Our Story begins on a ship. A sinking ship.
Prior to this ship sinking, you probably would have seen a
gaggle of pirates, singing and drinking having a Merry Old
Time. You also would have seen a
halfling actively participating in the merriment and being used
for a variety of size. Based humor.
Jenny, can you tell us a bit more about this halfling on this
pirate ship. Oh sure, Little Miss the Tina,
Kuby was an adventurer by trade. She is currently engaging in an
arm wrestling contest with Work, man.
Okay. Which of the two of them would
be able to defeat each other in an arm wrestling match me arms.
As big as you are. What are you doing?
Oh yeah. Well, my knee is as big as your
arm, so I think I have the advantage here.
Okay, well, you don't roll a disadvantage.
It's just a straight strength for me.
All right. You know what's funny?
What 19 You Know What's even funnier, what Matt 2008 grabs,
it's a struggle, he's like Yahoo wait a minute and like it's
going and you feel your Constitution and your elbows
with the Buckle a little bit. You're like, putting in supposed
to guess what you do can into it and before you know it you are
halfway across the ship and then when you get to the halfway
across a shit, if you look over the bow and you notice that
there is more a ship in the Other than you're accustomed to
seeing. Hmm, that's strange.
And then eventually you would see a massive Turtle Dragon.
Oh my God. Yes, it's hurtle, Dragon, that's
a thing. You can encounter on the high
seas, these Pirates, normally Heist.
Highly skilled are all drunk the turtle Dragon almost immediately
start laying waste to the ship, would fills the air, pirate
blood and limbs are flying all about the or cure just arm
wrestling with Was over your head, like I regret that fusing
and standing amidst. All the chaos is that Tina?
Kuby, what do you do? Well, if nothing else, I really
have to help out these people to prevent them from dying in the
main problem and keeping them all from staying alive, is this
God damn turtle Dragon. So, yeah, I would as an echo
night myself, cast my echo in front of the Dragon to try, try
to distract it from eating the ship and strike it with its
source material for making a total of ten on the dice.
Well, it's higher than that. Oh, boy, so you do the echo, but
oh my gosh was so much chaos and noise and streaking and would
exploding cannons going off. There's no way they could hear
that. And the next thing you see is a
giant turtle, e flipper, whatever turtles have shut up
to. Coming right, straight down
towards you, your move. I'm gonna have to go ahead and
spend a spell here. I'm gonna have to cast The
Zephyr strike. I'm gonna go straight for the
turtle's head. Basically, what is a strike does
is it makes me go really fast in one direction?
Okay, all right, if and if I'm successful, I do an extra one d8
force damage to the turtle day. So let's do that.
It also you know uses my great sword or a pack em.
So let's hope I hit you there. Are you okay?
It's a 23 on the dice, you know, that just barely works.
Okay, just barely works. So go ahead and describe your
Tech. So I am jumping off the ship,
I'm just going straight for the head of this Turtle, Dragon,
trying to bring it down into the water.
Just to kind of like, you know, sort over my back is gonna go
for a big swing for its neck. Try to get this thing
incapacitated. Real Cloud Strife method.
Exactly. So you do it, you hit it a
little further damage. Okay?
K-11 damage. Cool.
Pretty decent hit. I don't know if you're aware of
how big turtle dragons are but 11 damage you know you ever
stubbed your toe it's about on par with that.
Yeah so the turtle dragons heart shaking its head.
You feel your legs buckled underneath you and you're
looking down beneath you see all your friends.
There's the captain that that treated you like it like a
sister there's the other Pirates who've all been viewing.
Kind of rude to you, but in the way that siblings are to each
other, not like any kind of belligerents, you see arms
coming off. You see heads coming off, you to
the captain look up at you. Make eye contact right before
getting squished by a flipper and then you fall off of the
turtle's head. You are, you are descending
towards the ocean, you're thinking to yourself, maybe if I
move myself just a little bit, I can hit the ship instead of the
water. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna
try my best, try to get a little bit of Leverage of, see if I can
grab onto some would just try to hold on and stay alive.
Jenny make a dicksterity safe, okay?
Oh hell yeah. So that is a edited dirty 20, a
dirty 20. Okay yeah.
You you successfully latch onto some Driftwood, okay, to know
and what do you do? Now, the Driftwood I'm looking
around, just seeing kind of what's going on right now
because I'm a little bit blurry like there.
Yeah, there is the dragon, there was the ship.
What's going on. Make it perception, Jack.
Okay, it's a 15 you're looking for the boat and you're looking
for the turtle dragon and you successfully find one of them.
What if it's the turtle dragon that the turtle Dragon, you
know, has laid waste to the ship?
You don't see a lot of other floating things with Driftwood.
No one really clutching onto a piece of wood and the turtle
dragons are so stomp off in the opposite direction.
Not completely unlike Godzilla and You are now adrift in a
large ocean by yourself on one piece of Driftwood and wouldn't,
you know it? All your supplies are back on
the ship or at least what it was was the shift of God is my
sword. My way you sure.
Do get any make a survival rule? Yeah. 14, 14 out of 14.
That's about how many days you can stay conscious for know my
God. So, you know, you had a tiny
body, it doesn't need as much. You know, as you're drifting
along, you're able to ingest the occasional fish, you're getting
a really nice tan. You know, some seagulls were
floating above you for a little while you said buzz off, they
had fun and then they spent flying away.
But how two weeks into your Drifting this, you're still out
to see your eyes, start to feel a heavy body starts to feel the
opposite of heavy, and you just kind of drift off into a
slumber, not great at Open Sea. Yeah, not not super handy to do.
Now, I need to make me one more survival Jack.
Yeah. That is nine, you eventually
come upon a school of fish and then that school of fish all
seem to be hovering closer to your Driftwood.
Oh and then they're right under it.
I mean and then they're in the sky with you a confusion in a
big net. Oh, it Dawns.
On you that you may have been fished.
Which would explain the fishing boat you now, find yourself on.
Well, that would explain the fish and the fishing boat and
the Fisher men, I assume there are two fishermen looking at
their little there a little catch here.
This is about when you regain Consciousness just sopping wet
pathetic, looking surrounded by fish, just the worst weekend of
My Life. One of the, the fisherman is
like poking at the basket. The net, you know, some fists
are flopping out of their, they're looking at all the fish.
They look at you, they look back at the Fist and like a Ewing Go.
Josh Josh. Hey Do a flings live in the
water. No, not not, not traditionally.
Yeah, the half. He said, no, I'm coming.
So, as a man, you have to presume Josh comes up to the
net, pulls out a tiny dagger and, you know, cuts through the
ropes of it. Whatever net is made of, I'm an
indoor kid, and you come flopping out like a salmon
oversized, just just pathetic. It'll happen lady.
Can you eat halflings? No.
Yeah. Candy.
What the fuck's wrong? No, John.
I'll handle this. I'm Shaun.
And John is just a John and Josh, Josh kind of, like, pokes
at you. Yeah, life.
Yeah, how would life? Um, how many fingers am I
holding up? I Square your the D6 for me.
Yeah. Fire wrong.
I got like a rub my eyes just to get the salt water out of them.
Roll a D6 to closer. Okay, I'm apparently fucked up,
I don't even know how long I've been at seats.
It's been day and night a lot. Um okay okay, okay.
My apologies. So were you Rift.
Yeah, I've I was on a ship. We were we were on our way to an
island but but then there was this, this, this sea turtle that
attacked us. And then I was I guess the only
one left I didn't see anybody else.
A sea turtle. Yeah, some some massive like
Dragon Turtle. Oh, that makes more sense.
Yeah, it's huge. It's like eight my ship
practically. Yeah.
Are we you know if you have the further you go out into the
braided see the weirder things will start to see.
We're not super familiar with Turtle dragons here in this part
of the brain and see though. Sorry the braided ci0 that's not
on any of my maps. I must have been drifting for a
while. Oh, so you're from do you like
this little thing of his fingers like he's like doing like a
magical thing like elsewhere? Yeah, yeah let's let's just put
it that way. All right.
He will Welcome to our country which we call bomb.
Mom. Makes mental note, that is
called bomb. Okay?
My name is Captain Tom fool. That's me a mask name.
This is me first mate, John haberdash, okay, and we can
bring it back to land, I can't guarantee and again the thing of
the fingers we can bring it to elsewhere but it's a fine really
just anywhere that I can, you know, get something to eat.
You know, I've been out for a while.
Well, he just To the fish. We can certainly provide that.
Yeah. Thank, you know, very much
problem. John weird part.
We head into we're gonna pour tweedles cabin.
Here you go. We can get you as far as poor
tweedles. That sounds.
That sounds great. Thank you very much.
Fantastic. He'll a kind of walks off.
He comes back to the like rolled up piece of parchment and he
was, here's a map of our entire country.
Okay? I take it in my very wet hand
currently, maybe ask me for a different map later.
Yeah, that would probably be the best.
Uh, yeah. Just put that out with
something. Hmm.
John towels. No, use the last of them.
Okay. That's fine.
Wait, no, that's not fight. The last of them.
Yeah. Well, you know what would you
like to take a shower? Hi.
And you use your towel. I am the towel is dirty.
I will I get rid of them, right? Sweet Mother of God.
Okay. Well, we don't have towels
apparently but he like points to a part of the ship.
That's like very sunny that you can lay down there.
I guess now I'll just I'll just son off and dry off.
Thank you so much. Yeah, no problem.
You like he Steve walks off and you hear John, I swear by God
strike 18, at this point. So you sail on the braided, see
you start to see that. You know, the Ocean looks
different than what you are accustomed to from your
Elsewhere land according to John, or Josh, whatever his name
was either. I've already forgotten him and
you reach a delightful little Coastal Port.
It's got a whole bunch of white little buildings, and gift shops
are open. People are on the street
Hawking, some like portable print, the being like extra
extra Read All About It locations, open and lost the
last the olives we are. Ryan being the dungeon you say,
I would go to the bus, Karen kind of like, look at what he's
busking. Hey, can I have one of those one
of those papers? See what it's all about.
Yeah, it'll be, it'll be five silver.
I kind of Pat myself down to. I have any money on me from my
Riley. Not it was, you know, lost at
sea unfortunately, but you do have two friends.
I do have two friends. Hey, Captain Captain.
Hey, can I borrow five silver for what?
But I just want to see the paper.
Oh oh, he liked Watsonville. Annuals are you said, are you
giving out pamphlets for DTD? Yeah.
Do you want to know? No I've already Indulgence.
If you will I'll tell you I'll just give you mine.
I have am already a graduate of that program.
I regret I am not understanding. What is it?
