1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,720 Right now, here's the real question. 2 00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:06,800 What were you into it? I know what I am. 3 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,840 I'm an animal. I need the threat of punishment. 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:13,720 You need somebody else to care, is what you're saying. 5 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:18,640 I need somebody to punish me. You need me to be your Abby, is 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,240 what you're saying? I want you to punish me. 7 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:34,000 Well, well. We need to get like a lifestyle 8 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,840 guru on here that helps us get into like the mental state. 9 00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:43,240 Maria Menounos. Yeah, actually we had, we had 10 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:46,880 the idea of stealing her guests like like over and over. 11 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:51,160 Every guest she has on. But she might be the shortcut 12 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,320 because she's spoken to all of her guests. 13 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,320 She might have gleaned something from them. 14 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:59,080 Like us, we now know about everything from astrology to 15 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:02,040 animal ology. I've learned nothing. 16 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:07,040 I've learned fucking nothing. But I, I was thinking like I, I 17 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,040 went to that psychiatrist, I got my, my prescription. 18 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,040 Oh nice. I haven't gotten you're fixed 19 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,640 yet. I'm sort of fixed. 20 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,240 I went to the doctor yesterday and I was like, I want Vyvanse 21 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:22,280 and and they yeah, being the biggest Yeah. 22 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:26,480 And the doctor lady was like. We just call them doctors. 23 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:32,640 Not me. You can just say doctor, she 24 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:33,880 said. Lady Doctor. 25 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,520 Well, this lady doctor was like, the health insurance doesn't 26 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,440 typically cover Vyvanse. They tried. 27 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,680 They want you to get on cheaper stuff, 'cause it's so expensive. 28 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,920 Yeah, 'cause I got crappy health insurance. 29 00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,120 So she was like, what I can do is I can give you something 30 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,280 where you take, you just take it twice during the day. 31 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:56,120 And so when it starts to teeter off, you can take more of it. 32 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,120 And Abby chimes in. She's like, actually, we really 33 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,600 like Vyvans. I was like, hold on a second, 34 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:03,680 babe, what was that? You said you're going to give me 35 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,440 double the amount of pills for one month and I can take them 36 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,720 whenever I feel like it. Two generics? 37 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,360 Yeah, that equals 1 Vyvanse I think. 38 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:14,840 I think so too, because I have such a like a chopped up day. 39 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,320 I do, I like wake up kind of late and I work until 5:00 and 40 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,360 then I'm like dad in the middle of my day, you know, from like 41 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,840 5:00 to 9:00 I'm like frolicking around being a parent. 42 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,440 And then I come, I, I crawl back down into my dungeon and it 43 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:33,240 would be cool like 8:00 PM, take my second pill and. 44 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:37,040 Are you going to sleep? They only last like 4 hours or 45 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,400 something like that. I would come down here and I'd 46 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,600 be a whirling dervish of creativity. 47 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,240 Yeah. I like that phrase. 48 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,280 I've never heard that. I don't. 49 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,720 I don't really know what it means, but I. 50 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,040 Do I don't know, My mom used to say that all the time. 51 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:49,560 She'd be like, it's probably racist. 52 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,880 Then. Probably. 53 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,480 You're like one of those crazy whirling dervishes. 54 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:57,680 Peanut made me second guess myself when I was like, I 55 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,200 haven't seen you in a coon's age. 56 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,640 He was like, what? Now? 57 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,480 She was like, you need to check if that's racist. 58 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,160 I was like, I hadn't even considered it. 59 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,440 But she would always tell me on Friday she'd be like, now 60 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,680 tomorrow morning, we're going to wake up and we're going to be a 61 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:12,640 whirling dervish. We're going to clean this entire 62 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,400 house. And I'm like, I don't really 63 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,840 know what that means. She's like, I think they're 64 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,200 people that, like, spin around. And that's what I imagined 65 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,240 myself. Doing. 66 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,240 As I dust the shelves, I'll spin around. 67 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,040 It's a bad word for people from Tasmania. 68 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,280 Oh my God. On a whirling dervish. 69 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:31,080 Yeah, yeah. That's cool, derogatory or 70 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,720 something like that, but it's just one of those. 71 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,640 Things now you're going to pass that to your kids. 72 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,240 Yeah, Especially once I look it up and see if it's racist. 73 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:41,920 If it is, I'll be like, nobody's going to call you on this. 74 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,160 You'll be able to slip it in. Oh my. 75 00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:47,160 God and just whip this out really quick and see if oh it is 76 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:51,000 a oh. What? 77 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,240 Look it up, Jamie. They're members of the the 78 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,520 Mevlevi Order in Turkey. OK. 79 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:03,680 Let's see, whirling dervish offensive Reddit. 80 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,240 Yeah, don't go to Reddit, dude. They'll tell you anything's 81 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,280 offensive. No. 82 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,800 Good. It says, well, not generally 83 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,000 offensive. Using it to basically describe 84 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,200 them as like a touristic show can be disrespectful to the 85 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:28,040 spiritual significance of the the Whirling Dervishes, but I 86 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,800 think you're in the clear. OK, Yeah, what if I'm just using 87 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:34,080 it for like an overall like the amount of stamina I'm going to 88 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,760 have? Because they seem to be. 89 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,000 A compliment. I think so too, yeah. 90 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,480 I want the energy of a whirling dervish. 91 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,680 I think they would take that as a compliment. 92 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,360 It's cool, I'm going to use that now. 93 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,080 OK, now that we've I've. Cleared it so far from a 94 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:50,480 whirling dervish because I took a melatonin last night. 95 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:56,120 Big mistake. I don't know, It's like they 96 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,920 don't make me fall asleep any faster and then I wake up just 97 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:03,880 like, but a little bit of a whirling dervish. 98 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,520 I woke up and it was thunderstorming, so I sprinted 99 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,600 to the basement and there's more water. 100 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,160 Did. Laps did laps to wake up. 101 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,200 Yeah, just a quick splash around on the face. 102 00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:17,960 Every, every irresponsible parent I know, they go, oh, I 103 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,760 love melatonin 'cause it just knocks my kids out 'cause like 104 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:25,480 doing putting your kids to bed is the worst part of your day as 105 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,840 a parent. And I've always felt like 106 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:31,120 parents that rely on it like they just melatonin their kid up 107 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,320 every day, like after dinner. I think it's kind of fucked up 108 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,640 to mess mess with your kids brain chemistry like that. 109 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,400 So. Binky and some bourbon. 110 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:44,040 Well, I there was instances where I was like, they need to 111 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:46,880 go to bed bad. And so I will give them 112 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:50,520 melatonin here and there. And I've stopped doing it 113 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,600 because it just turns them into that. 114 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,360 Like you know how you wake up and you're like, oh, I'm like 115 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,160 groggy for a kid. They don't understand why 116 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,800 they're groggy. So they just wake up full with a 117 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,560 gut full of hate and they wake up like just mad at the world 118 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,520 and you. Know how I woke up like a like 119 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,480 an angry child? Yeah. 120 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,880 I have the worst fucking morning of all time. 121 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,680 My parents would just hold my nose and cover my mouth and then 122 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:17,560 I'd just wake up the next day. There was a fucking kid that 123 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,920 died at a daycare doing that like. 124 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,240 His breath. No, not well, technically his 125 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,600 press held. Yeah. 126 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:26,360 They they were like, you need to take a nap. 127 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,520 He wasn't taking a nap. So they just like, I think they 128 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:30,520 just piled up stuff on top of them. 129 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,240 They laid them face down and then they just they like wrapped 130 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:38,240 them in sheets and then until he died there. 131 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,240 I get on Reddit now and it's horrific stories like that. 132 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,920 Like anytime I see like a kid that gets injured doing 133 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:48,120 something, it's it hits different when you're a parent 134 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:53,160 and they were like the, that Hyundai, Have you seen that 135 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,160 Hyundai accident where like a kid got crushed by like a 136 00:06:56,160 --> 00:07:01,360 mechanical 3rd row Abby's? Like we, we need the, I need a 137 00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,200 new car. Her car's like 10 years old or 138 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:08,080 something like that and she wants some fucking mom mobile 139 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:12,520 where like moms don't want minivans anymore because that's 140 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:15,400 what, 90s moms? They want big SU VS. 141 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,760 Yeah, she wants like a troop transport carrier from Vietnam. 142 00:07:18,760 --> 00:07:22,360 She wants this giant ass like expedition or something. 143 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,760 You guys have two kids. Yeah, what the hell does she 144 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,680 need to tote around? You could get a coupe be fine. 145 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,760 Honestly, we could, yeah. I think my favorite vehicle 146 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,840 we've had was my old Civic, and it fit everybody just fine. 147 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:41,320 But I'm scared, I'm scared. Those big ass cars, they got all 148 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,640 sorts of like mechanical. In the back of your van. 149 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,240 Empty van. There's nothing mechanical in 150 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:49,160 the back of that van. Nothing back there that can 151 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:50,440 crush them. Nothing. 152 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:53,680 And I don't know like some of these those. 153 00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:56,640 Seatbelts that could cut off airflow or anything. 154 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,000 Nothing like. That no headrests that they 155 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:04,280 could bang their head on. Kids do something so annoying in 156 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,120 my car right now. It's such a like a funny little 157 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:10,960 way to fuck with with somebody. But Abby's car headrests, like 158 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,760 they, they ratchet like you can push them forward to adjust 159 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,920 them. And so when I'm not in the car, 160 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:17,720 they push mine all the way forward. 161 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,520 And I'll sit like this for like an hour and then I'll realize, 162 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,720 like, did somebody fuck with my headrest God? 163 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,600 And they'll be like, yeah, it's fucking funny. 164 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,040 It's so funny. If you got in a crash, the 165 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,919 airbag would just. It would probably make your head 166 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,679 pop off. Yeah, and that would the airbag 167 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,080 would crush my lower jaw and then they would have a chinless 168 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,840 dad. And I'd say with this hairline, 169 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:44,000 no chin, you're going to have a fucking a worm of a dad and 170 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,520 that's your fault. They'd be like that looks the 171 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:52,920 same to me. What if an airbag shot all your 172 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:54,880 hair off though? You know what? 173 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,640 That, that, that would be really scary. 174 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,800 I was talking with Abby. I was like, I think it would be 175 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:06,320 really funny because, you know, as time goes on, I you go, oh, 176 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:09,400 fuck, we picked the totally wrong name for this podcast. 177 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,400 I think this podcast name sucks. I think it would be really funny 178 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:17,560 to go get a hair transplant and then just name it like, guys, 179 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:20,000 it's no longer Red Fables. OK? 180 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,600 Or at what? That doesn't make any sense. 181 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:25,120 My hairline's perfect. I would go. 182 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,960 It would just be like normal. For that show you should just 183 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:31,320 get a big wig that goes really deep. 184 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,600 The Steven Seagal the. Beatles. 185 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,840 You get the Steven Seagal thing where it's just like, felt it 186 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,680 goes. Down to here Tattoo tattoo. 187 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:43,480 Hairline, tattoo hairline for guys that have like kind of thin 188 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:45,560 ones, they like kind of feel like no, just get it all the way 189 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:50,880 down, like way down here. What's that called God where it 190 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,040 goes down in a point? A widow's peak. 191 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,520 I want the Vegeta. I want the Vegeta. 192 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:59,280 Hairline Tattoo? Yeah, that would be awesome. 193 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,880 My brother has a widow's peak. Why didn't I get graced with 194 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,920 that? I don't know if it's always a 195 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,360 grace. I've seen that recently, dude, 196 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,200 look in the the looks maxing world. 197 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,320 You know, when we were when the whole world was all about that, 198 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,280 I was, I was like looking into it and like one of the biggest 199 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:18,320 downsides of hairlines, like people were talking about, hey, 200 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,360 you have a receding hairline. At least it's not a widow's 201 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,360 peak. Is that bad? 202 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,720 Is a widow's peak bad? I think it's such a you look 203 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,120 like a vampire that's. Cool. 204 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,760 Yeah, I, I don't know, you know, I think. 205 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,080 Dracula's always getting pussy. People want to look more uniform 206 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,080 or something these days. You look at Hollywood, you don't 207 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:38,320 see any widow's peaks anymore. What does the law have one? 208 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:42,040 Or maybe he's just got weird. No, he's got the receding that 209 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,560 turns it into like a widow's peak, but it's more like a 210 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,600 double cul-de-sac or something. False widow's peak? 211 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,520 Yeah, I'm pretty sure my grandpa had a widow's peak. 212 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:53,280 I think Widow speaks. That's a cool look. 213 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,920 Then again, what's weird about looks maxing is that they have 214 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:02,080 like a like a homogenized view of what they think of. 215 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:07,040 An objective scale. Yeah, there's like a spreadsheet 216 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,840 where they go like you have to look like this. 217 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,400 And I'm like, I would kill to just look like Willem Dafoe. 218 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,400 Like that's my ideal if I could look like I want to look like a 219 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,320 freak, but also a guy where you're just like like if, if 220 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:21,040 Willem Dafoe was in a crowd, your. 221 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,840 Dreams might be closer. No, I'm too like baby faced, you 222 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:27,120 know what I mean? Like I want to look like. 223 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:31,360 Good interest, I think you have your own unique look. 224 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,400 I want when you see me in a crowd, I want you to go. 225 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,840 Like, I can't take my eyes off that guy. 226 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,520 I don't know if he's like a proto human. 227 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,320 I don't know what's going on, but I've never seen a human that 228 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,480 looks like that. You're, I think, on the 229 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,880 opposite, where you look like a guy from the future. 230 00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,040 You look like you're from another planet. 231 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,360 Yeah. They want the humans from 232 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,240 Wall-e. No, no, no, not that kind of 233 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,920 future. I'm just saying, like you, I 234 00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,920 don't think people look at you and go caveman. 235 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:00,960 They look at you and they're like, he's hiding something. 236 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:05,200 He's got a lot of secrets. Like, I don't know, I think you 237 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:09,000 look very wise. Good, because I've been working 238 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,440 on my my hand steeple. I do that a lot. 239 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,240 Is that apparently? That helps. 240 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,960 When you do that and then hands behind the back, I think is 241 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,880 also. I love walking around, hands 242 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,000 behind the back. I think it makes me look very, 243 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,280 very wise and like I know something. 244 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,760 If you're going around a museum, it just makes it look like I'm 245 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,520 not just staring at the breasts on all the paintings. 246 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,320 I'm like what? I don't like about the hands 247 00:12:31,320 --> 00:12:33,120 behind back. Have have you heard this trend 248 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,000 of of catching print? No women have devised a meth. 249 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,200 It's not women. Actually the original tutorial 250 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,400 video is a 4 minute video from a gay guy describing how you can 251 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:50,040 determine a guy's penis length based on the front of his pants. 