1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,560 Well, I'm excited to I'm excited to talk about this passage of 2 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:08,320 scripture this morning. I'm excited to talk about shame. 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,800 Anybody else? Woo woo, super fun. 4 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:19,400 This is such a powerful text of Scripture, and I think there's 5 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:25,760 something that can incredibly meaningfully unlock places of 6 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,880 stuckness for us that I want to look at together. 7 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:34,760 This morning, when I was about 12 years old, I remember 8 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:39,640 spilling a pitcher of water in my family kitchen in a way that 9 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,040 scarred me deeply and I don't think I will ever forget. 10 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:48,720 It was me, my dad and his business associate, Greg. 11 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,400 Greg was visiting from out of town. 12 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:55,600 He lived a long way away and we didn't see him very often, 13 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,960 didn't know him well, but it was clear to me that this was a man 14 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,960 that my dad deeply respected. There was a lot of like honor 15 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,720 and deference to Greg, who was doing really important work. 16 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,240 And so Greg was in town, He was staying at our house. 17 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:14,960 And I remember 1 evening kind of after dinner, dad and Greg were 18 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,360 in the kitchen and they were having a conversation. 19 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:18,520 I think they were talking about work. 20 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,760 I don't honestly remember at this point, but I was, I was a 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:26,600 curious kid and, and I was like, you know, this is interesting to 22 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:27,920 me. I wonder what it would be like 23 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,080 to, to, to sit at the grown-ups table. 24 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:34,000 So I snuck in and, and slid into the booth across from them and 25 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,760 just started listening. And I remember feeling kind of 26 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:39,120 proud, like they were mostly just talking to each other, but 27 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,200 I felt included in this moment of, you know, meaningful 28 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,240 conversation. And that's when Greg, who was 29 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:50,480 sitting across to me to my left, said, Hey Josh, can you pass me 30 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,320 that pitcher of water that's sitting in front of you? 31 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,120 Greg was a little bit too far away to like actually hand the 32 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,800 pitcher of water too. So in my 12 year old brain, I 33 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:04,160 decided that it would be a great idea to slide the pitcher across 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,800 the table to him. Some of you can already tell 35 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,280 where this is going, but sure enough, the pitcher started to 36 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,920 slide and then hit that seam right in the middle of the 37 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:19,520 table, caught tipped and just gushed water all over Greg's 38 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:24,440 lap. I remember just this wave of 39 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:29,800 anxiety and embarrassment just surging through my body and I, I 40 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,800 blurted out like I didn't see the crack. 41 00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:36,920 I know it was there. Where did that come from? 42 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,920 And in that moment, Greg, I, I remember he looked at me and, 43 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:48,720 and with like this kind of attitude of scorn, repeated my 44 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:53,880 words back to me. You, you didn't see the crack, I 45 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,280 guess it just magically appeared in the table when you started to 46 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:01,320 slide a, a completely full pitcher of water towards me. 47 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,720 And Greg, thinking this was hysterically funny, started to 48 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:11,400 laugh, dumbled over what a ridiculous thing to say. 49 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:17,360 And I remember the feeling in my body as as he laughed, like I 50 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,960 just, I felt smaller and smaller. 51 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:25,440 My embarrassment was compounded. I just wanted to to shrink, to 52 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:32,000 somehow disappear into my seat. I was completely overtaken by a 53 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:36,080 feeling of shame. Shame is at the center of this 54 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,600 story that we read here in John chapter 8. 55 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,840 And in fact, it's such an intense story, it feels like it 56 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,800 should come with a trigger warning. 57 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:51,680 Here we find a woman, sexually exposed, standing in in front of 58 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,920 a group of religious men who glower over her with 59 00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:00,280 condemnation and contempt. And this is a supercharged 60 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:04,880 situation. Of course, we read in the text 61 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:09,960 here in John 8 that the main point wasn't the woman for these 62 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,560 men. They were here weaponizing shame 63 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:16,320 in order to to catch Jesus in a trap. 64 00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,720 And man, they had really thought this through. 65 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,160 This was a, a, a brilliant dilemma. 