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Ephesians chapter 5, we're 
continuing our series 

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ecstatically Married next week. 
We'll take a break from our 

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series. 
Will have our birthday 

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celebration. 
I'll have a special Sermon, Just

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for that, but as we're 
continuing through our series, 

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remember we've gone, we've gone 
very specific, we started. 

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What is a man? 
What is a woman? 

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What is marriage? 
What is headship, what is today,

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submission? 
And we continue to be detailed 

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and looking at these things. 
Things. 

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We said that it's the will of 
God, that Christians shouldn't 

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just be happily married. 
We should be ecstatically. 

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Married. 
Marriage was God's idea. 

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Christian should have the best 
marriages. 

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A good Christian marriage 
shouldn't look like. 

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Yeah it's kind of like a good 
worldly marriage and mean folks 

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are just doing their best to 
make the most of it but we've 

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all tasted and seen that. 
Some you're going, maybe we're 

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not there right now. 
Hey, I know that I live in the 

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real world just like you do but 
we're still pursuing God's 

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ideals and God's best. 
How will we ever arrived? 

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If we don't deliberately pursue 
them in a specific way? 

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Unfortunately, the spirit of the
age has been King very 

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deliberately against marriage, 
very deliberately against men, 

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and very deliberately against 
women. 

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So one of our values, as a 
church is we fight where the 

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fight is. 
That means I'm not just going to

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preach on things that make us 
all comfortable all the time. 

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We're going to preach the full 
Council of the word of God and 

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specifically. 
We're going to be honest about 

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the lies that are most 
oppressive to us. 

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So, the things that I know about
in our culture, if we lived in a

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different time period, we 
wouldn't we probably wouldn't 

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have done this sermon series. 
200 years ago in this church, I 

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wouldn't have preached this. 
Series at all. 

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It would have been like Pastor 
obvious. 

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Thanks a lot. 
We already knew that we're 

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already living according to 
these things, but since we've 

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lost a lot of it and since our 
minds are not renewed concerning

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these things, since we got a lot
of lies and unrenewed Minds. 

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We want to pursue these things, 
very specifically and very 

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deliberately. 
So, as we talk about submission,

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today, I want to remind all the 
ladies. 

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If it feels like this is all 
about you, it's because it is 

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just like, last week when we 
talked about headship, it felt 

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like, dude, you're coming at me.
Pastor I was bro, you knew that 

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and we all want to grow in the 
things God has called us to. 

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This is a loving thing. 
This is a good thing. 

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Last week I told them in. 
You only got good news this 

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week, ladies, you're only going 
to get good news. 

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Well, is it going to feel like 
crucifixion to the flesh? 

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Well, yes it is. 
Welcome to Christianity and at 

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the same time, it's only good 
news. 

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So I'm getting ready to preach 
the strongest and most clear 

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sermon that I've ever heard 
preached on the subject. 

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And that's not saying much to be
honest with you, but that's not 

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putting you on blast. 
Nobody has to be nervous or 

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waiting back. 
What you're about to hear though

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is I am going to get into some 
specific examples. 

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I'm gonna give some really 
granular things and be like, oh,

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we're going to talk about the 
socks beside the hamper. 

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We're going to talk about, like 
I want this room painted a 

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different color. 
Do you have a scripture for 

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that? 
No. 

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And I'm going to keep making 
that point to you. 

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That what we're doing is we're 
looking at the scripture says, 

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in all of the passages that 
emphasize submission and 

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respect. 
And we're going to go obviously 

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that's got to look like 
something obviously that needs 

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to be in fleshed obviously that 
needs to be embodied. 

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So I'm going to get really 
practical because I've never 

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heard that done sermons. 
I've heard preached on 

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submission, whenever I was even 
looking in preparing for this 

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message it was submit to your 
husband. 

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And it was even even sometimes I
could hear its be said with 

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boldness, but I'm going brother.
Teach them how what go farther 

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Pat like help? 
Because they don't know. 

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So now they're still going to go
home and she's gonna go, I am 

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submitting and he's gonna know 
you're not. 

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No, yes I am. 
It's we didn't actually bring 

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Clarity to the spirit of the 
thing. 

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Submission is a heart issue. 
Are there some practical ways to

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flush it out or some ways better
than others? 

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Absolutely. 
And yet it's very much a heart 

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issue. 
So the person, the man, or a 

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woman, the woman to her husband,
or the husband to Christ or to a

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boss, or to another man, or to 
some supervisory role. 

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So, mission is always a heart 
issue. 

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What do you want me to do? 
Well, that's just revealed that 

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the spirit of this thing is 
wrong with homes. 

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Sorry, I didn't do it all. 
Perfect boss, man, will they 

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attitude is the issue here. 
You know, we see this in our 

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children, right? 
We all we all can recognize that

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they're. 
So in the same way wives, you're

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getting good news today, you're 
being loved well, but we're not 

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even though we're going to get 
specific on some details. 

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Oh no. 
I don't have locks are going. 

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Thank you, even though we're 
going to get specific in some 

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details. 
The main thing. 

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They pull up boxer here for us, 
so we have it for anybody who's 

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not with us. 
There we go. 

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The main thing is the heart 
thing that, of course, is our 

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priority in everything. 
So here we are in Ephesians 

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chapter 5. 
What I'm not going to do today 

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is, I'm not going to, I'm not 
going to answer a lot of 

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objections. 
I've done a lot of that through 

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the series, so go back and 
listen. 

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I've answered. 
Hey, what about verse 21? 

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He just skip past verse 21. 
I do the full unpacking of 

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explaining context for you. 
Genesis. 3:16 in another thing. 

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Is remember we've got the text 
line so I told y'all we've got 

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the anonymous text line. 
I know this sermon series is 

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probably brought up a lot of 
questions. 

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I told you hit me with them. 
I want your questions, I want 

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your objections and when we're 
all done with this series 

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Natalie and I were going to do a
Q&A together, where we talked 

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through, where I answer 
questions, very directly all the

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sticky stuff, all the things you
like, wait, you said this? 

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Wait what about this? 
Here is a difficult scenario. 

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We're not dodging or side step 
in anything, the Lord has 

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Clarity and wisdom for all in 
all of his ways are perfect. 

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So we can walk right into With 
Clarity, with love with 

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gentleness, with boldness. 
So that we enjoy God's best 

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Ephesians 5:22 through 24 wives 
submit to your own. 

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Husband's, as to the Lord, for 
the husband is the head of his 

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wife is the head of the wife, 
even as Christ is the head of 

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the church, his body and his 
himself. 

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It's savior. 
Now as the Christ as the church 

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submits to Christ, so also wives
should submit in everything to 

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their husbands. 
What submission is this word 

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submission here being used in 
this context? 

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It was a military term and it 
meant to place yourself under 

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Authority. 
You're arranging yourself. 

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Voluntarily arranging yourself 
under Authority. 

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So this is not a force thing. 
Is the importance of teaching 

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Christian wives submission 
because this cannot be enforced.

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Ultimately, a wife is choosing 
this thing in the same way that 

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the Lord Jesus Christ. 
Chose to submit himself to the 

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father Father it was not forced 
upon him but he joyfully and 

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humbly put himself arranged 
himself under the authority of 

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the father. 
This is what submission means. 

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Submission is not a four letter 
word submission means willingly,

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not stubbornly. 
Placing yourself under 

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Authority. 
Now I will do a quick 

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disclaimer. 
I'm not going to do a sermon 

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full of them but I will do a 
quick one. 

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Submission is a bout order. 
It is not about value, husbands 

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and wives. 
And I've said this multiple 

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times through the series, I'm 
saying it again. 

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This has nothing to do with 
value and worth husband and wife

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have equal value and worth 
period. 

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The end we can say it a million 
times, a husband and wife have 

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equal value. 
One is not more important, one 

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is not worth more. 
That's that's that's the case in

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all human interactions, but we 
still understand how to honor 

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that police officer when he 
pulls us over, don't we we find 

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ourselves being very respectful 
suddenly do you think he's worth

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more as a human being before God
that thought has never crossed 

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your mind and yet you very much 
honor his office in his 

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position? 
And his in the authority that 

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the Lord has given to him. 
So submission is about order, 

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it's not about value. 
A husband and wife are equal in 

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value equal in worth. 
No one has ever made this 

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argument about children to 
parents. 

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They've never made the argument,
you think your children are 

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worthless, nobody says that and 
yet, when it comes to the 

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conversation of husbands and 
wives, this can be a knee-jerk 

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reaction to go. 
What are you trying to say about

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women? 
What are you trying to say about

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children? 
Like our children worth? 

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Less know, we lay, we would lay 
down our lives. 

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For our children. 
So, what does that say about 

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them? 
Well, in the same way, a husband

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will lay down his life for his 
wife. 

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So what does that say about her 
value in her worth? 

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If one human needs to die? 
It's this one, it's the head. 

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So is he worth more? 
Well, it's the rolls. 

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It's the right thing at the 
right time as we said a man as a

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protector provider and a leader.
So he joyfully says I'm dying. 

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This is my this is my duty and I
do it. 

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Joyfully not. 
Oh man would have my worthless 

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know it's the right thing at the
right time. 

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It's God's perfect. 
Design. 

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So, just like children and 
parents are equal in value and 

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worth. 
Just like the Father, the Son 

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and the Holy Spirit are equal in
value and worth. 