252 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:54,920 Oh, and hands behind back it is you are such an authority figure 253 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,960 that way, but you're really leaving the print open for full 254 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,400 interpretation. I think whatever women are doing 255 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,280 here, this gay guy, this guy should be you should be haunted 256 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,040 down. I think. 257 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,480 OK, I don't want to say that on the podcast, but. 258 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:11,240 Show cock confidence if you have hands behind the back, even if. 259 00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:13,680 But what if they're catching print and they're accurate? 260 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,800 OK, I feel like this this should be illegal. 261 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:19,600 This is a breach of my personal space to look at my penis area. 262 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,840 Hates more than hearing about some new thing called catching 263 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:27,880 print because it's just. But I've devised a method that, 264 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:32,200 like, I think I can tie a rubber band around my knee and then and 265 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,520 then tie the end of the rubber band around the head of my penis 266 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,480 and pull my penis down my my thigh. 267 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,120 And so then if someone's catching print, they'll be like, 268 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:46,200 whoa, he might be a lot way longer than he actually is. 269 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,520 Yeah. Purple in the face. 270 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,080 Yeah. My my. 271 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:54,400 My legs sticking out of my shorts is blue on one side. 272 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,120 It's lost all circulation. I. 273 00:13:56,360 --> 00:13:59,880 Actually wore shorts that day and your penis head is purple. 274 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,680 Little bit of blood going down the line. 275 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:09,480 Guys from the future, yeah. Yeah, but the links I have to go 276 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,760 to because these people have figured out stuff that they 277 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,440 shouldn't be figuring out. OK, Yeah. 278 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,760 What whatever happened to the just the simple grace by pantast 279 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:20,000 or something? Yeah, and what happened to just 280 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:24,280 the mystique of like the theatre of the mind just assuming what 281 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,800 it looks like? The unknown. 282 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,760 I think it's way cooler to look at me and just assume I have a 283 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,400 big penis than actually like, verifying with your eyes and 284 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,920 your science and your technology and your catchers. 285 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,280 Seeing my penis or measuring it or. 286 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,240 Yeah, I know you see what it looks like, but wait until you 287 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:44,960 feel how it is, OK? It's actually about the motion 288 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,840 in the ocean at the size of the wave. 289 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,360 Yeah. Yeah, having little catch 290 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,120 phrases like that can do wonders if you guys out there have a 291 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,840 micro penis or something. Hey, dear audience, we know you 292 00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,960 guys are probably wanting some catch phrases. 293 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,920 Yeah, I can't think of any others. 294 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:04,560 I don't need them. Yeah. 295 00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,920 I just need a. You might want to stand back a 296 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:13,160 couple feet. Like you're about to open a cage 297 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,680 with a dangerous animal in it Back up. 298 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:19,560 You ever see one of those snakes in a thing of peanuts or 299 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:20,720 whatever? Peanuts. 300 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:27,000 Yeah. I've got nothing, nothing going 301 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,560 on down there. That catching print thing, I saw 302 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:33,800 it and I was like, whoa, I hope this video doesn't get out. 303 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,400 And then I got on TikTok the next day and it's all anybody 304 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,400 was talking about. I was like, no, no, no, he's 305 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,600 gone, no. Please. 306 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,040 God, yeah. So I've started wearing my kilt 307 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,760 a lot. I've started wearing lots of 308 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:50,280 crazy patterns on the front of my pants because immediately. 309 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:54,440 Patterns, yeah. Yeah, I have a pants with the 310 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:58,000 pattern of a large penis going numb in front shadow. 311 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,440 Yeah, no, I was like, let's verify if this is true. 312 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,600 I went in the bathroom, looked down. 313 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,440 I was like, oh God. Oh God, it doesn't work. 314 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,200 Fuck, what do you you just tell me what does that even mean? 315 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,160 Catching. Just look at the penis and see 316 00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:14,280 if there's. OK, there's if you're looking at 317 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:18,280 like the profile of the front of a pair of pants with a zipper on 318 00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:24,440 it, the the way that the zipper folds is indicative of the penis 319 00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,840 and balls behind it. And he goes through a full and 320 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,400 he this is the worst part. He equates it to women's breast 321 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,880 size, as if guys ever look at women's closed breasts and see 322 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,760 how big they are. That's grotesque that even 323 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,400 assuming we would do that and objectify women that way. 324 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:44,160 I see a woman with A cups and a woman with double GS next to 325 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,160 each other and I go. I wonder which one has the big 326 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,520 breasts. I can't wait to get the bra off. 327 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,840 I have no idea which. I go it's more about the milk. 328 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:54,560 Yeah, it's more about the motion of the A cups and the more about 329 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,320 the. Frothiness and the milk and the 330 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:00,520 size of the mountain. Yeah, and anyways, this guy 331 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,240 breaks it down like if if the front of the pants looks like 332 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,839 this, this is an A cup. If the front of the pants looks 333 00:17:05,839 --> 00:17:08,240 like this is AB cup. And most guys are in between, 334 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,400 B&C says. I'm not going to Twitchcon this 335 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,920 year. Yeah, dude, there's going to be 336 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:17,240 some fucking you. Stand sideways real quick, I'm 337 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:21,599 at my back to every wall. Yeah, take the picture of my 338 00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:25,720 back. Yeah, now when I do photos with 339 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,480 viewers, I'm going to be turned around. 340 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,720 Yeah, actually you can tell from the underside too. 341 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:36,760 My legs are going to be closed. That's a romance. 342 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,760 Why? If your pictures are just like, 343 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:48,920 hey, yeah, You know, we were. Me and Dugo were workshopping 344 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:50,520 some merch. We were going to get a custom 345 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,480 Fanny pack with a slot for a penis. 346 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:55,560 So you can put your penis inside the Fanny pack for whatever 347 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,960 reason, you know, just to let it breathe. 348 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:00,320 You know, if you just want to uncage it first. 349 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:03,680 Scary. Yeah, but that might be able to. 350 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,840 You try catch and print on that. We got our fucking. 351 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,600 We got our penis out. When are we going to do some 352 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,480 merch workshop? I got this idea for a belt. 353 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,480 It's very similar idea I. Don't mean to fucking bring it 354 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,960 up in front of the people, but we talked in January about doing 355 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:21,320 it in quarter one. It's the it's fucking May or 356 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:22,360 it's April. I'm sorry. 357 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,240 We never. We never did it. 358 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,960 Well, that's why, you know, it's just good to bring it up every 359 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:31,720 once in a while. That's the extent of the work we 360 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,960 do is like we talk about maybe doing it in the future, but no, 361 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:39,200 we need to sit down and do some awesome, awesome. 362 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:43,760 Shockingly free. You just tell me a day, but 363 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,240 here's an idea. I already posted this on Twitter 364 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:50,760 once, but belt shaped like a penis on the part that you tuck 365 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,880 into the thing. That way when you're out of 366 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:57,720 urinal, you pull it out and you hold your penis behind it. 367 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:02,840 That way in peripheral vision, you know, you get its skin tone 368 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,000 matched. Yeah, it looks like you have a 369 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,600 big penis. Also if I could but. 370 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,960 It only works from one side, so you always have to go all the 371 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:17,480 way at the end of the urinal. Could I make an adjustment to 372 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:21,080 this design? The backside of the belt must be 373 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,160 liquid resistant because there is a chance, since you're 374 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,000 holding them parallel with each other, that your stream of piss 375 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,320 glances off the back of your belt and you don't want it to be 376 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,680 saturated. Well, yeah, in a keen eye, if 377 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:40,360 they were like going to look, they'll see penis belt and then 378 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,960 they'll see the piss stream coming way before the belt ends. 379 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,040 Yeah. I'm assuming you know if you 380 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,880 don't have a strong stream. Yeah. 381 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,960 If you're a leaker. Is there like a is there like a 382 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,600 exercise you can do to make sure you're not a leaker for the 383 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,160 folks at home that are? I'm just wondering I. 384 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,840 Don't really know what kegels are but maybe some. 385 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:10,240 OK, male kegels floor exercise. Because there was a time where I 386 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,640 used to be able to blast the porcelain off the inside of that 387 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,520 toilet and I'm just saying it's weaker now. 388 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,880 I'm not saying I'm a dribbler, but I'm somewhere in between 389 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,160 that and a full on pressure Walker. 390 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,680 I think if you just drink a lot of liquids, every time I piss I 391 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,800 have a full piss so it's always blasting. 392 00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:27,360 Really. I never just piss a little. 393 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,440 I have one of these every two days. 394 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:35,720 That's the only liquid I drink. I'm a little worried about I 395 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:41,520 think I'm just like the most hydrated guy ever but I don't go 396 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:44,720 to doctors so there's a chance I don't know. 397 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:51,000 Like what's normal amount of piss 10 times a day every? 398 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,280 Hour. No, not every hour. 399 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,000 Once a you know, like a couple times a day. 400 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,080 I'd say like 3 * a day. It's pretty normal. 401 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,520 Maybe 4. How many times do you piss? 402 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:07,160 I know once an hour, every waking moment of the day. 403 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:14,160 Christ, probably like, that's crazy. 13 times a day. 13 That's 404 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,360 more than like so much sleep. How about how many times do you 405 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,400 have a bowel movement in a day? Twice. 406 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,880 You poop twice a day. Yeah, three times if something's 407 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:27,880 crazy. That's like a fetish at that 408 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,400 point, dude. Fetish wrong with you? 409 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,760 Yeah, it's I. Mean I just poop if I got a 410 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,160 little bit of poop in me Well, this weekend I. 411 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,000 Go poop that much dude. You're into it at that point, 412 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,600 dude. No, no, no Fetish was yesterday 413 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:45,040 and the day before I had a I had a weekend where I went to 414 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,000 Nashville and forgot that I'm old and my body doesn't work the 415 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:54,640 same so I drink a lot of beers and I ate mainly Jack's pizzas 416 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:59,120 and smash burgers and I poop probably 20 times in the last 417 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,080 two days. That's offense. 418 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,400 But every time it was just like. He's loving it. 419 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:09,040 Yeah, it wasn't like really pooping and it burned and I 420 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:13,960 didn't have any wet wipes or anything, so I don't want to get 421 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,560 into too much gruesome detail, but I try to wet a little bit of 422 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,960 piece of toilet paper and then it would shred up on the asshole 423 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:22,440 and then there'd be paper everywhere and be itchy and 424 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,560 burning. But. 425 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,400 That's gross. I digress. 426 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,840 I don't know what you can really do about that. 427 00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,400 Paper towel maybe, but then you have to throw it in the trash 428 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:35,080 can and. If you're bringing paper towels 429 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:39,760 into the equation, you need. You need to get in the shower 430 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:44,520 afterwards, yeah. Have you ever had a shits of 431 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,800 every you just turn on the shower and just hop in? 432 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,720 You're like, I don't, I don't care how much I wipe. 433 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:54,240 There is no like cleaning like like it's become aerosolized or 434 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,280 something like it feels like it's creeping up your body. 435 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:59,200 Yeah, it's certainly cost me a lot of money in toilet paper. 436 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,360 Yeah, might as well just get the hose. 437 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:04,400 Yeah. I've started doing psyllium 438 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:05,560 husk. Oh my God. 439 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,200 Like Metamucil? I don't know what what do. 440 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:12,400 What are you saying? These things you take. 441 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:16,640 You take a scoop of Metamucil. Is Metamucil like Mucinex? 442 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:22,280 No, no, Metamucil. It's, it's like a, it's like a 443 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,040 just a fiber supplement and you put it into a glass and then you 444 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:29,840 put like 12 ounces of water. You drink it and in your stomach 445 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,920 it balloons up, it gets huge and then it just moves through and 446 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,400 it it when you poop, when you poop it out, it will clean you 447 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,600 out and you won't even have to fucking wipe on God. 448 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,680 You'll do one wipe just because you're civilized, but you won't 449 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,480 have to do a second one. You'll do that one wipe. 450 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,760 It'll be completely clean toilet paper and you'll say job's done 451 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,560 and you'll walk down you're. Going to get overconfident. 452 00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:54,000 You're going to start not doing that. 453 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,360 First wipe no, I'll do that first wipe because it's just 454 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,080 it's baked into the human condition. 455 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,200 Once you sit down you you always have to wipe after pooping. 456 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,560 You're a psycho if you just go with hopes and dreams, hoping 457 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:08,480 that you don't have to wipe, and then you don't even do a tester. 458 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:13,880 I'm not an animal. Yeah, not an animal, you know. 459 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:15,960 Awesome. Yeah, I know. 460 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,400 You should try that stuff out. If you're over the age of 30, 461 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,480 you should definitely try that. I've been seeing colorectal 462 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,920 cancer that's on the rise. Guys, It's taking us out. 463 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,040 It's because all of our food sucks. 464 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:27,600 Our food's really bad in this country. 465 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,120 This guy was just eating smash burgers and diarrhea or 466 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,600 something like that on his little trip. 467 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,120 That's not good for your tum tum. 468 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,760 There's no vegetables in that. Is that cool? 469 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,440 It it's this has turned into like the most old man episode 470 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,160 yesterday. We need to be checking each 471 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:48,080 other's colons more. Yeah, we need to just keep it 472 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,080 clean down there. How do you even check for cola? 473 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,240 Cola, you know I'm going. To. 474 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:57,040 Tell you health insurance super expensive and I'm sure a lot in 475 00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,440 in this country it's almost kind of an issue so if you guys want 476 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,160 to go ahead put a camera up your ass take a picture send it into 477 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,400 the e-mail for. The podcast we'll. 478 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:08,360 Examine it, We'll examine it, see if you have any polyps or 479 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:11,040 anything. That's just our duty to our. 480 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,920 Duty. To our audience, to our This is 481 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:19,080 only for patrons, of course, but yeah, we'll give you a full 482 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,760 colorectal exam free of charge. Yeah. 483 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:30,160 And we'll, we'll rank them. You could win cash prize if you 484 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:34,440 have the cleanest asshole. You know, they have instead of 485 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,040 like a colonoscopy where they put your ass up in the air and 486 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,600 then pump you full of air and then go in there and look with a 487 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,160 little a doc on. Yeah, dude, they, I thought. 488 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:45,440 They just put a camera straight up. 489 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,600 No, no, no, first you take like you can't eat anything for like 490 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,240 a day and you take like this weird magnesium thing that makes 491 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,560 you just shit water and and then once you're completely cleaned 492 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,440 out, you go and they put your ass way up in the air. 493 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,680 They put your head down on the pillow. 