What happened last night? No.
Jason, what did I Jason, wake up?
Huh. You don't wake up, man.
You drank. 64 bottles of. Yoohoo.
Oh God, not again. You missed the game, Master
Monday live. Stream.
What? Yo my.
My my family was depending on me to catch that They only do them
like once a month. Is that listen, you going to?
Come down, my wife. Is going to leave.
Me. Carter, Dude, relax.
Just watch it on YouTube. You can do that.
Yeah, totally. Just go to.
Youtube.com slash at gamemaster Monday The VAS to their live
streams post there almost immediately.
After the live. Stream ends.
They just posted. Their live stream of oh Dang
Bigfoot stole my car with my friend's birthday present
inside. Where Leah from slave of stars.
Was their guest GM. So yeah, you can just.
Subscribe and hang up on the. Phone.
Cindy. It's me.
I'm coming home. We didn't have to miss the live
stream. It's on YouTube.
Wait a minute, this. Is his house where?
The fuck is he going? Welcome to Game Master Monday.
I am your game Master Grant Nor Dean and this week we have a
another remastered episode for you.
Today we are playing Six Gun Showdown from the Parsley
Collection by Memento Mori. You may be familiar with the
Parsley Collection. We played their game Spooky
Manor last year in October. This was one of our first
foirees into playing this game. It's one of my all time
favorites. It's just Jenny and I this week.
And I've spruced it up a wee bit for you, for your listening
pleasure. But before we get into that
episode, I want to talk to you about our friends from Tales
from the Arclight. Tales from the Arclight presents
Horde of the Syndicate, An Alexandrian Tale, an all new
homebrewed actual play miniseries based on the
awardwinning Tell Dory Campaign Setting Reborn sourcebook.
By Darrington Press A ragtag team of mercenaries is hired to
steal a priceless artifact from under the noses of two rival
crime syndicates, unaware of the dangers they face for the
arrival of a new force of evil that threatens to bring chaos
and destruction to Examria. Coming soon to Tales from the
Arclight on Spotify, where stories are told, legends
unfold. And fabulous heroes are stalwart
and bold. I gotta tell you tales from the
Ark light, They're pretty lit. They just started their horde of
the Cinder King Ark and episode one posted.
That's about two weeks ago now and it's.
It's pretty. Fucking good guys, that's.
Pretty fucking good, I? Don't want to spoil too much of
it for you, because you really just got to hear it to believe
it. And you should just hear it
anyway because you might hear a familiar voice in their ad
section. Now, without further ado, let's
go ahead and begin 6 Guns Showdown.
Welcome to Fantasy First Friday, a monthly grant rant series
where I play a tabletop RPG with a rotating cast.
Today my one and only cast member is Jenny Nordine and I'm
playing Jenny Nordine. Great.
It's another solo adventure, but this time I get to DMA wonderful
game called Parsley. Parsley is a game modeled after
the old text adventure games of your based off of 80s input
action to see what happens Game. There is no dice, no cards, no
improvisation required. I will merely present Jenny with
circumstances and they will either work or not work.
Now Jenny, Yeah, here's the scene for you.
The year is 1985. Booting up DOS.
You look like Jenny Nordine. In the 80s, I'm imagining leg
warmers. I'm imagining big hair.
I'm imagining some electronic cassette you picked up from the
record store because you don't like traditional mainstream
music. I have a Walkman IT.
Walks, man. It's alive.
It sure fucking does. You sit at your computer that
you that you saved up for weeks working at the Circle K to play
for. To be fair, this is still the
80s. It would still be hot dog on a
stick. Let's be real.
Just trying to keep it separate from reality, but OK, you came
home from a hard. Day at Hot.
Dog on a stick and you turn on your computer.
Oh man, is that screen black? Oh man are.
Those of his screen. It comes up and it says hello
and welcome to Parsley. All right, so I booted.
Up Parsley, Would you like to play a game?
I guess I would. Would you like to hear the list
of options? Yes, I would.
You may play Action Castle or you may play.
Action Castle Two. Or you may play Action Castle
Three. Or you may play Blackboard
Jungle, or you may play Danger Town Beat Down.
Or you may play Jungle Adventure.
Or you may play Pumpkin Town. Or you may play 6 Gun Showdown.
Or you may play Space Station. Or you may play Spooky Manor.
Or you may play Z Ward. Would you like me to repeat the
game options? I think I want to.
Play. 6 Gun Showdown You would like to play 6 Gun Showdown?
Is this correct? Yes.
It's a very angry computer. It's making printer sounds. 6
Gun Showdown. Howdy.
Maddie and Welcome to Six Gun Showdown.
You're fresh out of the drunk tank, down to a pair of worn
leather boots and whatever is left in your pockets.
The saloon and general store are here.
Your shack is to the West. A road lead S to the edge of
town. Go to general store.
Loading You got it.
Get them. Got a Got a load of general?
Hold on, there's a picture I have to draw.