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And still, there is headship and
submission in the Trinity Christ

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submits to the father but he is 
not less than the father in 

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value. 
But he takes his place in the 

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order of the Trinity and chooses
to obey the will of the father, 

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only a people Twisted by sin 
believe that Authority cannot be

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loving. 
I didn't come up with that one, 

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it's from non tenant. 
Only at people Twisted by sin 

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believe and make this argument 
that Authority cannot be loving 

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but we even defined Authority 
for men. 

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When we talked about leadership,
remember we said, Authority is 

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the power, the power to what the
power to do? 

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What is best the power to do? 
What you believe is the right 

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thing? 
According to the will of God. 

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So our Authority as husbands are
headship as husbands, remember 

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is not a tool to stroke our own 
ego. 

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It is a tool with which we 
fulfill the will of God in our 

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households in our lives. 
So submission is a gift. 

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To a wife as a wife, surrenders 
and submits, she is unburdened 

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and she is freed to fulfill her 
purpose to help her husband to 

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bring life to beautify. 
And to glorify. 

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This is to bring utter relief to
wives rather than a wife who is 

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grasping for power. 
Rather than a wife who is 

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looking for control, she gets to
come to the place of rest, why a

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wife who has lived in a place of
control and grasping, this is an

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exhausting thing. 
This is a burden, something that

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many wives live in chronically. 
Don't recognize it. 

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Anybody who's ever had a chronic
health issue and you make the 

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change, you get the right thing.
You know, it was that I didn't 

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even know, I was sick. 
I've talked to loved ones, like,

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Man, I had this thing done, I 
didn't even know. 

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I felt sick. 
It was the only thing I ever 

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knew had a loved one who had 
blockages in his neck and it had

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been decades. 
He had been living with that 

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way. 
He got the surgery because I 

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didn't know I was supposed to 
feel this. 

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Good. 
I'm convinced that many women 

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have no idea how good and 
beautiful. 

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It feels to feel feminine and 
surrender to their Husbands in a

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Godly christ-like way, they 
don't even know, like they don't

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know that they've got this 
low-grade fever until they 

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suddenly feel better. 
And go, what a relief, what a 

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joy, what a blessing to actually
have a covering to have a head? 

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Who my husband is the greenhouse
who who takes the brunt of the 

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pressures of life and I can help
him in actually be his his 

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submitted helper in the mission 
of God together as we glorify 

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the Lord together. 
So a husband is unburdened when 

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she submits and she is free to 
fulfill. 

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All her purpose to help her 
husband to bring life to 

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beautify. 
And, to glorify, which we said, 

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again, are the purposes of 
woman, man, has purpose woman 

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has purpose. 
A woman is a life-giver. 

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She's a beautifier, she's a 
glorify. 

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ER, but a wife does have a 
temptation to control things. 

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This comes from the fall. 
So when the Lord is, is giving 

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punishments to Adam and Eve, one
of them that she get, he gives 

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to Eve as he says, your desire 
will be for your husband. 

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We're not going to I'm not going
to teach it out right now, but 

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we We do know there's a full 
context of scripture that that 

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desire. 
It's used a few chapters later 

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by Moses in Genesis when he's 
talking about Cain and Abel and 

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the Lord tells cane sin has its 
desire for you. 

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So this is not a wholesome 
designer, it's not, I love my 

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husband. 
It's sin was Desiring to destroy

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Kane. 
And the Lord said, but you must 

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rule over it. 
It's the same thing that he was 

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saying to Eve, hey, you will 
have a sinful desire for control

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over your husband, but he will 
in the good way lead and rule 

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over you. 
Apart from his own sinful 

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temptations, that he also has to
crucify now because of the fall,

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but a wife's temper, a wives 
temptation to control brings 

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only temporary satisfaction. 
Like with all since she's left 

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feeling empty and in worse shape
than before, it's only in 

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submission, where her pressures 
relieved, so submission and 

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vulnerability. 
I'm still defining submission 

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for you submission and 
vulnerability, go hand-in-hand, 

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a submitted person is a 
vulnerable person, and a 

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surrendered person. 
I've told you this before, 

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whenever we look at the Old 
Testament you see people come 

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into the presence of the king. 
Oh, King live forever. 

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What is that? 
That's language of submission, 

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that's language of honor and 
they say if it pleases the king,

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not hey, we oughta, that's not 
the tone. 

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Why? 
Well, because that language 

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isn't submitted at all. 
If it pleases the king, I 

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considered something and I 
wanted to submit it to you. 

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I'm not a Mindless robot, who 
never speaks until spoken to. 

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I have thoughts, I have ideas. 
I'm here to serve in a Publish 

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the mission of the king. 
If it pleases the king, let a 

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law be written to do this. 
If it pleases the king, let us 

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do that. 
If it pleases the king, but it's

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a total difference. 
Why? 

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Well, because it's actual 
submission, I've actually 

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yielded up the outcome to him. 
I have given up the outcome. 

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I haven't accomplished the 
outcome. 

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Hey, you know what we ought to 
do king, we ought to do this. 

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What do you think? 
What have I done? 

283
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I've tried to steer towards the 
outcome. 

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00:13:19,100 --> 00:13:20,200
Why? 
Because I don't want the 

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vulnerability. 
Why? 

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00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:24,200
Cuz I've decided that much that 
I want the outcome, I'm already 

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00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,600
trying to steer him towards it. 
It's my clever. 

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00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,500
Hey, hey, this would be a good 
idea. 

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00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:32,500
Don't you agree, rather than If 
it pleases the king. 

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00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:34,000
So what is this? 
Or why are we getting so 

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00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,900
specific on the language? 
Will remember, I told you I'll 

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00:13:35,900 --> 00:13:39,400
be specific but the heart is a 
submitted vulnerability. 

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00:13:39,700 --> 00:13:41,800
The heart is I've yielded the 
outcome. 

294
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,100
I am surrendered to the 
possibilities of what comes next

295
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:46,700
and that doesn't feel super 
awesome. 

296
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:49,000
Well it feels like submission. 
That's what true submission 

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00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,500
actually is rather than how can 
I steer this person against 

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00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,800
their will. 
So this is showing the maximum 

299
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,900
amount of respect and the 
maximum amount of Honor 

300
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:03,800
possible, turn in your Bible to 
1st Peter chapter 3. 

301
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,700
We're not going to go to all the
passages because there's three, 

302
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,900
there's at least three others. 
I can think of where explicit 

303
00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:16,800
versus are given two wives to 
submit, why, why should this be 

304
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,900
a priority for wives because it 
is an explicit command in the 

305
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,200
New Testament. 
This isn't something that a wife

306
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,000
should, like, revisit every 
decade me. 

307
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,300
Like, oh, yeah, that's a thing. 
This is like New Testament. 

308
00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,900
Like it's got its glowing 
red-hot. 

309
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:32,000
It's this is a bull's eye 
target. 

310
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,600
Just like it for husbands. 
What's the Bull's Eye Target? 

311
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,800
As a husband, I think out of 
this, I think it's not a million

312
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,600
things that you got to think 
about brother. 

313
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:43,700
It's love your wife, love your 
wife, that's it. 

314
00:14:43,700 --> 00:14:46,100
That's the white-hot center that
we're to focus on. 

315
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,800
Oh, why? 
If you don't have to wonder 

316
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,800
what's a wife really supposed to
do? 

317
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:53,400
You know who could really know? 
It's pretty explicit. 

318
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,100
Submit submit submit respect 
submit, huh? 

319
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,800
I wonder what he means by that, 
huh. 

320
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:04,000
Who could guess? 
First Peter, 3 1 through 6 

321
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,200
likewise. 
So that likewise isn't 

322
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,300
connection to something 
previously said, right? 

323
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,600
So what was the thing that was 
previously said? 

324
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,900
Well the thing that was 
previously said is Christ 

325
00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:19,200
submission to the will of God, 
so I don't want to submit to my 

326
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,300
husband. 
Well then you're better than 

327
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:23,600
Jesus, you're higher than him 
and somehow you outrank him. 

328
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,400
He didn't he didn't think it was
a bad thing. 

329
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:30,900
But Jesus submits to the will of
the father in verse 22, it says 

330
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,700
he committed. 
No sin, neither was deceit. 

331
00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:34,900
Found in his mouth, I'm in 
Chapter 2, a jump back on you 

332
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,700
when he was reviled. 
He did not revile in return when

333
00:15:37,700 --> 00:15:40,700
he suffered, he did not 
threaten, but he continued 

334
00:15:40,700 --> 00:15:45,800
entrusting himself to the one 
who judges justly he himself 

335
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,500
bore our sins on the tree that 
we might die to sin and live to 

336
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,600
righteousness by his wounds. 
You have been healed for, you 

337
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:54,900
were straying like sheep, but 
have now returned to the 

338
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,800
Shepherd in the overseer of your
souls. 

339
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:01,300
Likewise wives. 
So the one who submitted himself

340
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:06,300
before the father, Likewise 
wives be subject to your own 

341
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,000
husbands. 
Why would I do that? 

342
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:11,300
So that even if some do not obey
the word, they may be won 

343
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:13,300
without a word by the conduct of
their wives. 

344
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:18,000
When they see your respectful. 
And pure conduct, do not let 

345
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,300
your adorning be external, the 
braiding of hair, the putting on

346
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:25,700
of gold jewelry or the clothing 
you wear, but let your adorning 

347
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,900
be the hidden person of the 
heart, with the imperishable, 

348
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:31,300
beauty of a gentle and quiet 
Spirit. 

