1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,960 Welcome to the Unfuck Your Relationships podcast, the 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,200 podcast where we are not just unfucking your love life, but 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,040 unfucking your relationship to yourself and your entire life. 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,360 Around here. We raise your standards, we 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,280 break patterns, we upgrade yourself concept. 6 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,800 We are talking about boundaries, money, shadow work, your 7 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,880 relationship to your body, sex, all of it. 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,680 We are covering your entire life baby. 9 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,800 Think of this podcast as like Big Sister Energy where I am no 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,360 fluff, no bullshit, but I am also very open with my heart and 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,840 I'm going to share all of me with you and that will be able 12 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,240 to transform your entire life through you listening to this 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,080 podcast. So if you are ready to stop 14 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,280 settling for the bare minimum and actually be the woman that 15 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,840 you can wake up in the morning and be proud of, you are in the 16 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,280 right place. Let's get into today's episode. 17 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,360 Hello, my loves. Welcome back to the Unfuck Your 18 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,640 Relationships podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Panning, 19 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,400 and this is episode 230. And today I'm going to be 20 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,120 talking about how to get your spark back. 21 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:10,560 If 2025, if your year was anything like mine and like most 22 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:15,920 people's, it was a lot. It was a lot. 23 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:24,320 And this year, 2025 for me was starting to get my spark back. 24 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,040 Yeah. So for everyone, this was the 25 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,880 year of the snake. It is a year 9. 26 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:35,480 So in numerology, that is like the completion of a nine year 27 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:39,000 cycle. So as we head into 2026, that is 28 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,040 a year 1. So that is all about renewal, 29 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,400 rebirth, fresh energy. Thank fuck for that. 30 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:49,360 So 2025, if it felt like you were in a tumble dryer, you are 31 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,320 not alone. And that this was the space 32 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,720 where like I lost, I lost friendships, like I ended 33 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:56,560 friendships. I went through a breakup, I 34 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,720 started a new relationship. That was obviously not a 35 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:02,040 shedding. That was a good thing. 36 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:05,840 But shedding of old patterns, like so much has happened. 37 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,600 I've retired like a million offers in my business. 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,400 I'm retiring. The retreats like these are the 39 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,120 last ones that I'm ever running. So like just so much has been a 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:19,680 completion. And honestly, like the the first 41 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:24,800 half of this year was me learning how to get back my 42 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,120 spark. And then the second-half of the 43 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,320 year was like me actually enjoying the fruits of my labor. 44 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,040 And especially like I've told you guys, my word for the year 45 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,240 is discipline. And I'm so excited for that. 46 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:42,720 And I didn't wait till January 1st to start that. 47 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,720 Like I hired, I hired a coach, I hired a health coach. 48 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:50,280 I've been hitting my my macros and my calories consistently. 49 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,480 I have been going to the gym consistently. 50 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:54,280 I've been hitting my steps every single day. 51 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,240 So it's like I didn't wait for that to happen. 52 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:00,600 And this has given me already so much confidence and I'm feeling 53 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:03,640 so good about myself just because I'm doing it. 54 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,040 Not even for the like, losing weight or like, I, you know, 55 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,400 I've already lost centimeters off my waist and all the things. 56 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,560 And it's like, yeah, that's cool. 57 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:13,800 But that's a byproduct of the woman that I've become through 58 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,520 this process. And I'm literally only a few 59 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,920 weeks in. So let's get into how to get 60 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,240 your spark back. I'm going to take you through 5 61 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,600 tips on how to actually get your spark back this year. 62 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:31,160 So tip #1 is that your spark comes from your aliveness, not 63 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,720 the things that you think you should be doing. 64 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:41,880 So we can get very, very caught up in work, errands, Netflix, 65 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:47,040 sleep, work, errands, Netflix sleep, like just very caught up 66 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:51,080 in the monotonous day-to-day. This is what I should be doing. 