Folks, this is a whole ass book that requires pages and reading.
Mariah Cooper, the proprietress of this establishment, takes one
look at you and frowns. The usual a bottle of whiskey
and a can of beans. There are various supplies and
sundries here. Check pockets.
You find your paws, old silver Sheriff's badge and a copper
penny. Your hands are shaken like the
devil. Seems a little hair of the dog
is required. Fortunately, you still have that
bottle back home, OK? I don't think I could buy a.
Can of bean to the penny You got a copper penny.
I got 1 penny buy. Beans.
Wind up your tab and then we'll talk, OK?
Look around an option you can oh wait, you can't ask me questions
you got to treat. Me like I'm an.
Old computer. So I'm going to say I don't
know, Look around. Look.
OK, so yeah, look around. I do not know that command.
You may examine by or input another action.
Examine. What would you like to examine?
Examine shelves. The store has everything you'd
need for traveling through the Badlands.
You even spy the old white Stetson you traded in for a
bottle of something. Oh God, I'm a drunk.
You came out of a drunk tank. She said your usual was whiskey.
It's not a good situation to be in.
Leave store. Leave store.
What's your. You exit the store.
Which direction would you like to go?
Go home. You stagger.
Back home to your shack. Home sweet home.
Pause. Pistol and holster are here,
hanging on a hook. There's a broken whiskey bottle
on the floor. Get bottle.
There is no a broken bottle in your inventory.
Get gun. You sling the pistol into your
hip. The belt buckle is tricky, but
with your hands shaking so much from your affliction, you're
hung over. Okay.
I was trying to think. It's like, am I dying?
What's going on? With me examine house.
You live in a rundown shack. Your daddy gave it to you when
he died, but you ain't much of A housekeeper.
Examine bed empty as usual. Frowny face.
Empty. As usual.
OK, leave home. You're fresh out of the drunk
tank, down to a pair of worn leather boots and whatever.
Out of town. Listen, we all want to go out of
town sometime, but it's impossible if you don't know
where you're going. Go South.
You head out on the foot with the sun beating down on your
head, wishing that you never traded your hat.
Wait, you. Oh, yeah, I wish that you never
traded your hat for a bottle of hooch.
The badland Stretch out before you examine Badlands.
You're going to venture out into the Badlands about food, water
or fire. Where'd you grow up?
New York City? Go north.
Back in town? Go fresh out of the drunk tank.
Go saloon. Go to saloon.
Drinking in public was never your style, but desperate times
call for desperate measures. You belly up to the bar.
The bar tender gives you a polite nod and continues to
Polish a shot glass. Will it be?
Order drink. The bartender says Sasparilla's
1 Sans Friend. He won't sell anything harder to
a drunk like you Order sasparilla, you pay and the
bartender slides the bottle down to you.
You now have a bottle of Sarsparilla drink.
Sasparilla refreshing. The bottle is now empty Pocket
bottle. Bottle added to your inventory,
not the drink you were after. Examine saloon.
You. Let's be careful.
Blackjack Baker is still mighty sore from when your paw brought
the law down on him and his gang.
You follow his gaze over to a table toward the back of the
saloon. Examine Blackjack Baker.
Blackjack is sitting there with a motley crew of desperados.
There's a Wanted poster laid out across the table.
Examine Wanted poster. You can't see the details from
here. What?
You're not at the You're not at the poster.
Oh. This game's a real piece of
shit. Oh, wait.
Did you say, examine Blackjack? Yeah.
OK, you're going to get a 2 for one.
Blackjack is idly carving into the table top of his trusty
Bowie knife. As his eyes meet yours, he
stands up. Well, well.
How the mighty have fallen. Why don't you sit yourself down
and play a hand with me and the boys for old times sake.
It doesn't look like he's asking.
Play blackjack. With blackjack you have no
choice. Annie up.
What's through? Wager.
I really wish I didn't spend my last sarsaparilla bottle.
Wager. Sarsparilla.
Bottle. That ain't going to fly here.
It's empty as hell. I like a full bottle.
I shouldn't have drank it. No.
You needed to. The one other thing I've got is
my gun, and I don't want to give that up.
Do you want to check your inventory?
I'm not allowed to help you check inventory, checking
inventory, loading inventory. Loading.
You're down to a pair of warm leather boots, your Sheriff's
badge, and an empty SAP parilla bottle, as well as your Pistol
wager badge loading badge. Blackjack nods and he pockets
your badge. Oh, he just takes it.
Yeah. Fucker, he deals the cards.
If you. Win, we will let you walk.
Away You now have a hand of cards K Examine cards, an ace, a
pair of deuces, and a pair of fours.
Not a bad hand blackjack. Ask you.
So fold, call or draw. Wait, what game are we?
Playing not blackjack. Sounds like hold'em, but, like,
why would I be drawing? Shut up, OK?
As the Old West. It's an Old West game.
Oh, I have a funny idea. OK, he said.