349
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,800
Why would I want to do that? 
Which is Is very precious in 

350
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:38,000
God's sight. 
This is precious to God. 

351
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,300
Why? 
Because it reminds him of his 

352
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:42,900
son. 
It shows him exactly what Jesus 

353
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,100
did before him. 
What am I just supposed to have 

354
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,300
a gentle and quiet Spirit 
exactly. 

355
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,700
Now you've got it. 
That's exactly what the Bible 

356
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:51,900
says, why? 
Because it's very precious in 

357
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:55,300
God's sight. 
A wife, who wants to do things 

358
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,200
that are very precious in the 
sight of God? 

359
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:01,700
Well, we'll see. 
Will attempt to cultivate this 

360
00:17:01,700 --> 00:17:06,200
gentle and quiet spirit for this
is how the holy women who hoped 

361
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:10,000
in God used to Adorn themselves 
by submitting to their own 

362
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:14,500
husband's, as Sara obeyed, 
Abraham calling him Lord, and 

363
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,700
you are her children. 
If you do, what is good and do 

364
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:20,400
not fear anything that is 
frightening, and of course, 

365
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,300
that's the Temptation. 
That's the difficulty. 

366
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,500
This is, this can be 
frightening. 

367
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:26,800
And a loving husband wants to 
alleviate those fears. 

368
00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:29,800
What if he doesn't? 
Well, he can be won without a 

369
00:17:29,808 --> 00:17:31,800
word. 
So, we're not, we're not making 

370
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,200
any either of these commands 
contingent upon the other. 

371
00:17:34,500 --> 00:17:35,800
It's not husbands love your 
wives. 

372
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,500
If it's husbands, love your 
wives period. 

373
00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:40,200
It's not wives submit to your 
husband's. 

374
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,800
If it's husbands, love your 
wives. 

375
00:17:43,300 --> 00:17:45,900
You know what I was doing? 
I don't know where I left. 

376
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:50,100
I don't, you know, you know, the
thing as was famously said, you 

377
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:55,100
know, the thing. 
So, like I said, we're going to 

378
00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:58,200
get very specific, but this is 
the heart of submission, not 

379
00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:00,500
just the external act. 
Tell me what I have to do, and 

380
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,200
I'll do the absolute minimums of
it all. 

381
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,900
Well, then you've missed the 
spirit of it all. 

382
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,900
It's a gentle and quiet Spirit 
which is pleasing to the Lord. 

383
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,800
And then that will find its way.
Like I said, if a man When a Man

384
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,400
Loves a Woman, When a Man Loves 
a Woman, he will find all kinds 

385
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,300
of Expressions. 
He'll figure it out when a wife 

386
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:21,300
is actually submitted. 
All the details will get sorted 

387
00:18:21,300 --> 00:18:23,800
out because the heart of the 
thing is is accurate. 

388
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,600
Heart of the thing is, right? 
And if she's imperfect in her 

389
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,900
application, will praise God, 
she still submitted to her 

390
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,800
husband to. 
Hey, say, hey, I didn't like the

391
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,900
way you did that and she doesn't
then step into defense and go. 

392
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,700
Well, I was trying to she can 
just deferring, okay? 

393
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,900
How would you prefer me to do 
it? 

394
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,900
And now we can still move 
forward with loving this with 

395
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:44,100
gentleness. 
He's not harsh because he's 

396
00:18:44,100 --> 00:18:48,300
commanded not to be and and 
she's not controlling she 

397
00:18:48,300 --> 00:18:52,400
submitted. 
A gentle and quiet spirit is 

398
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,200
very precious in the sight of 
God. 

399
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,900
We are done with the first half 
page of our sermon, only eight 

400
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,400
to go. 
Good news. 

401
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:02,700
Now, I'm actually gonna be doing
a lot of reading. 

402
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:06,200
So, now, how how, how, how to 
submit to your husband? 

403
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,100
How did you what? 
Exactly remember what is 

404
00:19:08,100 --> 00:19:10,500
submission, how to order 
yourself under your husband's 

405
00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:13,200
Authority, how to help your 
husband, how to build up your 

406
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,900
household had a glorify God with
your gentle and quiet Spirit. 

407
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,800
First thing I recommend asked 
him what would be submissive to 

408
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,800
him. 
What does he prefer this? 

409
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,700
Kills two birds with one stone 
you can you see that? 

410
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,700
Why? 
Because your being submissive by

411
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:33,300
asking right away and of course 
you're also finding out what he 

412
00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:34,800
considers submissive in 
respectful. 

413
00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:39,000
That feels a little bit. 
Submissive I know now we're 

414
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:44,900
getting somewhere. 
As a husband, you might hear 

415
00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:46,400
this suggestion and think I 
don't even know. 

416
00:19:46,408 --> 00:19:48,500
If I'm comfortable with that, 
then I would say re-listen to 

417
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:52,200
this entire series and continue 
continue to renew your mind with

418
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,200
the word of God so that you 
don't fall prey to the lie that 

419
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,400
your Authority is given to you 
to stroke your ego. 

420
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,400
That is not the mission that 
we're after here. 

421
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,900
The mission that we're after is,
the will of God being fulfilled 

422
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,300
in a household in a marriage to 
glorify the Lord and to show the

423
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:08,700
world, what Christ in the church
really looks like so I can get 

424
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:11,500
my way get whatever I want. 
Brother, your Authority is 

425
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,700
power. 
So technically it's a two-edged 

426
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:17,100
sword, it cuts a bad way to you.
Could empty the savings account 

427
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:20,200
for a boat for a bass boat. 
You could you have the power to 

428
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:25,200
do so but you also have a head 
and your power was not given to 

429
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,200
fulfill your every desire. 
Your power was given to fulfill 

430
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,100
the Lord's desires. 
Well who makes the final call? 

431
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:34,900
Will you do you do you make 
those decisions by the loving? 

432
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,900
Husband is cherishing and 
honoring and blessing his wife a

433
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,300
loving father is cherishing and 
honoring and blessing his 

434
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:43,100
children so of course he's 
Laying down his life in that 

435
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:47,000
process. 
It's a famous book called 

436
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,300
Leaders, Eat Last. 
And in the book, they make the 

437
00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:53,000
argument, how the military 
leadership, I forget which 

438
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,300
branch it was. 
Think happy thoughts? 

439
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,600
Yeah, Marine Corps. 
You would know, wouldn't you? 

440
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:03,200
So the, the leaders would eat 
last but the title of the book, 

441
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,600
interestingly enough is not 
leaders, don't eat. 

442
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:09,200
So husbands, you know, you're 
included in loving yourself. 

443
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,800
Well and yet, we know that we're
putting everybody else first to 

444
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,400
accomplish the will of God. 
So this isn't about your ego. 

445
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,400
So you don't have to shy away 
from this. 

446
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,500
This is an in service to your 
pride. 

447
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,400
This is beautiful to God. 
This is christ-like behavior for

448
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,500
your wife. 
It's a comfort to her and it 

449
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:28,200
actually, Shoe to accomplish the
purposes of God for your life 

450
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:35,000
quite well. 
Go to Titus, Chapter 2. 

451
00:21:36,900 --> 00:21:39,000
I'm going to keep going, I'm 
going to keep getting specific 

452
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:45,600
Titus, Chapter 2, turn to your 
left if you were there and Peter

453
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:51,600
Right after 2nd Timothy. 
Titus Chapter 2 verses 3 through

454
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,400
5 what are women supposed to do?
According the new debt, New 

455
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,600
Testament older women likewise, 
or to be reverent in Behavior, 

456
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,600
not slanderers or slaves, too 
much wine. 

457
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,000
They are to teach what is good 
and so, train, the younger 

458
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,500
women. 
So what are older women supposed

459
00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:09,300
to train younger women to do to 
love their husbands, and 

460
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:13,900
children to be, self-controlled 
to be pure working at home, kind

461
00:22:13,900 --> 00:22:15,800
and submissive to their own 
husbands. 

462
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,200
So that the word of God may not 
be reviled. 

463
00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:24,500
And so, even a wife submission 
has impact on how people see and

464
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,100
recognize the word of God. 
And the beauty of the Kingdom. 

465
00:22:27,900 --> 00:22:30,100
This is, this is another 
priority that we were given in 

466
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,600
Ephesians. 
We were shown that we're 

467
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,700
supposed to show the world 
Christ in the church. 

468
00:22:33,900 --> 00:22:35,500
So there's a lot that can be 
accomplished here. 

469
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:36,900
What else what else does it look
like? 

470
00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:40,200
I'm going to keep going zoom 
zoom in on some details now how 

471
00:22:40,300 --> 00:22:43,300
how can I submit to my husband? 
You can help him in his mission 

472
00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:45,500
all the way back to the Garden. 
That was our first purpose. 

473
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:48,800
We talked about what was a woman
made for we couldn't we couldn't

474
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:52,000
and we wouldn't It to sidestep 
Eve was made for Adam. 

475
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:56,300
A wife is made for her husband. 
So sub Mission sub like 

476
00:22:56,300 --> 00:23:00,400
submarine underneath submission 
under Mission. 