67 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,280 Or I'm going to the gym because I should, or I'm doing this 68 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:57,800 because I should, or I'm dating this way because I think I have 69 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,000 to, or I'm communicating this way because I have to. 70 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:05,640 When if you want your spark back, it comes from your erotic 71 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,000 current and that comes from your aliveness. 72 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,400 And that doesn't mean sexual turn on, although it could 73 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,800 absolutely look like that. It is about following the 74 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:19,519 impulses of what feels good and this is where most people go 75 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,959 wrong, particularly when they get into relationships. 76 00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:24,880 And I've said this before, people lose themselves in 77 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:29,680 relationships all the fucking time because they forget that 78 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,600 they are an individual in a relationship. 79 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,720 So I've said this before where I'm like, act single in a 80 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:40,200 relationship. I don't mean go fuck other 81 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,040 people and don't honor the boundaries and limitations of 82 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,240 your relationship. What I mean is, where's the 83 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,160 woman who took herself on solo dates? 84 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,640 Where's the woman who still had hobbies? 85 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,920 Where's the woman who saw her friends or just read for 86 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,640 pleasure or, you know, did these things that just gave her joy? 87 00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,920 People get into relationships and then they completely become 88 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:07,040 consumed by the relationship and they lose themselves entirely 89 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,560 and then wonder why they're miserable because they've fallen 90 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,560 into codependency and they're like, Oh my fucking God. 91 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:18,840 So follow what feels good and experiment. 92 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,840 You know, one of the greatest tools that I ever did and I 93 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,040 didn't even finish it. I kind of half assed it to be 94 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:26,440 honest, was The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. 95 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:31,160 It's a book, the 12 week kind of program, if you will, about 96 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,440 creative expression. And that when I did that 97 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,200 protocol, it was honestly the happiest time of my life. 98 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,080 I think I'm going to actually bring it back, particularly the 99 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,440 morning pages and I would take myself on solo dates every 100 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,520 single week. And honestly, like I've, I've 101 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,520 kind of dropped off on that a little bit actually since being 102 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:51,080 in a relationship. So that's one of the things that 103 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:55,960 I will absolutely be bringing back of like how to be single in 104 00:05:55,960 --> 00:06:03,160 a relationship so that you never lose that aliveness and there 105 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,480 will be things that you want to try that your ego is going, Oh 106 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:08,360 no, that's cringe. No, don't do that. 107 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,160 That's too much. That's fucking weird. 108 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,520 You're going to be the only one there. 109 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:15,080 You don't know anyone who cares. Who cares if it's fucking 110 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,680 cringe. Do the things that bring you 111 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:21,520 joy. So for instance, for me, I was 112 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:25,400 like, I just feel so self absorbed. 113 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,160 Honestly. It's like my business, my 114 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:33,800 friends, my, my podcast, my, all the things were about me, me, 115 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,280 me, me, me. And so I applied to, to 116 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:43,560 volunteer at like a domestic violence charity essentially. 117 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,560 So that's something that I'm going to be doing. 118 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,360 So my application just got approved last night. 119 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,680 So that's really, really exciting. 120 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,680 So that I will be starting whenever they tell me. 121 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,720 So I'm like because that feels good for me to be in service and 122 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,400 in contribution and something that is outside of myself. 123 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,280 Yes, I'm in contribution here. I'm in contribution to my 124 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:06,600 business. But there's obviously like a 125 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:11,120 return on investment, like a direct ROI on that versus 126 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,200 volunteering somewhere like that just feels good. 127 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,520 Me going for ocean swims, that feels good. 128 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,400 Now I'm going to need to take a fucking course on ocean safety 129 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,800 because y'all, I don't I don't understand your girl grew up in 130 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,920 Toronto, well outside of Toronto in Canada. 131 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,320 I didn't grow up on a fucking ocean. 132 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:32,000 I don't understand RIP tides and the currents and all the things. 133 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:37,880 I literally went for a walk the other day with my bestie and we 134 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,600 were going to go for a swim but there were 1,000,000 blue bottle 135 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,600 jellyfish everywhere like on our walk. 136 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,320 Honestly there must have been 100 plus on the on the beach. 