66 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:28,040 See on on one hand, Jesus might kind of pardon the the woman, 67 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:33,440 say, hey, we should extend grace and mercy, in which case the the 68 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,920 Pharisees that the teachers of the law could point that that 69 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,760 this was not what the the Mosaic law of the Torah actually 70 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,360 prescribed. In instances such as this, he 71 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:47,720 would be weak on sin. If Jesus went in this direction, 72 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,520 they could kind of dismiss him and accuse him and say, you're 73 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:55,400 not a a real Bible scholar. You're just, you know, some kind 74 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,400 of liberal who doesn't actually care about the truth of God's 75 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,800 word. On the other hand, Jesus could, 76 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,320 could, could enforce the provisions of the Torah, 77 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,520 provisions that kind of like nobody actually followed in 1st 78 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,200 century Judea. The woman could be stoned, but 79 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,960 but this would paint Jesus as some kind of of of cruel monster 80 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,800 who didn't care or have compassion. 81 00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:22,400 Surely he would lose his audience and his following. 82 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,400 The Pharisees had it all figured out. 83 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,840 Jesus was caught. There was no way out, they were 84 00:05:28,840 --> 00:05:31,360 sure. And it's beautiful and 85 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,120 instructive how Jesus navigates this dilemma. 86 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,160 I think there's a huge amount for us to learn here. 87 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:41,280 But before we turn to consider how Jesus responds to this 88 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:47,600 moment, I first want to take a a beat to to consider the emotion 89 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,800 that's right at the center of this whole encounter. 90 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:54,920 Shame. Shame is one of the core human 91 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:59,080 emotions, one of one of the very few central emotions that all of 92 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:04,000 us experience at times, as Brené Brown, the shame researcher, 93 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,520 defines it, shame is the intensely painful, fearing 94 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:11,960 feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and 95 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:15,320 therefore unworthy of love and belonging. 96 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,720 We are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. 97 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,880 It's what we feel when we have these moments, like I I did in 98 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,840 that kitchen, where we just get this crushing sense that 99 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,440 something's wrong with me, I'm broken or a defective. 100 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:37,080 But unlike guilt, shame is a social emotion. 101 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,040 It happens specifically in relationship with other people. 102 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:46,000 Evolutionary psychologists would tell us that shame developed as 103 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,240 a way of reinforcing and policing communal norms. 104 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:52,920 This is the social punishment that gets meted out, that keeps 105 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:57,920 people from cheating or, or, or cutting in line, right? 106 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,160 It, it's what we do to that guy who takes all the credit for the 107 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,800 group project, even though he was a a minor player, right? 108 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:09,000 We, we mete out, we employ shame to to punish bad behaviour 109 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,480 without resorting to, to violence. 110 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:17,640 Shame at its best guards boundaries and reinforces group 111 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:21,040 identity. Shame has a place. 112 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,440 In fact, this is familiar to us when we when we talk about the 113 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,200 idea of we say somebody is shameless. 114 00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:31,440 That's not a good thing, right? It means that they, they flout 115 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,280 conventions and norms, other people's boundaries or concerns. 116 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:38,400 They're not attentive to the needs and preferences of other 117 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:40,000 people. They're selfish. 118 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,800 They do what they want. So we ascribe the level 119 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,880 shameless. They don't feel the requisite 120 00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:51,720 shame that they should. But shame, for whatever its 121 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,080 virtues, is a lousy fuel for transformation. 122 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,240 Shame does not help us to change. 123 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,720 In the series, we've been exploring how we change, how we 124 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:05,720 actually transform in the way of Jesus from the inside out. 125 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,600 What is true and lasting transformation look like in a 126 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,680 way that changes not only what we know, but how we live our our 127 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,360 explicit knowledge as well as our implicit, our reflexes and 128 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:22,120 defaults. And for this, shame is an 129 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,200 obstacle. I can tell you this from 130 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,440 personal experience. I'm just telling myself today, 131 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:34,320 but I know deeply well what it means to try and change oneself 132 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:38,520 by way of shame. One area where I I've engaged in 133 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:42,480 a lot of shame filled striving over the course of my life has 134 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,120 been in the area of managing my weight. 135 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:50,200 When I put my height and weight into a ABMI calculator, I get 136 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:56,600 that the painful declaration obese feels way too strong, but 137 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,440 there it is right in front of me. 138 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,760 Now, most of the time, I don't feel that kind of way about my 139 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,120 body. I'm not angry at myself or, or 140 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,680 beating myself up. I sleep well. 141 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:09,960 I can do everything that I want to. 142 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,800 I'm I don't don't have any, any limitations. 