I would really like to five silver though for what I mean
money. I kind of like for hat, the bus
gun on his back, like his lower back, as I'm very small and all
right, I don't think five Silver's gonna pay for the
operation buddy. Pretty close.
Okay, okay and it is not doing what John just gives him 10
silver that you're here. Just give him the fucking
pamphlet Kelly runs off as Mom. You need is a 0 a lot more.
Dear bless his heart. All right well that's defeating
the dungeon it's a it's a rehabilitation program for X
adventurers hmm. Which given the state I found
Ian. I kind of just like rub my eyes
and just like, examine my life choices that led up to here and
it's like, you know, I've been in a lot of clothes.
It Clos scenarios where I could have died that her.
If I'm honest with you, there is that there's the 12-foot slime
monster that almost ate me. There was the guy got stabbed a
couple times, I fought a dragon and now this sea turtle Dragon
thing tried to eat me at Sea. So, Honestly, if I don't stop
this, I'm probably gonna die. Yeah.
I, you know, preaching to the choir, I myself used to be a
barbarian of no small note, and I had a lot of anger issues, and
I I axed a lot of things and I just got to avoid, right?
Couldn't take it anymore, you know, my body was failing me.
I lost a lot of friends and various parties couldn't keep a
girlfriend. Kevin like, no, honey.
I gotta go on a quest. This kind of Nod knowing like
now your soul. You know I just I quit I went
through that program, they fixed me right up.
You got, you know, I don't raise any more and now I run a
successful fishing ship and he gestures to it and John falls
off the side as soon as I get a new first mate.
Well, I'm not much for sailing and frankly, no offense to you
or anything. I don't think I could be on the
Open Sea as much anymore. I'd be traumatized to, um, I do.
Thank you for everything though. You've been fantastic.
Sure. Um, he hands you a bag of fish.
Oh, for the road. Thank you.
So you so I would I would examine the pamphlet that I was
given and what you see will tell you about a little bit later.
Okay. Welcome the Tina.
There's our free theme song. Welcome to the world of bom,
bom. A modern ideas world of medieval
flare. Sure we still have things like
magic castles and a need for Heroes but we've also learned
the all-important technology of portable information books move
at speeds higher than ever movable print fucking moves.
Baby. It is now easier than ever to
communicate across all four states of bomb.
And then one of those four states of bomb a state called
ginger as to state known for a good handful of things chief
Them, the fertile red clay, is that cover the land second,
their Noble hard-working salt-of-the-earth, type people,
and third, and possibly, most important, they're relatively
affordable housing. But in this particular moment,
we're not really concerned about any of that, because in this
moment, we find ourselves in a warehouse, the Jerry bounty
hunting crew has hatched a plan to corner and notoriously
criminal. That criminals name Icarus
Maxwell rumor. I had at that Maxwell was
planning to quote, steal the Sun but things didn't go, the bomb
going off across, everyone has the reference watches over them,
but if things didn't go, according to plan in this
Warehouse, you wouldn't really be concerned with what's being
stored there. Because instead you would see
the following a horse, an elf at a sun hat, a human man wearing a
sundress though. It's unclear.
If either of those people were wearing what they're supposed to
be wearing. A circle of people pointing
various weapons at each other and three dead bodies, observing
all of this is a gnome. Evan, who is this Nova?
And how the heck did you get in this mess?
In Nome, is named Fern a LeBaron Badger.
She stands three feet. Tall is the age of 42 and is
just fucking tired of renting. Affordable housing all planned
out for nella. You you you've been kind of
hanging around this bounty hunting crew for a while.
True true thanks to a series of Misadventures and poor choices
in your quest to achieve affordable housing.
I would call them taking risks and not succeeding but that's
fine. Yeah, watching too much Shark
Tank. That that, you know, how we have
movable information, start engines as a show with, they put
a whole bunch of people into an actual tank of sharks and they
have to negotiate our way out of the chart down.
Yeah, you survived they give you a house.
Yeah, I've applied three times and I haven't gotten on it.
I didn't want to talk about it but it's fine.
So it's so those are this whole standoff going around?
Yeah Icarus Maxwell of course is your target for this particular
Adventure hasn't been going super great.
Where are you? You in the middle of the whole
mess, right? So you actually, you're gonna
find me in a loft. Mmm, I'm going to be crouched
down, even though, I am very adorably, petite known sized.
And and I'm actually just crouched down, observing what's
going on below. Sure.
So, what's going on below you? The the man in the sun dress is
currently speaking. Icarus who's holding two swords,
like the guns, as one does at everyone.
And the like just calm down Icarus, no one wants the sun to
disappear and we can still get you out of this mess if you just
come with us. No way, no way, man, you ain't
taking me. I've already killed three of
your friends. I'm gonna get that horse and I'm
gonna ride on out of here and you're gonna leave me alone.
Forever. I'm gonna kill all of you
fuckers. He's like starts inching towards
them with his Birds and they will.
Hold on man. Let's talk about this.
At that moment for nella, myself.
I leap from the balcony, okay? Mhm.
And whilst sleeping ice cream horsey and I land on the horse
so small but it doesn't hurt the horse because I'm so small
naturally. Can you make a hmm?
What we call that? What's the opposite of stealth?
Yeah. Making acrobatics roll.
Six. Well, here's the problem.
You called out for the horsey, but the horse has a name.
The horse's name is Ryan and he is Steve and he is a standing
there and he's like, huh. This is it as horse brain.
I could really go for a move to the left.
So, he should be used to the left and right next to that
horse plops. A gnome McMillan Funk, but
Echoes of the warehouse, everyone turns around.
All of your compatriots, most importantly Icarus Maxwell, and
one of your compatriots whose name is Curtis crime, says that
you are you doing, sorry? Okay.
Sorry guys. So I run towards one of the
knives that he's holding, okay and tried to Scamper up his body
to take the power of the sword. You get it doesn't wobble.
Run up and just make a good old-fashioned attack role for
me. Okay.
Yes please. 1313. Okay, what was it caresses?
It caresses. It curses AC, okay?
So you start running up him and then you see him like smile
maniacally and he goes jokes on you.
I greased the my legs and you flop right off of them and elf
runs up behind you and Scoops. You up like a little baby and
like, get you to the back of everyone.
Are you? All right?
Talk to me that way. Get me out of this little baby
basket in gently sets you down. You would know this elf, he's
one of your fellow bounty hunters.
This is our molasses of course, the child.
Well in my defense, your very little and I'm like 5 feet
taller than you. You're so freaking tall.
Everybody knows that you're an elf.
Oh my God. You just like so light and
you're being very mean, to me. First order to save your life.
It's been a long day. Okay, I'll say he just stabbed
Sally and you look a over and Icarus a stabbing.
One of the people in your group. Again, I'm not going to jail.
I, I roll. It's just been one of those
days. I can we establish though, that
it is the first of the month. Okay.
I just want everyone to know that rent is due.
That's why we took this job. No.
OK. I would have thought that
someone who was trying to steal the sun would have been an easy
person to get but wow, he really thought of everything, I mean I
honestly almost did it. I thought we To be done by 10:00
a.m. like this is insane. Oh, this is ridiculous.
Yeah, totally, we were chatting away, right?
You totally don't notice that like everyone.
Yeah, Curtis is. Are the sword fighting with
Icarus? There's like a can cool off in
the corner. Kind of like coaching him back.
Right? No I'll die. um, Oui.
We are talking so much that we just start walking and we are
just like walking out of the warehouse just leave it great.
Yeah. No arm of this is like I'm just
I'm I'm been very stressed out about this whole situation is.
Yeah, this is like the third or fourth plan that hasn't gone
according to plan and like what's the money's great knob
and what is it? I mean it's a shit job.
It really is no. The the reward to risk ratio is
a lot of our words and very off. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. You're an alpha you horrible.
Public speaking. Yeah, clearly just listen to me
stumble upon this scene. I mean, okay.
Here's the thing I was looking on In in skied, I was trying to
think of a word free indeed, affirmative reading those
pamphlets that come along with the job listings called
affirmative. Yeah, affirmative.
And I saw an amazing job. It's like an accountant and I
think I think we could do. I just like I think we should
get out of here dude. Where's the job?
It's not here. Okay, well that I'm immediately
into that kind of thing. Yeah.
Yeah, but we would need a horse. We do need a horse and he looks
at the warehouse and our horse seems to be right.
And yeah, Icarus is currently on top of the horse as a free ride.
And it's nothing about you, you know
about me? Yeah.
No, I mean like and they've offered me.
I don't know, it was cool experience but maybe it's time I
just settle down you can't settle down with your cousin,
not like that. Okay.
I mean I don't know no style, everyone has these things about
elves. I do they want to keep their
bloodline pure but not that pure.
I am not like my other cousin II roll and then slowly start to
walk away but you very long like so you keep up with me.
Yeah. Like it did or you know that I'm
doing the same way you're going. We rode here together.
Yeah, Ryan's gone. Ryan is gone, that is a problem
and you see like riot in the sky heading towards the sun Bryant.
Gone Gone. What do you think he's gonna do
when he gets it the sun? Yeah.
Like, what could possibly be as I'm game?
I don't, I don't think there's going to be an in-game for him.
I think it's gonna be more at the sun's gonna win.
Yeah, no look. Oh, look there.
There's the wings. He kept talking about.
Yeah, and he's getting closer. Ha, ha, and their entire.
Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like a comet heading towards the Earth.
I got to cool. My Ryan modifier off in the
distance. You hear a oh, dear.
I'll go check on Ryan, you have a great life, I will and he
casts Misty step and vanishes into The Ether.
I go over to to what I assume is Ryan.
So you walk to where the the crater thing happened?
It was a whiles away. I don't know if you tried to
walk towards the sun before. It's hundreds of thousands of
miles away but you're walking towards where you saw the crash
and you know it's Ginger, the clay underneath you is soft and
Squishy. It's kind of like the summary
months right now. So, it's hot out and you can
make a perception rule for me with this 1414, pretty good.
So like, you know, your Visions kind of going in and out, but
you do see not a horse, but a small child holding up a
pamphlet in the air. And as I am extremely, extremely
do about it. Hey, can I can, I can I have one
of those? Yeah, it before I've sealed it.
Okay, take my money. I would love to thank you.
He hands you the pamphlet. And on top of the pamphlet, you
see defeating the dungeon away. Way out of adventuring for when
the quest has become just too much at the very bottom of the
pamphlet. You see in small print room and
board available upon approval. Okay.
Do I apply online or kind of flip it over the back of the
pamphlet. Okay, I thought that application
and I hail from sort of bird. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I'll I'm into it.