137 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,280 So this has nothing to do with anything, but it's the fact that 138 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,080 I'm like, OK, cool. I like ocean swims. 139 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:57,040 I want to get better at that. I really want to take singing 140 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,960 lessons. I love to just sing in the car. 141 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,840 I love to go for drives. I love to take myself to the 142 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,280 movies. I there's so many things that I 143 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,720 love to do. And that is where your aliveness 144 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,640 comes from. And I have always said the more 145 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:10,960 fun I have, the more money I make. 146 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,200 And I swear to God, it is fucking true. 147 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,240 So that is tip #1. Tip #2 is stop trying to 148 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:22,000 resurrect the old you. I hear this so much. 149 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:27,680 I miss who I was when I was 23 or this is in relationships. 150 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:32,559 I miss the honeymoon phase. And this is the truth that no 151 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:39,240 one wants to tell you because what you actually mean is I miss 152 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:44,159 the version of myself before I experienced heartbreak or 153 00:08:44,159 --> 00:08:48,720 betrayal or perceived abandonment or rejection, or I 154 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:52,280 missed the version of myself before I tried and failed. 155 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:57,120 I missed the version of myself where before I let my 156 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,760 insecurities get the better of me. 157 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,440 That's actually what we miss. It's not a period of time in our 158 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,560 lives. You know, when we think about a 159 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:09,560 relationship, it's not, oh, I miss like the, the, you know, 160 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:13,960 the spark in the beginning. No, it's I miss who I allowed 161 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,880 myself to be. I allowed myself to be on. 162 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:19,360 I was excited, we were having fun. 163 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,360 We weren't complacent. And that's something that can 164 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,640 happen very, very, very easily. Like I've seen it a million 165 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,760 times in my clients relationships, in my own 166 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,680 relationships where it's very easy to become complacent. 167 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,200 And it's fucking hard when someone gives you that 168 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,800 reflection of like, you're being fucking complacent in your life. 169 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:38,240 And it's like, oh fuck, OK, cool. 170 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:40,960 I see that and I can recognize it and I'm going to do better. 171 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:47,080 But this thing of I want to be who I was before XYZ or I want 172 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:52,320 the old version of me back. This is what no one's going to 173 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,520 tell you. She's not fucking coming back. 174 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,320 It's not coming back. She's dead, but you can create 175 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,840 an equally incredible version. It's just different. 176 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:08,720 This is called evolution. So it's not about trying to be 177 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:14,320 who you were when you were 20304050 years old and you see 178 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:19,120 like older people, you know, in their 50s, sixties, 70s. 179 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:29,120 I say older because I'm 36, like grasping for youth grasping for, 180 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,960 and I don't mean even just like externally, although that can 181 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,880 obviously happen, but even just internally, like just trying to 182 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,680 like replicate the quote UN quote, the good old days. 183 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:47,840 And it's kind of sad, right? Because what is so magnetizing 184 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,920 about someone is someone who is present. 185 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:55,360 So stop trying to resurrect the old you and create a new version 186 00:10:55,360 --> 00:11:01,720 of yourself that is even better. Tip #3 is stop leaking your life 187 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:09,680 force energy into men, partners, social media, your phone, other 188 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:13,120 people's opinions, everything outside of yourself. 189 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,560 It is very easy to become consumed by the external. 190 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,040 What is going on? What's he? 191 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:22,480 What does he think of me? Why hasn't he texted me back? 192 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:25,120 What does this person think of this post that I put out? 193 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,760 What about this, what about that? 194 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,480 What about that? Your energy is being pulled in a 195 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,480 million different directions. And what is so attractive about 196 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:38,000 someone is someone who is self-contained, someone who is 197 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,320 connected to themselves, someone who is connected to their body. 198 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,120 They value their own opinions. They're not getting sucked into 199 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:48,680 the lives of everybody else. They're self focused. 