143 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:17,480 I'm active and, and in most days I feel fine with where I'm at 144 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:21,320 with my health and weight. But then there are those times, 145 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:25,040 maybe, you know, these times, the times when I'm, you know, in 146 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,320 the dressing room trying to find a new pair of clothes and I'll, 147 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:32,440 I'll put a shirt on and I really like it. 148 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:35,360 It looks great on the rack. But then the way it hugs my 149 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,560 body, it, it accentuates all the parts that I don't want to be 150 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:43,120 seen. I feel gross or, or I'll try 151 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,880 another shirt on or, or something that, that I really 152 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:47,800 like. And it, it, it fits me in one 153 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,080 place, but then it's just incredibly baggy everywhere 154 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:51,720 else. I feel stuck. 155 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,880 And in these moments, there's, there's a part of me, a voice in 156 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:59,640 my head that that comes out and in just this contemptuous and 157 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,760 cruel way passes verdict over me. 158 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:09,000 You're disgusting, It'll say. And, and, and that that word, 159 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,800 that condemnation, that judgement, it, it, you know, it 160 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:15,960 lands right here in my chest. Like I feel it deeply. 161 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:20,080 I start to almost like cowering and try and protect myself in 162 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,680 some way. And this, this shame fueled part 163 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:27,240 of me is, is in a, in a bizarre way, it's trying to serve me. 164 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:32,600 It's trying to protect me. It thinks that if my body looks 165 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,840 this way, then other people will judge me, other people will 166 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,040 reject me. And so it it rushes to do the 167 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,040 judging first. And I think the logic is 168 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,720 something like, well, if I can be mean enough, if I can be 169 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:48,000 cruel enough to myself, then, then, then I'll recognize how 170 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,560 urgent it is, how, how big of a deal it is that I fix this 171 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,120 problem. And sometimes for a brief period 172 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,760 of time that kind of works, like I'll have this wave of 173 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,200 adrenaline and energy and willpower because I'm 174 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,280 embarrassed and, and I want to fix this thing about myself. 175 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,680 And so I'll dive into whatever the latest thing is, 176 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:13,880 intermittent fasting or calorie counting, exercising more times 177 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,160 per week, right? There's, there's this surge of 178 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,240 willpower and energy that comes from this place of condemnation 179 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:23,080 and shame. And I'm a pretty intentional 180 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,400 guy. I'm a pretty, you know, I have 181 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,560 some willpower reserves. And so for a while that'll work. 182 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:33,120 Like for a bit, I'll, I'll drop 1020, maybe even 30 lbs. 183 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:37,680 But then the reserve of willpower starts to go dry, 184 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,280 right? Other things begin to, to pull 185 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,160 at my attention. The shame isn't quite so 186 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,280 piercing because maybe I look a little bit better in my clothes. 187 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,040 I, I, I feel a little bit better about it. 188 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,880 The intensity isn't there. And so everything slides right 189 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:57,240 back to baseline. Now, I share this with you 190 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,880 today, not because I'm hoping that you come up and tell me 191 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:03,520 immediately after the gathering how beautiful I am in my body, 192 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,120 not because I'm desperately searching out here for for three 193 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,880 simple steps that are going to help me solve this problem. 194 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,840 I get it. This is not a knowledge issue 195 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:17,800 for me. But I name this dynamic, which 196 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:22,400 is vulnerable for me, which is painful for me because I make up 197 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:26,000 that although you may have an entirely healthier relationship 198 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:29,560 with your body than I do, but there's somewhere in your life 199 00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:35,040 that you can notice a similar pattern, a similar dynamic. 200 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,640 See, because this isn't just limited to me. 201 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,240 Maybe your relationship with your body is healthy. 202 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,640 Shame doesn't have its claws. And you in the in, in the areas 203 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,440 of diet and weight. But you notice this showing up 204 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:54,000 in your life and you're dating, You haven't found a partner yet 205 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:57,960 and you're just embarrassed about it. 206 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,360 Like what? What if something's wrong with 207 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,120 me? Like what if I'm unworthy of 208 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,360 love and connection? What if I I, I don't find that 209 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:10,000 person and so they're striving that comes out. 210 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,080 Maybe you find yourself trying to fill some kind of hole in 211 00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:17,600 your soul by way of educational or vocational attainment. 212 00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,160 There's this this gnawing sense of like, I'm not good enough. 213 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,240 I haven't lived up to the expectations of my parents. 214 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,440 I'm not like where my siblings are, where my peers are. 215 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,160 And so you're you're hustling, you're striving, you're trying 216 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,200 to get ahead. You're trying to get that next 217 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:37,440 performance review or that next degree, that next certification. 