon God
of Blanky and this preacher is standing up there.
His name is is is is Joel Dragstein.
Joel Dragstein and he is reading from a pale flu book.
It looks to have like handwritten notes in it, and
you're just reliving this memory.
But something feels wrong about. It you remember this being a
happy memory, but in this moment you're feeling anxious, stressed
out. Something's going on there.
Walk me through that. Yes.
So I'm. I'm transported back to this
moment in my past. When I was young and I, we had
this religious home and we we we honored the God Blankie.
With devotionals every day and on special holidays, we would do
big pageants and big musical numbers to worship our God.
And as a child, I remember being very happy about this.
But there's always something that didn't feel quite right.
I had. This feeling that there's.
Knowledge is being kept for me in some way.
As you're remembering that feeling, you start looking
around. You see, like you know the faces
of your parents, your friends, your family, the preacher.
Their faces start melting. Those like the wall starts to
melt. It's getting hotter and hotter
and hotter than the room. Pushes you back out the door.
You're alone. Josette, what did you roll?
I rolled AT20I rolled 20. Josette, you are on another
ship. You are sailing on the ocean.
You are standing next to a beautiful woman.
Exactly your type. Oh, hello.
She's saying nothing. She's just staring out into the
sea. I don't know if you heard me.
Oh, hello. Her head slowly turns to you and
says what are you doing you later.
No, right now. What are you doing?
I feel like we're. I'm flirting.
Are you supposed to be here? Absolutely.
Is this what you wanted to do as much as you do I 0% for me?
Listen, this is a metaphor. I'm not really here.
Oh. She she slowly turns into like a
shadow creature and it's like listen man this only works like
you're freaked out by this may have seen worse may have done
worse. But it's it's all right.
We're OK, you know. You know, listen this whole room
is for like weird self reflection and like clearly you
you got I'm, you can go turn back around.
Just walked towards the poop deck.
OK, poop deck. All right.
So you start walking backwards and then you see Draco on his
ass, out the door and I just like gently land out there.
Like. I'm all stressed out, breathing
heavily for this scary memory I have So beautiful woman feel
like she really wanted me. Be sure you're the one I did.
Be sure you were in a microwave. What?
Oh no, you're in a different dimension.
You are currently in like a bowl.
You have no limbs. You are there.
There's like vegetables and broth floating in you and and a
large woman, and by large I mean compared to you like like you're
in a bowl of soup. So she's like a, you know,
regular 5 foot seven woman just putting you in a microwave and
like, you hear the door slam, you hear beeping outside and
then like a flash it is boiling hot inside of this room and
you're just experiencing it. And it's getting hotter and
hotter and hotter and hotter than the micro door opens.
He reaches and he pulls you out of the bowl.
There's a spoon coming into you be show.
You see a mouth open. It's your face in the spoon.
She doesn't see your face. She goes to eat you and then you
pop out of the door. I am, I am a BLOB.
I have. I have reverted.
To BLOB, and that's the question mark room.
What was that? Well, feels like a sex dungeon
to me, but perhaps something else for all each of us.
Is there anything we can do to help you?
I just start slowly putting myself back together, not do
that again. I like lend out a hand to like
try and help put you back together like slosh our fingers
like trying to mold. Me like jello or something.
Is this is this good? Does this help?
Yeah. All right.
Are you both helping? And I'm warm.
Yeah, touch now. Yeah, yeah.
I, like I take off my big leather belt to try to like wrap
around them and can you can you both roll for me to just roll
Dexterity just in general? No, not you.
You're the one being put back together.
Both of you rolled Dexterity. Oh.
My modified 1515. I got a 2.
That's like, you know what you're doing 1/2 of you.
My belt thing is not working. Yeah, Drake, you're like, like,
you know, little kids with their hands on a Mr. Potato Head and
put like eyes or the nose should be.
It's kind of what you're doing. I've got my head, I've got an
arm. My legs are there.
Yeah. I'm just putting myself back
together now, like how you feel the beach.
Little jostled. Yeah, that's the question Mark
room. Wow, don't like it?
Well, I feel like I could go in there all day.
What did you see in there? Well, just a beautiful woman on
a boat going to nowhere and she turned to me and she, well,
basically said that I wasn't supposed to be there.
Can I have your question mark room?
I got turned to soup. Sure, let's try turned into.
Soup. Well, that was startling.
Do we want to go see some more in this level or you want to try
to go up a level? No, I'm done.
Well done here. Just real quick, What were the
There's four that we haven't explored.
Oh, yeah, there's eight you haven't explored.
Oh, shit. There's the Brig, There's the
poop shoot. There's the Ji, see, There's the
crew Sleepy's. There's the Jimbo, There's the
Captain's special room that needs a key.
And there's the gas room. The gas room, gas room, and
there's also the staircase of what I'm curious about.
The JIC, JIC in the guest room, yeah.
Let's start. Let's see if we can find some
clues. I want to see if we can get some
handle of what we're dealing with.
So let's go to the gas room, to the gas room.
You open the gas room. I'm just going to make you open
it. Yeah, you know, mage hand, you
go in all the fun stuff. It's kind of like a cold room,
like on a regular steam shift. But instead of two buff sweaty
guys or shovels, you are immediately greeted by two
somehow sweaty licking autonomes.
Oh, sorry. And they are putting magical
energy into four tubes. And they look at you and go,
wait, wait, wait, hey Rose, what are you doing?
No gas. We were just wondering if you
could use some water or we can't leave the room.
Yeah, I know. Maybe you want something.
You know what we're doing. Maybe you want water while
you're here. I can't anyway.
I'm completely self-sufficient against my will.
By the way, we could make you unsail sufficient, but the boat
will fall out of the sky. Boat will fall out of the sky.
We don't do this. Everyone on the ship.
Fucking. Dies, you know, dies.
Falling. Two different things, but.
I do fall out of the ship. You're sinking shit.
Before I have well on my sinking ship, there was a beautiful
woman who looked at me in their face.
Yeah, whatever. Not everyone gets a beautiful
woman. Some people are mechanical
gnomes who can't fuck and have to do the magic, do the thing
with the tubes all day. Hey, which way to the stairs you
go out of this room and take an immediate right?
OK. Thanks.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Thank you. No problem.
See you later. Oh, by the way, what's the JIC?
The JIC? Oh, don't go in the JIC.
You don't even go in the wait. Who are you?
Oh, just your friendly neighborhood.
Got a little lost. Maintenance men and people.
Maintenance men. Maintenance people.
Thank you very much. OK, yes, we all deception 17.
OK, I didn't know that we had stopped by a place where we
could pick up more maintenance crew.
But sure, whatever. Yeah, there are ways to your
right. The JIC is is where they're
keeping all the just in case shit.
Ah perfect. Just in case what?
Just in case. Oh perfect.
Excellent. Shelly.
Let's go OK to the JIC all. Right, see ya.
So we leave the room, we close the door behind us and.
What? What?
What do things smell like in the gas room?
Is it like a like a whip that fruity?
Yeah, it's it's a magical multi colored gas.
They're blasting into the tubes that make the ship float.
And so it's kind of like like emanating to the hallway now.
Yeah, it smells like fruit and autonome.
Oh, OK well, that was interesting.
Let's go to the JICJIC. Some cool shit.
Oh yeah, but first, since you went into that room, it's time
for perception Roll. Ah, shoot, not one guard.
The guard falls over. He like turned around and looked
for something. What was that?
While he's prone, I want to just go over and like end his life.
Like make it says whatever worry do we do.
We. Are we killing people on this
mission or are we? That's up to you.
I'm not going to kill him. I'm not going to kill him.
Not a pacifist or anything. But sure, my whole shtick is I
literally like kicking people's asses, so this is right up my
alley. In fact, I am so, like, sneak up
on him while he's prone and just, like, put a knife in his
the back of his head. Eight.
Is his perception higher than eight.
Oh, good question. How would he not perceive a
knife going into his head? Well, me stealthing over a
perception is higher than an 8. OK.
So he knows that I'm coming for him.
Yeah. He like, here's your feet and,
like, looks up and goes, listen, my nose hurts real bad.
Just leave me alone for a second.
I won't, like, arrest you or anything, just like, whatever
right here. Well, do you have any keys or
anything on you that we could steal from you?
We we keep all the keys in a different room.
Which room? Thank you very much.
There's like two of them. 22 keys new.
Are they on this floor? Yeah.
What's the room called? Oh fuck, I just.
We'll leave you alone, we promise.
Just give us the answer. Can you, like, bribe me or
something? No.
Would you like to stay alive? Oh, yeah.
I guess that's OK. So some of the keys we keep in
the Brig and some of the keys we keep in the JIC in case we lose
the keys in the Brig. Excellent.
Perfect. All right.
Perfect. JIC.
Well, we probably won't need the ones in the Brig because they
have the ones in the JIC in case they lose the ones in the Brig.
Yeah, it's kind of a. It was kind of dependent on you
going in the break first, I guess that's all right.
We kind of figured. All right.
Well, thank you very much. Would you like to be made
unconscious just so it looks like you tried to?
No. I just want to rub my nose until
it stops hurting. Very well.
OK. You.
Oh, you're doing the question mark room.
I did. It was wonderful.
I was in the question mark room. All I saw was my mom exploding.
Oh, dear God. That was cool.
Oh, OK. Don't like her?
All right. Well, that's very spear.
And every other thing that you could possibly do today, she
named me Corn. Thank you, Colin.
So I decide to, like, tie him up.
Oh come. On man so so he can't like cause
havoc later on. So okay, I take off his what's
he wearing? A guards outfit.
You know 2. Kinds.
Or like a one piece sort of thing.
It's like a shirt and pants. Okay.
Cool. So I take off his shirt, tie his
hands behind his back with his strips of the shirt.
And he's. He's incapacitated.
Roll. Or trying to Bible Or sleight of
hand. Sleight of hand is good.
Can I help? He's doing it.
Let's let's let Michael roll. Yeah.
OK. Sorry.
He's got this. 18,000,000 you do it.
Look at that. All those days in the dragon
stocks, we're paying off. Yeah, you tie a beautiful knot
and not so beautiful. It's annoying.
It's actually done. I'm slightly annoyed that this
is like a for real dot. What the fuck?
Come on, man. Look at my God family.
I am an Eagle Scout. I do this very well in this
world. They're called Eric Cocker
scouts, actually, but that's cool.
Okay, I know I've succeeded at the ending.
When Jenny tells you, well, this is all going down, I'm going to
just throw my arm over to the JIC and slowly open the door.
Sure. Hell yeah.
So this is the Just in Case room.
The walls are lined with with weapons, magical items, other
things. Just in case that's it's called
the JIC like there there, there's keys in there and
they're kind of like organized. I say things like a Brig 2
stairwell and one that says Captain Secret room, I'm going.
To take the one for the stairwell and the captain's
secret room? Sure.
Great. Do you just keep things?
Are you? Is your character wearing
clothes? I have a bag.
You have a bag? Yeah.
I thought you might be, like, just sticking it, like in your
shoulder. I mean, I could, but that's not
sanitary. Sanitary.
Yeah, I could. I could.
I could get jaundice or something.
Jaundice. What color are you right now?
I am blue. You're blue.
OK so while B show is getting retrieving a key I'm I'm
thinking I want to see if there's any potions, anything I
can I can I can get a hold of it might be able to incapacitate.
The captain. Or maybe like some chloroform or
something along those lines and rolled insight.
OK, so Insight, what's my modifier?
There are some potions in there, but you're not a an alchemist.
OK, I got 1212. OK.
So you you recognize like some of the fans like you can
recognize your from your time in the fighting circuit as you know
some generic health potions, you can tell their health cuz
they're green. You see a potion that is blue.
So you can only assume that must like man a thing, restore a
spell slot for example. In D&D terms, I grabbed that
blue one and I swing one down immediately.
Get your one year, your first level spell slot back that's
restored, and then I guess as far as ones that you can
recognize, you also see kind of like a like a white liquidy of
potion that you recognize as like a sleep juice.
OK. Sleep juice.
I pick up the vial of sleep juice and put it in my leather
pouch. Great.
You have a sleep juice. Are there any other blue vials?
Just the one. It's a Just in Case room.
So they have like one of everything.
Just in case. I'll talk at that health potion
then there. Yep.
Do I see anything else useful? Yeah.
You get rolling inside for me? Yeah, absolutely.
And tell me what kind of things you want to look for.
I'm looking for things that might like, like smoke bombs,
stealthy things, stealthy things.
What's wrong? 15-O15 dude, this is your your
your tool and trade. Not only do you recognize
stealthy things, you know where to look for them.
So you're like, you like, you like walk up to like a big huge
fancy battle axe and like excuse me, you like move it out of the
way. There's a safe behind it.
You crack the safe. Inside of the safe there is like
a there's like a little like guards cloak in there is a
concealed knife that you can hide on your person.
Then that's behind the battle axis for yourself.
Items go and put on the guessing.
It goes on your wrist. Yeah.
It's it's Assassin's Creed.
Thank you. Thank you.
Listen, my reference is sometimes esoteric and sometimes
they're exactly what you think they are.
Put that thing on and I put on the guard cloak like the whole
the whole shebang. OK, great, Said there was
magical items in here. There are magical items in here.
Investigate to find out what's going on.
Why Certainly that's a six item 6 just.
Not in the mood today. You know, you don't really
recognize a lot of the items as magical.
There is one thing that kind of catches your attention and it
looks like a little Viking helmet.
You don't know what it does, but there's something about the
Viking helmet that compels you. Fuck it.
I'll take it. Congratulations.
You now have the helm of comprehending.
You can now also read the signs. Hey, I love that.
There you go. That's the JIC, all right.
That was. Successful.
We've got the key room, secret room key.