494 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:07,080 How far and way up, dude, all the way up like a yoga pose. 495 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,600 That asshole is straight up in the air. 496 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,080 And then they and then they do they. 497 00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:12,240 See your penis while you do this or do you get to that's? 498 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:15,160 What they fucking hold on to to make sure you don't back away 499 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:19,640 from the the fucking Doc Ock arm that they have Doctor 500 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,480 completely. You under or something or? 501 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,560 You maybe I pay extra so I say like. 502 00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:30,520 I can take it. I go, give me those anesthetics 503 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:32,720 to go. I'll use those on my free time 504 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,080 when I'm watching a movie or something. 505 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:39,640 But then they fill your entire body up with air, they blow you 506 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,200 up, and they blow your intestines up like it's a 507 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,040 fucking balloon. Like a party animal. 508 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,240 Whether they just blow on your thumb or something. 509 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:52,800 No, I they may spread your pudgings and blow in there No, 510 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,040 they take like an air compressor, like they're filling 511 00:26:55,040 --> 00:27:00,480 up a bike tire and they. Can't be the medical procedure. 512 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,720 Well, they have names for it like medical names for it, but 513 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:07,000 it's essentially a bike pump and they fill up your ass and then 514 00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:09,120 they have their doc Ock arm with a camera. 515 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,760 It goes in there and looks around. 516 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:16,360 But if that's too invasive for you, if you're not, if you, if 517 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,640 you're, if you're a little bit vanilla and that doesn't sound 518 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,160 appealing, there is an alternative that I found. 519 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,480 And it's a little pill. And by little, I mean it's huge. 520 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,760 It's like the biggest pill you've ever seen, but it has a 521 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:32,480 camera in it and you swallow it and it takes pictures of every 522 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:36,360 like 30 seconds. I think it takes a photo as it 523 00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:39,920 goes down and and then you poop it out, you fish it out of your 524 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,640 poop and then you send it into the lab and they get all the 525 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,360 images off of it and they send it to you. 526 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,320 And so you get a full line up of of images. 527 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,400 You can like make like a hyperlapse of going through your 528 00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,040 whole body. And I wanted to get one of 529 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:56,440 those, buy one, get the images and then make that like a. 3D 530 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,720 environment I. Was going to say like a a loop 531 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,360 like a GIF or something that I could play as like a be right 532 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:06,040 back screen or something on on stream just me like eating the 533 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,960 camera and then it. Survives the whole. 534 00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,560 Yeah, it survives the whole trip. 535 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:12,880 It's made out of like hard plastic. 536 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,880 That's Jesus Christ. I don't actually don't know 537 00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:21,280 which one's worse. Well, but I'm worse. 538 00:28:22,120 --> 00:28:25,400 I don't, I don't like the pill way because I don't I don't get 539 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,400 my ass put up in the air with a bike pump in it. 540 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:29,960 Yeah, but you can probably do both. 541 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:34,120 Yeah, I like, does the camera, does it keep taking pictures 542 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,160 like right after you poop it out, like up from the toilet 543 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,480 bowl? Yeah, it gets a picture of me. 544 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,760 The last picture is me with fucking shit all over my face 545 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:50,120 holding. The pill. 546 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,920 Oh shit, I forgot about this thing. 547 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,960 The audio recording. Come on, come. 548 00:28:56,160 --> 00:29:01,400 On get out, get out. I've got to see how big that 549 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,920 pill is. Dude, it looks like it's like 550 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,520 that. It's like a big swallow. 551 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,280 I think I. Think it's stuck stuck. 552 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:09,200 Somewhere. What do you mean? 553 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:11,520 Dude? I've had fucking bigger bites of 554 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,080 of food. Just regular food. 555 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,920 Breaks down seeing the pill just goes through your whole body is 556 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,600 a big pill. Yeah. 557 00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,960 I think I'm just going to like, I just think I'm not going to 558 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,880 get colon cancer and I'm just going to risk it. 559 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,960 You and everybody else in this generation, if you guys weren't 560 00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:32,320 so fucking uptight and would just put your ass up in the air 561 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:35,040 and get filled up by a doctor, you would. 562 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,240 Be you'd be. Alive and you'd be safe. 563 00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:42,400 I think I just need a little bit of like, not foreplay, but I 564 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,000 need to find a doctor that I'm comfortable with for a little 565 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:50,600 bit and like break bread. Yeah, actually I don't want to 566 00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,400 know. I just kind of want it to be. 567 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,240 Yeah, yeah, I guess I don't. Even want to see who's doing it, 568 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,600 'cause, 'cause then I don't want to, like, see them go through 569 00:29:58,600 --> 00:29:59,960 the whole thing. And then I'm at the grocery 570 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:03,400 store and I look over and he's like, he lives in the same town 571 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,280 as me. Just run into him again. 572 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:09,120 Yeah. He's just like, I've. 573 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:13,320 I've been in all up in you. I've been so fucking far up in 574 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:15,040 you. Yeah. 575 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,680 I guess you're probably right. I remember I had to get a 576 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:22,920 physical in high school for soccer and it was like the first 577 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:25,880 time I've been to a doctor and forever and his the one doctor 578 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,240 in the town and he was like, I remember you when you were a 579 00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,520 little kid and like, oh God, he's like, now take your pants 580 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,600 off, let me hold your balls. And he kept trying to make like 581 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,320 jokes and be like, well, this part's a little awkward and I 582 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,240 just want to be like shut off, please. 583 00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:43,240 Just he was just being too casual about it. 584 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,640 I didn't like that he he's like, you've really grown up. 585 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,200 I'm like, what are? You stop. 586 00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,520 Yeah, Please stop. Please, please please just stop. 587 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,200 Let's just blitz through this part of the appointment without 588 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:57,120 you saying a fucking word and then we can get back to small 589 00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:00,120 talk once my penis is back in my pants. 590 00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,880 I print checked you when you walked in and I'm not surprised 591 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,080 by the smallness of your penis so that your pants are down. 592 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,560 I'm a doctor. Yeah. 593 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,360 Yeah, I know. I don't want to go to a doctor, 594 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:18,000 however he can't make me. I really do. 595 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,400 I'm going to get a full. We'll check in some point. 596 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,200 We'll. When was the last time you were 597 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:28,600 at a doctor? For a non-emergency, yeah, 598 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,320 probably. When that guy touched my balls, 599 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,320 I've like only been to like if I like when I broke my hand, I 600 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:39,480 went or I go to an optometrist every year, but they don't. 601 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,840 We need to start offering health insurance through this this 602 00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:44,960 podcast. I have health insurance. 603 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:45,720 I've been paying for it. Oh, you. 604 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,080 Just don't go to the doctor. Three years. 605 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,160 Dude. Yeah, I'm just like. 606 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,720 Heavy makes me go every fucking like 2. 607 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:59,920 Months heavy 1 making me to go and I'm like I have this fear of 608 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:08,040 not really fear of doctors, but I just yeah, I'm so busy. 609 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,720 I just don't want to go. This is never seems like a good 610 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,000 time to go. I think it's one of the. 611 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,760 It's like if it's. Just some. 612 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,200 Schrodinger's cat. It's like Schrodinger's body. 613 00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,200 Like, there's nothing wrong with me right now, but if I go to a 614 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,920 doctor, they're going to be like, holy shit, you needed to 615 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:30,120 come to us years ago. Yeah. 616 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,400 Which is a really stupid mindset because I've had a lot of people 617 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,600 in my family where they've been told that where they're like, 618 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,080 oh, you're going to die because you didn't come to a doctor a 619 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:45,520 while ago. I I think some blood work once 620 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,760 you hit 30 is probably a good idea. 621 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,400 I've got. Abby makes me go get blood work 622 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,720 all the time, and she's always like, analyzing and like, she's 623 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,400 really pissed, though, because her cholesterol is super high 624 00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,080 and she eats, yeah, she eats like a fucking like a rabbit. 625 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,280 She just eats like, little salads and nuts and stuff. 626 00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,440 And then I'm over here slamming just disgusting food and my 627 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,520 cholesterol is perfect. I feel like they're going to be 628 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,560 disgusted by me. What they find, they're going to 629 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:13,280 be. Surprised. 630 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,160 Dude, when I was at the doctor's office, I smelled a guy come in. 631 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,080 I smelled his presence when he walked in the the lobby. 632 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,280 And they see a lot. Worse, But yeah. 633 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:27,840 And I, I just went like, this guy's gross, gross little dude. 634 00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:29,320 Oh. You know what, I'll make a 635 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,720 'cause that's another thing. It's like you don't have 636 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,360 deadlines with this stuff. Maybe I need some of those 637 00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,880 Vyvans, but if I don't have a deadline for something, I just 638 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:44,160 have no motivation to do it. But I'll set 1 here. 639 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:53,960 I'll go to a doctor before July. Well, I get, you know, it's 640 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:56,280 probably like hard to get a appointment and they probably 641 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,920 push it back. And then if I on the podcast in 642 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:03,120 July and I still haven't been, you can, I don't know, kill me 643 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,280 or something, dock my pay or something that'll punish me. 644 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:09,960 You don't care that much. No, I need to care and I need. 645 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:11,719 I need the. Threat of punishment? 646 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,520 You need somebody else to care, is what you're saying. 647 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,480 I need somebody to punish me. You need me to be your Abby, is 648 00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,159 what you're saying? I want you to punish me. 649 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,960 I need to be. I need the threat of looming 650 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:29,199 punishment. Well, well, there's going to be 651 00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:32,080 a lot of tension in here. You can do any punishment that 652 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,040 you see fit. Put me in a big metal bowl, 653 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:38,600 light it on fire, you know? You know what? 654 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:40,920 I'm just looking at the painting behind you. 655 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:45,800 That's a great way of diverting. Catching print is just having a 656 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,360 a glove hang. Like just be like, these are my 657 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,639 this is where I keep my gloves. I have a little glove holder 658 00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:54,760 right in front of my penis. That guy's damn near naked. 659 00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,080 I have no idea. How small his penis is, but you 660 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,440 don't know how hard. How? 661 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:01,000 Sorry. How big it is hard. 662 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,600 Yeah. And I think I think it is big. 663 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,840 It could be hanging all the way down his thigh because of the 664 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,720 glove, you know, catching it. Yeah, that's why I wear, I 665 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:15,760 mainly wear black jeans. Maybe I should just dress like 666 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,600 I'm always on my way to do like a Greco Roman wrestling meet up 667 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:24,600 and I have a athletic cup in I. Mean you could use the classic 668 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,160 get a three ring binder and hold it in front of you while you're 669 00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,280 walking everywhere. You can just start carrying 670 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,560 around a little binder. It's got all the podcast stuff 671 00:35:34,560 --> 00:35:40,120 in it, all your documents. Oh my God wait what? 672 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,440 Dugo sent me a message I was making sure it wasn't an 673 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:46,440 important. It's a it's a screen cap from 674 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,160 Reddit and it says legal. It's from legal advice UK. 675 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:52,600 It says my son pleasured himself in front of Jim and I live with 676 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:55,200 the camera. My entire family is at our 677 00:35:55,200 --> 00:36:03,240 Google accounts banned. No puts Gemini live. 15 years of 678 00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:05,320 business, completely inaccessible. 679 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,680 Everything on our Google Drive, all of our family's Google 680 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,320 accounts have linked to that tablet. 681 00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:14,800 He did it on the family tablet. Oh. 682 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:21,000 Yeah, what? OK, so, oh, he, they, they had 683 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:26,840 all the, the like adult stuff banned from the tablet, but he 684 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:32,240 was using Google Gemini to search for adult stuff and then 685 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:36,120 he was then jacking off from the the search results through 686 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,240 Gemini. What? 687 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,560 Do you mean Jim, like just Google's AI? 688 00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:45,360 Yeah, you can't jerk off by looking up porn and. 689 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:49,520 I don't know, I I guess like going to Gemini and being like 690 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,080 show me some of some huge tits like right, dude, that's 691 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:53,760 awesome. That's. 692 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,960 Watching him. I don't know. 693 00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,560 I guess. I guess maybe he had his camera 694 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,480 on. It was like, OK. 695 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:06,560 Am I doing this right Gemini? Find me some. 696 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,280 Just find me some a little bit sexier. 697 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:12,600 You see my penis getting harder? Clearly not into this. 698 00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,400 Jim and I, I'm getting soft. You need to up your ball. 699 00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,640 Game. Jim and I need you to 700 00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,760 acknowledge and learn from your mistakes. 701 00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,840 I'm getting soft. Don't ever show me something 702 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:26,640 like that ever again. Go to result page 50. 703 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:30,400 Couldn't skip the hard part over. 704 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,000 You know what, at first I was like, that's so shameful. 705 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000 And then now I'm like, that kid's a genius dude. 706 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,080 The the future is now that guy's, he's got like a a porn 707 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,200 assistant where he's like, I'll sit back and do the hard part, 708 00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:46,480 OK, I'll do the jerking off. How much faster do you get porn 709 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:50,720 addiction if you're using AI to help sculpt your porn? 710 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,200 Means I want the AI to be my my porn secretary. 711 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:54,720 I want. I can't. 712 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:58,520 Turn off without my AI assistant guiding me. 713 00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:00,600 What? I got to look up my own porn. 714 00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:06,440 This is the fucking stone ages. 20 years, Jim and I always knows 715 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,880 what I want. You're telling his wife like, I 716 00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:18,040 just want to try something new. Amazon Alexa, talk her through 717 00:38:18,040 --> 00:38:23,440 it. Don't worry, Sam, I know exactly 718 00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:30,480 how you like it. That's awesome. 719 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,720 Yeah, that is awesome. At first I thought it was really 720 00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:36,520 sad, and then now I'm I've totally flipped around and I 721 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:41,080 think this guy rocks. Yeah, he's 14. 722 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,640 He's Scottish too. That's so cool. 723 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,280 Yeah. Oh shit. 724 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:53,760 You have a video you wanted to show me. 725 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:56,080 Is it time for that or should we wait a little bit? 726 00:38:56,760 --> 00:38:58,920 I do have an awesome video. You want to see it? 727 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:07,040 It's I found this guy. He is a stand up comedian and I 728 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:11,080 think this was sent in to my e-mail and I should find the guy 729 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:15,120 really quick. I think he did. 730 00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:21,440 He said your names and the Epstein files, I think is what 731 00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:28,080 he messaged me. Is this the guy Tab? 732 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:30,920 I think his name is. Anyways, he sent me. 733 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,360 He sent me this guy and he goes. You should check this guy out. 734 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:40,280 His name's Sylvester the jester. OK, I like that he's he's like a 735 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:43,160 little stand up comedian guy, but this guy has insane. 736 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,160 He's like Carrot Top if Carrot Top. 737 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:49,360 Oh my God, is he like the one that does cartoonish? 738 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,000 Yes. Have you seen him? 739 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,240 Yes. Yeah, I'm going to. 740 00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,520 Awesome. OK, I didn't realize you've seen 741 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:57,280 it, but I'm going to play a little bit of it for the 742 00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,240 audience at home so you can check out some of these. 