218 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,760 You keep chasing. Maybe for you, the place of 219 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,840 stackness shows up in in a place that you're pretty embarrassed 220 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,960 about. Like over and over and over you, 221 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:52,080 you say, like, I'm going to quit looking at porn. 222 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,720 Over and over and over you say, I'm going to, I'm going to stop 223 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,640 doom scrolling on my phone. Over and over and over you say, 224 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,600 man, I'm going to stop at the second beer tonight. 225 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:06,560 And over and over and over again, you find yourself going 226 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:11,480 through the same pattern. For many of us, this even shows 227 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,920 up in our spirituality. We want to pray more, read our 228 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:19,120 Bibles more, show up in community better, and maybe if 229 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:22,280 we were just more disciplined, maybe if we were just better 230 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,360 than everything would work out. God would be pleased with us and 231 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,240 he would bless us. Or so the story goes. 232 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:35,640 The problem is, is that this is something of a treadmill. 233 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,120 A dynamic that I like to describe. 234 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:40,200 Is that the treadmill of self improvement? 235 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,800 We're we're trying to fuel change by way of shame. 236 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:50,240 And just like a treadmill, huge amounts of effort, sweat, blood 237 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,880 and tears can be expended, but we don't end up getting 238 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,400 anywhere. The the shame slinging parts of 239 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:01,320 us believe that if we just work harder, if we strive more than 240 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,880 maybe we'll fix that which is broken inside of us and and then 241 00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,080 we'll be worthy of belonging, worthy of acceptance. 242 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,760 But it's just a treadmill. Shame begets striving. 243 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:18,880 Striving begets exhaustion. Exhaustion begets relapse. 244 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,840 Relapse begets resignation. Resignation begets shame. 245 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:30,080 Shame begets striving. And here we go again and again, 246 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:35,240 through the same patterns that have become so familiar and yet 247 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,240 in which we find ourselves so stuck. 248 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,600 I'd go so far as to make this bet with you. 249 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:44,680 I would suggest to you the risk of maybe generalizing a bit too 250 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:49,640 much that wherever you feel an acute sense of shame is probably 251 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:51,440 a place in your life where you're stuck. 252 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:58,000 Shame and stuckness are such close companions because as long 253 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,600 as shame is calling the shots, we end up compulsively doubling 254 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,640 down on resources that get us nowhere. 255 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:09,040 We just keep cycling along the treadmill, or just as likely, we 256 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,640 end up numbing out and avoiding altogether. 257 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,440 I mean, I don't know about you, but when my shame cycle is at 258 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:18,760 the worst, when I'm feeling the worst about my body, there's 259 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:22,760 nothing that feels like it could relieve that ache like salty, 260 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:28,280 crunchy Doritos, right? Sometimes that the patterns that 261 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,560 we find ourselves stuck in, like we reach for these numbing 262 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:35,760 mechanisms precisely at the time when we're covered in shame. 263 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,080 Shame is not a motivator for growth. 264 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,720 It's actually a mechanism of paralysis. 265 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,240 It doesn't fuel transformation. It just pushes our bad behavior 266 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:50,880 into the shadows. And look for a lot of 267 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:55,520 communities, that's OK. Like I want to, I want to tell 268 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,800 the truth about this dynamic here because this is important. 269 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:03,640 See, we get a lot of payouts for pushing our bad behavior into 270 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:08,160 the shadows, don't we? Like, we can perform, we can 271 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,400 pretend. And, and we think that maybe 272 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,760 even if people don't really see what's true, maybe that'll be 273 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,280 good enough. So many communities, so many 274 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,119 families, so many churches operate in this way. 275 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,520 It's like we don't really talk beyond a surface level. 276 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,560 We don't name the places where we're really struggling, the 277 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:32,920 places where we're really stuck, because that would be an 278 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:34,640 embarrassment. We might even baptize it and 279 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,240 say, well, we wouldn't want to spoil our witness. 280 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:43,720 And so instead we, we pretend. We, we talk only about the the 281 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:47,040 sin, only about the problems of those people over there that we 282 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:51,000 can hold at arm's length. And then we, as a community of 283 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,840 shiny, happy people with these smiles on our face, live in the 284 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:59,920 plastic land of pretense where we keep showing up pretending as 285 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:03,000 though things are not actually wrong, as though we're not 286 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,800 actually stuck, as though shame doesn't have its claws in US. 287 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,480 And see, it's a paradoxical thing, but the only way to 288 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:15,520 interrupt this cycle is actually through it. 289 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,840 We see such a beautiful response in the way that Jesus navigates 290 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,640 this. I love how he shows up, how he 291 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,800 responds to this moment of crisis, this dilemma. 