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Turn in your Bibles to Matthew 
chapter 19. 

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Matthew 19. 
I'll remind you we are in the 

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very, very, very end of Jesus's 
ministry. 

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You think I got a lot of 
chapters left in Matthew? 

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Yeah, but they all cover a 
really, really short period now.

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So we're probably in the last 
three months at this point. 

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Jesus is completely fixated on 
Jerusalem and on the cross 

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everywhere. 
He's passing through at this 

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point. 
This is his last time coming 

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through. 
This isn't the Grand Tour 

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anymore. 
He is focused. 

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He has been telling his 
disciples multiple times, I'm 

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going to Jerusalem, I'm going to
suffer many things. 

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Peter already rebuked and said, 
no, Lord, we're not going to do 

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that. 
Jesus said, yes, we are. 

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So he's been walking forward, 
He's been moving forward. 

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Now here we are in Matthew 19 
verses one through 12 is where 

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we're going to be today. 
Now when Jesus had finished 

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these sayings, He went away from
Galilee and entered the region 

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of Judea beyond the Jordan, and 
large crowds followed him, and 

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he healed them there. 
And Pharisees came up to him and

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tested him by asking, Is it 
lawful to divorce one's wife for

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any 'cause he answered, Have you
not read that He who created 

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them from the beginning made 
them male and female, and said, 

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Therefore a man shall leave his 
father and his mother, and hold 

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fast to his wife, and the two 
shall become one flesh. 

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So there are no longer 2 but one
flesh. 

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What therefore God has joined 
together, Let not man separate. 

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They said to him. 
Why then does Moses command one 

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to give a certificate of divorce
and to send her away? 

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He said to them, Because of your
hardness of heart, Moses allowed

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you to divorce your wives. 
But from the beginning it was 

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not so. 
And I say to you, whoever 

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divorces his wife, except for 
sexual immorality, and marries 

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another, commits adultery. 
The disciples said to him, if 

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such is the case of a man with 
his wife, it's better to not 

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marry. 
But he said to them, not 

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everyone can receive this 
saying, but only those to whom 

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it is given. 
For there are eunuchs who have 

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been so from birth, and there 
are eunuchs who have been made 

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eunuchs by men, and there are 
eunuchs who have made themselves

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eunuchs for the sake of the 
Kingdom of heaven. 

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Let the one who is able to 
receive this, receive it. 

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Let's pray. 
God, thank you so much for your 

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promise. 
Thank you so much for your 

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design. 
Thank you so much for your gift.

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Thank you so much for this 
passage. 

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Jesus, you're instructing, 
You're strengthening your 

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teaching. 
Lord, you're helping your 

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disciples. 
You're correcting the Pharisees 

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once again. 
But today, Lord, your Saints 

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have gathered. 
And so whatever the need is 

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among this body, whatever the 
revelation is that you want to 

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bring, Lord, we just say they 
were open to it. 

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We love Your word and we love 
you, and we receive it with 

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humility. 
We receive it with the grace. 

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We receive it with the weight, 
with all of it. 

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Lord, bring the full import of 
what You want into each of our 

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hearts. 
That marriage would be held in 

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honor, that we would prioritize,
That we would prioritize holy 

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living whether we're married or 
whether we're single. 

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And that we would understand the
weight that you have put upon 

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this sacred thing that you built
and that you established even in

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the beginning. 
God, I pray you protect the 

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Saints today from condemnation, 
but I pray that you would fill 

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them with strength and 
conviction. 

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In Jesus name we thank you. 
Amen. 

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So this is the second and the 
final time in Matthew that Jesus

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addresses divorce. 
He's actually addressed it once 

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before and we preached on it. 
Then here he's actually not just

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settling a debate, which it 
seems like he's about to do. 

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He's revealing the heart of God 
for a matter. 

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Like I said a moment ago, Jesus 
is in his final leg of his 

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journey. 
He is never going to pass this 

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way again. 
He is headed to Jerusalem. 

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He's headed to the cross. 
We're looking here in verse two 

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large crowds followed him. 
So large crowds we know at this 

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point means thousands and 
thousands and thousands of 

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people. 
Thankfully, we've got a couple 

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of the miracles where the 
disciples made note of it very 

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specifically because if they 
just had large crowds, we're 

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like, oh, we're talking a couple
100 people maybe. 

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We're talking maybe 500 people. 
No, no, no, 5000 men alone one 

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day were fed. 
So that meant upwards of 20,000,

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potentially conservatively, 
we're certainly at 10,000 people

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that day, but you could go a lot
bigger than that depending on, 

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you know, how, how you could 
measure it. 

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But the point is large crowds 
means large crowds. 

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Everybody has heard about Jesus.
Everybody knows somebody who's 

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been healed or somebody who's 
walked with him or seen him 

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teach or been there when he did 
something powerful. 

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Everybody throughout the entire 
region knows what's going on the

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water, the the, the water 
temperature is rising and Jesus 

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is raising it deliberately. 
And he's going to continue to do

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that, especially when he gets 
into Jerusalem his last week, 

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we're going to see him drop 
bombs on the Pharisees, heads in

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front of everybody. 
He's been doing it here and 

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there, but he's coming into 
their home base, what they think

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is their turf. 
And then he's going to bring 

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strong correction to everybody, 
which is going to make the cross

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really inevitable by his design,
by his choice. 

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But here we have Jesus being 
approached by thousands. 

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And of course, Matthew makes 
reference again and he healed 

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them there. 
Jesus always doing what Jesus 

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does, healing people. 
Why? 

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Because God is good and part of 
his nature and character is to 

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heal our bodies. 
Why do you keep saying it, 

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pastor? 
Because it keeps showing up in 

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the Bible. 
I didn't put it in there. 

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It just keeps coming to us every
single time we read through the 

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gospels. 
We just keep seeing Jesus the 

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healer. 
Christ is the healer. 

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But more importantly, Saints, 
it's important for you to not 

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believe that Christ is a healer 
or Christ is the healer. 

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You need to be able to say 
Christ is my healer, Jesus is my

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healer. 
Not just Jesus did it in 

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Jerusalem, not just Jesus did it
in Israel. 

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Jesus is your healer, your 
healer. 

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He wants to bless and heal and 
strengthen your bodies as well. 

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Keep going in verse 3. 
And the Pharisees came up to him

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and tested him by asking. 
You would have thought these 

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guys would have learned their 
lesson by now. 

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Every time they think they're 
testing the master, they get 

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exposed and humiliated and he 
outdoes them over and over and 

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over again. 
They're testing him, though, on 

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a hot debate in that day. 
So remember, there are many 

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rabbis. 
Jesus is the rabbi. 

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To call him a rabbis and is like
the understatement of a 

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lifetime. 
But there are many rabbis who go

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around in teaching. 
So we've got our Jewish 

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synagogues and rabbis would kind
of work the preaching circuit. 

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So as a rabbi, I'd come to your 
synagogue for a few weeks and 

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maybe preach there and then I 
maybe go somewhere else. 

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But different rabbis would have 
different teachings and they 

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would have different 
interpretations of the law. 

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So Rabbi so and so says this or 
Rabbi so and so says that, where

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there were two famous rabbis of 
that day and they had two 

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completely different teachings 
on divorce. 

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One of them taught a man could 
essentially divorce his wife for

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like anything. 
Like if she burned the toast, 

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then it's like, yeah, well, you 
know, it's kind of probably time

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to trade in and get a new model.
And then the other, the other 

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rabbi, his perspective was much 
more conservative and he 

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basically was saying you can't 
get a divorce for any reason 

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whatsoever. 
So there's these, there's this 

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hot debate happening at that 
time. 

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And you can imagine what, what, 
which, which side do you think 

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sinful flesh would want to tend 
towards? 

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You only get one guess. 
So sinful flesh is going to want

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to tend towards selfishness. 
And you know, for the men who 

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had that authority to do so, it 
was a, a real problem. 

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And of course, the disciples 
basically reveal their 

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perspective here as well. 
But these two rabbis, they're 

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teaching different things. 
And you notice how when Jesus 

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answers, he doesn't quote either
rabbi. 

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So he doesn't say I'm going to 
take the liberal view. 

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He doesn't say I'm going to take
the conservative view. 

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He says, well, this is the view 
I'm about to give you the view. 

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Not well, ironically, it ends up
being the conservative view, but

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not for the sake of being 
conservative. 

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It's just the truth. 
It's kind of funny that happens 

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oftentimes in the modern day as 
well. 

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Are you liberal or are you 
conservative? 

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Well, I follow Christ and that's
my priority. 

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And the Bible shapes the way I 
think. 

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That's right. 
Well, how do you vote? 

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Well, that's going to bring me 
over here towards conservative 

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voting values, but not for the 
sake of being conservative. 

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It's for the sake of I'm going 
to focus on. 

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So wherever that lands me on any
particular day, it's always 

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going to land me on the 
Scriptures. 