Draw, right. Oh, God.
Shoot blackjack. Shoot blackjack.
You fumble for your pistol. Too slow.
Blackjack is quicker on the draw and hurls his Bowie knife into
your chest. What?
Killing you dead? BN Man, I hate when I get
killing you dead. Would you like to start from the
beginning or play a new game? I feel like I can.
I feel. Like, I can get this guy.
Okay, okay. Let's can we like back up a few
paces so we can go back to the card game.
Is that a possibility? Do I have to start the very
beginning? Two flashing options.
They read. New game in parentheses, Same
game and new game in parentheses New game.
There's also 1/3 option that's like kind of like.
Darker greened out like you can't click on it obviously, but
it also said that it says remember you can save.
Oh, can you? Yes.
No. Christ okay.
New game, Same game, New game, same game.
You're fresh out of the drunk tank down to a pair of war and
other boots and whatever is left in your pockets.
Go home. You stagger back home to your
shack. Home sweet home.
Pause. Pistol and holster are here.
Hanging on a hook, there's a broken whiskey bottle on the
floor. And get pistol.
You sling the pistol onto your hip.
The belt buckle is tricky, but with your hands shaking so much
from your reflection, I'm. Thinking here cuz I.
Have two options I could possibly do that are probably
funny. Oh man, not too many funny
options I know, right? Go general store, Go general
store. Or no, I guess.
Go. Go E then go General Store.
We can do Go General store. OK.
It's all in the same area. Got it?
Got Mariah Cooper, the proprietress of this
establishment. Takes one look at you and Franz.
The usual a bottle of whiskey and a can of beans.
There are various supplies and sundries here, Rob General Store
Mariah spits in your eye, blinding you.
No. Teaching us, trying to.
Rob me, I'm mean as. Hell.
To leave. General Store dejected Could not
rob you. Never did have much of A way
with women. Nope.
Can confirm. Okay.
Yeah, go saloon. Drinking in public was never
your style, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
You belly up to the bar. The bartender gives you polite
nod and continues to Polish a shot glass.
Well, it may. Order Sarsaparilla.
The bartender nods at you and is proud of you for finally
quitting your crippling alcohol addiction.
You pay, and the bartender slides the bottle down to you.
You now have a bottle of Sarsaparilla.
Drink Sarsaparilla, refreshing. The bottle is now empty.
You'd best. Be careful, Blackjack Baker.
Is still. Mighty sword from when?
Your paw brought the law. Down on him and his.
Gang, you follow his gaze over to a table toward the back of a
saloon. Examine Blackjack.
Blackjack is idly carving into the table top of this trusty
Bowie knife. As his eyes meet yours, he
stands up. Well, well, well.
How the mighty have fallen. Why don't you sit yourself down
and play a hand with me and the boys for old time's sake?
It doesn't look like he's asking.
Save saving game saves. God damn, my computer's, like,
possessed. We gotta get this thing to an
exorcist. You save your game, all right.
Play cards. Blackjack shuffles a ragged deck
of cards. Annie hip.
What's your wager? Wager badge.
Blackjack nods and he pockets your badge.
He deals the cards. If you win, we'll let you walk
away. You now have a hand of cards.
OK. Examine cards, an ace, a pair of
deuces, and a pair of fours. Not a bad hand.
Blackjack asks you so fold call or draw call.
You put on your best poker face and call it is just poker.
But why would I be? Drawing anything?
Blackjack stares at you. A good, long, wild and grins
pair of ladies, he says, and puts down to Queens.
When you show your hand, he flies into a rage and draws his
Bowie knife. You dirty snake in the grass,
chiseling sheep shoot Blackjack. You fumble for your pistol.
Too slow. Load loading.
Fuck. Shit loading.
Where did we say from? Blackjack shuffles a ragged deck
of cards. Any up?
What's your wager? Wager badge?
Yeah, Blackjack nod and he pockets your badge.
He deals the cards. If you win.
Me let you walk away, you now have a hand of cards.
Draw. Then draw, Yeah, he says.
You discard, throwing, another drawing, another deuce.
A full house Okay, call. Blackjack stares at you a good
long while, then grins. Pair of ladies, he says, and
puts down to Queens when you show your hand.
A full house. He flies into a rage and draws
his Bowie knife. You dirty snake in the grass.
Chisel and sheet. What do I do?
I can't. Kill him because I'm too.
Drunk. I wish I could give you a hint,
but I can't. I'm a computer shoot knife.
Shoot knife with your gun with yeah, you fumble for your
pistol. Fuck, I'm so.
I never learn. Would you like to load game or
play new game load? Okay.
So how many? Times did I read this.
We've been blackjack shuffles, a raggeddeck of cards, draw
audience, if you can see the frustration in Jenny's eyes
right now. This is.
This is about as frustrating as playing an actual.
One of these. Okay draw, then save.
Oh okay. Well, you can.
You can do one and then the other.
