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Genesis chapter 2. 
We did. 

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What is a man? 
What is a woman? 

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What is marriage? 
I had told you that today was 

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going to be, what is a husband? 
But like that title was too 

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restrictive. 
So I changed today's title to 

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husbanding. 
I don't know if that's a word 

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but now it is husbanding. 
Gave myself a broad variety of 

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areas. 
I could go with it that way. 

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Genesis chapter 2 verses 18 
through 25. 

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Then the Lord God said it's not 
good that the man should be 

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alone. 
I will make him a helper fit for

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him. 
Now, out of the ground, the Lord

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God formed every beast of the 
field and every bird of the 

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heavens and brought them to the 
man, to see what he would call 

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them. 
And whatever the man called 

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every living creature. 
That was its name. 

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The man gave names to all the 
livestock and all the birds of 

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the heavens and every beast of 
the field. 

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But for Adam, there was not 
found a helper fit for him. 

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So the Lord God caused a deep 
sleep to fall upon the man and 

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while he slept Left. 
He took one of his ribs and 

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closed up its place with flesh 
and the rib that the Lord God 

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had taken from the man he made 
into a woman and brought her to 

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the man. 
Then the man said this at last 

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is bone of my bones and Flesh of
My Flesh. 

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She shall be called woman 
because she was taken out of, 

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man, therefore a man shall leave
his father and his mother and 

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shall hold fast to his wife, and
they shall become one flesh and 

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the man and his wife were Both 
naked and they were not ashamed.

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Heavenly Father, we thank you 
for your word and for all the 

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scriptures will look at today. 
They guide us that teach us in 

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the direct us to show us what a 
husband looks like. 

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A husband who has a heart for 
God. 

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A husband who has a heart for 
his wife, a husband who loves 

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himself as you command, he 
showed his well but a husband 

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who glorifies your name. 
God, bring us that Revelation 

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like we prayed and asked for 
earlier There's no point in 

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going here without your 
presence. 

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So, we commit to obedience 
before the word is even 

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preached. 
We commit to obedience to the 

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word of God, because we know 
your ways are best. 

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We want what you want for the 
reasons that you want to glorify

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your name in us, in our lives, 
and our marriages, in our 

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households, in our church, in 
our community. 

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We thank you in Jesus name. 
Amen. 

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As a man goes. 
So goes the household as the 

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household goes. 
So goes the church as the church

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goes. 
So goes to Ready. 

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And that brings us. 
I believe to our present 

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Insanity in the West. 
Where did it start? 

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It started with a man as a man 
goes. 

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So goes the household For Better
or Worse. 

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We want to make sure it's for 
better and has not always been 

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the case in my marriage. 
So one of the things that 

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happens when you teach on this 
subject, man, we have a very 

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sensitive filter for respect and
for thority that's part of God's

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good design for us. 
That's not a flaw in you 

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brother, it's not a mistake and 
yet there's a place like I said 

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earlier to bring these things 
under submission, and the place 

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to bring everything under 
submission is to the Lord Jesus 

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Christ. 
East every Authority is under 

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Authority as a Man. 
I'm The Authority in my 

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household. 
Absolutely, but I'm an authority

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who is under and Authority. 
The Supreme Court has great 

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Authority, and yet, they are 
under the authority of the Lord,

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Jesus Christ. 
Well, they don't act like it 

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sometimes, I agree. 
And yet they should, it's sinful

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wickedness. 
When anyone violates the 

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standards of the Lord Jesus 
Christ, whether it's in the 

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government, whether it's in a 
household or whether it's in the

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church, a pastor has Authority 
in the church and yet he has 

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Authority. 
Who is under another Authority? 

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That's what brings someone who 
is. 

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Who's under that Pastor, who's 
under that husband, who is under

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that government, it brings them 
Comfort. 

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It brings him security to know. 
You are under another Authority.

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You're not Supreme in yourself. 
You're not sovereign, husbands 

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are not sovereign in themselves.
Pastors are not sovereign on 

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their own governments are not 
sovereign where the government, 

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okay? 
And I'll give you the proper 

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Authority. 
I'll pay taxes. 

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And you should punish wickedness
and reward righteousness. 

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That's your jurisdiction. 
According to the word of God. 

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Oh, I'm the husband. 
Okay, you have a limited 

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Authority. 
I'm the pastor agree, and you 

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have a limited Authority. 
There's a place there 

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jurisdiction, but to what end to
serve and to serve and to obey 

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the purpose is in the will of 
the Lord, Jesus Christ. 

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That's it, that's it. 
Jesus said, I'm an authority 

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over all people in all places at
all times and I'm going to 

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delegate my authority. 
All right? 

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Lord Jesus. 
How would you like to delegate 

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your Authority? 
I'll delegate my authority 

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through the civil, magistrate? 
What we call the government. 

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I'll do some authorities through
that. 

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I'll delegate other authorities.
With to the leadership and the 

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leadership of the church, I'll 
delegate some authorities for 

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that other responsibilities. 
And then I'll delegate other 

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authorities and responsibilities
through husbands of and heads of

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households and I delegate 
Authority. 

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That way, that's Jesus doing 
what Jesus wants to do, where he

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wants to do it. 
So every no one ever gets to be 

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swelled up and go, you were 
placed in your position and you 

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could be removed from it by the 
Lord Jesus Christ. 

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So I say all that to say we have
to we have to remember our 

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authorities legitimate and at 
the same time Arthur He's to 

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come under submission. 
This is a good moment for us as 

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husband's to not swell up and 
go. 

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Let's see what you got Preacher,
Man. 

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Bro. 
This is not. 

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This is not you versus me. 
This is U and I together coming 

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under the authority of the Lord 
Jesus Christ. 

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Same team. 
You and me versus our flesh. 

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You and me versus the enemy. 
You and me versus The 

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Temptations that are common to 
husband's ladies. 

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They'll get their turn next 
week. 

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I assure you. 
So I'm an equal-opportunity 

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preacher. 
I will not just emphasize the 

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sins of men. 
I will also emphasize the sins 

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of women which The church often 
fails at Mother's Day. 

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Sermons are ladies. 
You're just the best you're just

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the sweetest precious, most 
bestest thing, and then Father's

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Day sermons are I'm so 
disappointed in you guys step it

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up. 
Man up bro. 

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Come on, come on dude. 
Now to some degree, it's 

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appropriate to some degree and 
because there's a masculinity 

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and there's a femininity as me 
and we appreciate Challenge and 

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that's a that's a distinction 
that there's something to that. 

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But at the same time I think a 
lot of its cowardice to just 

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never never being willing to 
talk about the sins of women at 

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all. 
These Angelic creatures, who 

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have just somehow had to had to 
be yoked up to these, these be 

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Beasts of Burden called 
husband's. 

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That's not the picture that the 
scripture paints. 

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And that's not how I preach 
through this. 

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So, today, if it feels 
one-sided, well, it is. 

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And next week if it feels 
one-sided, well, it will be and 

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that's because we're focusing on
husbands and wives, but that's 

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what we want. 
So let's make sure we have a 

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heart of humility. 
I want to be who I'm supposed to

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be, and by the way, I'm not 
prepared to beat you up today. 

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I'm prepared to encourage you 
because I have good news. 

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Good news about what it looks 
like from the word of God, to be

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a husband to be what God 
intends, and what God wants. 

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So we're humble we're prepared. 
We're saying Lord teach me, Lord

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lead me, Lord guide me, I'm 
submitting to the Lord Jesus 

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Christ. 
So what do we see right away in 

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scripture? 
What do we see right away in 

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Genesis? 
We see God, the father right 

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away, Mary's man and woman. 
Like we said last week, he 

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didn't just create Adam and Eve 
and said, hey you to hang 

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around, we'll see what happens. 
Let's see where this thing goes.

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That's not at all. 
What happened man and woman. 

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You're married. 
That was the instant intention 

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of the Lord, man, and woman 
marriage, man, and woman. 

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Ridge. 
That is the normative natural 

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order. 
That is the normative natural 

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design of the Lord. 
Why? 

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Well, because a man's natural 
design is to be a husband. 

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Remember what we said a man is a
man is a protector, a provider, 

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and a leader. 
Well that Finds Its perfect 

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expression instantly in 
marriage, a protector and 

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provider and leader of what of 
who a protector and provider and

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leader, Finds Its perfect 
expression right away as a 

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husband and father. 
So we see this as God's good 

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design for a man to not just be 
A solo but for a man it's not 

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good for a man to be so low. 
The Lord tells us but for a man 

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to marry a woman. 
So this is God's natural design 

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to vary from this or to be 
distinct from this or to not 

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marry that would be exceptional.
That would be making an 

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exception and the scripture 
shows us that there's a time and

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a place for that to be set apart
for Christ is the time the 

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distinction to do that. 
To say I'm going to deliberately

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not marry because I feel called 
to not marry. 

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I have the gift of This 
singleness, or as you could call

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it, I'm not burning with 
passion. 

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I'm not burning with lust 
because if you were the 

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scripture, says, get married. 
The scripture says it's better 

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to marry than to burn. 
Don't burn with lust, don't burn

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with passion, if I think I have 
the gift of singleness but I'm 

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also burning with passion. 
You don't have the gift of 

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singleness brother. 
You don't have the gift of 

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singleness sister, praise God, 
find someone to marry, give your

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life to them in marriage, that's
a good thing. 

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Nothing to be ashamed of its 
most natural thing in the world.

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That's the normal standard. 
That's the normal design. 

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It would be exceptional to be 
like what Paul said about 

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himself. 
He's always survives like me. 

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You could devote more time to 
the lord. 

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Well, I feel you on that pole. 
All. 

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And at the same time, if 
everybody was like you we'd be 

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out of this place pretty quick. 
We wouldn't be multiplying 

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anymore. 
So that's an impulsive. 

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But this is me speaking, not the
Lord. 

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So that was not the Holy Spirit 
giving a command, but we see an 

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imbalance happening. 
Now in the church we see 

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singleness being celebrated go. 
No you don't need to marry yet. 

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Live your life, do your thing? 
That's not normal. 

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That's super new to the world. 
That's super new to culture. 

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That's super new to society. 
It should not be rejoiced, it 

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should not be delighted just 
take forever. 

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Your thing, why what's the 
motive here? 

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Are you separating yourself unto
the Lord? 

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Oh, by all means, but that will 
be flagrantly and Blitz 

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glaringly obvious. 
If someone's living that way 

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it'll be glaringly obvious, that
that's the purpose of what 

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they're doing. 
If it's not glaringly obvious 

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that they're setting themselves 
apart for the Lord, then it's 

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glaringly obvious that there's 
something wrong. 

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Something is off. 
What are the details? 

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What we can't get in all the 
possibilities and motives, but 

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the point is, we know the 
design. 

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The, the healthy design is for a
man and woman. 

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To give to one another. 
A man has a desire, and a woman 

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has a desire and these things 
are perfectly expressed in 

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marriage. 
A woman is made to be a help to 

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beautify to glorifying to give 
life. 

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So Womanhood Womanhood also 
Finds Its Best expression as a 

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wife. 
And as a mother, this is Pastor 

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obvious kind of stuff. 
Like it's right there, man, 

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woman right away, come into 
marriage. 

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This is a good thing. 
So when we come together in 

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marriage, there are a couple 
things that we must know 

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foundationally in this series 
were talking about being 

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ecstatic. 
A married. 

