1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,160 So thanks for being here. Hopefully y'all are a little 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:05,320 louder than the last bunch. Every time we like say 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:09,120 something, we go. We like, we like to laugh. 4 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,400 Yeah, we like to laugh. We like to have fun. 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:16,880 Yeah, we just want to start with giving you a little insight who 6 00:00:16,880 --> 00:00:20,560 we are, because you've probably heard for the 50th time that we 7 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:26,480 are Curtain Jace's kids and I grew up in Michigan. 8 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:29,200 I'm a Michigander. I still think of myself as a 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,560 Michigander. This is a Tennesseer. 10 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,160 Tennessee and something like that. 11 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,440 That's the best because then you get to do you're the only 10. 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:45,600 I see joke all the time, but we both felt like God put on our 13 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:49,000 hearts to go to Texas. I went to Texas for CF and I 14 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:51,000 it's a Bible institute in Dallas. 15 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:55,800 I went to CF and I, I went to, to Dallas to go to CF and I but 16 00:00:55,800 --> 00:01:01,720 she, she went and I did not. He got convinced by a Best Buy 17 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,920 employee. Or who was it that? 18 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,480 You know it was a pastor of another church. 19 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:10,360 Even worse, OK, he got convinced not to go to the school, even 20 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:12,520 though he literally went to Texas for the school. 21 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,560 And then he started working just different jobs. 22 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:20,440 And I went to school. And then we both found ourselves 23 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,840 at a church in Rockwall, TX called Lakeshore, which is where 24 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,680 we're at now. We work on staff there as the 25 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:31,080 worship covering the bottom of that microphone. 26 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,800 And I go silent. So if that happens, just say, 27 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,400 Jasmine, move your hand up. We both work there now. 28 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,720 We've been at that church since 2017. 29 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:47,680 So I got there in February of 2017 and he got there in March. 30 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,120 So tell me that's not a God thing. 31 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:52,240 Then the next two years was a little bit of like. 32 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,440 It was a friend zone. We were. 33 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,560 It wasn't my choice. I'm just, I'm just letting that 34 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,880 be known. It was the friend zone zone for 35 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:08,400 two years and then in 2019 we started dating. 36 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:14,880 Literally the real story is that I came home to Gaylord for 37 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:18,400 Christmas and my mom made me watch a Hallmark movie. 38 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,760 I hate homework. I just, it's the most 39 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:26,840 predictable movies I've ever seen my whole life and everyone 40 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:29,280 is the same. And I love watching those reels 41 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:32,040 on like, Instagram where they just mock them and they go to 42 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,320 like, Home Depot and the girl, like, acts like something falls 43 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,160 and bumps into the guy, like the whole thing. 44 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:40,720 So I can't stand it. I barely watch movies. 45 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,920 I usually watch National Geographic. 46 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,960 I just like, like informative stuff. 47 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,040 So Hallmark is like the end of me. 48 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,000 And she convinced me to watch one. 49 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,760 And sure enough, it was about a girl and a guy who were just 50 00:02:55,760 --> 00:03:01,280 best friends falling in love. And that night, never had had 51 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:06,360 this happen, never thought about Tyler that way until I got home. 52 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,360 Watch that movie. I laid in my bed that night and 53 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,680 I prayed. I was like, what am I saying out 54 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,720 loud right now? But I said, God, if you ever 55 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,400 want me to end up with Tyler, you'll have to do it because I 56 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,560 burned that bridge a long time ago. 57 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:26,520 She did. And and and so literally one 58 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,400 tear, I feel it still to the state. 59 00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,120 It literally rolled down my cheek. 60 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:34,880 I was like, why am I crying? And moved on with my life. 61 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:39,040 When I got home, Tyler's sister who lived in Texas at the time, 62 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:44,120 she texted me this was like right after and she texted me 63 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,920 and said, I have to tell you, I had a really weird dream about 64 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,920 you. And I said, Oh no, what was it? 65 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,240 And she said, we were on a porch and you were crying. 66 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,560 And I said, why was I crying? And she said, because Tyler 67 00:03:55,560 --> 00:04:00,120 moved on and he had another girlfriend in this dream and it 68 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:03,240 wasn't you. And you were weeping to me on a 69 00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,160 porch. And I was like, that's so weird 70 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,360 that you just said that because I just had a moment where I 71 00:04:09,360 --> 00:04:13,120 prayed and that was it, that after that dream. 72 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:16,120 And that that lie, which was that text message cost me 200 73 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:19,079 bucks, but it worked. And here we and here we are, and 74 00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:21,200 we're married and we have kids, so there's no turning back, you 75 00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:25,160 know? He did make that joke and I was 76 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,960 like, did you really do that? Sure. 77 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:34,160 We'll never know. So yeah, we started dating 2019. 78 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:38,160 We had a COVID wedding. We had 38 people at our wedding. 79 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:41,000 The parting gift was COVID to 30 people. 80 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,560 But we're still here. We're. 81 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,320 Doing good we actually had what they called it's it's literally 82 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,640 a term now called a micro wedding and they came out during 83 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,200 COVID. So we had this dream to have our 84 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,240 wedding in the backyard of mom and Kurt's house and it didn't 85 00:04:56,240 --> 00:05:00,000 happen. But Tyler, to my surprise, did 86 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,280 end up proposing in that backyard. 87 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,600 So there's a little. Different than Texas. 88 00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:07,280 Texas is a free for all. You know, they think that we're 89 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,200 our own country for some odd reason and all those good 90 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,280 things, so. Yeah, I do, actually. 91 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,600 This is so random. I do say this joke all the time 92 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,320 to people in Texas. I say Michigan and Texas are 93 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,680 kind of the same. We both have a lot of state 94 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,560 pride. The only difference is Michigan, 95 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,640 we put our pride on cups and T-shirts and our driver's 96 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:29,400 license plates and our cars in Texas, where's their pride in 97 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,520 their heart? And they just, like, do this to 98 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:34,000 every state and go if if you mess with us, we'll become our 99 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:34,920 own country. Yeah, that's. 100 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,240 True. So that's the only difference. 101 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:41,240 So they're both very pride filled States and we love it. 102 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,760 We're thankful for Michigan and it's been 2 years since we've 103 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,680 been here, but we've been coming here since we were dating and 104 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,240 singing together here. And we love it. 105 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,520 This is a beautiful church. I love, I love what's happening 106 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,240 here. It's it's so family. 107 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,120 It feels like family even from the outside, just just coming 108 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,360 here multiple times. So we love it. 109 00:05:57,360 --> 00:05:58,800 We love and we love the weather here. 110 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,160 We really do. Like Kurt said, it was 110 111 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,360 before we left and then we got off the plane and it was 70 and 112 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,320 it's it's a really magical place. 