292 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,960 Jesus diffuses the power of shame. 293 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:35,320 His his response is profound. I want you to look at it here in 294 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,600 John chapter 8. The first thing he does is 295 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:43,800 actually to not respond. Somebody who's like a teacher 296 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,400 likes to talk about things like this is hard for me to fathom. 297 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,880 Somebody asking a question and not like being like, well, 298 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:54,680 here's what I think about that. Like Jesus has an answer to this 299 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:59,000 question, but he doesn't respond to the Pharisees. 300 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:04,120 Jesus recognizes that this is is not some honest and sincere 301 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:06,240 seeking of truth. They're not trying to figure out 302 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,400 how to interpret Scripture rightly. 303 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,360 This is a trap and they're abusing this woman in order to 304 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:17,360 set it for him. And so first thing that Jesus 305 00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:19,640 does here is he just slows everything down. 306 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,080 Man, I don't know about you, but this is one of the most 307 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:26,600 resourceful tools that I have learned when I'm feeling these 308 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,840 moments. Awash and shame. 309 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:31,680 Just slow down. Like actually take a beat. 310 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,760 Actually take a breath. Instead of just reaching for 311 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,000 whatever numbing mechanism of choice is available to you. 312 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:41,280 To to to ignore it or avoid it, or to to push the feelings down. 313 00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:46,800 Just just take a breath. Jesus pauses. 314 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:50,360 He doesn't jump immediately to response. 315 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,200 Maybe you've heard the advice to count to 10 before responding 316 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,320 when you're angry. This is this is kind of what he 317 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,960 does here. Everybody is locked into this 318 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,080 high stakes encounter, this anxious system in which there 319 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,240 can be no curiosity, no learning, no awareness, just 320 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:09,040 reactivity. The Pharisees are, are feeling 321 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,640 good about themselves. They're trying to control the 322 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,880 situation and, and, and, and, and they're convinced and, and, 323 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,720 and looking to, to be right and to be proven right. 324 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:21,720 The woman is cowering, frozen in shame, and Jesus just steps out 325 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,240 of the cycle. He doesn't react. 326 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:29,200 He pauses. He does something confusing and 327 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:32,080 curious that makes everybody be like, like they're, they're, 328 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,440 he's drawn in the ground like a kid. 329 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,960 Like what is what is going on here? 330 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,000 I think the confusion is not accidental. 331 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,960 It's intentional. We see in verse 6 that Jesus 332 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,160 bends down and starts to write on the ground with his finger. 333 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,520 But the second thing that Jesus does here that I think is so 334 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:58,040 interesting is that Jesus actually shames the shameless we 335 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,040 talked earlier about. Like shame is a lousy motivator 336 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,200 for growth, but it's it's not always out of bounds. 337 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,840 Like Jesus actually turns the trap right back on the religious 338 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:10,880 leaders who are not actually in touch with their own sin. 339 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:16,200 He says to them in response to their questions. 340 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,520 Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to 341 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,440 throw a stone. And in a single sentence, Jesus 342 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,760 turns the trap back on its architects. 343 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,800 They were using shame to condemn the woman, and now they're being 344 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,160 interrogated. What's true in your life? 345 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,800 What log is in your own eye? The spectacle of her shame 346 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,440 becomes a crisis of their conscience. 347 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:49,600 Jesus actually uses shame to shame the shameless, but not 348 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:54,040 with a woman. With a woman, Jesus is tender. 349 00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:57,080 He Stoops down and writes in the dirt. 350 00:21:57,080 --> 00:22:00,360 This is so interesting. Now I don't sometimes things are 351 00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:03,880 really clear from the text and other times I'm not sure. 352 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:08,400 So this is one of those I'm not sure moments, but I think it's 353 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,680 so interesting that Jesus gets low. 354 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:17,640 Like when you're looking down on someone, if you're looking up at 355 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:23,400 someone, right, it's very easy to feel the power dynamic right? 