I think we could give it away. Yeah.
Let's go. Absolutely.
You open the door and you walk in and there is a human woman in
there. She is in a nightgown and she is
wide awake and sitting in bed, not really staring at anything
and she just kind of looks. She looks for loan and yet
optimistic. Good afternoon.
Captain, we're here to tidy the Oh, I'm not the captain.
Oh, well, why are you in the Captain's room?
I'm Well, that's that's kind of personal detail about me.
Interesting. I am.
Can you have persuasion? Yeah, 23.
Wow. She's like, wow, you are.
You haven't said anything particularly persuading, and yet
I look in your eyes and I just feel compelled to share my life
story, my name. I sit down on the bed next to
her and I feel like absolutely let's him oh, scoot a little
bit, for it's just a little bit further.
I I'm already in love. Oh no, not trying to seduce.
You oh, thank you. You would know I kind of
grimace. Towards Draco and just kind of
turn my ass and back legs into a chair and just kind of during
this whole conversation, I'm like sending out my main time to
like go through the drawers and see you're just finding
underwear and like other nightgowns and kind condoms and.
Draco was like. In the hallway.
Still kind of head around the corner looking into this room.
Yeah, I'm still tight up. Thanks.
Kind of feeling uncomfortable a little bit.
My name is Special Triangle. What a lovely name.
Thank you. I'm having an affair with the
captain. Are you married as well?
I am not married. The captain is married.
Well, then it's him who's having an affair with Well, I.
You're doing nothing wrong. I guess you're not right.
I'm the, the, the. Other woman, But it's a tragic
tale for you. See, I don't love the captain.
Well, the captain loves me, that's for sure.
But I have eyes for someone else.
I'm. I'm not available at the moment.
At least emotional. Oh, oh, got you.
Oh, yes, yes. Let me tell you, none of you are
my type, at least emotional. At least.
Emotionally, no. I have eyes for the captain's
wife. Oh, gasp.
I'm using. The captain to get to her,
hoping that me home wrecking them will lead to a
confrontation between she and I and I'll be able to make my move
interesting. This feels chaotic and I agree
with my friend actually, perhaps like a horrible plan.
It's my plan though and I am going with.
I wonder if we might be able to help you with this idea.
I would love that. Let's look around at there's
probably other things around. Maybe let's look around for
anything in the room that looks like it would give us like the
captain's wife's diary or something like that.
Oh, OK, yeah, yeah. Make a perception for whomever
wants they do. Invest.
Investigation. Yeah.
You investigation. I'll perceive he'll investigate
8. 8 OK, yeah, you're not, not, not really literary.
All of us are rolling tear of not many books in here.
A7 Wow. Even less.
Books than when you looked before.
Do you want to give it a shot? Stop taking the books
investigation. Or I'm 14.
I'm 14. OK.
So in there, I'll give you a little, a little thing with
what's in the room. You see for the first time a
picture of the captain. This human man was kind of
gruff, worn by the years. It's on her.
Eyes a little foggy corn. Cob Pipe, Big Hat, and he seems
to be looking out across what was once the ocean from where
you were on when on the ground stuff.
You know the man, the sea, my wonder.
Love is to see that's that is not the love of my life.
But he thinks I'm the love of his miss triangle.
What is the captain's name? We're new.
We're new to the ship and we're not sure his name.
Lovely name. His name is Captain Oman Oman
Oman and. What's his wife's name?
Lindsay. Lindsay Oman.
Thank you very much.
Excellent. Well, I feel like we could get
you with the captain's wife. I would love literally nothing
more. It's the whole reason I'm on the
ship. Do you think if the captain was?
Out of the picture, you'd have better chances.
It would depend on how how he became out of the picture, I
suppose. If he were to die heroically in
the sea, or I suppose on the astral plane, I imagine she'd be
inconsolable and would see companionship and may remarry
another captain because it's her type.
If he were to die, say, in the arms of a lover, better chance.
For me, what if he were to just disappear?
Oh, well, that would be. I hadn't considered disappearing
before. I suppose if he would disappear,
that would mean Lindsey would go looking for him, and perhaps she
would need a busty sidekick. Yes, we could solve.
Crimes together. I love this plan.
Okay. Well, I think we can.
Help you? We may be back down this way
later on and if we need some help would you be willing to?
Sure. Sure.
I'm. I'm very lovely if I've been
told. And yeah, I'll certainly I'll be
around. Is there anything that I can do
to help you achieve the disappearing of the captain?
I. That's right.
Do you know any of the captains? Like what would get some off?
What? Any proclivities?
Oh well, he loves the sea, that's for sure.
Can't stop talking about the damn sea.
There's no. More sea, right?
But see, they do. Astral Sea, the Astral Sea, the
regular sea, the letter C anything that carries his boat,
right? Yes, If he can, if he can put a
boat in it, he's all about it. He is very much so attached to
his profession and he uses the women in his life as a means to
ease the pressure of that. I would imagine here's a weak
spot for myself, possibly his wife.
Then those are the key things he speaks of with me.
We have a very specific relationship.
Does the captain have a favorite?
Type of drink that he regularly has on hand.
Oh, I frequently. So you can guess.
A captain's favorite drink. Run.
You got it. Is there any here any, like,
really nice run? His favorite here or on the ship
in the in the room? No, not in here.
No, no. I mainly keep my, my, my night.
He's here. Oh, this is the Captain's
special room. This is your room.
Just your not the captain's gorgeous.
Oh, now I understand. I don't know why that, didn't I?
I am the Captain's special room. Wait, are you just sitting in
this room all day long? Yeah, I chose this room.
But you don't leave. You don't go out.
I just wait for the captain. Usually.
It's part of my plan. I also love the sound of the
lower decks. Make all the creaking and the
groaning and the gods screaming. Are you allowed out of this
room? Yes.
Oh good. Alright.
No, no, no. I'm not a prisoner.
I know it was a lady locked in a room.
No, no, no. This is just so no one thinks
the captain's having an affair, right?
Otherwise I'm free. To go to other levels, have a
snack, Watch some television. All right, so there's.
Jimbo we can go see. You can also leave, Yeah, we.
Got we got some some some potions.
We got some information. I think we're ready to go to the
next level. That's great set up as we go
into the hallway, I look down the hallway and see the guard.
Yeah. What do you want?
Is he saying anything? Is he mumbling?
Anything Pissed off tight me up. Send me 10 down and I grab his
name tag. No man.
And I put it on the the outfit that I've that I'm wearing.
Great. You have a name tag that just
says corn. You assumed the identity of
corn. Oh man, that's my name.
No, it's my name now. You know, it's what I said.
Like, yeah, this is what you said.
Like, aw man, this is the third birthday of my life, OK?
Excellent. Let's go see the second worst
state of my lives when I was born.
The worst. My girlfriend broke up with me
two days ago and I'm, like, pissed off about it.
Oh, I'm so sorry. My name's fake.
Oh. Is your name fake?
No, we all names are. Well, I guess we need to come.
Is it corn with a C or corn with A?
K with a Q Oh yeah, that is sound made-up like corn.
Cool. I love this.
Thank. You cool whatever.
Welcome to level one, everyone. Those perception rolls, baby.
It's an 11. 11 OK, Draco gets 10 and 15.
You all lined up nice and even. Now you see 11 doors
alternating. One of the doors is a double
door. It's also a guard.
Here, but you have free reins to do whatever you need to do right
now. OK, so how is the guard?
Aware of us, the Guard is aware of you.
It's chilly. So the So the guard turns around
and he sees those. Ohh hey ohh, it's.
Alright, I'm just taking these guys over.
Ohh. Hey, Corn.
Hey. Yeah, You doing the math, man,
I'm so sad right now. Roll deception.
Hey, so sad. Hey, corn. 1414 go and you look
different. It's.
Just. I mean, heck, I did, you know,
like, my girlfriend broke up with me two days ago, So I think
I was telling you about it already.
Right? Kicking the teeth out.
I know. Yeah.
So like, yeah, it's one thing all day.
It's really annoying. Anyway, so I'm just taking these
guys. I'm too early, They're new to
ship, so. Oh, I'll do.
You do to us now. Yeah.
It's like it's, you know, wow, down on the bottom layers.
It was there. Who was at the bottom layer?
Will it start at the bottom? Work your way up, you know, I
guess that's true. Like the like so many of us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Show, show, show, show.
Anyway, what's your favorite door on this level?
More favorite door. Well, these are mostly guest
rooms, as you know. So you know from there, the yes,
you're the double doors. Interesting.
It's where we get all snacks from.
Snack door. Yeah, man, you guys, it's our
favorite snack. What's your favorite snack?
Because let's say it on 3123. Yeah, definitely beans.
Just like your name. Your name?
Beans. Yep.
Your name is Beans. Favorite guy on the ship.
Beans. Calling Beans.
Walking around. Yeah.
Getting in a sheep. Yeah, it's the shit.
Yeah, I'm born in the ship. You know what I mean?
What? What?
Anyway.
Turning. Yeah, yeah, I'm going to go
back. To the other side of the
hallway. If we get this whole
conversation. I'll see you later.
Good, good, good. See you there.
I have a sort the. Memory La La Nice guy, that
beans. There you go.
You now know. There's a kitchen and guest
rooms. All right, let's go to the
kitchen. Are you are you wearing the
horned helmet? Yeah.
OK. So as we walk down, we can see
what they can interpret doors are.
Alright, it's pretty straightforward.
These are unlike level 0. These are primarily guest rooms.
You see room 101102103104, Kitchen 1061071081.
I want to do like sort of a, like, you know, when people are
walking down the street checking to see if doors are like car
doors are easily stolen. I wanna subtly check the door
handles. You're very quickly noticed none
of them are locked. None of them are locked.
Yeah. Okay.
Just looking through making as one opens.
See what? Just the first one you run into.
Yeah. All right.
This is room 101. You open the door.
This is a single loxadon in this
room. That's an elephant person,
folks. And he barely fits.
Oh, my God. Just.
I'm just. Over there, just.
Scrunched up in there, he looks uncomfortable.
He feels most of the room. He's like, how are you?
I can't even make the nose down. I'm so small.
Just just security. Trying to make sure everything's
alright. Well, we we see your, your.
Have a tight squeeze in there. Can we get you something?
We're going to the kitchen. Do you want me bring something
back for you? I booked the wrong room.
What's your back story and your name?
OK, I booked the wrong room. My name is Dumbo's Mom.
I hate how big I am at this current moment.
You know what? You may feel big, but you look
great. Yeah, but I can't.
I I squeeze myself into this room when I booked the trip, and
I've been meaning to come out to do all the ship activities and
eat. I can't get out.
Oh, let's get you out right now. Should we help Tumbo's mom?
Yes. All right, all right.
Deserves love and ship stuff. Like, that's my first and last
name, by the way. Tumbo's, that's your first name.
Mom is your last name. So with the A/B show.
Then we can like like slide him up a little bit and like get
him. I was wondering, I don't know if
this is like a room, an exhaustible resource, or if you
like. I technically don't have a
finite amount of slime that's like a water spell, or I've got
some water spells I could. Is there anything wet in the
room that I could? It's like a hotel room.
You got plumbing, you got water, you got, you know, water.
I'm going to go ahead and use Shape Water to see if we can get
this guy moistened up. Enough to get.
Out of here? Great.
Describe what you do. I'm going to take some.
Water from the sink and just kind of like wave my hand around
and get it like kind of like behind his back and on his head
and arms and legs and try to just like, you know.
Push him out of the room using the force of the water.
OK, He definitely loosens up. He'll take one hand and I'll
take the other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got my. Little dragon arm.
I can do both of your little strength.
Yeah. It's a big elephant, man.
I'm strong. Big boy I am not, nor am I.
That's why I'm doing the water thing my my roles are.
Terrible 6 and a what? Nine.
OK, this is. Just annoying.
No, no. This hurts my arms.
And now I'm wet. Just close the door.
I'll just wait till we get to the new planet.
Whatever. It's so wait.
Do you have a map? Can you write something on the
map for me? I think the new planet should be
called Dumbo. Just enter it in for me.
I think it'd be really cool if something was named after me.
Sure. Thanks.
Just close the. Door and make me be.
It's fine. Well, we try.
You close the door. You're Oh my trunk.
We close the trunk in the door. Is that?
What happens this is like smacked against them at the edge
of it, like kind of like nudge his trunk back in or try to open
slimy trunk. That's room. 101, All right.
Well, that's. Just a big elephant, man.
I think we should go look at a few more.
But I think ultimately we should go to the kitchen.
And maybe there's like a bottle of rum in there maybe.
Or maybe some other things. I can.
I'm going to walk down and I'm going to swoop open every single
door. Wow.
They're all. So they're all ajar and I want
to go and I want to scan and see if there's anything that I think
looks useful and cool in any, well, opportunity.
Efficiency as perception. OK 1313 you can hear strange
noises coming out of the following rooms.
One O 6, one O 8 and 110 you very clearly hear noises.
And in room 1O3 you opened the jar a bit and you hear a voice
scream. The following I'm not trying to
murder the president. Then what are you doing?
Shut up, OK? President of what?
I'm not trying to. Murder the president.
I know. Which president are you not
trying to or whatever, the new planet.
I'm not trying to murder him. I believe it's going to be
called Dumbo. You should vote for that.
No, I don't want to be over Dumbo.
It's stupid. OK.
Right. Well, I want the planet to be
called Deluxe Entertainment. Oh, right.
We'll write that down. I always admitted it.
Oh, no. Yeah, put it down to it.
I'm not trying to kill him, though.
OK, Right off. That's good.
So what does this person? Look like it's a locatha?
That's a fish person. He looks like a herring.
Red is the color of him. Red.
Yeah, he's red. I have a feeling.