200 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:54,040 And I don't mean self absorbed, but they're actually like locked 201 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:59,680 in, focused, driven and can actually focus on on their 202 00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:02,240 internal world as well. When people say that they've 203 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:07,080 lost their spark, they're saying I've lost connection to myself. 204 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,400 And I would argue that that's not necessarily true. 205 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,760 It's just that your energy is scattered as fuck. 206 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,960 And so it's bringing that energy back into center. 207 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:20,280 And that's, you know, I didn't know it at the time when I, when 208 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,920 I named the connected woman, the connected woman, I didn't know 209 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:28,720 really what that meant. I mean, obviously I know what it 210 00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,360 meant, but I didn't know what it was going to mean in the grand 211 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,600 scheme of things in my world and my business. 212 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,920 Fun fact, the first round of the connected woman used to be 213 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:42,160 called the sultry Sister. I know, I know, this is proof. 214 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,240 Let yourself be cringe. Let yourself evolve. 215 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,920 Oh my God the fucking sultry sister lol. 216 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,920 Shout out if you were in that round, how fun. 217 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,480 But the connected woman, it's like I couldn't. 218 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:59,320 I could have never anticipated what those words were going to 219 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,400 mean because that is my entire brand ethos. 220 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,320 That is fully what I believe, that if you are not connected to 221 00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:09,600 yourself, it doesn't matter if you have the hottest body or you 222 00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:15,160 have the best or you you you have a relationship or you know 223 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,600 you have a business or you're making money, whatever. 224 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,560 If you're not connected to yourself, none of it is going to 225 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,280 bring you true fulfillment because what's the fucking 226 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:26,800 point? If you can't feel it, who cares? 227 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:34,000 So part of getting your spark back is pulling your energy back 228 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:39,880 to yourself and bringing it back home to your body where you can 229 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:43,240 feel and you're not absorbed in your phone, absorbed in what 230 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,800 he's doing. The amount of times I have to 231 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:50,760 tell clients, OK, I get it, he's done XYZ or she's done XYZ. 232 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,520 They're not in this container right now. 233 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:55,400 I'm not coaching them. I'm coaching you. 234 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,960 So we need to focus on you and what you can control. 235 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,120 Because no matter what you do, I could give you all the 236 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,880 communication tips in the entire fucking world and it wouldn't 237 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:08,160 make a lick of difference. If someone is not open to 238 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:11,760 change, not willing to change, not willing to come to the 239 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,160 table, right? I ended a friendship because I 240 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:19,880 was like I'm literally the only one fucking leaning in here and 241 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,120 for me that doesn't feel reciprocal so I'm not willing to 242 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,640 do that. But if I got so consumed in the 243 00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,360 energy of what does she think and what is she doing and why? 244 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,280 Why is she doing this and why is she being avoided? 245 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,760 Don't get me wrong I had those thoughts but I had to 246 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,680 continuously pull myself back of like it actually doesn't matter 247 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:42,480 and I've communicated. And if that's not shifting, I 248 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,080 can only control what I can control. 249 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,880 So I'm going to pull my focus back to me. 250 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,480 I'm going to regulate myself and I'm going to make a choice 251 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,120 that's in alignment with what I value and what I need in a 252 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,840 relationship or a friendship. If you're the woman who has 253 00:14:55,840 --> 00:15:00,000 consumed all of my podcast episodes and other podcasts and 254 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,920 you've read the self help books and you have done little master 255 00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:07,280 classes and you've dabbled here and there, but you still keep 256 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,800 repeating the same patterns in your love life and in 257 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,120 friendships and in money and all of the things. 258 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:16,440 And you're like, fuck, why do I keep doing this? 259 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:20,840 I need to put you on to something that is the awakening 260 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,960 retreats. They're happening in January 261 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:27,360 2026, and they are the place where you get to actually 262 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,240 transcend this behavior and finally get to do something 263 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,240 different. So your first retreat is going 264 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:36,600 to be awakening her. And this is where you are 265 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:40,000 connecting to your feminine energy, your pleasure, your 266 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:44,480 devotion, your joy, your ecstasy, your rage, your grief, 267 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,120 all of these pieces. So you get to live in totality 268 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:50,840 of the woman that you are. And also where you're going to 269 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,280 have an opportunity to heal your relationship with women. 