743 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:01,680 If I could have some of these visual gags. 744 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:05,640 Oh my God, yeah, I can't see my. Dream. 745 00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:12,600 Girl, this guy rocks. He's got the fake teeth from 746 00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:16,000 like the mask. He's got the roll out tongue. 747 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:20,640 He has everything. The Zootsu these, that's 748 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:23,760 incredible. The binoculars that have a roll 749 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,040 down face and eyeballs poking at. 750 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,880 I want any of these things. So bad. 751 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,840 Yeah, Any of them. I'll take any of them. 752 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,680 Is there any way to turn this down so it's not like the 753 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:39,600 loudest thing in the world? It's more of a visual. 754 00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:43,800 Yeah, I love how it's also like 6 1/2 minutes long. 755 00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:47,600 It feels like an eternity. It is the longest set. 756 00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:53,160 I don't know how he does it, but it's like annoyingly long. 757 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,520 But he has. He's got smoke that comes out of 758 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,120 his ears. He's like a dying art. 759 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,680 Yeah, this guy rocks. So here's the crazy part about 760 00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:03,640 this guy. Yeah, hold on. 761 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,160 There's somebody at my front door. 762 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,760 OK, go do that because I have something else to show you. 763 00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,960 It was the the crackhead. And I told him I was like, hey, 764 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:16,120 man, I just don't come around here anymore. 765 00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:17,840 And he was like, OK, that's thanks, man. 766 00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,800 April Fools. It was just a package. 767 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:27,200 OK. It's part of my new war on the I 768 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,680 have those bees that drill into wood. 769 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:33,480 Oh, Carpenter bees, Yeah. And they're destroying my house, 770 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:37,080 so I've bought, I don't know, cork spray. 771 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,160 Well, we kind of go up there and then you poke them up behind 772 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:41,920 them. I'm going to spray them and I'm 773 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:46,880 going to putty over it and then I also I just bought like a one 774 00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:51,120 of those masks that has a lot of filters on it and stuff. 775 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:54,440 I just think they look kind of cool and IA. 776 00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:58,680 Mask with a filter. Like it's one of those like, you 777 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,720 know, you see people in there like painting a room or 778 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:04,200 something. It's because I got it like a big 779 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:10,280 thing of bee killer spray and I just don't trust myself enough. 780 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,320 Like, I think I'm going to try to put it in there and it's 781 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,040 going to spray right back in my face. 782 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,640 Yeah, I tried to clean my gutters the other day. 783 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,080 I got up on the ladder, the leaf blower, and the ladder wasn't 784 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,600 tall enough and it was super windy out. 785 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:28,760 So it's kind of like, woah. And I'm like, oh, I'm just going 786 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,200 to give it one big spray and see if anything comes out. 787 00:42:32,240 --> 00:42:35,520 And I held up and I sprayed into the gutter. 788 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:40,800 It was so windy that just like a year's worth of dust and pollen 789 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:44,000 and leaves just went up and then blew right into my face and 790 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,480 almost knocked me off the ladder. 791 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:49,120 And I've been sneezing for like 2 days since. 792 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:51,280 So I thought like wow, this mask could be cool. 793 00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,320 Probably these bees are, I mean, they're just incredibly fast. 794 00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:59,080 I've tried to bought one of those. 795 00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:02,520 They're big enough. I bought one of those salt so I 796 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,000 think I said this before. I think I was excited when I 797 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,480 bought that. If I hit one of those bees point 798 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,680 blank it just pisses him off Doesn't matter. 799 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,640 Yeah, that's you need a bigger gun, you're going to need like 800 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:17,320 an elephant rifle. I'm going to need maybe even 801 00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:20,760 bigger April Fools. An elephant rifle would be 802 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,920 perfect. I've been waiting to just say 803 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,440 April Fools this whole time, but there's not really been a good 804 00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:26,440 opportunity. But. 805 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,160 Yeah. It's April Fools, right? 806 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,000 Now it is April Fools. I forgot about that. 807 00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:31,920 Well, see, and I was hoping you forgot. 808 00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:35,720 So I was, I was like, I got to think of a really good one, but 809 00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,480 nothing. I told my girlfriend this 810 00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,520 morning that our vacation got cancelled and she was like on 811 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,680 the verge of tears like April Fools. 812 00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:50,080 It's not even like a good joke. It's just I, I couldn't think of 813 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,560 anything. I was going to tell her that my 814 00:43:53,560 --> 00:43:56,040 family died in a car crash or something. 815 00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:59,960 That's but. My my favorite ones are like 816 00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,800 Youtubers that always go like hey guys I'm quitting April 817 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:11,320 fools fuck off dude. Like fuck off like every shitty 818 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,920 YouTube does that is like their big April fools thing. 819 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:16,320 It's like I'm quitting. You'll be really careful on 820 00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:18,280 Twitter today. If you didn't notice April 821 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,760 Fools, you've already probably got GOT. 822 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,400 Yeah, probably. Fake movie trailers and stuff. 823 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:26,680 Yeah, I had. No, I had no idea. 824 00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,040 I haven't even been online yet. I've just been kind of. 825 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,680 Like I am really bad. I love April Fools but I am 826 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,840 terrible. I think I told my mom last year 827 00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:37,440 that I sold a video of my little sister doing drugs at a party 828 00:44:37,440 --> 00:44:43,600 and she was like, Oh my God, April Fools and yeah, nobody 829 00:44:43,600 --> 00:44:45,240 ever. Finds your little sister like 830 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:49,360 10. No, she's like 15 but I'm like 831 00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,840 she was at an alcohol party and I saw a video. 832 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,840 On. Snapchat and her, she was doing 833 00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:58,960 like a line of drugs and my mom was like, I'm going to her room 834 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:01,320 right now. I saw my little sister 835 00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:04,240 freebasing. She was, she had a spoon and she 836 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:08,160 was cooking up, ha. Ha and. 837 00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:13,080 After your mom beats me on. The belt you just hung up and 838 00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:16,840 I'm like, oh shit, I forgot because I got I had something 839 00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:21,080 else I had to do. I can't wait to call her after 840 00:45:21,080 --> 00:45:26,000 this. Hey, hip died April fools. 841 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:30,360 Ha ha, I saw a video of your husband. 842 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,960 He was banging hookers April fools. 843 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:38,320 It's just funny because it's, it's like a gift of for one 844 00:45:38,320 --> 00:45:41,200 second you're really scared or angry, and then I take it all 845 00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,840 away. I take all the pain away and 846 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,040 you're you're back and. Then. 847 00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:47,240 And then you're just mad at you, Yeah. 848 00:45:47,240 --> 00:45:51,000 Yeah, I'll take it. I'll take the pain and the 849 00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,320 anger. Put it on me. 850 00:45:53,560 --> 00:46:00,160 What am I looking at here? OK, so I saw Sylvester the 851 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,120 gesture and I was like, OK, this guy rocks. 852 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:04,920 This guy that was just like he saw the movie. 853 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,760 Coolest things happen. He was like, I'm going to make 854 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,040 my entire life the mask. And then me and Bizzle looked up 855 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:14,480 Sylvester thejester.com. He has a website. 856 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,120 His website fucking rules. Look at this website. 857 00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:23,680 It's awesome. It's, I mean, everything he I've 858 00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,720 seen from him, which is that one video on this website now. 859 00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:29,520 Perfect. Well, look at that. 860 00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,240 Daffy Duck gave him a review. A masterpiece. 861 00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:34,760 Whimsical. Johnny Carson. 862 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,720 Lots of unique stuff. Johnny Carson like the how old 863 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,160 is this guy? Did Johnny Carson? 864 00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:46,240 Real reviews of Daffy Duck. No, Daffy Duck actually said 865 00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:49,280 that about him. Yeah. 866 00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,880 Anyways, he has a shop here, right? 867 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:59,840 Share this tab instead. Oh shit, yeah, share this tab 868 00:46:59,840 --> 00:47:02,000 instead. OK, so he has a, he has a wacky. 869 00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,960 Factory. And it's called the Wacky 870 00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,480 Factory, which by the way, this whole art thing, this rocks. 871 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,720 And it says the Wacky Factory is going through some retooling. 872 00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,160 Stay tuned. He has. 873 00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:17,240 So from this I was able to find, he does have a YouTube channel 874 00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:23,320 called Sylvester the Jester. And in it, he has advertisements 875 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,360 for the products that used to be on the Wacky Factory. 876 00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:31,600 Oh my God, it was at props. He has a fucking, it's a little 877 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:37,160 Acme box this big and it's super thin and you pull out of it an 878 00:47:37,160 --> 00:47:42,680 entire 2 handed mallet that just like spring loads out-of-the-box 879 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,400 and you could buy it from the store until he stopped selling 880 00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:48,960 it. He's gone through some health 881 00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:52,800 problems recently and so he's like, I have like stage 3 lung 882 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:54,320 cancer or something like he's done. 883 00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:58,520 And I'm like, dude, you need to reopen the wacky factory, OK. 884 00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:04,120 That is, I was so pumped seeing like maybe some future merch 885 00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,120 that I could buy from this guy, like a big zoot suit or 886 00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:09,920 something like that. And it just sucks to see like 887 00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,400 one of my new found heroes is already gone, you know? 888 00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:20,320 This is like if we lived in a world where there were still 889 00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,720 apprentices and masters and stuff. 890 00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,800 This is like a guy I would seek out and see if he would like 891 00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,400 teach me. Yeah. 892 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:32,360 Before he's gone and we'd we'd bond, we'd become a little like 893 00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,200 father and son I'm. Going to see if I can find, 894 00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:38,960 let's see, Sylvester the gesture. 895 00:48:39,920 --> 00:48:43,640 It's not apprenticeship, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 896 00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,360 Google please. Sylvester, the gesture. 897 00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,800 Let's see if he has. I know he has like the his 898 00:48:51,280 --> 00:48:54,480 little advertisement. So he has a a Slyville Slugger 899 00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:57,720 bat. It's a vanishing baseball bat. 900 00:48:57,720 --> 00:49:00,400 You can make it disappear. And then the giant mallet. 901 00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:05,840 That's the cool one. OK, how do I show this thing? 902 00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:08,400 Want those binoculars? Dude, the binoculars. 903 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,920 Doing that in front of your friends? 904 00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:14,280 Yeah, just let me look at that. Mine come out and then 905 00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:17,760 optionally having the mouth go is awesome. 906 00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:20,360 It's. Like a generational joke. 907 00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:24,440 Yeah. And like, old people would find 908 00:49:24,440 --> 00:49:26,720 it funny, kids would. Everyone finds it funny. 909 00:49:26,720 --> 00:49:32,800 Everyone loves cartoons, right? Well, everyone loves cartoon 910 00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,640 based humor. Yeah. 911 00:49:36,160 --> 00:49:41,640 If you did that in front of, I don't know even that I don't say 912 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:44,080 anything about that realtor you were telling me about, he'd 913 00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:51,640 laugh. Hi there, I'm Dan Sylvester, and 914 00:49:51,640 --> 00:49:53,600 you probably know me as Sylvester the Jester. 915 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,720 You could tell by the hat. Well, today I'm going to be for 916 00:49:55,720 --> 00:50:00,200 something. What where'd Sylvester the 917 00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:05,720 Jester go? Having slight technical 918 00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:07,120 difficulties here. Hold on the. 919 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:08,960 Insto Mallet. Well, this is the same thing, 920 00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,320 but it's gigantic. A gigantic Insto mallet. 921 00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:14,200 Spectacular. Twice as much mallet for the 922 00:50:14,200 --> 00:50:16,360 same amount of money. No, it's not. 923 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:18,280 It's the same. It's it's more money than the 924 00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,440 old one. It's bigger, so but twice as 925 00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:23,120 much mallet, but just as much fun. 926 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,640 I'm going to show you a new product today. 927 00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,840 First, I'm going to show you an old product that's been on 928 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,520 market for a while, one of these in stone Mal. 929 00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,720 I told there are lots of fun and you could kill somebody. 930 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:37,240 Listen to that's the best part great idea. 931 00:50:37,240 --> 00:50:39,960 They're selling great. I thought, you know, bigger is 932 00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,280 better. So that's why they came up with 933 00:50:42,360 --> 00:50:45,200 this. Every bit is good and. 934 00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:49,600 Dude. It's called the jumbo mallet or 935 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:52,040 giant mallet. Hey, you could kill something 936 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:55,440 really large with that. Tell me you don't want one of 937 00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,480 those and. It comes dude, I've. 938 00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,800 Got a foreign S? Regular mallet look at this here 939 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,560 inside of this box. Then you pull out. 940 00:51:02,920 --> 00:51:07,920 Whoa. It's also another giant mallet. 941 00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,440 And then you have that and. And here's the actual giant 942 00:51:11,480 --> 00:51:13,200 mallet box. You could do it this way. 943 00:51:13,200 --> 00:51:14,880 An instant mallet. Lots of fun. 944 00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,720 Imagine. Unless you come on, stay. 945 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,400 Here ass. Oh, what if I got inside here 946 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:21,640 and then you take a a 10 foot pole? 947 00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:25,120 No, it's not with another giant mallet. 948 00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:27,000 Look at that boy, that one there, I mean. 949 00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:31,960 Dude that is the greatest fucking thing you could ever 950 00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:35,640 sell on a merchandise store. How the hell? 951 00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:38,800 And I'm assuming he like makes these make, probably doesn't 952 00:51:38,800 --> 00:51:41,040 make them himself, but this guy has to have a patent or 953 00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:44,360 something like that. Does, I mean I don't know, does 954 00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:47,240 like Bugs Bunny have these patents or like. 955 00:51:48,480 --> 00:51:50,280 Bugs Bunny didn't actually make it though. 956 00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:56,160 Still selling stuff like this. I don't know. 957 00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:59,720 There has to be more cartoon gestures out there. 958 00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,240 There has to be. I think the world needs them. 959 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:08,280 Especially in today's world. Yeah, yeah, cartoon. 960 00:52:08,280 --> 00:52:10,800 Mallet. That's just a bunch of pictures 961 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:15,280 of my God damn cartoon mallet. I know man, AI has ruined how I 962 00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:16,800 what? Do you even call that like 963 00:52:17,440 --> 00:52:22,160 magician cartoon like cartoon magician tool? 964 00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:29,000 Prop Sylvester digester giant mallet for sale Try to find one 965 00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:31,120 on eBay before this episode comes out because. 966 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:33,520 Have you already looked? No, I'm. 967 00:52:33,520 --> 00:52:35,800 I haven't even looked yet, but I'm assuming that you. 968 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,360 Better look before I start fucking searching. 969 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,120 Yeah, hey, well, only one of us has to have one, OK. 970 00:52:41,120 --> 00:52:44,640 Just knowing that we have we can have access to it at any point. 971 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:51,520 Super important. Yeah, that guy, just, I don't 972 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,400 know, He just captured my little imagination in the news. 973 00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,000 And then to find out he's sick. Yeah. 974 00:52:56,560 --> 00:52:58,240 It's not bad. It's not good. 975 00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:01,000 Yeah. He also has that hair, his hair 976 00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,280 like you could tell it's like a little wig, a little hairpiece, 977 00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,720 like puts it on and just have a. Perfect piece, even more 978 00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,720 cartoony. Yeah. 979 00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:14,360 Just like a master in his craft. And then also the when he's mad, 980 00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:17,400 being able to shoot steam out of his ears, whatever he uses to do 981 00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:18,040 that. Some way. 982 00:53:18,040 --> 00:53:20,800 The suit's so big, he's got like contraptions everywhere. 983 00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:25,400 And so he just has the zoot suit he's just got. 984 00:53:26,680 --> 00:53:30,600 You know what's great too is that guy has nobody to like. 985 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,360 I, I like someone that just hyper specializes to the point 986 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,320 where they have no contemporaries. 987 00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:40,520 I saw pictures of him on his travels on his website and he's 988 00:53:40,520 --> 00:53:42,920 like, he doesn't hang out with stand up comedians because 989 00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:46,080 they're, I mean, they don't even like Carrot Top, you know, and 990 00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:48,480 Carrot Top's more of a stand up comedian than this guy. 991 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,400 This guy's like. Full For him, it'd be like 992 00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:54,320 hanging out with an aunt. Yeah, he's so elevate, like 993 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:57,720 he's, I don't know, he's in a league of his own. 994 00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:00,960 I saw pictures of him hanging out with a clown and I'm like, 995 00:54:00,960 --> 00:54:02,960 that's as close as you can get. Is like hanging out. 996 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:04,600 It's. Like hanging out with a like a 997 00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,760 Gibbon for him. Yeah, they got a party clown. 