113 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:12,520 So today we wanted to speak on relationships. 114 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,040 You're probably thinking marriage or dating. 115 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,640 We're kind of going to go a little different way. 116 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,760 We truly believe both my life and Tyler's life have been 117 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:28,080 utterly changed by the right relationships in our life and 118 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:36,360 can be a spouse can be family. But a lot of the times God uses 119 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:40,040 the people around us, other people to dramatically change 120 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:44,800 where we're headed. And so today our kind of like 121 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,480 the title, if you're taking notes is going to be made for 122 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,800 relationship. And we're going to take you 123 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,800 through three types of relationships that we truly 124 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,840 believe are going to change your life if you're not already in 125 00:06:56,840 --> 00:07:00,480 them. And if you have some of these 126 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,800 already, that's awesome. We'll probably give you a couple 127 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,200 tools on how to invest in them. And then also maybe it's time to 128 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,840 take up a new one in one of the categories that we're going to 129 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,960 give to you. So if you're taking notes, we 130 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,480 want you to write three types of relationships. 131 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,800 The first one's going to be mentor, the second one is going 132 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:24,040 to be peer, and the third one is going to be mentee. 133 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,960 Or what is it Protege. Protege. 134 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:28,120 Yeah, it's one of those French words. 135 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,960 OK, protege, We, we can say whatever. 136 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:37,320 OK, disciple Apprentice. Apprentice Disciple. 137 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,480 Disciple. That's Mark Krishna's. 138 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:42,040 Yeah. OK, so those three 139 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:44,880 relationships, we're going to jump in first. 140 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,840 The scripture talks about it. Yeah, so. 141 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:51,240 So we were, we were made, we were made for a relationship. 142 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,800 We're not made to be isolated. I'm an introvert and I like to 143 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:57,520 recharge by myself. This past week has been hard. 144 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,960 But no, we're super thankful. We love you guys. 145 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,520 Seriously, kids just make things a lot complicated. 146 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,920 I don't want to talk about that. Let's move on. 147 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,480 So you can literally say whatever you want. 148 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,720 Apparently, yeah, yeah, yeah. So so we're we're we are made 149 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:13,240 for relationship. You see, in the Bible, like 150 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,200 Genesis, we think of the first problem actually being when Eve 151 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,680 takes the fruit and now all of a sudden it sends into the world 152 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:19,800 and that's the that's a big problem. 153 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,280 But actually the Bible says in Genesis 2 that God looked down, 154 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,960 he saw Adam and he said, he said it's not good. 155 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:29,080 The first not good thing was that man was alone, so he 156 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:32,440 created him a helper. And so, so in all throughout 157 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,919 Scripture you see this this reoccurring theme, even the 158 00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:38,559 Great Commission that says that we're sorry, not the Great 159 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,559 Commission. When Jesus is questioned and he 160 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,320 says, hey, what's what's the greatest commandment? 161 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,080 He says love your Lord, your God with all your heart, soul, mind 162 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,400 and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. 163 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:51,080 The entire law can be summed up in these things. 164 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,960 So we're not designed to walk in alone. 165 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:57,200 So we're going to challenge you today with with these three 166 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:59,160 things. If you are frustrated with 167 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,360 anything we say because it may come off offensive, that's fine. 168 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,560 Just e-mail us at kurt@nlifechurch.org and we'll 169 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:08,560 make sure that you, I mean, go, go ham, do what you want to do, 170 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,920 and we'll make sure that we get back. 171 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:11,200 To you, the more emails the better. 172 00:09:11,560 --> 00:09:15,040 Yeah, yeah. So and you, I mean, you see it. 173 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,520 Jesus had many followers, many, many followers. 174 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,240 Just had many followers. He went into towns and hilled 175 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:21,000 everyone. Of course people would follow 176 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,240 him. And then there's he had his 12 177 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,120 disciples and he had his, he had his inner 3. 178 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,000 So it's important to have relationships. 179 00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:31,920 Jesus modeled it for us. So we're going to jump into the 180 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:35,160 first one mentor. So Proverbs 1320 it says whoever 181 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:39,000 walks with the wise becomes wise but the companion of fools will 182 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,400 suffer harm. Proverbs 11/14 it says where 183 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,520 there is no guidance a people falls but in an abundance of 184 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,640 counselors there is safety. So what are what are these 185 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,800 mentor relationships look like? They look like coaches, they 186 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,360 look like pastors, they look like teachers, they look like 187 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,880 parents, spiritual parents, anybody who really has something 188 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,880 that they've succeeded in life that really you want in your own 189 00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:06,480 life, that could be your mentor. But there are some, there are 190 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,720 some qualities that you definitely want in these 191 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,120 mentors. A very, very important thing is 192 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,400 to have a same, the same value system. 193 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,720 If you guys don't don't have the same basic set of principles in 194 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,160 your life, it's not going to work out because we can go. 195 00:10:20,160 --> 00:10:22,120 I mean, we've seen it in the past several years where 196 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,680 everybody's truth is different, right? 197 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,240 So those people's your truths have to line up. 198 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,560 That's all what, what is the Bible like in our relationship? 199 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:30,720 What the Bible says, that's what goes. 200 00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:34,160 It's not, it's not how we were raised, how this, this is what 201 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:38,280 does the Bible say about it? So pastors mentor, mentor life, 202 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,080 church life coach, parents, spiritual parents, lots of 203 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,400 options, but they need to be trustworthy. 204 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,960 They need to have integrity. I'm going to say they need to be 205 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,360 a Christian. There's someone that can help 206 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:52,480 you grow into all that God's called you to be and is, is 207 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,960 succeeding in life and something that you hope to be succeeding 208 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,680 in. And there's so many benefits to 209 00:10:57,680 --> 00:11:00,560 having a mentor in your life. And you're never, you're never 210 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,120 too old. You're never too young to have 211 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,200 these people. You never age out of this. 212 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,840 You don't, you never arrive, right? 213 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,000 God has made relationships for you throughout your entire life. 214 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,360 So some benefits are you're going to grow beyond your own 215 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,440 capabilities. We have a lid. 216 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,560 We reach a capacity on our own, but we have other people to come 217 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,960 alongside and point out blind spots, things that we don't see 218 00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,320 in our own lives, though they can help us work through that. 219 00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,800 Another thing is we don't have to learn from our own mistakes. 