270 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,920 Because the more I work with women, the more I realize how 271 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,920 many women have felt betrayed by other women almost more than 272 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,720 they have felt betrayed by men. And you're really focusing on 273 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:08,160 healing your relationship to yourself, to your body, to your 274 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,000 sexuality, to your joy, to your confidence, to your 275 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,600 insecurities, all of the things. And then your second retreat is 276 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,480 awakening him. And this is where we're 277 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:19,000 anchoring into your masculine energy. 278 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:23,280 So your relationship to responsibility and integrity, 279 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,440 following through on the things that you say that you're going 280 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:30,160 to do, discipline, discernment, direction, all of these things, 281 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:34,560 and healing your relationship with men, as well as then 282 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,360 bringing this into a focus of how do you then bring this into 283 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,360 relationships? So everything that you learned 284 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,520 at awakening her and about expansion and emotional 285 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,680 expression and all of these things, how do you then hold 286 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:50,520 that containment and bring that into your romantic relationships 287 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,880 and your friendships? And that is really the focus of 288 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,120 awakening him. You can choose to do either or, 289 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,480 but I've designed them to go together as a pair and that is 290 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:02,000 what most women who have decided to do the retreats are have 291 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,200 chosen to do. I do want to say these are the 292 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,200 last retreats that I'm going to be running. 293 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:09,319 If you've been saying I'll go to the next one or when you come to 294 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,599 the States, I'll do it. I'm never running one of the 295 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,079 states. I can tell you that right now 296 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,119 and I'm not running more retreats in the future. 297 00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:18,560 This is your time. Make a fucking holiday out of 298 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,119 it, come to Australia. Most of the women who have 299 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,680 signed up are coming from the US which is very cool. 300 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,400 DM me on Instagram if you have any questions, otherwise the 301 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,280 link will be at the description. I cannot wait to see you there. 302 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:35,120 Let's get back to the episode. Tip #4 is to stop isolating 303 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:38,240 yourself. This is one of my biggest 304 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:43,480 patterns is when I am stressed, overwhelmed, when I just feel 305 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:48,440 like there's too much going on, my tendency is to withdraw. 306 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:52,800 So I used to be very anxious where I would like, you know, 307 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,360 immediately need to pick up the phone and and talk to someone. 308 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,680 Oh my God, this thing has happened. 309 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,320 Oh my God, I'm so stressed in all the things. 310 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,440 And now it's kind of the opposite where I noticed a lot 311 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:08,240 this year, I would just isolate. I would just be by myself and 312 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,080 not want to connect with anyone. And there's still, obviously 313 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:14,200 there's still times where I'm like, OK, I need to actually 314 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,200 just be in my own energy and I need to be alone. 315 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,520 But that's very different from isolating yourself. 316 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,960 If you've lost your spark, ask yourself, am I meeting my need 317 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,720 for connection? And if you're like, I don't 318 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:28,760 really have, I don't really have a need for connection. 319 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,080 We all have a need for connection. 320 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,920 Every single person on the planet as human beings, we are 321 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,000 wired to need other human beings. 322 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,400 I know all you avoidance are going to be like, absolutely, 323 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,920 fuck that. I don't need another person. 