998 00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,280 Yeah, they got some jokes. I like the nose squeeze, the 999 00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,000 little flower little water shooter. 1000 00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,680 But this guy's all of his stuff is handmade. 1001 00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:20,680 Like, wait, he's not buying binoculars with eyes that blow 1002 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,240 out the front of them. Smoking a joint with him and Jim 1003 00:54:24,240 --> 00:54:32,200 Carrey from The Mask and Daffy Duck and Bugs Money and Tom from 1004 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:36,920 Tom and Jerry and Jerry Also. How would you feel? 1005 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:40,640 I mean, this guy's got to be on the Mount Rushmore of cartoon 1006 00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:44,160 people. Yeah, but I think like his like 1007 00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:48,280 tagline was like the real life cartoon or something like that. 1008 00:54:49,400 --> 00:54:50,720 That's what he ate. So awesome. 1009 00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:54,840 It's pretty cool. Hit the nail on the head, dude. 1010 00:54:54,840 --> 00:55:00,000 I mean, yeah, I saw that one video and it's just like I just 1011 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,200 turned off the world for a minute and just locked the hell 1012 00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:05,680 in. I didn't even think the like 1013 00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:08,680 this guy's probably got a website that looks awesome too. 1014 00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,040 Yeah, all the art on his website is so cool. 1015 00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:16,560 I love that. I don't even know what style of 1016 00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:20,040 art that is, but like the that weird like forced perspective 1017 00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:23,400 where like the head gets bigger. It was like really popular in 1018 00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:27,360 the 90s. It's awesome he's got to contact 1019 00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:30,040 him. Let's call him up. 1020 00:55:30,040 --> 00:55:31,120 Does he have his phone number on there? 1021 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:35,600 We should e-mail him and be like when we do a merch store, like 1022 00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:41,400 can we shave it off yours? And it looked kind of similar. 1023 00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,920 And how did you do this? How did you make a website look 1024 00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:46,640 like this? Can you do our merch store? 1025 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:48,760 They don't do this on like GoDaddy. 1026 00:55:49,240 --> 00:55:53,160 Yeah, I have no idea man. Don't know how he did it. 1027 00:55:53,720 --> 00:55:55,800 It looks like you could play games on it, too. 1028 00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:58,520 I'm looking at it still like it looks like it would have games. 1029 00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:02,240 Yeah. He's so he's. 1030 00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:04,440 Well, it's kind of scary. He's just got his phone number 1031 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,240 on it. I might call. 1032 00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:10,760 Him later. He's been doing this for like a 1033 00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:15,120 long time too. Yeah, well, dude, he's got Danny 1034 00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:17,680 Duncan, Sylvester giving him testimonials. 1035 00:56:17,720 --> 00:56:18,760 Of course, he's been doing it long. 1036 00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,440 Time he's got the performer, the ACT performances slash awards, 1037 00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:26,840 the real bio. He's got a under the media 1038 00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:29,040 segment. He does have a video of him in 1039 00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:34,120 China and I always wondered like, how does a a guy like him, 1040 00:56:34,120 --> 00:56:37,080 how does he do in China? Does China eat that type of shit 1041 00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:39,840 up or they just don't seem like they're big in the comedy 1042 00:56:39,840 --> 00:56:43,640 circuit? He's the only son of the famous 1043 00:56:43,640 --> 00:56:46,560 husband and wife tag team wrestlers Martha the Mahler and 1044 00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,760 Professor Payne. He has like an awesome origin 1045 00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:54,480 story too. Wait. 1046 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:57,280 Say that whole sentence again. Say that again. 1047 00:56:57,280 --> 00:57:00,040 That's the. Beginning of the tab after the 1048 00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,440 real bio called the Origin question mark. 1049 00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,000 That's the only son of the famous husband and wife tag team 1050 00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,240 wrestlers Martha the Mahler and Professor Payne. 1051 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,840 The young Dan Sylvester learned to take his lumps at a tender 1052 00:57:11,840 --> 00:57:16,000 age, though brilliant as he was, is being walloped and pummeled. 1053 00:57:16,000 --> 00:57:19,160 When it came to dishing it out, poor Sylvester was a failure. 1054 00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:25,640 And worse yet, he barely, and worse yet, he barely topped 5 1055 00:57:25,640 --> 00:57:31,040 foot even into high school. It's kind of oddly written, but 1056 00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:32,680 he was tiny, too. Yeah. 1057 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:36,600 OK. I That's exactly what I was 1058 00:57:36,600 --> 00:57:39,480 like. My God. 1059 00:57:40,040 --> 00:57:43,120 Maybe you should. He found work at the Acme Anvil 1060 00:57:43,120 --> 00:57:45,680 plant, where he continued to work until his little accident 1061 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:48,080 in 83 that rendered him unconscious for nearly eight 1062 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:49,400 years. Is this a real bio? 1063 00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:54,560 Are those really his parents? Yeah, he worked at the Acme 1064 00:57:54,560 --> 00:57:56,400 anvil plant. Wait. 1065 00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,640 That's legit the. Hospital staff, in a desperate 1066 00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,240 push to vacate the bed he occupied, tried out the 1067 00:58:02,240 --> 00:58:06,640 experimental drug. Reanimate them on the comatose 1068 00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,080 Sylvester upon which he bounded from the sheets. 1069 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,640 Donda bedpan hat and chirped back to normal. 1070 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,440 That's so awesome. I'm going to read this whole 1071 00:58:23,440 --> 00:58:30,080 he's from Ohio. He's got a real bio but it's 1072 00:58:30,080 --> 00:58:31,440 like he kind of leaves it up to you. 1073 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:36,920 Like what is the real origin? All right, I'm done goofing now. 1074 00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:39,320 For real though, I worked at the Acme plant. 1075 00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:41,600 No, but. Seriously, they did use an 1076 00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:47,160 experimental drug on me. Just a just an awesome guy. 1077 00:58:47,720 --> 00:58:53,200 That's just, yeah, that's, I think it's so cool when people 1078 00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:57,800 do weird shit like this and put their whole heart and soul into 1079 00:58:57,800 --> 00:59:00,960 it. Yeah, I did see there is like a 1080 00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:05,200 photo of him in what looks like a garage where he has he's doing 1081 00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,960 all of his tinkering to make his little gizmos and gadgets. 1082 00:59:08,040 --> 00:59:10,400 I'm sure there's just a big cloud plume in the sound of like 1083 00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:14,080 saws and hammers drills. Yeah. 1084 00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,640 I'd love to see what his house looks like but it's fucking 1085 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:23,480 crazy in there. Yeah, I bet you when he's using 1086 00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:27,040 like a hand saw, it makes the sound of like a pneumatic 1087 00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,920 ratchet. Like like just all sorts of 1088 00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,200 different tool noises while he's doing one thing. 1089 00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,280 When he opens his front door, he walks right in. 1090 00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:38,040 And when I try to, it's a painting. 1091 00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:42,040 Yeah. So cool. 1092 00:59:42,320 --> 00:59:44,560 I'm just trying to rob a guy that lives in a cartoon house. 1093 00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:45,640 Good luck. Yeah. 1094 00:59:47,840 --> 00:59:50,840 Bizzle was telling me there was like this old like Greek. 1095 00:59:52,280 --> 00:59:56,480 It was like a a story about these two Greek painters that 1096 00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:59,040 were having a competition to see who is the better painter. 1097 01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:02,880 And one of them it's. Just like mythology or? 1098 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,040 No, it was apparent. Well, I don't know, it might be 1099 01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:07,800 made-up, but it was a they were real people. 1100 01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:12,960 And one of them at the at the competition one goes check it 1101 01:00:12,960 --> 01:00:13,920 out. Look at this. 1102 01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:16,520 This is my painting. And it was a it was a chicken 1103 01:00:16,520 --> 01:00:18,880 that he painted and it was so perfect. 1104 01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:22,360 It looked like it was alive. And then the other guy goes, OK, 1105 01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,320 we'll check out my painting. It's behind that curtain. 1106 01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:26,880 And the guy goes to pull the curtain back and it's a painting 1107 01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:28,560 of a curtain and it looks so real. 1108 01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:29,760 He tried to. Actually move it. 1109 01:00:29,840 --> 01:00:32,000 That's how he got him. He just gets so clowned on. 1110 01:00:32,320 --> 01:00:33,600 He did that. Oh, he should. 1111 01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:36,240 He should have painted a tunnel on the wall and said, yeah, go 1112 01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:38,320 check out my painting, dude, it's down there. 1113 01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:41,040 You better run because it's pretty far. 1114 01:00:41,320 --> 01:00:45,440 It's right down that hallway. Yeah, that is. 1115 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,080 Absolutely. But the aura loss. 1116 01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:52,320 From trying to break back a fake curtain. 1117 01:00:52,400 --> 01:00:54,480 All your nails get ripped to shreds. 1118 01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,560 Is insane. I can't find purchase on this 1119 01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:02,880 curtain. Also the but that's so the. 1120 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:06,120 Guy to be like it's right because that's an aura gamble 1121 01:01:06,120 --> 01:01:08,360 because if the guy had been like, yeah, it's a fucking 1122 01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,880 shitty painting of a curtain a. Shitty curtain you painted? 1123 01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:19,760 Yeah, that's awesome. It's so funny too, because like 1124 01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:22,920 you think like the the humans have evolved over time. 1125 01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:27,360 But like that, that's a Looney Tunes bit that was done in like 1126 01:01:27,360 --> 01:01:29,360 200 BC. I don't. 1127 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,360 Believe in evolution. Don't put that those kinds of 1128 01:01:31,360 --> 01:01:34,800 words in my mouth. Yes. 1129 01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:37,800 I don't think humans evolved at all. 1130 01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,560 At all. I've seen a picture of my 1131 01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,040 grandpa and he wasn't a damn monkey. 1132 01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:47,560 So yeah, it is. It is comforting. 1133 01:01:47,560 --> 01:01:51,280 Like I think we talked about that with Doctor Garrett Ryan or 1134 01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:53,160 whatever. It's like people still make 1135 01:01:53,160 --> 01:01:56,320 jokes, you know? People are people. 1136 01:01:56,920 --> 01:01:58,840 Yeah. Little jests and Goofs 1. 1137 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,800 Of the most common Roman graffitis was just a cock and 1138 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:03,240 balls. They would just carve it and 1139 01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:05,920 everything. Which means that all those, 1140 01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:10,160 like, conscripted little Roman soldiers were just young dudes. 1141 01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:13,640 They're just dudes in their 20s going like hell yeah, carve a 1142 01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:15,960 cock and balls on this. And. 1143 01:02:16,360 --> 01:02:17,880 It's timeless. It's timeless. 1144 01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:21,280 Like I would say they were funny, but they weren't like as 1145 01:02:21,280 --> 01:02:24,960 funny as cartoons. But they wanted to be. 1146 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,640 Yeah, yeah, they just didn't know. 1147 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:32,040 If you showed ancient Romans some Looney Tunes, I bet he'd 1148 01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:33,680 get a real giggle. Yeah. 1149 01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:38,080 But there's some timeless things that like, I think if we went 1150 01:02:38,080 --> 01:02:41,360 back in time and just like did like a little perfectly timed 1151 01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:43,520 fart or something like that, they'd probably get a laugh. 1152 01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,880 Yeah, yeah. It's just, it's timeless. 1153 01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:49,480 That's so timeless. That's so good. 1154 01:02:50,640 --> 01:02:54,520 Stinks too. Always stunk, I bet. 1155 01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,680 They're modern diets. I'm sure it's yeah. 1156 01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:58,160 I wonder if they smell worse now I. 1157 01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:00,600 Don't know. Well theirs are all filtered out 1158 01:03:00,600 --> 01:03:04,040 from all the tapeworms and shit. But they probably didn't wear 1159 01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,600 underwear, so they didn't catch a lot of it. 1160 01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:11,640 I'd be interested to talk to a historian about that. 1161 01:03:13,720 --> 01:03:18,560 Stinky was it it's like everything probably stank more 1162 01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:22,720 so we're farts just blended in with the room smell. 1163 01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:26,360 You know it's. You know, we like in order to go 1164 01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:30,320 South from Tallahassee, you drive through a place, I think 1165 01:03:30,320 --> 01:03:35,200 it's Perry, that has a little town called Perry and it has a 1166 01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:38,600 has a fucking paper mill in it. Have you ever smelled a paper 1167 01:03:38,600 --> 01:03:40,920 milltown? I. 1168 01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:43,640 Horrific. You can smell it before you even 1169 01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:46,320 get to it. Dude, the something about making 1170 01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:49,400 paper. Paper mill would stink. 1171 01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:51,560 Well, they have to. They have to like bleach it and 1172 01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,160 they give it like ammonia. Farm stink No. 1173 01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:55,920 It's way worse than a farm. Way worse. 1174 01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:59,160 Yeah, it hits. It hits the AC in your car and 1175 01:03:59,160 --> 01:04:01,720 gets immediately jet blasted into your nose while you're on 1176 01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,000 the Interstate. And it's if it's humid, if it's 1177 01:04:05,000 --> 01:04:07,120 raining outside. Oh dude. 1178 01:04:07,120 --> 01:04:08,960 It'll it makes you just want to speed up. 1179 01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:11,720 You just want to go blasting through the town at 100 mph. 1180 01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:14,680 Somewhere in like, Virginia, in a small town, they had a chicken 1181 01:04:15,160 --> 01:04:19,240 plant and it was right by the river in that whole area just 1182 01:04:19,240 --> 01:04:21,440 smelled like chicken shit. So overwhelmingly. 1183 01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,920 It was so gross. Especially, Yeah, on a hot day. 1184 01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:25,600 Yeah. And the river. 1185 01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:28,400 I don't know if they just shoot the poop into the river or what, 1186 01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:32,320 but stinky. But what's weird is I think the 1187 01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:36,600 saddest part actually is that once you pull in to the town and 1188 01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,600 you're there for a little bit, you become very quickly nose 1189 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:42,440 blind to it. And so I think if we went back 1190 01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,280 in time, at first it would be an assault on the senses, and then 1191 01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,360 very quickly we'd be like whatever. 1192 01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,080 Yeah, that's true. That shows our ability to adapt. 1193 01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,200 If that's not evolution, I don't know what is. 1194 01:04:53,400 --> 01:04:56,920 You know? And adapt this super stinky 1195 01:04:56,920 --> 01:05:02,240 stuff, yeah. Like Pips, fucking stinky, just 1196 01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:04,200 whole body. I'm used to it. 1197 01:05:04,200 --> 01:05:06,720 But I bet a stranger comes into my house, they're like, Oh my 1198 01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:08,440 gosh. You know that is your pet. 1199 01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:11,120 It is on you a little bit. You should probably give him a 1200 01:05:11,120 --> 01:05:14,400 bath. I don't really want my drains to 1201 01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:17,280 rot rot. He actually loves baths. 1202 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,440 He's not. He's not really stinky, but just 1203 01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,960 having a bunch of dogs just makes a dog smell. 1204 01:05:24,240 --> 01:05:27,720 Yeah, yeah, you can. Usually enter a house. 1205 01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:30,320 And you can go. These fuckers have pets. 1206 01:05:30,320 --> 01:05:32,480 Or you can tell if somebody has, like, a litter box in their 1207 01:05:32,480 --> 01:05:33,680 house. Yeah. 1208 01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,520 Second, you want. And they're like, you can't 1209 01:05:35,520 --> 01:05:36,880 smell it. You can't. 1210 01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,080 Yeah, you can't. I can. 1211 01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:41,040 Yeah. Cat. 1212 01:05:41,160 --> 01:05:43,040 Cat shit stink really bad. Yeah. 1213 01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:45,000 Kind of the only thing I want a cat but. 1214 01:05:45,640 --> 01:05:48,200 I think kittens are so fucking cute. 1215 01:05:48,200 --> 01:05:51,720 I don't like the rest of what comes into owning a cat. 1216 01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:55,880 Like the litter box that they get up on your your food prep 1217 01:05:55,880 --> 01:05:58,360 areas, they get up on the. Camera they can get anywhere. 1218 01:05:58,560 --> 01:06:00,240 What the fuck dude? I don't want those little 1219 01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:03,400 fuckers stepping in their litter box and then on my food prep 1220 01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:06,080 areas. Gwen knows where she belongs. 1221 01:06:06,120 --> 01:06:09,400 On the fucking floor looking up at me, begging for scraps, 1222 01:06:09,640 --> 01:06:13,040 hoping I drop something. I think what it is is when 1223 01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:16,080 people own a cat, they're I think they're ready to elevate 1224 01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:21,240 an animal to human status, you know, and I think when somebody 1225 01:06:21,240 --> 01:06:24,120 has a dog, they go, you belong down there. 1226 01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:25,640 And the dog knows it belongs down there. 1227 01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:29,960 The dog knows its place. And I'm just not ready to bring 1228 01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:32,840 an animal into my house that thinks it's as it's my equal. 1229 01:06:32,840 --> 01:06:36,600 Are you kidding me? Walk on my counters, shit in my 1230 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:38,560 house. My dog shits out in the backyard 1231 01:06:38,560 --> 01:06:41,280 in the woods. It doesn't even, it doesn't even 1232 01:06:41,400 --> 01:06:45,440 shit in the backyard. Gwen goes out into the woods. 1233 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,800 She's like, I can't even shit on the premises. 1234 01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:49,280 I have to go into the I. Know the. 1235 01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:53,720 Neighbors yard and I. Know what I am, I'm an animal. 1236 01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:57,880 I don't want to shit on cats too much though because I just got 1237 01:06:58,320 --> 01:07:04,840 the unfortunate non April Fool's news of my family cat Windu. 1238 01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:06,280 I just passed away the other day. 1239 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:09,120 Very sad. Mace Windu is dead. 1240 01:07:09,240 --> 01:07:15,800 He's fallen like Star Wars. Yeah, now I'm have to go back 1241 01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:19,280 home for cat funeral, which is sounds awful. 1242 01:07:19,320 --> 01:07:22,240 Yeah, that's, that's sad. It's never, I mean, it's never a 1243 01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:26,880 joyous time when a pet passes. And no more than anything, 1244 01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:30,080 you're not so much mourning the pet passing, you're mourning the 1245 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,600 the anguish that the people around it feel. 1246 01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:36,360 You know, what kind of pet funeral do you have? 1247 01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:37,840 Do you bury them or do you cremate? 1248 01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,640 Viking. Viking, that's fucking bad. 1249 01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:44,520 Down the stream in a little cat boat. 1250 01:07:45,840 --> 01:07:47,440 That's awesome. That's how Hero. 1251 01:07:48,560 --> 01:07:50,800 Well, cats think they're our equals, so that's probably how 1252 01:07:50,800 --> 01:07:53,760 they would want to go out now. They probably want like, yeah, 1253 01:07:54,200 --> 01:07:57,680 like, like Napoleon Mausoleum, where you have to look up at 1254 01:07:57,680 --> 01:07:59,800 them as you come in. You just have like a. 1255 01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:04,880 It's sweet, but it's going to lead to a pet cemetery situation 1256 01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:06,440 eventually. We just have like an animal 1257 01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:09,560 graveyard in the woods where like all of the family animals 1258 01:08:09,560 --> 01:08:16,040 get buried. And I don't know, I don't know, 1259 01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:17,920 like if lightning strikes it or something. 