220 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,000 We learn from other people's mistakes. 221 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,800 So that's huge wisdom beyond our own intellect and our own 222 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,400 experience. And the last, last thing that's 223 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,000 huge, huge, huge is accountability. 224 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,320 We need accountability. We need someone not just calling 225 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,480 us out, but calling us up to what God has for us and, and 226 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,320 telling us what, where, where we're failing and things that we 227 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,840 can improve on. What that means is 1. 228 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,400 We have to have thick skin. We can't say, hey, I want you to 229 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,160 be my mentor. And then when they say, hey, 230 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,840 you're not doing great in this area, get offended and stop in 231 00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:01,160 in that relationship. That's not how this works. 232 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:05,080 So be aware that when you do ask that person to be your mentor, 233 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,360 and I want to let you know that is something that you have to 234 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,320 do. You do need to let them know. 235 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,560 You need to define that relationship and let them know 236 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:13,320 that you would like them to pour into you. 237 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:17,360 At that point, you signed up to be criticized. 238 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:22,880 So in a good way, in a good way, but be aware that you do need to 239 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:27,200 have thick skin for that. And the last thing I want to say 240 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,760 about this specifically being, having a, having a mentor. 241 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,520 Too often we, we see these people and, and we think of them 242 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,480 as just like incredible, incredible people. 243 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:37,800 And they are, they're incredible people. 244 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,240 God's made them. They're, they're incredible 245 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,080 people. But too often we idolize these 246 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,120 human beings, OK. And what ends up happening is 247 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:48,440 when your pastor or your teacher or whoever fails, you just 248 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,520 leave. You give up, you give up hope. 249 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,960 It's too often we see people's pastors fail and they leave the 250 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,600 they leave Christianity all together. 251 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,120 Who's who is your God? Who were you idolizing? 252 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,920 Were you idolize? Were you chasing Jesus? 253 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,880 Were you chasing, chasing the pastor? 254 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,160 So this is something that you do need to hold up in every 255 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:05,480 relationship that we're going to cover today. 256 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,080 You're going to have to be able to forgive, see past it, see 257 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,640 people for people, they're going to fail. 258 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,200 They're going to mess up, but these mentors, they're going to 259 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,200 change your life and call you up and call you to more than more 260 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,160 than you could ever do on your own. 261 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,760 That's also going to make finding a mentor a lot easier 262 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,400 because you need to lower the standards. 263 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,800 Sometimes that's not sometimes when people are dating, they're 264 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,960 like, you need to lift your standards, You need to lift your 265 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:29,760 standards. Mentors like just find someone 266 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,320 who has one thing that they're doing right and you're not doing 267 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,400 it as good as them. That's all it takes it. 268 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:41,000 If they become like this life mentor to you and you guys click 269 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,680 and you bond and you develop a deeper relationship and they can 270 00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,880 give you advice on multiple areas of your life. 271 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,200 Cool. But really the goal is just to 272 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,960 say, what's an area in my life I'm struggling in and who's 273 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:55,760 someone around me who's doing it better? 274 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,480 And guess what? They don't have to be your 275 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,960 mentor for life. You can maybe connect with them. 276 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,760 Maybe you grow on some things and then you move on. 277 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:06,000 Like have him over for dinner a few times if you feel like 278 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,920 you're bonding. Well, if you're clicking, invite 279 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,440 him to give opinions on another area of your life, 1 outside of 280 00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,240 the one that you kind of, you know, propose them being a 281 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:19,320 mentor in the 1st place for you. But I think the more clear you 282 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,240 are about what your expectation is, the easier it is to do. 283 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:26,040 And if you're not putting so much pressure on this person to 284 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:30,360 be all these things to you like God already is to you, then it's 285 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:34,440 really easy to find them. And I think one of the best 286 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:38,360 parts about someone that asked me to be their mentor is they 287 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,400 just took me to lunch one day and said, hey, I'd love to learn 288 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,600 this, this and this from you. Can you teach me that? 289 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,440 That was it. I was like, sure, what does that 290 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,560 look like to you? Oh, do you have like a day, 291 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,960 maybe an hour in the week where we could just connect every 292 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,120 week? And I was like, you know what? 293 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,640 That's hard. That's a sacrifice. 294 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:59,000 But that's what God's called us to love people, right? 295 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,600 And so I think like that, that whole dynamic can seem scary, 296 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,080 but we always say this is you just take people into your 297 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:12,360 everyday life. And if you keep loving God, 298 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:13,720 people are going to see something in you. 299 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,800 And you're, if you're in this room and you're the one looking 300 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:19,400 for a mentor, take that step. Ask him out to coffee, ask him 301 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,400 to lunch and ask him if they'll kind of help you in the area 302 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,520 that you're struggling in. It's so easy and doesn't have to 303 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:30,000 be scary, doesn't have to be lifelong, you can just take it 304 00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:33,880 day by day and if it becomes more cool. 305 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,560 But that's not necessarily the case all the time. 306 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,120 Yeah, the, I think the, the hardest 2 in this list is the 307 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,680 mentor in the, the protege, because there has to be a 308 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,440 conversation at some point where it's hey, will you be this or 309 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:48,120 hey, can can, you know, you define that relationship. 310 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,480 And, and the other thing, the last thing I'll say on that was 311 00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,480 a wise man once told me, he said, just because someone is, 312 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,880 is struggling in one area of their life doesn't mean you ride 313 00:15:57,880 --> 00:15:59,760 off that person as a whole, right. 