477
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,400
I want to get under my husband's
mission is with The Godly wife 

478
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,900
would say this is the primary 
application of submission in 

479
00:23:06,900 --> 00:23:10,100
scripture, by the way. 
Getting under the mission of 

480
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:11,900
your husband. 
This is the primary application 

481
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:14,900
in scripture, the primary 
application of submission in 

482
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:18,000
American Pope. 
It's is almost always the - 

483
00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,200
ladies. 
Here's how to act when you can't

484
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,300
get your way. 
But that's not the biblical 

485
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:25,500
approach to submission. 
The biblical message of 

486
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:29,700
submission is hey girls, sorry, 
but he gets to be the boss. 

487
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,600
That's not what the scripture. 
Reveals, the scripture reveals 

488
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,000
ladies. 
Hey, give yourself to your 

489
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,100
husband's Mission and everybody 
wins live happily ever after. 

490
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,100
That's the scriptural approach. 
The very modern in the past 

491
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,100
hundred year. 
Message has been girls. 

492
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:45,000
I got some bad news. 
I'm real. 

493
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:49,400
Sorry, please don't shoot the 
messenger, he's in charge. 

494
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,700
I know it stinks. 
That's not the message of 

495
00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:54,100
scripture. 
At all, the message of scripture

496
00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:59,000
is glorify God as a wife. 
You glorify God as a husband, 

497
00:23:59,300 --> 00:24:02,300
we're not gender-neutral humans 
who are just figuring this thing

498
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:04,000
out. 
We have particular roles and it 

499
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:08,000
means something and its glorious
because God loves mountains. 

500
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,300
And he loves valleys, he loves 
deserts and he loves oceans, and

501
00:24:11,300 --> 00:24:14,300
he created masculine and 
feminine polarity and he called 

502
00:24:14,300 --> 00:24:16,800
it all good. 
It's not a result of the fall 

503
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,700
headship and submission didn't 
come after the fall, Eve's 

504
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:22,700
temptation to grass for control.
All came as a result of the 

505
00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:24,900
Fall. 
Hey, you got a loving head who 

506
00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:29,300
named you and who blesses you 
and provides for you because you

507
00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:31,900
disobeyed his word and you ate 
the fruit. 

508
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,400
Now, you're going to have the 
temptation to rise up against 

509
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,200
the loving headship that I 
placed over you. 

510
00:24:37,500 --> 00:24:40,500
That was the punishment to Eve. 
Ladies this is going to be a 

511
00:24:40,508 --> 00:24:43,800
fight continually for you. 
This is a challenge and flesh 

512
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,900
that must be crucified much like
a husband has to crucify his 

513
00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,000
harshness. 
Do not be harsh with your 

514
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
wive's. 
The scripture tells us be 

515
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:54,500
gentle, So nurturing nourishing 
caring for them even as you 

516
00:24:54,500 --> 00:24:57,500
would your own body. 
That's the Temptation. 

517
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,700
Have I arrived? 
No, it's the journey that I will

518
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:04,300
continue to live into to humble 
myself before the Lord humble 

519
00:25:04,300 --> 00:25:07,000
yourself and submit under your 
husband's mission. 

520
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:12,700
Submission is not only 
disagreement. 

521
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:17,000
It is incorrectly taught that a 
husband's head ship is just the 

522
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:21,500
tiebreaker vote for decisions. 
Because this forgets that a wife

523
00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:26,700
is is is not her husband's 
competitor, but she is his 

524
00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,600
crown. 
According to the word of God. 

525
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:31,100
She adds to him and she 
glorifies him. 

526
00:25:31,100 --> 00:25:32,900
She doesn't seek to compete with
him. 

527
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,800
No, King wants to fight battles 
against his crown. 

528
00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:39,300
So be his helper in his mission.
What does that look like 

529
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,000
practically? 
Well, you defer to his direction

530
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:45,300
for the big story of your lives.
It's his plans are your plans, 

531
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:48,500
his gifts are yours to support. 
His weaknesses, are yours to 

532
00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:53,000
assist but not to mother. 
What else would you do to help 

533
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,600
him in his mission? 
Well again, according to Titus 

534
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,500
as a keeper at home, you're 
making the home a beautiful Safe

535
00:25:58,500 --> 00:26:00,800
Haven from the outside pressures
of Life. 

536
00:26:01,300 --> 00:26:03,700
Are you a great cook? 
Then you use that talent to make

537
00:26:03,700 --> 00:26:06,800
his favorite meals and snacks 
without him asking are you a 

538
00:26:06,808 --> 00:26:09,600
people person you could 
accompany him to social 

539
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,500
Gatherings or host get-togethers
of the people that he loves and 

540
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:16,100
likes his friends. 
His family, his co-workers over 

541
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,700
whatever your gifts are, there 
is a way to use those to magnify

542
00:26:19,700 --> 00:26:23,200
your husband and to help him be.
Or of what God has called him to

543
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,300
be and you get to constantly be 
the beneficiary of it all. 

544
00:26:27,900 --> 00:26:30,200
What else can I do to honor? 
My husband to submit to my 

545
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:32,700
husband. 
You honor his word as final. 

546
00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:37,000
This means, the husband has 
Authority for decisions because 

547
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,400
he Bears responsibility for the 
outcomes. 

548
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,300
Why does he get to be in charge 
when anybody who asked that 

549
00:26:43,300 --> 00:26:45,300
question reveals? 
They don't know what being in 

550
00:26:45,300 --> 00:26:48,000
charge means and they're 
forgetting the leg of 

551
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,000
responsibility. 
He Bears, the burden, let him, 

552
00:26:51,900 --> 00:26:53,700
let him feel the weight of his 
decisions. 

553
00:26:53,900 --> 00:26:55,200
Let him feel. 
The pressure. 

554
00:26:55,500 --> 00:26:57,800
Don't make him feel like he had 
to go to war with you for six 

555
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,100
months on this decision. 
Until finally you go fine and 

556
00:27:02,100 --> 00:27:06,400
you wait for the thing to fail. 
Rather you go, may I share my 

557
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,300
concerns, may, I share 
something, he goes, of course, I

558
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,000
love my wife. 
If I care for my wife, I want to

559
00:27:12,008 --> 00:27:14,900
answer, whatever she may have, 
she's wise, she's Godly, she's 

560
00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:17,200
good. 
I want her perspective, what 

561
00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,200
kind of idiot Captain would you 
have to be to not want a great 

562
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,300
brilliant? 
First officer, you have to be 

563
00:27:22,300 --> 00:27:28,300
quite prideful quite foolish, it
happens, but the Lord doesn't 

564
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:30,400
approve of it. 
So what else can I do? 

565
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,300
Honor, his word is final. 
He Bears the responsibility for 

566
00:27:33,300 --> 00:27:36,400
for final outcomes. 
Let him feel that weight and be 

567
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,800
at peace, knowing that God is 
still on his throne and you as a

568
00:27:39,808 --> 00:27:41,400
wife. 
Always trust the Good Shepherd, 

569
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,000
no matter what. 
So that comes to the children 

570
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,300
that comes to everything when 
it's with the kids. 

571
00:27:46,300 --> 00:27:49,300
It's what did Dad say. 
You support and affirm his 

572
00:27:49,300 --> 00:27:51,600
decisions. 
You defer to him and you put 

573
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,600
decisions on him. 
I'm supposed to put that weight 

574
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,000
on him. 
It's already on him. 

575
00:27:56,100 --> 00:27:57,900
It's his responsibility. 
Ultimately. 

576
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,600
So the more you defer to him the
more he actually feels the 

577
00:28:00,608 --> 00:28:03,000
burden of command. 
Which Ladies, by the way, that's

578
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,300
what you want. 
You want your husband to feel 

579
00:28:05,300 --> 00:28:08,300
the burden of command. 
You want him to feel the weight 

580
00:28:08,300 --> 00:28:11,600
of what a dad saying he's like. 
I got to think about this, I've 

581
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,700
got to do this. 
Yeah. 

582
00:28:13,100 --> 00:28:15,000
Well I wish my husband would get
more involved. 

583
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,700
Then stop being the husband stop
being a husband and then there 

584
00:28:18,700 --> 00:28:20,300
it will it will create the 
vacuum. 

585
00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:24,100
Unfortunately he went first and 
he very likely created a vacuum 

586
00:28:24,100 --> 00:28:26,500
of leadership. 
I've been there ask me how I 

587
00:28:26,508 --> 00:28:29,500
know man that you seem like 
you're quite quite knowledgeable

588
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:32,200
on the subject. 
Yeah I was the master at doing 

589
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:34,500
it all wrong. 
Thankfully, through repentance 

590
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:37,900
and the word of God, we've seen 
a lot of growth but I first 

591
00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:40,100
created the vacuum of leadership
and Natalie. 

592
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,900
He goes oh no. 
Nobody's leading. 

593
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:44,800
There's no head here. 
I guess I'll step in and then 

594
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,200
I'm going. 
Why are you nagging me? 

595
00:28:46,900 --> 00:28:48,800
Why are you nagging me? 
She's a well, I guess somebody 

596
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,200
had to be the man of the house, 
so she stepped into that role. 

597
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:57,108
She was trying to be helpful but
her fears were also part of that

598
00:28:57,116 --> 00:28:59,100
motivator and then the friction 
begins. 

599
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:01,400
And now we're at war with one 
another really? 

600
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,400
Because the head wasn't just 
being the head that he was 

601
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,200
supposed to be if he had led 
well. 

602
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,300
She most likely would have found
an easy place to come in there 

603
00:29:08,300 --> 00:29:11,200
and be submissive. 
But again, I don't want to. 

604
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:12,800
I don't want to make the 
argument that we're making these

605
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,100
dependent upon one another. 
Although I do want to show you 

606
00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:16,700
the beauty of when these are 
both working together. 