We're going to do first Okay Draw.
You discard drawing another deuce, a full house save.
Saving games saving. Game saved.
Thanks.
Fuck what am I? Supposed to do once you start.
Accusing me of being a chief. Can't ask me, I'm just a
computer. True.
Computers do not yet have the answer to all the life's
questions. Especially not in Six Gun
Showdown. Show cards.
That's a call, basically. Yeah, yeah, call.
Blackjack stares at you a good, long, wild and grins pair of
ladies, he says, and puts down to Queens.
When you show your hand, he flies into a rage and draws his
Bowie knife, you dirty snake in the grass chiseling sheet.
Leave. Can you leave?
Because he, he said. He told me that if I win, I
could just leave. Is that an option?
You head back outside to Main Street, he.
Just lets me. Leave.
Just leave. He just lets me leave.
Let me reread this O. K just.
Going to make sure, OK, just making sure he doesn't, like,
throw the knife at me. No, it's on it's.
On my list of. Options, you can just leave.
OK. Alright, wow.
Great, I'm now badgeless and now Jack is just fucking pissed.
Yeah. So you're fresh out of saloon,
down to a pair of worn leather boots and whatever is left in
your pockets, The saloon in general store here.
Your shack is to the West. A road leads South of the edge
of town. What the fuck am I supposed to
do? If I try to shoot.
Jackie's kills me. If I try to go out of town, I
don't have a hat and I just spent my last penny.
God is indifferent to your struggle.
You must find the solution on your own.
I know, I know. Fuck check inventory.
You have a pair of worn leather boots of empty bottle of
Sasparilla. You used to have your PAWS
badge. You also have your PAWS pistol
and holder go back into saloon. Back for more, Blackjack says
with a sneer. You are once again face to
faceless Bowie Knife save, saving, save.
Oh God, no. There is no.
Saved. Throw bottle.
You smash the bottle over his cranium, knocking him out cold.
His Bowie knife clatters onto the table next to The Wanted
poster. Get badge.
You now have your badge back. Get knife.
You now have a knife. Get wanted.
Poster. You see a depiction of Blackjack
Baker's scowling face, but turning the poster over reveals
A crude map of the Badlands. Get Blackjack.
Blackjack is on the ground. He's really heavy.
I can't move him, no. And there was no.
Sheriff's Office if I remember. Right.
Nope. You're the sheriff.
I am the sheriff, OK? Wait, I can't answer these
questions. Well, I have a.
Badge so I get delete memory. Well, I mean, I have.
The badge, of course. I told you nothing.
OK, shoot blackjack. The bartender fires a shotgun
blast. Blackjack's men scatter 1,
pausing to leave his boss in the table and carry him outside.
Oh, so I. Can't shoot blackjack.
I saved your life, O. K.
Because, I mean, you mean he couldn't like, sag you back.
But you know, there was another thing I can read.
There's a little bit of improv in this game.
Fair enough, Fair enough, Fair enough.
So even if I. Try to shoot him.
If he was unconscious, he would have stabbed me something.
I guess that's what the prompt says.
But I'm giving you some leeway here.
That's fair, because the bartender frowns.
I think you better pack up and go.
He motions toward the door, I believe.
Great. All right, you're fresh out of
the saloon. One man down.
Down to a pair of worn other boots and whatever is left in
your pockets. The saloon and general store are
here. Your shack is to the West.
A road leads South of the edge of town.
Save. You have.
Chosen to shave. A wise choice in the eyes of
your nature. Saved.
Great, I'm. Glad that was confirmed.
I've already tried to rob the general store.
Some might as well just go South.
You head out on foot with the sun beating down on your head,
wishing that you never treated your hat for a bottle of Hootch
Badland. Stretch out before you look map.
A meandering line runs from town and ends in a drawing of a cave.
This will be handy if you go out into the desert.
Go to cave. Going to venture out into the
badland without food, water or fire.
Where do you grew up? New York City, Yes.
Ah, a Mets fan. Typical.
Typical of Mets. Fans, you make 4 choices.
Go into desert. It's going to venture out into
the Badlands without food, water or fire.
Where'd you grow up? Baltimore.
I feel like you're just going to be railing on.
East Coast Sports team for this entire.
Fuck, go to town. You're fresh out of the drunk.
Go to general store. Mariah Cooper, the proprietress
of this establishment, takes one look at you in frowns.
You going to try to rob me again, you dumbass show wanted
poster? That's the old Parson claim.
They say it's long since dried up, but if you're fooled enough
to walk 10 miles through the desert, I'll give you some
supplies so you don't die out there.
In return, I get a share of whatever you find.
Agreed. Deal.
Agreed. Mariah spits in her hand and
offers it to you. Deal.
Shake, you seal the deal and she gives you a rucksack.
Nice get hat. Mariah's Snickers.
It looks better on me. She's wearing it of.
Course she is. Why wouldn't you be?
OK, exit go South. You exit the general store.