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That's the priority. 
So Jesus is saying, I'm not, 

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I'll take the liberal view, I'll
take the conservative. 

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No, this is the view. 
Well, that happens because I 

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don't care about your, your 
perceptions of it. 

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I'm just telling you how I've 
landed on it. 

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And this is where my convictions
lie. 

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So Jesus answers them. 
The Pharisees ask him, is it 

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lawful to divorce one's wife for
any 'cause they want to hear? 

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Yeah, yeah, you can do whatever 
you want, man. 

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Any reason she burns the toast. 
Enough is enough. 

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Get rid of her. 
He answered. 

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Have you not read? 
He who created them from the 

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beginning made them male and 
female and said, therefore a man

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shall leave his father and his 
mother and hold fast to his 

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wife, and the two shall become 
one flesh. 

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So they're no longer 2, but one 
flesh. 

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So that's enough, right? 
You already got the spirit of 

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his answer with that, with that.
But now he says I'm going to 

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send it home and let, let there 
be no confusion or let there be 

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no question what therefore God 
has joined together. 

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Let not man separate. 
He gave his answer. 

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He didn't say I'm side with this
rabbi. 

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I'm side with that rabbi. 
I said this is what the Lord 

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wanted from the beginning. 
This is what God wanted from the

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beginning, guys. 
And they're like, yeah, yeah, 

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yeah. 
And he goes, So therefore, what?

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God has joined together, let man
not separate, they said to him, 

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but why then does Moses? 
So we'll get to that part here 

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in a few minutes. 
But Jesus doesn't cite anybody 

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except himself inciting the 
Scripture. 

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Have you not read? 
This isn't just a question, it's

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an insult and it's a rebuke. 
Spoiler alert, Yeah, they've 

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read. 
They've got it read. 

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They've got it memorized. 
They know the Scriptures. 

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So this is another way that 
Jesus is is just showing his 

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superiority over them because he
is superior over them. 

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And he's saying, have you not 
read, which is like nobody would

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say that to a Pharisee. 
Nobody like Jim Bob walking down

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the street, regular Jew boy just
doing his thing. 

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He would never say something 
like that to a Pharisee and 

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Jesus goes, have you not read? 
They go on, you know, we've 

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read. 
He's going well. 

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Act like it then. 
Have you not read? 

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Of course they've read, but they
haven't submitted to it. 

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They haven't absorbed it, and 
they have focused on exceptions 

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instead of focusing on the rule.
You ever been there? 

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Everybody in the room who has 
flesh has been there, right? 

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Like I want to focus on the 
exception. 

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I hear the Word of God come and 
I go, but what about this unique

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circumstance that I could 
concoct for you? 

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Well, do you face that often? 
Well, no, but if I ever did, I 

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want to know. 
Well, how about you just focus 

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on what you're given? 
There's plenty of wholesome 

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generalities from Scripture that
I should focus on, and I'd do 

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real well if I'd start walking 
in those things just to walk in 

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the general will of God. 
A lot of times the details will 

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sort themselves out, but what 
you'll find is the hard heart 

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always latches on to exceptional
circumstances. 

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The hard heart, even while a 
sermon is being preached, 

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continues to grasp at the What 
about isms the whole time. 

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But but I've got a story and I 
know a friend and I've got a 

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It's OK to have wise and 
respectful questions and we can 

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process things. 
But as I'm hearing the word of 

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God preached, as I'm coming to 
the Scriptures, I should always 

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be going. 
Lord transform me, Lord 

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transform me. 
My mind needs to be renewed, 

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that's why I came to you Lord, 
like you already made me new in 

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my spirit. 
I am a new creation. 

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Old things have passed away, all
things have become new. 

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00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,480
Hallelujah. 
Praise God, thank you for the 

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00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:29,560
miracle of the new birth. 
And yet my mind, I still have 

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some trouble with my mind and I 
need to continually be 

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transformed here. 
So this is the priority. 

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00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:39,320
Jesus is focusing on the 
intention of God instead of the 

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00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:41,640
exception that man wants to 
focus on. 

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What about these exceptions? 
What about these specifics? 

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00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:50,680
What about this unique story? 
So what we find here is Jesus 

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00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,840
absolutely has answered their 
question. 

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00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,920
Can a man divorce his wife for 
any reason? 

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00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:59,360
No, of course not. 
In fact, Jesus, Jesus tightens 

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00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,600
the standard so much that it 
makes them squirm. 

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00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:06,040
Not only can you not divorce for
any reason you want, you can't 

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divorce for any reason. 
Period. 

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00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,200
Then only when pressed because 
that's where you left it. 

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00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,840
He said what what God has joined
together. 

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Let man not separate and he 
stopped and he was going to that

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00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,600
would have been the end of it. 
We would have no more record of 

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00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,480
Jesus saying anything else 
except the exception is so we're

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00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:30,960
going but wait, but wait I but 
what but what about Moses? 

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00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,920
And then Jesus brings in the 
exception. 

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00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,840
He goes, well, with the 
exception of sexual morality, 

263
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:39,800
otherwise. 
So, so it's so interesting how 

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00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,400
God's normative standards are to
be taken as obvious. 

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00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,440
And then he says, well, are 
there exceptions? 

266
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:49,080
Well, well, yeah. 
Could there be an exception? 

267
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,440
Well, well, yeah. 
But that's not the normative 

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00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,400
standard. 
That's not, that's not where 

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00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,040
we're living. 
That's not how we're supposed to

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00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,920
be functioning. 
Like this is the normative 

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00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,720
standard. 
This should be getting 99.999% 

272
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,360
of your focus and meditation 
when you're considering the 

273
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:09,080
subject matter. 
What about yeah, yes, yeah yeah.

274
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:13,280
There's there's legitimate 
opportunities for the severance 

275
00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,120
of a marriage, but those are so 
extreme. 

276
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:21,480
And So what should be rare that 
like that shouldn't be your 

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00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,120
focus and meditation. 
Now for those who it applies to 

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00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,080
it certainly applies and it 
becomes a priority, right. 

279
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:29,400
But for many that's not what's 
going on. 

280
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:33,040
But people who, who, who haven't
had their spouse commit 

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00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,120
adultery, they've, they've also 
just gotten divorced because 

282
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,480
they wanted to get divorced and 
because they said, well, it 

283
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,720
doesn't work anymore. 
Or, you know, I've, I've fallen 

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00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,760
out of love or we don't see 
things the same way anymore. 

285
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,080
There's all kinds of storylines 
that get built around this, all 

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00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,040
kinds of other exceptions. 
And well, is that the 

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00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,040
abandonment that Paul talks 
about? 

288
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:55,040
Or is my spouse not willing to 
live at peace with me because 

289
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:56,520
they're a believer? 
I'm not a believer. 

290
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,720
These are things that should be 
walked out with wisdom. 

291
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,280
These are things that should be 
walked out with your pastor. 

292
00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:05,320
These are things that should be 
walked out slowly and humbly. 

293
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,320
So, pastor, are there 
opportunities? 

294
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,680
Yeah. 
This is my only disclaimer. 

295
00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:10,680
I'm going to move back to the 
text after this moment. 

296
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,840
So are there exceptions? 
Yeah. 

297
00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,040
But we don't preach sermons 
about exceptions. 

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00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,520
We preach sermons about what the
Word of God is teaching and 

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00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,800
emphasizing. 
But I have a question. 

300
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,360
Then ask me. 
And I love you, and I'm going to

301
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,800
talk with you and help you 
however I can. 

302
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,800
It's no big deal. 
It's OK. 

303
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,320
We're family. 
That's what families do. 

304
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,560
That's good. 
Amen. 

305
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,080
So, like I said, that's why I 
prayed. 

306
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,920
And in my preparation, I prayed 
that that my church will feel no

307
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,080
condemnation, but that you would
feel conviction and that we 

308
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,760
would hold marriage in high 
honor as God does. 

309
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:41,640
And that's the priority that 
Jesus is doing here with this 

310
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,800
text and with this situation. 
So can a man divorce? 

311
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,480
No. 
And again, Jesus raises the 

312
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,360
standard like he always does, 
and then he mentions the 

313
00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,080
exception. 
But when he mentions the 

314
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,960
exception, it's just that it's 
an exception. 

315
00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,760
It's not a strategy, it's not an
exit door, It's just a well, 

316
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,680
yeah, since you brought up that 
very specific scenario, yes, 

317
00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,000
I'll give you a very specific 
answer. 

318
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:07,200
But Jesus wants to bring them 
back to the point, but they 

319
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,240
don't want to go back to the 
point. 

320
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:11,240
They want to go to. 
How do how can I find my out? 

321
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:15,240
If you're looking for the out, 
you shouldn't even never go in. 

322
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:18,880
If if you're if you're worried 
about the out, you're not 

323
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:20,320
qualified to go in to begin 
with. 

324
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,640
You should stay away from going 
in, which is why he goes to talk

325
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,880
about eunuchs afterwards because
he's going. 