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You saying that sounds a little 
bit too idealistic idealistic. 

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God is an idealist, God is going
to have his best, and he's going

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to have his way. 
So that's what we're pursuing. 

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We're pursuing God's best 
because you can have it as well.

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Your marriage can Thrive. 
You're going John Michael, I 

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love your enthusiasm, but you're
just naive man. 

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You just haven't seen enough. 
You just don't know enough. 

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You don't know where we're at? 
I might not know where you're 

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at. 
But you'd be surprised how much 

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I probably know about you. 
You probably be surprised at how

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much I know how to read and how 
much I know how to read people. 

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And particularly the people, I 
spend a lot of time with like I 

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do you and particularly, when 
what I do for a living is, I 

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Coachman and marriage and 
household things all the time. 

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So I'm very familiar with all 
the things that people think 

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that pastors don't know happen 
in households, all the things 

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that people think pastors are 
too naive to understand and 

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00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,000
comprehend and I could never 
talk to him about that. 

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I assure you. 
I've been talked to about that 

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and I assure you I would love to
help you through anything and 

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everything that you may be 
facing in any area of your life,

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that would be my joy and 
pleasure. 

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It's what I was put on the earth
to do is to be a blessing and a 

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gift to you in those ways. 
But when we come together in 

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marriage, as we're talking about
the ideals and how good it can 

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be, I want to make much of 
marriage and at the same time it

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is possible. 
It doesn't happen often but it 

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00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,600
is possible to go too far. 
It is possible to make marriage 

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to a husband or wife, the 
ultimate of the ultimates. 

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And it's not, it's a picture of 
the ultimate. 

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So I don't mean to downplay 
marriage at all because I don't 

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think that needs to happen. 
I think that happens enough but 

258
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I do want to clarify what is it 
all about? 

259
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,900
It's all about Jesus. 
That is the Sunday School answer

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00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:05,600
and it's the right answer. 
It's all about Jesus. 

261
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You belong to Jesus as a 
husband. 

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As a wife, but particularly 
husband's Jesus is your Lord and

263
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,200
Master, right? 
Right? 

264
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It's all about him. 
It's all for him. 

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You are not your own, his 
mission and his word is. 

266
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What you're pursuing, right? 
Right. 

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That's what we're doing here. 
Jesus said it this way, if 

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anyone comes to me and does not 
hate their wife, really, I've 

269
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got to hate my wife, 
specifically said anyone who 

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00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,700
comes to me and does not hate 
his own father and mother and 

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wife, and children, and brothers
and sisters. 

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Yes, even his own life. 
If you don't hate all that you 

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cannot be my disciple. 
What is Jesus telling us to hate

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all these people? 
Well, what he was doing here is 

275
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using hyperbole, he was making a
point. 

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He was saying I'm going to make 
this exaggerated point. 

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He's going to say your love for 
me. 

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00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:02,300
Should be so far greater than 
anything and everybody else. 

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Else. 
How do you know? 

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I thought we always just take 
what the word says, we take what

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00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,600
the whole word says and we see 
where we're commanded to love 

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our wives but Jesus is making a 
point. 

283
00:13:09,900 --> 00:13:12,200
He shocking the audience, 
they're going out like this guy.

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00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,600
All the crowds are starting to 
gather and Jesus knew how to fit

285
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:17,000
in a crowd, all the crowds start
Gathering. 

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00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,700
He's not going, how do we retain
more people? 

287
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,700
And we retain more people. 
We need better retention 

288
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:22,500
policies, we need to do more 
things. 

289
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,200
We need better coffee in the 
lobby. 

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00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,300
That's not what he did. 
As more and more of thousands 

291
00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:30,900
and thousands came, he said, 
hey, hey, you don't hate 

292
00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:34,100
everybody else, you can't. 
Be my disciple know like this is

293
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,400
a hard saying he's like yeah I 
know. 

294
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:41,300
I'm worth it though. 
And I don't know about that and 

295
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,200
of course he brings in the 
Fuller picture. 

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00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,600
The more time you spend with 
him, if you're humble enough to 

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00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,200
stick with him to listen because
he knows what he's worth. 

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00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,100
So this is what Jesus says about
himself and he knows he's the 

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00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:55,000
ultimate, your husband or your 
wife their gifts from God, but 

300
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:58,300
they are not God, marriage is 
not God, and our marriage is as 

301
00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,700
good. 
And as rich as they should be on

302
00:13:59,700 --> 00:14:03,100
this Earth, they will finish 
when we leave this earth and 

303
00:14:03,100 --> 00:14:06,600
they will point to constantly 
the greater marriage where Jesus

304
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,900
gets his bride, the church and 
We love and live with him 

305
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:15,700
forever. 
What else do we see? 

306
00:14:15,700 --> 00:14:17,300
What else? 
Do we know a husband and wife 

307
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,900
their brother and sister in 
Christ? 

308
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:21,300
You need her and she needs you 
to grow and to look more like 

309
00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:23,900
Christ to grow up into the 
maturity of Jesus. 

310
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,100
What else do we see? 
What else is foundational? 

311
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,900
Your love for your wife is meant
to reflect the love that Christ 

312
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,900
has for the church. 
So we're going to go to 

313
00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:34,800
Ephesians chapter 5. 
You were in Genesis you're going

314
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,700
to turn way to the back of your 
Bible in Ephesians. 

315
00:14:47,900 --> 00:15:00,500
Ephesians 5 verse 25. 
Husbands love your wives as 

316
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,900
Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her that he might

317
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,400
sanctify her. 
Having cleansed her by the 

318
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:10,400
washing of water with the word 
so that he might present the 

319
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:14,500
church to himself in splendor 
without spot or wrinkle or any 

320
00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:18,500
such thing that she might be 
holy and without blemish in the 

321
00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,500
same way husband's should love 
their wives. 

322
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:25,300
As their own bodies, he who 
loves his wife, loves himself 

323
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,300
for No one ever hated his own 
flesh, but nourishes and 

324
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:31,800
cherishes it just as Christ does
the church because we are 

325
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:35,400
members of his body. 
Therefore, Jesus quoting Genesis

326
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,500
now, therefore a man shall leave
his father and mother and hold 

327
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:42,700
fast to his wife or Paul quoting
Genesis Jesus quoted as well. 

328
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:46,200
But here, this is Paul hold fast
to his wife and the two shall 

329
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,000
become one flesh. 
This mystery is profound and I'm

330
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,700
saying that it refers to Christ 
in the church. 

331
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:55,200
However, Let each one of you 
love his wife as himself. 

332
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,500
And let the wife see that she 
respects her husband. 

333
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:02,100
So, what does a husband for? 
What does a husband do? 

334
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:07,100
A husband is made to cover and a
husband is made to protect Not 

335
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,700
not different from his role as a
man. 

336
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:11,000
We defined a man as a protector,
provider in leader. 

337
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:13,300
What's a husband for it? 
Well, a husband is made to cover

338
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:17,200
a husband, is made to protect 
and in Ephesians 5:25, we see 

339
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,700
that Jesus gave himself up, 
that's what a husband does. 

340
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:23,900
We said that masculinity has the
heart of service. 

341
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:27,300
Masculinity is pointed towards 
someone else, masculinity points

342
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:31,000
itself elsewhere to say, I'm 
going to use this masculinity. 

343
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,800
I'm not going to use femininity.
I'm going to use this 

344
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,600
masculinity but I'm going to put
it in service of others. 

345
00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:39,400
We do this as men. 
We know how to protect we take 

346
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,400
pride in that as we should. 
We know that we're supposed to 

347
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:45,400
walk on the road side, if you're
walking on the sidewalk, we know

348
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:47,700
to do that kind of thing, I'm 
putting myself in front of the 

349
00:16:47,708 --> 00:16:51,600
danger between her. 
I stand between my wife, in the 

350
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:55,800
world, I stand between my wife 
and the bad guy and that's good.

351
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,100
But we're supposed to stand 
between our wife and every 

352
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:02,000
threat, no matter what. 
It may look like foreign and 

353
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:05,099
domestic spiritual natural and 
emotional. 

354
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,000
This is where we start to level 
up as a husband, this is where 

355
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,700
it gets exciting. 
You know, the software that we 

356
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,800
have on our phones, it always 
having to put out the new 

357
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,300
version, this is what a husband 
should be doing as well. 

358
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,700
This is what a wife should be 
doing as well as what a Believer

359
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:21,099
should be doing as well. 
I'm born again and yet, I'm 

360
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:23,099
continuing to grow and 
continuing to be more 

361
00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:25,000
Sanctified. 
I'm continuing to be more 

362
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,400
mature. 
So husband 1.0 should look 

363
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:29,900
different from husband 2.0. 
And I want to continue to 

364
00:17:29,908 --> 00:17:32,200
release new versions ago. 
I've got something else. 

365
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,600
I can grow in husband. 1.0 says 
I made the money. 

366
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,500
I provided for these people and 
I made sure nothing bad 

367
00:17:38,500 --> 00:17:40,000
happened. 
That's good stuff. 

368
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,600
That's good. 
Godly and right. 

369
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:45,300
And yet thankfully there's a lot
more and the way the Lord does 

370
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,200
this is whenever we think we get
to level we're getting close to 

371
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,700
level 10. 
The Lord shows you. 

372
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:52,600
It goes to 100 and you think I'm
starting to get to 100. 

373
00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:54,600
Lord says, hey, it actually goes
to a thousand. 

374
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,700
This is good news. 
It's not a discouragement. 

375
00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,700
It's not a devastating thing. 
You get to see more fruit. 

376
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000
Why would I want to keep putting
in more work brother because the

377
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,400
fruit gets ridiculous. 
The fruit Gets really, really 

378
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,700
good. 
What kind of fruit are you 

379
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:10,500
talking about? 
If you can think about it then? 

380
00:18:10,500 --> 00:18:13,400
Yes, that's the kind of fruit 
I'm talking about it does. 

381
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,500
There's nothing, there's nothing
that the Lord doesn't give to 

382
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,800
the pleasures of marriage, 
everything that the Lord is 

383
00:18:18,808 --> 00:18:21,200
intended for marriage. 
He wants Christians to have 

384
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,200
Christian should have the best 
marriages. 

385
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:27,300
Christian should enjoy God's 
very best in household, and as a

386
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,900
husband continues to give 
himself in these ways and to 

387
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,800
find other ways to level up, not
just, I did the minimums. 

388
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,700
Well, those were important. 
Praise God for it. 

389
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,000
Thank you, keep up the great 
work, man of God and yet, keep 

390
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,000
up the great work. 
There's other levels, there's 

391
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:44,600
other ways to grow and protect. 
So, we want to cover our wives, 

392
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,700
not just physically, but we want
to cover our wives emotionally. 

393
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:50,100
We want to cover a wives 
spiritually, as well. 

394
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:55,800
Not being like, Adam, not being 
like, Adams, son, Cain, Adam 

395
00:18:55,800 --> 00:19:00,300
saying, It's this woman that you
gave me being passive standing 

396
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:04,600
by letting Eve experience the 
devastation of sin, letting Eve 

397
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,200
experience interaction with the 
Enemy and Adams, I don't know 

398
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,000
what he was telling himself. 
I don't know why he was just 

399
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,200
standing there and then Cain 
having the same attitude of his 

400
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:15,400
father, killing his brother in 
the Lord saying, where's your 

401
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,500
brother? 
And I My Brother's Keeper, it's 

402
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:22,900
not my, not my circus, not my 
monkeys, Constantly stepping 

403
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,600
back. 
This is the passive man. 