You're down to a pair of WARN that goes South.
You fucker, it's the rules. I know it's the rule.
You head out on. Foot with the sun beating down
on your head, wishing that you never traded your hat for a
bottle of hooch. Though it does look great on
Mariah, the Badlands stretch out before you inventory.
Fuck you, I. Just want to know what's in my
rucksack. I don't know what I got.
It contains much needed supplies A.
Flint. And steel a bed rule a tin of
beans and a full canteen. OK, cool.
So I've got food, water. I'm no longer from New York.
Go to cave. The Cave is a far away.
Still. Looks like you shouldn't go West
until you find that cluster of creosote bushes.
How is it spelled? Creosote bushes.
Creosote bushes? Creosote bushes.
I'm from the desert. Creosotes go West.
Miles out into the desert. You're heartened to see a
cluster of creosote bushes as depicted on the map.
You should. Could.
You sure could do the drink right now.
Drink. You drink sparingly from the
canteen, trying to save some for later.
Seems like you've only got two more swigs of this.
Look map. There's a drawing of a cactus
South of the creosote bushes. Go South.
After another couple hours of walking, you arrived at a lonely
cactus with two arms sitting from its sides.
Examine map. Most others should be a river to
the east. Is that where the line goes?
Is that all it says? That's all it says.
Go EE you, You meander down the length of a bone dry Arroyo
alert for signs of flash flooding.
Speaking of water, you sure could do the drink right about
now. Drink.
Water. You drink sparingly from the
canteen, trying to save some for later.
Drink river. That's where fish pee.
Okay So the river is off limits to refilling the canteen.
It okay examine map. This is going to get real
examine that. Keep walking S until you happen
across a pine tree. Save saving, saving, saving.
Saving all of me saved. Go South.
You see a gnarled bristlecone pine?
This might be a good place to make camp.
The sun's going down and it gets mighty cold out here in the
desert. Okay, make a camp.
You hunker down for the night. No, I should have made.
Fire first. You're hungry, cold, tired, and
darn it, your feet hurt. Make fire.
All you have is the Flint and steel, but nothing to light it.
Nothing to put fire onto. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you're picking up and I'm putting now.
I get no. I understand what you're.
Saying get sticks from tree. Here in the desert there are
many. Exotic types of flora.
If you want to know what sticks you want to grab, you're going
to have to be more specific. Get sticks from Bristol Cone
Pine. You now have prime branches in
your inventory. Make fire with pine branches.
It's going to be smoky as fuck. The pine branches give you a
little fire, but it almost feels like something else is missing.
Examine surroundings. You see a gnarled bristlecone
pine. This might be a good place that
may camp, but you've done. Congratulations.
The sun's going down and it gets mighty cold out here in the
desert. OK, get log from Bristlecone.
Pine. There's only a bristlecone pine,
not much of A log bearing tree. Fuck like I should have been.
So gung ho, going out into the desert, examine inventory.
In your inventory, if my memory serves me right, you have Flint
and steel, a bed rule, a tentative beans, and a 1/3 full
of canteen. Now you also have pine branches,
worn leather boots, your sheriff's badge, and a gun.
And and my gun. And this fire.
Is going to go out. Because I didn't grab more
fucking Tinder. Oh, I wouldn't rivet it going
out. It hasn't even started again.
The game wanted me to be snarky, so the Pine Brent is won't be
lit on fire. It's already dark.
Would you like to look at your map again, for example?
Yeah, examine map to the east. There is a lonely cactus.
From where the pine tree is. OK, but.
It's already dark out. I wouldn't.
Worry about it. Go E You meander down the length
of the bone, dry Arroyo, alert for signs of flash flooding.
Speaking of water, you could choose a drink right about now.
You don't have to. OK.
To the South there is a. A pine tree.
Into the east is the lonely cactus.
Least another couple of hours of walking.
You arrive at a lonely cactus. The two arms jetting from inside
get cactus. You cut into the cactus and
catch some precious drops of water in your canteen.
You now have one extra ration of water.
Looks nearby you. To the South are some creo
bushes and to the east should be a river.
You come South. Miles out into the desert, your
heart can see a cluster of creosote bushes has detected on
the map. You can share there's a drink
right now. Get bushes.
The dry scraggly brush would make good tender for building a
fire. It's a simple matter to collect.
Tender from the dry is bone. Creosote bushes OK.
Oh fuck. Which was it?
Was it? W was the.
Cactus. Examine map.
There's a dry of a cactus South of the creosote bushes.
After the couple of hours of walking, you arrive at a lonely
cactus. Looks like there should be a
river to the east. Go east.
Give me down the length of a bone dry Arroyo alert for signs
of flash flooding. Speaking of water, you could use
a drink right about now. Go examine map.
Keep walking S until you happen to cross a pine tree.
OK? Yeah.
Make camp. You already made camp.
It's still here. I didn't.
OK, make. Fire you.