326
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,120
Look, if you don't have the 
proper understanding what 

327
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:32,280
marriage is, you don't marriage.
It's not for you. 

328
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:36,600
If you can't understand and 
commit to what it is, then you 

329
00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:41,400
don't do it. 
Let's keep going. 

330
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,160
Verse four, he answered, have 
you not read he who created them

331
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,600
from the beginning made them 
male and female and said, 

332
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,120
therefore let a man leave his 
father and mother and hold fast 

333
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,920
to his wife and the two should 
become one flesh. 

334
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:59,400
By reaffirming male and female 
here, Jesus defines marriage 

335
00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,680
without apology, one man and one
woman. 

336
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,600
That is not a cultural 
construct. 

337
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,680
It is God's design from the 
Garden of Eden. 

338
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
Simple stuff here. 
So just to give you a quick 

339
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,240
apologetics lesson, if it could 
even be called that, oftentimes 

340
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,359
people will say really foolish 
things like Jesus didn't say 

341
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:17,920
anything about. 
And then you fill in the blank 

342
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:20,760
here or Jesus never said 
anything about this subject 

343
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:23,359
matter or that subject matter. 
Most of the time they're 

344
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,079
incorrect and they don't 
understand that he did. 

345
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,200
But one that's really common is 
Jesus never said anything about 

346
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:32,280
homosexuality, which there's a 
multiple problems there. 

347
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:35,560
So the first one is that the 
whole Bible is the word of God. 

348
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,680
So all of scripture like Jesus 
isn't like some rando character 

349
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:44,120
who shows up in the Bible 
suddenly as non believers think 

350
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:47,080
about him. 
The whole Bible Jesus is the 

351
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:50,000
word of God made flesh and he is
the so. 

352
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,280
Which brings up an interesting 
question right? 

353
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:56,480
So like what was Jesus's form 
before he became flesh? 

354
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,840
Because he was the word in the 
beginning was the word and the 

355
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,040
word was with God and the word 
was God. 

356
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,880
So Jesus is the word of God, 
which is just fascinating and 

357
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,600
wonderful. 
But the word became flesh. 

358
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,400
He wasn't always flesh. 
Now he is flesh and he will 

359
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,320
always be flesh, but it's 
interesting. 

360
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,080
So the point is when people 
think Jesus never said anything 

361
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,840
about hang on, the whole Bible 
belongs to him. 

362
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,600
The whole Bible is about him. 
So all of scripture is God 

363
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,120
breathed. 
So we have plenty of teaching on

364
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,960
all kinds of things. 
But even then subjects where the

365
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,360
scripture is silent. 
I'm taking a sidebar here. 

366
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:34,880
Even where the scripture is 
truly silent, like we could come

367
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,920
up with some weird and bizarre 
concepts, right? 

368
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,920
And we could say, what about 
this? 

369
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,720
Like, for example, the Scripture
doesn't technically say that a 

370
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,160
man cannot turn into a woman and
a woman can't turn into a man. 

371
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,200
It doesn't say that, right? 
But the Scripture takes so many 

372
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,640
things for granted. 
There's so many things that the 

373
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:53,520
Scripture assumes because they 
are natural. 

374
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,200
And I don't mean natural as far 
as like look at the trees and 

375
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,320
the wind. 
I just mean that the natural 

376
00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,200
state of the Lord's design for 
things. 

377
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,880
So the Lord, for example, takes 
for granted that you love 

378
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,000
yourself. 
That's not a bad thing. 

379
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,400
The scripture takes it for 
granted that a man would love 

380
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,360
himself, that a woman would love
herself. 

381
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:12,440
It's not evil, It's not selfish.
The Lord takes it for granted. 

382
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,800
The Lord takes for granted that 
you'll love your spouse. 

383
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,200
The Lord takes for granted that 
you'll love your children. 

384
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:21,360
These are natural things that 
should flow automatically out of

385
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,520
a healthy and appropriate life. 
So back to the point here. 

386
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,600
Did Jesus say anything about 
homosexuality? 

387
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,440
Technically no. 
Also, it's a completely 

388
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,280
irrelevant point. 
It's not some nail in the 

389
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,040
coffin. 
God made them male and female is

390
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,400
Jesus's point. 
He's just emphasizing God's 

391
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,600
design again and saying he made 
them male and female from the 

392
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:44,360
beginning. 
That's what marriage is. 

393
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,800
Any other variation is a 
distortion and a perversion. 

394
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,200
That's all. 
Satan takes what God intended as

395
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,600
good in every area, in 
everything, and he distorts and 

396
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,880
perverts it. 
Everything is God's invention. 

397
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,800
Everything belongs to the Lord. 
And then Satan says, well, I 

398
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,320
will flip it upside down and I 
will pervert the thing. 

399
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,480
So then we have many variations 
and many things. 

400
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,720
But Saints, don't be ashamed of 
your Bible. 

401
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,480
Don't be ashamed of what God's 
design is. 

402
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,640
Be bold and be thankful for it 
because it is what people 

403
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,920
actually need. 
God's guardrails and standards 

404
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,280
and boundaries are actually what
make our experience wonderful. 

405
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,760
I spent a lot of time on the 
road with Natalie this past 

406
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,400
week. 
There's a lot of guardrails out 

407
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,760
there on those interstates. 
That is to make your trip 

408
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:30,480
better, not worse, because if 
you go past that, if there 

409
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,000
wasn't a guardrail and you went 
past that, you're going to die 

410
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,880
because there's a giant ravine 
over there. 

411
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,320
So the guardrails are servants 
and blessings, not who do they 

412
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,920
think they are? 
I'm free. 

413
00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,520
I want real freedom. 
Well, you're free to go die 

414
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,280
without a guardrail. 
But the standards of God are 

415
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,720
blessings to humanity. 
They are not only rules, 

416
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,600
although they are rules, and 
your New Testament has many of 

417
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,360
them. 
By the way, contrary to popular 

418
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,040
belief, that's the Old 
Testament. 

419
00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:04,680
There's a lot of commands in the
New Testament, like 1000 or more

420
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:09,280
in the New Testament. 
But Jesus has a lot to say about

421
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,080
a lot of things. 
But the point is here, yes, 

422
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,720
Jesus's emphasis is there's male
and there's female. 

423
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:19,440
That settles a lot of debate and
conversation in our culture, in 

424
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,360
our world. 
I know that many of you already 

425
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,840
know that, but I want you to 
understand why you can know 

426
00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:28,440
these things. 
Keep going here. 

427
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,120
Verse 5. 
Therefore a man shall leave his 

428
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,160
father and his mother and hold 
fast to his wife, and the two 

429
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,320
shall become one flesh. 
We'll take another thing for 

430
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:38,880
granted here that Scripture is 
implying. 

431
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,680
And a wife should leave her 
father and mother and cling to 

432
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,680
her husband. 
So it's not like only the 

433
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:45,240
husband's supposed to. 
No, they both are. 

434
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:47,960
Well, she's living at her house 
and he's like, this doesn't make

435
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,920
any sense. 
Of course it's taking for 

436
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,520
granted here. 
This is the natural thing. 

437
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,840
This should take place. 
They are being joined together. 

438
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:58,120
They're no longer 2, but they 
are one flesh. 

439
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,160
What does this mean? 
This means that your spouse is 

440
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,960
your closest family member in 
the entire world. 

441
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,320
Closer than your father and 
closer than your mother, right? 

442
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,000
I just pulled that right from 
the Bible. 

443
00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,040
Your spouse is your closest 
family member in the entire 

444
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,440
world. 
Closer than your children. 

445
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,040
You and your spouse have become 
one. 

446
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,200
No other human outranks them. 
Not your brother, not your 

447
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,600
sister, not your son, not your 
daughter, not your boss, not 

448
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,440
your pastor, not your friend, 
not your president. 

449
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,200
If the whole entire world was 
about to fall off of a Cliff and

450
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,920
you had to choose between saving
the entire population of the 

451
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:38,200
human race or saving your 
spouse, you save your spouse. 

452
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,000
And your spouse should know that
without hesitation that that's 

453
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,040
how it would happen. 
Now, husbands, of course, we 

454
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:47,400
would say like, don't save us. 
We would say that because our 

455
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,080
wife would be like, I'm going to
say like save the whole world. 

456
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,960
Like this is a pretty epic way 
to go. 

457
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,760
But wives especially know that 
their husbands immediately 

458
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:57,840
choose them. 
But the wife chooses her husband

459
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,080
and then she obeys her husband 
when he says, no, don't save me.

460
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,320
You can go save the world. 
That's how that scenario should 

461
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,120
play out. 
You should both have this 

462
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:09,400
certainty and this confidence 
and know that this is the heart 

463
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,240
of the one that they exchanged 
vows with. 

464
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,400
And that's a bond that cannot be
broken. 

465
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,720
It can't be broken by sickness 
or by poverty or by burnt toast,

466
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,600
or by inconvenience or by stress
or by boredom, or by age or by 

467
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,120
income, or by body fat or by 
wrinkles. 