607
00:29:16,700 --> 00:29:19,700
It is glorious. 
Glorious. 

608
00:29:19,700 --> 00:29:22,500
Can I do it on my own? 
You absolutely can and should 

609
00:29:22,700 --> 00:29:24,900
Good. 
And yet, when they're working 

610
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:28,400
together, that's when we come to
ecstatically, married, it is 

611
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,100
beautiful. 
And it is good. 

612
00:29:30,100 --> 00:29:31,900
And all of God's ways are 
perfect. 

613
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:35,300
So many wives have grown 
accustomed to making all 

614
00:29:35,300 --> 00:29:37,600
decisions. 
Then, after doing this for 

615
00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,600
years, they find they've 
exhausted themselves. 

616
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,000
They have a passive husband that
they're a little bit disgusted 

617
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,200
by. 
And then they, what they should 

618
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:47,100
do, is, they actually should 
make him feel the weight of his 

619
00:29:47,100 --> 00:29:51,000
words again, run with his plans 
and then execute on them, and 

620
00:29:51,008 --> 00:29:52,600
then he's gone. 
Whoa, she's like taking me 

621
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:54,700
seriously. 
She's like doing what I say, he 

622
00:29:54,700 --> 00:29:56,100
begins to feel that weight 
again. 

623
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,300
That's a healthy thing, that's a
good thing. 

624
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:01,300
And even if you start doing this
and he goes, you're just doing 

625
00:30:01,300 --> 00:30:05,500
my pastor to Michael said he 
say, Sir, absolutely, I am this 

626
00:30:05,500 --> 00:30:07,300
isn't a trick. 
It's not a play. 

627
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:11,600
It's not a game. 
It's not a way to manipulate, 

628
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,700
it's a way to be obedient. 
So when family or friends are 

629
00:30:14,708 --> 00:30:17,500
making plans, you get used to 
saying, I'll ask my husband and 

630
00:30:17,500 --> 00:30:19,700
get back with you. 
Why? 

631
00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,600
Because the two have become one 
and you no longer defer to your 

632
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:25,800
parents, you defer to your 
husband when he's made a 

633
00:30:25,808 --> 00:30:28,700
decision or given a direction. 
I'm glad my wife is cheering 

634
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:32,000
this morning. 
When he's made a decision or 

635
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,700
given a direction. 
From the little things to the 

636
00:30:33,700 --> 00:30:35,000
big things. 
Are the kids going to play 

637
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,100
soccer? 
This spring? 

638
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,300
Are we going to get that new 
vehicle this year? 

639
00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:41,300
You fully obey with real support
and real help. 

640
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:47,000
Not I'm so sick of this van. 
I'm so sick of this van. 

641
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,200
I'm so sick of this van. 
He loves you, he wants to 

642
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,500
provide nice things for you. 
Do not shame him. 

643
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,000
Do not shame him. 
That is a cancer in his bones. 

644
00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:59,500
Don't do that. 
That's a cruelty to do to a 

645
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:01,500
husband who wants to provide, 
who wants to lead. 

646
00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:03,600
Who wants to give you nice 
things but he's got to look at 

647
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,200
the whole thing. 
Well, he ain't looking at the 

648
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:06,900
whole thing. 
Well, continue to look in the 

649
00:31:06,908 --> 00:31:09,500
mirror sister at your 
submission, continue to look at 

650
00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,600
how you can support and bless 
and on. 

651
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,100
Well he oughta, there's a 
million things he oughta and 

652
00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:16,700
there's a million things, she 
oughta, let's focus on the 

653
00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,800
things that are given to us 
directly. 

654
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,700
So, I'll ask my husband is the 
language, you want to 

655
00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:26,300
continually use. 
In honoring his word, you should

656
00:31:26,300 --> 00:31:30,400
also ask for his guidance, make 
him feel the weight again of his

657
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,600
leadership, by letting him use 
his gift. 

658
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,800
He's good at solving problems, 
move forward with his counsel 

659
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,600
and then come back and let him 
know the results. 

660
00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:43,800
Don't ask him for counsel and 
then rebel against it. 

661
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,200
He's gone. 
Well, you asked for my input, 

662
00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:48,200
she's like, yeah, but you're 
wrong. 

663
00:31:48,300 --> 00:31:49,300
I don't think that's the right 
way. 

664
00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,200
Go go actually execute on the 
thing. 

665
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,300
That he said, come back. 
Let him feel the weight of his 

666
00:31:53,300 --> 00:31:55,300
decision. 
What's another thing that we can

667
00:31:55,300 --> 00:31:58,900
do as you as you seek to submit 
to your husband, ask for his 

668
00:31:58,900 --> 00:32:04,700
permission, Ask for his 
permission. 

669
00:32:04,900 --> 00:32:06,100
No way. 
I would only do that for my 

670
00:32:06,100 --> 00:32:08,000
boss. 
No way. 

671
00:32:08,100 --> 00:32:09,500
I'd only do that for a police 
officer. 

672
00:32:09,500 --> 00:32:11,300
No way. 
I'd only do that for the judge. 

673
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:14,600
No way only do that for another 
a million other settings, a 

674
00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:16,900
million other men in life. 
But my husband, what do you 

675
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:19,100
think I am? 
Don't you know, I'm a powerful 

676
00:32:19,100 --> 00:32:22,300
woman. 
Ask for his permission, why? 

677
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:25,800
Because it is submissive 
communication, this is this one 

678
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:27,100
of those details. 
Yeah, this is one of those 

679
00:32:27,100 --> 00:32:29,900
details again, that I'm just 
trying to help you embody the 

680
00:32:29,900 --> 00:32:32,300
heart of the thing. 
I'm giving you an example of 

681
00:32:32,300 --> 00:32:34,200
what would it look? 
I really want to embody it. 

682
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:38,000
Well, then here's a sample way 
to embody it because it's 

683
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,200
submission. 
It is submissive communication, 

684
00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:43,200
it's submitting on the front end
and not just waiting for the 

685
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:45,600
back end to submit. 
I'm not waiting for future 

686
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,000
conflict and disagreement and 
go. 

687
00:32:47,300 --> 00:32:52,300
All right, I submit I don't know
that you do. 

688
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,000
But thanks. 
Feels awesome. 

689
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,200
It's not the crown. 
So wives have been led to 

690
00:33:01,208 --> 00:33:03,400
believe that they were to make 
their point there to fight for 

691
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,800
their truth and then only yield 
when their husband will not. 

692
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,600
But this isn't biblical and this
isn't christ-like submission. 

693
00:33:09,700 --> 00:33:12,800
This is just being defeated. 
This is being conquered. 

694
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:15,300
It's just running into a wall 
and you go on. 

695
00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:17,700
I can't proceed any further. 
That's all that is. 

696
00:33:17,900 --> 00:33:20,600
That's not a deference. 
That's not a surrender. 

697
00:33:20,700 --> 00:33:22,400
That's a he's more stubborn than
me. 

698
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:25,200
He wins. 
That's what we've been taught 

699
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,400
and we've been told Praise God. 
Sister. 

700
00:33:28,100 --> 00:33:29,700
Well done, you did it. 
You did it. 

701
00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:33,700
Well, pastors have congratulated
you for that behavior, but the 

702
00:33:33,700 --> 00:33:36,700
heart of it wasn't, submissive 
the heart of it was, who made 

703
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:38,800
the best idea. 
When well, the wise Captain 

704
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,700
should certainly go with 
whatever is best and not what he

705
00:33:41,700 --> 00:33:44,900
thought of. 
But again, that he has a head 

706
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:48,700
for that as well. 
So, what does this look like to 

707
00:33:48,700 --> 00:33:50,500
ask his permission when making 
plans? 

708
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,100
Hey so-and-so, is having a 
birthday party next Saturday. 

709
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,600
Can we go or may I take the kids
instead of saying, hey, we're 

710
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,400
going to this birthday party 
next Saturday. 

711
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,700
And he might be an autopilot. 
Be like, okay, he died a little 

712
00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:08,500
bit inside, as a husband, I can 
tell you every time, every time 

713
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,600
she's ever told me, hey, we're 
doing this except a turd, a 

714
00:34:11,699 --> 00:34:15,600
something Amigos. 
And every husband's like hey 

715
00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,699
man, and we didn't know it, we 
didn't recognize it. 

716
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,100
What was that? 
What was on that? 

717
00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:21,900
Both of us? 
I was my own passivity. 

718
00:34:22,199 --> 00:34:24,900
I'm just sitting there going, 
okay, didn't that kid of a 

719
00:34:24,900 --> 00:34:28,100
birthday last year? 
Like this kid has a birthday 

720
00:34:28,100 --> 00:34:32,800
every year. 
Don't you like kids? 

721
00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:35,699
Yeah, they're great. 
But like do I have to go to this

722
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:39,400
kid's birthday? 
Every time he has one but she's 

723
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:40,500
going. 
Hey we're doing this. 

724
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,699
Hey we're doing that. 
Hey we're doing this. 

725
00:34:41,699 --> 00:34:44,699
Hey we're doing that instead of 
hey we've been invited to this. 

726
00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:47,400
What do you think we should we 
do? 

727
00:34:49,300 --> 00:34:52,800
I feel respected now. 
I've been totally deferred to 

728
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:55,300
she totally yielded the outcomes
even though she's worried that 

729
00:34:55,300 --> 00:34:58,700
Becky's going to be offended. 
If we don't come, she's afraid 

730
00:34:59,100 --> 00:35:00,300
Welbeck. 
He's not gonna like this. 