314 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,880 Just because people have failed in certain areas or whatever the 315 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,080 case is, that doesn't mean that they don't have wisdom in, in 316 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:07,360 that other area. So, so be aware that we have 317 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,200 mentors in our own life. I mean, just Curt and Jace, 318 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,400 amazing mentors, especially people who have been in doing 319 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,840 what we've done for a way longer than us. 320 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,880 It's so nice to have them ask. Them questions about ministry 321 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,680 all the time. Every, every time that they come 322 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:21,800 into town, we stay up the first night or the second night up 323 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,600 until like midnight and I'll let Jasmine take care of the kids. 324 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:28,040 So it's fine. We're going to talk about 325 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,880 marriage in a little bit, but I'm not, I'm not speaking on 326 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:34,080 that. There's there's another group of 327 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,840 people in our lives. There are actually our executive 328 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,520 pastors back home, Nick and Liz to cold. 329 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,800 They're Canadians, but they're good people and they have 330 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:45,760 become, they have become just just, they've taken us in. 331 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,600 They've loved on us. I remember the first year we had 332 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,280 Mila, we were struggling like, what do we do? 333 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,800 How do we both work full time? And Liz, she's like, well, let 334 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,640 me watch Mila on Tuesdays and Thursdays for you. 335 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,400 And and she didn't charge us at all. 336 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,800 She just loved our kid. Then I remember one night 337 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,200 Jasmine and I got in this huge blow up argument. 338 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,119 This is what we like to call maybe like a three day or a 339 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,839 three day fight. You know what I'm doing? 340 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,599 Yeah, we're still, we're still recovering from it. 341 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,760 That's a three-year fight. So, so, so we're on the way over 342 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,160 to their house because we're picking up Mila, our, our, our, 343 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:22,200 our daughter and, and we get in the parking lot or we get in 344 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,160 their driveway and we're there for an hour just like duking it 345 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:28,280 out, like, you know, just going to going out. 346 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,200 Always when you have to be somewhere. 347 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,280 Yep. Like when you have a time that 348 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,480 you told someone you're going to be. 349 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,520 Or like every single time that we've ever gotten in a big fight 350 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:38,880 in the car. It's always when his family's in 351 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,200 town and when we're meeting at a rest. 352 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,920 We're going to lunch. Like don't ever meet at always 353 00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:46,040 dinner at the home always. Because if we ever choose to eat 354 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,160 out, it's. Someone else? 355 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,280 'S home that happens. Yep. 356 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,640 So there we are, we're in the we're in their driveway and 357 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,760 we're just for for an hour. We're supposed to pick up mile 358 00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:57,720 like an hour and a half. And we're before this and and I 359 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,560 look at Jasmine, I was like, Hey, we got to go pick up. 360 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,880 We got to go get mile out of the out of there like this. 361 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:04,240 We shouldn't have done this. So they're they're in the house 362 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,720 waiting for us to come pick up the child. 363 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,040 They have three other kids, They have their own life. 364 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,400 And here we are just yelling at each other. 365 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,760 We need to at least go get our kid and then we can yell at each 366 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:14,200 other in front of our kid. You know, that sounds like 367 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,120 wisdom. So so we I look at Jasmine, she 368 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,520 goes that's fine, but I'm not faking it. 369 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,320 And that was. You know when you're in a fight 370 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:27,000 and then someone comes by and you're like, hi, I was like, we 371 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,640 can go in there, but I'm not putting on a smile just because 372 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,520 it's Nick and Liz. Like I'm going to tell them 373 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,080 what's really happening. And so we walked in and that's 374 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,040 exactly what we did. We're like, we sat on opposite 375 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,920 sides of the living room. And this isn't our first year of 376 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:44,680 marriage after transitioning into ministry. 2 full time jobs 377 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:49,400 at the same time, a new baby and then managing we had family come 378 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,200 in for. I'm just letting you know this 379 00:18:51,200 --> 00:18:54,200 is not the best idea. We lived out of state, so we had 380 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,120 each of our moms back-to-back stay with us for three weeks 381 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,920 straight. Each each. 382 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:04,040 It doesn't matter how much you love someone, that is too long. 383 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:10,200 So they came and back-to-back, both our moms and we were just 384 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,240 at it. I had a list for his mom, He had 385 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,720 a list for my mom. And actually that was really the 386 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,680 main cause of the fights was like family boundaries, like 387 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,160 what we were going to do, what our moms could do, what they 388 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,520 couldn't do, all these things. So just navigate. 389 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,800 We walked in, we said we're so upset right now. 390 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,360 I'm mad at him. This is why he's like, I don't 391 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,560 appreciate this from her. We just went off and they just 392 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,280 with ease. We're like, we've been in your 393 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:36,920 shoes. It's OK. 394 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:38,560 You're going to get through this. 395 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,440 We're going to help you develop a couple boundaries that we 396 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,720 think would would help you guys. And like pretty much don't 397 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,440 stress. As as crucial as all of this 398 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,200 feels right now, it's not a big deal. 399 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,040 You're going to look back and it's going to be funny. 400 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:54,680 And I was like, it will never be funny. 401 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,680 It's not funny. It's still not funny, but they 402 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:00,760 stayed dying. We stayed at their house. 403 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:01,840 We got there at 9:00. We stayed. 404 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:02,520 We stayed. Yeah. 405 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,200 Midnight or 1:00 and they have three kids. 406 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,640 They have their own life, they have their own problems. 407 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,520 And and they said, yeah, they loved on us and they cared for 408 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:12,560 us. And it wasn't they didn't just 409 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:14,800 leave it there. Every Monday, every first Monday 410 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,400 of the month, I meet with Pastor Nick and and he sits down and he 411 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,320 doesn't just say, how's your department doing? 412 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,520 How's the worship team doing? He says, how's your marriage? 413 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,040 How's your walk with Jesus going? 414 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,800 And he holds me accountable. And even when I and I'm honest 415 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,080 with them, right? I don't know, we're struggling 416 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,720 right now and you've been on a date night. 417 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,840 Do we need to watch your kids? What do we need to do to make 418 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,840 this happen? So he's not just going, hey, you 419 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:37,600 have a problem. He's going hey here's a solution 420 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,200 for your problem. And a lot of us have bad deja vu 421 00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,520 from like 15 years ago when people encourage mentors, they 422 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,400 would sit you down and ask you like a list of things that you 423 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:48,920 had told them you were struggling with. 424 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,160 And it was like this checklist where they're like, did you do 425 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:52,720 this? Did you do this, Ron, did you do 426 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,720 this? Did you do this? 427 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,280 You can't do that. You need to read the Bible more. 428 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:00,280 It was just so like, tense. And so this has really taught us 429 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:04,080 that it's just living life with people that simple, Like just 430 00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:05,720 live your life with other people. 