I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to do it.
Excellent. Yeah.
Good. Yeah.
Sounds like a great idea for
you. And I closed the door.
Did you guys? Want to tell that was?
A red herring. No, really a rewrite.
Let's try 1. More before we go to our
destination. Because the ones that made 6 and
10 are all making strange noises.
Yeah, strange noises. OK, so six, you open the door.
It's two goliaths. Fucking close the door.
Yeah. Describe more.
I open it back and. I'm like you know like when you
drives in a gravel like driveway when you're visiting your your
your great uncle in the boonies sounds like that.
OK, let's close that door. OK, close it.
All right. Take I write like, Oh no, Made
ten, didn't grab the Do Not Disturb yes.
Stick it on the door. Great, Great, great.
The kitchen. 180 just like quick check to see the other ones,
just to see if they're all right.
Yeah, yeah, 81082 different goliaths.
Fucking same process, actually. This one.
I put the put it, flip it over so that it's room service,
please. Awesome.
Do you want to check the other one?
Yeah, let's check the order. To Room 10 yet more Goliaths.
Well, this was different, OK? It's 1 Goliath and it's an
exceptionally tall elf. Fucking the exceptionally tall
elf makes eye contact with you and goes.
I've had better. What's your room number?
What? What?
What's your room number 110? I'm in the same room.
Oh, all right. Never mind.
But we just met. We booked the same room on
accident. I never fucking.
Well, have fun. Thank you.
Be safe. 3 rooms of people. Fucking.
Have you ever been on a cruise? It's all the kitchen.
Yeah, kitchen. I'm sufficiently disturbed for
the evening as you enter the things you can't Unsee.
As you enter the kitchen, you hear a loud shriek and the
smattering of pans, and as soon as you hear this, the room goes
pitch. Black most now.
Oh, luckily I have dark vision. It doesn't work on magic.
Choose whether it was not a slime Has dark vision, does it?
What is it? Magic.
Did they cast darkness? No.
It doesn't like completely black in here.
Nothing was cast. Oh, you can see in the dark,
Yeah. Do you?
See a like a place for a lamp. My turn.
I'm looking around your light switch somewhere.
Why don't you roll perception and find out that is a?
25 wow you. Smile.
How many eyes do you have? You You can see fucking
everything. Just the two.
Well, they turn into. You see the walls lined with
pans. You see the you see the the
floating chandeliers above you. Yep, chandeliers in the kitchen.
There, that swanky which has now gone completely dark.
Completely dark. All the candles went out
simultaneously, and you see a little tail sneaking out from
behind an oven. It's wagging.
Oh dear, take a long. Like, like like like a
cylindrical tail. Hairy.
Like a hairy tail. It's a furry tail, all right.
Sorry, it's not spotted. It's a Gray tail.
Would I be able to see what would have caused the lights to
go out? Yeah, the chandeliers being
dark, yes, but like, what would have caused that to happen?
You see all the candles are out. You don't see any, like,
interference with it. So it's like someone just blew
out all the candles simultaneous.
Is there anything we can we can light?
Do you see anything? Just.
The chandeliers above us. You're in a kitchen, so you have
the the oven. You have a stove, you see?
Hold my hand out. Point it at the things at the at
the chandeliers. Don't light them on fire.
I'm just going to point it right at the candle.
Let me, let me help you aim a little bit that just like adjust
your arm as to where it would be more or less.
And then I try and shoot fireball.
Great to try. And yeah, it works.
You you, you like all The Stranglers.
Hey, I'm not going to give you a DC to beat on that one.
This is just fucking worse. All the chandeliers are on.
So now you can all see like the the, the, the, the very feline
looking tail. This kind of like, like, it's
like like an oven situation, like a grill, say like being
pushed off against the wall and there's a tail peeking up from
behind that yank, that tail. Oh.
Sorry. Pull out a whole cat person.
It's a back seat. What am I hiding from?
Let's say a corat cat. Those little cute little Gray
ones. But like, person sized.
And she's like, what the fuck you bitch?
What the fuck, bitch? What are you doing?
Oh, I was. I'm the night chef and you
scared the fuck out of me. I'm a cat.
Because of the Night Chef, we don't do what was surprised is
not my tail. Why were the lights off?
Who Yanks the tail? I'm upset with you.
Who? Who?
Yanks who the? Fuck are you I?
Who the? Fuck are you understand why both
of you might be upset at the moment?
I have a right. This is my place.
I said. I understand.
Absolutely. Yank my tail.
Yes. Yes.
Why are you yanking people's tails?
I have nice security. I was curious.
If you had a tail, I would yank it down.
You know how cats promote when you're a wet person?
That's not nice thing. We don't say that.
Fine. You're a plasmoid for the PC
community. The plasmoid care community.
Anyway, I have a cat. I have a wet tail.
What the You want like a snack or something?
You just scared me, was all. We would love A snack.
God. OK, fine.
It's 5 gold pieces for the midnight snacks.
Sorry for yanking your tail. By the way, you made it wet.
Sorry for making it wet. Wet cat.
Sorry, I'm wondering, can I see where the snacks are held?
Like the midnight snacks I make? I have ingredients.
Do you have a menu? Fine.
She like opens a cabinet. She pulls like a similar place
mat. She hands it to.
You you see a pretty basic like you know, like you know you like
go on a cruise ship. You didn't pay for the deluxe
just and I got eating lobster or something, but it's still pretty
good like seafood type things. But it's like space feed.
So you so you like star crab, right?
Yes, star crab. You see like, yeah, you see let
you see sushi than in parentheses, but in space.
You. You you see, Surf and Turf at
Surf has been changed to Astral and Turf, so it's not the best
comparison. But hey, maybe I wasn't prepared
to give you a menu. Do they have any gold coins in
our inventory? Do we know?
Check. So I always.
Wear the signet ring. Which is from my wealthy uncle.
So glad I came. People, people, people.
Generally, you know, know who it is.
So I hold my secret ring out and I'm like, we'll put it on my
tab. I have uncle's tab.
Oh, OK Yeah. One for each.
Us. And let's put one for yourself
on that. Let's all get together.
I'm not a fan of my own cooking, but OK Oh, then let's make the
nice stuff. You know, I don't have to cost a
little extra. This is the first floor.
So, you know, I'll just make like, what?
What? What?
What do you want? You got near him.
Yeah, I might have some rum. So, like, opens a few cabinets.
Like, let's see, WWWWW. Shit, WWW.
Rum. Here we go.
All right, All the rum and three rounds of four.
One for yourself. Rounds of snack of snack of
midnight snack. What kind of snack?
Midnight snack for me, please. A midnight snack.
Oh, right. I forgot we have the menu.
Yes, I can make sandwiches out of the seafood chin.
Yeah. Astral Plane and turf.
Astral Plane and Turf. Anyone else?
Yeah. Sushi for me, please.
Sushi. I could go for a sandwich.
What kind of sandwich? The seafood one or space food
one, I guess. Put some fish in the sandwich
for the for the BLOB. Okay.
Sure. Hey, so she like, turns.
Around so they put the Little Chef hat so they lightning
speeds the the grill and throws you all a plate of exactly what
you ordered. Everyone roll the D8.
There we go. 7/7. You love it.
Delicious sandwich 6 for Graco. That's a pretty great sushi you
got there. Also yeah, you have a great time
down here with this little cat chef.
I pour a little bit of whiskey out for the the the little cat
Chef and and for my for us. Do you pour it on the floor?
I pour it into a little bowl. She's like, OK, I get shots.
Shots. They grabbed the whole bowl.
So, chef, your food was absolutely amazing, I'm sorry,
slushed. My name is Draco.
You have a shotgun. A whole.
Bowl of whiskey that worked. Immediately.
My name is Draco. Nice to meet you.
My name is. Cat, cat, cat the K or with the
C All right is. It short with Kate?
No, it's. Look at me.
Catherine. Maybe I'm OK.
My name is Kat Cora. OK, Cora, excellent.
Are you an Iron Chef? You betcha.
Fuck, I work on this ship. I wasn't supposed to drink that
much with. So cat, So your job is to serve
only people on this level, or do you say?
They come to the. Kitchen I make the food and then
they eat the food. I presume most of them shitted.
I don't know their bodies. But but you.
But you do. Is there a kitchen on each
level, or is this the main kitchen for the whole ship?
This is the main kitchen. For the whole ship.
But after midnight, I only focused on this level.
Let's take a little curk because the other they got like a dining
hall and they can get the stuff for the dining hall.
But once everyone's asleep, I just make the little midnight
snacks. Oh.
Well, you're doing a very. Great job I don't think I can
make. Anymore though, how come?
She she just got slogged. So drunk.
This is bad. I might get fired.
Well then, Cat, we're just going to take all the run.
Sounds good. Sure.
What do I fucking care? That's not like a butt ton of
run. That's the last one for today.
But then tomorrow they'll be more because the Wizards put it
there or whatever. I guess I don't fucking pay
attention. Like reach into the fridge and
pulls out a beer bottle, say as long as she's here, right?
Yeah. It's like I'm already this far
gone. All right, Cat.
I think we're going to make our way.
I have nothing more to offer. I think it.
Thank you for the snack, it was excellent.
Well. Where are you all going
upstairs? You know, we're just looking for
the. Captain Charlie, you got you got
level 2 access? Not yet.
Sucks to suck. I have level 2 access.
And I pick her up and I take, I take the the Level 2 access roll
side of hand 21. Jesus Christ, OK, She just lets
it happen. She's like like kind of
haphazardly swipes at you like, whatever.
Just kind of long cats it, yeah. And then and then I like shake,
shake. The cat, so that.
We could do the little. Sway thing.
Have you guys seen that this is so?
Demeaning I. Am a person.
I can vote I did vote I. Didn't vote for the president
right now. Oh, by the way, what What's the
name of the? What name do you want for the
president? But, oh, what do if I want to
call the planet? Yeah, the planet I want to call.
OK, We're actually voting for Dumbo.
All of us. Oh, you talked to the elephant
guy. He keeps, like, yelling from his
room. Peanuts, please.
And that's beneath me. Oh, he's starving.
Oh, we don't have. Do you have peanuts?
Maybe. She like looks.
Peanut butter perhaps? Oh, I do have peanut butter.
I think A. Great Rum and peanut butter
cocktail. OK, you know what?
Pass. Pass us a bunch of peanut
butter, please. Can you put me down?
Yes, absolutely put cat. Back like it?
Scrounges around in her fridge and she pulls up like a
ridiculous tub of peanut butter. OK, so here's the recipe, right?
You take the peanut butter, you pour a whole bottle of rum in
it, and you just drink it. It's a great idea.
Yeah, then. Level 2 access now, is it like a
card or a key or what is it? It's a card.
Okay. So I would say, let's drop off
the peanut butter. Let's do it.
Keep a little, just in case the Captain's allergic and done so
Draco picks up this giant thing and.
He's struggling even though he's gigantic.
I roll that strength. You're gonna just.
Write it that way. Roll strength.
Ooh twenty baby. They always struggling my.
You've got it. You're just trying to be humble.
You carry that like it's no problem, all right?
You're like one of those Scottish games guys carrying a
big rock. Okay.
Cool. So I carry this big old thing
down the hallway and use my foot to open the door.
And what do I see? An elephant person.
Like, what's his current status? Like he goes pretty.
It's the same as last time I. Guess you open the door and you
see him, you know, lodged in there and he's like, oh, hello.
What was the voice is hello again, But I didn't catch your
chord, Dumbo's mom. Oh, Dumbo's mom, Right.
OK. I'm sorry, I forgot.
Yeah, OK. Dumbo's mom.
We got something for you. My hands.
Why does everyone call me my full name?
It's. Dumbos.
I have a first name Dumbos is it possess.
My first name is Dumbo's. DU MB OS my last name is Mom.
Mr. Mom, That's my name. Name.
We brought something for you. I set this dish, the giant tub
of pee butter in front of him like shoves his trunk in it.
And stops talking. All right, so I close the door,
leave the room, and close the door behind me.
Great. And then shall we move up to?
Level 2 Great. Welcome to level two.
Once again, I'll. Do too much of A kerfuffle here,
You got past it. OK, Level 2 much fancier
hallway. Looks like the Monte Carlo up in
here. There's 8 rooms.
With fancier doors and you've seen thus far made of a
different material and this one has a room with triple doors on
it and the final room is a room that looks like it has a little
glass windows on the top of that.
Kind of peering out. Yeah.
I I up the stakes from the previous that's what I did.
Double doors and got triple doors.
Bitch. I was trying to think of the
logistics and how that would work.
It's imaginable shit. Fuck off.
All right. Do we Do we perceive any, any
guards? Let's see if they perceive you
because there's. Always a guard.
Nope. There, there, There's there's a
much bigger sterner looking guard on this floor.
He's wearing like a little red uniform.
It's a lot different than the previous two guards.
They have like a clear like guard outfit.
This guy looks like he's like trained for something, but he
doesn't notice you right now. Well, I've still got my.
Corn. Corn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Corn.
You need a little cloak in your dagger.
So. Do these doors have we see any
writing on? Yeah, similar thing you see.
Writing on them, two of three of you can read them, you know, you
see your usual, yeah, you don't have the helmet reading
everything allowed to. Yeah.
So you can read a few things on there, like Kat mentioned, the
dining halls on this floor. And you also see that that's the
triple door, by the way. And there is a room that reads
the pool. And then of course you have
rooms 201 through 208. What do you think?
Should we go look at a check a quick?
Check of one of the the closed doors to see if these ones are
unlocked as well. Oh yeah.
Let's take a look. At See if I locked any of them.
Nope. OK, cool.
This is a very trusting community that they all know
each other from the same plan. Same process as before.
Run and open all the doors. What do we say?