468
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:28,600
Am I being real enough? 
Marriage vows are sacred. 

469
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,440
Marriage is a covenant, not a 
contract. 

470
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:33,640
So a contract is based on 
performance. 

471
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,480
And it gives me lots of outs in 
business, we use contracts as we

472
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:39,320
should. 
And we're saying, hey, if you 

473
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,080
violate this thing that poo I've
got. 

474
00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:42,760
I got a lot of exits built in 
here. 

475
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,520
Got a lot of exit doors built 
in. 

476
00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,240
I can I can scoot out any 
direction I want to. 

477
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:49,520
Marriage doesn't have a bunch of
exit doors built in. 

478
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,280
Is there an exit door? 
Well, yeah, technically, but 

479
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:55,200
that's not the focus for 
anybody. 

480
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,200
Anything. 
Well, I just want to. 

481
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:02,200
Yeah, well, there is, but that's
like super rare and frankly 

482
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,880
really unlikely in a lot of 
cases. 

483
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:07,320
So just focus on making the 
thing thrive as it should. 

484
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:11,560
Marriage is a covenant. 
Covenant is based on my promise.

485
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,400
And when things get hard, you 
don't start looking for an 

486
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,000
escape hatch. 
You remember your vows. 

487
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:24,080
For better or worse. 
You said it, so live it. 

488
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,440
When marriage feels dry, what do
you do? 

489
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:31,640
You water it when it when you 
feel distant, you close the gap.

490
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,560
When something's off, you look 
to yourself 1st. 

491
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,080
And you never use divorce as a 
weapon. 

492
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:42,200
You never weaponize divorce. 
You always focus on what can I 

493
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,360
be doing differently? 
What can I be doing better? 

494
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,360
And you say, how can I continue 
to keep my vows? 

495
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,760
Act like marriage is lifelong, 
because it is. 

496
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:57,240
That's what covenant love does. 
What if Jesus treated the church

497
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:05,280
the way society treats marriage?
But that's what marriage is. 

498
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,000
It is a picture of Christ and 
his bride. 

499
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:10,080
That was the Lord's intention 
always is that it would actually

500
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:14,080
be that picture, so that the 
church, the Lord, forms 

501
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,280
marriage. 
Technically, in the timeline of 

502
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,640
things, marriage came first and 
the church came later. 

503
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:22,840
But in God's heart and his 
design, marriage was always to 

504
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,400
be a representation of Christ in
the church. 

505
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:29,640
So chronologically, it seems as 
though marriage comes first and 

506
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,720
the church comes second. 
But basically, the Lord has 

507
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,120
always had the church in his 
heart. 

508
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:37,600
And he says, I'm going to give 
them marriage as a picture so 

509
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,960
they can see what it's really 
supposed to look like. 

510
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,560
And now our marriages preach the
gospel. 

511
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,800
It's another opportunity so that
though an unbelieving world can 

512
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:50,520
look into a Christian marriage 
and say, wow, if that's Jesus in

513
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,080
the church, the husband and the 
wife, sign me up. 

514
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:56,520
Sign me up for the Kingdom of 
God because look how much this 

515
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,040
husband loves and treasures and 
adores this woman. 

516
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,960
Look how much she honors and 
reveres and respects this man. 

517
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,440
Look how they both thrive in 
God's good design. 

518
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,560
If that's a picture, it is 
though your, your home is to be 

519
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,720
an embassy of the Kingdom of 
heaven and you are ambassadors 

520
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,800
who are representing and showing
this is a picture of heaven on 

521
00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:16,520
earth. 
It's a micro picture. 

522
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:18,880
It's a small picture, but it is 
a clear picture. 

523
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,280
It's a good picture. 
Look at the sacrifice, look at 

524
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:26,800
the way this man will lay down 
his life for his love and look 

525
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:30,880
at the way she responds with 
gratitude and joy and delight. 

526
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,680
This is the picture of Christ 
and His bride. 

527
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:39,880
This is His intention for us. 
Keep going here in verse 7 they 

528
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,800
said to him, so Jesus has just 
told them what God has joined 

529
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:44,240
together. 
Let man not separate. 

530
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:46,800
He's saying marriage is sacred, 
marriage is important. 

531
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:51,440
Well, God is brought together. 
Don't separate and they go here 

532
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,960
they are in verse 7. 
Why then did Moses command one 

533
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,720
to give her certificate of 
divorce and to send her away? 

534
00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,840
Which is a really interesting 
way of phrasing things because 

535
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,760
spoiler alert, Moses did not 
command you to get a divorce. 

536
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,360
But if you're listening to these
guys talk about it, like, why 

537
00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:11,600
did Moses command us to get 
divorces then like interesting 

538
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,920
argument, right? 
Which is how a hard heart always

539
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,720
argues. 
Well, you said this. 

540
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,240
I didn't say it that way. 
Well, you said this. 

541
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,680
I did say that second thing, but
I didn't say the first thing you

542
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,520
said. 
Let's be clear, let's be honest,

543
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:26,680
let's be fair, let's be accurate
and let's stick with what is 

544
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:29,480
actually said. 
But Jesus just takes the bait 

545
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,200
because he's not afraid of where
any of this is going because 

546
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,840
he's still leading. 
But they said, why did Moses 

547
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,000
command one to give a 
certificate of divorce and to 

548
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:40,240
send her away like God, like 
Moses commanded everybody send 

549
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,280
your wife away. 
I want you all to divorce your 

550
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,480
wives. 
But we're going to go check that

551
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,320
out. 
So what are they referencing? 

552
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,400
We're they're referencing 
Deuteronomy chapter 24. 

553
00:27:50,960 --> 00:28:01,840
So Deuteronomy 24 the law is 
given 24 verse 1 verses one 

554
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:07,600
through 4 Deuteronomy 24 when a 
man takes a wife and marries 

555
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:12,440
her, if then she finds no favor 
in his eyes because he has found

556
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,880
some indecency in her. 
And again, this is where the 

557
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:20,280
entire interpretation comes 
from, the word indecency. 

558
00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:24,680
It means nakedness. 
It means foulness. 

559
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:29,080
But this is where the the the 
liberal interpretation was 

560
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,560
going. 
If she burns my toes, I find her

561
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,960
indecent. 
If she does whatever, you know, 

562
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,640
she didn't make dinner on time. 
Like who knows what what all the

563
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:41,240
excuses were, but they were bad 
and it was common and it was a 

564
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:43,960
very popular teaching. 
While I find some indecency in 

565
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:47,400
her, Careful, you're going, 
you're going kind of crazy with 

566
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,160
that word. 
Well, what's that word mean? 

567
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,160
Well, that's a good question, 
But that is the question, isn't 

568
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:54,840
it? 
We should be saying, what does 

569
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:58,040
it really mean to find some 
indecency in your wife? 

570
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,600
And in the context, they weren't
really interested in that. 

571
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,480
They were just saying, I think 
everything's an indecency. 

572
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:03,880
What's that? 
That's a hard heart. 

573
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,400
That's a selfishness. 
Is that a Christ's likeness? 

574
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:11,000
Do you wish that Jesus would 
discard you when he finds some 

575
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,040
indecency in you? 
No. 

576
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,000
So remember to picture Christ 
and the church. 

577
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000
But this is where they got 
carried away. 

578
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:21,840
When a man takes a wife and 
marries her, if then she finds 

579
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:25,600
no favor in his eyes because he 
has found some indecence in her.

580
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,040
Indecency in her lewdness, 
nakedness. 

581
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,520
Well, what exactly does that 
mean? 

582
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,880
Well, I don't think it means 
burnt toast. 

583
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,960
In fact, I'm certain that it 
doesn't. 

584
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,280
And he writes her a certificate 
of divorce and puts it in her 

585
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,480
hand and sends her out of his 
house. 

586
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:41,920
And she departs out of his 
house. 

587
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,680
And if she goes and becomes 
another man's wife, and the 

588
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,480
latter man hates her and writes 
her a certificate of divorce and

589
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,160
puts it in her hand and then 
sends her out of his house. 

590
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,040
Or if the latter man dies, he 
who took her to be his wife, 

591
00:29:56,160 --> 00:30:00,000
then her former husband who sent
her away may not take her again 

592
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,640
to be his wife after she has 
been defiled. 

593
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,840
For that is an abomination 
before the Lord. 

594
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,040
And you shall not bring sin upon
the land that the Lord your God 

595
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,400
is giving you for an 
inheritance. 

596
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,760
So let's understand what's 
happening here. 

597
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:16,040
This is the law that the 
Pharisees are referring to. 

598
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,200
So this is where they're saying 
Moses commanded us to get 

599
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,720
divorces. 
Moses wants us divorcing like 

600
00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,720
crazy. 
It's, it's in the Bible, Jesus. 