404
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,600
This is regression. 
This is sinful and this is the 

405
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,700
same Temptation that we have. 
I did my minimums give me a 

406
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:33,500
break. 
I did my minimums leave me alone

407
00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:36,400
instead of I want to build more 
and more. 

408
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,900
I want to see God's best. 
I want to see more fruit. 

409
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,700
The harder you work in your 
garden. 

410
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,200
The better. 
The fruit is the the the 

411
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:46,400
sweeter, the strawberries become
and the bigger the Harvest. 

412
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:50,100
So this is not a fruitless work,
this is not just an endless 

413
00:19:50,100 --> 00:19:53,100
labor, you're not sister. - just
pushing the rock uphill 

414
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:56,000
endlessly, it rolls back down. 
Well, what do I do now? 

415
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,300
Push it back up the hill. 
You're not just digging a hole 

416
00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,900
for no reason and filling it 
back in every single day. 

417
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,800
You're getting to enjoy the 
fruit. 

418
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,600
This is what Jesus does with the
church. 

419
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:06,700
Why does Jesus do it? 
Because he wants to present a 

420
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:10,100
bride to himself. 
I thought he just did it because

421
00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:12,400
he loves me so much. 
He does love you so much. 

422
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,900
And he wants to glorify his 
name, and he wants what he 

423
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:18,500
wants, and he wants to present a
bride to himself to bring him 

424
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:20,100
glory. 
God loves us. 

425
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:22,100
And God is also all about God's 
glory. 

426
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,900
It's not a wrong thing to want 
to want to enjoy Treasures to 

427
00:20:25,900 --> 00:20:28,400
want to enjoy Pleasures. 
We got to store them up in the 

428
00:20:28,408 --> 00:20:30,600
right place. 
Jesus tells us and at the same 

429
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,400
time, we want to cultivate our 
wives. 

430
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,700
For, what are you doing that? 
Because you love your wife. 

431
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,400
Are you doing that? 
Because you love yourself. 

432
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,300
Well, if he has made it plain 
that we should love both. 

433
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:42,500
Love your wife. 
As you love yourself, the Bible 

434
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:44,700
takes it for granted that a 
husband loves himself. 

435
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:47,600
That's a normal thing. 
It's not a wrong thing and yet 

436
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,300
we're to love both for the same 
reason. 

437
00:20:49,300 --> 00:20:50,900
That David wanted to kill 
Goliath. 

438
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,100
What did he want to do it for 
all the reward? 

439
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,600
Or did he want to do it? 
Because the Goliath was defying.

440
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:59,200
God both he want to do it 
because this giant is defying 

441
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,500
God and he found out. 
Whoa whoa whoa you get the 

442
00:21:01,508 --> 00:21:04,600
King's Daughter. 
You get all this money, you get 

443
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:08,100
all this land, what he asks, 
like three or four different 

444
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,100
times, like what do you get? 
I was already going to kill this

445
00:21:11,100 --> 00:21:13,000
dude, but you get what? 
And they're like. 

446
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,900
Yeah, you get all this other 
sign me up. 

447
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:18,900
Like, I'll go after this guy, 
this sounds great, as a husband.

448
00:21:18,900 --> 00:21:20,600
We do the same thing. 
I want the good fruit. 

449
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,600
I want to see my wife blessed. 
I want to see her thriving. 

450
00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,800
Why? 
Because I also enjoy that, I 

451
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,600
enjoy my wife at rest. 
I enjoy my wife thriving, I 

452
00:21:28,608 --> 00:21:33,700
enjoy my wife, when she's at her
best In First Peter, turn their 

453
00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,500
turn to First Peter, you're 
going to turn to your right 

454
00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:48,000
again. 
After James first Peter 3. 

455
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,300
He's giving household codes as 
they would call it. 

456
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,700
We're looking at verse 7 first 
Peter 3:7. 

457
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:06,500
Likewise Husbands live with your
wives in an understanding way 

458
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:10,500
showing honor to the woman as 
the weaker vessel since they are

459
00:22:10,500 --> 00:22:12,600
heirs with you of the grace of 
life. 

460
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,100
So that your prayers may not be 
hindered. 

461
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,900
I like how the Lord gives the 
command and then he has a threat

462
00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:22,800
on the end of it. 
It's not to be taken lightly. 

463
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,900
It's kind of funny and at the 
same time, it's dead serious. 

464
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,000
Live with your wives, in an 
understanding way understanding 

465
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,500
what? 
Well, one of the biggest errors 

466
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,400
that I see husband's making and 
a lot of the work that I do, 

467
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,200
they don't live with their wives
in an understanding way, 

468
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:40,400
understanding that she is a 
woman, understanding that a 

469
00:22:40,408 --> 00:22:42,600
woman in a manner different like
we were talking about, as we 

470
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:45,200
Define masculinity and 
femininity and just were not 

471
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,000
interchangeable gender-neutral 
humans. 

472
00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:50,200
We know that at the social 
level, but in marriage, we often

473
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,700
times still functional. 
Behave like we are 

474
00:22:52,708 --> 00:22:56,100
interchangeable functionally. 
We act as though our wife should

475
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,500
act like a dude, but your wife 
is not a bro. 

476
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,800
Your wife is not a dude. 
You didn't want to marry a man. 

477
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:06,100
You wanted to marry a woman, so 
do not masculinize her. 

478
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,100
How do I masculinize my wife 
with your intensity with your 

479
00:23:11,100 --> 00:23:17,300
logic with your argumentation? 
Don't conquer her with your 

480
00:23:17,300 --> 00:23:21,100
dominance, your dominance your 
strength, all these things are 

481
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:24,600
strengths, but all these things 
are very masculine and they need

482
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,500
to be applied in masculine 
settings, you and me on the back

483
00:23:27,500 --> 00:23:30,400
deck, bro, we can Spar, we can 
go back and forth. 

484
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,900
We can argue, we can tease, 
there's all kinds of things that

485
00:23:32,900 --> 00:23:36,100
we can do and it's fine but 
often times a wife is going to 

486
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:38,000
be crushed. 
Oftentimes a wife is going to be

487
00:23:38,008 --> 00:23:42,200
hardened by these things. 
They the the modern man looks to

488
00:23:42,208 --> 00:23:45,400
his wife and says toughen up and
this is Devastating. 

489
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,500
This is a terrible thing to say,
to a woman, toughen up, I was 

490
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:49,600
shit. 
Why should she have to toughen 

491
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,500
up? 
She has a covering right about. 

492
00:23:51,500 --> 00:23:53,900
She has a protector. 
Why does she have to be so tough

493
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,900
and so hard? 
We want her softer. 

494
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:58,500
Actually, we want her enjoying 
the feminine. 

495
00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:02,800
Understanding what understanding
that she should be enjoying her 

496
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,100
femininity rather than adapting 
herself and becoming more 

497
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:08,300
masculine. 
A lot of times, we've 

498
00:24:08,300 --> 00:24:10,900
masculinized our wives and then 
we blamed our wives for being 

499
00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:12,900
masculine. 
She's bossy. 

500
00:24:12,900 --> 00:24:15,600
She's nagging. 
She's She's hard-charging. 

501
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:18,400
She's so headstrong. 
Well, she learned from the best.

502
00:24:19,100 --> 00:24:22,000
She got, she got life on life, 
lessons day after day. 

503
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,400
Where you're constantly showing 
her? 

504
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,100
What does it look like to be 
intense? 

505
00:24:25,100 --> 00:24:27,200
Well, what do you mean by that? 
What do you mean by that, 

506
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,100
painting her into a corner with 
logic? 

507
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:30,700
A lot of men are good at this 
stuff. 

508
00:24:30,900 --> 00:24:33,900
A lot of men are really strong 
at thinking clearly I think so, 

509
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:36,600
clearly, and logically, brother,
that's a strength. 

510
00:24:36,900 --> 00:24:38,600
That's a gift. 
And it's nothing to repent of. 

511
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:40,900
And yet, we don't want to 
intimidate our wives with 

512
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,800
dominance. 
I've worked with a lot of guys 

513
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,900
in the work that I do and it 
First, I couldn't sniff it out. 

514
00:24:45,900 --> 00:24:49,600
I didn't recognize that they 
were weak on compassion because 

515
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,100
I saw that they love their 
wives. 

516
00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:53,400
That was obvious. 
They love their wives just like 

517
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,800
you do just like I do but as I 
spent more time coaching them, 

518
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,400
as I spent more time hearing 
about the back and forth, I 

519
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:03,000
started realizing like bro you 
need to chill out. 

520
00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,500
It was just the simple thing. 
I like bro chill out is the 

521
00:25:06,500 --> 00:25:10,400
thing II needed to tell them and
the like oh and also well I 

522
00:25:10,408 --> 00:25:13,100
didn't realize I know you didn't
realize you're just too intense 

523
00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:15,500
man. 
When you walk The room dude, 

524
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,600
your wife to her shoulders drop 
and she at rest or when you walk

525
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,100
into the room is your wife, more
tense? 

526
00:25:21,100 --> 00:25:24,400
Because you're there. 
Man, this is kind of exposing I 

527
00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:26,400
feel you on that bro. 
But the good news is all this is

528
00:25:26,408 --> 00:25:28,800
subject to change. 
This is not to humiliate and 

529
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,000
shame and go. 
Yeah. 

530
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,900
Yeah that's not my point. 
My point is if you see any of 

531
00:25:32,908 --> 00:25:36,400
that bad for recognize that 
you're the man, you're the man 

532
00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,000
who can change this thing. 
We said we're the husband where 

533
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,900
the captain of the ship for 
better or worse. 

534
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:42,300
Well, let's make sure it's for 
better. 

535
00:25:42,700 --> 00:25:45,400
So if you're seeing any of the 
bad fruit that I reference don't

536
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:46,700
be embarrassed or ashamed, by 
it. 

537
00:25:46,700 --> 00:25:48,500
Don't feel like she's going to 
point that out, brother. 

538
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,500
I already pointed out. 
Okay, it's out. 

539
00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:54,700
It's pointed. 
It's okay, as long as you 

540
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:58,000
repent. 
So yes, is my ego wounded by 

541
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,200
some of the stuff of course, and
yet, get over it. 

542
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,300
Welcome to the crucifixion of 
the flesh. 

543
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,900
This is what you signed up for, 
right? 

544
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:07,600
Oh, I didn't know it was 
actually gonna. 

545
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,300
Yeah, it's actually, it actually
hurts. 

546
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,100
I want to Christianity. 
They didn't they didn't cost me 

547
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,900
anything. 
It doesn't exist. 

548
00:26:15,300 --> 00:26:17,600
There is no version. 
There isn't one. 

549
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:20,800
If you have a Christianity that 
didn't cost you anything, you 

550
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,600
don't have Christianity and 
you're not a Believer. 

551
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:26,000
Well, that's hard. 
No, it's not. 

552
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,300
It that's love as well. 
Just like Jesus said. 

553
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,500
This is so I got nothing, but 
good news. 

554
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,700
I want you to have good fruit. 
I want you to have the best 

555
00:26:33,700 --> 00:26:37,000
fruit. 
So, living with your wife, in an

556
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,500
understanding way. 
What else does this mean? 