1260 01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,080 It just seems like a bad idea to have that many. 1261 01:08:21,080 --> 01:08:25,760 And it's also like, anytime I've ever told my mom, like, don't 1262 01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:29,279 you just want to sell this house one day and just move, like, 1263 01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:32,920 live somewhere else? And she's like, our animals are 1264 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,319 buried here. Yeah. 1265 01:08:34,560 --> 01:08:36,399 There's no arguing with that. OK. 1266 01:08:37,359 --> 01:08:38,200 Yeah. I say anything. 1267 01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:42,080 I sound like a monster, But we could exhume them. 1268 01:08:43,040 --> 01:08:47,040 We have a place where we've buried a couple pets too and and 1269 01:08:47,040 --> 01:08:51,240 I'm like, what if it sells? Like it's those places are just 1270 01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:54,960 they're gone. Dogs are just buried there. 1271 01:08:54,960 --> 01:08:56,359 You. Put a little marker so they 1272 01:08:56,359 --> 01:08:59,520 don't ever dig it up. Or would they be weirded out if 1273 01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,319 there was a little head headstone? 1274 01:09:01,520 --> 01:09:04,080 We buried them and then we plant a tree on top. 1275 01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:10,040 We did that once for yeah, a cat, and the cat tree is strong. 1276 01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,920 Oh yeah, well, I mean, it's being fueled by the cat. 1277 01:09:13,160 --> 01:09:15,880 Yeah, that's very essence is. Nutrients. 1278 01:09:16,080 --> 01:09:22,319 Yeah, and I think, I think when Gwen goes, it's either taxidermy 1279 01:09:22,319 --> 01:09:24,560 or doing cremation. I'm taking her with me. 1280 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:26,960 I've talked about taxidermy a lot. 1281 01:09:27,359 --> 01:09:28,520 Trying. To some people say it's 1282 01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:31,240 insensitive. Scrubs, they had a taxidermy dog 1283 01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,840 and I love that show. And I was a kid and I always 1284 01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:35,560 thought that was pretty cool. I would just be so afraid of 1285 01:09:35,560 --> 01:09:39,080 getting another dog and then the dog attacks the taxidermied 1 1286 01:09:39,080 --> 01:09:41,479 and no dog's going to replace Gwen. 1287 01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:46,080 Gwen is a top tier dog. And if a new dog comes in and 1288 01:09:46,080 --> 01:09:48,800 starts mean mugging my taxidermied dog? 1289 01:09:49,319 --> 01:09:52,160 Yeah, biting. My taxi would be pretty freaky 1290 01:09:52,160 --> 01:09:54,600 as a dog. If I turn the corner and I see 1291 01:09:54,600 --> 01:09:58,040 my new dog mounted on Gwen, giving it to her from behind, 1292 01:09:58,040 --> 01:10:00,680 I'm going to be fucking pissed. What if it made puppies? 1293 01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:06,160 That'd be pretty special. Be pretty cool. 1294 01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:09,440 April Fools. That's it'd be an abomination. 1295 01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:13,320 No, that's even better than Immaculate Conception or 1296 01:10:13,320 --> 01:10:14,560 whatever from the Bible that would be. 1297 01:10:14,560 --> 01:10:18,240 That'd be like the pet version of the Bible being made right 1298 01:10:18,240 --> 01:10:21,320 there in my house. And there'd be like, 'cause they 1299 01:10:21,320 --> 01:10:23,560 have big litters, would be like 6 Christs. 1300 01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:27,560 Yeah. Also better than the Bible. 1301 01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:30,840 Yeah. Bunch of the little dog Christs 1302 01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:33,760 walking around drink a bunch of wine. 1303 01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:36,640 That'd be so awesome. All in my house. 1304 01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:39,640 Yeah, that'd be cool. I'd be on my hands and knees 1305 01:10:39,640 --> 01:10:43,680 drinking out of their water bowl and they turn it into wine more. 1306 01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:47,440 Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't let them spread their 1307 01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,480 word though. I hate there's nothing worse 1308 01:10:49,480 --> 01:10:51,960 than when people are religious and try to convert others, so I 1309 01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:54,560 would. This whole religion would live 1310 01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:59,560 and die in my house. I had the Messiah right here in 1311 01:10:59,560 --> 01:11:05,520 my house and nobody here. Dogs now can't go out in the 1312 01:11:05,520 --> 01:11:06,760 woods. Who'll go to the neighbor's 1313 01:11:06,760 --> 01:11:08,600 house? No, you'll be converting all the 1314 01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,640 other dogs and not to buy a shit load of dog food. 1315 01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:12,280 No way. I don't want these bums over 1316 01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:14,800 here, OK? We feed the poor dogs. 1317 01:11:14,800 --> 01:11:20,800 No, we don't keep coming back. I don't like the strong moral 1318 01:11:20,800 --> 01:11:23,800 compass you fucking this whole litter of dogs has. 1319 01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:28,640 OK, you guys are cool, but yeah, until you guys make some of your 1320 01:11:28,640 --> 01:11:30,120 own money to buy your own dog food, yeah. 1321 01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:39,720 Turn one piece of kibble into 20 bad ass little God dogs walking 1322 01:11:39,720 --> 01:11:40,960 around. Yeah. 1323 01:11:41,000 --> 01:11:43,520 Why don't you do some of those Old Testament miracles where you 1324 01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:46,440 like, yeah, multiply food, stuff like that. 1325 01:11:46,480 --> 01:11:48,840 Turn 1 fish into a bunch of fish. 1326 01:11:49,600 --> 01:11:53,200 Keep it simple. Yeah, you could do a hear 1327 01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:57,880 thought about like cloak accessories hat. 1328 01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:01,120 Oh, what for? Like my dogs? 1329 01:12:01,120 --> 01:12:02,360 Gwen. Oh. 1330 01:12:02,880 --> 01:12:06,200 Turning her into a cloak where like the head goes over like 1331 01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:09,160 her. Oh yeah, like a OK, like I'm a 1332 01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:13,440 like a Roman or those guys that would run around in skirmish 1333 01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:16,120 ahead of the battle, they would, they would wear like a wolf pelt 1334 01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:18,960 and they would. I know you're talking. 1335 01:12:19,280 --> 01:12:22,160 Yeah, something like that. Yeah, I could do that. 1336 01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:27,200 She's it's a smaller side. It wouldn't be. 1337 01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:29,640 It'd be like it wouldn't go down your back very far, yeah. 1338 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:34,440 That's the problem, Yeah. I don't know, maybe I could 1339 01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:36,720 make, have you ever seen like the Robin Hood things where it's 1340 01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:40,600 like it, it's just like a smock thing that kind of goes around 1341 01:12:40,600 --> 01:12:42,320 the front and then around the back. 1342 01:12:42,320 --> 01:12:45,040 And then maybe I could have her head over my head. 1343 01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:48,520 But I feel like every time I I wore that Abby probably wouldn't 1344 01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:52,440 be too happy with me seeing me like parade around her our dog. 1345 01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:55,760 Sorry for about taxidermy, it's like everyone else would make it 1346 01:12:55,760 --> 01:12:57,200 their problem. Yeah. 1347 01:12:57,480 --> 01:12:59,240 Like it's kind of gross what you did with your dog. 1348 01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,200 Am I sorry? If he could have talked, he 1349 01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:05,680 would have wanted this. Yeah, not only that, but like, 1350 01:13:06,360 --> 01:13:08,200 who are you to tell me how to mourn? 1351 01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:13,360 And I'd have him like. As I'm giggling with my Cape. 1352 01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:17,480 Yet who are you to tell? Me. 1353 01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:21,920 You're way better dead than alive, Gwen. 1354 01:13:21,920 --> 01:13:26,040 You make an awesome Cape. Keep the sun off my head. 1355 01:13:27,760 --> 01:13:30,560 I would have Pippen, like a little taxidermy, little like, 1356 01:13:30,560 --> 01:13:33,560 couch when he'd have, like, a beer and an Xbox controller. 1357 01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:37,960 Or I'd turn him into like, a flashlight where I could squeeze 1358 01:13:37,960 --> 01:13:41,800 his belly and then hold it out and scan for intruders. 1359 01:13:43,720 --> 01:13:47,680 A little like Piggy Bank, Yeah. A zipper. 1360 01:13:47,680 --> 01:13:49,640 A zipper down his belly or something. 1361 01:13:50,520 --> 01:13:57,440 Little coin slot. One day you just have to destroy 1362 01:13:57,440 --> 01:14:04,720 it, break it up. Oh, only $4.00 sworn in. 1363 01:14:05,120 --> 01:14:10,800 Swore there's one there. My rainy day fund, finally. 1364 01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:16,240 I was thinking my aunt growing up had this great table and it 1365 01:14:16,240 --> 01:14:18,360 was an elephant. It was a brass sculpture of an 1366 01:14:18,360 --> 01:14:24,240 elephant and it was a beast of burden coffee table. 1367 01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:27,560 So it was an elephant that its back and tusks were holding up a 1368 01:14:27,560 --> 01:14:30,760 glass pane on top like. Squirreled. 1369 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:34,440 Yeah, and if I could have Gwen like on her back with her paws, 1370 01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:37,560 like holding up the glass table that. 1371 01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:42,400 Way it's like, it's not for a joke, it's really utility. 1372 01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:48,440 Yeah, yeah, or there there is actually a very tasteful way you 1373 01:14:48,440 --> 01:14:51,680 could do it and kind of have a similar vibe and then people 1374 01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:56,520 won't frown at you so much. But my, I had a friend growing 1375 01:14:56,520 --> 01:15:02,800 up that at his house, as you turn into his driveway, they had 1376 01:15:02,800 --> 01:15:05,600 a big brass sculpture of the dog. 1377 01:15:05,880 --> 01:15:08,120 And it was a hunting dog that was like a pointer. 1378 01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:10,600 And it was pointing the way to like their house. 1379 01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:12,920 Like he would point down the driveway with his like paw up 1380 01:15:12,920 --> 01:15:15,720 and his tail out and everything. And then it had like a little 1381 01:15:15,720 --> 01:15:18,400 placard under it. But that's almost like the 1382 01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:20,680 cemetery where it's like, if I move, I have to pick up this 1383 01:15:21,120 --> 01:15:26,040 fucking £500 statue. But I think a statue of a dog is 1384 01:15:26,040 --> 01:15:29,160 really cool because I don't think like, I don't think I've 1385 01:15:29,160 --> 01:15:34,480 ever met a human that deserves a statue in any way but a dog. 1386 01:15:34,880 --> 01:15:38,960 They're so just, they're so good, you know, there's. 1387 01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:45,240 Some people that could get it's an argument for a bust but a dog 1388 01:15:45,360 --> 01:15:48,000 full body. The problem with humans is like 1389 01:15:48,000 --> 01:15:52,360 there's no really like like the the amount of humans out there 1390 01:15:52,360 --> 01:15:55,160 that are just pure. It's so. 1391 01:15:55,440 --> 01:15:57,560 I don't think it used to be just pure to get a bus. 1392 01:15:57,560 --> 01:16:01,960 I think Sylvester the Jester, like there's people where it's 1393 01:16:01,960 --> 01:16:04,120 like you should be remembered in a bus in. 1394 01:16:04,440 --> 01:16:05,960 In some way, yeah. Yeah. 1395 01:16:06,480 --> 01:16:08,600 I'd like a. Bus Anytime we make a statue, I 1396 01:16:08,600 --> 01:16:10,400 feel like there's always someone that comes out of the woodwork 1397 01:16:10,400 --> 01:16:12,960 and goes like, actually this person did this too. 1398 01:16:13,720 --> 01:16:17,120 Well, I'm not saying you put it in a park, I'm saying my house 1399 01:16:17,120 --> 01:16:19,600 could be filled with just personal. 1400 01:16:21,040 --> 01:16:23,720 You're impersonal, so best in the gesture. 1401 01:16:23,720 --> 01:16:28,480 Bust on the Mantel piece. It's him doing the binoculars. 1402 01:16:29,880 --> 01:16:33,320 Long way out, yeah. Steam coming out of his ears. 1403 01:16:35,280 --> 01:16:37,880 That's awesome. I only ever saw one video but 1404 01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:46,000 just wanted just wanted this. I don't know, I just don't. 1405 01:16:46,200 --> 01:16:48,960 I don't think Pip will ever die, so I'm just not going to worry 1406 01:16:48,960 --> 01:16:51,280 about it. Keep looking at Gwen dude, and 1407 01:16:51,320 --> 01:16:55,440 her her face is getting so grey. Oh my God it's getting so grey. 1408 01:16:55,920 --> 01:16:59,960 It's a bad week. Yeah, I know two family animals 1409 01:16:59,960 --> 01:17:04,040 that died this week. So guys, if you got any, your 1410 01:17:04,040 --> 01:17:06,680 parents still have one of the old guard, one of those pets 1411 01:17:06,680 --> 01:17:08,400 that you left when you went to college. 1412 01:17:10,160 --> 01:17:15,320 Tell it you love it. Yeah, it's, it's, it's a bad day 1413 01:17:15,320 --> 01:17:18,040 to be an old, old, old dog or cat right now. 1414 01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:22,480 Yeah. And it's going to get worse. 1415 01:17:22,480 --> 01:17:29,280 The dog was in here. Well, they the dog heard that we 1416 01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:32,520 were talking about them. It'd be I would not want to be a 1417 01:17:32,520 --> 01:17:36,120 dog right now because somebody or something is going around 1418 01:17:36,120 --> 01:17:41,800 killing family pets. The dog gets up and walks out. 1419 01:17:42,120 --> 01:17:43,880 Fuck. This is a threat to your viewer. 1420 01:17:43,880 --> 01:17:47,840 Tell your animals you locked up now because and somebody going 1421 01:17:47,840 --> 01:17:51,480 around the Midwest killing dogs and cats, but so I don't want to 1422 01:17:51,480 --> 01:17:55,040 go to the funeral just feels. You know what's fucked up 1423 01:17:55,040 --> 01:18:01,400 though, is every time there's like anytime there's like a like 1424 01:18:01,400 --> 01:18:03,840 when COVID was happening, did you see the all the people that 1425 01:18:03,840 --> 01:18:06,240 were just chucking their pets out the windows because they 1426 01:18:06,240 --> 01:18:10,400 thought that like the pets might be like holding COVID and might 1427 01:18:10,400 --> 01:18:12,840 be like giving? You didn't see that? 1428 01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:15,600 Like people were. They're pet bats or something. 1429 01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:20,760 No, they were like cats like they I think it was during SARS, 1430 01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:26,400 I think SARS was they found out that SARS could be transmitted 1431 01:18:26,400 --> 01:18:28,960 through cats. And so when COVID. 1432 01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:31,120 Popped up, they were like that. Never leaves the house. 1433 01:18:33,320 --> 01:18:35,760 And so when COVID popped up, people were scared that like, 1434 01:18:35,800 --> 01:18:38,240 well, with SARS, they could be transmitted through cats. 1435 01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:41,560 So maybe, you know, it could be this COVID thing could be 1436 01:18:41,640 --> 01:18:44,040 through cats. And so just on a whim, just to 1437 01:18:44,040 --> 01:18:46,880 make sure they save themselves, they fucking would Chuck their 1438 01:18:46,880 --> 01:18:49,640 cats. Like real old timey mentality. 1439 01:18:49,800 --> 01:18:53,480 I know, right? Yeah, it's, I mean my grandma 1440 01:18:53,840 --> 01:18:58,160 people, yeah, people that have changed their their sentiment 1441 01:18:58,160 --> 01:19:02,000 towards pets a lot in like the past 100 years. 1442 01:19:02,000 --> 01:19:05,600 My grandfather told me of like, like he had dogs growing up, 1443 01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:08,120 like dog would bite somebody and they would just be like, damn, 1444 01:19:08,120 --> 01:19:10,440 to put the dog down, you done showed aggression. 1445 01:19:10,440 --> 01:19:12,040 They'd just blast the dog's head up. 1446 01:19:12,440 --> 01:19:16,720 Yeah, my grandpa that I never met was apparently seemed like 1447 01:19:16,720 --> 01:19:20,160 he thought of animals as insects. 1448 01:19:21,320 --> 01:19:24,000 Yeah, he would. He seemed pretty, pretty awful 1449 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:28,280 towards. Yeah, Yeah, Dog bit somebody and 1450 01:19:28,280 --> 01:19:33,000 then he killed it and all its puppies and. 1451 01:19:35,240 --> 01:19:37,240 He did a mafia hit on a fucking dog. 1452 01:19:38,160 --> 01:19:40,320 I sort of talked about this. I killed the dog. 1453 01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:43,440 I killed the dog's family. My mom's a vegetarian. 1454 01:19:43,440 --> 01:19:47,680 It's because it bit like a rich neighbor girl and he's like, if 1455 01:19:47,680 --> 01:19:50,560 they make a big stink about this, like we lose everything. 1456 01:19:50,560 --> 01:19:54,080 So he just killed. He just cleaned house. 1457 01:19:55,000 --> 01:19:59,440 She's pretty crazy. And then, yeah, it was fun. 1458 01:19:59,520 --> 01:20:01,840 My mom just always sucks, like being a vegetarian with that 1459 01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:04,160 family. Horrible, she said. 1460 01:20:04,360 --> 01:20:07,720 My grandma always used to say God didn't want us to eat 1461 01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:08,880 animals. He wouldn't have made them out 1462 01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:13,280 of meat. Well, she makes a strong point. 1463 01:20:13,280 --> 01:20:16,040 Yeah, dude, why do you think we have incisors? 1464 01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:18,200 I mean, people are made out of meat too, but. 1465 01:20:19,080 --> 01:20:21,480 Well, you're not supposed to eat your own, but if there was like 1466 01:20:21,480 --> 01:20:24,040 a Neanderthal or like an orangutan around here. 1467 01:20:24,600 --> 01:20:31,640 Yeah, I would taste if it's flesh, but once, Oh, you, you 1468 01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:33,840 know, you gave me a listen. Dude, look at this one. 1469 01:20:33,840 --> 01:20:35,040 I'm talking about these deadlines. 1470 01:20:35,040 --> 01:20:39,240 You gave me homework last episode to finish that book and 1471 01:20:39,240 --> 01:20:41,800 find out what the big stink was. Oh yeah. 1472 01:20:42,320 --> 01:20:46,240 Went through like 30 hours, 40 hours of that audio book. 1473 01:20:48,000 --> 01:20:49,840 I found it. I found the stink. 1474 01:20:49,840 --> 01:20:53,800 Oh OK, do a recap for the people that didn't watch the previous 1475 01:20:53,800 --> 01:20:56,800 episode so I've. Been reading the name of the 1476 01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:59,680 Wind the The King killer chronicles. 1477 01:21:00,400 --> 01:21:02,440 I've always heard really good things about the first one, the 1478 01:21:02,440 --> 01:21:03,200 kink. Killer. 1479 01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:07,160 Yeah, and I thought the first one was pretty good. 1480 01:21:07,160 --> 01:21:10,400 Like it was pretty. I thought it was well written, 1481 01:21:10,400 --> 01:21:13,560 but it's a lit, you know, how do I say this chat? 1482 01:21:13,560 --> 01:21:16,520 I I I read a lot of books. From How do I say this chat? 1483 01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,440 How do I say this? I was going to say gently. 1484 01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:21,520 Oh, I thought you said Chad. Chad. 1485 01:21:21,520 --> 01:21:25,720 How do I say this? Like I read a lot of books for 1486 01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:28,000 like, I think you can make an argument that the main character 1487 01:21:28,000 --> 01:21:29,600 might be a little bit of a Mary Sue. 1488 01:21:30,440 --> 01:21:32,840 I've got no real problem when I'm reading a book where it's 1489 01:21:32,840 --> 01:21:36,920 like, and I am badass and I'm awesome and I, you know, I'm 1490 01:21:36,920 --> 01:21:39,160 like the best of this stuff. I'm like that guy, whatever. 1491 01:21:40,280 --> 01:21:42,640 This guy's like the main character in this series is 1492 01:21:42,640 --> 01:21:47,440 maybe the most egregious. Like anything he does, he's just 1493 01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:52,480 the best in the world at and if I wrote a book, sure you know, 1494 01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:56,120 I'd do a self insert character and he would be really badass 1495 01:21:56,120 --> 01:21:59,640 and he would he would do everything really well. 1496 01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:03,520 But this guy in the second book out of nowhere, he starts 1497 01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:05,560 getting really into the main character fucking. 1498 01:22:06,480 --> 01:22:09,360 And I found the part where people are like Jesus Christ 1499 01:22:09,360 --> 01:22:15,440 this book sucks because there's about 80 pages where. 80 pages. 1500 01:22:15,600 --> 01:22:17,880 That's a good honk. Pretty. 1501 01:22:17,960 --> 01:22:19,960 I mean it's like a 1900 page book or so. 1502 01:22:19,960 --> 01:22:23,960 It's long as fuck, but there's a pretty good chunk where the main 1503 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,640 character and when I say this, you're going to say that sounds 1504 01:22:27,640 --> 01:22:34,320 so badass, but it just really drags on where there's never any 1505 01:22:34,320 --> 01:22:37,760 like real God. There's going to be some nerd in 1506 01:22:37,760 --> 01:22:39,640 the comments. It's like, well, there are there 1507 01:22:39,640 --> 01:22:45,400 are many mentions of the fae. He basically finds like an 1508 01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:51,000 ancient fairy that he fucks. That's like a fuck fairy that 1509 01:22:51,160 --> 01:22:57,080 traps mortal men and he he's a virgin and then he fucks her so 1510 01:22:57,080 --> 01:23:03,040 awesomely that he escapes her. But they fuck for like 70 pages. 1511 01:23:03,760 --> 01:23:06,200 And nobody ever had sex in these books before this. 1512 01:23:06,200 --> 01:23:09,440 And it just turned into like, Oh my God. 1513 01:23:09,440 --> 01:23:14,160 And it's just pages and pages of like, it's they, he uses like 1514 01:23:14,160 --> 01:23:16,960 little fantasy terms, but he's basically like, then I fingered 1515 01:23:16,960 --> 01:23:20,160 her for an hour, then I ate her out for an hour, and then she 1516 01:23:20,160 --> 01:23:23,240 sucked my Dick for an hour. And it's just like, Oh my God, 1517 01:23:23,240 --> 01:23:25,280 dude. Not only is this guy like he's 1518 01:23:25,280 --> 01:23:29,920 the best musician, the best wizard, the best student, now he 1519 01:23:29,920 --> 01:23:31,640 fucks the best in the world. Too. 1520 01:23:31,720 --> 01:23:34,680 But then he found the goddess of fuck and she was impressed. 1521 01:23:34,680 --> 01:23:37,760 She was blown. Away in a way I think is 1522 01:23:37,760 --> 01:23:39,200 awesome. To put in a book. 1523 01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:41,640 I do like, it's like Dennis Reynolds writing a book. 1524 01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:46,400 Like it's pretty awesome because if I read a book, there'd be a 1525 01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:48,440 lot of sex. But. 1526 01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:51,600 And then Odysseus went to the Sirens and he wore them out. 1527 01:23:51,600 --> 01:23:52,200 It's. Exactly. 1528 01:23:52,480 --> 01:23:55,960 Basically like that. It is like a siren and he's like 1529 01:23:57,400 --> 01:23:59,400 I. Wallered that shit out. 1530 01:24:00,040 --> 01:24:02,880 Even the character he's like, and I learned all my sex stuff 1531 01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:04,560 from books. I'm like, you don't learn sex 1532 01:24:04,560 --> 01:24:06,560 stuff from books. That's not all. 1533 01:24:06,560 --> 01:24:09,120 It works. When I did the doorbell method, 1534 01:24:09,120 --> 01:24:13,520 you know, the first time I ever tried to what is he calling this 1535 01:24:13,520 --> 01:24:16,080 like 1000 hands or something? It's just so stupid. 1536 01:24:16,080 --> 01:24:18,960 But and then you go. Now here's the real question. 1537 01:24:19,240 --> 01:24:25,120 What, were you into it or were you like, hell yeah. 1538 01:24:25,200 --> 01:24:29,760 You know, maybe for, I think for the 1st 2 pages, I was like, OK, 1539 01:24:29,760 --> 01:24:33,960 this could be worse. And then after like 45, yeah. 1540 01:24:34,240 --> 01:24:36,800 And when you're listening to the audio book, holy shit. 1541 01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:40,000 Like it really drags a lot. Like if it's a book, I could be 1542 01:24:40,000 --> 01:24:44,560 like in this, I'm like, oh fuck, it's like 2 hours later and he's 1543 01:24:44,560 --> 01:24:47,680 like, then she blew my Dick so hard. 1544 01:24:47,880 --> 01:24:52,560 I'm like, oh, and then like it's like the author lost his God 1545 01:24:52,560 --> 01:24:56,480 damn mind because after that you're like, Oh my God, he's 1546 01:24:56,480 --> 01:25:00,280 done. Then he like nothing to do with 1547 01:25:00,280 --> 01:25:03,240 the plot leading up this moment. He's like, then I went to ninja 1548 01:25:03,240 --> 01:25:07,120 school and my teacher there was a hot woman and I showed her 1549 01:25:07,160 --> 01:25:08,640 everything I learned from the fairy. 