601
00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:25,840
That's their argument. 
Here's what you need to 

602
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,200
understand what the Lord 
intended as a guardrail in 

603
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,320
Deuteronomy. 
This was intended to be a 

604
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:36,440
guardrail for inevitable sin. 
Remember, before Jesus has 

605
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,760
talked about inevitable sin, 
he's like, it's inevitable that 

606
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,360
sins coming into the world, but 
woe to the one who through it 

607
00:30:42,360 --> 00:30:45,240
comes. 
So there's sin that's inevitable

608
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,840
and the Lord is putting up 
guardrails around it, but people

609
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,960
have turned it into a license 
for sin. 

610
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,280
So the Lord is saying for this 
exceptional situation, here's 

611
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,200
what I'm going to do and I'm 
going to show you how this is a 

612
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,560
protection to women here in a 
second because it legitimately 

613
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,760
was, but people have turned it 
into I see an opportunity. 

614
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:06,840
I found an exit strategy and 
this is what liberal theologians

615
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,000
were doing at that time. 
They were going, I found a way 

616
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,360
to just move on, get a new wife 
whenever I feel like it. 

617
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,480
So let me teach this to you and 
explain this law brought 

618
00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,600
protection to women who 
otherwise would have been left 

619
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,720
vulnerable. 
How so, pastor? 

620
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,160
Because without the certificate 
of divorce, what was happening 

621
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,480
was men were just putting their 
wives out. 

622
00:31:29,160 --> 00:31:31,480
Men were saying get out, I'm 
done. 

623
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,600
And she has no option at that 
point except to get out and be 

624
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:36,800
done. 
But she can't remarry. 

625
00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,560
Why? 
Because she's married to that 

626
00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,720
guy, but he won't have her in 
his house. 

627
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,040
Yeah, but nobody else can take 
her. 

628
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,640
So who's going to cover her? 
Who's going to protect her? 

629
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,360
Who's going to provide for her? 
Who's going to actually say she 

630
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,600
can be mine and she can come 
under my covering and under my 

631
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:52,640
love and under my care? 
No one. 

632
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:57,320
So this certificate of divorce, 
Moses even said he has to put it

633
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:00,960
in her hand. 
Moses was that precise because 

634
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:03,080
he knew what these loopholes 
were going to do. 

635
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,120
He knew they were going to go. 
I wrote a certificate of divorce

636
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:09,160
and it's in my pocket. 
And now she's still vulnerable 

637
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,200
and still can't remarry and 
still has no opportunity to be 

638
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:14,040
covered. 
She can't return to her father's

639
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:16,760
house, potentially, for shame. 
She might live with distant 

640
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,000
relatives, but she's left in 
limbo. 

641
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,120
She's completely vulnerable and 
isolated all because of a hard 

642
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:25,640
hearted man who doesn't have the
heart of God and never loved his

643
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:30,360
wife and he's gone the burnt 
toast or whatever his issue was 

644
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,720
and he's going, that's it. 
No, you will write her a 

645
00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:36,840
certificate of divorce. 
You will put it in her hand and 

646
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,480
then she will have possession of
it. 

647
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,000
And she can say I've been 
divorced. 

648
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,240
I'm essentially a free woman. 
I'm free to remarry. 

649
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,200
And their context and their 
setting that was appropriate. 

650
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,440
They didn't have the added 
standards that we have in the 

651
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,200
New Testament that Jesus put 
upon us. 

652
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,120
So this is what's happening 
here. 

653
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,640
She would have been stuck in 
limbo without any opportunity to

654
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,480
remarry. 
But now with her certificate of 

655
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:01,400
divorce in hand, she is free to 
remarry. 

656
00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:09,120
So verse 4 here in in chapter 
24, then her former husband who 

657
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:12,800
sent her away may not take her 
again to be his wife after she 

658
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,000
has been defiled for that is an 
abomination before the Lord and 

659
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,560
you shall not bring sin upon the
land of the Lord your God is 

660
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,560
giving you for an inheritance. 
What's happening here in this 

661
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:23,920
verse? 
In this verse, the command came,

662
00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,080
you can't remarry your ex-wife. 
Moses saying why? 

663
00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,040
So that you don't think you can 
play musical chairs with a 

664
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,800
woman's life so that you can't 
treat her as an object, but she 

665
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:38,600
has to be cherished as a person 
because she is someone. 

666
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,240
So that men can't treat their ex
wives like a backup plan that 

667
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,080
they could return to. 
So a woman's life isn't treated 

668
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:47,640
carelessly or like it's 
something to be thrown away. 

669
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,680
She is someone to be loved, 
someone to be cherished, someone

670
00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:56,160
to be protected and provided for
and LED like Jesus does for the 

671
00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,320
church. 
It's the hard heart that's 

672
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:03,400
hunting for reasons for divorce.
And a hard heart can always find

673
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,840
1A hard heart can always justify
what the Holy Spirit never 

674
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,440
would. 
So the Lord's motive in 

675
00:34:10,440 --> 00:34:13,159
Deuteronomy 24 is not so that 
people would get better at 

676
00:34:13,159 --> 00:34:15,639
divorce. 
His motive is that we would not 

677
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,239
divorce or that they would not 
divorce. 

678
00:34:18,679 --> 00:34:21,800
He wasn't making divorce easier.
He was making it rarer. 

679
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:24,239
Men were just sending their 
wives away without any process. 

680
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:28,480
Now she's a woman, or whenever 
they send her away without any 

681
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,600
process, now she's going to be a
woman without a home, without a 

682
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,360
husband, without protection, and
no standing in society. 

683
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,960
And the Lord was stopping that. 
And now men are going to have 

684
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,000
pause. 
And they go, wow, like the 

685
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,639
disciples. 
Maybe it's better for a man not 

686
00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:42,280
to marry. 
Yeah, maybe so. 

687
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:46,080
Maybe so if that was your 
attitude, if that was your 

688
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,960
expectation. 
Yeah, buddy, you ought not get 

689
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:51,280
married. 
I thought if I just didn't like 

690
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:52,639
things after a few months and I 
could. 

691
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:54,760
Yeah. 
Thank you for saying that out 

692
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:56,760
loud. 
Definitely don't get married. 

693
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,400
Definitely don't. 
Now we know your perspective. 

694
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,240
We understand your immaturity. 
And praise God, now you've been 

695
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,960
scared of that. 
I don't say that to condemn you,

696
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,120
little Johnny. 
I say it to say who? 

697
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:10,600
You dodged a bullet to your own 
condemnation. 

698
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:12,040
That would have been bad for 
you. 

699
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:16,440
That would have been bad for 
everybody. 

700
00:35:17,280 --> 00:35:19,280
So let's get more practical for 
you, though, for a second. 

701
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,080
Because you're not a Jew living 
under the Law of Moses. 

702
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,280
If you're bored in your 
marriage, if you're not having 

703
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:29,360
frequent and passionate sex with
your spouse, if you're not 

704
00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:32,560
laughing together, if you're not
chasing a shared vision that 

705
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:36,040
actually excites you, then 
you're already in some danger 

706
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,480
and you may or may not know it. 
So how do you course correct? 

707
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,320
You start hanging out again. 
You go on walk and talks 

708
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,280
together. 
You sit on the sofa without 

709
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:47,760
having a screen between the two 
of you. 

710
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,560
You pray together. 
You cultivate the boyfriend 

711
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,760
girlfriend energy again. 
You create margin in your life 

712
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,680
so that there is space for 
sweetness and spontaneity. 

713
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,040
A lot of times I just refer to 
it as a boyfriend girlfriend 

714
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,720
dynamic. 
I tell couples like be boyfriend

715
00:36:01,720 --> 00:36:03,760
and girlfriend. 
Are you having fun? 

716
00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,400
Are you laughing? 
Like, no. 

717
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:11,360
OK, whoa. 
Like that's a good thing to do. 

718
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,760
It's like you talk to the person
who's like chronically exhausted

719
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:15,680
and like how much you sleep like
an hour a night. 

720
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,520
Like good news. 
I found your problem. 

721
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,520
Like, let's prioritize this 
thing couples like, are you 

722
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,520
enjoying each other? 
Are you laughing? 

723
00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:26,200
Are you having fun? 
Are you flirting? 

724
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,040
What can we do to rebuild some 
of those things? 

725
00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:31,440
And as soon as our minds hear 
these kinds of things, they go 

726
00:36:31,440 --> 00:36:34,520
well. 
But they you come to the wrong 

727
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,400
guy if you want to talk about 
but they because I'm the master 

728
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,720
at bringing you back to the 
mirror. 

729
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,440
This room has mirrors in it. 
Not strategically, we just 

730
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,600
happen to have them. 
But if you want to know who to 

731
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,800
work on in your marriage, you 
can always find them in the 

732
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,120
mirror. 
That's the best person to focus 

733
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:51,680
on in any marriage, because 
otherwise, whenever you take a 

734
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,960
hey baby, let's do this thing 
together approach. 

735
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:57,560
You've also made yourself 
hostage to their willingness. 