557
00:26:38,500 --> 00:26:40,600
What else do I need to 
understand about my wife, 

558
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:43,400
understand that she needs to 
process her emotions with you. 

559
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,300
This is not a fall, this is not 
a fault. 

560
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,600
This is a feature. 
This is a good thing. 

561
00:26:48,700 --> 00:26:52,900
That is part of every woman. 
Not my wife, brother sister, 

562
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,300
whom some of you women. 
You like not me my sister. 

563
00:26:55,300 --> 00:26:56,900
If that's you if you would say 
not me. 

564
00:26:56,900 --> 00:26:58,200
I don't like to process my 
emotions. 

565
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:03,300
I didn't say you don't like to. 
I said that you need to and many

566
00:27:03,300 --> 00:27:07,200
women have been masculinized by 
Culture by hardship by trauma, 

567
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,800
but a loving husband can help to
soften his wife. 

568
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,800
Again, give her a place of 
safety where she can actually 

569
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,500
Express her emotions in a safe 
and vulnerable way. 

570
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,600
And her husband that can then 
come in with his loving 

571
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,300
leadership to bless and to 
nurture her through those 

572
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,200
things. 
I don't know how to do that. 

573
00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,600
Well, join the club, bro. 
It's not the easiest thing in 

574
00:27:24,608 --> 00:27:26,300
the world, but there is a path 
forward. 

575
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,200
But it starts by getting her to 
share vulnerably baby. 

576
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,000
What are you feeling? 
Why? 

577
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,300
I feel like you're a jerk with 
a? 

578
00:27:32,308 --> 00:27:35,400
No, that's that's not a feeling 
that's an accusation. 

579
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,600
I'm asking for a literal 
emotion. 

580
00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:44,700
In a motion, like, sad, happy 
abandoned discouraged, 

581
00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:46,700
overwhelmed. 
I'm asking, I don't want to 

582
00:27:46,700 --> 00:27:47,900
share that. 
That's too vulnerable. 

583
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:49,700
Welcome to submission. 
My sister. 

584
00:27:50,500 --> 00:27:52,000
Welcome. 
Welcome to the thing that's 

585
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,800
difficult for you. 
Well, what if he doesn't do 

586
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,900
right with it? 
Welcome to submission. 

587
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:58,100
What if he doesn't honor it yet,
that's scary. 

588
00:27:58,600 --> 00:27:59,700
That's scary. 
Isn't it? 

589
00:27:59,700 --> 00:28:02,200
All the wives are gone. 
I'm scared if I do that, then he

590
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,300
won't write. 
So that's why we're going to 

591
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,400
talk about that next week. 
But what we're talking about is 

592
00:28:06,700 --> 00:28:08,400
and that's why we're going to 
end the whole series with the 

593
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:09,600
log. 
In your own eye. 

594
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:13,000
So I'll be saying to everybody, 
hey, focus on you. 

595
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:16,000
This is the best path forward 
husband's, you have incredible 

596
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,900
influence to change everything. 
Wives you have incredible 

597
00:28:19,900 --> 00:28:24,000
influence to change everything. 
Look in the mirror and this is 

598
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,900
where you can enjoy God's best 
understand that your wife wants 

599
00:28:27,900 --> 00:28:29,600
and needs. 
So she might not want, but your 

600
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,700
wife needs to process her 
emotions with you her head 

601
00:28:32,700 --> 00:28:34,200
rather than being told her 
Emotions. 

602
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:37,000
Don't Count. 
I didn't know how to handle this

603
00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,000
woman's emotions for a long 
time. 

604
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:42,000
I thought, I just need to make 
her more like me. 

605
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,800
I just need to make her harder 
like bait. 

606
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,400
That doesn't make any sense. 
You shouldn't feel that way. 

607
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,400
Oh, Tada, I fixed it. 
I told her, she shouldn't feel 

608
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:55,400
that feeling problem solved. 
Way to go hero, husband to the 

609
00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:56,900
year. 
It's all. 

610
00:28:56,900 --> 00:28:58,400
I knew. 
I didn't understand. 

611
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,200
Like she's flawed, she's so 
feely. 

612
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,000
I don't know why. 
She's like this. 

613
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,500
Well, you married a woman John, 
Michael. 

614
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,100
Did you intend to do that? 
Well yeah but I just wanted the 

615
00:29:09,100 --> 00:29:11,600
other woman parts. 
No, no. 

616
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:13,600
You want that? 
You want the whole woman part? 

617
00:29:13,700 --> 00:29:16,100
Because it will bless you. 
It's a beautiful thing. 

618
00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:18,500
It will require more of you. 
It will require you. 

619
00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:20,400
John, Michael do to stop being a
boy. 

620
00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:24,900
It will require you John Michael
to stop being so selfish, which 

621
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:27,900
again, welcome to the point. 
John, Michael to actually know 

622
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:30,200
how to love your wife as Christ 
loves the church. 

623
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:34,500
He's helping us mature. 
No doubt he's helping us grow. 

624
00:29:34,500 --> 00:29:40,200
No Doubt. but he's also gentle, 
he's tender the bruise, the 

625
00:29:40,200 --> 00:29:43,900
bruised Reed, he will not break 
the smoldering Wick, he will not

626
00:29:43,900 --> 00:29:48,700
put it out, he's gentle, husband
is gentle with his wife. 

627
00:29:53,300 --> 00:29:56,500
Now, this isn't the same thing 
as saying, that all of your 

628
00:29:56,500 --> 00:29:58,600
wife's emotions, always serve 
her. 

629
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,000
Well, that would be the Other 
Extreme that, when we're not 

630
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,400
affirming, every single emotion 
is totally valid. 

631
00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,900
So, that's not the same thing. 
So when I'm saying to ask your 

632
00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,400
wife to share her emotions with 
you, baby, what's the emotion 

633
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,400
while? 
I feel like everything's falling

634
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,200
apart, we still didn't get an 
emotion yet. 

635
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,900
We actually want an emotion. 
I feel scared now, we're getting

636
00:30:17,900 --> 00:30:19,700
somewhere. 
Now I can come in with my 

637
00:30:19,700 --> 00:30:21,300
leadership but my leadership 
should not be. 

638
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,900
Don't feel scared. 
My leadership needs to look more

639
00:30:25,900 --> 00:30:29,200
like, alright? 
I know Natalie's afraid, what 

640
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,400
are you gonna do about that? 
How can I help with that? 

641
00:30:33,100 --> 00:30:35,000
Maybe I'll minister to her 
through the word. 

642
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,100
Maybe I'll walk out the details 
of the scenario a little bit. 

643
00:30:39,100 --> 00:30:41,700
Hey baby, I know you're afraid. 
Let me encourage you with 

644
00:30:41,700 --> 00:30:43,400
something or I'm sorry, you're 
afraid. 

645
00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,800
Let's pray. 
Instead of don't feel that way. 

646
00:30:45,900 --> 00:30:47,800
That's dumb. 
I'm not afraid. 

647
00:30:47,800 --> 00:30:50,200
You shouldn't be afraid. 
Well, there might be a way to 

648
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:51,600
communicate baby. 
I'm not scared at all. 

649
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,000
That my build a little bit of 
confidence. 

650
00:30:53,100 --> 00:30:54,700
Intense, but it's not the whole 
fix. 

651
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:59,300
So understand that at the same 
time every single emotion, she 

652
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:01,500
feels I don't become the servant
to every emotion. 

653
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:05,900
My wife feels but I but I do 
serve my wife with my leadership

654
00:31:05,900 --> 00:31:08,200
and with my head ship to make 
sure I'm thinking about this 

655
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,400
one, what's best. 
And what's next, what she 

656
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,600
feeling, what she experiencing, 
she's worried, she's afraid, 

657
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,200
she's worried about finances. 
Okay, well then now I can I can 

658
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:19,900
provide some leadership, I can 
provide some Direction, but that

659
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,500
that here's the good thing about
this lady's. 

660
00:31:21,500 --> 00:31:24,700
Just so you know that actually 
creates in us the desire to 

661
00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:27,700
serve better. 
You share vulnerably versus when

662
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,500
you tell us what to do when you 
say you need to do this with the

663
00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:33,200
money. 
Hmm I don't like that, don't do 

664
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:36,300
that, I don't receive that, I 
don't appreciate that. 

665
00:31:36,300 --> 00:31:39,200
But when you say I'm scared and 
I'm worried about I'm going, I 

666
00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:40,800
don't want that, I don't want 
that. 

667
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,800
At all, you're scared and you're
worried. 

668
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,300
What will I'm husband is here to
save the day. 

669
00:31:45,300 --> 00:31:47,500
Now, I get to be the hero now. 
I get to step in with 

670
00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:49,500
leadership. 
Now I get to go. 

671
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,700
I got this. 
Oh, I don't want you afraid. 

672
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:54,200
You see the difference. 
Well, but how do I really get 

673
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,300
him to do it? 
Welcome to Submission my 

674
00:31:56,300 --> 00:31:59,500
sisters. 
You don't you don't get him, you

675
00:31:59,500 --> 00:32:01,000
don't get to make him do it. 
Welcome. 

676
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,300
That's the role of submission. 
Well, but what if he doesn't 

677
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,900
again, welcome to your role and 
your part and he has the burden 

678
00:32:07,900 --> 00:32:11,900
of the responsibility of 
actually seeing it out loving 

679
00:32:11,900 --> 00:32:13,700
and living with his wife in an 
understanding way. 

680
00:32:13,700 --> 00:32:17,100
What if he doesn't remember, 
he's a man under Authority and 

681
00:32:17,100 --> 00:32:19,900
his prayers will be hindered. 
The Lord won't even answer him 

682
00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:21,900
and nothing's going right in my 
life. 

683
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:25,000
How you treat your wife brother?
Everything's falling apart. 

684
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,000
How's your wife? 
I don't have time for that. 

685
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,400
I got to worry about. 
It's probably the Elder way. 

686
00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:31,800
It's probably the way you is 
probably the way you weren't 

687
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,000
thinking. 
It's probably the reverse of 

688
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:34,200
that. 
How's your wife? 

689
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,200
How's your first Ministry going 
Colossians 3:19. 

690
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,900
Says husband's. 
Love your wives and do not be 

691
00:32:40,900 --> 00:32:44,000
harsh with them all throughout 
the New Testament. 

692
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,600
The commands given two husbands 
are love your wives, love your 

693
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,400
wives, be gentle nourish, 
cherish do not be harsh. 

694
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,200
Why would he say all these 
things to us? 

695
00:32:52,300 --> 00:32:55,700
I have no idea. 
Obviously because that's my 

696
00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:57,900
Temptation. 
I'm tempted towards harshness. 

697
00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:00,900
I'm tempted towards a hardness. 
I'm tempted towards a coldness. 

698
00:33:00,900 --> 00:33:04,300
I'm tempted towards a passivity.
And I'm tempted to swing the 

699
00:33:04,300 --> 00:33:09,200
pendulum between the two to or 
I'm over it. 

700
00:33:10,100 --> 00:33:15,000
Or run or I'm over it. 
What does this do? 

701
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:18,400
Is this wife blossoming in this 
environment? 

702
00:33:19,300 --> 00:33:20,900
Mr. Hot mr. 
Cold. 