324 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:44,400 I can just hear my strong independent women like burning 325 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,280 inside like I don't need anyone. But it's true, you actually do. 326 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:54,320 And we're wired for connection on a daily basis in that, though 327 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:58,320 we all have varying degrees of how much connection we need, 328 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:01,600 right? So someone might have like a 10 329 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:05,520 out of 10 need for connection and someone might have like a 7 330 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,720 out of 10 need for connection. So that's fine. 331 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,560 But watch the part of you that's like, no, I don't need that. 332 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:15,360 I don't need that at all. And if you have no, and I, I 333 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:16,560 work with so many clients on this. 334 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,520 If you have no friends and you have let you don't have a 335 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,000 partner, you don't have a support system, you're going to 336 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,920 feel pretty fucking depressed. So it's, and it's not about 337 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:30,640 having massive community. I'm not a big community person, 338 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,480 which is like, which is I feel like I get a lot of my need for 339 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:39,600 connection met through my business of like connecting with 340 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,480 the women inside the connected woman or the experience and 341 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,960 getting to chat to you guys on Instagram and and like you guys 342 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,640 message me about the podcast and stuff. 343 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,000 Like I get a lot of my need met for kind of community through 344 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,920 that. But in my day-to-day life, like 345 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,920 I have my, I have my partner, I have my close girlfriends, 346 00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:01,120 That's it. I don't want 1000 friends. 347 00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:03,480 Like that feels like a nightmare to me. 348 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:08,200 But we do need community. So if you've lost your spark, 349 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:11,560 ask yourself, am I getting out into the world? 350 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:15,640 Am I connecting with people? Am I having conversations? 351 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,280 A piece of homework that I gave one of my clients who was 352 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,240 struggling with this very thing, I was like, right. 353 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,920 She lives in New York City, which is like. 354 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,000 In in Manhattan, like just from from what I've seen, right, I've 355 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,160 only been to Manhattan once, but I was like 16 from what I've 356 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:36,400 seen on the movies in the movies, it's not the friendliest 357 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:41,040 of places, right? So I was like, cool, I want you 358 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,080 to compliment a stranger every single day for the next week. 359 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,920 Why? Because you're in contribution, 360 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,800 you're connecting with someone and you're giving. 361 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:54,640 It's going to make you feel good. 362 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,480 And of course she was like, Oh my God, Oh my God. 363 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,480 Oh my God. And at first it was like, fuck, 364 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,640 this is so hard. And like, this is, this is 365 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:02,760 really scary. And I'm like, I know. 366 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,600 And then it started to get easier and I was like, hey, 367 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:06,440 babe, like how are you feeling in general in your life? 368 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:07,840 And she was like, I feel so much better. 369 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,880 Like I've just been feeling like really good the past couple of 370 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,720 weeks. I'm like, interesting. 371 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,960 So if you want to get your spark back, stop fucking isolating 372 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,960 yourself. Put yourself out there, be in 373 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,920 community. And This is why I love spaces. 374 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,040 Like, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to plug my spaces 375 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:27,440 particularly like the connected woman. 376 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,160 And then the experience for sure, because you're in there 377 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:35,800 for a year, you develop these friendships, but you know, the 378 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,640 women are like some of a lot of the women from the connected 379 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,440 women and the experience are coming to the retreats and 380 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,440 they're like, Oh my God, I can't wait to see you, babe. 381 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,800 I can't believe we've been talking for like, you know, 8 382 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,320 months now and now we're going to get to actually finally meet 383 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,040 in person. And do you want to share an 384 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:52,440 Airbnb together for like the time in between the two two 385 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,520 retreats? And I've had clients who like 386 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:58,840 literally, you know, one will be in, I'm just making this up, but 387 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,280 like California and the other ones in Florida. 388 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,240 And they like fly to meet each other. 389 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,160 And I just think that's like the cutest thing ever. 390 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,960 So don't underestimate the power of online spaces because I don't 391 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,760 want to fucking hear it. If you're like, oh, but I live 392 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,880 in a space where like we don't really have those things. 393 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,520 Like go do things that interest you, you know, go do breath 394 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,840 work, go to a meditation class, go do pole dancing. 395 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:21,320 Go I'm, I'm this, there's this chick. 396 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,960 I don't even know if she listens to my podcast, but she's 397 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:29,840 messaged me on Instagram and she runs this like sexy and sensual 398 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,200 Pilates and yoga on Saturday mornings. 