356 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:29,760 Sometimes, like parenting experts say that when your, when 357 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,400 your kid is really dysregulated, one of the things that you can 358 00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,400 do to help the situation is actually to like get down on 359 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:40,240 their level, right? You get down low eye to eye to 360 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,640 help attune to them, to connect with them. 361 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,320 So maybe it's incidental, I don't know. 362 00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,640 But also Jesus made our nervous systems and he knows what's up. 363 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,160 Jesus slows the situation down. And then this woman who I, I 364 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:57,680 imagine is, is cowering in the dust, Jesus gets on her level. 365 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,040 He attunes to her, he connects with her like we talked about 366 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:05,000 last couple weeks ago. Now Jesus becomes the safe haven 367 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:10,080 for her. He he both dismantles the 368 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:13,560 accusations of her accusers with his question. 369 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,400 And then after one by one, their accusation, their condemnation 370 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,520 has been disarmed. Jesus turns to her in verse 10 371 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:25,640 and says, where are they? Has no one condemned you? 372 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,320 Neither do I condemn you. Jesus says. 373 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:36,960 He also refuses to pass judgement on her, to, to, to pin 374 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,840 her into the dust, to double down outlook. 375 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:41,600 This woman does not need more shame. 376 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,400 She is already aware of the brokenness. 377 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,080 And I think it's so beautiful how Jesus responds to her. 378 00:23:49,080 --> 00:23:51,920 It's so powerful because he defuses the shame. 379 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:56,320 He drives away the accusers. He declares no condemnation. 380 00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:59,800 But then he also in verse 11 says, Hey, go now and leave your 381 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:04,800 life of sin. There's an opportunity now for 382 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,080 change. And, and I think this is worth 383 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,200 noting because I think in our culture, sometimes we, we get 384 00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:14,480 this wrong, like sometimes we go too far to an extreme. 385 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,640 Like we are rightly worried about the damaging and 386 00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:22,640 destructive power of shame, the way it can harm people and 387 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:26,440 dehumanize people and, and, and, and push people down and crush 388 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,720 them. And so we've swung at times to 389 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,080 the other side where we say everything about you is 390 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:35,160 terrific. You are amazing, you are 391 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:39,200 perfect, you are beautiful, Everything is great. 392 00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,120 And that's not a gift either, right? 393 00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:46,840 It is a beauty. It, it is true to recognize our 394 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,360 belovedness, our goodness, the fact that we are created in the 395 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:52,840 imago day. But sometimes leaving people 396 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,280 stuck in real problems is not generous. 397 00:24:56,160 --> 00:25:00,560 Like that too is a trap. This lady's life was not working 398 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,920 right. There were other dynamics like 399 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:05,760 that guy should have been here too, like she's not doing 400 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,440 adultery by herself. Like what's going on here, 401 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,800 right? But also her life was not 402 00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:15,080 working. She was stuck in a trap, not 403 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,320 just of their making, but of hers as well. 404 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,080 And Jesus doesn't do one or the other. 405 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:25,080 He doesn't say fix your life up, get everything squared away 406 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,400 because then once you've done everything correctly, then you 407 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:34,520 can be accepted. He says no condemnation right 408 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,640 here, right now. You are beloved. 409 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:43,440 But then he also says go and sin no more like you have an 410 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,920 opportunity now to be free, not from the place of shame, but 411 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,440 from the place of belovedness, from the place of being seen and 412 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,760 known. Friends, we don't have to choose 413 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,000 a false binary between no shame or or motivation by way of 414 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,560 shame. Shame is a trap. 415 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:04,040 It will not help us become the people that we have been 416 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:08,680 designed to be. And far too often in 417 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,520 communities, in families, in churches, in our own internal 418 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:15,800 conversations, we're still playing on the same treadmill. 419 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,400 We want to fix that thing about us that we're embarrassed about. 420 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,360 So we just beat ourselves up. We punish ourselves in the hopes 421 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:27,960 that maybe it will spark the willpower to strive so that we 422 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,800 can change, so that we can be accepted. 423 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:35,840 And this is absolutely backwards for those of us who follow Jesus 424 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,800 because Jesus does not start with clean your life up, get it 425 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:46,000 together, fix your problems. He starts with belovedness. 426 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:48,760 You are loved, you are welcome, you are accepted. 427 00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:50,600 There is now no condemnation for you. 428 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,000 And this all happens because Jesus from the beginning is one 429 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,200 who who actually takes our shame. 430 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:03,000 You guys know the story at the beginning of creation, the first 431 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:08,160 story in Scripture here in the book of Genesis, we see man and 432 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:12,840 woman created and and Genesis 2 says that they were together, 433 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,680 they were naked and they were not ashamed. 