703
00:33:21,100 --> 00:33:23,500
What is she supposed to think? 
She's gonna feel insecure. 

704
00:33:23,900 --> 00:33:25,800
She's gonna feel scared. 
She's gonna go. 

705
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,700
I wish my husband was under 
authority of the Lord. 

706
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:29,900
Jesus Christ. 
I would trust that I could 

707
00:33:29,900 --> 00:33:33,700
respond to that, but do not be 
harsh with them. 

708
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:35,700
Why? 
Because obviously a harshness is

709
00:33:35,700 --> 00:33:38,700
our temptation, but we don't 
want to harden our wives. 

710
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,800
What else is a husband made for 
a husband is made to lead, 

711
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,300
Naturally and spiritually. 
First, we'll look at Naturally. 

712
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,300
A husband's made to lead 
naturally. 

713
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:50,200
What does that look like? 
Well, first of all, we got 

714
00:33:50,200 --> 00:33:51,700
understand that leading your 
wife. 

715
00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:54,500
This is a high calling. 
This is a good thing when I 

716
00:33:54,508 --> 00:33:56,800
first understood the burden. 
When is the first started to get

717
00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,800
put on me, it scared me, and I 
didn't want it at all, which is 

718
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:03,500
why I'm convinced most of the 
time in the west, especially 

719
00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:06,200
people fight for. 
And they said they want the 

720
00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:10,699
egalitarian perspective, the 
50-50 women want it because 

721
00:34:10,699 --> 00:34:12,600
they've been lied to by the 
enemy. 

722
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,199
To think that it's a position of
power and strength, which 

723
00:34:15,199 --> 00:34:18,400
they've been deceived and Men 
want it because they get to get 

724
00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:20,900
out of responsibility. 
That was why I liked it. 

725
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:23,600
Everything's 50/50. 
That means it's half your fault.

726
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,500
Whoo. 
So I can never ultimately bear 

727
00:34:26,500 --> 00:34:28,800
too much of a burden because I 
can always go. 

728
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:32,600
It takes two to tango. 
I can always make reference to 

729
00:34:32,608 --> 00:34:34,800
Natalie. 
So I that's why there's a 

730
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:37,100
cowardice involved in the 
egalitarian perspective. 

731
00:34:37,100 --> 00:34:39,300
It's like, well, what are you 
gonna do? 

732
00:34:39,699 --> 00:34:41,400
She wouldn't go to counseling 
with me. 

733
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,400
Oh, so, I guess you're just 
stuck in the mud, right? 

734
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,100
You can do nothing. 
Well, I could, but it won't 

735
00:34:46,100 --> 00:34:49,199
matter. 
It's not true you could and it 

736
00:34:49,199 --> 00:34:51,500
wouldn't matter. 
You couldn't, it would make a 

737
00:34:51,507 --> 00:34:54,000
difference, leading a wife as a 
high calling and keep going away

738
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,500
from things here. 
It's something done. 

739
00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:59,500
First for the Lord, though, this
is very important. 

740
00:34:59,500 --> 00:35:02,700
Husbands get this wrong when 
they try to do things first for 

741
00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:04,600
their wives ladies. 
You're not going to like this, 

742
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:06,900
but then you're going to like it
because you're going to see the 

743
00:35:06,900 --> 00:35:10,100
blessing in it. 
Husbands do what you're doing 

744
00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:11,600
for the Lord and not for your 
wives. 

745
00:35:12,100 --> 00:35:14,500
Your wives will be impossible to
please. 

746
00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:16,300
It was like, Ugh. 
Amen. 

747
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,000
But I didn't intend that part to
be funny. 

748
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:24,200
I didn't intend that to be 
clever, but it, but here's what 

749
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,200
I mean, whatever, a husband 
takes the approach that says, 

750
00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:30,200
tell me what to do, whenever 
husband takes the approach and 

751
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,000
says, just tell me what you 
want. 

752
00:35:32,100 --> 00:35:34,600
Whenever husband takes the 
approach that says, just tell me

753
00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,600
what would make you happy. 
All of this actually makes a 

754
00:35:37,608 --> 00:35:41,600
wife feel even more insecure. 
It's a horrifying thing for her 

755
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,900
to feel inside of her because 
she sees that ultimately, if he 

756
00:35:44,900 --> 00:35:49,500
has that approach, it says, just
tell me she realizes, she's 

757
00:35:49,500 --> 00:35:52,500
actually in charge and she is in
control. 

758
00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,100
And that means she's ultimately 
responsible for everything 

759
00:35:55,300 --> 00:35:57,600
that's terrifying. 
Why? 

760
00:35:57,600 --> 00:35:59,500
Because headship is a real 
thing. 

761
00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:04,000
No matter what anybody says, 
they believe about it headship 

762
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:05,700
is real. 
It exists in the heart of a 

763
00:36:05,700 --> 00:36:07,500
woman. 
It exists in the heart of a man.

764
00:36:07,500 --> 00:36:10,500
It's an inescapable truth, no 
matter what anybody would claim.

765
00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:12,700
They believe we're even have a 
functionally operate. 

766
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,500
This is why most marriages wives
are tense. 

767
00:36:15,500 --> 00:36:17,600
Wives are stressed. 
Wives are overwhelmed. 

768
00:36:18,300 --> 00:36:21,200
Husbands are generally clueless.
Generally, these are the 

769
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:23,200
defaults that we fall to. 
This is what Natalie? 

770
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,700
And I experienced for a long 
time. 

771
00:36:24,900 --> 00:36:26,100
She was 10. 
She was stressed. 

772
00:36:26,100 --> 00:36:27,700
Why? 
Because their, she had to be the

773
00:36:27,700 --> 00:36:30,300
husband. 
I was kind of the husband. 

774
00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,500
I want to be the husband on the 
cool stuff. 

775
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:33,400
I want to be in charge, make no 
mistake. 

776
00:36:33,500 --> 00:36:35,800
I wanted Authority. 
I definitely wanted that leg of 

777
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:36,700
leadership. 
Ship. 

778
00:36:36,700 --> 00:36:39,500
But the responsibility part and 
the compassion part nanites. 

779
00:36:39,500 --> 00:36:41,900
So much, but the power. 
Oh yeah, that belongs to me. 

780
00:36:41,900 --> 00:36:43,300
That's really that's in the 
Bible. 

781
00:36:45,100 --> 00:36:47,100
We're going to stand on the word
of God. 

782
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:51,000
When it comes to me, being in 
charge problem, is, I didn't 

783
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,200
know what being in charge was 
supposed to look like, I 

784
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:58,500
thought, like a child, When the 
boys were little they they built

785
00:36:58,500 --> 00:37:01,500
a fort in the are I built them a
fort in the backyard and I went 

786
00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:02,900
back there. 
One day, they had taken a piece 

787
00:37:02,900 --> 00:37:07,300
of charcoal and one of them had 
written the rules for the club 

788
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,700
and the rules for the club were 
written on the wall of the club 

789
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:13,000
and in the charcoal from the 
fire pit and rule. 

790
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:14,700
Number one was obey. 
The leader. 

791
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,400
Don't know what we stand for, 
don't know what we're about, but

792
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,000
I know you better obey. 
The leader. 

793
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,700
Rule number two was like comic 
books. 

794
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,600
And then rule number three. 
It was, it was something about 

795
00:37:28,600 --> 00:37:30,300
obeying. 
The leader it was like, do what 

796
00:37:30,300 --> 00:37:32,500
the leader says. 
It was like, we had to make sure

797
00:37:32,500 --> 00:37:35,500
that that one was in there. 
What is that? 

798
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:37,500
Well, that's a childish 
immaturity, and it's how most 

799
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:39,100
adults even think about 
leadership. 

800
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,400
Most adults, think leadership is
exclusively the leg of 

801
00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:44,100
authority. 
They don't even know that 

802
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,200
there's three legs to 
leadership, compassion 

803
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:49,700
responsibility and authority. 
And they don't even know how to 

804
00:37:49,700 --> 00:37:51,800
define Authority. 
So we're going to do all that 

805
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,500
properly and accurately here, 
but husband's I want to Set you 

806
00:37:54,500 --> 00:37:56,600
free brother. 
Stop living to please your wife.

807
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,400
It's an impossible and it is 
it's impossible. 

808
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:03,400
And it is a Fool's. 
Errand, I love to please my wife

809
00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:08,500
but I do not live to please my 
wife When pleasing the Lord 

810
00:38:08,500 --> 00:38:10,000
pleases my wife. 
Wonderful. 

811
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,200
But here's the truth. 
Her best chance at happiness is 

812
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:16,700
actually you living for the 
glory of God, that's her best 

813
00:38:16,700 --> 00:38:18,200
chance. 
That's the thing that will bring

814
00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:20,100
her the most Comfort. 
Anyway, so there's going to be 

815
00:38:20,100 --> 00:38:22,500
days while I'm trying to do this
leadership thing but she won't 

816
00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:25,300
follow me brother nobody. 
I'm keep on doing what you're 

817
00:38:25,300 --> 00:38:26,700
supposed to do. 
Keep on being who you're 

818
00:38:26,700 --> 00:38:28,100
supposed to be. 
Keep on going where you're 

819
00:38:28,100 --> 00:38:30,200
supposed to go. 
Yeah, but she doesn't, I didn't 

820
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,000
say she's gonna cheer for you 
every single day. 

821
00:38:32,900 --> 00:38:36,900
But the Lord will and ultimately
she will grow. 

822
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,300
She will mature. 
This is how you can bless her. 

823
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,700
This is how you can love her. 
This is how you can lead her 

824
00:38:41,700 --> 00:38:43,100
well. 
But if you're looking to her as 

825
00:38:43,100 --> 00:38:47,000
your report card constantly, now
there is a way that a wife is 

826
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:50,000
the report card of a husband in 
a sense, but that's not what I'm

827
00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000
talking about right now. 
So, in the sense, I mean, let 

828
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:55,500
me, let me look at your wife and
then I can tell you about how 

829
00:38:55,500 --> 00:38:57,500
you're doing as a husband. 
There is a sense where that's 

830
00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:58,800
true. 
That's not what I'm saying in 

831
00:38:58,800 --> 00:39:00,100
this moment. 
I'm not saying you're looking 

832
00:39:00,100 --> 00:39:01,500
over your shoulder of 
everything, you're doing going, 

833
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:02,900
is this right? 
Right? 

834
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,500
Is this the way is this? 
Why should she saw? 

835
00:39:05,500 --> 00:39:06,800
I don't know how to be a 
husband. 

836
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,200
I'm a wife. 
You be the husband? 

837
00:39:09,700 --> 00:39:12,300
I don't want to tell you because
if I tell you that, I'm still 

838
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:15,900
responsible for where we are and
I know you still don't have me. 

839
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,700
I know you don't have me really,
and I want you to have me. 

840
00:39:21,100 --> 00:39:22,800
I want to know that everything's
gonna be okay. 

841
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,600
So she doesn't want to be 
responsible for everything, but 

842
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:30,300
we were made to be So you must 
be a husband for the glory of 

843
00:39:30,300 --> 00:39:34,000
God, not to make your wife happy
because trying to make her happy

844
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,300
will never make her happy her 
best chance at happiness. 

845
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,700
Is you leading with a mission 
and with a plan? 

846
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,800
So a husband is to say the big 
stuff. 