399 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,200 And just like every fucking Saturday I've been busy, but I'm 400 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:38,560 like, I, I want to go to these classes so bad because I'm like, 401 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,080 that is so fun to me. One, it's moving my body, it's 402 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,680 exercise. It's good for me. 403 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,800 Like I've talked about my back pain on here and my chiro was 404 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:47,760 like, you need to be doing like yoga and Pilates. 405 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,840 I'm like cool, but if I can make it sexy and I'm wearing like 406 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,440 little like bra and undies, like fucking hot. 407 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,080 Yes. And then I get to be with other 408 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:58,040 women who are embodying their feminine energy and their 409 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,400 sensuality as well. So it's like, get out of your 410 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,480 fucking house. And I am, trust me, like pot, 411 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:09,000 kettle, I'm the pot calling the kettle black because it's like 412 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:14,120 it is so easy for me to just stay home and like rot. 413 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,840 So I have to force myself to get out of the house as well. 414 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:22,360 So you're not alone in that. And also one more thing, Tiktok, 415 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,320 scrolling Tiktok is not connection. 416 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:30,320 That's consumption. And finally, tip #5 your spark 417 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,440 is hidden in the thing that you are avoiding. 418 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,360 Let that land. Your spark is hidden in the 419 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:46,920 thing that you are avoiding. What creates a lack of spark is 420 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:52,840 stagnation is stillness. It's like just, I just have this 421 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:59,520 image of like pond water that's just, you know, like sat there 422 00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:04,600 for ages and there's bugs and mosquitoes and like algae and 423 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,960 fucking. It's just like dirty, scummy 424 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:13,480 pond water versus an ocean that is like full of aliveness and 425 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:18,080 there's a current and waves and like, you know, all of this like 426 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,880 a marine, like a wildlife and there's just so much aliveness 427 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,720 in there. So what creates aliveness, what 428 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,680 creates that erotic current, that erotic pulse that we were 429 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:33,320 speaking about is action is motion is friction. 430 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,360 People are allergic to fucking discomfort. 431 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:37,880 And I've been one of those people. 432 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,640 To be honest, one of my highest values is comfort. 433 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:42,840 Is why? Like, I don't know if anyone 434 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,000 follows lazy millionaire on Instagram, but I fucking love 435 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,920 her. And I'm like, damn, I wish I 436 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,280 coined that like lazy millionaire because that is me. 437 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,320 I can be so fucking lazy. I value comfort so much. 438 00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:59,000 Like I if I can outsource it, I absolutely will. 439 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,880 Like I want to spend my life just in full pleasure. 440 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:07,000 But I also saw where I took it too far and I got into like a 441 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:09,760 lot of complacency and, and stagnation. 442 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:15,480 And so that energy of creating friction and moving through 443 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,240 discomfort like this fitness journey that I'm on, I'm like, 444 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,240 it's fucking hard. It is hard. 445 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,160 But every time I'm like, yes, I feel so good. 446 00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:25,600 I feel so, so accomplished. I feel so proud of myself. 447 00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,400 And there's a spark, there's an aliveness. 448 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,000 People can feel my magnetism in that. 449 00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:32,680 So that's this doesn't have to be fitness for you. 450 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:36,280 This could be your spark is hidden in the boundary. 451 00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:39,400 You're refusing to set the difficult conversation that you 452 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:44,640 are avoiding the business that you are not ready to pull the 453 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,960 pin on the investing into the connected woman or the 454 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,400 experience or the retreats. It's like, what's the thing that 455 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,320 you know that you need to do or the note, the thing that you 456 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,240 know you want to do, but you haven't pulled the pin on it 457 00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,920 yet. When I this last round of the 458 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,560 Connected woman, everyone does an intro video and I was asking 459 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:08,840 what drew you to this program? And everyone was sharing, you 460 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,000 know, I've been listening to the podcast for a year, 2 years, 461 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,960 three years, four years. And I finally pulled the pin on 462 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,320 the Connected Woman and I was like, this is really curious. 