It's fucking 1:00 AM and we're. Causing havoc, you're.
Not being stealthy whatsoever. You got a.
Role investigate that. What did I have you can do last
time? Investigation, yeah. 20. 21 OK,
so then you there's a few more noticeable things.
Once again, you hear noises out of rooms. 205 and does it sound
like? Possible.
Maybe. One of them.
Does OK. Maybe the other one sounds
different and you? Can kind of get a sense that
this is a very restless room, like no one's sleeping currently
on this floor. You hear music, you hear noises,
you hear chatter, you hear chit chats coming out of all the
rooms. Nothing seeps out of any door
either. Nothing comes out of the doors
and you open them and no one screams.
Let's go look into it on where the sounds we're having.
You're a dirty breaker. Yes.
I have had many years of my life of being very shut in with these
sorts of things. I'm learning lots about the
world. It's got some sexual repression
going on. It's OK.
Thank you. I don't know if I have.
Genitals But sure, you can make some, that's true.
I'm going to choose your own genitals.
Welcome to room 205. You open the door and you see a
snake playing a saxophone. Oh yes, is your name Sammy?
You like pull? You like uncoiled it?
No. My name's Slip.
Nice to meet you, Slip. What's up?
Some light jazz? No.
Better time to play jazz. And then one of the morning,
baby. Is that an Alto sax?
Nah, this is a tenor. Oh, tenor.
Yeah, my Alto sax is in a. Different suitcase.
I'm trying to think of a fantasy about the suitcase, but couldn't
think of 1. Drunk, I guess.
It's in a different. Pace, along with all my other
horny instruments. Hey, you know your neighbors at
all. Hey, I know a few of my
neighbors here. I think to me immediate left.
There's a little little floating gals in the middle of the
fucking room. Immediately to my right there's
an old soldier that. Old soldiers, probably.
Not a good idea to. Go.
He's not that. Bad, but he thinks he is.
You know, the old soldiers played.
He like plays a latoon in his saxophone.
Do you have access to the third floor?
Nah, Daddy, I just slip here. I'm a regular guest.
They told me I can go from any room between 1:00 and also two.
I am right now. Do you ever?
Do you ever see the captain down here on this level?
And he goes down to the level one, and then I don't know what
happens up to that he goes down to level 0.
Ah, sometimes he comes down. Hey, we all go to level 0.
So, well, Slick was a pleasure meeting you.
Pleasure meeting you, daddy. Tenor saxophone playing.
Why, thank you. This is a little.
Diddy, I'll let you call. I met three people today.
Play it loud, man. He does.
That's Slip Okay. Great.
I didn't say his last name, but it's Daddy Slip, Daddy.
I love him. I'm pretty sure.
You did quick check of the. Other grimy ones Two O 8, yeah.
You're not gonna. Believe it, Joel.
It's 3 Goliath oh. All three of them make direct.
Eye contact with all three of you and go.
We've all had better. Are all of you?
Staying in this room or are you guys all to do meet up?
Well, I'm in room 208. I'm in room 208 and.
I. Hid in the suitcase.
Well done. It's a.
Big One. Big suitcase.
Big. I look around and see the
suitcase. Yeah, it's like empty, but it's
like the size of like the bed. It smells off.
I grab a really, really big Do not Disturb sign from there,
lean it against the door. You see that?
You see the third Goliath walk out and knock it over.
And then they take a big sharpie and right and cross out knot and
then close the door. Disturb dining hall.
Throw a stick at it. Let's go to the triple door.
The triple door. OK, I have in.
Detail the triple doors and their.
OK, OK. So left door, right, got a
little like handle in the center, right door right, little
little handle in the left center.
Middle door saloon doors. But so like the saloon doors
open and then the other two doors open at the same time.
Yeah, it's like, it's like you're opening isn't that four
saloon doors, but the middle, just like.
Like a doggie door a little. Little.
Doggie door. You push it up, you.
Still go through. The as you fly, shut up.
Alright, it's making. Me improv.
My own Your own show. Comprehensible door.
It's a. Magical door.
Three of them. You can go in, in, let's go in.
What do we see? It's completely empty but.
It has not been cleaned. There is a plasmoid in this room
who seems to be kind of like, you know, pushing the trash can,
putting things in the trash, grabbing the little food things,
putting it into the body is kind of floating in there.
Little pizza crust here and there.
Little like, like what used to be Fabrice, not Fabrice.
What am I thinking of? Fancy eggs?
Yeah. You know, just like he.
Upper middle class food stuff. I use my mouth usually, but
sometimes. Yeah, he doesn't notice.
He's got the headphones on, OK, but this is only only creature.
We see only creature in there. Like the headphones you like
jiggling his head as he goes along from a little sandwich,
going through a little plasma, paying very close attention to
the the waves. They walk up behind them and I
want to see if it's got like a card on it that has like access
to them, so you don't see anything like that.
But you know he is there. You don't notice a key on him,
is what I'm saying. So I think we should talk to
this person. So I reach out my little hand
claw and like try to like touch his shoulder he likes stops the
finger. Like starts to kind of go into
the body, but I pull back he like.
Stops in his tracks slowly. Takes his headphones.
Off turns and says hello. Hello.
How's your shift going So far I cleaning.
I clean, I cleaned. The dining room is very messy.
Yes, I see that. So I'm making.
It clean now. Well, it's looking great.
I've seen what you've the parts you've cleaned.
Oh, by the way, my name is Jacob.
It looks nice. Thank you.
Is my.
Yes, I am Jan. Jan Jan Etor call me.
Yeah. I will call you Josette, since
it's your name. Mr. Etor.
Mr. Etor is my name. Well, not Mr. I'm kind of
fluids. Oh, yes.
As most past my dog, Hello, hello, Denver.
In Denver, in Denver, in Good to see you like.
Goes to like. Shake your hand.
I shake also and just kind of like share fluids briefly.
Fuse right, Fuse well. Seems very intimate.
Were you looking for foods? We were looking to get up to?
The higher than the third floor. Oh, you would need to have the
special access to go for the floor.
Did you buy? Special access.
Yes. Well, my my uncle.
Did you see this? But did you buy access to go
through one? Do you have pests?
I don't have the past. I lost my.
So you didn't go? No, no, no.
I lost my path. You can't lose it.
How do you not lose it? Go in body.
Oh, it's in your body. You'd have to, like, peel it
out. You see, I am scared of needles.
Oh, then you don't have pests, Right?
Right. But I should have the past.
They said that, but you don't. But I don't.
So you don't have pass because you did not put in needle.
Exactly. So you don't have pass.
I don't have a pass. So you didn't pay for pass.
I did pay for. But if you pay for pass, you see
dilemma here. I do see with the information
you've given me either A you liar or B you did not buy pass.
Do you have a pass? I have pass.
Where is your pass? It's in me.
In where? Look at me.
I am a fool of the beings. I put my handprint on the past
door. I go in.
I'm a genitor. I have to it everywhere.
Would any plasmoid hand? Prints work.
No, only mine. Unless plasmoid about 33 access.
I have a question for my friend. Would you and I put the
headphones back on their head? He takes them back up.
No, no, no, no, no. No.
No, we don't. Don't.
Do you? Exiting conversation with me.
Totally right. Do you?
Take can. You, now that you've shaken
their hands, do. You already have their hand
print on your hand. Yeah, no.
See Plasmoids we don't really have fingerprint.
Because due to lack of flesh. But you said right hand print.
Yeah, but to recognize passion. Oh, in your hand.
Yeah. He's distracted by this back and
forth in his hand. Yeah.
Needles could I like try to
shape water to get. The pass out of him.
Oh, that's fun. Yeah, you can try.
Sure. How?
I'll stealth it, see if I can
get the. Out of him by just.
Slurping it, I suppose. OK.
That is a 19 and 19. So you're shaping the water and
as you're doing it, you can very obviously see what the past
looks like. Now there's a beeping green
thing. It was kind of behind his shirt,
but now it's like kind of closer to where a neck would be, like
moved it up there. It won't leave though.
Oh, it's not getting out of him. It's just moving around and only
in him. Correct.
Is we going to murder? Hobo it.
Could we? Should we just talk?
So Draco's feeling kind of impatient with this person, kind
of an irritating personality, like I'm not really getting
advised with the GN and so. I'm kind of impatient, hopefully
hard. So I just decide to take my
sword and swing it at the the beeping thing under it.
Aim under. It but like, are you aiming to
hurt or aiming to spook? I'm aiming to like push the.
My goal is to push this little. Chip or whatever it is out of
the gelatinous body and retrieve it so we can use it ourselves.
And I'm wondering if I can do that without injuring him
killing this. Well, I can guarantee you.
That would make him lose hit points.
If you do this, yeah, it'll hurt him if you can pass your attack
roll. So yeah, roll for attack and
we'll see if it beats a janitor's A/C.
Which maybe, yeah, it would be most of the ones.
A/C roll for damage 9. Nine.
Damn, it's a. Janitor he goes, oh, he's OK.
So what you do, you heard him like water splashes across the
floor and kind of like how blood would, but it's water and but
you still see the beeping mechanism in his neck.
He did not dislodge it. He was No, no, no.
Hey, what we're not going to do is bullshit.
And then he like stretches. His arms around you and it's
going to try and put you in a grapple. 18 So I lose the
grapple, man, you lose the. Grapple so we say, got you like
wrapped up. You can't like, use your weapons
anymore. And let's say the two of you
goes, Are you trying to steal excess to higher floors?
Well, I wouldn't say that. I would say that my uncle bought
me access and I talk to you. Are you trying to?
Steal upper. Action as he's saying this to
them and I feel like throws water in your eyes.
I'm talking to plus my friend then Dendrin.
Are you trying to steal me? Excess me.
Know him?
Yes. Why need to get up there?
For what? Reasons we're going to talk to
the captain for. Why do you like the captain?
I he pay like him enough. The only way you can get thing
from me is for me to be quit. Maybe fired or maybe murdered.
Comprende. So.
So if you murder me, then you're going to be in big trouble
because I'll be dead person. I want a new job.
No. You've done a.
Really. Good job here, and my uncle is
hiring on the new planet, by the way.
It's the only way I can lose my excess is by quitting.
I know I'm going to get you to quit right now because I'm going
to give you so much more money in this new job, but you have to
quit and just clean my room. So I would have same job but
different rooms. Same job, smaller space, but I'd
have to quit. Better money benefits, benefits.
Low Persuasion, 2424. Wow.
Persuasion is 6. Wow.
OK. So that is not that gig really
good, really, really good gig and you've seen.
The Insignia? You know my uncle.
No, not personally. Yeah, well, I do.
At least. I'm not upper class person,
right? Right.
But okay. So I would need to quit job,
quit being janitor for horseship, Be janitor for a rude
person who tried to rob me. And I haven't tried to rob you,
my friend. Did.
You did. I saw you behind me.
I went around. You did?
Not something you should do to your new boss.
Whatever. You already offered me job so do
I have or no. Yeah you have.
OK, hang on. Let me make let I can't make a
phone call. This is D&D.
Let let me hold on. He like goes into a trance.
If you cast message that's the thing you can do.
Goes into a trance. He like you hear like the the
call waiting music like like dial up.
Dial up for a computer. Fuck you.
And then he goes, OK, good job. Now give.
And then. Then the the device falls out of
him. I catch it.
Raul, Dex, you catch it. We'll see about that 14.
You catch it and I pass it to you.
To stick in your hand if you want slurp, great.
Congratulations, you have Level 3 access.
What now? Oh, now that we've got Level 3
access. We got a guard to sneak pass and
get up to Level 3. You sure do.
In that guard you just left the dining roll, so hear him and
goes. I missed again.
Doesn't notice you despite you slashing a person.
Well, he wouldn't have heard that as.
Behind closed 3 doors, I shot back into the room.
I say I I'm in a room. Garage.
Downstairs. He goes.
OK, is you're supposed to clean it now you're hired.
Oh, right. OK.
Here I go. He likes throws out of the
Rubens. That kind of goes down a storm
drain. You sleeping like that?
Yeah, but it's demeaning. All right, never mind.
Sorry. You hear a voice in the storm
drain. He's not beneath Janitor.
You will think better than me. No, I just like to walk.
Whatever. All right.
You have Level 3 access. There's a a closed door at the
end of the hallway, Telly all. Right to the closed door at the
end of the hallway. Which one of you has it?
Put your hand up against that door, baby.
It opens like a Star Trek door. It's getting fancier the higher
you go up. Welcome to Level 3.
Oh my God. This is the lobby of the
Titanic. It's beautiful, well lit, even
though it's the middle of the night.
I thought it was the Britanic too.
It is, but you need a reference. You you haven't seen the inside
of the Britanic. No one has at the bottom of the
ocean. Yeah, there are six guest rooms.
A door that is glowing. K it's a glowing green door and
a ballroom. So I think we've.
We should go to this closest door and see what's inside that
closest door. I like it.
Is that room 301? Or so you open it, and there is
a a, a, a human woman in this room as well.
Older. She looks like she's she's like
casting something in between her hands, and she's murmuring
something under her breath. It sounds like she's making a
spell, doesn't notice you walk in.
Do I recognize what it is that she's doing?
You don't. It looks like she's like kind of
like crafting an orb, but she's not like touching anything, and
there seems to be like a faint image inside of it.
And they and like her. Fingers are bigger than around
that She's pulling, she's pushing, she's prodding, she's
poking, but she's not making contact with the orb.
You can see like crazy things. Can you see what's see what's in
there? I could make an Arcana check, I
guess. Sure.
Yeah. Go for it.
It's a five. I've got nothing.
Five. It's blue.
I could never seen it's a blue
orb. Never seen it be like it 22 you
you think it's gold? Is it blue or gold?