Yeah, I would make it real for it because what the hell would
you roll for it? You hold as is tradition, you
hold up your application at the air and then I will bear
flutters into the picture, gnomes do this guy's, and on top
of the owl bear, there is a person in Monk garbs and the
like was the application filled out.
Yes, yes, completely. Thank you, dear.
And they tape the pamphlet and they put it into the monk
pocket. Of course, don't ask questions
and But you know, your application will be reviewed and
you should be notified at your place of residence.
Within 3 to 7 business days and flies off into the distance.
I know I'm walking away back to my rental back to your rental,
so you return to your rental, tell me about it.
What's in there? Okay.
So it's it's a studio apartment. It's a nice gnome side Studio.
I have one of those. Those polled down beds.
So thank you. Thank you so much.
It's a Murphy bed. Murphy is the name of my ex so I
right. I've been hoping the me.
No, nobody would mention him. But but yes, I like to call my
pulldown bed and lighting. All the walls are tiny, gnome
sized bookshelves and in the middle of the room, And on that
coffee table, there's a framed photograph of grandfather and I
walk up to it and pick it up and I remember funk in Barren and he
was, he is a great man. Now, he is the most popular
gnome ever. Like really cool dude and
honestly, nobody can live up to that standard guy.
He does pottery and and any Okay, I was going to
mention it, but he owns a home and, and I put the photograph in
my little in my little bag and I wait for my acceptance of what
the fuck I got my door. This is your landlord.
I look through the peephole. Yeah, I noticed you've been home
for a few days. Is rings.
Do a couple of days ago? Yeah.
I was working like that's what people do yeah.
Yeah. Yeah I kind of figured I'd you
know, we've had a deal worked out but you're back now and I
still don't have my money in my hand.
Okay come on in and he comes on in.
This is a this is a dwarf slightly taller than you
clean-shaven. Kind of has Harris a lobster.
I'm not trying to make a likable landlord guys know.
I already hate him. Yeah.
And he's in shape like slicked back black hair.
Like he's clearly putting something in it.
Like he's like, you know he's like reading tutorials on how to
like get women or whatever and this is the most evil character
you ever created right? Yeah.
The steps we can, I say he's just like, yeah, he like closes
the door behind him rudely. And he's like, yeah, we'll see.
It's due on the first and if I don't get money than I can't,
you know, up keep my hundreds of properties that I own.
So you know, we and you and I had an arrangement, you were
gonna, you know, be off or however long it took.
But when you got back, I get coins in my hand and I'll look
at my head. No coins in it.
No, and Moons. Good plan, right?
We also have an arrangement that would When I got back, I had
have running water. Yeah, but that was contingent on
you paying the rent but I don't have water sucks to suck.
See, you have two options. As far as I'm concerned here.
You can pay the rent and get your water turned back on, or
you cannot have a place to live. Hmm.
I walk up to the window and open the window.
Okay. Can I see a bird in the
distance? Animal handling an idea.
You're d24, animal handling 9, you do see a bird, it's Quail.
The quail looks at you and goes the struggles and flies off.
Okay, well if you're planning on jumping out, it's not the first
time I've seen it happen. We have you know a magic spell
that prevents you from killing yourself.
Shut up. If you stupid face.
With my stupid face. Yeah, we just stupid face.
What's my name? Landlord.
Yeah. Okay.
All right, so we signed the contract?
No, no, it is, yeah, no, it absolutely.
Is it at? That is my name first name and
last name Lord. Yeah, okay, yes.
And no, not a lot of people remember.
Yeah. That feels too.
Personally, you know, if I'm being real, I prefer hearing my
entire name. If I'm being honest, right.
Make sure you send the be cool and official, like those
celebrities who go by their entire name.
Like, like no one calls Playboy Waters have just Playboy, like,
No, I'm landlord Playboy. Yeah, be weird, right.
I call him Playboy, but it's okay.
It has to be different anyway. Rents, do you have until the end
of the day? If you don't pay by the end of
the day, I'm taking all your shit and walking away.
So you like walks out the door. And he doesn't shut it.
As is it happening? A bird flies through a window?
Finally bird stands up. And when I say a bird, I mean,
like a bird person. This is an Eric okra and he's
like, oh sorry, holy shit. You would not believe the
traffic over the quail out there.
Anyway thank you for your applications in defeating the
dungeon and Arlo Silesia Alice location.
You were approved. Thank you.
Yeah. We if I'm being completely
honest with you, we have a A big partiality to Rogues.
Oh my God. You guys need the most help.
Yeah, I'm very damaged. Yeah, so like we said, you got
ribbon board location. That's called The Lonesome duck.
They will get everything set up there for you.
You just have to be in low CSC. Alice by you've one week from
today. Yeah.
Do you think you could just take me?
I'm person Bird? Yeah, I'm not a passion to do.
I look at that. I will bear.
No, but like I don't know. I don't 511.
Oh my And you ask your 511 friends.
Took this carry you to a fucking different state I am in.
No. Yes, I would.
Would you like to celebrate and arrange transportation for you?
Yes. Is that an option?
Yes, it's a little extra, but it's an option.
If I'm not paying for rent this month.
Anyways. Okay, great.
So you make the pay for the, for the, for the travel Fair.
The next day comes land, lord comes up.
I'm a assuming you've already packed on your belongings as if
he's gotten everything. Was guys like son of a bitch
today. I throws us to pay on the
ground. That's right.
The slicked-back hair was fake and you are currently writing an
air-conditioned Chariot, solo CS D, Alles and sunny, Gervais on
the west coast of bomb, dude. Unless Sunny locales though, we
do have another player after all and we're going to tone things
down a little bit. North of er, Vic where our story
is going to be beginning, where that Kuby and Fornelli
currently. Are we crane Zoom through, Lush
Fields, Jagged Mountain, snow, capped Hills.
Wow. Look at all the nature we have
in this world and we landed the nation of quacks.
Quacks, is the geographically large estate and bomb.
And it's primarily home to dragons.
Quacks has changed a lot in the passing decades.
Once feared monstrous dragons have settled down, started
families. Heck they've even started to
mingle with other species and allow more diversity in their
state, but those are different kind of dragon than the ones.
You'd see populating the rest of quants.
Many, Dragonborn and quacks are simple folks, working desk,
jobs, working, labor jobs, and some are Sailors.
They're just do they need to do to get bye.
But one thing does unify the draconic citizens pride in their
bloodline which is something that must be going through the
mind of the green. Dragonborn standing on the beach
of Hudson Bay looking disappointedly at a large dead
sea monster. Jacob, who is his Dragonborn?
We see and what is going through his mind and what just happened
to him? This is a tin the worm and goes
by 10, this sea creature. That is lying on the beach right
now was just trying to escape 10 lordship 10.
The worm was chasing down this creature, kind of because of the
the Mythic story that's been in 10 warmer, the worm family about
how the original tin. The warm Sorcerers are the warm
Source were right away. Worm caught a kraken and was
able to capture the Kraken and get magical powers from the
Kraken. And Tim the worm didn't like
being the only one in his family with magical powers.
So he decided he's going to capture another crackin.
Bring it aboard. Bring it from the CEO board or
on the beach and get extract. Its magical powers for his for
his sister. Just in this battle who wouldst,
trying to convince tend not to not to check chase down this
creature. Sarah in this little battle lost
her leg. So yeah.
Trying to extract the magical powers from this creature.
In order that these core graphic, things cannot happen to
to to his other other Brethren and sistren and all that Tim.
Can you make it Arcana? Check for me?
Yes. What ice for nice folks.
Have any feel for days, count for as count, okay?
It was a 13, plus 360 16, okay. So you have pulled the creature
onto the shore. You've gone through hell to get
it here. Loss of your ship loss of your
sister's leg. She's not gassed about that.
I'm sure. And you're finally gonna be the
okay, time to dissect the Teacher.
And then see what makes it tick and you find no magic on it.
All right, very frustrating. You think that's frustrating?
It's your sister. Just like, who is the next to
you? I'm sorry, sir.
Banded way you to take care of her.
Yes, yes I do. Don't use it mending Ken trip to
yes, yes, yes. Um, sorry sir.
I just I just thought that this would be the answer.
I don't, I didn't want to know. We just love even a kraken.
I don't know, it looks like a crack and I just assumed its
biggest her tentacles of courses.
It's got to be a crack and what else could it be making a
churro? Seven. - once 06 big as got
technicals. What else could it possibly be?
And I dare say sir, it's got to be a cracking.
I'm gonna do one for sur surface area so she she gets an 18 plus
1 so she's looking closer at it and she's like, you know, maybe
hanging on to her leg. And she's like, 10, it's just a
fucking squid. What is so large?
That's a squid. The Krakens us a story man?
Look like they did Mama that are always telling that story but
like you don't really believe that do you, of course, I
believe it out. How else do you explain this?
And I shoot a fire bolt and into the air just to prove that I can
use as well as straight e24 me. A cooked bird far?
Haven't we have dinner? Home amazing.
So you head back to your your your cottage there in the Hudson
Bay that's a seafaring Town primarily populated by fishermen
Monster Hunter. It's all sorts of things.
Other than as you mentioned you come from a large brood of
Dragonborn and you are the only one who seems to have sorcerer
like Is hence the Firebolt you shot earlier into the sky?
It is a gloomy day here. It's like, it's like Seattle in
October. Oh gosh.
So it's we got Seattle during any month, besides July, it's a,
it's gloomy. It's cloudy.
It's raining, there's Thunder. There's a dead squid on the
beach. Like in Seattle, what's up?
Hockey fans anyway and you This is not cracking the first
actually did not stumble home. You take her back to her room
and that you see your your mama in the kitchen with about 3/4 of
a bottle of something in her hand just kind of like longingly
staring out the window. Ma Is everything.
All right. Oh, you came back?
Of course, I came like, I always eat.
Keep telling you not to sail when it's raining.
My water belongs in the ocean, not the sky.
That takes us way out of the bottle.
Ma, how much are we? How much of that did she
gestures to a sink full of empty glass bottles?
It's probably which is the problem because we only have two
left. Your dad is, what do you mean?
You don't know where to get something I wanted to talk to
him? He was supposed to go out and
get fire. Eggs is weird for us.
We compromise. We had a headache.
Mom, are you sure? You're all right, whatever.
I, what were you doing out there?
Well, we weren't scheduled for a trip today and even if we were
canceled, so do. What was so important that
tinted to take the boat, you know, our our main boat?
We offer occupation. I know are one vote, but on a
sky wet Day, Mom, I just Mama. Have you ever wondered?
Why? I'm the only one that can do
this. Fireballs out the window is
great D. 24 me. 11. The window was closed.