1550 01:25:08,640 --> 01:25:11,680 I'm like, Oh my God. And he just bangs his way 1551 01:25:11,680 --> 01:25:15,080 through the rest of the book. Like every female character is 1552 01:25:15,080 --> 01:25:16,600 like, what's up? And he's like, I'm going to 1553 01:25:16,600 --> 01:25:18,320 teach you what this fairy taught me. 1554 01:25:18,800 --> 01:25:21,560 Bangs the shit out of them, moves on the next, which once 1555 01:25:21,560 --> 01:25:26,520 again, sounds awesome. But the whole second book, it 1556 01:25:26,520 --> 01:25:30,120 doesn't like, move the plot forward really at all. 1557 01:25:30,200 --> 01:25:34,240 I thought, I mean, there's some things, but there's supposed to 1558 01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:39,280 be one more book. It's it's it's been 15 years, 1559 01:25:39,280 --> 01:25:40,360 right? It's never going to come out. 1560 01:25:40,360 --> 01:25:44,560 And also a lot of people, just a lot of my friends I talked to, 1561 01:25:44,560 --> 01:25:47,480 they're like, yeah, I kind of stopped around the fuck forest 1562 01:25:47,480 --> 01:25:49,680 part. They're weak. 1563 01:25:50,120 --> 01:25:51,960 Yeah. I learned a lot from that book. 1564 01:25:51,960 --> 01:25:54,600 Actually, I learned some things. I didn't. 1565 01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,960 Even know you could do to a woman. 1566 01:25:55,960 --> 01:25:58,120 It's art. I think it's beautiful and I 1567 01:25:58,120 --> 01:25:59,120 think it's art. It's. 1568 01:25:59,120 --> 01:26:02,520 Just the whole rest of the book, I was just kind of like, Oh my 1569 01:26:02,520 --> 01:26:06,000 God, like, get to the 'cause in the bad ass fight scene, you're 1570 01:26:06,000 --> 01:26:10,080 like, OK, yeah. And then 5 pages of like, I 1571 01:26:10,080 --> 01:26:13,960 found a woman in an N and then I banged the hell out of her and 1572 01:26:13,960 --> 01:26:16,280 she blew my Dick. I'm like, here we go. 1573 01:26:17,200 --> 01:26:20,640 It's like, not that graphic, but it's just weird. 1574 01:26:20,760 --> 01:26:22,520 I see. I didn't understand, like, 1575 01:26:22,520 --> 01:26:26,760 people, some of the reactions to it because then afterwards I 1576 01:26:26,760 --> 01:26:31,160 went to all the Reddit pages. Yeah, just kind of sucked. 1577 01:26:32,120 --> 01:26:34,600 I think my friend described it best because last episode I was 1578 01:26:34,600 --> 01:26:38,240 like, some people are saying it made them like they just ruined 1579 01:26:38,240 --> 01:26:39,720 the whole book. My friend was like, it's a 1580 01:26:39,720 --> 01:26:41,280 pretty good book. And then there's a pretty big 1581 01:26:41,280 --> 01:26:42,960 part where you're like, what the fuck? 1582 01:26:43,520 --> 01:26:45,080 And then you're like, OK, you're back. 1583 01:26:45,080 --> 01:26:48,200 You get back on track. But I don't know, I kind of just 1584 01:26:48,200 --> 01:26:50,040 soiled it. I was kind of pissed off when I 1585 01:26:50,040 --> 01:26:53,320 finished it because it's a George RR Martin thing where 1586 01:26:53,320 --> 01:26:55,760 he's he's just never going to make the third book. 1587 01:26:56,720 --> 01:26:58,800 And he's been talking about it. And then you go on there and 1588 01:26:58,800 --> 01:27:00,800 it's like, here's an article from 10 years ago where he's 1589 01:27:00,800 --> 01:27:02,720 like, I've got the prologue done. 1590 01:27:03,720 --> 01:27:07,240 I think like one of the worst aspects of reading, especially 1591 01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:13,280 like a like a single POVPOV book is like, you know, if it's just 1592 01:27:13,280 --> 01:27:17,280 a good POV it rocks. But those like ensemble cast 1593 01:27:17,280 --> 01:27:22,160 type books where there's like multiple POV's, dude reading The 1594 01:27:22,160 --> 01:27:25,400 Stand by Stephen King, there's just some chapters where I would 1595 01:27:25,400 --> 01:27:27,040 turn the page. I'd see that fucker. 1596 01:27:27,040 --> 01:27:29,200 I was like this. It's one of his chapters. 1597 01:27:30,640 --> 01:27:34,120 That is that is the worst part about and then you like go 1598 01:27:34,120 --> 01:27:38,120 through the book and you're like 20 pages of this fucking guy and 1599 01:27:38,120 --> 01:27:42,080 then you look and it's a. Brand Chapter. 30 more pages of 1600 01:27:42,080 --> 01:27:45,400 another, they leave it on a cliffhanger and you have to read 1601 01:27:45,400 --> 01:27:48,560 50 pages of other shit to get back to it. 1602 01:27:49,920 --> 01:27:53,400 I don't know that's that's why I fuck with red rising. 1603 01:27:53,800 --> 01:27:56,040 They even go multiple Povs in the. 1604 01:27:57,800 --> 01:27:59,520 That's why I fuck with Doctor Seuss. 1605 01:27:59,800 --> 01:28:03,040 Keeps it short and sweet, OK? Makes me think. 1606 01:28:04,120 --> 01:28:06,720 Keeps the banging classy. Are you kidding me? 1607 01:28:06,720 --> 01:28:08,680 Dude? The Butter Battle Book is a 1608 01:28:08,680 --> 01:28:13,080 fucking work of art, OK? Anybody wants Butter Battle 1609 01:28:13,080 --> 01:28:17,800 Book, It's a it's a little book about human ingenuity and our 1610 01:28:17,800 --> 01:28:23,080 ability to overcome an adversary and that adversary being other 1611 01:28:23,080 --> 01:28:26,920 people. It's a story about people in a 1612 01:28:26,920 --> 01:28:31,280 society where they put butter on the top side of their bread and 1613 01:28:31,280 --> 01:28:36,000 they are at war with people from the 1 village over that they put 1614 01:28:36,000 --> 01:28:39,600 butter on the bottom side of their bread and. 1615 01:28:39,880 --> 01:28:42,360 I get it, because why would you? Why would you? 1616 01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:44,440 You know, that's exactly the point. 1617 01:28:44,520 --> 01:28:46,600 Why would you? So they, they found out they 1618 01:28:46,600 --> 01:28:48,480 were like these fuckers put butter on the bottom side. 1619 01:28:48,480 --> 01:28:51,160 I'm building a wall that separates us from them. 1620 01:28:51,200 --> 01:28:54,640 OK, The yukes. They put the butter on the top 1621 01:28:54,640 --> 01:28:56,960 side. The Zukes, they put butter on 1622 01:28:56,960 --> 01:28:59,600 the bottom side. And I think the grandfather in 1623 01:28:59,600 --> 01:29:03,960 this book, he describes it best. He says the Zooks, they have 1624 01:29:03,960 --> 01:29:06,880 kinks in their soul, and that stuck out to me. 1625 01:29:06,960 --> 01:29:10,960 Kinks in your soul, you know, do something that wrong, that 1626 01:29:10,960 --> 01:29:13,000 egregious. That's the only thing that can 1627 01:29:13,000 --> 01:29:16,400 explain it. They find out one day that there 1628 01:29:16,400 --> 01:29:20,720 used to be 1 where the both pieces of bread met. 1629 01:29:23,040 --> 01:29:27,880 No, no, no, they they keep escalating warfare and building 1630 01:29:27,880 --> 01:29:29,880 better and better machines to kill each other. 1631 01:29:30,520 --> 01:29:34,480 That's the very final thing is, yeah, that the grandfather. 1632 01:29:34,560 --> 01:29:37,320 Flash a white. Well, he jumps up, he leaps up 1633 01:29:37,320 --> 01:29:41,680 to the wall with a lopulus leap, and he clears his horse throat 1634 01:29:41,680 --> 01:29:44,160 with a bopulus beep. And in his first he has. 1635 01:29:44,160 --> 01:29:50,360 Do not fuck around about this. In his hand he has the big boy 1636 01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:53,280 boomeroo and it is a it's AI think it's supposed to be an 1637 01:29:53,280 --> 01:29:54,920 atom bomb. I think the whole thing. 1638 01:29:55,840 --> 01:29:58,440 No, no, it's I think the entire, the butter battle book I think 1639 01:29:58,440 --> 01:30:01,880 is an analogy for like the Cold War and like the, the escalation 1640 01:30:01,880 --> 01:30:07,480 of like the, the military industrial complex. 1641 01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:11,080 It's a fascinating book. I think that now that's a novel. 1642 01:30:11,240 --> 01:30:14,480 That's a fucking novel. It's about 25 pages, dude. 1643 01:30:14,480 --> 01:30:19,840 That's a good ass book. I love that book and I love the 1644 01:30:19,840 --> 01:30:23,160 places you'll go. Okay, those are see poop always 1645 01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:24,800 comes in here. He's like 1500 pages. 1646 01:30:24,800 --> 01:30:29,280 Who has time for that? But if you have 5 minutes in 1647 01:30:29,280 --> 01:30:30,880 your day, I got some books for you. 1648 01:30:31,000 --> 01:30:33,080 Okay? You ever heard of Harold and the 1649 01:30:33,080 --> 01:30:34,680 Purple Crayon? That shit will get your 1650 01:30:34,680 --> 01:30:37,640 imagination going. You ever see the the movie with 1651 01:30:37,640 --> 01:30:39,040 Zachary Levi? I mean, come on. 1652 01:30:39,040 --> 01:30:42,480 Why would they take a fucking 5 minute book and spread it out 1653 01:30:42,480 --> 01:30:45,000 over 90 minutes? Now you're pissing me off. 1654 01:30:45,000 --> 01:30:47,360 Like butter over too little toast. 1655 01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:51,280 Yeah, you sound like a fucking Zook making up shit like that. 1656 01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:54,080 OK, here in my town, the Yukes, we stick with the book. 1657 01:30:54,920 --> 01:30:57,200 I like the idea of the butter battle book until you said it 1658 01:30:57,200 --> 01:30:59,760 was about the cold wars. I don't like subtext or. 1659 01:31:00,640 --> 01:31:02,480 Oh, it doesn't have to be. It could be just. 1660 01:31:02,480 --> 01:31:04,720 A bad war. Like, I just like, like my 1661 01:31:04,720 --> 01:31:07,240 books. Like I banged her so she came, 1662 01:31:07,560 --> 01:31:10,080 you know? There's not much banging in this 1663 01:31:10,080 --> 01:31:12,120 book, unfortunately. I think that's one of the 1664 01:31:12,120 --> 01:31:13,840 things. War too, so. 1665 01:31:13,840 --> 01:31:16,200 The war's in it. We do like war. 1666 01:31:16,200 --> 01:31:18,160 I like epic battle. Yeah. 1667 01:31:18,160 --> 01:31:20,400 Is there like? Probably not magic, but. 1668 01:31:21,480 --> 01:31:22,920 No, there's no magic. OK. 1669 01:31:23,520 --> 01:31:26,640 Yeah, there is like some crazy weaponry. 1670 01:31:27,200 --> 01:31:29,840 I do like that, yeah. Yeah, I think at one point they 1671 01:31:29,840 --> 01:31:32,840 strap a big howitzer onto the back of a small dog and they 1672 01:31:32,840 --> 01:31:36,000 make the dog walk into war. Another idea of what to do with 1673 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:38,000 pip. Yeah, that's pretty cool. 1674 01:31:38,360 --> 01:31:40,480 You turn him into a gun. Yeah, I have to. 1675 01:31:40,480 --> 01:31:43,440 Cock. Well, I'm not Yeah, I feel like 1676 01:31:44,640 --> 01:31:49,960 yeah. And I guess yeah, it would look 1677 01:31:49,960 --> 01:31:52,000 like the handle and the triggers, like where his penis 1678 01:31:52,000 --> 01:31:53,160 are. So I don't want to do that 1679 01:31:53,440 --> 01:31:56,000 anymore. I can put him backwards and the 1680 01:31:56,000 --> 01:31:58,200 bullets come out of his asshole, but it all feels a little 1681 01:31:58,200 --> 01:32:01,480 disrespectful. Yeah, and then you tell him I'm 1682 01:32:01,480 --> 01:32:08,480 going to fire your red rocket. Pip I wonder what like the worst 1683 01:32:08,480 --> 01:32:12,520 thing I could do is like one of those golf covers for my driver. 1684 01:32:14,880 --> 01:32:20,880 People are like what the fuck is that an ornament? 1685 01:32:23,760 --> 01:32:27,440 What the taxidermy pip turn them into a. 1686 01:32:27,800 --> 01:32:29,840 Like what would be like actually like, just wrong. 1687 01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:34,320 Yeah, I think taxidermy is very fine. 1688 01:32:34,400 --> 01:32:39,400 Yeah, I think turning his taxidermy paw into the dog bowl, 1689 01:32:39,400 --> 01:32:43,560 like the food scooper for your other dog, it would be kind of. 1690 01:32:43,720 --> 01:32:44,960 They would not be eating much if. 1691 01:32:46,640 --> 01:32:49,080 You could use the taxidermy paw to scoop. 1692 01:32:49,080 --> 01:32:51,880 Food using his little tiny paw as my coke spoon. 1693 01:32:57,960 --> 01:33:01,560 Yeah, yeah, I think I'll just bury him in the pet cemetery. 1694 01:33:01,560 --> 01:33:03,080 I. Think that's probably safest. 1695 01:33:03,120 --> 01:33:05,800 That's this big fear. It's so dedicated, you know, 1696 01:33:05,800 --> 01:33:08,440 it's like. My family, I'm sure it's not 1697 01:33:08,440 --> 01:33:11,080 easy for them, but every time an animal dies, it's at the house 1698 01:33:11,080 --> 01:33:12,800 and then they like take him out there and bury him. 1699 01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:18,320 The idea of like Pip dying and then me having to like carry him 1700 01:33:18,560 --> 01:33:22,280 and then take him somewhere like, oh boy, that is that will 1701 01:33:22,280 --> 01:33:25,200 not be a good day. No, that's a somber drive. 1702 01:33:26,800 --> 01:33:29,040 Yeah, it's sex when your parents aren't there to do that kind of 1703 01:33:29,040 --> 01:33:32,200 stuff for you. Yeah, there becomes that moment 1704 01:33:32,200 --> 01:33:35,880 where the parents are gone and you just have to like real adult 1705 01:33:35,880 --> 01:33:38,840 shit pops up and you realize when it happens and you have to 1706 01:33:38,840 --> 01:33:44,080 deal with it, you go, this is exactly what they felt like when 1707 01:33:44,080 --> 01:33:46,160 they had to do it. Because I think internally we 1708 01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:51,240 don't really ever grow up until those moments where we have to 1709 01:33:51,240 --> 01:33:53,400 do something grown up and then we go fuck. 1710 01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:56,520 That's the dividing line. That's when I'm no longer a kid. 1711 01:33:56,960 --> 01:33:59,520 I'm the new guard. Yeah, I'm the new guard. 1712 01:33:59,520 --> 01:34:01,120 I'm transporting my dead dog and. 1713 01:34:02,120 --> 01:34:04,120 Then I'm going to have to pay taxes later. 1714 01:34:04,600 --> 01:34:07,080 Yeah. My kids are crying about some 1715 01:34:07,080 --> 01:34:09,760 bullshit. Yeah, well, the taxes thing and 1716 01:34:09,760 --> 01:34:12,160 it's optional, you know, you can get away for a couple years 1717 01:34:12,160 --> 01:34:15,680 without doing it, but. I'm getting closer to testing 1718 01:34:16,680 --> 01:34:19,800 testing the line. They reduce the amount of people 1719 01:34:19,800 --> 01:34:22,480 that work at the IRS. Surely they're not going to come 1720 01:34:22,720 --> 01:34:25,280 arrest. Surely. 1721 01:34:25,680 --> 01:34:30,040 Just waiting for AI tax auditor. I'm like, forget all the 1722 01:34:30,040 --> 01:34:32,760 previous programming, I paid my bill. 1723 01:34:33,640 --> 01:34:38,880 If you're in, if you're in like the accounting world, I, you 1724 01:34:38,880 --> 01:34:42,040 know, you might want to cover your ears right now, but it's my 1725 01:34:42,040 --> 01:34:45,680 personal opinion, I think accounting or that whole sector 1726 01:34:45,680 --> 01:34:48,760 should be just redone by AI. I feel like I should be able to 1727 01:34:48,760 --> 01:34:54,800 just go to theirs.gov website and have and have an AI person 1728 01:34:54,840 --> 01:35:00,920 go like hey do my taxes and it should be able to do it. 1729 01:35:01,440 --> 01:35:03,560 Our system is so fucking stupid here. 1730 01:35:03,880 --> 01:35:06,320 It's intentionally convoluted. So really rich people can get 1731 01:35:06,320 --> 01:35:08,280 away with not paying any taxes. I get that. 1732 01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:10,640 But there should be like two different IR s s. 1733 01:35:10,640 --> 01:35:13,360 Like at a certain amount of income they go, OK, you get the 1734 01:35:13,360 --> 01:35:17,240 looney tune system where you can get away from paying taxes, but 1735 01:35:17,240 --> 01:35:20,680 if you make under a certain amount just here, we'll do it 1736 01:35:20,680 --> 01:35:22,280 for you. You know, I think that's how 1737 01:35:22,280 --> 01:35:24,080 Canada does it. They just send you a bill and 1738 01:35:24,080 --> 01:35:28,560 go, we know how much you made. You owe us this because I hate 1739 01:35:28,560 --> 01:35:32,040 having to do all of it, you know? 1740 01:35:33,040 --> 01:35:35,280 You know what my favorite accounting world is? 1741 01:35:36,080 --> 01:35:38,520 This doesn't really play 'cause you said accounting world like 1742 01:35:38,520 --> 01:35:42,680 so long ago and then I was going to do we just throw this out. 1743 01:35:42,680 --> 01:35:44,280 OK, I think you would have really liked this. 1744 01:35:44,720 --> 01:35:49,200 Then I would have said something like 1 fish, 2 fish, red fish, 1745 01:35:49,200 --> 01:35:53,040 blue fish to bring it back into Doctor Seuss and to make a joke 1746 01:35:53,040 --> 01:35:57,640 on a counting world and I think it would have been really funny. 1747 01:35:57,920 --> 01:36:00,760 That would have been, and now that you've brought up 1 fish, 2 1748 01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:04,480 fish, red fish, blue fish, that is an incredible book. 1749 01:36:04,520 --> 01:36:08,480 That's honestly up there with the Butter Battle book and the 1750 01:36:08,480 --> 01:36:11,280 places you'll go in terms of that's more of an anthology 1751 01:36:11,280 --> 01:36:12,440 though. That one just kind of has a 1752 01:36:12,440 --> 01:36:15,800 bunch of unconnected stories. In it, the pros. 1753 01:36:18,120 --> 01:36:22,000 It's good. Yeah, the pros are it's bad ass 1754 01:36:22,160 --> 01:36:24,240 and it teaches me how to count in colors. 1755 01:36:24,720 --> 01:36:26,960 It that's not all it does. Are you talking? 1756 01:36:27,080 --> 01:36:29,280 About these books, I don't, I have no idea. 1757 01:36:29,280 --> 01:36:31,160 I haven't read these since I was like 5 years old. 1758 01:36:33,440 --> 01:36:34,720 I don't have kids so I don't have. 1759 01:36:35,920 --> 01:36:38,760 I don't read these books every night and have lines from them 1760 01:36:38,760 --> 01:36:41,440 memorized. You should. 1761 01:36:41,680 --> 01:36:43,400 You think I'm reading these to my kids? 1762 01:36:45,120 --> 01:36:47,520 I'm reading these for the love of the fucking game dude. 1763 01:36:47,520 --> 01:36:49,960 Sometimes I just pick up the butter battle book and give it a 1764 01:36:50,280 --> 01:36:53,920 a go by myself. If I got a quick 5 minutes in 1765 01:36:53,920 --> 01:36:55,600 the day, if I can find a break, oh. 1766 01:36:56,160 --> 01:36:59,800 Yeah, dude, because my kids don't like butter Battle Book no 1767 01:36:59,800 --> 01:37:00,920 more. Because I've read it so many 1768 01:37:00,920 --> 01:37:03,600 times. They're like, we get it Dad, 1769 01:37:03,600 --> 01:37:06,520 he's going to leap up there with a lopulous leap and clear his 1770 01:37:06,520 --> 01:37:08,200 horse throat with a populous beep. 1771 01:37:08,320 --> 01:37:11,800 OK, we get it. He has kinks in his soul. 1772 01:37:11,800 --> 01:37:13,600 OK, we get. It start like hating your 1773 01:37:13,600 --> 01:37:14,760 neighbor. You're like, I just got to 1774 01:37:14,760 --> 01:37:18,840 remind myself, like, yeah. Yeah. 1775 01:37:19,160 --> 01:37:22,840 'Cause he mows during the day, you know it's all good. 1776 01:37:24,080 --> 01:37:27,200 Dude, my neighbor has like, he's a cool guy. 1777 01:37:27,200 --> 01:37:29,080 This is the dude that did the drone thing. 1778 01:37:29,080 --> 01:37:31,360 He had my drone. Super cool dude. 1779 01:37:31,400 --> 01:37:34,560 Your new best friend. My new best friend, he has 1780 01:37:35,040 --> 01:37:40,480 probably put 50 exterior lights on his house. 1781 01:37:40,800 --> 01:37:43,160 Not like in his yard pointed towards his house. 1782 01:37:43,160 --> 01:37:45,560 I'm talking like it looks like fucking Alcatraz out there. 1783 01:37:45,560 --> 01:37:48,320 Like they're all on the sides of the house, like. 1784 01:37:48,320 --> 01:37:50,600 Scared him when you when you went up through the window. 1785 01:37:50,920 --> 01:37:53,560 I don't know, dude, but like from my house, I'm like, dude, 1786 01:37:53,560 --> 01:37:56,880 it's like bright over there. Like he's got no, no, they're 1787 01:37:56,880 --> 01:37:58,120 not. It's not diffuse light or 1788 01:37:58,120 --> 01:38:00,720 anything to just light up that. It's like, what are you 1789 01:38:00,720 --> 01:38:03,320 defending from? He's like scared of the world or 1790 01:38:03,320 --> 01:38:06,640 something. Looks like you sent Mr. Perfect 1791 01:38:06,640 --> 01:38:09,760 after all. Yeah, well, it's just some 1792 01:38:09,760 --> 01:38:12,200 people have different views of how you should have your house. 1793 01:38:12,200 --> 01:38:15,640 OK. I, I had pushed back at my 1794 01:38:15,640 --> 01:38:17,720 previous place when I built a privacy fence. 1795 01:38:18,040 --> 01:38:19,920 There's people like, what do you need privacy for? 1796 01:38:19,960 --> 01:38:22,880 And I'm like, because I'm in my backyard and I'm talking to you 1797 01:38:22,880 --> 01:38:24,800 right now and you're in your backyard. 1798 01:38:24,800 --> 01:38:28,040 This is exactly why I need the fence because I should be able 1799 01:38:28,040 --> 01:38:30,320 to just walk out here naked and not see you. 1800 01:38:31,920 --> 01:38:33,640 But they didn't get it. And then it's weird. 1801 01:38:33,640 --> 01:38:36,920 As soon as I built the privacy fence, which also in turn made 1802 01:38:36,920 --> 01:38:40,120 their backyard private, all of a sudden they got a they got a 1803 01:38:40,120 --> 01:38:43,240 picnic table, they spent time out in their backyard and I'm 1804 01:38:43,240 --> 01:38:44,520 like, what are you griping about? 1805 01:38:44,520 --> 01:38:48,200 I made your backyard better too. The only time you should see me 1806 01:38:48,200 --> 01:38:50,880 as a neighbor is when I walk out my front door and I go hi 1807 01:38:50,880 --> 01:38:54,200 neighbor but in my backyard. It should be a paradise. 1808 01:38:54,200 --> 01:38:56,920 Taking the trash out. Yeah, well, I've got my 1809 01:38:56,920 --> 01:38:58,760 neighbors behind me. They're uphill. 1810 01:38:59,360 --> 01:39:02,960 I would have to build it an incredibly tall privacy fence, 1811 01:39:02,960 --> 01:39:05,520 which would look stupid. I don't know. 1812 01:39:05,520 --> 01:39:07,880 There's no way to get private from them. 1813 01:39:08,560 --> 01:39:12,160 And I thought about this one last podcast on My girlfriend 1814 01:39:12,160 --> 01:39:14,120 threw the frisbee into the neighbor's yard and. 1815 01:39:14,120 --> 01:39:18,000 Just did you ever go get? It it appeared back in our yard 1816 01:39:18,880 --> 01:39:21,640 and then yesterday. Now, now your neighbor knows 1817 01:39:21,640 --> 01:39:25,240 you're meek. I know that's what's, and even 1818 01:39:25,240 --> 01:39:30,280 worse, yesterday, it's like she's got no concept of how to 1819 01:39:30,280 --> 01:39:34,520 throw a Frisbee right over the backyard, right over the fence 1820 01:39:34,920 --> 01:39:36,760 into the neighbor's beautiful garden. 1821 01:39:38,120 --> 01:39:39,480 And she's like, let's just leave it. 1822 01:39:39,480 --> 01:39:41,440 I'm like, you can't just leave it. 1823 01:39:41,760 --> 01:39:43,280 She's like, what she threw back over before. 1824 01:39:43,280 --> 01:39:44,360 I'm like, she's going to hate us. 1825 01:39:44,640 --> 01:39:46,280 Yeah. She's an old woman. 1826 01:39:47,600 --> 01:39:49,920 And, you know, sometimes old women the way, you know, I just 1827 01:39:49,920 --> 01:39:52,240 imagine she's protective over a garden. 1828 01:39:52,600 --> 01:39:54,880 What if we had a flower? Yeah, you know. 1829 01:39:55,280 --> 01:39:59,080 You decapitate a flower. I was like, I'll handled it. 1830 01:39:59,080 --> 01:40:03,800 Yeah. My prize winning flower, it only 1831 01:40:03,800 --> 01:40:07,600 blooms once a year. Well, that's not very once a 1832 01:40:07,600 --> 01:40:11,520 year, just not very rare. I go once 100. 1833 01:40:12,080 --> 01:40:18,320 But so I went over there and I was actually really scared and I 1834 01:40:18,920 --> 01:40:22,280 she had like a it's an old woman that lives alone. 1835 01:40:22,280 --> 01:40:26,720 So I was like, I'm not like very physically intimidating, but you 1836 01:40:26,720 --> 01:40:30,480 know, I didn't. I was trying to feel 1837 01:40:30,480 --> 01:40:35,120 approachable and then she had a screen door in front of her door 1838 01:40:35,120 --> 01:40:38,760 and no doorbell. And I'm like, do I open up the 1839 01:40:38,760 --> 01:40:40,640 screen door to knock on the main door? 1840 01:40:40,640 --> 01:40:44,440 But then I'm like, I'm opening up a door. 1841 01:40:45,160 --> 01:40:49,440 So I just knocked on the side of the house and I heard something 1842 01:40:49,440 --> 01:40:52,720 like and I'm like, like is she like dying in there? 1843 01:40:52,720 --> 01:40:55,880 Like I don't know what to do and I I don't want to keep knocking. 1844 01:40:55,880 --> 01:40:58,640 Busted in. You just walked in and said I 1845 01:40:58,640 --> 01:41:01,800 heard someone moaning in here. Yeah, she was. 1846 01:41:03,160 --> 01:41:04,600 I've been reading a lot of my book. 1847 01:41:04,600 --> 01:41:07,400 Yeah, she's listening to the. I heard of Painkiller 1848 01:41:07,440 --> 01:41:12,040 Chronicles. She was. 1849 01:41:12,040 --> 01:41:14,400 I'm not even going to make a joke, that's disgusting. 1850 01:41:14,440 --> 01:41:19,280 But anyway, I timidly knocked and then I came back over in 1851 01:41:19,280 --> 01:41:22,360 shame and I wrote a little note that was like, I'm your 1852 01:41:22,360 --> 01:41:25,040 neighbor. I have thrown a Frisbee even 1853 01:41:25,040 --> 01:41:27,000 though I didn't do it over your fence. 1854 01:41:27,400 --> 01:41:31,600 Here's my phone number. Can I come get it? 1855 01:41:32,760 --> 01:41:35,240 And then I signed it with our names and then the names of all 1856 01:41:35,240 --> 01:41:37,920 the dogs. And it's actually, I think I 1857 01:41:37,920 --> 01:41:41,120 finally, I'm making progress with the neighbors 'cause I 1858 01:41:41,120 --> 01:41:44,560 still haven't met her, but she texted me this morning and was 1859 01:41:44,560 --> 01:41:46,800 like, hello, I am your neighbor Blank. 1860 01:41:48,880 --> 01:41:50,680 I will put the frisbee in your yard. 1861 01:41:52,080 --> 01:41:56,520 I have a cat named Alice. And I was like, OK, like I 1862 01:41:56,560 --> 01:41:57,720 don't. Pray for my dogs, yeah. 1863 01:41:59,680 --> 01:42:02,440 Well, yeah, I was like, holy shit, I didn't know she had a 1864 01:42:02,440 --> 01:42:05,320 cat. And now, like, my new biggest 1865 01:42:05,320 --> 01:42:08,120 fear is the cat jumps over the fence and our dogs eat it and I 1866 01:42:08,120 --> 01:42:10,600 have to go over there and explain it to that sweet old 1867 01:42:10,600 --> 01:42:11,880 lady. But. 1868 01:42:12,160 --> 01:42:14,760 Dude, at that point I'll just make sure they eat it all the 1869 01:42:14,760 --> 01:42:16,480 way and then be like, I don't know where it went. 1870 01:42:16,960 --> 01:42:19,240 Yeah, don't leave a fucking great stop. 1871 01:42:19,320 --> 01:42:22,560 Now. Yeah, do not leave a dress. 