Build a small nest of creosote and lay down the pine branch
again. By now.
This this depletes the fire building materials.
OK, rest for the night. Heck, your feet hurt from
walking all day and you just can't get settled massage or
take off shoes. Ah, so much better.
Your feet no longer hurt. Go to bed, you.
Had that and I can't. Believe you thought on the.
Edge or so fast? You stretch out on your bedroom
and fall. Into an uneasy sleep, your eyes
blink open to the side of the sun rising in the distance.
Looks like you can get a head start on the day and beat the
heat. Put on shoes.
What you. Yes, I am you.
Failed to notice the rattlesnake sleeping in your mood?
It. Fangs sink into your foot and
after a few painful hours, you die.
Load save. Loading.
Or the?
Fuck our way. This is it.
This is. All my saved, I mean loaded.
It would be hell because. I was.
Dead. You're hungry, cold and tired,
and darn at your feet hurt, Okay, make fire you.
Build a small of nest. Of creosote and lay down the
pine branches. Take off shoes.
So much better. Your feet no longer hurt.
Go to bed. You stretch out on your bedroll
and fall into an uneasy sleep. Your eyes blink open to the side
of the sun rising in the distance, but said you can get a
head start in the day and beat the heat.
Save. Save rain.
After.
My. Epic of getting a fire.
Going, I definitely want to. Save, save, examine shoes.
You see a sleeping rattlesnake coiled up inside your left boot.
Pick up shoe and remove rattlesnake.
I'm a very simple computer. Please choose one action.
Pick up shoe. You're holding the shoe.
What an asshole. Remove rattlesnake.
A mean looking rattlesnake falls out and you drop your boot in
surprise. The barman coils up, hisses and
rattles his tail. Put on shoes.
You slip on your boots, time to break camp and Mosey on out of
here. You know, once you deal with the
snake problem. Step on snake, your paw always
warned you, son. Never step on a snake.
Shoot snake. Your hands are shaking too much.
You get off a clean shot. What?
How fucking blasting was I last night?
If only you'd eaten those beans. Fuck the.
Beans I forgot to. Eat.
Load. Save.
Fuck. Your eyes blink open to the side
of the sun, rising in the distance.
You saved after you went to bed. No, I'm fucked.
Cooked beans. Before I put out your fire.
No, I'm fucked. You're.
Not fucked. Okay.
Pick up shoe. Pick up shoe.
But you're wearing it. What you put your shoes on.
With the snake. Yeah, you try to step on it and
then your paw was like. You're talking about the mind.
Kill Snake. Just flat out just kill snake.
The voice of your paw returns to your mind.
It's like I always say, there's more than one way to kill a
snake. Faster.
Never. Taught me the.
Ways to kill a Snake Throw beans.
Sure. Let's go with this.
You hack the snake and manage to clumsily separate its head from
its body, all just a can of beans.
Just to be safe. You bury the head in the ground
like a good cowboy. There's now a headless
rattlesnake here, can of beans, slightly dented, still good.
Eat beans. There's no.
Fire. What do you mean You can eat
beans raw? That's fine.
I'm just telling you it. Doesn't let for.
Fuck sake, the game wants. To cook the beans, get branches.
I feel like you're mad at me. I'm not mad at.
You. I'm mad at myself.
I'm mad at God. I think the.
Francis are so far away. Remember you went through all
that map and stuff. There are no branches to get.
But like but I'm at the. I'm at the oh.
You you saved after you took down camp and made fire.
But. I'm still at the bristlecone.
Pine. Yeah, that's one ingredient you
need to make fire. God.
Fuck. I wouldn't worry too much about
the beans. I'm.
Worried about the beans? OK, check map.
OK to the east is a sketch of a cow skull.
Go E There's a cow skull half buried in the ground and your
footprints lead back to the West.
Your mouth is awful dry. Maybe it's time for another
drink. Get drink.
You drink sparingly from the canteen, trying to save some for
later and have 1/3 of a can of teen.
Yeah, you've got one. You got one drink left.
Examine cow skull. Oh, OK.
It used to be a cow fucker. Get cow.
Skull. The voice of your paw comes to
your mind. It's like I always say, son,
never take a cow's skull. Look map.
Almost there. Just keep walking north until
you reach a rocky bluff. That's where X marks the spot.
Go north. You walk until you reach what
looks to be the rocky bluff depicted on the map.
This must be Parsons claim. There's a small cave entrance
here. Look cave.
The crevice is small and low to the ground.
It'll be a tight squeeze, but you can get inside if you drop
your rucksack and crawl in on your hands and knees.
Examine rucksack, What do I? Got in my inventory.
You have a Flint and steel, a can of beans, 1/3 of a full
canteen of water, and I can't put any of that in my pocket
pocket. Flint and steel.
It's like your paw always said, a real cowboy that doesn't wear
pants. I have pockets all.
Right. All right.
Drop rucksack.
Drop. Your rucksack is now on the
ground. We assume it's safe.