Like you just like the smashes through the window and you hear
your neighbor go 10? Sorry, you're not seven anymore.
Get a hold of it, but it's like, what Moss now?
You got to fix the window, all right, would you mind telling me
what else are said something? You know, what never mind.
I'll just fly window. What did Cersei says always
going to roughly? Everyone's scales?
What pisses me off? Did you know she had an ear
piercing? Well, I didn't know that my I
didn't know that she's like, our Sailors should have here for
your things. Your father doesn't, you know,
have mob. When's the last time you've been
out on the water? So funny.
It's been a minute, whatever you need to get out of here, and
maybe I I don't know. Have you seen the people live on
the ocean? Nowadays, they look fucking
stupid. They're all just the Frills and
the belts in the boots. All you fucking need is a thick
dragonhide and you're finally bells and whistles.
So you don't like my belt in my boots and all the stuff that I'm
wearing, you look great, honestly, you pull it off
fucking pirate, I guess, fine. But by the way, that's exactly
what to imagine. Like, Jack Pharaoh, but also
it's a dragon. Yeah yeah.
Dragon could cosplay Convention Center said, she said it was
something along the lines of what kind of explains why we
were out on a reindeer. Like, that's the only way.
We're gonna see some of the more more mythical creatures.
That come to the top of the Top of the ocean when we're out.
So I thought today would be a good day to go to go, catch me a
crack and like, my great ancestor right a worm fuck's
sake, the fucking cracking story.
What am I'm sick? And tired of being the only one
that can throw a fire bolt out, the window, or move, water
around. I wanted to be for the whole
family, maybe, finishes the bottle, she is drinking.
And makes eye contact with you while she does.
It throws it into the stinkiest. It's just a fucking story, 10.
That's what Sarah said, yeah. Well, okay.
Well then Sarah's right. What do you mean is there's
right? Everyone has fucking theories
for how some dragons can use magic.
We don't fucking know. So someone came up at the crack
in the story. Maybe your grandfather and his
grandfather whomever has been passed down there.
We don't even if you've never seen a kraken, I haven't we've
been sailing for a long time. You've been out there, you
fished, you fought you. You've that mirror that shark
with a deal with, right? Yeah.
That's not a cracking, is it? But no, of course, it's not
happening. I'm in my thirties, mama and and
how long you been sailing for? Well, I've been sailing pretty
much since I started walking. As soon as I get hatched out the
a don't you think odds are good that at this point, with how
often you go into the sea, you would have seen a crack in my
neck. What I thought it was because of
the reindeers you said because they're no, we don't go out on
the rain days. I thought it was the mythical
creatures came to the surface on the radio.
You hear the front door open and you hear like bags rustling and
you hear your dad? Go honey, I'm home.
Dad say she goes upstairs. Dad, you gotta talk to Mom?
Oh okay, why? Well, because she's she doesn't
believe our history. He like gets a solemn.
Look. Like what?
What? What?
History history Write a worm would go out and caught a kraken
and that's why he has magical powers and that's why we're
Masters over the ski. Oh, well, yeah, you know, some,
he's like Stan, really? Some people believe it and some
don't let she married into the family.
It's an our bloodline thing, you know.
Wait. So yeah.
It's why do you ask why I asked? Because I want to know what
because Pas, you know, we built the smaller ship for me to say,
oh, so I could get some training.
And I mean, God did when we were attacked by that, by that group,
of Rogue pirate, horde. Yeah, those tribes.
And we lost. We lost hat.
Yeah. Awesome.
I lost my youngest brother Tong. He like stats the bags down.
Don't you think don't you think of Tad and had The magical
powers that I had that he could have defended the shit.
Well, maybe, but Tad was well-trained.
You know, we gave him all the resources, we could to be as a
seasoned sailor and sometimes it's just not good enough to in.
You can't blame yourself for that.
I'm not blaming myself. I'm blaming the fact that we
can't go out and get another crack in to get us more magical
powers. Why can't we do that another
Kraken, right? A gesture.
So your couch its scaly comfortable couch.
Yeah, you might as well sit on something that reminds you of
your ass right. Anyway.
That's why he's bringing the tension and if he is, like,
human couches him, so cushiony. All right, so let me tell you
about the krakken story. It's their art Krakens.
That's not really a thing. We do not know, truly what
caused our powers. There are theories.
Every family has one, some believe they were gifted them
from some Divine Source, something they earned them
through brute force and the story of our ancestors, always
reference the Kraken Now me personally, I lapsed on to that
and as you get older, you learned that you don't really
see Krakens around anymore. So maybe it was an ancient
Kraken. Maybe it was just sheer
happenstance, maybe it was lots of learning and then it just got
genetically passed on the the truth of the matter is it has as
much of an odd of being anything else as it does being a kraken.
But top, Part of part of being Sailors.
We said there's all this no respect that happen, Captain
believe what the captain says and we tied it to the fact that
the captain also had magical powers.
Well well there's probably a different pattern if I'm being
honest. What do you mean?
So your dad's tame kind of just like pulls this book aside.
It's a family Almanac and he's just going through.
Like here's a few people because if you family photos and through
the generations, right? Here's ours.
You're the oldest. So here you are.
Front and center, right? Right.
You have the magic powers, right?
Right. He turns the page.
Here's me. And my family.
Do you see who's front and center with a that, we you?
Yeah. And you see that I have magic
powers, right? Turn to the next page.
Do you recognize this person front and center?
Well, gee. Yeah, that's, that's Grand.
I have to. Yeah, that's my dad.
All this in his family front and center had magic powers the only
through line pattern we know. Is it just seems to go into the
oldest son and no one in the worm family has I never
understood why if it went purely to the now I know you're
thinking what did I get? I was maybe goes to the oldest
wanted to Sarah would have all the magic powers because she's
older and I if it was purely to the oldest and Sarah would have
had the powers in your generation but stairs a girl
dragon. For whatever reason, it only
happens at the first born son. That's bullshit down.
Whatever value, whatever. Whoever said that you're right,
we are a feminist household here.
I don't say, I agree with it. It's just what keeps happening.
It's like like you've sort of seen Sara out the day.
She would she would talk sense into me.
We wouldn't have she wanted today.
Did you go out today? Sorry, Dad.
I took the boat in the rain. I took the board out in the
rain. Oh, that water doesn't belong in
the sky. What do I know that 20?
Now I look for my entire life. I thought I thought mean Magic
wave from a vote bottom of the ocean where it's are.
She's in a room. She's she's fine.
Sort of deception real 611. Man, I'm such a great liar yet.
No, say you hear a door open upstairs and because you lived
in this house for so long and are familiar with doors.
You know what, stairs door? Because it has the weirdest
creek sound, and you, you just hear like a film coming down the
stairs and she's like, you know, on a crutch that she fastened
herself. And she's, like, Mom said there
were two legs, And your dad point that house.
Where is her other leg? She lost it.
We know that I didn't just lose it.
A squid. Ripple Sarah.
Now I a squid. Ripped it up.
Yes. I were you hunting a kraken?
I was hunting a crack and a because it because I don't want
this to happen. I don't want Sarah to Loser.
Like I don't want to lose Tad to the ocean to orc Pirates.
I want us to be more protected as a family.
We are plenty of protected. It seems the only danger here is
someone thinking they can take their boat go out into the
middle of the Was in the hunter Beast that may or may not exist
in a rainstorm. I don't like how this has been
turned on me to. I've been lying to him.
Yeah, I've been like to my entire life for 30 years, you've
been telling me one thing and now all of a sudden out of the
blue, I'm not supposed to believe what we believe my
entire life. Well, then maybe I'll find your
own truth him. Maybe I do, maybe I don't.
He gestures of the front door and goes you're an adult.
You know how to sail, good luck continuing the family line
without yeah, I'm really need good luck.
He gestures of Sarah. She's only got one leg and your
brothers and sisters are basically useless.
Oh yeah. You should probably ask her
about what she feels about being a mama to because she don't like
that idea either. Yeah, it turns around looks at
Sarah. It's just like, I don't like,
how this been turned on me and I have only one like this is a
dysfunctional family, slams, the door.
See why as you walk out into the rain, just pouring down on you.
This is like, oh my God. It's so emotional.
So sad, you can practically hear the mid-2000s but rock song
playing dramatically in the background and you see a show
Soaking wet child holding a soaking wet piece of paper.
Next, please. Are you doing out in the rain?
It's fine. I'll take it.
Thank you, one blanket, sorry. Yeah, like a home.
I'll let see. It's probably too wet for me to
create a bonfire form and you can try, why not?
All right, we try to create a bonfire.
There is no shirt. Just make a straight knee. 24
me. We're really against the
weather. Basically three bonfire, a tiny
fight like a Bic lighter going off.
Like in your fingers like this. It's pretty cool sewer grate
that I can climb into oh, good and crawls off.
You know how hurt? Yeah, like lifts the sewer grate
flops in even though I'm in my 30s, I'm still like angsty
teenager mode, so I have no recollection of what this kids
doing. So, in my feelings right now
Ray, can you make a Shinra. Yeah. 19.
Wow. All those years at Sea of not
new to be really good at reading wet forms.
Oh, I'm sorry. 24. Even better even better.
All of those audits you had to fill out for the fishermen, you
dealt with all the bounties of collected for hideous, sea
monsters, all of them wet, it's always raining here and usually
I do read about this and it says on the front page, of course he
defeating the dungeon for when the invention has become too
much. You open the pamphlet and you
are a immediately drawn to the image of a purple dragon born,
wearing a lab coat looking very smart, very handsome.
And there's like, it was a quote next to him that says, for those
who need a better understanding, And then IMA back that says the
location is in low. Celestial Lysander Vic all that
fun stuff. Mmm.
Yeah, I'm definitely all in. I need a better understanding.
So I guess my first thought is what would be the best way to
get to Lo see Alice? Yeah, you're gonna, you're
gonna. Well, you have two options.
You can, of course, sail to Port Wheels, which closes port to
Lucilla Cialis, or you can figure out a way to this, like
make the much shorter quicker. Land route.
I don't have a vote of my own. I've got a few few coins, maybe
I could. Paid a charter with somebody.
Sure. Sure, sure, yeah, let's try
that. Let's see.
It's like do I see any any other boats that are ashore from
neighbor? Neighboring?
Sailors of the boats are inoperable right now due to the
sky wet, but you do know, of course, Ava Transportation unit
that that transports people across the mountains that go
into Arabic and wouldn't you know what?
They just happened to lead a right to those Sailors.
All right, let's do that. Yeah, great.
So you you coming Center. You see a blue dragon Boardman
in the booth and as I hey 10. This is your buddy from college.