847
00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:44,100
I talked about the big rocks, 
we've got this huge pile of 

848
00:39:44,100 --> 00:39:47,000
debris that has to be moved and 
household in marriage. 

849
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,000
There's sand that can be moved 
their smaller rocks. 

850
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,900
That can be moved wives and 
children can move those things 

851
00:39:51,900 --> 00:39:53,000
but there's some Boulders in 
there. 

852
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,300
Bubba there. 
There's only one person who's 

853
00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:56,500
going to carry those things 
away. 

854
00:39:56,900 --> 00:39:58,400
There's only one. 
There's only one. 

855
00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:01,700
A person who can get under the 
weight of that thing and say I 

856
00:40:01,700 --> 00:40:04,200
got this one, those are the 
heavy rocks. 

857
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,100
We were built for and we were 
made for him. 

858
00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:08,600
This is a good thing. 
This is a source of pride and 

859
00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,400
joy for a man that what kind of 
big rocks you talking about. 

860
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,600
I'm talking about the who we are
as a family. 

861
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:18,700
This is who the Clarks are. 
This is what we're about, this 

862
00:40:18,700 --> 00:40:23,400
is where we're going. 
Then a wife can find her place 

863
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,200
in that mission. 
When my wife just admit she 

864
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,600
needs submission. 
Submission submission sub 

865
00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:37,200
Mission sub meaning under Sub 
Mission sub meaning under what 

866
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,300
under a mission. 
But a lot of guys say, like, 

867
00:40:39,300 --> 00:40:42,000
John Michael used to, I want 
Natalie to submit submit to. 

868
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:45,900
What to what, where you going, 
homie? 

869
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,000
What's the plan here? 
Oh, what you doing? 

870
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,700
Captain? 
I don't know, but she should 

871
00:40:50,700 --> 00:40:54,500
submit to me. 
So, what where are you going? 

872
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,300
What are you doing? 
Who are you as a man? 

873
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:01,300
I don't know, but I just, she 
said submit, because I'm a big 

874
00:41:01,300 --> 00:41:03,500
boy. 
Now, I got a wedding band. 

875
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:04,200
Okay. 
Okay. 

876
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,400
It's okay to start there and if 
you're there right now brother, 

877
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,300
it's okay. 
As long as you repent and say, 

878
00:41:11,500 --> 00:41:15,500
wow, this is game changer as it 
should be, guys. 

879
00:41:15,500 --> 00:41:18,700
I worked with guys again for 
anybody doesn't know for context

880
00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:20,700
here, I do coaching I work with 
husband's. 

881
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,600
I've worked with guys into their
60s and they're going. 

882
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,100
I'm 65 years old. 
And I've never heard this alone,

883
00:41:27,100 --> 00:41:29,800
this in my entire life and I 
say, praise God for your 

884
00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,000
humility. 
Praise God for that because if 

885
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,800
you weren't humble, there's no 
hope or help for you, but Are 

886
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,000
men? 
Who said, oh my goodness. 

887
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:39,900
I wish I had learned this me 
too, man. 

888
00:41:40,100 --> 00:41:42,100
I just learned the hard way, but
let's pick it up, brother. 

889
00:41:42,100 --> 00:41:43,300
Let's go! 
We got this. 

890
00:41:43,500 --> 00:41:45,800
Praise God! 
Let's see what the Lord will do.

891
00:41:46,200 --> 00:41:47,400
We're not going to begin in 
despair. 

892
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,200
When I go out the enemy 
discourage us. 

893
00:41:49,500 --> 00:41:51,300
We're here now baby. 
Let's go. 

894
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,600
The Lord brings Resurrection out
of dead things. 

895
00:41:54,700 --> 00:41:57,200
You were made for this, you were
built for this, you can get 

896
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,600
under the weight of this big 
rock and and you can lead your 

897
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,600
family with strength and with 
love. 

898
00:42:02,700 --> 00:42:06,100
And this is what helps a wife, 
this helps a wife to actually 

899
00:42:06,100 --> 00:42:08,500
get under a mission and she 
goes, that's something I can 

900
00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:11,600
help with. 
I got something to do now, but a

901
00:42:11,608 --> 00:42:13,400
woman remember, is made to be a 
helper. 

902
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,200
And she will find a place in a 
way to help I work. 

903
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,300
With a lot of guys who like, I 
wish my wife Karen more about 

904
00:42:18,300 --> 00:42:21,100
our family and our household, my
brother is their big mission and

905
00:42:21,108 --> 00:42:23,400
there's a big Vision. 
There's like no, but she her 

906
00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:25,500
work is Her everything. 
Well, there's a big mission 

907
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,500
there that that man's leading 
that organization. 

908
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,200
So she's like, this is something
to give myself to at something, 

909
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,400
to do. 
I want to help, I want to build 

910
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,600
something up. 
I want to be a part of 

911
00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,700
something, as a husband, we can 
give our wife, that this is who 

912
00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:39,500
we are. 
This is our next chapter. 

913
00:42:39,500 --> 00:42:41,800
This is our next season. 
Well, how do I figure that out? 

914
00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:43,700
Well, we can work through all 
that together and welcome to the

915
00:42:43,700 --> 00:42:47,300
men's round table, but this is 
who we are. 

916
00:42:47,300 --> 00:42:49,000
This is where we're going, this 
is what we're about. 

917
00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:53,400
Giving her a place to give her 
very best where you can enjoy 

918
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:55,300
her. 
And she can enjoy giving her 

919
00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:57,100
best to her husband and her 
household. 

920
00:42:57,500 --> 00:43:00,100
If a husband doesn't step into 
his High Calling, as this way 

921
00:43:00,100 --> 00:43:03,200
with a, like a man with a plan 
and he just keeps living as the 

922
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,200
guy who got the girl and doesn't
know what to do. 

923
00:43:05,200 --> 00:43:09,200
For the next five decades, then 
his wife will be tempted to fill

924
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:10,900
that leadership void in their 
marriage. 

925
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,100
And this is where you run into a
lot of the conflict where wives 

926
00:43:14,100 --> 00:43:17,200
start to step up and then, you 
know, you end up over here 

927
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,300
henpecked and she's running 
everything. 

928
00:43:19,500 --> 00:43:21,700
Aang and you're just kind of 
like the Yes, dear kind of 

929
00:43:21,700 --> 00:43:25,100
caricature and oh, how am I 
supposed to change that? 

930
00:43:25,100 --> 00:43:26,200
What am I supposed to do, 
brother? 

931
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,500
You just step up and you start 
leading. 

932
00:43:27,500 --> 00:43:29,500
She's not gonna like that. 
I didn't say anything about her 

933
00:43:29,500 --> 00:43:31,300
liking it. 
I said, brother, you step up and

934
00:43:31,300 --> 00:43:33,500
you start leading well, she's 
gonna give some pushback 

935
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:34,500
brother. 
I didn't say she wouldn't get 

936
00:43:34,500 --> 00:43:36,400
pushback but then what's going 
to happen? 

937
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:38,700
Well, she'll get real mad. 
Okay, and then what? 

938
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,300
Well she won't talk to me for 
three days. 

939
00:43:41,300 --> 00:43:46,000
Okay, well and then what her 
head will spin around. 

940
00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:49,300
Okay, and then what is she going
to stab you with a knife? 

941
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,100
Maybe, okay, well, then, I don't
want you to end up on 60 

942
00:43:52,100 --> 00:43:54,700
Minutes. 
So there's a, there's a wise way

943
00:43:54,700 --> 00:43:59,200
to go about this, but we can't 
let cowardice keep us and stuck 

944
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:00,600
anymore. 
We can't. 

945
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,000
We can't. 
So, I don't know how to do it. 

946
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:03,600
Ok, brother, we can figure that 
out. 

947
00:44:03,700 --> 00:44:05,200
Well, she's not gonna like it. 
Okay, brother. 

948
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,800
Well, welcome to leadership. 
There's no substitute for 

949
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,800
courage. 
There's no substitute for 

950
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:12,600
courage. 
Why I try to do it and she tells

951
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:13,900
me it's wrong. 
Well, you're not following her 

952
00:44:13,900 --> 00:44:16,600
though, brother. 
So I understand how that can be 

953
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:20,500
a bit discouraging, and if I was
talking to her, Which in our 

954
00:44:20,500 --> 00:44:22,500
case I will be. 
Then I would say encourage your 

955
00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:24,600
husband and support him. 
Well, I don't know, if it's 

956
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,900
right, welcome to submission, my
sister, follow him, pray for 

957
00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,200
him. 
Bring your counsel, bring your 

958
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,700
wisdom, and don't hear things. 
I'm not saying, don't run to 

959
00:44:31,700 --> 00:44:34,600
some extreme, will bring all the
balance to all this. 

960
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:38,100
By the way, a captain wants the 
input of his first officer. 

961
00:44:38,700 --> 00:44:41,600
What kind of Captain wants an 
idiot as a first officer, only 

962
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:43,200
an idiot. 
Captain wants an idiot first 

963
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:46,600
officer, so of course, I want 
her her wisdom. 

964
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:48,800
I want her input. 
I need those things. 

965
00:44:49,700 --> 00:44:52,600
And yet, ultimately, who's 
responsible, if the ship runs 

966
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:56,700
aground, not the person who I 
handed the wheel to would never 

967
00:44:56,700 --> 00:44:59,000
lie, was in Natalie's been 
ruining everything for years and

968
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:00,900
now we've run aground. 
No, no, that's not how it works.

969
00:45:00,900 --> 00:45:03,700
Captain, when the Navy has a 
ship that runs aground, which a 

970
00:45:03,708 --> 00:45:06,100
few years back, they have like 
three shifts in like, two years 

971
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:09,000
run, aground or collide with 
other ships, which in case you 

972
00:45:09,008 --> 00:45:11,800
don't know. 
That's ridiculously bad, it's 

973
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,500
embarrassingly stupid, for that.
Kind of thing to happen. 

974
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,200
Guess who got fired and all 
those scenarios. 

975
00:45:17,900 --> 00:45:19,200
It wasn't the person who was in 
The Wheel. 

976
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,100
House at the moment. 
And one of the cases, the 

977
00:45:21,108 --> 00:45:23,800
captain wasn't even on the ship 
but guess who got fired. 

978
00:45:25,100 --> 00:45:28,600
You only get one guess it was 
the captain. 

979
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:31,100
Why? 
Because he's responsible, but 

980
00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:33,800
no, but I told Bobby to do it, 
okay? 

981
00:45:33,900 --> 00:45:36,400
You're allowed to delegate 
Authority appropriately but you 

982
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:38,700
can't give up your 
responsibilities entirely. 

983
00:45:39,100 --> 00:45:41,000
You have ownership of the 
outcomes? 

984
00:45:44,700 --> 00:45:49,800
So a wife, unfortunately, when I
when I vacate that role my wife 

985
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:52,200
feels like she has to step in 
and be that because of her own 

986
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:54,000
fears because of her own 
insecurities. 

987
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:56,200
So now she starts stepping up 
going, I've got to be the 

988
00:45:56,208 --> 00:45:57,900
husband because there's not a 
man in this house. 

989
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:03,000
We live that we live that, that 
hurts, it's embarrassing, and 

990
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:05,800
yet it's good for the flesh, for
me, to continue to continually 

991
00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:08,700
tell you and remind myself. 
But that's where we were. 