Right. Blue and white.
Golden. Yeah, you have a you have a
color disagreement about what the orb is.
Well, the right lighting Rollercona.
I may as well try in our con of chick too.
Girl Draco mouth stuff rolling in our con of.
Losing his thing as. We all do.
When we reach out to my role is a nine.
A nine. Well, you can confirm that's a
blue orb. All right.
I want to see. Look around the room to see if
there's anything else that like sort of gives us information
perception. Damn. 55 You you.
You see shells that look kind of empty.
You you see things you don't recognize.
You're you're an Arcane Trickster for sure, but like,
she's doing stuff in here that you don't immediately recognize,
so you have to assume they're magical ingredients, but you
don't know for sure. Do we want to interact?
With this person. Talk to them.
I'm OK. I feel like let's like be
prepped just in case she does something crazy and then we'll
send Made's handout. You don't want to.
I feel like something might explode if we try to interrupt
her feel. Like, that's cool.
Yeah, that kind of sounds like. Okay, be ready.
If you're worried. Maybe hide behind the couch in a
bowl or something. You could.
You're the traumatic, you're Spearing to the bowl.
It'll be sorry, did the woman? Taking you.
Out of the the microwave look like her.
I don't want to talk about it. OK, so I standing back I send
mage hand out to tap on her shoulder.
She doesn't feel it. No, I like really tap her on the
shoulder. She feels it.
She turned on the Hello. Hello.
How are you man? I'm very well.
How are you up to Mr. Security checkouts.
Mr. Corn. Mr. Cohen.
Mr. Officer Cohen. I don't believe you.
I I. Know Mr. Cohen only patrols
level zero. Yeah, that's true.
But Mr. Cohen, no, no, no. I see all young men.
Do you see where the captain is? I almost see.
All young men, I would assume he's steering the ship, being a
captain and all. If you see almost all, can you
tell us the spaces that you don't see?
Yes. But I won't.
That doesn't seem pertinent. And oh God, imagine having to
make that up on the spot. What?
What are you doing this? Something very funny.
I guess you'll just have to see later what I'm doing.
Like when later. Maybe later.
Later. Maybe down this hallway.
Maybe you'll never see it. Who know?
Wanna look over and see? Like we can see a faint image in
the ball, Right? You can see a faint.
Image in the ball standing up closer to it can I see you can
make an Arkana check but with advantage this time either 16.
Or 16 well, the options inside. The ball.
You can see what looks like people dancing ballroom in a
ball. Yeah, so she's like, controlling
the. Dance room, maybe ballroom.
So you don't want to tell us, but we can see that it's a
ballroom. Yes, it's in the ball.
Do you wish that you could go to the ball?
No, no, no, no. I'm doing is so much better.
What are you doing? Old It's a secret.
OK, I believe it. And then I stand.
I like stand and look really buff.
And I say, you want to tell me what's in that ball?
Oh, you're trying to intimidate me.
Sure am. All for intimidation.
This is getting very, very meta, very quickly.
Man. I'm terrified 7.
I see through you, young man. I see everything.
You get leg day a lot. I wasn't fumbled by the Pretty
Woman with the disappearing face, but this is really getting
to me. It's a funny thing I'm doing.
It's a funny, funny thing, but I'll never tell because it'll
break the. Spell and if I break the spell
it won't be funny. So do you.
Do you work on the ship? No, I'm a guest.
I have my own room and you're just having fun here.
I. Have a great ass time.
Oh, great. We're so rude.
We just walked into your room, interrupted you.
I'm sorry, I just. I'm very intrigued by what
you're doing. Yes, I may.
Would be what kind of? Sorcerers, are you?
What is your background? I'm a silly one.
I like to dabble in little jokes
here and there, things that are very amusing to me but not so
much to. Others, if you're catching my
drift like a prankster. Yeah, it's like a prankster.
What's your name, Prankster? My name is Danielle Radcliffe.
Danielle. Danielle.
Radcliffe. Danielle Radcliffe, Beautiful.
Thank you, Danielle. As in a Cliff.
Rats run off of. Is that what's about?
To happen in the do, wouldn't that be fine?
She puts a little like little pinch of something into the
ball. Oh, oh shit.
OK, we back to deadly a situation.
Walk in. Everyone is running off of the
Cliff. You know what?
Maybe we should come back to you, my friend.
Yes, maybe you should. Or maybe you won't.
Whatever you do. Hopefully it won't require much
squatting. Oh, me.
Oh, because you skipped leg dead many times.
You're right, You're not wrong. Just wish.
I usually wear a tunic so nobody can see.
Oh, I know how. Many regrets, but let.
Me tell you they can see. Oh damn, you've got the little
little legs. Is there anything we can do for
you? Danielle oh, I'm having a great
time with a little bit of this is whatever that's in this
conversation if you're looking For more information.
What I've given you, I fear I just have.
The orb. Can we take the orb?
Can I? No, it's not corporeal.
See. She puts a whole hand.
Through it and then takes it back out.
Shall we? I put my hands right.
It burns a little bit. It's gonna make the magic.
The other doors. That's cool.
Yeah. All right back.
The door across the way, Across the way.
OK, that was a weird one. Across the way, room 302.
OK, you walk in another woman alone in the room, many of these
that I put in here and you find them all immediately like once
the door friend, and be like hello.
There. She's in bed.
And she's reading what appears to be a letter and weeping to
herself. So she make this big old gesture
and she's like, ma'am, this is Officer Corn.
We've just been going. Not supposed to be on this floor
Corn. I know, I know.
Like everyone if somebody's sick day.
No, it's not. It's one of the morning.
Who are you, An officer? I'm not.
Corn. No, you know.
I'm the captain's wife. I know everyone on the ship.
It's Lindsay. Lindsay.
Yes. I don't even know my name.
Not corn. I'm so distraught.
We having happened. I got a.
Letter from what? From my husband.
From what I have a. Letter from my husband stating
that he's sorry but he can't come back to my room tonight, he
sent me. The same letter yesterday and
the night before. He keeps taking the night shift
and I'm just. I just miss him, you know?
I would miss. Him too.
Do you think why if I? Would love my husband.
I mean what? Would you do if I did?
Love your husband? Be very upset with you?
With me? Yes.
It wouldn't increase my chances of getting with you.
If I love your husband, why would that?
Just, you know, just to if you specifically were in love with
my husband, I would, I would think you were having an affair
with him and I would not appreciate that.
Very much right. Do you think your?
Husband is having an affair with somebody right now or think he's
just busy at work. I worry.
I worry that he is who takes the night shift that many times in a
row on purpose. There are other people who can
steer a spell jammer cruise liner.
Is he normally here right now, like or like, is this the shift
that he's taking? That's the night shift in the
early parts of the voyage? Yeah, he would be here with me
and he would be like the main shift captain, but I guess one
of them got sicker or something, I don't know.
Usually his first mate or a second mate where the third mate
or the 4th mate or the 5th mate or the 7th mate or the 8th mate
would take over. For the night shift duties.
But lately it's been him. Well, the captain's job is very
serious, I guess. I know I chose this life and I
chose to marry a shift captain. God bless me.
But I just. I just wish it wasn't like this.
What if there was someone who loved you?
Who didn't love the sea more than you?
Or the night shift. Or the.
Night shift. I don't want to think about
that. I just.
I would prefer my husband. At the moment I I'm not so that
I get a little bit more teary at again is that I don't want to
start over. Cuz when you've been to someone
for a few years, the thought of, like, dating and getting to know
a person just sounds so exhausting.
Yeah, it sure does. Like my God, when we first
started dating I didn't know my left and my right shows my
thumbs are backwards. So the L trick didn't work for
me and. He had to teach me that, and I
couldn't imagine telling a new person that I was trying to get
with romantically that my thumbs were backwards.
They're not gonna get it like he was.
What if they already knew? What if they already?
Loved you and knew everything about you.
You didn't have to. You're a real buzzkill, you know
that? Me, me.
I'm sitting here pining my my, my missing husband and I have
backwards thumbs and and think the long and short of it is, is
that you want to be wanted, right?
Yeah, I do. It would be nice if he wasn't
taking every possible opportunity to drive a ship.
Anyway, I feel like we got ahead of something.
Who are you? Because they're not corn.
Would you? Believe beans when I call them,
which is the name. She like this like kind of
blinks at you and it was like Draco.
Who are you? Oh, hello.
My name is. Draco and I'm just new to the
ship and looking around. You know people, you've been
here for a while and I just want to know people I'm around.
Do you? Sure.
Learn a lot about me all at once, I suppose, yeah.
I'm having a faith crisis, you learn.
I'll tell you that about myself. Oh, and you are so you're fairly
a dragon of some kind. Yes.
Is there a dragon God that? Yes.
Yes, his name is his. Name is blankey.
Oh, I'm familiar. With yes.
Oh, you are? Yeah, I I went to, I went to a
very fancy, rich person school and you know.
They I took a few theology classes, you know, I know a
little bit of Druidic. I know a little bit of like
studies. I know a little bit of the
dragon culture. Yeah.
What is your belief system? Well, you know, my husband
believes in the sea, so he worships the sea.
And I I I'm a little like agnostic.
I dabble here and there with their things.
I committed to anything. Just, you know, just hedging my
bet with every possible God, if you will.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, and and.
Like what? What are things that you love?
Do you? I mean your identity is not.
My husband, she says. Kind.
Of Pat, you on the back? Like I like boats, OK?
OK, just everyone. I feel like you're not new to
the ship. You're definitely not a guard.
You've been very quiet. I don't know you very well.
Just tell me what you actually want.
We want to meet the. Captain, for what reason?
Well, you know the. Leader of the ship.
It's exciting to meet someone who's kind of important and kind
of famous. We want to.
Find out what's. Going on and why it's taking the
night shift so often. You're also concerned about this
because, like if. He's not on the day shift, then
what's going on there? OK.
Real deception, the 13. I would be interested in knowing
why he is doing that. As you've seen, we can
impersonate many people. I'm wondering if I to be fair, I
have not seen that so far. You you sure have tried, but you
were forcing because I knew the people you were impersonating.
I'm wondering if you might be interested in the US finding out
for you why he's on the. Shift to visit I suppose you
would need to be able to get to the officer or executive force.
Though I would have a feeling that that would be in this room.
Well, I I I have access because I'm the the captain's wife.
I'm just trying not to bother him at work too badly.
But I suppose if you're investigating, I would like to
know Okay. Absolutely Okay.
Let's borrow your. Access just for a little bit so
we can find out. Here's.
What you need to do listen very carefully because you're going
to leave this room and the guard is likely going to hear you what
you need. To do is you're going to take
this and say it takes your shoe off.
And she. Like reaches like into the back
of the shoe, and she. Hands you a very teeny.
Tiny looking plastic chip. This is the officer and
executive floor access. I don't know where he currently
is in the next floor, but this will get you into those rooms,
this kind of. Orbit, I suppose.
Oh my. OK.
You have to find. My husband.
And corner him and bring me back the information.
Absolutely got it absolutely done if you.
Don't I will stick. Every guard here on you.
OK, Which room is that? That they're trying to get this
information? It's the next floor up.
There's an executive floor and an officer's floor.
He has access to both. So again, I don't know if he's
steering the ship normally he's on the bridge, but he could be
in either room. That's what I'm getting at.
All right, shall we, Michelle? So do you have a?
Nice rum in here. Just in case we know it's his
favorite. I'm sober.
All right. Good for you.
Thank you. All right, there you go.
You now have access to the executive and officer suites.
Yeah. Floating around in your body.
It's in my picture.
But she mentioned that the. Guard will see us, so there are,
there is. A guard on this floor and he
does see you. Oh no.
And he is going to kind of like Unseef, a sword.
And kind of like start walking towards you, like what were you
doing in the Mrs. room? No one's allowed.
To go in there, except for Captain Well and the Shifts, and
sometimes the Gods Well. We're actually.
We're part of her staff. No you are not.
Well, well, she. Just hired us just now.
Well, deception. 17. Oh well.
OK, still pretty good. I did not know we were still
hiring. All the time.
All the time that this is a
moving shit. Where did you come from?
I mean, I believe you. I'm just curious.
Like, where the shit? Back when I was.
Young My father raised me in a you know, he sees your ring.
OK, I get it. The nepotism.
Higher. OK, Absolutely.
Yeah. It's a ring, OK?
You know, I could put in a. Good word for you.
I would love that because I'm. I'm currently an elite guard,
but I'd really like to be a knight.
A knight. Excellent.
Yes, Yes. You know, my Or you could also
be for a knight. Absolutely.
That'd be cool. I'm also open to being a
minitar. A Minitar.
You know, yeah. Can it be?
Promoted to mini tire. We have a couple of, you know,
spell people who could, I keep trying to like, make mini tires,
but it's not working so far. I wonder what you're using to
make it. My penis.
Well, I don't think that's going to work, so.
Well, wait. Actually, are you saying that
you're make your fucking balls? Yeah.
Well, you should fuck cows. Oh, and then you might be able
to do it. That would make more sense.
Indeed. OK, I have to make a cow.
Jesus, I'm sorry, what is your name?
What is your name? Chips.
Chips you got. Corn, beans and chips.
Let me give you my uncle's car. Yes Sir.
And then as soon as we get to our next port, go ahead and give
this phone call. And make sure whenever I.
Call you. I might.
You know what is phone? Oh, right.
I meant a shell phone. Who is a shell phone?
Yes. What do you use?
You speak. Into the shell.
And you know what? How about?
Is it? A magic.
How about I? Give you this, Giving you it
out? Well, how about instead just, I
will let you know. Is it a magic shell?
Yes, it's a magic shell. Oh goody, goody, yes.
I'll send him a letter. OK, And then?
And then I'll be a night. Perhaps.