Hello, College, buddy. Whose name.
I forgot the. Don't we all forget them?
It was a long time ago. Yeah, I dropped out, it's fine.
What can I do for you? - I'm wanting to get too lost.
Celestia has already like points to a Scion there that you're
gonna need about ten silver pieces for that Trek.
My guy and silver pieces. This Oh, I've gotta pay the fare
kind of like, you know, like a little steam punk looking train,
but without all the like goofy BMO bullshit on it steampunk
without the punk and senses. I'm getting at.
Yeah, I train if you will, the pulls up into the station,
conductor walks out. It's a red dragon.
Dragonborn and he's like all abuzz for the Mountain.
Train, thank you, sir, no problem.
Anybody else know? Okay, I simply part of a hero's
journey. Okay, only one on the train, it
would seem so not many people come out in the rain.
The sky is not where it's supposed to be not supposed to
be. We all know this rapidly gospel
for Dragons. So you board the train and you
make your way down below. Celestia Alice in sunny our Vic.
Oh hey everybody, it's me Grant you know the I currently dungeon
mastering defeating the dungeon over here.
Gosh I hope you've liked this show enough to get to this point
in the episode and here this part of the episode, hey, here's
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A country that is renowned for research and progress a country
that Prides itself on its advancements and achievements
that opens doors to Futures that would otherwise remain close to
its populace of diverse and Charming people.
However, some say that some doors may be better left,
unopened when for strangers Encounter of Rogue otamatone
they unknowingly begin to unravel tightly kept secrets
about their worlds armed, Little true knowledge but unfathomable
curiosity. These four strangers reach out
into the unknown. But will they come back from
this perilous Journey holding the truth or will they be
holding on to the reality? They think they know join IV,
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Truly, hope you're enjoying the mini series so far.
And without further Ado, the rest of our first part of
defeating the dungeon You are all arriving into town around
the same time. Would it?
Should know what a crazy happenstance as was mentioned to
our know. Me friend, you are heading
towards a location called The Lonesome duck.
The Lonesome duck, was formerly a bar and it's been refurbished
to be a defeating the dungeon location as you're walking up.
You see each other. You see a long line of people
waiting to get in, you see a whole bunch of monks on the
outside of the building. It's really a double decker
situation. On the bottom, you have the bar
and on the top you have, what could a sensory disorders?
Like a rehab facilitation facility.
They have things like betting. If they have classes, they have
all sorts of things that take care of those who need it.
Most and you see a monkey kind of doing their Spiel on the
front gate and the like come adventurers, come to be healed.
The I can finally end, we can leave behind the burdens of your
aching bodies here. We will teach you how to live
long and fulfilling lives without the need for quests or
treasure or Legends or revenge or any of that.
Come on down accepting free students for a free class here.
Today note if you pre-applied please stand in this line over
here you are qualified for more than the one free class.
Please everyone. Single file lines and a since
you all got the formula have the application, you filled it out
your pre-approved, you all find yourself standing in line next
to each other. I probably would have dried off
by now. But I still I still only have
the one change of clothes. You see, by the way just for
anybody who's a little more visual, it's in the worm is 63.
So being Around with a gnome and a halfling feels a little out
of. Yeah.
You're kind of the same with my two little guys if they sit on
top of each other, they still would not be as tall as you
there. So as you advance further in
line you are coming up to a person, a human person who has a
Lobster Claw for an arm thing happened to them.
There's a human that's a human man who has a Lobster Claw for
an arm and he is sitting at a sign-in booth that you come up
first. Yeah.
And and he's like hello friend. Is there like a stool for me to
plan for when you sign up to run for Student Council?
Oh, there's like a table with it's a table with a form and a
chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not that serious. Okay.
So I would still have to tip You're up to it.
Did kind of like, sign whatever. I do I see, he looks over his.
Oh, my apologies here, let me do this.
He takes his Lobster, Claw arm, grabs the Sun, a side of it, and
shows the table down shorter. I'm perplexed.
But okay. I am the head monk here at The
Lonesome. Duck location.
For defeating the dungeon. My name is Clambake smack.
Sorry. What's so funny?
No, I want to know, is it that my name is Clambake, I'm a
Lobster Claw for an arm. I was an adventurer once too,
you know. Did you what happened?
I think it's pretty obvious. What happened to me?
Lobster are ya. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm armed.
I didn't mean to. And this is a kindness of a
woman of my party members who said they had an extra arm lying
around. He tries to do air quotes but
only has a Lobster Claw. So yeah, once it's doing, you
know, a little too finger thing. This is what I had available.
I see it was at this point in my life.
I realize I might need a change of profession and this program
he get a little teary-eyed meant so much to me.
This is fascinating and great, right?
Sorry, of course I try to look around a board in front of me
because the line is taking. So I just I just need to get
signed in and sure. Sure.
Of course, I my apologies. What is your first?
And last name, the Tina Kuby, and did you pre apply?
I would would I have, I only had a, you got the format the
application? Okay.
Yeah. Yes, you had Josh?
Yes, I'm Josh helped out with a great guy.
Yeah. Okay fantastic.
You were pre-approved for room and board.
Excellent. So you are in for a real treat
today. Today as, of course, meeting one
for a new vocation of a special guest speaker Glen Glen Ross,
Gary is here today. Yeah, so they're going to be
here speaking to us. Have a special seminar planned
and then we have the We have, I get to know you session, there's
snacks, all that fun stuff was head up these stairs.
Okay, thank you very much next. Fill this out on the train up
here. Oh you didn't deliver it yet.
Okay, you know what am I in the wrong line and it's you know
what may I will get you. I swear I promise.
It's alright, it's alright but it is filled out then yes,
you're right. You know what?
I want to review the applications to co-locate.
Oh thank you. Yes, Clambake, thank you.
So they claim based on the claim, big Clambake the
delicious food. Takes your application.
Looks it over and goes. Are you a sailor?
Yes. And I see here you've fought a
lot of sea monsters. Hmm.
Yes, definitely consider you an adventure, right?
What? Now, I'm not certain that
they're actually I don't know if this is right for me.
I'm not sure if if I actually thought to see monsters or just
really really big fish. Well let's read some of the
things. You killed.
Okay. Okay.
According to your application, I am seeing that we did battle
with a giant squid. Hmm, terrifying.
All right. I would qualify that as a
monster. Okay.
Sure, sure. I'm also seeing in here, some
other various aquatic beasts. I run into some Sirens.
Mmm, you've put down And I'm quoting you here, honestly more
sharks than should be legally allowed to face, right?
It was all that one time. I'm not gonna lie.
It was pretty badass. Like a lot of sharks is what I'm
getting at. Mmm.
Yeah. So now yeah I would consider a
lot of sharks would be like 10 really if I'm being honest.
Yeah if I saw a Shark but that's too many sharks.
Should I should I put down a more specific number.
I mean more than one is enough for me.
Oh that's for the sake of this application.
That's pretty good. Well I'll be honest, I wouldn't
mind going back and fighting some sharks.
I think you need this program, then friend really?
Because it's more. I just I want to understand some
things. Sure it does, this program help
with that. Oh absolutely were all about
understanding. We're taking your past.
We're turning you into a new person and we're helping
redefine your life outside of the context of needing to fight.
And again, quoting honestly more sharks and should be allowed so
many. So I'm going to approve you
special case here for our Friends up north, you know the
good doctor has a little bit of a letting clean towards the
dragonborns. So you're approved this Kettle,
these stairs are being a great seminar here today and you'll be
able to meet and greet some of the other adventures.
All right, thank you so much next.
Hi for now. LeBaron Badger.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. My bedroom hunger brought me
your application specifically great.
They were adamant that you should be rushed to the head of
the line for approval. Yeah, that's why.
I didn't know. I was third that was really a
first come first, serve them. That's a line.
You could have been in that line.
It's like so goddamn long, Space Mountain on a Saturday at 2:00.
Yeah, do I'm there - just like been a mistake.
I would just really, really think.
You know, you got here the Third We don't have to make them
class, do we probably will never come up ever again.
If I be honest. Okay.
Thank you, often tell people what number in line you were
four things. Well, sometimes when I'm first
yeah, well, you work today. So then it didn't come up.
So I just back to the the accommodation.
Yes, yes yes, yes yes. Oh yes the private yes you all,
you all have your beer, not commingling here.
Now you will of course, be assigned to accountability.
We call them a party just to keep things familiar for
adventure friends but you don't live with them or anything.
They're just two people to help keep you accountable and on your
journey of recovery. Okay.
Okay but we're not we're not you don't have to share
accommodations. No.
Okay we are we're we call it a party but you are under no
obligation to live like a party. No campsites.
No, no hotels are brothels. You have to barter with know
everything here is taking care of your own space, okay?
Wonderful. Thank you sorrow problem and
such a I'm day in the air-conditioned sweet that you
guys sent me to travel in and just sure should exhaust.
I see you came from Ginger. That is quite the trip.
Yes, and just parched, what would you like?
Some water? Absolutely.
Yes. They reach under doubt under
down under their desk and try to write a water bottle but they
with their Lobster Claw and you just hear a spruce sound and
they're like, oh moment. I can do this.
I can do this TV that nope. Nope.
Puts the human hand under there for little water bottle.
That is Tom really handsome to you.
This hands you, the water bottle.
I just take the water bottle at Sy feet.
Start to get wet all the water on the ground, right?
Clambake goes. Now I'm going to hand you.
This is well since you pay in advance, if you have this is
your key to your room. And yeah, our accommodations
have a special guest speaker today and you should be assigned
your party soon and yeah go commingle.
Okay, thank you so much. Matt Strikers up the stairs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
All right, you all head up the stairs.
There's a smattering of other people already here.
Just some people, you can see in the room, this kind of like
eating some snacks, somebody else.
And which I cookie here and there, there there's a halfling
here and other halfling. There's a ferry fluttering
around a couple of humans. As of the casa, that's a fish
person was hanging out. You see what?
But you would recognize 10 of the sea elf.
I'm holding the low coffin in their arms.
A few other humans, the back. See the whole bunch of people
that are in here, this throw a dart and you can probably find
somebody who was talking to but of course you are all coming up
the stairs around the same time and we're encouraged to kill me.
That's so funny that all these people are already here.
When we were the first three. I don't, I don't know how to be
any other. There was other lines over
there, they were here before. For we were little bit, I think
crash, sorry, I'm just trying to remember, if we're who was in
front of me in line and who is behind me between the two of
you. I was in front, I would like,
raise my arm. You were first and so that would
mean you were third? No, not at all.
I'm just very surprised that are so many short people here.