736
00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:02,600
So what if Natalie's the 
willing, great, If she's willing

737
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,400
to go and I'm willing to go and 
we're saying let's do it 

738
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,480
together, that's wonderful. 
But what about when we do that 

739
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,320
together for a time and a 
season? 

740
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,960
And then she says I'm kind of 
kind of kind of lean back now. 

741
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,360
What do you think? 
The first feeling I'm going to 

742
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,320
feel is I'm going to feel 
bitter, I'm going to feel 

743
00:37:16,320 --> 00:37:19,440
frustrated, I'm feel resentful. 
Hey, we had a deal. 

744
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,400
I'm going to do my part. 
You're going to do your part. 

745
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,600
As long as you're doing your 
part, I'll keep doing my part. 

746
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,880
That almost sounds like a 
contract, doesn't it? 

747
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:29,720
Versus a covenant saying I'm 
going to do my part. 

748
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:31,200
Period. 
There's nothing else coming. 

749
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:32,160
I'm. 
Going to do my part. 

750
00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,600
And that's what grows that's. 
What changes marriages? 

751
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:37,600
That's what changes people. 
I've worked with a lot of 

752
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,760
marriages. 
I've worked with a lot of men. 

753
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,760
I've worked with some women as 
well, and the number one thing I

754
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:46,480
always do for them is I say you 
focus on you, you focus on you, 

755
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,440
and they go, yeah, what about 
and I go, Yep, all that stuff is

756
00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:49,400
bad. 
Yep. 

757
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,520
Now stop talking about it. 
Back to you. 

758
00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,560
Let's focus on your obedience to
Jesus. 

759
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,040
Why? 
Because we're counting on the 

760
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,760
fact that God's good design is 
actually going to build warmth. 

761
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,600
There's actually going to build 
attraction. 

762
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,160
There's actually going to build 
desire and build delight. 

763
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:04,600
Should we walk? 
Through this with nuance and. 

764
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:05,880
Wisdom. 
Yeah, and you shouldn't walk 

765
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,920
through it alone, especially if 
you're in a difficult place. 

766
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,600
But the basics are pretty basic,
folks. 

767
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:15,080
Is not the science of rocketry. 
It is simpler than that, 

768
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,840
thankfully. 
So those are some of the course 

769
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,720
corrections you can make. 
And what else should you do if 

770
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:25,240
you're stuck? 
Ask for help, get support, come 

771
00:38:25,240 --> 00:38:28,080
to your pastor, then do what 
you're told. 

772
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,360
Re listen to the marriage series
that I preached. 

773
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,680
Husbands, listen to the Family 
Captain podcast. 

774
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,160
Wives, go through the first 
officer's primer. 

775
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:41,480
These resources are gold, 
absolute gold. 

776
00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:44,120
And I'm not afraid to tell you, 
aren't you the one who taught 

777
00:38:44,120 --> 00:38:44,720
him? 
Yeah. 

778
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,960
And it's the best marriage 
teaching I've ever found in my 

779
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,680
entire life. 
And I'm not sorry. 

780
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,360
It's true. 
I'm not sorry. 

781
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,680
You're welcome. 
And you should be eating it up. 

782
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:58,400
You should be devouring the 
things that I teach regarding 

783
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,440
marriage and family and male and
female. 

784
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:04,240
And if you find something 
better, I want you to bring it 

785
00:39:04,240 --> 00:39:06,160
to me, 'cause I want to learn 
from it. 

786
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,400
I mean that sincerely. 
I want to learn and I want to 

787
00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:12,480
keep growing. 
But if you can't find something 

788
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,720
better, you among the whole 
world are without excuse. 

789
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:18,840
Because there's strangers 
listening to me from Australia, 

790
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:22,000
hanging on every word I have to 
say regarding marriage and 

791
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,720
family, and it's changed their 
lives. 

792
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:26,960
And sometimes I talk to folks 
and they go, man, your church 

793
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:34,920
must just be and I go. 
Praise the Lord they go, man, 

794
00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:37,120
the men in your church. 
Must be and I go praise the 

795
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:40,680
Lord, I love my church and I'm 
going to shepherd my church. 

796
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,920
The women in your church just 
praise the Lord. 

797
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,440
I love my flock and I'm going to
shepherd my flock and I'm going 

798
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:48,840
to care for my flock and I'm 
also going to tell my flock the 

799
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:54,040
truth from the pulpit in moments
like this and say, hey, family 

800
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:59,280
talk, little reminder time, you 
know, just just do. 

801
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,760
What you should? 
Do and you'll be blessed by 

802
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,520
that. 
You've got lots of opportunities

803
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:05,960
for growth. 
And I would love to bend over 

804
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,040
backwards and continue to pour 
my life out for you personally 

805
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,720
to help you. 
So if you're struggling, you 

806
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,720
don't have an excuse with this 
guy as your pastor. 

807
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,600
Or you can skip everything. 
I just said and do this instead.

808
00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:22,400
Look up every Bible verse on 
marriage. 

809
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:26,240
Go to Google and look up all the
verses on marriage, particularly

810
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,400
in the New Testament. 
Ignore the ones that are written

811
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,240
to your spouse, right? 
Yours on the mirror, put them in

812
00:40:31,240 --> 00:40:34,440
the car, put them next to the 
toilet and obey them and make 

813
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,960
that a way of life. 
And there I just closed every 

814
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,520
marriage counselor's office and 
I shut down the family captain 

815
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,280
for life. 
And we never have to have it 

816
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,600
ever again because Christians 
are just taking what they're 

817
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:45,960
supposed to do and walking it 
out in obedience. 

818
00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:48,320
You might not come to every 
single conclusion that I've come

819
00:40:48,320 --> 00:40:51,320
to on every single verse, and 
I'm completely fine with that. 

820
00:40:51,720 --> 00:40:53,480
I can live with that and I can 
still sleep good. 

821
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,560
But you know what you're going 
to do? 

822
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:56,720
You're going to absolutely 
change your life and your 

823
00:40:56,720 --> 00:40:59,400
marriage. 
It'll be enough because the book

824
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,280
of God is safe for the common 
man to pick it up, read it, 

825
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,440
believe it, obey it and be 
transformed by it. 

826
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,880
And that would be enough. 
There'd be no more marriage 

827
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:08,960
counselling. 
There'd be no more books, my 

828
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,200
book, my podcast, all the 
things. 

829
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:13,520
We just have to shut the doors 
because people be like they. 

830
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,800
We'd have to just call it the 
the Captain Obvious instead of 

831
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,680
the family captain because 
everybody goes, yeah, it's just 

832
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,160
the Bible, dude. 
I know I didn't invent this 

833
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:23,040
stuff. 
It's not new. 

834
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:27,280
It's super, super old and it's 
super, super good. 

835
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,840
That's all I'm doing. 
That's my big secret to success.

836
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,240
I just keep focusing on what the
book says and finding ways to 

837
00:41:33,240 --> 00:41:36,560
apply it. 
So this is how we become men and

838
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,640
women who don't need marriage 
counseling because we actually 

839
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:42,000
read and obey the word of God 
for ourselves. 

840
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:45,040
This is how we stop handing the 
enemy our marriages on a silver 

841
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:47,440
platter. 
This is how we really strengthen

842
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,680
the body of Christ. 
This is ultimately how we change

843
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:51,640
the world. 
The Lord started with a family 

844
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,640
and He ends with a family. 
Family is important to him from 

845
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:59,160
Genesis to Revelation. 
It starts with a married couple 

846
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:01,000
who are butt naked. 
Praise the Lord. 

847
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:03,800
And it ends with a marriage 
supper. 

848
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,640
Of the lamb, where the whole 
family has come together and we 

849
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:10,720
live together happily ever 
after, the groom and all of us 

850
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,640
the bride. 
Marriage is supposed to be a 

851
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,720
rich, deep blessing. 
Is it going to be sanctifying? 

852
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,680
You better believe it. 
Is it going to get on your 

853
00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:20,000
flesh? 
Absolutely. 

854
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:22,000
Are you going to grow in 
holiness? 

855
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,400
Yeah. 
And is that the reason that we 

856
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:24,720
all went to the altar? 
No. 

857
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:27,440
No, I did not stand there with 
Natalie that day. 

858
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:29,440
Like, I'm just here because I 
want to grow in sanctification. 

859
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,040
And she was like, me too. 
I just want to be more holy. 

860
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:38,040
That's all I want. 
Happiness, fun, the marriage 

861
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,680
bed. 
Who needs any of that stuff? 

862
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,440
I'm just here for saying, for 
the sanctifying goodness. 

863
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,440
I just want to. 
I just want to crucify the 

864
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:46,560
flesh. 
But what? 

865
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:47,840
What do we get all of? 
It. 

866
00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:50,680
All of it. 
Marriage is supposed to be a 

867
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,400
rich joy and a deep blessing, 
not a contractual place where I 

868
00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,880
say, what can I get out of this,
but what can I bring? 

869
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:01,800
So look at how the disciples 
really out themselves. 