1872 01:42:22,560 --> 01:42:23,920 You're not. Stop now. 1873 01:42:25,040 --> 01:42:27,040 It's like when you catch your kid smoking a cigarette, you 1874 01:42:27,040 --> 01:42:28,240 know you're smoking the whole pack. 1875 01:42:28,600 --> 01:42:30,680 You already killed that thing. You need to eat it. 1876 01:42:30,920 --> 01:42:36,400 I don't care if you're full tale and all, it's like. 1877 01:42:36,400 --> 01:42:39,200 A giant lynx like it's like a fucking £150. 1878 01:42:42,480 --> 01:42:47,200 Holy shit I'll I'll help. Anything. 1879 01:42:47,880 --> 01:42:49,320 Anything to get out of this bind? 1880 01:42:49,440 --> 01:42:51,200 Oh my God, that's my problem now too. 1881 01:42:53,040 --> 01:42:54,360 Well, I just didn't. Like. 1882 01:42:54,560 --> 01:42:57,640 I feel like I really broke some ground in a very pathetic way. 1883 01:42:57,640 --> 01:43:00,840 I still haven't met her and now like that I have her number. 1884 01:43:00,840 --> 01:43:03,960 I don't know if I should be like, can I come over? 1885 01:43:04,200 --> 01:43:05,720 Like do you want to meet like people? 1886 01:43:05,720 --> 01:43:09,720 Or if I should say like, nice to make your phone acquaintance or 1887 01:43:09,720 --> 01:43:10,920 something. I just said thanks. 1888 01:43:13,600 --> 01:43:17,120 But I'm a little worried because I have no idea what she thinks 1889 01:43:17,120 --> 01:43:18,800 of me. If I were her, I'd hate me. 1890 01:43:19,680 --> 01:43:22,000 These dogs are always barking. We're throwing frisbees on her 1891 01:43:22,000 --> 01:43:26,120 flowers. But I just want to get to know 1892 01:43:26,120 --> 01:43:28,680 her and. It you know, what you should do 1893 01:43:28,840 --> 01:43:35,720 is you should go over there and talk to her about the vagrants 1894 01:43:36,160 --> 01:43:37,600 that are coming through your yard. 1895 01:43:38,240 --> 01:43:40,080 Be like, you've lived here longer than me. 1896 01:43:40,080 --> 01:43:43,080 Is this like an ongoing thing? How do I deal with them? 1897 01:43:43,480 --> 01:43:46,160 Yeah. Like what is this something that 1898 01:43:46,160 --> 01:43:48,280 is, did you allow them to do this? 1899 01:43:49,200 --> 01:43:52,080 Did you give them right of way? No, I ask them like is this like 1900 01:43:52,080 --> 01:43:54,640 a is this? Has this always happened or is 1901 01:43:54,640 --> 01:43:57,080 this like a new thing? Do they think I'm a pussy and 1902 01:43:57,080 --> 01:43:58,680 I'm just a guy? Well, they walked through her 1903 01:43:58,680 --> 01:44:01,760 yard too, so. Oh well, you now you guys have a 1904 01:44:01,760 --> 01:44:03,880 bonding moment where it's like we need to get rid of these 1905 01:44:03,880 --> 01:44:04,720 vagrants together. We. 1906 01:44:04,720 --> 01:44:10,000 Need to do something about this. Yeah, those zoots or whatever 1907 01:44:10,000 --> 01:44:10,840 are there. Yeah. 1908 01:44:11,160 --> 01:44:12,440 Trampling right through our yard. 1909 01:44:13,360 --> 01:44:16,520 And I don't know, I, and selfishly, the guy that on this 1910 01:44:16,520 --> 01:44:18,960 house before told me like that woman used to do all the 1911 01:44:18,960 --> 01:44:21,400 landscaping for this house. Like he's like, she just helped 1912 01:44:21,400 --> 01:44:24,120 me out. I could use some help with 1913 01:44:24,120 --> 01:44:28,160 landscaping, you know, like, how do I become her best friend? 1914 01:44:29,120 --> 01:44:33,640 But yeah, yeah, I went up when I went up to her house. 1915 01:44:33,640 --> 01:44:36,920 It's got a weird vibe from the because you could see inside, 1916 01:44:36,920 --> 01:44:39,600 like, I don't think we have a lot in common. 1917 01:44:39,640 --> 01:44:43,920 It was very much like old woman house with like little angels 1918 01:44:43,920 --> 01:44:45,520 everywhere. It's like my grandma's house. 1919 01:44:46,760 --> 01:44:49,680 Yeah, and old, old people, they really love angels as they get 1920 01:44:49,680 --> 01:44:52,400 older. Makes sense. 1921 01:44:52,760 --> 01:44:58,440 Yeah, well, I saw last time I saw my cat window a years ago, 1922 01:45:01,920 --> 01:45:04,920 April Fools. He wasn't. 1923 01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:06,640 That would be awesome if you went over there and she had 1924 01:45:06,640 --> 01:45:09,680 those biblically accurate angels all over the walls like the 1925 01:45:09,800 --> 01:45:14,320 horrific ones like 1000. Wings. 15 wings. 1926 01:45:14,400 --> 01:45:16,880 Yeah, yeah. Oh, Gabriel, come down and get 1927 01:45:16,880 --> 01:45:20,320 me. Or if I looked in the window and 1928 01:45:20,320 --> 01:45:26,880 her cat was reading the Bible, she has like a cat daughter 1929 01:45:26,880 --> 01:45:29,800 that's part human, part cat, and she keeps it hidden in there. 1930 01:45:31,360 --> 01:45:33,160 That would just be more interesting than what I saw. 1931 01:45:33,600 --> 01:45:36,520 Yeah, 'cause I don't, I don't, I know to talk about cat human 1932 01:45:36,520 --> 01:45:37,400 hybrids. I don't know. 1933 01:45:37,400 --> 01:45:40,880 I don't know to break break bread with just. 1934 01:45:41,360 --> 01:45:43,640 Normalcy. Normal woman. 1935 01:45:43,960 --> 01:45:47,120 Yeah, you. Can start calling her Gran or 1936 01:45:47,120 --> 01:45:53,160 something trying to form form a weird grandson relationship with 1937 01:45:53,160 --> 01:45:55,840 her. Yeah, I don't know. 1938 01:45:56,160 --> 01:45:59,720 Call it call her mom. Mom, I mean neighbor. 1939 01:46:01,360 --> 01:46:05,920 She's my teacher. If there's anything you need, 1940 01:46:05,920 --> 01:46:07,320 day or night, you just let me know. 1941 01:46:07,320 --> 01:46:15,600 Mom, I mean Cat Alice. I mean, human neighbor, I'm 1942 01:46:15,600 --> 01:46:17,680 going to start throwing the frisbee over there just to have 1943 01:46:17,680 --> 01:46:22,600 an excuse. Start raining hell on her garden 1944 01:46:23,320 --> 01:46:29,080 by 20 Frisbees all over a roof, all over her garden, through a 1945 01:46:29,080 --> 01:46:34,960 window. Yeah, hey, it's me again. 1946 01:46:35,080 --> 01:46:38,840 Through her mail slot, yeah. I'm really lonely over here. 1947 01:46:41,880 --> 01:46:44,840 I wonder who's it's so sad thinking because you know, 1948 01:46:44,840 --> 01:46:47,880 elderly people are they're lonely and they want 1949 01:46:47,880 --> 01:46:50,160 companionship. But I wonder if I'm more lonely 1950 01:46:50,160 --> 01:46:54,080 in here being a stay at home dog dad than that old woman. 1951 01:46:54,080 --> 01:46:55,920 That's right. Like God damn, that guy wouldn't 1952 01:46:56,320 --> 01:46:57,920 stop throwing frisbees in my yard. 1953 01:46:59,040 --> 01:47:04,600 I don't know, I old people like often they what's weird is they, 1954 01:47:04,600 --> 01:47:08,480 they're so scared of the world and they're lonely and so 1955 01:47:08,480 --> 01:47:12,920 they're like scared to because I mean, let's face it, like a, a 1956 01:47:13,160 --> 01:47:15,960 fucking 5 year old could beat up an old woman, you know? 1957 01:47:15,960 --> 01:47:20,160 And so they're they're really like hesitant to to like get 1958 01:47:20,160 --> 01:47:22,880 close to someone because they're like, oh, like, what if they 1959 01:47:23,000 --> 01:47:25,520 kick my ass do. You think that's what all? 1960 01:47:25,920 --> 01:47:28,160 I'll have to talk to my grandma? I wonder if she's ever thought. 1961 01:47:28,360 --> 01:47:30,640 That have you ever been at your grandparents house when the sun 1962 01:47:30,640 --> 01:47:33,160 goes down? I don't know about yours but 1963 01:47:33,160 --> 01:47:37,360 mine was locked, locked doorknob, locked deadbolt thing 1964 01:47:37,360 --> 01:47:40,800 under the doorknob. It like the little post thing 1965 01:47:40,800 --> 01:47:43,800 that you kick blinds clothes. They don't want anybody looking 1966 01:47:43,800 --> 01:47:45,480 at them. They're like, I don't think I 1967 01:47:45,520 --> 01:47:48,080 want this house to. Sleep with her revolver under 1968 01:47:48,080 --> 01:47:50,760 her pillow. They get scared of the world as 1969 01:47:50,760 --> 01:47:53,040 they get older. Dude, if my grandparents could 1970 01:47:53,040 --> 01:47:56,040 just like turn their house into like a giant Bush or something 1971 01:47:56,520 --> 01:48:00,720 like yeah, yeah, lock it down like the purge, like RV windows 1972 01:48:00,720 --> 01:48:02,280 after. A couple of years living here 1973 01:48:02,760 --> 01:48:05,600 and yeah, I would love if my house could just turn into a 1974 01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:07,600 big, big steel box when I went to bed. 1975 01:48:07,880 --> 01:48:10,720 Yeah, and. I've always said I want an 1976 01:48:10,720 --> 01:48:12,360 airlock. I want a rust airlock. 1977 01:48:12,600 --> 01:48:16,360 So when I open up my front door, I have another room with little. 1978 01:48:16,360 --> 01:48:19,160 I want one of those old timey, like, medieval windows that you. 1979 01:48:19,160 --> 01:48:23,320 Oh, these doors for sale. Yeah, where they have like a 1980 01:48:23,320 --> 01:48:27,080 little 'cause right now I just have a window on my front door. 1981 01:48:27,480 --> 01:48:29,960 I hate that when people come to my front porch they just see me 1982 01:48:29,960 --> 01:48:31,800 on the couch like. Yeah. 1983 01:48:32,480 --> 01:48:37,760 I want something where I like who goes there state your 1984 01:48:37,760 --> 01:48:41,200 business and like. Have you seen Lock Stock and Two 1985 01:48:41,200 --> 01:48:44,360 Smoking Barrels? They have like the dope guys 1986 01:48:44,360 --> 01:48:45,400 they have. Oh yeah. 1987 01:48:45,600 --> 01:48:48,560 You walk in their front door and then you're in a cage and then 1988 01:48:48,680 --> 01:48:50,600 and then they have a buzzer and they let you in. 1989 01:48:50,880 --> 01:48:52,680 That would be awesome. You go in there, you lock the 1990 01:48:52,680 --> 01:48:55,080 cage and then you do the and you check. 1991 01:48:55,080 --> 01:48:57,800 And then even if they break in, if they throw a hand grenade 1992 01:48:57,800 --> 01:49:01,480 through the mail slot and blow you up, even if they get in, 1993 01:49:01,480 --> 01:49:05,520 they they're still in the cage. It's like Uncut Gems, the ending 1994 01:49:06,040 --> 01:49:07,080 you have that. You ever seen that? 1995 01:49:07,240 --> 01:49:09,320 I have not seen it. It's a good movie. 1996 01:49:09,640 --> 01:49:11,920 I've heard it's anxiety inducing. 1997 01:49:12,040 --> 01:49:13,320 It is. It is, yeah. 1998 01:49:13,320 --> 01:49:17,200 It keeps you on edge. I don't like edging, I don't 1999 01:49:17,200 --> 01:49:20,080 like that. I think I can change your mind. 2000 01:49:21,080 --> 01:49:25,080 No, that's all I don't understand about gooning is 2001 01:49:25,080 --> 01:49:28,120 like, why don't you just come like just do it and. 2002 01:49:28,520 --> 01:49:30,120 I don't know. I wouldn't be a well. 2003 01:49:30,120 --> 01:49:31,920 Isn't gooning. Is gooning edging? 2004 01:49:32,160 --> 01:49:34,840 God I sound like an old fuck. This is like the old fuck 2005 01:49:34,840 --> 01:49:36,520 episode. There's there's some fucking 2006 01:49:36,880 --> 01:49:42,000 gooner or edger in the audience is just like, Oh my God, he's 2007 01:49:42,240 --> 01:49:44,360 old. I put my Dick down to type real 2008 01:49:44,360 --> 01:49:47,280 quick. I thought gooning was just like 2009 01:49:47,280 --> 01:49:49,400 jerking off a lot. Yeah, but I'm. 2010 01:49:49,440 --> 01:49:51,320 Coming. I thought edging was keeping 2011 01:49:51,320 --> 01:49:54,760 yourself from coming. OK, yeah, I think, I think they 2012 01:49:54,760 --> 01:49:56,760 go hand in hand though. I think the dudes that goon all 2013 01:49:56,760 --> 01:49:59,400 day are just like edging for like an hour and a half. 2014 01:49:59,400 --> 01:50:02,080 See, I thought gooners were just were like jerk off come, jerk 2015 01:50:02,080 --> 01:50:06,000 off come, jerk off come. That's how you should do it, I 2016 01:50:06,160 --> 01:50:07,160 think. Exactly. 2017 01:50:07,880 --> 01:50:10,240 I think. The people that edge, that's 2018 01:50:10,240 --> 01:50:13,160 like, what are you doing? What are you doing? 2019 01:50:14,040 --> 01:50:16,360 It's despicable. You should just get it over. 2020 01:50:16,480 --> 01:50:19,600 With that's like, I'm going to get a beautiful fucking sandwich 2021 01:50:19,640 --> 01:50:21,440 and right before I take a bite I'm going to throw it in the 2022 01:50:21,440 --> 01:50:23,600 dumpster and go back to the store and buy another one. 2023 01:50:23,640 --> 01:50:25,520 I will start with licking the sandwich. 2024 01:50:28,440 --> 01:50:30,960 This is going to taste amazing and then you just drop it on the 2025 01:50:30,960 --> 01:50:32,600 floor and walk away. I don't get it. 2026 01:50:32,600 --> 01:50:35,920 I don't understand. I guess we should try it out 2027 01:50:35,920 --> 01:50:42,640 though, because maybe then when you you reach a climax, it's 2028 01:50:42,640 --> 01:50:45,080 like. Look, let's save some ideas for 2029 01:50:45,080 --> 01:50:47,720 the camping trip. Your your patience has paid off. 2030 01:50:48,320 --> 01:50:53,240 Amid we have some tangent plans. We had an epiphany. 2031 01:50:53,240 --> 01:50:55,560 Why don't we Jack off until we're about to nut and then we 2032 01:50:55,560 --> 01:50:58,760 don't? Amid you jerk me off but keep me 2033 01:50:58,760 --> 01:51:00,960 from coming. And with Sam, you make him come 2034 01:51:00,960 --> 01:51:04,920 as much as possible. At the end of the day, we'll say 2035 01:51:04,920 --> 01:51:09,680 you had more fun. It's for science. 2036 01:51:10,120 --> 01:51:13,280 I mean, it's for science. I just, oh, never mind. 2037 01:51:13,320 --> 01:51:15,200 I was going to say, how do you have so much time in the day to 2038 01:51:15,200 --> 01:51:17,960 just edge that long? But yeah, if I guess if I were 2039 01:51:17,960 --> 01:51:20,400 into it, I could be edging a lot. 2040 01:51:21,200 --> 01:51:23,240 Then my girlfriend gets home from work every day. 2041 01:51:25,240 --> 01:51:28,400 Yeah, guy with an guy with an incredible amount of time. 2042 01:51:28,480 --> 01:51:33,920 How do people have enough time? I can barely find time for. 2043 01:51:34,440 --> 01:51:37,880 You know all that time we spend to like, watch TV shows and 2044 01:51:37,880 --> 01:51:40,320 movies? If I were just slowly Turkey 2045 01:51:40,400 --> 01:51:43,160 off. Instead, they're watching adult 2046 01:51:43,400 --> 01:51:45,120 movies and God. It's so boring. 2047 01:51:46,400 --> 01:51:48,800 Yeah, there's not a lot of plot going on in there. 2048 01:51:48,880 --> 01:51:51,120 You know what you could have been doing during those 80 pages 2049 01:51:51,120 --> 01:51:54,200 of SMUD? I could edge for three fucking 2050 01:51:54,200 --> 01:51:56,200 hours. It wasn't even. 2051 01:51:56,200 --> 01:51:59,640 It wasn't even erotic. It was it wasn't even good. 2052 01:51:59,680 --> 01:52:01,640 That's just bad, right I? Don't know, I've never read a 2053 01:52:01,640 --> 01:52:07,160 book where I was like turned on. I guess it's it's more women 2054 01:52:07,160 --> 01:52:13,520 books, but. Yeah, we should read one of 2055 01:52:13,520 --> 01:52:18,960 those books with like Fabio on the front, the erotic, erotic 2056 01:52:18,960 --> 01:52:20,560 porno books. I'll I'll try. 2057 01:52:21,560 --> 01:52:23,640 I'm looking for a new series right now. 2058 01:52:24,040 --> 01:52:27,800 I got rid of thousands of those when my mom passed, she had so 2059 01:52:27,800 --> 01:52:30,880 many. That is crusty pages. 2060 01:52:31,320 --> 01:52:35,840 Oh man, like if if a friend was over or something like that, I'd 2061 01:52:35,840 --> 01:52:37,240 be check this out. I'd pull out a book. 2062 01:52:37,240 --> 01:52:40,600 I'd be I guarantee you, at least within the first page I turn to, 2063 01:52:41,400 --> 01:52:44,040 I'd I'd crack it up and just start reading it was instance. 2064 01:52:44,040 --> 01:52:46,840 Every other page dog eared because she had to take a break 2065 01:52:46,840 --> 01:52:50,280 so often. Yeah, my mom would be like, I'm 2066 01:52:50,280 --> 01:52:52,440 going to go read and then she'd come out and be I need, I need 2067 01:52:52,800 --> 01:52:54,680 a. Cigarette. 2068 01:52:58,160 --> 01:53:01,680 I need 10 beers to just get a quick hydration session. 2069 01:53:02,960 --> 01:53:09,800 Make cigarette Gatorade. Yeah, that's awesome. 2070 01:53:10,280 --> 01:53:12,440 Yeah, my mom was. I remember she wasn't into like, 2071 01:53:12,440 --> 01:53:14,880 Game of Thrones at all. She's like, what's this nerd 2072 01:53:14,880 --> 01:53:17,840 shit? And then Khal Drogo was fucking 2073 01:53:17,840 --> 01:53:20,480 like digging down Daenerys. And she's like, hold up a 2074 01:53:20,680 --> 01:53:23,800 second, this is good. This is every episode. 2075 01:53:23,800 --> 01:53:25,640 You said. I was like, first couple seasons 2076 01:53:25,640 --> 01:53:29,920 she was like, OK, I'm into it, I'm there and he's going to be 2077 01:53:29,920 --> 01:53:34,040 in it forever. I said, well, yeah, sure, Yeah, 2078 01:53:34,040 --> 01:53:39,400 sure, yeah. I don't like to think of my 2079 01:53:39,400 --> 01:53:42,400 parents as ever having done anything gross like that, but 2080 01:53:44,040 --> 01:53:46,000 you kind of had the proof right there in the books. 2081 01:53:46,360 --> 01:53:48,480 Yeah. Like I said it, yeah, I found 2082 01:53:48,480 --> 01:53:51,480 some of my dad's beauty mags, but I think he was just more 2083 01:53:51,680 --> 01:53:55,760 interested in. In the female form. 2084 01:53:55,880 --> 01:53:59,160 The ads in those were quite awesome the the art. 2085 01:53:59,680 --> 01:54:01,520 Are we like raised by prudes or something? 2086 01:54:02,720 --> 01:54:05,640 My, my, my parents were pretty open about it. 2087 01:54:06,840 --> 01:54:09,200 They're like, we're going to go bang big time. 2088 01:54:09,360 --> 01:54:10,560 No, they didn't say anything like. 2089 01:54:10,880 --> 01:54:13,760 Clear out it's going to you're going to smell they. 2090 01:54:13,760 --> 01:54:16,960 Didn't say anything like that, but like, no, yeah. 2091 01:54:17,240 --> 01:54:19,720 My yeah, my family would definitely never say anything 2092 01:54:19,720 --> 01:54:21,040 like that ever. Really. 2093 01:54:21,360 --> 01:54:23,720 That's insane. That's insane. 2094 01:54:23,720 --> 01:54:25,480 I didn't. Know how kids were made till 2095 01:54:26,800 --> 01:54:30,000 pretty recently? Till I told you, I remember you 2096 01:54:30,000 --> 01:54:33,600 asking me now that you're a father, could you tell me how 2097 01:54:33,800 --> 01:54:38,560 the whole process works? Just as a joke outed, did you 2098 01:54:38,600 --> 01:54:44,400 come about that was she already had she already had kids when 2099 01:54:44,400 --> 01:54:49,960 you met her or yeah. April That's why I've never 2100 01:54:49,960 --> 01:54:52,960 understood like the the birds and the bees conversation that 2101 01:54:52,960 --> 01:54:56,800 people have like. I've never heard how it actually 2102 01:54:56,800 --> 01:54:58,960 goes. I don't have sex with a bee or 2103 01:54:59,000 --> 01:55:02,960 something. It seems like the long weird 2104 01:55:03,520 --> 01:55:06,360 back around way of just telling them how it works. 2105 01:55:06,640 --> 01:55:11,240 I think if a bird had sex with a bee and make a Hummingbird, I 2106 01:55:11,240 --> 01:55:14,040 wonder if that's part of it. Yeah, I don't know. 2107 01:55:14,560 --> 01:55:16,360 I don't think my parents ever told me. 2108 01:55:16,960 --> 01:55:22,440 I think I don't know, I. You need to figure it out 2109 01:55:22,440 --> 01:55:24,240 yourself. I feel like you're when you're a 2110 01:55:24,240 --> 01:55:26,920 little kid, you're you just talk about that with your friends, 2111 01:55:26,920 --> 01:55:28,880 you know? Yeah, when you're a little boy. 2112 01:55:29,520 --> 01:55:35,680 Yeah, I remember in, like, fifth grade, like someone was telling 2113 01:55:35,680 --> 01:55:38,480 me in depth what a tampon was and how it worked and why it 2114 01:55:38,480 --> 01:55:40,800 happened. And I was like, what? 2115 01:55:42,360 --> 01:55:44,040 Because I remember they told me the whole thing. 2116 01:55:44,040 --> 01:55:46,960 And I was like, and then I went home and I thought about it like 2117 01:55:47,000 --> 01:55:48,440 all night. And then I came back the next 2118 01:55:48,440 --> 01:55:50,440 day. I was like that whole lesson 2119 01:55:50,440 --> 01:55:53,120 from yesterday go over that a second time. 2120 01:55:53,760 --> 01:55:56,840 I'm going to need a refresher on that because that's going to be. 2121 01:55:56,840 --> 01:55:59,200 Talking about diaphragms and you're like, I need you to back 2122 01:55:59,200 --> 01:56:02,680 up yesterday's. I think this is going to be on 2123 01:56:02,680 --> 01:56:04,880 the quiz later in life. I'm going to need you to go over 2124 01:56:04,880 --> 01:56:08,360 that lesson one more time. That was what's funny is that 2125 01:56:09,160 --> 01:56:11,960 that stands out as like one of the most educational days I've 2126 01:56:11,960 --> 01:56:14,120 ever had in school. And it wasn't even from a 2127 01:56:14,560 --> 01:56:17,680 teacher. Like hold up what? 2128 01:56:18,760 --> 01:56:19,640 Tell me a second time. So. 2129 01:56:19,680 --> 01:56:23,520 They like piss all over it or I'm very confused. 2130 01:56:23,800 --> 01:56:27,960 That that was something that he was not able to answer, but I 2131 01:56:27,960 --> 01:56:31,160 remember being like, how do they not pee all over it? 2132 01:56:31,200 --> 01:56:33,120 Yeah. Well, they take them out and put 2133 01:56:33,120 --> 01:56:36,080 a new one in all the time. I think that's how you know you 2134 01:56:36,080 --> 01:56:38,480 have a good teacher too, is when they're explaining something to 2135 01:56:38,480 --> 01:56:41,600 you and then you leave with more questions than you arrived. 2136 01:56:41,600 --> 01:56:45,480 It's like they've opened up a world inside your mind that you 2137 01:56:45,480 --> 01:56:48,760 want to explore. She could track down that guy to 2138 01:56:48,760 --> 01:56:50,360 have him on the podcast I've got. 2139 01:56:51,000 --> 01:56:55,680 Yeah, I got a couple questions I've always been too too bashful 2140 01:56:55,680 --> 01:56:57,840 to ask. You might forget this lesson you 2141 01:56:57,840 --> 01:57:00,000 gave about 20 something years ago. 2142 01:57:01,960 --> 01:57:04,400 So I've always regarded you as my greatest teacher. 2143 01:57:08,560 --> 01:57:11,640 Hey man, how are you doing? You probably don't Remember Me, 2144 01:57:11,640 --> 01:57:13,880 but you told me what a pussy. Was. 2145 01:57:16,240 --> 01:57:22,920 He's just like a helpless guy. Hey, dude, you're like kind of 2146 01:57:22,920 --> 01:57:25,640 like a hugely inspirational figure in my life. 2147 01:57:28,720 --> 01:57:31,320 I think tampons are good there for putting vodka on them, 2148 01:57:31,360 --> 01:57:36,440 shoving them up my ass. I don't think that was the 2149 01:57:36,440 --> 01:57:40,160 lesson. Well, we're skipping some 2150 01:57:40,160 --> 01:57:42,240 lessons here. You've obviously advanced their 2151 01:57:42,240 --> 01:57:46,800 curriculum since we last spoke. Please, Sir, start from the 2152 01:57:46,800 --> 01:57:53,600 beginning. Vodka on a Tam bond of the ass. 2153 01:57:53,600 --> 01:57:58,200 That's that's legendary dude. Dude, if we could bring that 2154 01:57:58,200 --> 01:58:01,480 technology to the Aztecs back in the day, they would have loved 2155 01:58:01,480 --> 01:58:03,800 that. Get your head cut off they. 2156 01:58:04,680 --> 01:58:06,240 Would have. Loved that shit but this up your 2157 01:58:06,240 --> 01:58:09,000 asshole. They have no idea what you're 2158 01:58:09,000 --> 01:58:17,520 saying. Oh shit no. 2159 01:58:18,400 --> 01:58:20,400 My headphone cords wrapped around my wheel. 2160 01:58:22,160 --> 01:58:23,920 That's the worst. Yeah, it is. 2161 01:58:24,040 --> 01:58:26,080 It is. April Fool ready? 2162 01:58:27,200 --> 01:58:30,960 Fuck, hey, that would be a great April Fools if I said all right, 2163 01:58:30,960 --> 01:58:34,000 now let's start the episode. And I hadn't actually started 2164 01:58:34,000 --> 01:58:35,720 recording. And that would be such a good 2165 01:58:35,720 --> 01:58:37,080 April. I would be really. 2166 01:58:37,960 --> 01:58:41,280 Because I'm about tapped out and it's 505. 2167 01:58:41,280 --> 01:58:43,280 All right, I'm going to go have dinner. 2168 01:58:45,280 --> 01:58:49,960 I'm going to go do some homework for the next episode about two 2169 01:58:49,960 --> 01:58:52,200 different things to figure out what's better are. 2170 01:58:52,960 --> 01:58:55,520 You going to put that trail Cam up so we can see these people? 2171 01:58:56,160 --> 01:59:01,400 Give me a deadline, just order me a trail Cam and send it to my 2172 01:59:01,400 --> 01:59:03,440 house. How often do they pass through 2173 01:59:03,440 --> 01:59:07,480 the property? For a minute there is every day. 2174 01:59:08,440 --> 01:59:11,480 I haven't seen them in a couple days. 2175 01:59:12,000 --> 01:59:15,120 OK, I want to have it up for three months so we have a good 2176 01:59:15,120 --> 01:59:17,840 library. What if I'm like, horrified by 2177 01:59:17,840 --> 01:59:20,200 what I see? There's like people crawling on 2178 01:59:20,200 --> 01:59:25,360 their hands every night, going by my house, digging up my yard 2179 01:59:25,360 --> 01:59:28,360 and eating like worms and shit. I I'd be so scared to look 2180 01:59:28,360 --> 01:59:31,760 through the footage. But yeah, we could do three 2181 01:59:31,760 --> 01:59:33,160 months of trail Cam. Yeah. 2182 01:59:34,000 --> 01:59:38,880 What if there's just like it's just Pip standing on 2 feet? 2183 01:59:39,120 --> 01:59:42,960 Yeah, smoking is smoking cigarettes with your other dogs 2184 01:59:42,960 --> 01:59:45,960 like. I'm so sick of that guy. 2185 01:59:45,960 --> 01:59:48,840 What about you guys? That fucking sucks. 2186 01:59:49,520 --> 01:59:53,600 And then they hear you go like, then they go, oh shit, just put 2187 01:59:53,600 --> 01:59:55,760 it out on the wall, run away on all fours. 2188 01:59:56,360 --> 01:59:58,040 Talking to each other. So a tampon. 2189 02:00:03,760 --> 02:00:07,560 Yeah, how do they not pee on it? Yeah, I only make one puppy 2190 02:00:07,560 --> 02:00:13,200 normally. Why is their penis not like a 2191 02:00:13,200 --> 02:00:19,200 red little creepy thing? That'll be honest. 2192 02:00:19,200 --> 02:00:23,120 Yeah, I'll put it up. Should we find we can doctor 2193 02:00:23,120 --> 02:00:25,680 some footage if it doesn't find anything good too. 2194 02:00:27,120 --> 02:00:32,720 Some VFX modern technology. Oh my God, a Doctor Manhattan. 2195 02:00:34,560 --> 02:00:40,720 Oh God, a mortal engine? Magneto fought a mortal engine. 2196 02:00:40,720 --> 02:00:43,120 I miss you. Oh my God. 2197 02:00:45,560 --> 02:00:48,000 Alrighty anyways guys, we'll see you next time. 2198 02:00:48,200 --> 02:00:49,080 Yeah, April Fools.