431 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,040 And what? And we are better people because 432 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:09,840 of it, right? Like when you have someone in 433 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:13,080 your corner that you know is for you and is pulling you up and 434 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,760 going, hey, here's a blind spot, here's something. 435 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,880 How are you doing in that? Your life is going to be better, 436 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,600 your marriage is going to be better, your friendships are 437 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,160 going to be better, your work's going to be better. 438 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,280 Everything about your life is going to be better, so. 439 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,160 Yeah. And we, we're, we're joking, but 440 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:30,680 we always attribute the like, the love, the joy and the peace 441 00:21:30,680 --> 00:21:34,120 that we have in our marriage on a day-to-day basis comes from 442 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,800 standing on their shoulders. These people who didn't have it 443 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,080 good all the time, that walked through a lot of marriage 444 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:43,680 turmoil, that have fought through struggles with every 445 00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:48,000 area of marriage or every, every relationship in their family and 446 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:51,560 are able to help us say, don't make the same mistakes we did. 447 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,840 Don't do that. Take it to the next level. 448 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,440 Do this instead. And so because of that, we 449 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,880 always say like, man, we never fight over big scenario things 450 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,080 anymore. The first year of marriage, our 451 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,600 biggest fights were always family boundaries, like trying 452 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,120 to navigate that. And then overall we we 453 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:13,920 completely stand on the shoulders of people who go 454 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:18,560 before us and people who have learned the hard way that we 455 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,000 don't have to learn the hard way. 456 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:25,080 And so it's just so beneficial if you listen, it's hard 457 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,800 sometimes. So first one is that mentorship. 458 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,000 So if you don't already have someone pouring into you or 459 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,240 giving you some insight, giving you coaching, calling out a 460 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,720 blind spot in your life, it's time to look for one. 461 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,840 The next one is Pier, which is just like someone on the same 462 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,280 level as you, someone walking in same stage of life. 463 00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,600 This can be a friend. This can even be a good 464 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,240 category. Like if you're dating, this is 465 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:59,360 that realm marriage is in. Peers and possibly even 466 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:01,160 siblings. Even if they're younger, older 467 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,080 than you, most of the times they kind of end up in that same 468 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,440 realm as you, walking through life the way you are. 469 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,240 Two verses that we really love are Proverbs 2717. 470 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,320 It says iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. 471 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,600 Ecclesiastes 4/9 through 12 says 2 are better than one because 472 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,480 they have a good reward for their toil. 473 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,920 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow, but woe to him 474 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,760 who's alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up 475 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,200 again. If two lie together, they're 476 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,960 warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 477 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,560 And it just kind of helps us, you know, gain clarity that we 478 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:38,440 were never created to do life alone. 479 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,800 Like Tyler said, that first problem was God noticing that 480 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,440 Adam didn't have like a counterpart and one thing that 481 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,680 you didn't say last service we when you look at the word 482 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,640 helper, it actually means it the way they say it in the. 483 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,240 Bible, I think it's. Easier. 484 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:55,680 Easier. Or we don't. 485 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:57,720 Do we look like scholars? I don't know. 486 00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:01,640 We're we're worship people, so we don't get invited to these 487 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,960 very much. But so I think it's like ezer 488 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:05,600 easier. Yeah. 489 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,680 So it's, it's oftentimes referred to in the Bible. 490 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,200 That same word is used to refer to the Holy Spirit and it's 491 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,920 helper and so a lot of people think that the s s they designed 492 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,800 him a helper and so that means that that helper submissive. 493 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,560 That's not what it's not secondary. 494 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,320 They're on the same playing field that says to come 495 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:23,360 alongside and to make up for what's lacking because we need 496 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,120 people, right. Like I'm not perfect. 497 00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:28,760 Jasmine is she tells me everyday, but but the things 498 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,680 that like we, we make up for each other's lacking, right. 499 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,240 So it's just a beautiful. Thing, I mean, you guys know 500 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,600 this. If you are married, you know, 501 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:42,240 it's never 5050, it's 4060 or 7030 or you know, like you some, 502 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:45,120 usually some person's a little off and one person is help 503 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,440 compensating, carrying the family or carrying dinner that 504 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,080 day or helping with family stuff. 505 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,960 So it's just like, and that's kind of the case for every 506 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,840 relationship. It's never, you're never going 507 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,000 to find a friendship where it's always a hundred, a hundred. 508 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,000 You guys are both on top. It's just they won't exist. 5050 509 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,640 is just this concept that whatever you don't have, I will 510 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:08,120 make up for, and whatever you have, sometimes I need you to 511 00:25:08,120 --> 00:25:10,680 make up mine, you know? And it's the willingness to do 512 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,320 that. I think something I struggle 513 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:14,760 with was fairness. I have four brothers and 514 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,120 sisters. So it's like you have to get 515 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:18,200 your part. You know what I mean? 516 00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,680 If you don't, someone else is going to get it. 517 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,360 So in our marriage, it was like, I want what's fair, but it's 518 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:24,920 never fair. It's never going to be fair. 519 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:26,800 That's not that's not how relationships work. 520 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,520 Sometimes it's it's you're tired and you need help. 521 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,600 And sometimes it's the opposite. And sometimes both of you tired 522 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,640 and you just got to you got to put those kids to sleep or 523 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,600 something. And I'm an only child so I don't 524 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,560 even know how to spell fair. That's fair you. 525 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:46,040 Learned that the hard way. Now I I feel like the benefits 526 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:49,560 of this friendship relationship, this marriage, a dating 527 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:53,920 relationship when healthy, is that you get to be yourself 528 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,480 completely. It's usually a judgement free 529 00:25:56,480 --> 00:26:01,800 zone. You get equal playing field just 530 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,480 like it's fair not fair. Sorry, I'm not listening. 531 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,760 You're not trying to impress that person and you're not 532 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:10,240 trying to give it. The same field we're we're both 533 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,600 going for the same goal. Hopefully it's fun. 534 00:26:14,360 --> 00:26:18,280 And one of the biggest benefits is that when it's healthy, 535 00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:20,120 you're not keeping score on who's wrong. 