Okay, well I guess it didn't North.
Hence just expect any no offense taken but I can probably Bend
you in half. Yeah.
Finish taking the Vincent oh among quality of the three of
you guys. How's it going?
No, well not. Well for me.
I'm apparently put my foot in it to be completely honest.
So did you talk about their height?
Yes, I did. Yeah yeah, yeah.
I know a few of our beloved. Yes are not as Vertically gifted
as some other ones Squints and hi, my name is Denny Denny.
Yes, okay. Yeah, my name is Denny.
You may call me monk Denny or just any the grandson of the
chain restaurant owner denim in the no, that's pennies.
Oh, so sorry. We do have here.
But what's really? My last name is Grand.
Slam wins? Oh, that's why I know you I need
my, my parents told me that I was conceived at a Denny's.
Yes. Did we go to high school?
Did you go to the John Muir? Yeah.
Which one? I'm most high school
Bernstein's. Oh no.
I went to fire scenes. Oh okay.
Right next door to each other. Yeah.
Just rise have the same time. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Her Bernsen burned down. Yeah.
That's my bad. Oh that was you okay?
Yeah I thought I heard a rumor but I know I'm bringing that
school and the ground but you know things about rumors.
Maybe hey I am here to tell you your party assignment.
No sense. Okay, that cool.
And coincidentally. So did Tina Kuby and Tim the
worm. And and for remember my me, I
pronounce your last name. My kind of seriously.
Yeah. For now.
LeBaron Badger Baron Badger. See, I could say in Bernal
labeija. Are it was just a really fancy
spelled name. You three have been assigned to
a party. Oh, all right.
Okay, three of us. Yeah, yeah, so you're so through
the course of the Program, you'll sit next to each other,
you'll get to know each other. OK, you're gonna be given the
five steps together. You don't gotta live together or
nothing. Don't trust me, don't make that
mistake. When I would have the program, I
was like, oh, we're all so cool and kind of the same as be
roommates, a bad idea. Ended up dating.
One of them and then the other one and then both of the same
time and they carry madly losing interest in this.
I'm just saying you don't have to notnot thing you have to do
play. Yeah.
You're just here to like learn the steps together and hold each
other accountable. Cool, bother.
I gotta go talk to some other people.
Namely that fairy excuse me, mad, that you're gonna party
with a cat. I'm in the worm as Denny there.
Said, it's nice to meet both of ya and I'm gonna pull up a
chair. It feels weird.
No, no, it's a monk runs up to. Hands you a chair.
This is scanners back in the bunks.
I would just kind of reach up to like shake your hand.
Mmm, it's really messing up your hair down.
Shake your hand. Nice to meet you on that.
Oh, nice to meet you. That result in mind you can call
me too. Okay, nice to meet you too in
and it's for Noah nice to meet you.
For Noah for night I shake your hand.
Okay. Yeah.
We look eye to eye and shake hands and then I put my hand in
my pocket. Oh so I don't get it.
Establishing some things that really early on.
Pleasure to meet you for now that same to you, happy to be
that you see three humans. They all sitting next to each
other and they seem to all be shaking hand to the same time
and they all this is great. Yeah.
I can't believe my perfect match.
I felt like looking at the low-cost like we're not going to
be in the same party together. We came the I carried it.
The legs that's bullshit. This is bullshit.
What brings the both of you here?
Oh um I washed in from the shore.
I was on a pirate ship. It got destroyed.
We were supposed to be going to an Island full of werewolves and
lycanthrope people, but that plan got ruined.
Thanks the ocean. Hmm.
Um, so I'm stuck here and I, you know, as long as I'm stuck here
I figure you know what, it's not worth it.
If there's if there's I if I can't, you know, feasibly be
able to protect myself and others from danger than what's
going to happen. What can I do?
You know. Wow.
That was Heavy. I it's better.
It's been a rough few months, so I'll admit a lot of close calls,
a lot of near death scenarios. So it's been rough.
It's been rough out there. How about, how about, how about
you for now? What brings you in?
Hi, I couldn't pay rent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay. I usually just Drift from Tavern
to Tavern but that's, that's me. No.
I mean, honestly, I don't mean to get this personal but I've
been dreaming of owning my own home with a little picket fence
and maybe a family and animal or two and a couple horses and one
of those big sinks you can bathe the baby in, you know, what
doesn't need to be that big for you, right?
But basically, as I was saying, I just had to make a lot of
tough decisions in my life, and Killed.
A lot of people on the way. And unfortunately didn't get
paid for it and so I couldn't pay rent.
And and I guess I found myself here, you know.
Mmm. What about you?
Big guy is very big of you to ask that question.
I appreciate it. Well, a lot of family issues
were I just feel like, you know, I've done the adventuring thing
and thought I thought I knew who I was and And I kind of had the
rug pulled out from under me, like what I believed in the past
30 years is I don't none of it seems to be true.
And so I'm here to figure out where where the hell to go from
here? So very convenient, monk comes
right behind all three of you and goes, wow, sounds like
you're right where you need to be folks.
Each Center has about 10 to 15. But since we're the largest city
in the whole nation, we bumped it up to 30 for this occasion.
Oh, did you afford? You just wait in there until you
had the perfect moment. Oh no, I was I was coming up to
tell you the seminars about to start, but then I, who am I to
cut into this? This beautiful moment.
Hi, I'm Melvin fish bowl. Nice to meet you man.
Thank you. I'm one of the monks here, not a
former program graduate but happy to be here.
Nonetheless. Yeah.
The seminar with mr. Ross.
Gary. That's what start right.
Okay. Thank you.
I appreciate it. See you inside, you won't.
I have nothing else to do but I wanted to tell you.
Thanks man, no problem. He just stands there smiling at
you. This is All for Love of the
program. The way that that they just said
that with a smile kind of, was weird, right there, may be very
weird. Okay?
Different monk walks up Melbourne's, weird.
Grant, you're going to kill me with these names today, so many
names. So, you are guided to the
conference, where there is a lizard, folk person with a huge,
that MGM is gigantic. Glasses standing up there, sexy
suit off of. Say it sometimes you see a suit
You A Goddamn. What are those kind of suits?
And this is Glen. Glen Ross, Gary.
You see all the rest of the people coming into the
conference Hall? See, Laying down taking their
seats. Some people sitting a little
closer to each other than you would be wanting to sitting
close to each other in this moment, but that's on them.
And you see him walk out and point to a large chalkboard ABC
written on it. Hello everyone.
As you know, I am Professor Glenn.
Glenn, Ross, Gary. I am one of the foremost experts
on adventure ring. Close personal friends, doctor.
He's not a gillikin who, of course, founded our Graham, he
points to a picture on the wall of a purple dragon born in the
lab coat. Then the worm begins clapping.
Very, very happy. Dragonborn.
Yeah, he points out into the audience.
Anyway, I wrote as part of your rehabilitation program, I am
here to introduce you to a few key.
Tenants. I am going to talk to you about
the ABCs of the number one thing, trick every Adventure.
The one thing that every Adventure has in common, and if
you can learn how to identify, Buy it and avoid it.
You will never Quest. Again we'll be able to move on
with your lives. Start that company, you always
wanted to start be a homeowner sort of family, you won't have
to go on Revenge quests anymore, you won't have to do any of that
nonsense, if you can learn how to avoid any flips, the
chalkboard over inciting incidents.
Now, who here knows in an inciting incident is an ABC.
That's for sure points. It'll stick into the audience.
Who said that? Just saying you you'll end up
doing a big 80s. Was the professor here.
It's the ABCs of inciting incidents.
It's cool. Right here will even further
away the mask again and even know what an inciting incident
is. I raise, raise my tiny little
hands. A styling on girl.
It's for Nellie. We know my girl.
How was I supposed to know that? How was I in the world supposed
to know your name for nella? Thank you.
There's murder count as an inciting incident can in the
right context. Perhaps you come home from a
long day at your job at the bakery.
And what's this, your wife murdered you draw on a Revenge
quest to avenge her, death inciting incident.
Now, what you should do in that case, I come home from work,
long day long day at the office, I had to say a little bit later.
I got a call from my wife, the bird came through the window.
It said I'm gonna make it and what do you want?
Yo, sorry honey, I have to do the job today.
Bird flies off. You come home late.
Oh God. Why did I say it's lay the
office? My wife has been murdered and
what's this? My valuables gone all my
valuable research that I kept in my home office also taken.
What should I have done in that instance?
Knocked on a Revenge Quest too long, too many.
People who weren't involved in get hurt when I said that is
call the city guard. That's their literal job to
investigate and catch murderers. Now, this is one example.
Here's another example. She flips a chalkboard over
again but the ABCs are gone. There is a, there is a drawing
of a large creature on the, on the, on the board.
Like counting on my fingers, like how many scientists
different map? It doesn't always have to be
murder, right? Sometimes the inciting incident
is something completely out of your control and thus outside of
your spectrum of involvement. For example, this is a city, he
liked points a whole bunch of really well drawn people.
I can do anything in audio format and they're in these
little houses here. They're going about their day.
Oh, look, here's a little Timmy, Tommy, he's walking around, he's
buying suit for his suit friends.
And then what's this? Oh my I got a Giant Eagle, the
second era co-occur in the audience, who isn't Eagle being
like or perhaps? Not a Giant Eagle.
Perhaps it's some kind of mythical beasts that we have no
understanding of remember several years back when we all
got attacked by mind flayers, remember that whole thing and
Playboy Watership and this whole gaggle of folks have to kill
that thing. What does that happens again?
Right. And they destroy the town of
you're in. Are you responsible for catching
that Beast? Yes, yes, yes, yes.
This is why you're on the rehab, you are not.
You know, who is flows. It's awkward again.
The city guard City guard. He like Wax it.
That's the sea and ABC's City Art not to Playboy Watershed.
Well, he's retired. Oh, I have another question.
Yeah, that what? If in the end we joined the city
guard. Would that be the same thing as
this? Sore.
Well, unfortunately, there are several people who only join the
city guard because of the Call to Adventure so you could do
that. But as a professional therapists
and psychiatrists and Adventure expert, I highly don't recommend
zag kind of person joining the city guard like if you have a
tendency towards anger and violence, And maybe don't have a
super high IQ and don't do well in things like high school or
college. They may be in the city guard.
It's quite frankly only has a six-month training session.
Shooby, one, tell me why, whereas I being a person who had
to study the effects of adventuring on the cytosis, had
to go to school for four years and then another four years and
then of their five years for that one year, I did bad at
school for my third level of schooling but They are
technically trained to handle those things.
Topical. Thank you.