Yes, but you have to prove yourself to me, and then I will.
Some point that might be exactly what we need.
So when do you want me to fuck a cow?
Well, maybe. You know, we saw a few a few
people downstairs that could probably help you make him in
the tour. OK.
OK.
It was room 110, I believe. One 10/02/10, Thank you.
Yeah, 110, one of those 10s DM here. 110 is where a special is.
Oh, gotcha. Oh no, don't get a room to 110.
Definitely don't do that. But what you should do is you
should Yeah, if I if we make a call, what should the call be?
Anybody make a fancy sound? Like a bird.
OK.
If you hear a. Bird call.
They. Come running and help us out.
Yes. OK, great and perfect.
Never be made. Yes, absolutely.
He puts like the shell to make his.
Pocket or whatever. It's guard bought bag, sure,
whatever. Okay.
And then you go back to patrolling.
Well, we'll be on our way. Chips but.
You'll hear from us soon. Sounds good.
Don't call us. Nice man.
We'll call you. I wouldn't know how figured.
Okay, great. Should.
We go see what's going on in the ballroom.
I don't know what Danielle Radcliffe is up to.
Yeah, Danielle. Danielle.
My God. Danielle is doing something.
In the. Ballroom, Yes, with her ball in
her room. Let's go into the ballroom.
Let's just see. What we see, yeah, you know, in.
The ballroom, Is it in the ball? Is this a quadruple door
situation? Sure it.
Could be French. It's like 4 doors stacked on top
of each other. Like really tall.
Yeah, exactly. It's like like Kingdom.
Hearts Where? Like, yeah, there's like the
little tiny door in there, right?
Like you knock on the big door level.
Anyway, you walk into the ballroom, send me to end up open
the big door. So the big doors are.
Big dramatic entrance. Knock you at.
All we we stand in like try to trio like.
We've arrived. Welcome.
To the. There are dozens upon dozens of
couples on the floor. There's spinning and twirling.
Fancy dresses, elaborate suits, Wigs.
Big. Wigs the The ballroom has a beat
like it's the Beauty and the Beast room.
There's beautiful cherubs painted on the walls.
They're all dancing and twirling and laughing and giggling and
having a great time. Where you're entering in the
room there is like a like a wood floor.
And then the the dancing area is a slightly different, like
beautifully like like enchanting little floor.
Oh wow, this is. Beautiful.
Dance an enchanting little floor?
Yeah. Why?
Yes, it looks beautiful. And enchanting.
I wonder, do the people look tired?
They are laughing and giggling and like.
Like, does it look like they've been there for?
A long time. Hard to say.
You can roll a you can roll an insight.
For me, yeah, a Nat 1A Nat 1. So it's a 0 because I'm at
negative. Wow, the the criticalness of
critical fails. Suddenly you wouldn't know what
Tired looks like if you try. You've never felt it.
They all look that they're they're jovial.
Nothing about their faces looks tired and and they're all
starting to blur together for you.
They're making you dizzy, OK? OKI was curious maybe since
they're giggling that they might be her, but I'm certain at this
point that it's not. So I.
Hold my hand out to. To be show and and we decide
dance. Let's let's have a spin around
the ballroom and see what we can perceive.
So you take. Your hands, you walk into the
ballroom. You immediately start spinning
and dancing. That's like your bodies have
been overtaken by the urge to dance being.
Animated, but you're having a great.
It's a lot of fun. And and people are going past
like hello good day top of the modem to you.
All sorts of different. Like reading is blowing past you
and you're just off on the side. So, so, So what you're saying is
that we're. Dancing well, but against our
will. I didn't say against your.
Will. But like I just said, you felt
the urge is there. Music playing.
Yes, lovely. Upbeat.
Classical music. We're seeing movies.
Where's the music coming from? Oh, good question.
There isn't. Oh, curious.
I'm picking up your foot and down and I like it.
OK. OK, so.
We're we're. Dancing around the ballroom,
we're observing these beautifully dressed people.
Disadvantage both of you. Everyone's having a great time.
But is, is there anything that's like off that we observed that
we see that's like like insight? That would be a six at my worst.
OK. My worst is 13.
OK. Be show.
No, You're having a good time. You're having a good time.
You're not tired. I was awesome.
You. You haven't felt the urge to
dance in a long time. You find something suspicious.
You're a good dancer all of a sudden growing up in in church,
you. Weren't.
No. All of a sudden you're just like
feeling the rhythm and the rhyme.
And you're like, when did I learn how to do this?
Dancing was against the rules in my youth.
There you go. So all.
Of a sudden you were a talented dancer.
Okay. So I'm like this is.
Not quite right. And I'm remembering I'm
wondering if this has something to do with Danielle's
shenanigans. And she was very gleefully
laughing. So I'm thinking in my mind that
there's some connection between what I'm experiencing and what I
saw earlier. Mayhaps.
Okay is there. Anything.
Around the dance floor. So you can see that the dance
floor is like a step up from the floor you were on the floor
definitely different colored. It's the floor itself seems to
have like a little rotation to it.
The walls seem to be shifting colors a lot.
So something about the room is definitely like you would if you
didn't know any better. You'd say something like a cool
ass light show. Maybe like she's controlling the
lights and that's putting people into a trance of some sort.
And then one more thing do I see?
Where the lights are coming from?
No. They're.
Moving as if they were like spotlights in a roller rink, but
you don't see where the spotlights are.
Okay. I wanna run over to Danielle's.
OK, do it. Welcome.
Back Skinny. One why are you making my
friends dance? It's funny, it's.
It's very funny. I'm not just making your friends
dance. How long have you been making
them there? Four days.
Four days, four days. It's very funny when you.
Know who's on the dance floor, though?
He's the cat food in the dance floor?
No. Even better who?
Who? You said here.
I want to laugh with you, my friend.
Why don't you go find out? Maybe ask your friend.
They may bump into a celebrity here and there.
All right. I'll be right back, Danielle.
So I'll run over and I go and I'd be like, hey, who?
Are you dancing? With I mean, you are dancing
with each other, but like, who's dancing around you?
I'll take a look around. Great.
Sure. And I guess.
I will natural. 20 on that natural, 20 during.
Your spending you. Bump into someone in a very
elaborate tuxedo and then I say elaborate.
I mean like patterns. I'm talking two ties.
I'm talking big hat on. Top of a big.
Unnecessarily. And yes, greetings.
Hello. Are you dancing as well?
I suppose you are. Of course you.
Wouldn't be pleasant to meet you?
Was it like an auto graph? Is it my original?
The. President.
Yes, hello, I am the. President of Durant.
Well, formerly Durant has soon to be president.
Humble, I assume. Our planet.
Humble. I'm President Humble.
Good to meet you. I'd shake your head, but I
can't. I know I'm stuck to this.
He looks over and it appears to be like does the ariganasi?
And he goes. Hello.
It sees me spinning faster, right?
Yeah, spin that. I'm improvising.
Hello this is my friend Breezy. Anyway, hello.
I'm the. I've been on this dance row for
four days. How long have you been on here?
5 minutes. Yeah.
Oh, you just. Got here.
How fun, How exciting. I'm huxtable, humble.
I'm running for reelection As soon as we land.
Goodbye, he goes away. Spinning off.
And. He spins back.
Hello. Again.
I just keep spitting. And every time he.
Like makes a rotation back towards us, I try to ask him a
question. I have to like break into like 3
different sections. Great.
And I and and I ask him, I say, who else?
Who else is here that you're? You dance with lots of rich
donors? Oh, has it been successful?
This was supposed to be a party. To raise funds for my real.
Shouldn't get paid. Have you had success?
Very much so. That's how I bought this hat.
It looks very dashing. Thank you.
Thank you, they said the. Key to a successful election is.
Big Hat. So President, have you.
Spent anytime with the captain. Oh, the captain.
I am very. Well acquainted, I chosen myself
is this. But you hired him.
For this role? Oh, wow.
You know, I'm glad that was. Doomed, as you know, due to the
bleeding our resources, so. We had to improvise a big shit
transport, everyone. Oh.
My God, stop the spreading God. He like falls over, Still
spitting, still dancing. Somehow stands back up.
Anyway, you're the best captain in all of Durant.
Which was Captain Norman? Oh, wow.
So has he been down to the ballroom to participate in the
festivities? Dancing.
Oh. I'm donating, so he's very
dedicated. To his career, is what you're
saying. Yes, he's also a stingy.
Man, wow. I'll be right back.
I walk up, not to the dance floor.
And I say, does everybody want to stop dancing?
Everyone cheers. Very much so all.
Hold on, actually, would you all drop your valuables off the
sides? This might help me to get us to
stop dancing. I think it has something to do
with the spell wrong Persuasion I'm like.
Do I want to do that? Yeah, I do.
That's funny. 14. 14 Not everyone does it, because a lot
of them donated their valuables to the president.
But you see a good smattering of gold and jewels and big hats.
Perfect. Boom, boom, boom, boom.
I put on the big hat. The biggest?
Hat that I can? Find right.
I walk back over and like before, like I like sneak around
the corner because she was really focused last time, right?
And I OK, so I sneak around her. And do.
You want. Me to sneak for that?
Yeah. Stealth roll, stealth roll
Stealth 24. Yeah, she doesn't sense you.
She's just kind of like giggling and something like, OK, and then
I attack her from the oh, OK, what do you want to attack her
with? My repia?
OK, roll for a hit, Nat 20. My God.
OK, kill this porn one from behind in Jamaica 18 plus my.
Sneak attack die. Hot damn that just. 28 damage.
Oh. My.
God. So without any pomp.
Or circumstances sneak behind her, Your rape, your rights, and
I'm assuming straight through and she just goes and the orb
disappears as she falls over dead at the door now.
Do we stop? Yes.
Everyone in the volume. Stops spinning.
And then all of a sudden a whole bunch of rich people start
throwing up and. Then I go.
Over, back, over. And I say you're welcome, Ladies
and gentlemen, you you overwhelmingly smell so much
vomit. Everyone's like, I haven't eaten
this. Constitution.
To see if it makes me cute. Yeah, this goes to say, suddenly
don't want to dance anymore? Ever again, Not Tony again.
Jesus, you love the. Smell of vomit.
Actually remind you whole remind you of the bars.
But yeah, used to stop dancing. There's vomit everywhere.
The president like grabs your ankle Draco.
And it's like please, please, food, anything, food in mouth,
so. I.
Looked in my pocket. We pick any food up from the.
Just just the rum did. You finish?
Yeah. You have the rum.
You know our snacks too. Yeah.
Did you save any year snack? From Cat Cora, No, I did not
during that date. So your president, I don't have
anything for you, but but one level down, there's a dining
area. Amazing.
He's digging. Digging his nails into the dance
follow. Me citizens do food, so there
you go, they start. Dancing presents.
Burrowing. And they're all following him.
They're all following him, OK? What a good president.
What a good leader. So.
Chips comes in. It was.
No, I was pretty sure you guys said that.
You were the up and you've caused a breakfast and filled
the prison. Actually, we've done the
opposite. We've saved everyone else.
Chips. Chips, did you notice that?
That these. People were.
Dancing for four days straight, those 20 did.
No. I thought it was funny.
Oh funny. Well, it was not.
They were. Not having a good time.
There was a witch. She was.
Calling I have like. A big job description or
anything. It's pretty much like don't let
people do weird shit, and also don't let people be murdered.
And you voted both. The weird shit has been
happening for the past four days.
Well, now See, here's the thing. Rule for initiative.
And I will 12 so. You're up first.
B show alrighty. Time to do some funny magic.
I think we're just going to. Go for a guiding.
Bolt here on this fellow. Why not?
Because. I can cast it for.
Free is. Why not?
It's 14. Do I get any?
Adjustment of that. Nope.
You miss. I do right past his.
Little Brain and. I do.
Mean little, OK. Since he that's 12, he'll go
next and he is going to go after the person who literally
murdered a person. So he isn't like where are we by
the way? You're you're in the ballroom.
In the ballroom, Yeah. So he's in the pull out his long
sword That is a 14 hit. Damn.
Wait, wait, 1414 tie matches. The tie hits OK.
Well tie. There you go.
So he's in the hit. Yeah.
And that is a D 10 + 3. Damn. 12 damage.
So he's gonna think I got a big swing at you right across your
chest of those long sword knocks off your corn name tag.
You've lost through your guard identity.
You're not corn. But I'm about to be chips.
I go. See you, Draco.
OK, so we're in. Full on battle mode right now,
right? We're kicking ass and taking SO.
So I grabbed my doublehanded sword and I prepare for A/OK.
I got. So that's a 17 to hit.
Hit. I got a. 10.
Wow +3. So plus. 3.
All right. How do you hit him?
Just. Write the textbook.
Like right through the chest, like, just like shoulder through
chest, like my sword is sharp. Yeah, sure.
It's just like going. For a death, he goes, and then
it's your turn. Josette, how many sources of
light are in this room? OK, so now that the the light
show is over, it's kind of dark in here.
Everything's been turned off. It's supposed to be closed, but.
Because it's been going. For four days all the lights are
off. To send.
OK, Is there like 1? So it's dark.
Doors open though. And the hallway was lit.
OK. All right.
I'm. A mage hand to close the doors.
Oh, OK, so it gets really dark. Oh, you wanted it dark?
I thought I was doing you a favor.
OK, so now the lights are all out, and then I'm going to,
like, try and like with this, like, new darkness.
Like sneak around behind him and then now that I'm behind him,
can like, is it OK, but roll all the things.
All the things. OK.
So you just got to get that, that, that, that that ACP, you
know, Yeah, he, he. He damn 11.
Nah, that's Nah. So it's so dark that even you
can see him. OK, but I've got dark vision,
that's why. Well, you miss somehow.