536 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,920 And I think that that's important for friendships, for 537 00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,840 anybody that you're trying to do life with, that you are not 538 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,400 keeping the tally. The pain points in this 539 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,000 friendship usually has to do. One of the number one biggest 540 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:37,800 ones is shared values. And if you've ever had a friend 541 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:41,280 that was not a Christian and you're a Christian, you felt the 542 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:46,800 pain and the tension in that. And the frustrating part is that 543 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:50,760 sometimes you click with people chemistry wise, whether that's a 544 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,960 friendship or a dating relationship or even your 545 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,800 spouse. You may have really great 546 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,000 chemistry with your spouse. Some of you guys know that 547 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:02,480 chemistry had nothing to do with the equation that you're in and 548 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,120 none of your friendships have chemistry. 549 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:10,720 And so you already know what it's like to feel that like that 550 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,360 tension. But shared values bring a 551 00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:18,360 chemistry that can't be made-up. If you are two different people, 552 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,920 but you share the same values, you both believe the Bible is 553 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,600 the truth. You both believe God. 554 00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,680 There's only one God and it's Jesus. 555 00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:30,560 It helps formulate the rest of the relationship, even if all 556 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,960 these different parts are different and there's different 557 00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,840 gears. And you, you function one way 558 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,400 and your husband functions another or the guy you're dating 559 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,920 or the girl you're dating has these quirky things to them. 560 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,760 If they truly believe that God, God is Jesus, the, the, the 561 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,640 Bible's real and, and you guys are bull chasing after that. 562 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,640 A lot of those little things iron out. 563 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,200 But the problem is, is that we always go for chemistry. 564 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,880 We go for clickiness, we go for. Personality, it's way. 565 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,840 Easier at the beginning, way harder at the end. 566 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,440 When things really get hard, it is so much harder. 567 00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:09,600 And just while we're on that, Tyler and I always say choose 568 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,280 your heart. Choose your heart because 569 00:28:12,360 --> 00:28:15,600 everything's everything in life can be hard. 570 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,040 Everything worthwhile in life, John Maxwell says. 571 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:20,440 Everything worthwhile in life is uphill. 572 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:22,040 It's a climb. It's not. 573 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,920 It's not handed to you. And so you get to choose what's 574 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,680 hard. It may be harder to engage in a 575 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:31,160 relationship where you don't have a ton of chemistry at 1st 576 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,240 and create a peer relationship that's healthy for your life. 577 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:38,600 But long term it's going to be harder if you go with the 578 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:43,640 cliquey person who's got bad habits, bad influences, treats 579 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:47,000 their spouse badly. The things that don't seem like 580 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:50,280 a big deal in the moment, they rub off on you because you are 581 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,680 like the top five people that you connect with. 582 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,000 Top five. So whether that's your parents, 583 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:59,440 your friendships, your siblings, your coworkers, whoever it is 584 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,160 that you surround yourself with, you become. 585 00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,360 And so it's super important that you choose some people in your 586 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:09,000 circle that are intentional, that have the same values as 587 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:13,000 you, that the second point for this one is just that forgive 588 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,440 freely. Just always forgive. 589 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,200 It's you're going to have a million reasons to hold a 590 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:20,640 grudge. Just be an unoffendable person. 591 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,760 Life is so much easier. We always try to ask ourselves 592 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,760 like, how can we make life a little easier? 593 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,960 Just forgive a lot. Like don't, don't hold it 594 00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:30,000 tightly. It's OK. 595 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,520 People are going to mess up every single day and if you have 596 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,800 that expectation, you don't hold people to this psycho standard 597 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,720 that they can't do. I would say the I've heard it 598 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:44,560 said that we see ourselves through our own intentions. 599 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,040 We see ourselves through our intentions. 600 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,080 We see other people through their actions, right? 601 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,000 We give ourselves all the grace in the world because we know the 602 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,400 kids were up crying all last night and we didn't get any 603 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:58,920 sleep and, and the IT was hard at work this week and, and this 604 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:01,360 person said this and this and this, but but we never give the, 605 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,720 the people the same amount or I'll say this about me. 606 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,400 I never give the same amount of grace to that. 607 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,600 I give myself to other people. That's a problem. 608 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,360 So something that I've started doing is just thinking about 609 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,440 Jasmine situation. Be like, it's probably hard. 610 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,320 It was probably hard being with the kids today. 611 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,440 They're they're terrorists sometime, you know, they're good 612 00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:20,680 kids. They're good kids, but seeing 613 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:22,920 them through the same lens as you see yourself, that's what 614 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,800 that's wild. It's it's, it'll change your 615 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:28,560 life or even praying that God will open, praying that God will 616 00:30:28,560 --> 00:30:31,480 open your eyes to see those people the way that God sees 617 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,560 them. That'll change your life, change 618 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,280 your life. So just to wrap up the peer 619 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,640 category, I remember when I went to school and up until that 620 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,000 point, I had chosen friends completely off of who I clicked 621 00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:51,240 with, who is out as outgoing as I was. 622 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:54,480 I picked people to date off that same metric. 623 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,520 It was like if they were fun, if they like to be the life of the 624 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,360 party, like I would just hang out with them. 625 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:03,440 And I never looked for people that had things that I didn't. 626 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,560 I always look for people who were similar. 627 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,840 And when I got to college, I got a roommate. 628 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,920 We got assigned randomly to rooms and I walked in the room. 629 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,080 Now I get to shoot. Like you get to choose your 630 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,040 dorms everywhere. For some reason at CF and I, 631 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,600 they were not that high tech. So I walked in. 632 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,080 I didn't get to choose who I was with. 633 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:24,640 And when I saw this girl, I was like, we will never be friends. 634 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,280 Like just by the way that she had decorated her side of the 635 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,120 room. I was like, this is if you know 636 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,040 my mom, does anybody know my mom? 637 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,720 That decoration is a big deal. So I walk in and it's just 638 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,240 absolute chaos. Like the girl, literally, she 639 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:46,160 had like prophetic artwork everywhere and it was like the 640 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:50,800 most crazy messy, like just totally not my aesthetic. 641 00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:54,160 Then I walked in and I remember thinking to myself, we'll never 642 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,600 be friends. And I just made that decision in 643 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,520 the moment. I was so wrong. 