731
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:02,000
I know that but you're not 
living. 

732
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,100
You didn't marry Becky. 
You married, your husband so 

733
00:35:05,100 --> 00:35:07,300
you'd have heard him. 
Hey, y'all come in Saturday. 

734
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:10,100
I don't know. 
I'll talk to John Michael and 

735
00:35:10,100 --> 00:35:12,000
I'll get back with you 
announcer. 

736
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,200
Michael can be the bad guy. 
Hey I can take it. 

737
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:18,700
I can handle it. 
Let your husband be that be that

738
00:35:18,700 --> 00:35:21,200
guy. 
You get to be relieved. 

739
00:35:21,300 --> 00:35:22,600
Hey, Becky. 
We're not going to be able to 

740
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,300
make it or we're not coming. 
Hey, John. 

741
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:28,300
Michael has other plans for us. 
What should I tell Becky? 

742
00:35:28,300 --> 00:35:29,900
Tell her John Michael has other 
plans. 

743
00:35:30,100 --> 00:35:31,800
What are our plans? 
It doesn't matter. 

744
00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:34,400
I might want us all to sit in 
the living room and just hang 

745
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,900
out and look at each other and 
talk. 

746
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,400
I don't owe the world, an 
explanation for what we're 

747
00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,400
doing. 
Well, I feel like Becky's gonna 

748
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,500
want one. 
Well, I didn't marry Becky. 

749
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:48,100
I'm not married to Becky and 
well, her husband does this and 

750
00:35:48,100 --> 00:35:51,500
that's between her Becky and her
husband in the Lord, but you're 

751
00:35:51,500 --> 00:35:56,300
deferring to me, not Becky's, 
husband or Becky Don't be afraid

752
00:35:56,300 --> 00:35:57,900
of anything. 
That's frightening, sisters, 

753
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,300
these things are frightening. 
These things aren't are 

754
00:36:00,300 --> 00:36:03,000
difficult. 
Husbands, don't be harsh, it's 

755
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,300
both and don't be afraid, 
sisters. 

756
00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:08,500
And husbands, don't be harsh, 
it's all together. 

757
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,300
What if he was obey the word 
sister? 

758
00:36:12,400 --> 00:36:14,300
What if she won't obey the word 
brother? 

759
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:23,800
Wives often get mad when their 
husbands wives often get mad at 

760
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,200
their husbands when they tell 
them about plans and their 

761
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:30,200
husband forgets. 
But it's not, submissive to tell

762
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:34,600
your husband about plans. 
And the reason he probably 

763
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,300
forgot his because he didn't 
ever decide anything, it just 

764
00:36:37,300 --> 00:36:39,300
happened upon him, he's in the 
middle of doing something, he 

765
00:36:39,300 --> 00:36:41,300
said, hey, we're doing this 
thing and you probably did that 

766
00:36:41,300 --> 00:36:44,200
on purpose because you knew you 
could get a passive answer from 

767
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,100
him because you're clever, but 
not submitted. 

768
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:49,500
So you're going. 
Hey, we're doing this. 

769
00:36:49,500 --> 00:36:53,200
Insanity is on, okay? 
Like okay, I'm doing something 

770
00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:55,000
else. 
Why is play? 

771
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:56,300
We saw our children. 
Do that against us? 

772
00:36:56,300 --> 00:36:58,000
Right? 
Hey, can I blame on you? 

773
00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:00,700
Oh yeah. 
And then later like yes. 

774
00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:08,500
You gave me your solemn vow. 
But that's not submissive. 

775
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:12,500
It's a bit clever, but it's not 
good and it doesn't show a man 

776
00:37:12,500 --> 00:37:15,400
respect and it doesn't make a 
wife feel comforted, she just 

777
00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:17,900
constantly playing against him. 
That's not a crown. 

778
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,400
As feels like somebody who's in 
the kingdom is working against 

779
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,400
you rather than working with you
and for you. 

780
00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:27,900
So it this stuff is difficult to
catch for husbands by the way, 

781
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:30,900
it requires a lot of effort for 
her husband to recognize and 

782
00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:33,600
correct, his behavior, and his 
wife, and no man wants to be in 

783
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:36,800
conflict with his wife. 
No man wants to be in conflict 

784
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,000
with his Down. 
So couples, usually start down 

785
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,600
these paths, and stay in them 
for their entire marriage. 

786
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,600
This is like standard operating 
procedure for almost all 

787
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,500
marriages. 
So, if you're like, oh my 

788
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:47,300
goodness. 
This is us. 

789
00:37:47,300 --> 00:37:49,100
Y'all. 
This is like everybody. 

790
00:37:49,500 --> 00:37:52,800
This is this unfortunately is 
like really common normal stuff.

791
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,400
How do we get out of it? 
Well, this is what we're hearing

792
00:37:55,500 --> 00:37:59,300
using permissive language. 
Like, may I use may I and show 

793
00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:03,100
respect that feels like such a 
submissive thing to say because 

794
00:38:03,100 --> 00:38:05,500
you're actually clearly. 
Arranging yourself under him. 

795
00:38:06,100 --> 00:38:08,100
This is the language we use. 
Use with a boss. 

796
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:10,100
Hey, we've got thoughts, we got 
ideas. 

797
00:38:10,100 --> 00:38:14,100
We got plans to bring help and 
still, we do it as a servant in 

798
00:38:14,100 --> 00:38:17,700
obedience to their boss. 
Or the scripture says a servant 

799
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:20,700
to their Master. 
When I've had bosses, I was 

800
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:24,100
acting with a power that they 
had delegated to me, I reported 

801
00:38:24,100 --> 00:38:28,400
directly to the CEO and and he 
had a lot of people and I had a 

802
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,600
position of power and still 
within my role, I didn't come to

803
00:38:31,608 --> 00:38:33,900
him and say everything that I 
was doing. 

804
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,600
I would come to him and say, hey
here's what I intend to do. 

805
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,800
Here's what I'm Thinking if it 
pleases the boss, I'm looking at

806
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:41,600
this. 
I had I had ideas. 

807
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:43,900
That's why he hired me. 
That's why he picked me. 

808
00:38:44,100 --> 00:38:46,800
That's why he liked me. 
He wanted what I had to offer 

809
00:38:47,100 --> 00:38:51,000
and yet he was still looking for
me to honor his office and be 

810
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,200
respectful and make sure I 
understood that we were 

811
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:58,400
accomplishing the mission. 
I was still expected to do 

812
00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,900
everything even though I was 
still to be myself, I was doing 

813
00:39:00,900 --> 00:39:02,600
everything in service to my 
bosses mission. 

814
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,700
May I is a way to show respect, 
and it's a way to show make a 

815
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:09,300
suggestion because the argument 
that comes with submission, 

816
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:12,500
sometimes, I guess I'll just 
shut shut up and sit there who 

817
00:39:12,500 --> 00:39:16,800
told you that I've never heard 
anybody say that to a Christian 

818
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:19,300
woman and if they would, I would
rebuke them for that sin. 

819
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,500
So we can throw that nonsense 
out right away. 

820
00:39:22,700 --> 00:39:24,600
What am I supposed to do? 
How am I supposed to? 

821
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,100
That's the right question. 
The question is with with 

822
00:39:27,100 --> 00:39:30,000
submitted language. 
Hey may I hey honey, what do you

823
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,400
think about a true true giving 
up of the outcome? 

824
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,600
A true giving up of the outcome?
If you feel as though you're 

825
00:39:36,600 --> 00:39:39,200
holding onto the outcome, to 
make it be accomplished, you 

826
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,200
know, you haven't arrived at a 
submitted heart yet. 

827
00:39:41,700 --> 00:39:43,900
Whereas if you truly give up the
outcome to someone else's, 

828
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:49,000
Anne's you're free, you're free 
and now you know, you've 

829
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,700
actually gotten their the 
language. 

830
00:39:50,700 --> 00:39:53,500
I'm giving you samples but you 
don't have to obey the samples, 

831
00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:54,700
you have to obey the word of 
God. 

832
00:39:55,700 --> 00:39:58,200
So don't so don't don't take any
of these two some bizarre 

833
00:39:58,200 --> 00:39:59,200
extremes ago. 
He's on. 

834
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,800
You got to say the spirit of the
thing is the word of God. 

835
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:05,600
Submission and respect and it's 
a beautiful and good thing. 

836
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,600
So what's the wrong way? 
Don't you think we should paint 

837
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,800
the living room? 
No, I don't. 

838
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:16,000
Well, I do. 
This wall was dingy and I'm 

839
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,800
tired of this color and and so 
begins. 

840
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,100
Your long journey, your siege 
against the castle of your 

841
00:40:22,100 --> 00:40:24,600
husband's will for the coming 
months. 

842
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,800
As you have set yourself up for 
frustration and potential, 

843
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:33,500
nagging and disrespect as you 
attempt to wear him down and you

844
00:40:33,500 --> 00:40:37,700
will wear him down and 
eventually that will the room 

845
00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:39,800
might get painted by a 
frustrated. 

846
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:44,200
Man who feels emasculated and a 
wife who now egged him into it. 

847
00:40:44,700 --> 00:40:47,000
This is not beautiful. 
This is not good. 

848
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:51,600
What am I supposed to do? 
Well, it's not submissive. 