870
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:08,480
Oh, go back to Matthew now. 
After the disciples hear Jesus's

871
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:10,880
strictness on marriage, they 
hear how he raises the 

872
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,560
standards. 
They say to him, If such is the 

873
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,160
case with a man and his wife, 
it's better to not marry. 

874
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:19,480
They're basically saying well 
Dang, if you. 

875
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,920
Can't just get divorced for 
anything. 

876
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,160
You ought not get married at 
all. 

877
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:24,760
Well said guys. 
You're right. 

878
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,640
If that is your approach to 
marriage, you truly shouldn't 

879
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:30,240
marry because you clearly don't 
have an accurate understanding 

880
00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,280
of marriage. 
A godly, mature husband will be 

881
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:37,320
focused on his responsibility to
protect, to provide, and to lead

882
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,520
his wife. 
He won't be thinking about his 

883
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:42,160
exit strategy. 
And a godly mature wife will be 

884
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,840
focused on helping her husband, 
being his glory and bringing him

885
00:43:45,840 --> 00:43:48,480
life, not thinking about her 
exit strategies. 

886
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,480
If they can't say they want to 
do those things, then it's true 

887
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,560
they shouldn't marry because of 
their immaturity. 

888
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:58,080
But that's not condemning. 
The word immaturity might sound 

889
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,120
condemning to you, and I do not 
intend for it to be. 

890
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,360
I just contend it to be. 
I just intend for it to be 

891
00:44:02,360 --> 00:44:05,520
sobering. 
Why, let's keep going here. 

892
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,480
Jesus answers right after the 
disciples go, maybe we ought not

893
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:11,520
marry. 
And Jesus said, fairpoint boys, 

894
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:16,200
not everyone can receive this 
saying, but only those to whom 

895
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:18,760
it is given. 
For there are eunuchs who have 

896
00:44:18,760 --> 00:44:22,040
been so from birth, and there 
are eunuchs who have been made 

897
00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:25,200
eunuchs by men, and there are 
eunuchs who have made themselves

898
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:27,040
eunuchs for the sake of the 
Kingdom of heaven. 

899
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,840
Let the one who is able to 
receive this receive it. 

900
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,520
So a eunuch, I'm going to be 
graphic, so steal yourself for a

901
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:36,840
moment. 
A eunuch was a man who had his 

902
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,040
testicles removed. 
All right, now we're back to 

903
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:43,280
normal talk. 
I just want to be clear because 

904
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,480
if you say he had his stuff cut,
like what stuff? 

905
00:44:45,720 --> 00:44:49,440
So now, you know, like, all 
right, sorry, I belabored it 

906
00:44:49,440 --> 00:44:51,920
probably too much now. 
Now, everyone's uncomfortable, 

907
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:54,400
all right? 
But we've got three different 

908
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:57,520
categories of eunuchs, and most 
commentators believe that Jesus 

909
00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:01,200
wasn't referencing literal 
eunuchs in each case here, he's 

910
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,040
he's referencing the concept of 
being a eunuch without 

911
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,080
necessarily going the full 
distance. 

912
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:11,000
So the first, and didn't have to
make that gesture either. 

913
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:19,120
That was unnecessary, 
unintentional, unhelpful. 

914
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,880
All right, So the three kinds of
eunuchs that he references here,

915
00:45:22,960 --> 00:45:26,600
he says those, the some, some 
are born as eunuchs. 

916
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:28,520
What's he referencing? 
Probably not that they had a 

917
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:31,800
birth defect, but more likely 
he's referencing they were born 

918
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,800
maybe, maybe to some degree, 
without the capacity or the 

919
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,040
opportunity to marry. 
So for whatever reason, 

920
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,320
circumstance lent itself to here
we are. 

921
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:43,000
And this person has never 
married. 

922
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:45,840
They never had a strong desire 
for marriage. 

923
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:48,880
But they never had an 
opportunity for. 

924
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,000
Marriage, potentially the 
second, those who are made this 

925
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,440
way by others. 
This one is the literal version.

926
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:58,560
So like in a Royal Court, men 
were castrated so that they 

927
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:01,480
could serve the King's wives or 
they could serve the King's 

928
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,200
concubines without threat. 
So these men, they didn't have 

929
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:06,800
an option. 
This thing was done to them and 

930
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,000
said now you're going to serve 
in the King's court. 

931
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:10,920
And this method, in this way, 
that's what Jesus was 

932
00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:14,360
referencing, those kinds of 
eunuchs and then three, those 

933
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:19,440
deliberately who chose 
singleness to serve God more 

934
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,080
fully. 
That's the purpose. 

935
00:46:22,240 --> 00:46:24,480
And that's the point that Jesus 
is honoring and that he's 

936
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,480
referencing. 
He says some have done this for 

937
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:28,560
the sake of the Kingdom of 
heaven. 

938
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,640
Let the one who is able to 
receive this, receive it. 

939
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,480
So Jesus is saying that worth 
and usefulness in the Kingdom of

940
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:40,600
heaven are not tied to marriage.
Worth and. 

941
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:44,200
Usefulness in the Kingdom of 
heaven are not tied to marriage,

942
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:48,280
so for the married people, good.
You can grow in your. 

943
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,000
Sanctification in your marriage 
for sure, but Jesus is also 

944
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:54,800
clarifying. 
Single people that you're not. 

945
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:59,040
Second class citizens, you can 
continue to serve faithfully in 

946
00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,680
the Kingdom of God. 
Your worth and your usefulness 

947
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:05,320
and your value are not tied or 
connected to marriage. 

948
00:47:05,560 --> 00:47:09,320
Whether someone is single by 
nature or by circumstance or by 

949
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:14,000
choice, they are called to 
faithfulness, to holiness, and 

950
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:19,240
to purpose in their singleness, 
not selfishness or fornication. 

951
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:21,920
So that's the other disclaimer, 
because the other thing that's 

952
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,360
happened in the past couple 
decades in the body of Christ is

953
00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,200
a glorification of singleness, 
as though singleness in itself 

954
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,120
is a virtue. 
And that is completely 

955
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,720
unbiblical. 
Marriage is the normative 

956
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:37,080
standard of God's design 
starting from day one. 

957
00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:40,360
So it is the normative standard.
But Jesus saying, but no, there 

958
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,800
are there are some who have not 
married and with with their with

959
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:46,760
them not having the 
responsibilities of a spouse 

960
00:47:46,760 --> 00:47:50,160
like Paul talks about, they can 
devote themselves more fully to 

961
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:51,320
the Kingdom. 
Why? 

962
00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:53,880
Because a married man's thinking
about what his wife wants and a 

963
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,760
married woman's thinking about 
what her husband wants. 

964
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,560
Was that bad? 
No, the Lord built it that way. 

965
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,560
And yet it's an inevitable 
outcome. 

966
00:48:01,280 --> 00:48:03,720
And he says the single person 
doesn't have to think, what 

967
00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:05,080
about my spouse? 
What about my kids? 

968
00:48:05,080 --> 00:48:08,520
They can go the Lord, it's me 
and the Lord and yes, the body 

969
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,840
of Christ around them and 
others. 

970
00:48:10,040 --> 00:48:11,920
He's Paul's gone. 
I wish everybody was like me. 

971
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:13,960
He's like, but it's better to 
marry than to burn. 

972
00:48:14,360 --> 00:48:18,320
And he means burn passion. 
I feel passionate burning. 

973
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,720
He's saying it's better to marry
than to have that going on. 

974
00:48:20,720 --> 00:48:21,880
And then of course to burn 
later. 

975
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,520
Of course, if I had unrepentant 
fornication. 

976
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:28,640
So it's better to marry. 
Marriage is the normative and 

977
00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:33,160
appropriate design of the Lord. 
And yet some are single by 

978
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:35,600
situation, some are single by 
calling. 

979
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:39,120
Either way, their life should be
powerful for the Kingdom, not 

980
00:48:39,120 --> 00:48:40,680
just the glorification of 
singleness going. 

981
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:42,400
Like I think marriage is an 
idol. 

982
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,200
I don't think our society with 
the body of Christ right now is 

983
00:48:46,200 --> 00:48:47,880
at risk of making marriage and 
idol. 

984
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:53,480
So I won't play that game. 
If you're called to singleness, 

985
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:55,800
it should look like not 
selfishness. 

986
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,720
It should look like Kingdom 
focus. 

987
00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:01,600
I'm just called to singleness. 
Also live my best life now and 

988
00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:04,520
my life's all about travel. 
I want you to travel, enjoy the 

989
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,000
Lord's beautiful creation. 
But I don't think you have a 

990
00:49:07,040 --> 00:49:10,080
proper understanding either. 
Just like the disciples thought 

991
00:49:10,600 --> 00:49:11,800
they had. 
Just like they had a bad 

992
00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,040
understanding of marriage, 
they're probably also going to 

993
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,480
have a bad understanding of 
singleness. 

994
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,200
Why? 
Because they're selfish. 