But Glenn, when there isn't
always a city yard in the city, I'm a maybe I live in a town on
the map. It doesn't have a name or
something. What?
when he flips the chalkboard, a large screaming, sound can be
heard from the rafters, Look up immediately, right?
Yeah, I also look up. Everyone will perception.
Death and fenella not so much. You can you recognize that sound
as the adventurers? You are 10 it would make sense.
Why that wouldn't be a familiar sound for you.
You to know that to be the not heard in some time Roar of a
dragon would you would not be familiar with him because you
are a dragon. Born and you haven't seen a
full-fledged dragon and your 30 years.
All right? And then the second sound you
hear is the roof coming off the building and they're in the sky
is a giant full-grown, no sense of humanity and its eyes at all
blue dragon. It is breathing lightning.
It is destroying everything. You hear screams you hear tear.
You see Glen Glen Ross Gary. Three be eaten alive.
And you hear his final words of he says now save, this is what
I'm talking about. Almost immediately ice.
Bring the action. All right, right.
I think I'd be in the same boat. Oh yeah, I'm like crouching.
Ready roll for initiative. That you're up first.
I am. But um, so did the the just
around me with the roof being ripped off?
Are there any like ropes, or any cords dangling from the ceiling
knows? No.
Because they've been taking extra care to make sure nothing
that can be perceived as a weapon is available at the rehab
center. I see, I see they even said use
other types of items to hold the roof Aloft got it.
Let's see that case. I will go ahead and just I'll do
my manifest Echo action for today.
I'll go ahead and get my echo of myself standing in front of the
Dragon. So we can go ahead and start
engaging this thing in combat. So you're just putting a another
version of you. Yeah, it's a copy of me in front
of the Dragon. Okay, cool.
The, the dragon sees it, it's pissed off.
Its goes to swing at it, okay? Okay, um, if you're gonna attack
it, go ahead and do the attack. Sick.
That's 25 head. Yep, vanishes immediately yeah,
great cool. Move for now.
Let me nice shooting over bowl. Full of water for a second.
Please tell me about it doesn't mean going on right now.
Really just need a drop of water.
Dragon is Roars again, the loudly you see a tiefling from
Mohawk, run up to the dragon, try and slay.
It gets cut in half. I put my hand out and just like,
just a drop is really on like okay, whatever.
And then with this drop of water, I'm going to cast a wall
of water. And hopefully try to get it in
between the three of us and the dragon.
Okay. So the defensive maneuver, yeah,
kind of give us some time to maybe if it attacks us defend
this for a second cool. How long that lasts for a quick
question up to 10 minutes? All right, cool.
Yeah, got a copy. Yeah, I drew up a wall of water
on the ground point. You see, within range, it works.
It was like, is there any way I could wrap this around the
dragon kind of trap them for a bit?
What? I just make a straight E20 role
for me, that's if it works, okay?
We're gonna break the rules, we might as well have some fun
14:14. I'm going to say that does not
work. It's a huge fucking Dragon.
Okay. So by you, you start to like,
bend the water around the dragon, but it's got wings of
flutters away from it. Sways back and forth.
It can makes direct eye contact with you.
It's like oh, you want to fucking play, huh?
And then it's Fernando's turn right?
Great. I Am.
I am. Okay, I am going to want to
throw my water bottle down. Oh shit.
It's not because I'm over this shit because without a roof, I'm
probably going to get a sunburn and I just really don't know.
So I am going to I'm gonna run Dash up the back of 10.
In leaping off the top of his head and I'm gonna, I'm gonna
use my longsword and I'm gonna try to straight up, jab it in
the dragon's eye cool make an attack role for me 2020 event
that hits just barely hits. So roll for damage for me.
So 77. Okay, Simon name is pretty good
the over the eyeball. Yeah.
So I can see from the photos. So you you leap off of tin much
of his sugar and I'm sure and your I deserve this girl, you're
launching towards the dragon. Just try to get the height.
You don't quite get to the eyeball, but you do give me a
good stabbed in the chest. Now, the dragon is in the sky.
And you are hanging onto a sword.
I mean laws in here, Brian. So you're a few options here.
You can either keep hanging on for your next turn or you can
let go or you can try blue sword out and let go, I'm gonna
continue to hang on, I'm gonna lose this one.
Great cool. Okay, so the blue dragon is now
going to primarily concentrate on destroying the facility but
you're in the facility. So we're going to just do a good
old cast of lightning. Here's lightning.
Breath in the vicinity of now it extends 60 feet.
Well, these are lower than 21. That is cool everyone.
All right rolling everyone sing. Can we at least get a saving
throw perhaps to try to dodge? Yeah, I was 16 so if you want to
try and Dodge go for it. So everyone make a good
old-fashioned dexterity save Throne before me roll a D20 and
add your dexterity to it and 1419.
That Kuby does out of the way you to take 16 damage back to
me. Okay.
So he's in the sky. Yes the dragon is in the sky.
Okay. With all the the chaos and
destruction of the roof, is there anything that I could
potentially use as a ramp to kind of like launch up to her?
Sure let's say this the dragon was cast as Lightning.
Well, does damage you guys of course.
But then you see like a beam fall out of the sky at an angle,
but it is falling from the sky. So I got to be quick on this.
Yeah, we're going to Tony Hawk this shit.
So here's my, here's my plan, your plan, here's my plan.
I'm gonna go to that beam. I'm going to try to run up the
beam, jump onto the dragon and do what a fighter Ranger do.
His best and do three attacks in one turn.
All right, let's see what happens.
Okay, so first off, we're starting with the beam right?
What would I need to roll for this but let's call that as good
old-fashioned dexterity just stare.
Hmm, no acrobatics, same thing for me.
So either way, it's an eight. Oh yeah, so you try to jump on
the beam and that it's like a seesaw used to jump in the
bottom of it. That's at an angle and the angle
flips and then you slide off of it, okay?
That certainly It's one minute, I'm going to tempt.
The beam falls on someone's foot.
Well, that being said, I'm going to go ahead and instead cast
absorb elements on myself. Okay, would you try to absorb
absorb elements of lasts? Until I am hit with either acid,
cold, fire lightning, or thunder damage.
Once once it happens, I still take the original hit but my
next attack does that damage like as well.
Okay, so that's what I'm doing. I'm trying to Kind of like,
defend against Ride the Lightning, if you will.
Yeah, I'm gonna try it. All right.
Well, I'm just torn because it's a dragon.
I don't want to hurt the dragon. All right.
I'm gonna do. I'm gonna cast.
Hold monster. Okay.
Yeah. They need to make a wisdom
saving throw. I can be one of those.
Okay, paralyzed for the duration.
Well, I'll tell you what. Jacob?
I was 22. Oh gosh, this dragon is a
monster, so, yeah, That value do not successfully.
Hold the monster unfortunately. So the dragon Roars again, flaps
its wings that they said, other swipe at the facility is
crumbling around you you to the monks, I'll try to rush out and
try and do something, but their pacifist damage to the dragon
summer taken songs summer like, reading from the pamphlet, that
he's odd gave them, nothing seems to be working.
It was the dragon which brings us to fenella.
I'm still hanging. There you are.
Sword in the dragons chest. Anybody have any anything you
could like toss up at me a monkey like Words of
Affirmation, you're doing, right?
No. I mean, yeah, it's a solid note
on the anything. Anything I throw up there was
like, as like, like to throw a dick, or you can throw out a
healing plasma, like, like wedge.
I need, I need my sword. I need something to get it out
here, the dragon roar above you again, like I so then Parts of
the walls are like breaking, it's like that.
And so there's just like a little like, a splinter of wood
that I catch and I shove it in between the scales to try to
like wedge my sword out. Okay?
Yeah. Make a call.
You 11, try and launch the sword out.
Yeah, so yeah. If you pulling pulling internal
like regular yourself around, it's really it's really in
there. And part of you is like, wow I
did a good job setting. This thing another person I did
too. Good of a job stabbing this
thing. So you want to make an
alternative me? Punch it punch.
I'm going to up, Kick It Up kick with a little tiny.
Little feet will fashion found striking little hand.
Sure he goes before the unarmed strike and I'm gonna I'm gonna
13 total? Yeah, I know you're late to too
short so you're does not successfully hit the dragon
unfortunately. So the dragon is going to unfurl
its massive wings at this point and is going to do is just as
the good old-fashioned multi attack on the area around you.
So I'm gonna need everyone to make a little bit of another
dexterity saving throw for me for the next three turns. 1414
77 roof, okay? So first thing that happens is
you're going to see a large bowl dragon-shaped claw.
Just come down on the building here.
So 16 damage to each of you again via claw.
A wall comes down behind you. Next we're going to see the tail
fluttering around maellard XA from me.
Oh my God I hate really neat because I only got 30 30 30
Jesus Christ. Okay, well here we go again,
here comes a tale. Oh boy, folks.
Okay, food team, that's 22. Oh my God, damage there.
How are so weird. Everyone's HP right now, 88.
1919. And what the fuck with you?
How I'm built for tanking your all level ten right?
Okay. Yes I guess you are a I am a
fighter and I am. Okay, sure.
I am built to take a hit. So with that in mind I'm gonna
give you a warning for this one. The dragon is inhaling for its
third attack and when I say inhaling, you are seeing a
glowing powerful White Or before.
Moving in its mouth, it is growing to the size of the
building. This is going to be.
It's true lightning, breath attack.
And I'm going to let you know, for the players benefits you can
plan this out. Accordingly to avoid, this is
Sadie, c-19 deck. Save, if you miss, I roll 12d,
tens, yikes. So you would all know what the
fug lightning looks like. So I'm just giving you the
option now to Do whatever you see fit, we should probably work
together. We gotta call the city guard.
You hear a voice from the dragon stomach.
This is too much for the three of us to handle.
One time we need reinforcements who can help out, you see half
of that. CL for those holding a fish Fly
Above you. Yuck, bad enough.
I'm gonna run for it. I'm gonna run to go get help
from the city guard and I cast The Zephyr strike on myself
which makes me 30 feet faster. Ditching my friends in the
process, well, someone's gotta come sure.
Sure. You're holding a city are what
are you two doing? I dropped dropped from my sword.
Well, there's something you can do to in there's a falling
gnome. It's gotta go.
Catch the. Oh my God.
Yeah. Hey Fern.
Can you make and acrobatics role for me?
Yes, save my players here. Okay 2200 now okay, go 20.
So if you see him like try and reach for you, but he has
miscalculated where you're falling.
So you just kind of like her Barrel rolling in the direction
of his arms and you catch her. Oh my God.
Thank you. No.
Thank you. You see a monk run past you with
one eye ball it was like yeah I hear ya.
Yeah bolt. All right.