434 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:20,560 I think he's obviously talking about physical nudity, but he's 435 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:24,120 also talking about emotional, spiritual exposure. 436 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,960 Like in everything that they were, they were seen and they 437 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,600 didn't feel any condemnation. They felt welcomed, they felt 438 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,880 accepted. And of course, sin enters the 439 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,320 picture and fouls it all up. Sin and the shame that it brings 440 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:43,320 with it forges disconnection. So as the story progresses, 441 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:46,000 they're they're separated from each other and from God. 442 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,720 And what do the people do in the story? 443 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,480 Well, they dive into the bushes and try and sew themselves some 444 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:56,600 fig leaves, like some fig leaf aprons, the Bible says some 445 00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,120 garments to cover up, to cover up their shame. 446 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:05,440 That doesn't work friends. So many of us are there. 447 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,040 We're in this space of cover ups. 448 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:13,480 We're trying to fix ourselves by, by covering up the shame, by 449 00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:18,480 pretending, by performing, by over functioning, by freezing up 450 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,640 and numbing to avoid the feelings. 451 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:23,920 We're running on autopilot. And this, this fast track of our 452 00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:27,360 brain, this, this implicit knowledge is, is striving in all 453 00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:32,240 of these ways to, to, to access worthiness, to access belonging 454 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,080 and, and we're just trying to beat ourselves up to get there. 455 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,640 The fig leaves never work. They can't cover the shame. 456 00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,000 Our cover ups always end up leaving us right where we 457 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,280 started. But instead, what happens in the 458 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:51,040 garden? God comes, he meets them, God 459 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:57,560 himself makes them a covering. And this is what a beautiful 460 00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:01,040 picture of the gospel like this is what Jesus does for us. 461 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:05,520 He comes near to us. He takes our shame himself in 462 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:10,040 his body so that we can be covered, so that we can walk 463 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:12,640 free, so that we can walk blameless, so that we can enter 464 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:16,760 boldly into the presence of God, so that we can live out of our 465 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:20,320 identity as one who is beloved, so that we can know the story 466 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,280 that God loves us. Friends, what a beautiful 467 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:31,560 picture of the gospel. There's a practice that God has 468 00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,960 given us to support us in piercing through this dynamic of 469 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,560 shame. It's called confession. 470 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:43,600 Confession very simply is, is a practice in which we name 471 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:48,400 reality. We say what is so, particularly 472 00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,400 the, the ways in which we are not who we long to be, where 473 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,720 we're out of integrity, where we're stuck. 474 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,840 And I think many of us, especially in like low church 475 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:03,280 Protestant world, many people are kind of allergic to the idea 476 00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:08,840 of confession because confession too has been weaponized, right? 477 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,760 Often times people confess and then are used in that space to, 478 00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:17,880 to, to bring more shame. Our shame is intensified by way 479 00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,520 of the confession. Kurt Thompson talks about it. 480 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,520 This, he says. Like this, he says when we 481 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:26,200 experience shame, we tend to turn away from others because 482 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,480 the prospect of being seen or known by another carries the 483 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:33,360 anticipation of shame being intensified or reactivated. 484 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,520 Like, we don't want to be seen because it feels like as other 485 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,640 people witness that, as other people judge us for that, that 486 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,240 the shame will be further intensified, that we'll just be 487 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,880 completely lost. We feel like we're going to die. 488 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,120 But here's the paradoxical truth. 489 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:58,200 It's that shame actually can't stand up to being witnessed in 490 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,400 love. Brené Brown says it this way. 491 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,960 She says shame cannot survive being spoken. 492 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:12,000 It cannot survive empathy. See, God invites us into a space 493 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,280 where we're those parts of us that are broken, that are 494 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:19,240 dysfunctional, that are distorted, can be named and can 495 00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:23,600 be healed because we're not rejected. 496 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:28,480 Instead, even in those places where things are off, we're not 497 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:32,760 who we want to be. We can be seen and held. 498 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,800 And this is the practice of confession at its core. 499 00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:42,160 It's the practice of of naming what is not so in a trustworthy 500 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:48,560 space where then we can be held. God, of course, paradoxically, 501 00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:52,560 for all the hiding we do. He already knows, right. 