Very rucksack, sure. OK.
So my rucksack is buried outside The Cave.
Yeah, OK, go in cave. The sunlight from outside
doesn't do much to illuminate the cramped cave.
You can't see more than a few feet in front of you.
Oh. Loading backwards.
OK. You said you wanted to bring
your Flint and steel. Yeah, you do.
Thanks. It's in your pocket.
A real cowboy might not have pockets, but you're not a real
cowboy. OKOK.
Look around. You can't see more than a few
feet in front of you. Okay, look, Inventory.
You have a map of Flint and steel.
Your badge, your daddy's pistol in your leather boots.
Save saving, saving only the wise.
Will be saved. The bull that will be.
Rotten. Saved.
Memorize map. You know you weren't much for
book learning, but you figure at this point you've learned all
you can from the map. Examine memory.
Remember map the the the memory of your PA returns to your mind.
I'm a map now, son. Thanks PA.
A. Light map on Fire your spark,
Flint and steel and set the map ablaze, turning it into a
makeshift torch. The light illuminates The Cave.
Look around. The floor here is mostly sand
blown in from the desert you building crawled toward the back
and spot a mound of dirt and sand near the firewall Dig at
Mound. You drop the torch and Burrow
into the sand like a Prairie dog digging up a small leather pouch
and your fire dies, leaving you in darkness.
Fuck. Examine, pouch.
It's too dark to see anything leave cave.
You emerge from The Cave blinking in the morning sun.
When your vision clears, you can just barely make out a cloud of
dust to the north. Examine.
Pouch. It contains a small fortune and
gold Nuggets. You're rich.
Hey, get Rucksack, it's on the other side of The Cave.
What? I left The Cave.
You left The Cave, as in you exited.
Yeah, not went backwards. The entrance.
What? Just trust me.
So I can't wait. What do you mean just shove?
You've left The Cave. You have gold now.
Yeah. You saw the dust cloud.
That's where you are. Yeah, get.
Rucksack. It's on the other side of The
Cave. Go to What do you mean it's on
the other side of The Cave? I.
Dropped it. There's not an option for get
rucksack. Jenny.
OK, fine. You know how fucking it doesn't
say which head of the cable you're on?
I'm doing previous actions of God.
Fine, you have a rucksack. Again, Congrats on the beans and
the almost empty canteen. I need it, fucker.
I need it if. I get thirsty I.
Need it? You emerge in The Cave, blinking
in the morning sun, and your vision clears.
You can just barely make out a lot of dust to the north.
Go South, let's go away from. The cloud Not an option.
There's a cow skull, half buried in the ground.
Go back. Go north.
You see a buckboard wagon rolling across the desert to the
north. You walk north and hail the
driver. He pulls on the reins and halts
his wagon. The driver looks down and tips
his hat. Top of the morning to you, he
said. From the drivers seat you're a
bit far from home, yeah? I see iron.
As it's at top of the morning to you, I see ask for a ride to
town. I do not know ask for ride to
town. Talk driver.
Fancy that? Didn't reckon I'd meet another
soul in this inhospitable wilderness.
Doc Hensley is the name, and the healing arts are my stocking
trade. You look like you could use some
assistance in mattress with medical and transportive climb
aboard. Climb.
Aboard you. Climb up onto the.
Wagon beside Doc Hensley, you travel for a few hours.
Making small talk of the Doctor. He agrees to take you back to
town, seeing as it's not too far out of the way.
You spy an open crate among Doc Hens other supplies.
Okay. Look crate.
The crate is divided into 8 compartments, each one holding a
small glass vial. Make small talk.
So where? Are you from?
From town? Yeah.
Yeah, I have a sister in town. Do you know Beth?
No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You you may like her from a little bit.
I know about you Talk self. Talk about self.
Oh okay okay, sure. I'll just fuck right?
Off then? I don't know.
I'm not going to steal from the guy.
Wait until we get to town. Doc drops you off at the
outskirts of town and you hike back to Main Street.
There you find Blackjack. Baker and his gang waiting for
you under the old clock tower. Blackjack steps forward.
Well, howdy, partner. Seems you got the drop on me
back there. Ain't going to happen again.
His men's snicker, you see. Scatter guns and rifles poorly
concealing their dusters. Shoot Blackjack.
Oh, no. Save.
Then shoot Blackjack. Saving.
Saving the game. Saving your life.
Saving humanity? I think you're having too much
fun with that saved joke. What do you mean it's in the
book? It is.
It is not. Okay.
Shoot Blackjack. Blackjack sees you reach for
your pistol and draws. You're fast, but he's faster.
The bullet catches you in the stomach and you die in the dirt
like a dog. The end load.
Well, howdy, partner. Seems you got the drop on me
back there. Ain't going to happen again.
His men's snicker, you see. Scattered guns and rifles,
poorly concealed under their dusters.
Shoot. Blackjack's men.
Let me guess, same same scenario.