849
00:40:52,700 --> 00:40:55,400
It's not respectful by because 
it doesn't come from a gentle 

850
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:56,800
and quiet Spirit. 
Why? 

851
00:40:56,900 --> 00:40:59,000
Because it is directive in its 
nature. 

852
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,700
Don't you think we should do 
this? 

853
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,700
If he thought it, he would have 
done it. 

854
00:41:03,100 --> 00:41:04,900
If he thought it, he would have 
made plans for it. 

855
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:07,500
If he, if he was prioritizing 
it, it would have already 

856
00:41:07,500 --> 00:41:09,100
happened. 
It's a directive. 

857
00:41:09,100 --> 00:41:11,400
If you are a lawyer in court, 
they would say you are leading 

858
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,400
the witness, you're trying to 
get them to say the thing. 

859
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,200
You want them to say rather than
the truth, the whole truth and 

860
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,400
nothing but the truth. 
You want to steer The Narrative,

861
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,200
you want to direct it. 
It's not a submitted. 

862
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:25,300
It Of submitted thing. 
And that's exactly what you're 

863
00:41:25,300 --> 00:41:26,300
trying to do. 
Your husband. 

864
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,700
You're trying to lead him. 
You don't know if he'll do what 

865
00:41:28,700 --> 00:41:31,300
you want, so rather than 
surrender the outcome to his. 

866
00:41:31,300 --> 00:41:34,200
Will you set yourself up in a 
position to liberally from the 

867
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,400
first moment to lead and then 
Direct in case he doesn't see 

868
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,900
things your way? 
And many wives again have this 

869
00:41:39,900 --> 00:41:42,300
hat, have this as a deeply 
ingrained habit. 

870
00:41:42,300 --> 00:41:44,800
So instead what's the sample? 
What's an example, you could 

871
00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:47,700
respectfully say that wall has 
gotten really dingy. 

872
00:41:47,700 --> 00:41:49,900
I've cleaned it as much as I 
can, but I can't get it any 

873
00:41:49,900 --> 00:41:52,300
better than it is. 
Now I'd love to make this room. 

874
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,500
Devil with a color I found 
called ladies. 

875
00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:58,800
Give me some weird color. 
Recycled glass. 

876
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:04,100
Look, it's an agreeable beige. 
I'd love to repaint this one. 

877
00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:06,800
And then, to finish it with, 
what do you think we should do? 

878
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,300
I want the room repainted and 
you're allowed to want the room 

879
00:42:10,300 --> 00:42:13,500
repainted, and you can even 
bring that to your husband with 

880
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:15,000
deference? 
Yes. 

881
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,300
Hey, I've cleaned this wall but 
it's, I can't get it any better.

882
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,100
I'd love to beautify this room. 
I love this color. 

883
00:42:21,200 --> 00:42:25,100
What do you think we should do? 
And now he actually can, now he 

884
00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:28,900
has an option, he has the 
choice, the opportunity to ask. 

885
00:42:28,900 --> 00:42:32,800
You actually give you a gift 
rather than having you extract 

886
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:35,000
something from him. 
Paint this room for me. 

887
00:42:35,100 --> 00:42:40,200
Yes, ma'am. 
He didn't get to give anything 

888
00:42:40,300 --> 00:42:42,800
you robbed him of an opportunity
to give you something. 

889
00:42:42,900 --> 00:42:44,400
Honey. 
I would love this. 

890
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,500
What do you think? 
We can't do that right now 

891
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,600
because of the budget or because
of this or because of that or 

892
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,000
it's not a Time priority or you 
know what? 

893
00:42:54,100 --> 00:42:56,800
Yeah, let's do that baby. 
Go pick out the pink color. 

894
00:42:56,900 --> 00:42:59,900
Now he gets to give his wife a 
gift which as a provider he 

895
00:42:59,900 --> 00:43:03,600
loves to do, he wants to do, 
don't Rob him of opportunities 

896
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:07,500
to give to you well, but what, 
if he doesn't welcome to 

897
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:12,000
submission, welcome to the point
again of he might not, you don't

898
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,300
get to control. 
This isn't a clever trick to 

899
00:43:14,300 --> 00:43:16,000
extract everything you want out 
of him. 

900
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:19,600
It's actual Admission. 
Not just not just putting on a 

901
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,700
facade. 
Okay. 

902
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,400
This is not a way to manipulate 
your husband, it's actual 

903
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:34,100
humility. 
So if that is your reaction but 

904
00:43:34,100 --> 00:43:37,100
what if he won't do it, then you
need to recognize that that is a

905
00:43:37,100 --> 00:43:42,300
lack of submission and your goal
should be to Crown your husband 

906
00:43:42,300 --> 00:43:44,500
not to handcuff him to the will 
of his helper. 

907
00:43:47,100 --> 00:43:49,500
I thought I was going to get a 
team in there when I wrote it. 

908
00:43:49,508 --> 00:43:51,400
When I wrote that in the notes, 
I thought the ladies from like 

909
00:43:51,500 --> 00:43:56,600
ooh That helps but it also hurts
a little bit feels like being 

910
00:43:56,600 --> 00:44:00,200
crucified on a cross almost. 
So what else does that look like

911
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,700
when wanting to make a purchase 
instead of overspending and 

912
00:44:02,700 --> 00:44:05,200
hoping he won't notice you just 
ask his permission. 

913
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,700
What if he won't? 
Let me see where we're going 

914
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:10,200
there. 
Yeah, that's the thing you were 

915
00:44:10,200 --> 00:44:12,500
trying to avoid but that's the 
very thing that was needed. 

916
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,300
One approach is respectful and 
considerate, the other is 

917
00:44:15,300 --> 00:44:16,700
dismissive. 
Oh, he won't care. 

918
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:19,000
Well maybe that's true but 
you're looking to honor his 

919
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,600
leadership now and not 
sidestepping. 

920
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:25,300
What else can I do to honor my 
and be respectful again. 

921
00:44:25,300 --> 00:44:28,100
Ask him. 
It would be a good thing for a 

922
00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:30,100
husband, asked his wife, how can
I love you better? 

923
00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:34,000
That's a good question to ask 
your wife, it's a good question 

924
00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,400
for a wife to ask her husband. 
How can I respect you more? 

925
00:44:39,100 --> 00:44:40,500
How can I respect my husband 
more. 

926
00:44:40,900 --> 00:44:43,800
Another thing you can do, don't 
make accusations judgments or 

927
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,500
demands. 
Instead share your emotions 

928
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:50,100
respectfully and share them 
vulnerably so I'm sick of your 

929
00:44:50,100 --> 00:44:53,000
tools lying around you're worse 
than a child. 

930
00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:56,800
All the husband's blood 
pressure, just went up. 

931
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:00,700
I'm sick of your tools lying 
around your worse than child 

932
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:02,300
clean this up. 
Well, that's horrible. 

933
00:45:02,300 --> 00:45:05,600
Nagging and disrespect. 
What's a little bit better? 

934
00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:07,400
Could you please pick your tools
up? 

935
00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:11,700
That's better, but it's still 
creating the outcome that you're

936
00:45:11,700 --> 00:45:13,700
wanting to happen. 
What would be even better? 

937
00:45:13,900 --> 00:45:16,100
I feel stressed by all the tools
lying around. 

938
00:45:16,100 --> 00:45:18,000
I'm concerned, the kids are 
going to get hurt and this room 

939
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:19,300
just doesn't look pretty 
anymore. 

940
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,500
I'm surrendered it. 
What if he doesn't? 

941
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,500
He's not your baby. 
You, you're not as Mom. 

942
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:30,900
He might not. 
I don't like that. 

943
00:45:31,100 --> 00:45:34,200
I know. 
But, but that's what it looks 

944
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:35,400
like. 
One of the one of these 

945
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:37,500
statements is more submitted 
than the other verses. 

946
00:45:37,900 --> 00:45:40,400
Could you, please do this. 
And he's like, well, I could, 

947
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,400
but I'm not now I'm frustrated 
with him. 

948
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:45,000
But hey, here's what I'm feeling
as a wife. 

949
00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:47,900
And now, your loving husband and
going and now I get to solve 

950
00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:51,300
that I love when Natalie shares 
with me her feelings, her actual

951
00:45:51,300 --> 00:45:52,900
emotions. 
Not, I feel like you're a jerk, 

952
00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:55,000
that's not a feeling that's a 
judgment. 

953
00:45:55,100 --> 00:45:58,300
That's hidden that she used the 
word, I feel, but it's not a 

954
00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:00,800
feeling. 
I want her actual emotions. 

955
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,600
I'm overwhelmed, I'm worried. 
This thing I'm like don't do 

956
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,200
done. 
Tell me what's bothering you. 

957
00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:09,600
And now I get to be the hero 
that I really want to be for my 

958
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:11,200
wife. 
I get to come through with the 

959
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:14,600
outcomes and with the solutions 
versus she's like dictating to 

960
00:46:14,608 --> 00:46:16,800
me and going, oh, this feels 
miserable. 

961
00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:19,600
I don't like this. 
That's the fragile. 

962
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:23,600
Male ego spoken like a woman 
rather than a man who has built 

963
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,200
to lead and love. 
Well, that's what I want to do. 

964
00:46:26,300 --> 00:46:29,700
That's what your husband wants 
to do, so be respectful. 

965
00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,700
Could you please put your socks 
in the hamper? 