502 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:57,640 He's not surprised, as it turns out, even if we feel that way 503 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,720 sometimes. But confession, I'll say in my 504 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,440 own experience, I've learned and, and I think this is true 505 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,080 throughout Christian tradition. We see this example. 506 00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,480 Confession was actually designed in Scripture and and by the 507 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,680 church not to be something that we do just privately and 508 00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:16,040 individually with God. We're actually designed to 509 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:17,640 experience this. We're going to talk more about 510 00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:21,600 this next week in relationship with other people, Not 511 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:26,400 everybody, not people who will layer on more judgement, but 512 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:30,360 those who can hold it, those who can extend empathy and 513 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:34,240 compassion, recognizing the duality of like, there's an 514 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,920 opportunity to go and sin no more, but but not because you 515 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,920 need to do that in order to be loved because because of the 516 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,520 blood of Jesus, because of what Jesus has already done. 517 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,480 Right now, you're already welcomed. 518 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:52,880 You're already accepted. So friends, as we move into a 519 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:56,760 time of reflection, into a time of response, don't panic. 520 00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:59,400 I'm not going to ask you to turn to your neighbor and, like, 521 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:01,840 divulge your deepest, darkest secret, OK? 522 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:06,640 We're going to make the invitation lightweight because I 523 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,360 know for some of us, like, this is a regular practice. 524 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:12,240 And for others, you're looking at this and you're like, Oh my 525 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,560 gosh, this sounds like the worst thing ever. 526 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,200 I'm convinced that if I were to name something that I am 527 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:20,320 embarrassed by, I would just, I would die. 528 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:26,440 That would be the end. Right now, I want to invite you 529 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:31,840 to just notice and touch that place of stuckness, that place 530 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:33,840 where shame is operative in your life. 531 00:33:34,760 --> 00:33:37,080 Maybe as you reflect this morning, you could say, Josh, 532 00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:41,000 man, I relate to your story. There's some place where I see 533 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,480 the treadmill is operative for me. 534 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,600 I am on it. I'm spinning. 535 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:48,040 I've been spinning for a while. I keep telling myself that I'm 536 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,320 going to be more disciplined, that I'm going to try harder, 537 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:54,600 but here I am. Maybe that's what you need to 538 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,560 name. Maybe there's something else, 539 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:02,480 but I want to invite you to consider naming at least to 540 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,520 yourself and then to God, this place in your life where you 541 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,120 feel the claws of shame digging into your soul. 542 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,760 And then if you'd like to, you could take it a step further and 543 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:19,560 identify one person to talk to about that, to share that. 544 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:23,080 And maybe that's somebody right now right here in the room. 545 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:27,159 Maybe it's your therapist. Maybe it's a parent or a 546 00:34:27,159 --> 00:34:30,280 grandparent. Maybe it's a close friend. 547 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:32,400 Maybe it's your romantic partner. 548 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,840 Maybe it's somebody from our pastoral team. 549 00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,320 There's no pressure to do this perfectly. 550 00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:44,960 It's not about just being out there, letting everybody know. 551 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,520 It's about the shame emerging from the secret place, from the 552 00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:54,080 dark place where it's power grows, beginning to be exposed 553 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:58,600 and dispersed by the empathy and compassion that we see Jesus 554 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:03,480 extend here in this story. Friends, what if we were a 555 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:08,760 community of the kind of freedom, of the kind of power 556 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,240 that really believed that we could name what was not so with 557 00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:18,280 us because we have a God who loves us so much that we didn't 558 00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,840 believe that we would be crushed if we did? 559 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,280 What if we believed in God's love so much that we were 560 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:28,080 willing to be actually honest about what was true for us, the 561 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,760 places of our stuckness and shame? 562 00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:33,800 What if we were the kind of people like Jesus is in this 563 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:38,120 story who are willing to hold space for others, Not with 564 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:42,120 judgement, not with score, not getting the payouts that these 565 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:46,720 religious leaders here are by feeling better about myself 566 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:51,480 because I can look down on you. But in our common humanity, 567 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,640 being willing to look at one another and say, I see you. 568 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,000 This thing that you've done this way in which you've shown up 569 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,800 isn't great. It might be harmful, it might be 570 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,160 damaging, it might be devastating. 571 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:11,360 And Even so, you are loved. Friends, this is the good news 572 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:18,720 that although we are far from who we are designed to be, we 573 00:36:18,720 --> 00:36:21,040 are loved into transformation.