I'm going to Blackjack sees you to reach for your pistol and
drop. Well, howdy, partner.
Seems you got the drop on me back there.
Ain't going to happen again. Go South.
Blackjack. Shimmy's in front of you.
Ain't no getting out of this dance.
Hit blackjack with beans. The voice of your paw returns.
Now remember, beans are for eaten, not for fighting.
Use flitting steel on blackjack. And what are you planning to do
with all that Hit Blackjack. With what?
Punch blackjack? Let me see.
The gun isn't going to work. Let's try fist.
Let's see. Think you're faster than me?
Not a chance. A crowd gathers.
Mariah watches from her shop window.
Behind you, the clock's hands creep toward noon.
As the sun rises in the sky. Doc watches a sheepish
anticipation. Doc doc.
He's an elderly dude dressed in a suit tie in a bowler hat.
Ask help from doc. Doc Hensley pulls A vial from
the crate and shows it to you. My, my fabulous.
Elixir is a remedy for all manner of ailments, from gout
and tuberculosis to arthritis and snake bite, and only $0.10 a
bottle. Damn it.
Why is things money? Rob Dock.
You try to rob the dock. Your hands are too shaky.
He notices right away. He thinks it's a fun dance.
He shakes his hand. Fuck.
Take bottles. It's only $0.10 a bottle.
Lad I. Don't got money?
Spend my last $0.10. My last fucking check.
Inventory. In your inventory, you have a
rucksack, your badge, a gun, and a bag full of gold.
Oh. Give.
Nugget of gold to dock. Oh, and a snake.
Why do I have a? Snake.
You took the snake. OK, I hope.
Editor's note Denny did not pick up that snake head from earlier,
but you know what? Fucking.
You said to give gold. Yeah, give a piece.
Of gold. Either you're attempting to
swindle me, the fools gold, or you're softened ahead.
Either way. I decline.
Shoot, Doc, I don't know. He sees you reach for your.
Pistol. Fucking damn it.
And says now now there's no way you can fire that with your hand
condition. Give Snake to Doc, yes?
A crucial component for this healing concoction Seems like a
fair trade to me. Doc Hansley hands you a vial of
the snake oil. Drink snake oil.
Don't drink it, friend. It's for topical use.
Put oil on hands, you rub the. Elixir into your skin.
The oily substance smells foul, but it makes your hands tingle
with warmth. Your stiff fingers relax and
your tremors fade away. Nice.
Shoot, Blackjack. He's just.
Waiting. Patiently, I assume the entire
time with lightning speed you draw steel and fire.
While the sun's in is in Jack Black's eyes, he grunts in
surprise. Yep, Jack Black lightning speed,
you draw steel. And fire.
While the sun is in Blackjack's eyes.
You've also murdered beloved celebrity Jack Black.
He. Grunts.
In surprise and keels over dead as a door nail.
His men make themselves scarce pronto, and the crowd erupts in
cheers. Mariah runs out from her shop to
greet you get half, I told you. Looks better on me, you Jack ass
talk. Mariah.
She says. What do you want to talk about?
Offer a share of gold? Wasn't sure you'd be back.
Even less sure you'd keep your word if you found anything out
there. It seems I had you all wrong,
Sheriff. She reaches into Blackjack's
pocket and refuse your paws badge.
Oh, wait a minute. Another badge.
You have two badges now? Awesome.
I'm gave the assistant. I got two.
I'm double sheriff. You pinned the badge in your
chest. The law is back in town.
I pinned the other badge to my. Chest and.
Very good. Congratulations, you will come.
And pleaded 6 gun showdown. Let's tally your points.
God, I probably. Suck this one up.
Five points for retrieving your pistol.
Five points for ordering a bottle of sarsaparilla.
Five points for antiing your badge in the poker game.
Five points for oh, ten points for winning the poker game at
the. Full house.
Finding a treasure map. Five points.
Procuring some supplies to Mariah Cooper.
Five points. Cutting open the cafe to get
more water, plus five points. Checking your boot for snakes.
Plus five points. Killing the rattlesnake.
Plus 10 points. Nice.
Finding the buried pouch of gold Nuggets.
Plus 10 points. Curing your ailment with snake
oil, plus five points. Defeating Blackjack Baker and
his gang, plus 10 points. Swearing up your account with
Mariah. Plus five points.
Becoming the sheriff Plus 10 points.
Your final score. 95 points out of 100.
Oh, I missed something. That's cool.
You. Want to know what you missed?
What I miss? Finish without saving?
Shit. Ladies and gentlemen, that is 6
Gun Showdown from the game Parsley.
A link to buy this wonderfully annoying game is in the
description below. Jenny, you've done it.
Yeah. You saved the town I.
Did I saved the town? It only brought a little.
Frustrating. It wasn't so bad, it.
Wasn't as bad as I thought it would.
Be Thank you all for listening. We'll see you.
Next month for more. Fantasy 1st Friday.