966
00:46:35,100 --> 00:46:39,100
It's not a terrible question. 
But you could say, well I asked 

967
00:46:39,100 --> 00:46:41,100
him nicely but did you really 
submit? 

968
00:46:41,800 --> 00:46:43,500
Well, I want to make sure it 
gets done but you don't have 

969
00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:44,900
authority to see if it gets 
done. 

970
00:46:45,300 --> 00:46:47,700
So instead you can say these 
socks and the floor are really 

971
00:46:47,700 --> 00:46:50,200
gross to me. 
He's going to do with it. 

972
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:53,100
What he's going to do with it 
and a loving husband is going to

973
00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:55,500
care about those things, but he 
doesn't want to be mothered. 

974
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:58,600
Well, I wish it wasn't that way.
I'm not telling you about how 

975
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:00,200
it, how you wish it was. 
I'm telling you about how it 

976
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:02,800
actually is and how it's going 
to register in your marriage. 

977
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:05,800
Well, this to me, it just feels 
so submitted, right? 

978
00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:08,200
Submitted is the word you're 
looking for and it's very 

979
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,700
precious in the sight of God, 
because these are examples of 

980
00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:15,600
actual true surrender in a 
situation and not you 

981
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,600
accomplishing an outcome through
this guy that you married. 

982
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:23,100
Just like the sun who prayed. 
Father, not my will, but yours 

983
00:47:23,100 --> 00:47:25,400
be done. 
This is beautiful and precious 

984
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,800
in the sight of God. 
I'm closing now. 

985
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,400
Submission is not about the 
perfect words so if you got hung

986
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,400
up on any of the examples, get 
it unhung, buy them and throw 

987
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:39,400
them away. 
Okay, you're free of any precise

988
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:41,000
example. 
Be like, I don't know, I don't 

989
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,700
know, I don't know, stick with 
the word of God, there's plenty 

990
00:47:43,700 --> 00:47:45,900
there but the question Still 
Remains. 

991
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,800
What would an embodied 
submission really look like? 

992
00:47:49,100 --> 00:47:53,200
What does a heartfelt surrender,
really feel like when you're, 

993
00:47:53,300 --> 00:47:55,900
when you're communicating with 
your husband, submission is not 

994
00:47:55,900 --> 00:47:58,800
about the perfect words but 
about a gentle and quiet Spirit.

995
00:47:58,800 --> 00:48:03,700
Yes, The Overflow of the heart 
causes the mouth to speak so 

996
00:48:03,700 --> 00:48:06,400
you'll know your submitted when 
you actually feel vulnerable and

997
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:08,700
surrendered, when you're 
speaking to your husband, your 

998
00:48:08,700 --> 00:48:11,800
language might pass the sniff 
test but if you don't actually 

999
00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,200
feel that you're not in control 
of the outcome, then you know 

1000
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:18,600
that you're not submitted. 
Philippians 2 verses 4 through 

1001
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:19,900
7. 
Why do I have to be submitted? 

1002
00:48:19,900 --> 00:48:23,000
Because you get to be like 
Christ, this is a good thing, 

1003
00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:25,100
husbands get to be like Christ 
and that they lay down their 

1004
00:48:25,100 --> 00:48:29,000
lives wives, get to be like 
Christ and that they submit like

1005
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:31,000
Christ. 
Did to the father have this 

1006
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:34,400
attitude in yourselves, which 
was also in Christ Jesus. 

1007
00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:38,200
Who, although he existed in the 
form of God did not regard 

1008
00:48:38,200 --> 00:48:41,400
equality with God. 
Something to be grasped, but 

1009
00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:45,000
emptied himself taking the form 
of a bondservant and being made 

1010
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,500
in the likeness. 
Of men. 

1011
00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:50,700
Wives would if your husband 
submitted to Jesus the same way 

1012
00:48:50,700 --> 00:48:54,400
that you submit to your husband.
Would that be good? 

1013
00:48:55,100 --> 00:48:56,300
Well, that would that be awesome
for you? 

1014
00:48:56,300 --> 00:48:59,900
You got, yes, then praise God, 
sister, keep it up, that's 

1015
00:48:59,900 --> 00:49:02,300
beautiful. 
What if, what if your husband is

1016
00:49:02,300 --> 00:49:05,000
already submitting to Jesus and 
the way that you're submitting 

1017
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,400
to your husband? 
What if your children submitted 

1018
00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:10,400
to you in the same way that you 
submit to your husband? 

1019
00:49:11,900 --> 00:49:14,800
Maybe they are. 
Well, the kids, I wish where 

1020
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:17,800
they learn it, or they learn 
that trick, where they learn 

1021
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,500
that tactic. 
Well, they say the right things,

1022
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:23,500
but their attitude. 
Yeah, maybe they'll learn that 

1023
00:49:23,500 --> 00:49:29,200
somewhere submission is not a 
final destination that you're 

1024
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,200
going to arrive at. 
It is a journey that you're on 

1025
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:35,300
and you will continue to get 
better as you practice it, more 

1026
00:49:35,500 --> 00:49:37,500
and more to look more and more 
like Jesus. 

1027
00:49:37,900 --> 00:49:41,800
And of course, like I said, at 
the beginning, although In 

1028
00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,500
context, we're doing a series on
marriage. 

1029
00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:48,400
So this was a sermon for wives 
submission applies to every 

1030
00:49:48,400 --> 00:49:51,100
single person. 
Everybody is under Authority. 

1031
00:49:51,500 --> 00:49:54,000
Every man, every woman, every 
child is under Authority. 

1032
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,900
And again that's good news 
because we have a good God. 

1033
00:49:57,900 --> 00:50:00,500
So as we have our good God, that
we can submit to, we can defer 

1034
00:50:00,500 --> 00:50:02,600
to, we can trust, ladies, you 
can, you don't have to fear 

1035
00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,500
anything. 
That's frightening, you can 

1036
00:50:04,500 --> 00:50:07,300
still in trust yourself into a 
good God. 

1037
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:12,600
And for the exceptions of abuse 
and wickedness and neglect, what

1038
00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:14,400
are you have? 
Ladies, will you have a church 

1039
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,100
for that? 
There is church discipline that 

1040
00:50:17,100 --> 00:50:20,300
exist for this very purpose. 
There's a pastor who will 

1041
00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:24,000
involve himself in scenarios to 
bless and see to it that the 

1042
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,600
will of God is fulfilled. 
So you're not alone and we're 

1043
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:27,900
not excused. 
Nonsense. 

1044
00:50:27,900 --> 00:50:29,000
I'm putting this out here for 
y'all. 

1045
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:30,600
I know you all know this, and 
you've heard me say similar 

1046
00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,600
things, but we're also online on
the podcast. 

1047
00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:35,300
I don't know how many people are
listening to this. 

1048
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:37,600
So I've got to add this 
disclaimer here at the end, but 

1049
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,200
there is a path forward, 
everyone is under Authority. 

1050
00:50:40,500 --> 00:50:43,500
If you call me your pastor and 
I'm going to be your pastor, not

1051
00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:46,200
just your Preacher Man, who 
gives you sermons and that will 

1052
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:48,000
involve those kinds of 
scenarios. 

1053
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:52,700
But Ultimately, we are trusting 
the Lord, we're moving forward 

1054
00:50:52,700 --> 00:50:55,800
in his grace and we recognize, 
this is going to be a blessing 

1055
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,200
to our lives. 
You've got nothing but good news

1056
00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:02,400
today, men, women and children 
in in that we get to love and 

1057
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,900
Obey Jesus by acting just like 
Jesus. 

1058
00:51:05,100 --> 00:51:08,600
Heavenly Father, we thank you 
for your perfect word and your 

1059
00:51:08,600 --> 00:51:11,200
perfect will God. 
We ask that you would bring your

1060
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:15,700
Clarity your direction and your 
Revelation to our actions. 

1061
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:18,800
I pray for the wives of salt 
church that you would show them 

1062
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,600
exactly what it looks. 
Like according to your word and 

1063
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:26,400
your will that they would live a
humble life that they would live

1064
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:29,900
quiet and peaceful lives that 
they would be submitted to their

1065
00:51:29,900 --> 00:51:32,400
husbands and respectful to their
husbands, so that the word of 

1066
00:51:32,400 --> 00:51:36,000
God will not be revealed. 
But that husbands would Thrive 

1067
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,500
that wives with Thrive that 
children's that children would 

1068
00:51:38,508 --> 00:51:42,000
Thrive and that households would
be blessed than marriages would 

1069
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:46,000
be ecstatic. 
That your church would be strong

1070
00:51:46,300 --> 00:51:48,300
God make this a church of strong
marriages. 

1071
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:54,100
We don't want the status quo, we
don't want average, we don't 

1072
00:51:54,100 --> 00:51:56,700
want normal. 
We reject the things that we've 

1073
00:51:56,700 --> 00:52:02,000
learned in the past and we fully
adopt and submit to your word, 

1074
00:52:02,300 --> 00:52:04,900
show us what it looks like to 
live it out to obey it and to 

1075
00:52:04,900 --> 00:52:06,700
apply it. 
We love you. 

1076
00:52:06,700 --> 00:52:09,400
We thank you for your teaching 
and for your instruction and for

1077
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:11,800
your help. 
We can't do anything apart from 

1078
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,200
you. 
So we trust you for the power to

1079
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,200
walk it out in obedience in 
Jesus name. 

1080
00:52:16,700 --> 00:52:17,200
Amen.