OK, so instead what I'm going to do is I'm going to use my bonus
section to disengage and. I'm going to go and I'm going to
like hide behind some of the like bodies of like people like
stumbling around. Yeah, you can do that.
It's fine, but I'm like shouting like over here, over here.
I'm the one who heard. Come on, that's not fair.
You know, I'm slow. Bishop how to do some cool druid
shit? Do some cool druid shit.
I'm going to cast my starry form wild shape, which is going to
make my body get some starry constellations all across it and
over it and stuff, and I kind of shift into like this form that
looks kind of like an. Like, with kind of like Centaur
legs sort of thing. Oh, cool.
Sagittarius, Sagittarius thing. Which basically means I get to
as a free action. First off, I get to make a range
spell attack against him to shoot him with a luminous arrow.
Oh yeah, shit. OK And then he's going to be
visible with this luminous arrow sticking out of it.
Yeah, you'll be able to see the. Arrow Yeah, it blows.
I hope this. Works, cuz then he'll be able to
hit nice. That is an 11 plus my wisdom,
which would be 14 to hit. Mrs. Well, you can see where the
arrow is. Yep.
OK. It's in a wall.
Yep. Sure fucking is.
Can't see where he is, so as my main action then I'm gonna try
guiding Bolt again because that's my highest damage smell
right now. All right.
Do it. Sorry.
Much better. That's the 1616 hits.
Awesome. So that does 4D6 radiant damage.
Oh, OK. And it never makes the next
attack on him has an advantage. So that's 12 total.
All right. So that's three 4/4 and.
You're not going to need a next turn to do more damage.
So that comes flying at them, hits them right in the face, and
you all see like a little football.
They got kids. It's kind of twirls backwards
and Chips falls headless over. Make him the door back open
right the lights come on the the president's like, Oh my God, the
God. No, the guard, he came in and he
he tried to cut. His head up.
He lost his head. Yeah, he lost his head.
I rising. He like digs further down into
the ballroom. They take chips as clothes.
All right. So you have your Level 3.
Your your your next access name tag and Chris and name got the
red. Yeah.
Your chips. Well, you already had access
right. Right.
Well, I. Say we should head up to the
executive branch, see if we can find the captain before things
go down. Yes, you go into the next little
floor Here. There are two elevators.
One is solid gold, one is army green.
And those are your two options. Solid gold.
Solid gold all the way. Solid gold.
Solid gold is the executive suites.
Nice. So there are 4 doors here, just
4 doors. Let's go to the.
First one, first door, first door, same process.
First door, same process. The first door.
Okay, the first door.
You open it and there is a Aminitar standing there wearing
sunglasses and carrying a big axe and goes.
Now, I'm not the smartest person in the world, but you sure don't
look like the president. Well, the president is
downstairs. He was just looking for you.
He was talking about you. No, no.
No one's let in here except for me.
If you want to get in, you got to beat me up.
We're not traveling in. I.
What about the president? You said the president's
allowed. President's not allowed is
allowed in here. But we'll be right back.
I could. You guys want to come with?
Should we run down that elevator?
Grab the president? We found some food for you,
miss. I had me.
We found food for you upstairs. Food right upstairs.
Yes. You.
Bring the. President, back upstairs.
Yeah. Now, wait.
This is my room. Yes.
Yes, we we right back here. Right in here.
Oh, OK. The Minotaur moves out of the
way. But you see, he told us that we
could come, right, president, right?
Have food. Yes.
Now we're in, you're in the president's room.
OK. So we're in that room, right?
Yes. Yes.
It's a it's a great, great room. Where's the food?
You said that there would be food here.
You said there would be food, but you said that it's in this.
Mini bar. Like there's an openness cabinet
and there's like little, like little little spots, little
slots for snacks and drinks. But like you're hungry, like a
sign says, Like it'll charge you for each one you take out like
exorbit amount of money. So while he's.
Rummaging through his mini fridge you didn't know he had,
Here's a chassis on the walls. You see some charts of the new
world. You see like him trying to,
like, draw little buildings on there.
You see a sword on the wall. Fancy sword.
No Captain.
Magical. No Captain here.
I think that's all we need. Really fun.
All right. We've delivered the the captain
to you. Try a nice name, Mr. Minotore.
What's your name, by the way? Your name, Mr. Minotore.
Moo Radley. Moo Radley.
Love it. Chips is dead, and I wonder why.
If only we could know. So we.
Gotta go. So this is the.
Executive wing, right? And we need to go to the down
the elevator and then back up the green elevator.
So you do. So we do, So we do.
You're in the officer suites now again, 4 doors, 4 doors.
What do we got? What do you got?
We've got the captain's quarters, we've got the bridge,
we have the mates bunks and a ship that says ship liar.
So before we go any. Further, I think we should
prepare ourselves a little bit. So yeah, does anyone have any
healing anything? Or somebody's got a healing
potion, but maybe we didn't. Oh wait, I think we get a
healing potion. Yeah.
Cuz I got the the sleeping one and you got the I'll pass you
the health. Motion.
I just kind of. I don't know how healing potions
work. It's OK.
I wrote it in for you. That health potion, when you
drink it restores 10 hit points. Well, there we go.
There you go. There you go.
One health potion. That's perfect.
Down the hatchet. OK, so.
I've got that sleeping draft that I picked up in the In the
Just in Case room. That's right.
And who has the bottle of rum? Is that?
Oh, clever. I think I've got it.
OK, so, so, so. I get your rum.
And I opened it. Stopper.
We all take a swig. So, yeah, Fortify ourselves,
right? Cheers.
And then we pour in the sleeping draft.
Yeah. So now we're ready.
Like, well, maybe we can serve him a drink.
Like that's OK and then we knock him out and.
Then we can drag him downstairs up a little.
OK, Yeah, yeah, it looks OK. It looks normal.
Maybe a little bit cloudy than usual, but he won't notice.
Yeah. So I'm wearing the Red Officers
uniform. You're wearing an Elite Guards
uniform. Elite Guards uniform.
A little bit different. OK, OK.
But we are definitely not wearing.
Guards Uniform. We sure aren't.
We, love. We're just in whatever we had
on. Yep.
OK, where are the rooms again, Captain's?
The bridge, the mates bunks, and the ship.
Liar. Oh, I'm gonna go the.
Ship liar. So curious about the ship liar
LYR. A or LAIRLIAR?
What the hell, liar. Same process.
All right. Let's go ahead.
There is a a bully wug that's a frog person.
I love that sitting on a large Lily pad, looking very serene,
they meditative is welcome, welcome.
Thank you. Thank you for the welcome.
You're not welcome. Do you know where the captain
is? No.
Where is he? He's definitely not on this
floor. OK.
Thank you. What are you doing?
What am I doing dancing? Do you know anything about the
captain's infidelity? Not at all.
OK, who would the captain never sleep with on board his wife?
Also, he would probably never sleep with special triangle.
Also, he would probably never sleep with beans.
Beans. Is beans alive?
Beans. Beans is fine.
Beans is beans. Is dead.
Beans is dead. When did we kill beans?
Says the ship. Liar.
Sorry, I got caught up in the moment.
Okay. Who else?
Doesn't know about the captain's infidelity.
Everyone, with the exception of four people, don't know about
the ship's captain's infidelity. How do you know these things?
Yeah, I don't captain this person.
The OK, him the liar. And one other person. 055 people
who don't know about the ship captains infidelity.
Oh well, you're. Does that include us?
No. I.
Good liar. You're very actually.
Let's say it this way. You're terrible at this.
I am the worst liar. Sure are.
They didn't give me this job because I'm bad at it.
I look around the room, see if there's anything.
It's kind of swampy in here. You you see like some Q Anon
book equivalents in D&D world. You you see like a whole like
row of books, all of which like, say like liars guide volumes one
through 50. You see a copy of Huckleberry
Finn and Tom Sawyer, so. Any other pressing questions are
the ship's liar? Which room is in TN?
Which room is the captain? Not in.
He's not on the bridge. What's the Captain's least
favorite drink? Rum.
OK, great. Excellent.
Think about it. Would the captain hate this
drink? We hold up the room like squints
at it. Do you think he wouldn't drink
it? The captain would not drink
that. Good.
OK, great. I.
Think we have what we need. This guy this is awesome.
The Chips Liar. This is great.
I want to go to the captain's room, he said.
It was on the bridge, though, right?
But maybe. What we find in there?
Maybe the possibilities are in. Let's go in there before.
We go to the bridge. You have a terrible.
Day I hope you die. I hope you die too.
The point where I can't tell if you're genuine or not.
That's the sip. That's the sips.
Liar. Is there another captain's
quarters? Sure.
Cool. It's empty.
There's no captain in there, obviously.
So you just kind of see the captain's stuff lying about.
Roll the perception check, 1515. Okay.
You can pretty much glean what's in here, so I'll just read to
you the long list so you find, you know, clues who the captain
is. It makes him tick.
You see love letters. He's written to special.
You see a note, a little post it note like pinned to the wall
with a dagger in it that says remember to divorce wife.
You you see pictures of him shaking hands?
All of these up. OK, pictures of him.
Shaking hands of various D&D legends.
You see him shaking hands of Strad.
You see him shaking hands of Tasha.
You see him. Shaking hands of.
You see, a bed tastefully decorated definitely has a
woman's touch. Definitely not specials.
There's a bookshelf that seems to only contain two books.
Those books are the Captain's guide to safely escorting
refugees on what was once a commercial spell jammership and
Gerard Omens diary from when he was a pirate and a dresser with
a bike walk on it. I want to look through the life
the bring everyone over and look through the the diary to see if
it has a string of numbers in it.
A string of numbers. OK, cool.
Yeah, you're flipping through it in the first page.
I should make it roll for it. Roll Insight.
Yeah, I got like a I got an at 20 on that one.
An at 20. So you're you're flipping
through and you immediately stop at that page of this.
Dear diary, today was the best day in me life.
I met the woman I want to marry and be with for the rest of me
existence. She is gorgeous.
She's caring. She's hot as fuck.
I can't believe my luck. I finally get to have an affair
on this, the date 01/09 two 222 OK.
So we keep signed that captain, ripped that page out as well and
put it with the rest. Actually just keep signed to the
captain. We put those numbers on the bike
line right? Then of course it opens right
up. So inside the dresser there's an
eye patch, a hook, and a small pouch of gold labeled ill gains.
Ill gains. Ill gains some of the gold.
Yeah, sure, yeah. How much gold?
Ill gotten. Enough.
It's, it's. It's what?
It's got 99 gold pieces in it, 33 for each of you.
Yeah, she's a gold in the wool. Yep.
After captains quarters. Alright put A1. 100th, Piece in
there, so the ass cap. So we definitely have some.
Blackmail material. So.
So our goal here is to take the captain down to the storage room
or make him fall asleep. We want to take him alive and we
want to have the probably. Special triangle be the one who
shares the news about him. His infidelity, not the news
about what the infidelity is Okay.
And that way they can bond over that.
Wow. But we also no.
Nothing. Let's not buy Lindsay's room to
let her. Know that we found the captain,
right? What was the mission from the
the that she gave us, Lindsay? Lindsay told us to find out,
figure out what's going on while.
The night shift we don't need to bring the captain to.
We should to tell her what we found out.
Yeah. So stop.
I don't replace my way down. And then?
And then we got to somehow get this captain off the ship.
Do we stuff them down the poop shoot?
Well, how about what if we got the girls to help us?
OK, so we got, we got, we got to knock him out.
And take him downstairs. One of us was peel off talk to
Lindsay. We had done so.
My thought is maybe do we want to send the girl to to share the
information with? Oh yeah, that would be good that
way. Special triangle.
That way she gets to be the one who like and then she can have
the romantic. They can have the romantic
beginning, they can have a bond. I don't remember that, OK?
OK, good deal. Scrolling really quickly through
the diary. Does it say what his wife's
favorite drink is? I so this is balcony was a
pirate so so this is in in the book there's a whole page on his
wife and before the affair page obviously and it's a few quick
things about me wife. One, she's very nice.
Two, she can drink anyone under the table 3:00 as long as that
thing is tequila. Four, if she's not drinking
tequila for any reason she became sober.
For example, she enjoys, she enjoys milk and pineapple juice
mixed together, served on the on the rocks with a tiny umbrella.
OK, we can tie it all in. We can get cat to make a Milky
pineapple juice drink, have special triangle, bring it up to
the the wife and then we can reveal the information at the
same time and that way she can be there to console her.
Yes, I love this and we can make sure that.
None of the information actually has who she is, yes.
So let's go through the letters. Make sure that redact any of the
information. All right, who wants to talk to
Cat? Who had the most rapport with?
Not me, Not you. Definitely not me.
Probably me. I'll talk to Cat.
You talk to special Triangle. And I capped it up, I guess.
I feel like we should all go see the captain.
My thought is that the girls will help us get the captain.
So you and the talk to the wife? In that case, Yep.
I would. I would you go to the wife
first? Be like we found some
information. My friends are just making sure
that it's all over corroborating.
Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.
All right. Sweet.
Ready. Sure.
Team go. All right.
Cat. Cora first cat.
And then pull up the recipe again.
Excellent. Recipe for by the way, you're
looking really nice today, man. I just like to myself.
I licked myself to sober up the taste of my fur.
That gets the IT brings me down. It looks like it.
I'm wondering if. You're pretty good at making a
pineapple and milk. Oh, yeah.
Lindsay's favorite. Lindsay's favorite?
Yeah. Lindsay orders that every day at
3:00 in the morning, 3:00 in the morning.
What do you know? It's three in the morning.
You know, my friend is going to bring it up to her.
Actually, we're going to take care of that.
Oh, well, fantastic. I'm glad you've changed your
ways from getting chefs wet. Yes.