992
00:46:08,700 --> 00:46:11,400
So Natalie, she's saying I'm 
gonna do it except you're not 

993
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,900
built for it. 
You talking down to women? 

994
00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:20,700
No, no, I love women and I love 
men and I love for them to be 

995
00:46:20,700 --> 00:46:22,200
exactly what God made them to 
be. 

996
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,100
And it's a beautiful thing when 
they both get to walk in that 

997
00:46:25,300 --> 00:46:29,300
and its wholeness, but it 
requires me as a man to lead. 

998
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:33,100
So a wife feels anxious, she 
feels uncovered, she feels like 

999
00:46:33,100 --> 00:46:37,000
she doesn't have a head and then
this brings us to most modern 

1000
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,600
marriage issues where Adam is 
pointing to Eve and saying I 

1001
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,900
mean she did it, huh? 
Yeah but when the Lord comes 

1002
00:46:42,900 --> 00:46:46,600
walking to the Garden, he comes 
asking for Adam, he comes into 

1003
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:48,700
the garden asking. 
And looking for the man where 

1004
00:46:48,700 --> 00:46:52,300
are you? 
Not who ate it. 

1005
00:46:52,300 --> 00:46:54,700
First, you tell me who hated 
her. 

1006
00:46:54,800 --> 00:46:56,800
She ate it. 
First, I'll leave y'all to 

1007
00:46:56,800 --> 00:46:59,800
alone. 
No, Adam, where are you? 

1008
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,700
I'm here, I was naked. 
I was ashamed. 

1009
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:04,400
I hid. 
What happened here. 

1010
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,700
There's consequences Eve's 
responsible for her actions But 

1011
00:47:07,700 --> 00:47:10,000
ultimately Adam bears that 
responsibility. 

1012
00:47:10,100 --> 00:47:12,800
This isn't the same message that
some that some pastors teach 

1013
00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:15,900
that everything's a man, 
everything that happens is a 

1014
00:47:15,908 --> 00:47:17,700
man's fault. 
That's not what I've said. 

1015
00:47:17,700 --> 00:47:19,500
That's not what I believe is not
what the Bible teaches. 

1016
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:23,200
But a man says, I'm taking 
ultimate responsibility for the 

1017
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,200
outcomes. 
Doesn't mean everything 

1018
00:47:25,200 --> 00:47:26,800
happened. 
Everything every single thing 

1019
00:47:26,800 --> 00:47:28,000
that's happened is your fault, 
brother. 

1020
00:47:28,300 --> 00:47:31,500
That's not true, but it means 
that you're responsible for the 

1021
00:47:31,500 --> 00:47:33,100
outcomes. 
Well, she did this, and she did 

1022
00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:34,200
us all right, fair enough, 
brother. 

1023
00:47:34,300 --> 00:47:37,800
So now, what, why don't know? 
Okay, we gotta, we gotta take 

1024
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:39,300
our next step. 
We got to find a way to bring 

1025
00:47:39,300 --> 00:47:42,300
action to this thing. 
We can't be passive, Adam, and 

1026
00:47:42,300 --> 00:47:45,400
we don't want to be aggressive. 
What do we want to be like 

1027
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:47,300
Jesus? 
The right thing at the right 

1028
00:47:47,300 --> 00:47:49,600
time? 
The perfect wisdom of God, the 

1029
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,800
perfect man himself. 
But like I said the problem 

1030
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,000
comes from not believing the 
Bible. 

1031
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,300
Most husbands don't believe 
their the head of their wife so 

1032
00:47:57,300 --> 00:48:00,100
they don't act like it. 
They want the 50/50 because it 

1033
00:48:00,100 --> 00:48:01,700
means I don't really have to 
bear the weight. 

1034
00:48:02,700 --> 00:48:06,300
Or then we make them excuse the 
excuse of, we say I tried to I 

1035
00:48:06,308 --> 00:48:09,200
tried to lead. 
It doesn't work because they 

1036
00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:10,800
tried it. 
They tried it once and their 

1037
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:12,900
wife didn't leap for Joy but 
here's the truth. 

1038
00:48:12,900 --> 00:48:15,800
You don't try the word of God. 
You obey the word of God. 

1039
00:48:16,300 --> 00:48:18,300
There's a difference. 
We're not this isn't an 

1040
00:48:18,300 --> 00:48:21,600
experiment. 
You obey the word of God and 

1041
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,500
then no one can stop you from 
leading and the she didn't 

1042
00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:27,200
respond very well approach. 
Just reveals that I was still 

1043
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,300
following her. 
Anyway, I tried it. 

1044
00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:31,600
It didn't work. 
No no there's no it trying 

1045
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,400
anything. 
It's obedience to the word of 

1046
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,500
God and I'm praying for her if 
she's having a hard time with 

1047
00:48:36,500 --> 00:48:39,100
this thing and I'm going to move
forward with her with gentleness

1048
00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:42,300
and wisdom to nurture her to 
cherish her, and to help her 

1049
00:48:42,300 --> 00:48:45,200
alone, maybe she needs her mind,
renewed with the word of God 

1050
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:46,600
will. 
Remember who's supposed to wash 

1051
00:48:46,600 --> 00:48:48,200
their wives with the water of 
the word? 

1052
00:48:48,500 --> 00:48:51,800
Oh, back here. 
Again, interesting how this 

1053
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:54,700
keeps happening is as you're 
saying, it's my fault. 

1054
00:48:54,700 --> 00:48:57,000
Who is but it's your 
responsibility, it's not my 

1055
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:58,500
fault. 
If my child got bad grades 

1056
00:48:58,500 --> 00:49:00,600
necessarily but it's my 
responsibility to go. 

1057
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:01,800
What are you gonna do about it? 
John Michael? 

1058
00:49:01,900 --> 00:49:04,400
Well, I told him to study more. 
Well, did it happen? 

1059
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:05,500
Did it work? 
Well, no. 

1060
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:06,300
All right. 
Joe Michael. 

1061
00:49:06,300 --> 00:49:07,600
So what are you gonna do about 
it? 

1062
00:49:08,300 --> 00:49:10,200
I'm going to get more involved 
with them with school. 

1063
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:13,400
Okay, now you're thinking now, 
welcome to leadership it costs 

1064
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,800
you something, but you've got to
get involved. 

1065
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,800
It's not your fault that he 
didn't obey, and yet, obviously 

1066
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:20,900
more is needed, if you Eat the 
good fruit. 

1067
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,200
What else does this mean? 
The role of leader for a 

1068
00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:28,400
husband? 
We gotta hurry up. 

1069
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:31,100
Y'all going to slow, you are 
listening. 

1070
00:49:31,100 --> 00:49:33,100
Slow this morning. 
A husband should be the 

1071
00:49:33,100 --> 00:49:36,300
spokesman for his family. 
Is one way we could put it, not 

1072
00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:38,600
because he's necessarily better 
with words or because he has a 

1073
00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:41,400
charismatic personality. 
But a husband is the 

1074
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,300
representative is the point I 
want to make of his family to 

1075
00:49:44,300 --> 00:49:46,300
the world. 
Husband is the one he says, 

1076
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,700
again, here's who we are. 
Here's what we're about. 

1077
00:49:48,700 --> 00:49:52,800
Here's where we're going. 
We see this in Joshua 24:15 

1078
00:49:53,100 --> 00:49:55,200
Joshua stands up before the 
people of Israel. 

1079
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:59,700
He says, as for me and my house,
we will serve the Lord at this 

1080
00:49:59,700 --> 00:50:01,700
point. 
Joshua is over 100 years old. 

1081
00:50:01,700 --> 00:50:04,500
It's very likely. 
Even by conservative estimates 

1082
00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:08,100
that he's got 1000 people, 1000 
descendants of his alive. 

1083
00:50:08,100 --> 00:50:10,800
At that moment. 
He is the patriarch of a lot of 

1084
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:15,700
people, his kids, his grandkids,
his great grand kids, it's very 

1085
00:50:15,700 --> 00:50:18,100
likely. 
So he's speaking for massive 

1086
00:50:18,100 --> 00:50:21,000
household. 
He's saying, as for us, We will 

1087
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,000
serve the Lord but it's 
important to understand what's 

1088
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,400
happening here. 
He's taking responsibility for 

1089
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:31,000
what he's done and how he's LED 
and for what they're going to do

1090
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,500
in the future because he 
probably don't have a lot of 

1091
00:50:32,508 --> 00:50:36,200
time left and he realizes that. 
So at this point, this is a 

1092
00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:38,900
responsibility of a, the 
statement coming from the head 

1093
00:50:38,900 --> 00:50:41,500
of a household. 
This is not an arrogant, you do 

1094
00:50:41,500 --> 00:50:44,200
it my way, no matter what, 
that's not what's happening 

1095
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:45,700
there. 
It's how I used to read that as 

1096
00:50:45,700 --> 00:50:48,100
for me and my house, we will 
serve the Lord over there was 

1097
00:50:48,100 --> 00:50:51,300
gonna be problems up in here now
instead It's a man Sam. 

1098
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,200
I've Loved, I've LED I'm going 
to continue to love and Lead. 

1099
00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,900
We do serve the Lord, the Clark 
served the Lord, as for me and 

1100
00:50:57,900 --> 00:51:01,000
Natalie, and he's boys and my 
grandchildren, like, Jesus is 

1101
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:03,000
King the end. 
Why? 

1102
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:04,700
Because I've taken 
responsibility for the 

1103
00:51:04,700 --> 00:51:07,900
discipline for the discipleship 
and for their growth so that 

1104
00:51:07,900 --> 00:51:10,200
they can actually enjoy God's 
best. 

1105
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:14,600
But whenever we're thinking 
about being the representative 

1106
00:51:14,600 --> 00:51:17,500
before anybody gets too excited 
for husbands, get too excited 

1107
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,700
over four wives think that 
they've been slighted, 

1108
00:51:19,700 --> 00:51:23,000
understand that the role of head
again, is the roll. 

1109
00:51:23,100 --> 00:51:26,200
How do we sum it up its 
responsibility again, its 

1110
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:30,200
weight, its weight. 
So anyone who says why does so 

1111
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:33,700
and so get to be in charge, they
reveal that they have no idea 

1112
00:51:33,700 --> 00:51:37,600
what being in charge is all 
about anyone who's like, why did

1113
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:42,300
they get to get to clearly 
you're clearly we should Trust 

1114
00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:44,500
you with leadership and and 
clearly you don't know what 

1115
00:51:44,500 --> 00:51:46,500
leadership is yet that can 
change. 

1116
00:51:47,700 --> 00:51:49,600
But there are three legs to 
leadership, like I said, 

1117
00:51:49,600 --> 00:51:52,500
earlier, compassion 
responsibility and Authority. 

1118
00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:54,400
How do I Define those 
compassion? 

1119
00:51:54,500 --> 00:51:58,400
You love your family, a lot and 
they know it. 

1120
00:51:59,700 --> 00:52:02,700
That other parts important 
responsibility, you take 

1121
00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:06,400
ownership of all the outcomes 
and then the third leg, the one 

1122
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:08,200
that everybody's afraid of. 
But we're going to Define it 

1123
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:13,300
with Clarity Authority, you have
the power kind of power. 

1124
00:52:13,300 --> 00:52:15,200
You have the power to do what's 
best for your family. 