995
00:49:17,600 --> 00:49:19,960
That's their whole problem. 
I better not get married then, 

996
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,080
if that's what marriage is all 
about. 

997
00:49:21,280 --> 00:49:22,560
You're right. 
But you're not going to be a 

998
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,680
very good single guy either if 
you're this selfish. 

999
00:49:25,040 --> 00:49:27,320
So either way, you need to 
prioritize the king and his 

1000
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,800
Kingdom in a new way. 
Because either way, you're 

1001
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,960
called to serve the king fully 
and completely in your marriage.

1002
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:35,800
I don't know if I want to deal 
with a woman. 

1003
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:39,040
Fine, you don't have to, but 
you're going to follow the King 

1004
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:40,920
fully and completely. 
Your life is all about him 

1005
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:42,760
otherwise. 
All right, sign me up for that. 

1006
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:46,280
Fair enough, fair enough, but 
you're giving yourself to the 

1007
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,000
King in both cases. 
One's not. 

1008
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:50,800
One's not putting him on the 
back burner. 

1009
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,640
He's always the priority. 
So what do we see through all of

1010
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:57,000
this? 
Jesus was not building around 

1011
00:49:57,000 --> 00:49:59,320
the exception, which is all of 
our temptation. 

1012
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,560
I want to build around 
exceptions with the Scripture. 

1013
00:50:01,560 --> 00:50:04,160
What about how come I got a 
story? 

1014
00:50:04,320 --> 00:50:07,880
And again, I, I don't want to 
silence any of you. 

1015
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:10,200
If anybody wants to talk to me, 
you got questions, exceptional 

1016
00:50:10,200 --> 00:50:12,560
story, I'm here for it. 
We can talk through it. 

1017
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:14,280
Let's pray through it. 
Let's consider it and I can go, 

1018
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,160
I can give you, here's what I 
would think and here's how I 

1019
00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:17,840
process that. 
We can do all of that. 

1020
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,600
But we're taking the text for 
what the text says for us here 

1021
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:24,360
today. 
Jesus doesn't build around 

1022
00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:27,640
exceptions. 
He is restoring our focus to 

1023
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,600
God's intention and we're 
closing now. 

1024
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:35,480
Sinful humanity wants to major 
on the miners and make the 

1025
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:41,040
exceptions, the priorities. 
As always, Jesus is raising the 

1026
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,240
standards for righteousness, 
never lowering them. 

1027
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:48,560
The new covenant has far higher 
standards than the old covenant,

1028
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,200
which is why you and I must be 
made new creations. 

1029
00:50:53,160 --> 00:50:54,960
That is the priority for us to 
be made new. 

1030
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,440
Does any of? 
This feel heavy, Yeah. 

1031
00:50:57,440 --> 00:51:02,640
Pastor, good news, the Lord will
lighten your load because he is 

1032
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,840
the one who will do the work. 
Unless the Lord builds the 

1033
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,200
house, those who labor build in 
vain anyway. 

1034
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:09,520
So we got to bring all these 
things to the Lord and we got to

1035
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,400
go. 
I was thinking about that wrong.

1036
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,760
OK, join the club. 
And now let's think about it, 

1037
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,880
right? 
That's what repentance is. 

1038
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:18,480
That's what sin is. 
It is to miss the mark. 

1039
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:21,440
I fired the arrow. 
I missed the. 

1040
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,000
Mark fired another one. 
I missed the mark. 

1041
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:27,160
We will need to keep firing to 
hit the mark. 

1042
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,960
We have all sinned. 
And fallen short of the glory of

1043
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:33,920
God. 
Some in marriage, some in 

1044
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:37,520
divorce, some in sexual sin. 
That's why the cross isn't 

1045
00:51:37,560 --> 00:51:39,720
optional. 
It is necessary. 

1046
00:51:40,160 --> 00:51:42,440
Like we talked about as we open 
service today, as we're all 

1047
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,440
rejoicing the forgiveness of our
sins. 

1048
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,640
Hallelujah. 
We don't just need commands, 

1049
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:49,320
though. 
We need a Savior. 

1050
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:54,080
If we confess our sins, He is 
faithful and just to forgive us 

1051
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:56,960
of our sins and to cleanse us 
from all unrighteousness. 

1052
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,760
Moses went up on a mountain and 
he brought down commands to 

1053
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,600
obey. 
Jesus ascends into heaven and he

1054
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,760
sends the Holy Spirit who gives 
us power to obey. 

1055
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,360
That's the difference between us
and them. 

1056
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:13,560
They got the commands and they 
were crushed by them, which was 

1057
00:52:13,560 --> 00:52:17,040
kind of the point, to show them 
their need for salvation. 

1058
00:52:17,280 --> 00:52:20,200
You can't do it. 
You need the Messiah to come. 

1059
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:23,200
You and I already see that we 
got the advantage of hindsight. 

1060
00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:25,720
We get to look back and go, I'm 
doomed. 

1061
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:27,800
I could do nothing apart from 
Christ. 

1062
00:52:28,480 --> 00:52:30,280
I can do nothing apart from 
Christ. 

1063
00:52:31,320 --> 00:52:34,840
And there is therefore now no 
condemnation for those who are 

1064
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,200
in Christ Jesus. 
So I said this before when I 

1065
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:39,360
preached on divorce. 
So for those who like, well, I'm

1066
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:42,120
divorced and I remarried or what
about and how come where we are,

1067
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:45,920
where we are now and we cover it
with grace and we say, Lord, 

1068
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,360
help me to walk in freedom and 
faithfulness. 

1069
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,360
Now we don't get hung up and we 
don't let the enemy take us back

1070
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:53,960
into some courtroom. 
We just say, Lord, help me to 

1071
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:57,800
walk out the light that I have 
now with fullness, with joy, 

1072
00:52:57,800 --> 00:53:02,560
with love, with devotion. 
We need a Savior. 

1073
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:10,720
So whether you're married, 
divorced, single, something else

1074
00:53:10,720 --> 00:53:15,320
in between, follow Jesus with 
everything you've got and let 

1075
00:53:15,320 --> 00:53:19,360
him shape your heart. 
Heavenly Father, you love your 

1076
00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:22,920
people and you have given us 
your ways so that we would 

1077
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,720
thrive, so that we would please 
you, and so that we would enjoy 

1078
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:29,760
your highest and your best. 
God, I thank you for the gift of

1079
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,080
marriage. 
I pray for the marriages in Salt

1080
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,080
Church. 
God, I pray you would protect 

1081
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,080
them from. 
Bitterness. 

1082
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:38,960
I pray you would protect them 
from boredom. 

1083
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:41,200
I pray you would protect them 
from the enemy. 

1084
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,120
I pray you would protect them 
from temptation. 

1085
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:47,000
I pray that marriage would be 
held in honor in Salt Church and

1086
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:49,240
that families and households 
would be strong. 

1087
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:53,120
I pray that that this whole, 
that this whole church body 

1088
00:53:53,400 --> 00:53:55,920
would be built up in such a way 
that all of our marriages were 

1089
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:59,120
preaching the gospel in a way 
that was beautiful and enticing 

1090
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:00,880
and a sweet aroma to the world 
around us. 

1091
00:54:01,240 --> 00:54:03,320
So they would look in that they 
would see and they would say, if

1092
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:05,480
that's Jesus and the church, 
then sign me up. 

1093
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:08,920
If that's what it looks like, if
that's what it feels like, then 

1094
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:13,160
I want to be a part of that God.
I pray for the single among us. 

1095
00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,560
I pray that they would more and 
more have lives more deeply 

1096
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,400
devoted to you that they would 
take If it's a if it's a 

1097
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,960
temporary season or if it's for 
the rest of their lives. 

1098
00:54:23,240 --> 00:54:26,280
I pray that it would be a joyful
devotion for them, not a 

1099
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:28,680
burdensome weight. 
But then it would be a joyful 

1100
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:32,360
delight to say, Lord, I am yours
fully and completely. 

1101
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:35,480
I always was and I always AM and
even more now. 

1102
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,920
I had the privilege of bringing 
all of my attention to you 

1103
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,440
undivided, fully yours, God. 
That's the prayer of our hearts.

1104
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,640
Make us strong, make us healthy,
help us to thrive. 

1105
00:54:46,720 --> 00:54:49,520
And yes, Lord, we want also to 
be happy. 

1106
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,160
But even when circumstances 
don't allow for happiness, we 

1107
00:54:55,160 --> 00:54:57,600
thank you for joy. 
Joy that. 

1108
00:54:57,600 --> 00:54:58,600
Comes from what? 
Christ. 

1109
00:54:58,600 --> 00:55:01,960
Has accomplished that nothing 
could ever change that I plead 

1110
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:07,640
the blood of Jesus over your 
people, bless them, keep them, 

1111
00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:10,160
make your. 
Face shine down upon. 

1112
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:14,920
Them be gracious to them, lift 
up your countenance upon them, 

1113
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:20,920
give them great peace in Jesus 
name, Amen.