So she, like, reaches in the fridge, pours, drink pours,
rain, put a tiny umbrella in it, and then she hands it to you.
Beautiful. You know, maybe let's make two
of these, just in case. 01 for me.
Let's make 3/1 for you. Well done.
Put it on my uncle's. Oh, it's on me.
Oh well. So chefs carry the the like 3
cups in one class. Oh no, I put one in.
Yeah, her her. Thank you.
And then I go and I follow try and find where you are.
OK, cool. So I.
Link up with you. You had me the drinks.
Yeah, right. And I go downstairs to talk to
Special Train. Yeah.
OK. All right.
So. I knocked.
Gently on the door. Hello.
Yes, it's just me. Hello Special.
Hello, it's me again. I can't have an affair with you.
Oh, that's OK. We we figured things out.
I'm actually here to help. We have.
We have figured out. OK, special, we got this figured
out. So what we have figured out that
the captain is having an affair with someone else.
What? The Minotaur?
No. Can you believe it?
Actually, no, that's crazy. Yeah, we just learned that in.
His diary in his own handwriting, signed by his own
name. Can I see I have proof I?
Don't have it with me, but we have it with with our party so
so we also have a plan to help you ingratiate yourself with the
captain's wife so. We learned that.
Her favorite drink is this, and I hand her a glass.
It's milk and pineapple with a little.
Umbrella in it, there's one for you as well, and.
You should drink it, it's not alcoholic.
Oh, well, OK. I'm not sober, but sure.
No, not yet. So.
We the captain's wife is on Level 3, first room on the
right, and go talk to her. Bring her this drink and let let
her know the news. It'll help her.
They're breaking the news about you.
I'm, I'm, I'm softening her up currently, OK?
Got to be show. Got to be show.
It's like hey. Did you find out why my
husband's taking the night shift so much?
Yeah. It doesn't sound like you're
excited about it. Well, you may want to sit down
more than you already are. She, like, slumps into the bed.
I just kind of, like, sit like her.
Like her ass vanishes. How?
I sit on the side of the bed with her.
It's like, no offense. Your, your, your water.
And I sleep in this. I'm not.
I'm not trying to be a Dick, but I do sleep in this.
It's. Just awkward.
They sit up and get hover over and not plan on sleeping in,
right. Thank you anyway.
You learned well. There is this guy.
And the captain seems to be cavorting with this fellow.
And it would be really, really unfortunate to kill this guy,
because he kind of is the president's bodyguard.
Oh, I don't care. Oh, OK.
I do not care. Is it the minotaur?
Fucking kill him. Fucking kill him.
I'll do it. She like reaches under the bed
and pulls out a battle axe. I'll kill him.
Let us know On the way up. I'm grabbing tequila because I'm
like, this is going to be hard news.
Just kind of like stuck the cat, like has the bottle in her hand
or out the door for you to grab. Thanks cat love and kisses.
Should I purse at you? You're friends now.
Oh yeah, you want? To come with this is.
Going to be a great cat. I got to make a sushi good.
But you know, look, be up and DM.
I'll be oh, absolutely, Okay, cut back to you guys, so.
We think you should go. Up there and console the
captain's wife with this drink and help her feel better about
this difficult situation she's in.
And maybe, just maybe, she might fall in love with you.
That's brilliant. Why?
Let's go do it right now. We're going, you're there.
OK, now we're in Lindsay's. Room right.
Special burst of the door. You too like you know, kind of
triangle formation. How I get it?
That's funny. And she's like your husband.
I know he's holding an axe. Like, are you with me?
So fucking you. Their love is going to start in
a different way. They're going to kill them.
She's like, I am about to go kill the president's bodyguard
and I don't care who stops me. What is that with?
I have this drink. It's pineapple and milk.
Like I have this. I thought you might need a a
little bit of a pick. Me up before you I heard about
the. Captain And she's like
everyone's heard about the captain now.
Yes. And I'm here for you.
And she's like, great. And for another battle accent.
Of her bed. Take this and say fuck yeah.
So you have. Two women scorned.
They are now marching up towards the executive offices, which
Lindsay has access to, and they knock on the door the minute tar
opens. And they put both actions in his
brain at the same time. He's like.
That just falls over backwards that the president wants us.
Oh fuck I'm not. That's not my job.
I walk in and I grab the sword. You have the presidential Sabre.
Congratulations. Who gives you a + 3 bonus on the
tax? And then the the women look at
each other. They're covered in Minotaur
blood. And then they just start going
at it. Hell, yeah, they're making out.
They. Fall to the ground.
You see corsets flying in the air.
Yep, more than two. And then they're they're just
doing their thing. Nice.
Alright, sweet. So that side quest is yes, side
quest question successfully helped the two scorned women get
together. So the.
Captain is still in the bridge. Bridge.
So we've got all this drama done.
Now we're gonna go confront the captain.
Yeah. Do the thing we were actually.
Paid to fucking do, but they're. Definitely gonna kill the
captain, if they Well, no, they're busy.
Yeah, they're having a bit of a time.
They're preoccupied. Yeah, right.
So they're having a new affair to the bridge.
To the bridge. The bridge.
So as you walk up to the bridge, you hear the thing a little.
See, Auntie, this to himself. He's like, oh, to be a captain
with a wife and a cool girlfriend.
Oh. To be a captain with a wife and
we join in, yeah. Who's that?
Cool. Oh, it's a great It's one of my
favorite sanities. Oh yes, Elite Guard #2.
You haven't met me yet. It looks for a name tag.
It fell off. All right, just call me #2.
OK. Well, then, number two.
Well, that's a little hard to remember.
I'm going to call you Shit. All right.
Shit. Shit it is.
Well, Captain, what brings you
to the bridge? I'm trying to navigate the
astral plane. Well, I thought that you might
want to run with us. Oh, I can't be drinking while
I'm driving. They'll pull me over again.
Over a captain. I'll drive.
For you, you would think it'd be difficult to pull over a couple.
Drive for me. Hey, take a load off.
Have a drink. I see your captain's license.
Do you have? A captain's license, right?
Very stealthily behind him. Draw captain's license.
Roll sleight of hand, damn it. Hey, what's your drawn?
Oh, a picture of you captain. It's one of my favorite.
Things I'd love for you to sign. Everyone tries to butter me up.
And then they do. Then it's drawing me a picture,
and I always have the pictures. But what do you think of it?
Well, no, I don't really know how.
I don't have a captain's license, but I could just, you
know, stay the course for just a couple of seconds while you can
have a drink. If I have a drink, then it's
going to be two drinks, that's going to be 3 drinks, and then
I'm going to be fucking a mad horse.
I'm sure you just one will do. Yeah, I think so.
Is that a challenge? Well.
I am a is the. Dragon challenge in me Gerard
the Dragon Drink beer, drinking omen.
Do a drink off well. Yeah, what the hell.
All right, takes the steering wheel off and hands it to the to
UB. Only drinks.
Show it's wireless. It's wireless.
Neat my friend. So you'll be drinking rum?
He'll be drinking tequila because the girl never took the
tequila. Rum and tequila are equipotency.
All right. One for you, one for me.
Pour into the two cups. All right, Draco, roll your
Constitution. See how drunk you get.
So, oh, I got 11. OK, that tequila has some kick
to it. You're not drunk yet, but you
you definitely feel something and shot of his.
His constitutional was a 15, so he's not feeling the the effects
of the sleep posting. Yet it tastes a little.
Milky reminds me of me wife. Do the Constitution, I pulled.
I need to divorce her. Give me another one, okay.
Done. Debbie 23.
Oh beautiful. That the 22.
Sorry that somehow it. Sobers, you up, He rolled.
The 12 is lower than his last number.
So it's a son. He was old.
This is a This is a special kind of wrong business.
Oh, but you're a. Captain Who?
It can take it. Yes, I need to have Beta
dragging a drinking. OK, one more hopefully for you.
OK. I very stealthily don't drink
anymore. Like trying to like act like I'm
drinking most self but like it goes down.
My shirt or. Yeah.
Roll yourself 17. Wow.
OK. So yeah, you make it look like
you drank it easily. Even your party is tricked.
Yes Captain. Will they run?
So he drinks it and goes our falls right over and snores
loudly. Draco picks up the captain.
Over his shoulder. Fan, Is there anyone else who
knows how to drive this thing? It's the the ship.
Let me remind you what's on the officer's floor.
It's the captain's quarters. There's the ship.
Liar. There's the bridge and there's
the mates bunk. I run over to the the ship's
liar and I say, you don't know how to drive the ship, right?
I do know how to drive a ship. Damn.
I have a great idea. You could just go down to the
mates bunk, show them the captain, pass the fuck out and
get one of the mates to drive, OK?
That's what I was going to get, so.
Draco walks over to the mates quarters.
Knocks on the door. Panic.
A very like sleepy guy. Bring a onesie with the number 5
on it. Opens the door.
Say the captain. Is not feeling well.
He's passed out. No one is driving the ship.
Can any of you guys jump to and and take over?
Fuck. He like runs out the door like
burst into the bridge. Grabs this the the stereo
Wheeling us. Did he tell you what's wireless?
That's not a thingy because a. Bad door, it goes.
And say, Oh my God, we got to find a Dolly.
Shit, he's not supposed to drink and drive passed out for
Totally. He's allergic to nutmeg.
See, I he That's rum dry. I know.
I'm fucking. That's fire driving nutmeg rum.
OK. So.
Leave the mate to do his thing. By the way, what's your name,
first mate? Jones.
All right, let's.
Make our way downstairs. Yeah, so I got Mark down to the
bottom of the wait. How do we?
I'm glad you asked. So you marched down to the
bottom of the ship and you are going to find of something you
didn't see before which is a ladder.
There's a there's a ladder in in the bottom floor of the ship
that wasn't there previously going down going.
Up, Going up, Going up. Going up above the cargo room,
Let's go. Interesting, yeah.
Check in on tips real quick. It's still headless.
No beans. You mean corn?
Corn. Sorry, corn's so tied up.
Yeah, he's like, what the fuck's the ladder doing there?
When did this ladder get your beans shut?
The I'm corn. I'm sorry, Corn.
So, so, so, Draco. Just like.
Feels bad and kind of just like pours a bit of the tequila down
his throat for the bottle. It's like, give him like a
little bit, please. I'm allergic.
His head pops up. Yes, all the.
Guards are headless beans. Beans is fine.
Beans made it so you climb up the ladder.
You are now on what I can best. Describe as the ships like
loading dock like ships I come and go off of the ship and you
know supply ships, cargo ships, that kind of thing.
There's a very fancy like all black ship coming towards you
now and it lands and it kind of opens, the steam comes up and
you see you, you you see a very older, powerful looking warlock
and. Then he goes, welcome, give me
the captain, bring him over. Can we trust him?
He's the guy that gave us the job.
Roll inside. I want to see what.
Would I think on this guy cool 1313.
So he looks very powerful. You can immediately glean that
if you were trying to approach him, like in an attacking way,
he's probably going to outrank you.
He he seems like he can't be trusted, but you have no choice.
Now give me the capital, right? So Draco walks over.
And kind of like passes off this sleeping captain to the
Excellent. Now I have the final thing I
need. As promised, you will all be
rewarded handsomely. Please look inside your bags of
gold. Open them right here in front of
me. I want to step back and open it
with May 10s. Go ahead.
As you open at gold overflows, all of them are suddenly super
heavy. More gold than you know what to
do with. More gold than you'd ever need
to worry about in your life. You're going to be a new bag for
this shit. And and anyone try emptying your
bag? All right, I dump it out.
It just keeps going and going and going and going and going.
It seems endless and the more you pour it out.
But it is on the ground now. OK, that's the problem.
That. Is your reward.
I seal it up now. I also happen to know you killed
two people on the boat. Completely fine.
I have already tipped off the police.
As far as the next planet knows, they were two people shy.
They died on Durant just like all the other people who didn't
make it. Alright, well.
You're very powerful. I suppose you killed 3 cuz of
the last guard the key was shot. He like waves his hand and like
a Ledger appears in front of him and he like changes the number
magically, like waving his hand and it drops by.
One more he goes there. No harm, no foul.
Any questions for? What is your plan?
With the captain, I'm going to sacrifice him.
I'm taking. Him to my planet, I'm going to
sacrifice him, and it's going to unlock terrible powers for me.
Like what? I'll be free of a certain
obligation and free to do whatever I want, and by
sacrifice you. Like, Like, like, like, maybe.
Like, no, You're a religious man, Yes.
Or at least you were. At one point, correct.
I am a warlock of a powerful God named Soveres and I hate it if I
murder a person, I'm free of sovereigns.
I able to shake off these. He's buying to keep my magic in
check and I can become one of the galaxies most powerful
warlocks. I may be even able to take over
the planet this porship is going to, and it's all thanks to
youth. Good luck with that I.
Don't think many people, they're going to vote for the elephant.
Well, you'll be in charge. How about?
You call it them, but just as a favor to us, I'm going to name
it after myself, which is Craig Shampelson.
He, like, slams the door shut and flies off in his face.
Congratulations, you successfully delivered the
captain to a fishy warlock, Craig Shampelson.
Craig is Shampelson, folks. Thank you.
For listening to this month's episode of Spell Jammer, Thank
you Jenny, Michael and Joe for playing with me.
We'll see you all next month. Oh, I wanted to see.
So yeah, what can you, like, put genitalia in between your, like,
armpit and your elbow pit? God, yes, but why would I?
Because to know, like to find out because it's funny.
This woman doing this thing, having a conversation about
this. I'll give.
Myself a pair of. If it, like, makes you shut up.
OK. Is it funny?
Well, I think they are. OK, let's go.
Ready 123. Well.
Thanks, award-winning show.