1125
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,500
You have the power to do what 
pleases the Lord and when all 

1126
00:52:18,500 --> 00:52:20,600
these things are working 
together, everything is as it 

1127
00:52:20,600 --> 00:52:23,700
should be. 
And then finally, a husband is a

1128
00:52:23,700 --> 00:52:32,600
leader spiritually, the best. 
And most important thing you can

1129
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:35,600
do to lead. 
Spiritually is to love the Lord,

1130
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:37,600
your God with all your heart, 
soul, mind and strength. 

1131
00:52:39,100 --> 00:52:41,500
That's that's the simple answer.
Guys always want tactics. 

1132
00:52:41,500 --> 00:52:45,200
I like tactics. 
I like practical but Step One is

1133
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:46,400
brother. 
Love the Lord. 

1134
00:52:46,700 --> 00:52:49,200
You loving the Lord is going to 
look like you loving the Lord, 

1135
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,600
but it's going to look like 
loving the Lord. 

1136
00:52:51,900 --> 00:52:54,500
It's not gonna look like, I love
the Lord my own way and nobody 

1137
00:52:54,500 --> 00:52:56,500
else knows about it. 
No, that doesn't look like 

1138
00:52:56,500 --> 00:52:59,000
anything. 
Then you your love for God, 

1139
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,800
should have some fruit. 
There should be evidence. 

1140
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,100
If you love the Lord, your God 
with all your heart, soul, mind 

1141
00:53:04,100 --> 00:53:06,000
and strength, and you were taken
into court under that 

1142
00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,100
accusation. 
There should be some evidence to

1143
00:53:08,100 --> 00:53:10,900
be able to prosecute. 
You say, we can prove that he 

1144
00:53:10,900 --> 00:53:15,200
loved God how because look at 
this, look at what we can stack 

1145
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,700
up against him or in that case, 
we could say for him. 

1146
00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:21,000
Love the Lord, your God, with 
all your heart, soul, mind and 

1147
00:53:21,000 --> 00:53:22,500
strength. 
What does that look like? 

1148
00:53:22,500 --> 00:53:24,800
What you're talking about? 
God, you're pursuing God. 

1149
00:53:25,900 --> 00:53:27,600
You're sharing the word of God 
with your family. 

1150
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:28,900
Why? 
Because you're full of the word 

1151
00:53:28,900 --> 00:53:31,200
of God already. 
I was reading this in the word 

1152
00:53:31,200 --> 00:53:34,100
this morning. 
Hey, I'm you know, hey what, you

1153
00:53:34,100 --> 00:53:36,900
know, today at lunch or not, 
maybe not today at lunch, but 

1154
00:53:37,100 --> 00:53:39,000
you're talking with your wife in
the car. 

1155
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,000
Hey, would you get out of the 
word? 

1156
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:43,400
Where do you see? 
Where do you see that? 

1157
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,400
You can apply anything from 
today's sermon. 

1158
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,800
Here's what I can see. 
I can apply talking about the 

1159
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:51,300
scriptures talking about them, 
your Bible study. 

1160
00:53:52,200 --> 00:53:55,600
Sharing with your wife, how 
you're praying for her, what 

1161
00:53:55,600 --> 00:53:56,800
kind of growth will kind of 
fruit. 

1162
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:01,000
You want to see next All those 
details, all the practicals work

1163
00:54:01,000 --> 00:54:02,900
out when you really love and 
lead your family into the 

1164
00:54:02,900 --> 00:54:04,900
presence of God. 
If you go into the presence of 

1165
00:54:04,900 --> 00:54:09,000
God, all the principles of God 
gets sorted out, Moses meets God

1166
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,100
at the burning bush. 
God did not start Moses with the

1167
00:54:11,100 --> 00:54:14,000
law. 
He got into God's presence and 

1168
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:15,900
then the law follows the details
matter. 

1169
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:18,900
But even then we want to be like
Moses who has a heart that says 

1170
00:54:18,900 --> 00:54:22,300
God Show Me Your Glory, and I 
won't go without your presence, 

1171
00:54:23,100 --> 00:54:25,000
wash, your wife, with the water 
of the word. 

1172
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,900
That means you're responsible to
God, to be the thermostat for 

1173
00:54:27,900 --> 00:54:30,900
your family. 
You're placed in the garden to 

1174
00:54:30,900 --> 00:54:34,200
take ownership of the outcomes 
for spiritual growth for Hunger 

1175
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,300
for faithfulness. 
And then ultimately to think 

1176
00:54:37,300 --> 00:54:40,100
like, you'll present your wife 
to the Lord in a sense, not 

1177
00:54:40,100 --> 00:54:44,100
literally, So every person will 
stand before the Lord Jesus, all

1178
00:54:44,100 --> 00:54:47,300
by themselves, you're not the 
priest to that your wife has to 

1179
00:54:47,300 --> 00:54:49,200
go through to get to God. 
That's not what I'm teaching. 

1180
00:54:49,600 --> 00:54:52,200
But what I am saying is if your 
wife has been given to you as a 

1181
00:54:52,208 --> 00:54:54,700
flower from God, what are you 
going to hand back to her? 

1182
00:54:55,100 --> 00:54:56,200
What are you going to hand back 
to him? 

1183
00:54:57,100 --> 00:54:59,600
Is he gonna get a tattered stem 
with no pedals and going, bro, 

1184
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:02,000
what happened here? 
Or is he going to get a 

1185
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,400
blossoming flower? 
This is what it looks like to 

1186
00:55:04,408 --> 00:55:07,400
love to nurture and to care, he 
says care for her like you care 

1187
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,700
for the needs of your own body. 
So if there's something that 

1188
00:55:09,700 --> 00:55:11,600
needs attention, I took care of 
a hangnail. 

1189
00:55:11,700 --> 00:55:13,400
Well, this morning on my own 
finger. 

1190
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:16,400
So I care about my own body in a
husband. 

1191
00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:19,600
Cares for his wife, the same way
nourishing and cherishing her, 

1192
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:31,700
she's his rib, his flesh, one 
body, one heart, I'ma notes, go 

1193
00:55:31,700 --> 00:55:37,200
here. 
Dwight Moody said it this way, 

1194
00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:40,400
if I wanted to find out whether 
a man was a Christian, I 

1195
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:44,900
wouldn't go to his Minister. 
I would go and ask his wife, we 

1196
00:55:44,900 --> 00:55:46,500
need more Christian Life at 
home. 

1197
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:48,700
If a man doesn't treat his wife,
right? 

1198
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,200
I don't want to hear him talk 
about Christianity. 

1199
00:55:52,900 --> 00:55:58,100
So, bit of slap bit of a slap in
the face, and at the same time, 

1200
00:55:58,100 --> 00:56:00,700
it's a good encouragement to us,
but others, you're well able to 

1201
00:56:00,700 --> 00:56:03,100
leave. 
You're well, able to Shepherd, 

1202
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:06,000
you're well, able to bless 
you're, well, able to love. 

1203
00:56:06,900 --> 00:56:08,100
I don't know what the details 
look like. 

1204
00:56:08,100 --> 00:56:09,900
That's fine. 
Welcome to the men's Round 

1205
00:56:09,900 --> 00:56:11,300
Table. 
We're gonna start walking 

1206
00:56:11,300 --> 00:56:14,300
through these details together, 
month by month to say, let's get

1207
00:56:14,300 --> 00:56:16,300
practical. 
Here's the next step. 

1208
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:19,700
And I want to help you move 
forward if you'll come with 

1209
00:56:19,700 --> 00:56:23,700
humility, if you'll continue to 
submit to the word of God, God 

1210
00:56:23,700 --> 00:56:25,200
will get you everywhere, you 
need to go. 

1211
00:56:26,700 --> 00:56:28,800
Take pride in all this because 
this is how you're showing your 

1212
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,100
wife and the world. 
How Christ is loving the church,

1213
00:56:31,300 --> 00:56:34,500
God's coming into the garden. 
He's asking you, where are you? 

1214
00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:37,400
So, that's what I'm asking. 
You where are you? 

1215
00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:40,400
Ask yourself. 
That's what I want you to do. 

1216
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,100
Is you leave this today? 
Where are you? 

1217
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,700
Where am I? 
I know you got objections. 

1218
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:50,200
I know you do. 
I get them all the time. 

1219
00:56:50,600 --> 00:56:53,000
It's what I do for a living. 
I challenge you to try to stump 

1220
00:56:53,000 --> 00:56:55,800
me. 
Please ask me hit me with it. 

1221
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:59,000
I've heard the objections I've 
heard the but my scenarios 

1222
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:02,900
different bro, lay it on me, 
will navigate it together but 

1223
00:57:02,900 --> 00:57:07,500
let's navigate it and not just 
drift at Sea and wait for 

1224
00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:10,800
something good to happen. 
Drifting at Sea, never leads to 

1225
00:57:10,800 --> 00:57:13,000
anything. 
Good, we must set the sail. 

1226
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:16,100
We must set the rudder and 
Captain the ship you're built 

1227
00:57:16,100 --> 00:57:18,100
for this. 
You're made for this, this is 

1228
00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:20,700
going to become Automatic. 
It's going to fill you with life

1229
00:57:20,700 --> 00:57:25,300
with pride and joy. 
Let's pray Heavenly Father, we 

1230
00:57:25,300 --> 00:57:27,600
thank you for the calling that 
you put on our lives as men and 

1231
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:29,500
his husband's. 
It's a blessing. 

1232
00:57:32,100 --> 00:57:33,400
Jesus. 
It's like the burden that you 

1233
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,500
talk about, your yoke is easy. 
And my burden is light. 

1234
00:57:36,500 --> 00:57:40,000
There is a burden though, and 
there is a yoke, but it fits us 

1235
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:44,300
well and it's not too heavy. 
Thank you for fitting this to us

1236
00:57:44,300 --> 00:57:46,500
appropriately so that we can 
actually Shepherd. 

1237
00:57:46,500 --> 00:57:49,200
Well, make us husbands who 
nourish and cherish our wives, 

1238
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,300
God help. 
Every single one of us to grow 

1239
00:57:51,800 --> 00:57:54,200
help me to grow. 
So that my wife would Thrive. 

1240
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:57,900
So that I would show my wife, my
children and the world. 

1241
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,700
What Christ's love for the 
church looks like, And God, I 

1242
00:58:01,700 --> 00:58:04,000
pray that you would make these 
marriages, all the marriages of 

1243
00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:06,000
salt Church, rich with good 
fruit. 

1244
00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:10,100
As men are being men as women 
are being women as children are,

1245
00:58:10,100 --> 00:58:14,100
experiencing the joy, and 
blessing of it all, glorify your

1246
00:58:14,100 --> 00:58:16,200
name and work through us. 
Do something in us. 

1247
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,600
God, Show us what our next step 
looks like. 

1248
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,400
To love you. 
Well to serve you Faithfully. 

1249
00:58:24,800 --> 00:58:28,400
And to love our wives as you 
love us all, we thank you for it

1250
00:58:28,400 --> 00:58:32,300
in Jesus name. 
And now the Lord bless you and 

1251
00:58:32,300 --> 00:58:35,400
keep you the Lord, make his face
shine down upon you and be 

1252
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:37,900
gracious to you. 
The Lord lift up his countenance

1253
00:58:37,900 --> 00:58:40,900
upon you and give you great. 
Peace in Jesus name. 

1254
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:42,000
Amen.