463 00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,440 I'm so interested in this. What took you so long? 464 00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:21,440 Like not from a space of judgement, from a space of 465 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,720 curiosity. I was like, what was the gap 466 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,000 between you finding the podcast and then it taking you 3 years 467 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:30,720 to sign up? And you know, people were like, 468 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,400 oh, like I was just scared of who I was going to become on the 469 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,280 other side. I was scared of the investment. 470 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,760 I was scared that I wouldn't be able to do it. 471 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:42,200 All of these things and every single person was like, this is 472 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:45,000 the best thing I've ever done. I'm so glad I did this. 473 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,720 I can't believe I didn't do it sooner. 474 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,240 And the reason I share that is because we've all had moments 475 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,040 like that where the anticipation of doing The thing is so much 476 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,320 worse than the actual thing. And we do the thing and we're 477 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,160 like, Oh my God, why didn't I do that sooner? 478 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,720 That was literally like so much easier than I thought it would 479 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,200 be. And I feel so relieved now that 480 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,480 that's over. So the more that we can take 481 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:13,000 action and we don't sit in deliberation forever, the easier 482 00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,120 it is going to be for you. And that is going to help you 483 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,080 get your spark back. Now, if you're listening to this 484 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:24,240 thinking, Oh my gosh, all of those, I do all of those things, 485 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,040 that is me. I feel like a shell of myself. 486 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,480 You guys know that trend. That's like people think I don't 487 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,080 know ball. Trust me, I know ball or 488 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,800 whatever it is and people show like they're like glow up. 489 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,040 If you're still in the I'm a shell of myself era, then you 490 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:41,400 are going to want to make space and time to come to the 491 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,440 awakening retreats. They're happening January 16th 492 00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:51,520 to the 19th and the 23rd to the 26th. 2006, 2006, 2026, yes, 493 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,160 we're time traveling to the past. 494 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:57,680 So literally in a couple of weeks, you've still got time if 495 00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:01,520 there's still spots left because this is the space where you stop 496 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,000 abandoning yourself. You find your fucking spark, 497 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:07,280 you're in community, you stop isolating yourself. 498 00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:10,360 You take action on the things that you say that you want. 499 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:13,800 You connect to yourself and you're connected to your body. 500 00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,480 You pull that focus back to yourself. 501 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,480 All of these things that I just said about how to get your spark 502 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,280 back, these are the spaces where we do it in real time. 503 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:24,680 So you don't need to take seven years of therapy for this to 504 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,800 happen. You get to do it in literally 2 505 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,680 weekends. So if you're feeling that 506 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,880 internal pull of like Oh my God, should I, shouldn't I, oh can I, 507 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:35,680 can I, can I afford to do this like it should? 508 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,480 Can I take time off? You know, but the kids all. 509 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,960 But This is Money to invest in myself. 510 00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:43,840 Time to pull the trigger and take action. 511 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,400 The link will be in the description in the show notes. 512 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,960 You can DM me on Instagram if you have any questions and I 513 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,920 would love to support you. I will see you in the next 514 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,240 episode. I love you so much. 515 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,200 Have a fantastic week. Wow, bye. 516 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:57,400 All right my love. Thank you so much for listening 517 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,800 today's podcast episode. Take what resonates and leave 518 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,520 the rest. There is no obligation, but you 519 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,960 do have a responsibility to yourself to actually do the 520 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,400 work. So implement what you have 521 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:12,400 learned here. Let this episode be a reminder 522 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,200 that you are built for more. You are not built for the bare 523 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,040 minimum. You are not built for mediocre. 524 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,480 You are meant to live a big beautiful old life and if you 525 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,560 want to go deeper, come follow me over on Instagram at Michelle 526 00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:25,800 Panning. The link will be in the 527 00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:27,880 description. That is where I share all the 528 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,800 behind the scenes content and you will get to follow me and my 529 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,040 journey as I raise my standards alongside you. 530 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,880 So I love you, I believe in your next level and I will see you in 531 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:42,200 the next episode. Now go unbuck your life, babe.