You are bolting Kuba you at the city guard now.
Yeah, I would have, I would have looked around for the city
guard. Okay.
Yeah. You are you are you were out in
the street? You see a you see a city yard
like cart to City guard pee on the side of the back seat?
That's a backseat driving it. So that's what you see.
Help. Hmm.
The Dragon. I'm a cat.
I don't see color and I jumped. And he jumps out of the car.
Casting a messenger, spell for reinforcements.
A whole bunch of other city arts at Rushing, out of the out of
everywhere, quite frankly, you to get out of the building.
And as you all are, having this happen, you hear a large
deafening explosion. Turn around to see what the
explosion sound comes from. You see the entirety of The
Lonesome duck in ashes. Good thing we got out of there
in time. The dragon turns around and
starts heading towards the rest of the city.
I just sit on the floor. Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, I see, this is what I'm talking about.
Staying near death experiences. As you're all sitting
contemplating comforting one. Another only non-contingent just
kind of some some time. Some time goes by.
I passed that said some time goes by and The city guard does
not defeat the dragon but they do get the dragon to fly off in
a different direction towards the north kind of where coifs
would be, you know the dragons are we where the dragons out of
me? So if this is the sort of flying
north bound in front of The Lonesome duck, you see a whole
bunch of like goblins running over there and building a stage
and putting a Podium on top of that state?
That you look like a cartoon like a dust cloud but it's a
goblin limbs flying around them of the Is it a state of the
podium with a lovely flag? On the front, the flag of bomb
and and and and then an older gentleman walks up there, like
maybe in his 60s, looks very official in a suit.
Nice haircut, nice tie. And this person who you would
all recognize as the president of bomb.
Well, it's over you that you wouldn't recognize them but you
two would know that this is a darn old horse and feather who's
the president of bomb and he relays the following To into a
bird. And he says, this is a national
tragedy for several decades. We have not suffered a dragon
attack. We had been told this was a
relic of the past and now our citizens lay in shambles are
trained guards, were rendered. Useless is the official opinion
of the government of bomb that there's only one course of
action. We can follow in this instance.
First we will rebuild low selflessly Alice, We will chase
down this dragon by any means necessary our country once
believed that the era of Heroes and Adventure was over the
defeating the dungeon program rid us of several of our highly
qualified gifted adventurous. Clearly the need for these
Heroes is not over. I call upon our nation's
greatest hero to once again, pick up his sword Playboy
please. He's we need you, he steps off
the podium and walks away. That man has a growing young for
the record just to decide as a grunk president, who is now made
a call out to A specific my hero to come out of retirement.
Now, let me tell you a little bit about play by Watershed tin
and Fornelli would be familiar with the stories of Playboy
Waters. If he very famously, defeated a
mind. Flayer several decades ago, the
his tales have been epic, he's conquered evil gangs, the
horrible monsters, all sorts of things and when the defeating
the dungeon program is first, Started.
He was their poster, child the first ever person to go through
the program, talk about why he was so sorely needed for the
underserved adventuring community.
And then a scandal broke out about him.
Turns out some of the stories of his adventures may have been
fabricated turns out. He made not have played as large
of a role in those Adventures as the populace had thought before
perhaps he had paid off certain bards to make history.
See more fantastic. Maybe he was stealing credit
from his other more qualified party members several of them
female I might add how could he The only problem is a lot of the
party members. He ventured is didn't live to
tell the tales of their Adventure.
So he had to absorb a lot of the credit and then people learn, he
didn't even go through the defeating the dungeon program.
He was just paid by. He's on Gilligan to say how
important it was. His nothing true anymore.
Now, I will say this is general information that for now.
I may be more familiar with but maybe not the whole story just
because you were doing other shit, 10.
You were a dragon who was living off of Those for a lot of the
time. So the name Playboy Watership
rings a bell, but people who you speak with may have varying
opinions about Playboy Watership, the most important
thing, you all know right now is that important guys asked, I
gotta come fight a dragon. They do a stage real fast and
this is really crazy. You you see a goblin walk past
you like covered in? Sweat missing?
Hey, good job, man. Good job.
It's 11:00. I applaud you, there's great
work. A drink at The Lonesome.
You know, I grew up wanting to be the play Bora Watership of
the sea. Is that what?
That's not a crazy thing and grew up thinking he was a hero,
I mean. when I was a little girl, there was nothing, I
wanted more than to just, you know, be the kind of person that
would keep people safe in my hometown.
It might not be possible to do that anymore.
There's just going to be too big a things to have to fight.
What can we do? Really like feasibly?
What can we literally do about this?
Besides, you know, go find this Old, ex-heroin Point him in the
right direction, you know, like That'd be something.
Wouldn't it? I suppose it would somethings
better than nothing. We can't just leave the
celestials in rubble. We've got to do something.
And just kind of shake, hold my arms, and like, think about it
for a bit. Well, I guess we can go find
Playboy what's his buckets? And we can tell him to get it
into a call of action and if we and if he needs help then we can
certainly do what we do best. Yeah.
For another, what do you think? Honestly.
I was kind of excited to stop all this move to the suburbs and
we did we not see the Carnage back there, but you gestured to
the back. You hear another explosion the
us. Next time.
Do we were horrible? Same.
We could use them. It's a work.
Yeah, she has a point though, like we're both three feet tall
and then we have 33, thank you. Oh my gosh.
But and then we have this guy like mr.
What do you do? What do you want?
Six foot eight 6532, anything to that Beast?
You look ridiculous to and he's on his way to take a seriously.
Even if we do find him. Well, I don't know.
What do you guys suggest that we just sit here and do nothing.
I pull out the pamphlet, have your pamphlets.
I turn it in with my name on it, maybe a little bit, hold on to
things. It's what I do Boy.
Might there be anything in the pamphlet?
That would have no describe the tens five-step program or
whatever. Boy were there, you open the
pamphlets and it makes reference to a book that you should have
been given at orientation. You open the defeating the
dungeon book. Yes, you open the book, you find
a table of contents. In the first thing you're going
to see. There are the five tenets of
defeating the dungeon, which I will now read to you.
Okay? Step one and of course, is
written by dr. Dee's on Gilligan his portraits
in the back, you're probably looking at bat 10 the whole
time, Dragonborn, that one admit that you have a problem, your
life has become unmanageable. The quest has cost you something
your health, your family, family or sanity and innumerable amount
of things, it consumes your everyday, thoughts and actions
you jump when you hear a loud sound.
You question, every passerby thinking they may be linked to a
greater evil. You can't go on like this and
it's time to accept that fact step to bury your hatchets,
remove the Temptations from your life.
You may never forget how to use the devices.
Your vices are as much a part of you as anything else.
But the temptation to use, them can be removed.
Bury your weapons are the pages from your spell book.
Entrust the items that causes harm to you and others in the
hands of those who wish to see you.
Well, number three, confront, your flaws, there are powers
higher than you recognize that there are times you have been at
fault recognize that you can't do everything recognize that you
are not, and will not be a perfect hero.
Accept the fact that you cannot accept things like failure loss
or Injustice. These are a part of the world
and you are at odds with the natural order.
Do not seek to overcome these obstacles.
Equals nearly faced them place the obstacles in the hands of
those more qualified number for repair.
What is broken? Even the noble Quest, leaves
heartache in its wake. You are never going to be able
to fix all of it. Try seek reparations, reconnect,
those who unfairly tossed, you aside return, to your family and
reinsert yourself into their lives.
Redefine, your relationship with the world.
Heal yourself through healing others and finally seek peace.
These steps are endless. Darkness is the partner of
light. Not its enemy.
Find the things that bring you genuine joy and pursue them
accept your limitations do right?
Be present. Recognize that failure does not
mean defeat What do step one again, so admit that you have a
problem. I don't even try to talk to him.
Is that the plan? The dragon is not our problem.
I think we are. I think what it all boils down
to is, we need help and we can't fix this problem.
Well, that's very nice. The one place that was willing
to help us just got blown to Smithereens.
Well, I mean, I kind of like close the book and or what is
it? He was in the front page.
He said Is awesome Backpage. Yeah, backpack of the cover you
know the the ports of the author's attitude Jimmy's on
Gilligan is where he went to smuggle.
Yeah I'd flip to that and just point to the to the Dragonborn
guys. Like we need to find this guy.
Don't think anyone can help out. It should be the guy who wrote
the book, right? From tins point of view.
It's like shimmering lights around around the author.
Doctor is out looking This is making more sense to me.
Honestly. I mean like what are we going to
do? Go chase the dragon and just
like getting Vapor will die. Yeah.
Technically what we are doing is chasing a dragon just a dragon
board. I mean, but this one isn't
trying to burn down half the country and I think this one, we
can at least start a helpful conversation.
Yes. And so, it shall be on the back
of the book here, as you're reading it, you of course, see
the bio of dr. Izadi gillikin.
And it says dr. Gilley can currently resides at
his home in billina located in Quacks.
So, Bill. And I, it is, is anyone know
what that is? Well, let's see the map.
You were the one given a map? Yeah, I pull out my map.
You have a Mac. Okay.
Wonderful. Quacks would I flipped it upside
down? Anybody want to make a history?
Check on how to read the map. I, I will let I will let firm
roll with Advantage. I will let tin rule normally and
I will let Kuby both Advantage. Perfect.
I don't need to roll for disadvantaged.
I got a one of my first real. Yeah you have the map upside
down for sure, history 327. Okay.
Yeah. I don't even want to say mine
but I will for humorous effect, I rolled it to and my history is
minus 14. Never lived.
A lot of places for needs a map when you have the seed.
Again, the stars above, oh my God, shut up, Sheepishly hand
over the map upside down. Of course, you are.
Currently in love Silesia Alice and which is a, you know, west
of your original Hometown. As we establish of Le jellia,
and you would happen to know that quacks is immediately North
following what are called The Rack mountains.
And if you follow the rack mountains and making a right
turn essentially at the correct Locale, you are on the path to
Billa. It is about 3 days journey by
vehicle. Well, we don't have a vehicle.
Did anyone come here by vehicle like train or II came by train?
Oh, it's okay. So, is that maybe there's a
train that goes to today's to Billings, Montana?
As you start deciding, if you're going to steal a train, you're
going to hear some some general sirens and some voices in the
city here, and what are those sirens and voices in the All
calling out to do. Well you'll just have to find
out on the next episode of defeating the dungeon whoo
everyone that's Jenny nordine. Playing the Tina, Kuby Jacob
Moore playing tenly worm and Evan often backer playing for
nella tune in next Monday. That's right.
Around waiting two weeks. Coming out next week for you
only on game master Monday.