644 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:04,000 She is my very best friend that I've ever had in my entire life. 645 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,640 We've been friends in January for 10 years. 646 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,080 Nothing has changed. She was my maid of honor. 647 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,880 Hers like so much life came from that relationship. 648 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,720 So much growth came from that relationship. 649 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,520 And I would say the first three years were the hardest and then 650 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,160 the next 7 have been nothing but a breeze and a joy. 651 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:27,000 The first three years took intentionality. 652 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,640 It took a lot of hard conversations. 653 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,120 Like he was saying relationships, anything good is 654 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,120 uphill. So the the reason why it was 655 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,320 hard is because I had a lot of flaws and she had a lot of 656 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,720 flaws. But if we were going to pursue a 657 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:43,960 godly friendship, we were just going to keep working at it. 658 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,520 And we did. And now I'm so thankful that we 659 00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:51,680 did because she's Tyler's friend and she's my family's aunt. 660 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,040 Like all our kids, like they just love them. 661 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,640 Now. We wouldn't have that today if 662 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,120 my mindset in that moment would have been, we're so different. 663 00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:03,200 I don't think this would work. So now I'm just a firm believer 664 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:06,400 that find some friends that have the things that you just don't 665 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:08,040 have. Every time that we leave the 666 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,160 kids with Bianca, the kids throw up. 667 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,800 Twice. She cleans it. 668 00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:19,520 And she does one of the times I thought I was in labor and so we 669 00:33:19,680 --> 00:33:21,400 left. It turns out I just had a 670 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,440 stomach bug. But if you Google labor side of 671 00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:27,440 what's it called symptoms online, they tell you throwing 672 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,840 up is one of them. So I just thought we had it. 673 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,720 And when we got to the hospital, my kids are throwing up with 674 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:36,080 Bianca at home. And the lady said, so no one 675 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,360 else in your house is throwing up. 676 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,160 This is you think this is just labor? 677 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,440 And I was like, no, my daughter is at home right now throwing 678 00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:45,960 up. And she said, honey, you have a, 679 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:49,000 you have a stomach bug. She sent me back. 680 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,200 I was very mad about that. We only had one more week to go. 681 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:57,080 So yeah, just look for look for someone out of your comfort 682 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,800 zone, out of your normal friend pics. 683 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:05,160 Don't be afraid to ask them out to coffee, ask them how they're 684 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,600 doing, DM them. Just whatever it takes to 685 00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,159 initiate and then just get to know someone. 686 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,239 If it doesn't work, again, no hard feelings, just slowly back 687 00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:21,880 up and go your own way, yeah? Yeah, so so mentor pier and the 688 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,480 last one is protege or mincey. It's a disciple. 689 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,239 Whatever it is that it's this is I love what you talked about 690 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:30,480 with baptism, how it's it's a commandment and God gives us 691 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,199 commandments throughout Scripture and relationships are 692 00:34:33,199 --> 00:34:35,320 one of them. The Great Commission in Matthew 693 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:36,920 28. We think that it's always about 694 00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:40,320 says therefore go and make disciples of all nations, 695 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,480 baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Spirit. 696 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:44,880 And we think of that and we're like, yeah, missions. 697 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,199 Let's send people overseas and let's, let's do, let's convert 698 00:34:48,199 --> 00:34:50,320 people to Christianity. And that's beautiful. 699 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,000 It's amazing and it's a necessity. 700 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,440 Discipleship does not mean convert and leave them alone. 701 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:58,720 Discipleship is intentional that the word disciple. 702 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,160 It means if someone is a disciple, they're a learner, 703 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,320 they're a follower or they're an apprentice. 704 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,640 So what are what are these types of relationships look like? 705 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,000 They look like your kids, your grandkids. 706 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,840 If you're a teacher, it maybe it may look like a student. 707 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:12,120 If you're a coach, it looks like a, a, a player in team. 708 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:14,760 If you're, if you have employees, maybe that's what 709 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:16,880 that looks like. Maybe it's just someone younger 710 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:19,600 in your life that goes, you have something that I want. 711 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,680 Can you help me get there? So, so those are those are so 712 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:26,240 big. And, and so again, this is not a 713 00:35:26,240 --> 00:35:28,280 this is not a, hey, you're here on earth. 714 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,600 God created you, and he's had other people pour into your 715 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,400 life, and then now you're a Christian and now you're good. 716 00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,760 God calls you to do it. It's a commandment. 717 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,440 You look in, I think it's Matthew 25. 718 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,160 Yeah. You see the parable of the 719 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:46,480 talents, and you see this master, he gives talents to 720 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,120 these, to three servants. And the first two servants that 721 00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,480 he gives it to, they double what they were given. 722 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:57,080 The last servant takes it and buries it in the ground when the 723 00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,320 master comes back and he says, hey, what's going on? 724 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,080 That last servant that buried in the ground that gave it back to 725 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,080 him, it wasn't favorable for him. 726 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,680 It didn't end well. But to the two that took that 727 00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:10,680 took that talent and and multiplied it, he said, well 728 00:36:10,680 --> 00:36:13,360 done, my good and faithful servant, God has given you 729 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,280 relationships, ships in your life that you are to pour into, 730 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:19,200 to invest in. And these are hard because it's 731 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,800 it means that you have to do some difficult things. 732 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:26,240 You have to have integrity now, you have to be trustworthy, you 733 00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:29,240 have to have good character. So it's, it's not something 734 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:33,600 that's easy because you have to have people that trust you 735 00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,240 enough to, to, to speak into your life. 736 00:36:35,240 --> 00:36:39,640 And, and one thing I will say about this, you're never too 737 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,600 young and you're never too old. You're, there's not an age that 738 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,520 goes, oh, now you're qualified and now you're not. 739 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:46,760 God doesn't call. God qualifies you. 740 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,280 His grace is sufficient. God qualifies you and he calls 741 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:53,520 you to do this. So it's not an easy thing to do. 742 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,840 I think one thing that's that's, that's crazy and it's, it's a 743 00:36:56,840 --> 00:36:59,880 cultural thing in America. I, I believe, but we, we cling 744 00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:04,040 so tightly to our rights, even our biblical rights, We go, this 745 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,880 is I, I can do this. I should be able to do this. 746 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,640 I should be able to whatever. And we're, we're, because of 747 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,040 that, we're, we're not taking up our responsibility. 748 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,280 God calls us to take our rights and lay them down and take up 749 00:37:16,280 --> 00:37:19,800 responsibility for other people. And you see that Jesus didn't go 750 00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:22,640 to the cross with his own sins. Jesus didn't go to the cross 751 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:24,840 with his own shame and guilt. He went to it for us. 752 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,200 He didn't die, just he died in place of us, right? 753 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,000 Like that was our cross. But Jesus said, no, I'm going 754 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,040 to, I'm going to take care of this. 755 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:41,720 And he calls the city the same. I think I'll just say a couple 756 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:47,240 of the benefits of having a someone you're mentoring is when 757 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,200 you're answering God's call on your life, that's part of his 758 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:54,920 call for your life. Two, it's that he's given us 759 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,600 something that he doesn't want us to hide. 760 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,000 And that's I'm going to refer that more to like a gifting or a 761 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:06,120 passion that you have. You know, maybe you love to read 762 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,640 and that is to you, it seems like that's nothing that you can 763 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,600 use. But maybe there's a younger 764 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:15,040 person around you who also loves to read but has never said it 765 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,720 out loud. And maybe both of you would 766 00:38:17,720 --> 00:38:21,200 benefit so much from leading it, you know, reading a a leadership 767 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,720 book that you never read before and meeting once a week at a 768 00:38:24,720 --> 00:38:28,800 coffee shop to talk about it, you know, or I, I think like we 769 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,840 just get so in in a route when it comes to that. 770 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,600 But I always try to think like the conversations that I've had 771 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:36,520 in the last month with people on our team. 772 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:41,960 I am so unaware of how many young, you know, single people 773 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:47,200 want to be pastored, want to be mentored, have a desire to grow 774 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:51,120 a gifting inside of them. And you know, that might be you 775 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,520 in the room today. And I just want to speak to 776 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,360 people who can be mentors. You have gifts and passions that 777 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,760 people want to learn from and it's so important that you don't 778 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,560 hide it. It's so important that you use 779 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,360 it and you may swing a couple times and miss. 780 00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,200 You may ask someone and they're like, I have no interest in 781 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:09,760 that. That's totally fine. 782 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,920 I think that God is so thankful for our effort and for trying 783 00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:15,480 and taking steps of faith. We may not always hit it on the 784 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:21,120 mark and that's OK, but I think that making sure that you leave 785 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,960 a legacy, not just with your family because you're already 786 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,320 going to pour into your kids. You already have a desire to 787 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,800 spend time with them, to do the things they love to do and to 788 00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:33,000 teach them. But carry those desires for 789 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,480 other people as well. Look at people and and notice 790 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,680 gifting in them and ask God to give you his eyes to see things 791 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,520 in other people that you don't see everyday so that you can 792 00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,600 help build his Kingdom. Because someone's going to 793 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,800 benefit just from your relationship, just the way that 794 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:51,320 you see the world, your encouragement, the way you might 795 00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,640 laugh with them. It you don't realize how big of 796 00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:57,880 an impact it really makes. And so when it comes to, you 797 00:39:57,880 --> 00:40:00,640 know, finding someone to to mentor, hopefully if you're in 798 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,560 this room and you realized you need a mentor, you're going to 799 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,720 take a step of action to ask. But if nobody asks you. 800 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,720 Look around you see who, who it is. 801 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:15,280 It may be your niece, it may be a nephew, it may be a sibling. 802 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:18,840 It doesn't always have to fall, you know, outside your family. 803 00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:22,600 It could be in your family. And maybe just that perspective 804 00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,320 will help you pour into your, you know, extended family in a 805 00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,960 way you haven't in a really long time. 806 00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:30,080 So just kind of start asking the Lord, we believe that he's going 807 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:35,080 to show you, but our our challenge today for you is that 808 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:39,680 you're going to look at these three relationships and find one 809 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:44,080 that you can pursue, whether it's maybe you need to be 810 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,680 someone's mentor and someone's going to come up to you and 811 00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,920 they're going to ask you. And the first thing you're going 812 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:51,000 to think is that I don't have time for this. 813 00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:56,040 And I think that in that moment, just give it to the Lord, say 814 00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,440 God like you really do you know how to make all things work 815 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,040 together for the good of those who love you. 816 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,880 And if someone comes up to me, make a decision today in your 817 00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:06,680 head that you're going to try your best to make a little bit 818 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,200 of time because a little bit of time is going to make a very big 819 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,080 difference. Or maybe, you know, you realize 820 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:16,200 that you need a peer or friend, or you've been in the dating 821 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:19,520 zone and you haven't been dating people who with the same values 822 00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,200 as you. You've kind of been lowering 823 00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:24,320 your values to, to make your market wider. 824 00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,440 And maybe today you just realized that it's time to raise 825 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:32,400 that standard and, and to hold your values true for every 826 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,080 relationship that you encounter from here on out. 827 00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:39,400 And like I said, last service, don't cut off the people who 828 00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:40,880 don't meet those standards for you. 829 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:45,480 Love them, speak life over them, but maybe you just don't receive 830 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:48,560 so much what's an influence from them. 831 00:41:49,080 --> 00:41:52,040 Maybe it's just time to look for some friends who are going to be 832 00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:55,040 able to speak into your life and you can actually use what they 833 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,480 say. And then lastly, that you're 834 00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,240 looking for someone who may need a mentor and you might be the 835 00:42:01,240 --> 00:42:03,280 person that they've been looking for for a long time. 836 00:42:04,280 --> 00:42:05,680 That's so good. Thank you for sharing that. 837 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:10,840 Can we just pray for you? Jesus? 838 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,160 We just thank you so much for these wonderful people, God, 839 00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:15,080 that I've gathered here just just to meet with you. 840 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,560 God, thank you so much that you've put that in their hearts. 841 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:18,960 God, that you're drawing them to you. 842 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,440 Jesus, we thank you so much for your word. 843 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,160 We thank you for wisdom. We thank you for people around 844 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,680 us. We thank you for relationships. 845 00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:31,280 God, we just pray for clarity. We pray for wisdom, we pray for 846 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:33,640 direction, we pray for guidance, we pray for confidence in 847 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,480 boldness to approach people and and ask them to be our mentors 848 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,680 or ask them if they want to come along the journey with us. 849 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:43,080 God, we pray. We pray that you give us a great 850 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,880 day, great weather. God, we pray for more of you in 851 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:46,440 our lives. Jesus, we love you. 852 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,480 Open our eyes to the people around us and help us to see 853 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:52,560 them the way that you do. Jesus, we love you. 854 00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,400 We're here for you. Amen.