Welcome to the Unfuck Your Relationships podcast, the
podcast where we are not just unfucking your love life, but
unfucking your relationship to yourself and your entire life.
Around here. We raise your standards, we
break patterns, we upgrade yourself concept.
We are talking about boundaries, money, shadow work, your
relationship to your body, sex, all of it.
We are covering your entire life baby.
Think of this podcast as like Big Sister Energy where I am no
fluff, no bullshit, but I am also very open with my heart and
I'm going to share all of me with you and that will be able
to transform your entire life through you listening to this
podcast. So if you are ready to stop
settling for the bare minimum and actually be the woman that
you can wake up in the morning and be proud of, you are in the
right place. Let's get into today's episode.
Hello, my loves. Welcome back to the Unfuck Your
Relationships podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Panning,
and this is episode 229. And we're going to talk about
how to make 2026 your most successful year yet.
OK, I know we're like coming up at the end of 2025.
You know, we're like mid-december now and it is time
like don't wait till January 1st for you to actually start
planning. Like I've started, I started
planning like literally a few months ago.
But I want to bring you guys into my world and just give you
some like actual tangible strategies for you to plan for
you to have like the most successful, like wealthiest,
sexiest, hottest, most loving, best fucking year that you could
possibly ever imagine. OK, so First things first, join
the Betrates. They are coming up in mid Jan
and the end of Jan we have awakening her and awakening him.
If you keep repeating the same patterns with yourself, with
yourself, confidence in your sexuality, you are not owning
your power. You keep people pleasing.
You want to be confident, you want to have be feel connected
to your body. You want to have healthy
relationships. You want to be able to
communicate effectively. You want to be able to follow
through on the things that you say that you want to do.
The retreats are where you fucking do that.
OK, So the links will be in the description for that.
At the time of recording this, we still have a couple of rooms
left, so hopefully they're still there, but we shall see.
OK, let's get into this one. I want you to claim 2026 as a
fresh start. OK?
So 2026 is a blank slate. We do not need to drag in the
same patterns, the same health shit, the same dips and like,
you know, like just shitty anxious of wooden loops and, and
all of the things that you may have been doing in 2025.
You get to leave that in 2025. Like after you listen to this
podcast, you get to leave that where it is.
You do not need to drag it into another year.
You have a fresh start. And This is why people love the
energy of January 1st. They love a Monday.
They love a Monday because it feels like a fresh start.
But don't let this be another example of where you get to the
end of 2026 and you're like, that was the same as 2025 and
2024 and actually same as all the way back to 2012.
No, this is the year where we get to do something different #2
anchor into self belief. You have to fucking believe that
you can do this. You have believe that you can
change even if you have all the evidence in the world to support
that you will not change, that you have not changed, that
you've been doing the same thing since 2012.
So what? So what?
I don't care if you are 97 years old.
It is never too late to change your behavior and that starts
with you believing that you can. Even if it's point 1% like I
talked about in a couple of episodes ago, it could be .1%
that you believe. And then you start to anchor
into the the identity of OK, well, if I let's say that you
want to meet the love of your life this year or you want to
have like the most incredible relationship, OK, cool.
If I was already in the most incredible relationship of my
life, how do I then show up which then goes to the next
thing which is behavior. OK, so I believe that I can have
this relationship. Even if it's point 1%.
I'm going to let that self belief grow over time.
OK, I believe that I can have this amazing relationship.
How do I need to identify if I am in a healthy relationship?
Well, I'm someone who communicates.
I'm honest, I have integrity, I'm vulnerable, I am open, I'm
kind, I am loving, I am thoughtful.
OK, great. These are all the things.
Now, what behaviors go along with those things?
Well, I plan things for my partner or I allow myself to
receive and I say thank you. I stop criticizing.
I actually start leaning into appreciation.
Great. From there comes your results.
Self belief, identity, behavior results, repeat process or rinse
and repeat. Third, I want you to reflect on
2025 like a grown woman, OK? We're all adults here.
I love you. Let's look at this objectively
so you don't have to look at Oh my God, it was such a shit year.
If it was right, You don't have to look at, oh, you know, I
could look at, Oh my God, I went through a breakup this year and,
and my business felt really heavy and it was hard.
And you know, I, I hired people in my team and then that went to
shit and like, I could look at that or I could be like, what
did I learn? Oh my God, One I like learned
how to choose myself. I learned how to have really
difficult conversations with team members.
I learned how to move quickly to make make decisions effectively
when something wasn't working. I was like, OK, cool.
Nope, this isn't a fit. Next I ended friendships that
were no longer aligned. Like there were so many things
that I learned. OK, I learned to what did they
say? A hire slow, fire fast, right?
OK, cool. I learned that lesson.
So it's actually being very, very objective about what did I
do well and what do I need to improve on without going into a
shame spiral. I'm looking at how I'm showing
up in my relationship right now and I'm thinking, OK, cool.
There's some things that I need to work on.
This is a different dynamic. There's some things that I need
to work on that I haven't ever had to work on before.
OK, cool. Rather than going, my God, I
can't believe this is even a problem.
No, it's OK, cool. I can see that this is a
problem. I could see that this could get
into a bigger problem if I don't address it now.
So these are the things that I'm going to be working on.
I'm going to stop counting numbers because there's a lot
and I'm going to get sidetracked.
So from there, I want you to create a vision.
If you future project yourself into December 31st, 2026.
Who are you? How do you feel?
What have you accomplished? How have you shown up?
Like what does your life actually look like?
What house do you live in? Do you have pets?
Like who is around you? What can you see?
What can you hear? What are you?
What can you touch? What can you smell?
What can you taste? Actually turn up all your senses
and make it real. This is how you are going to
actually anchor into the end result of it already being done.
OK, that we call this A5 Senses Reality.
And then from there, I want you to actually anchor into why does
this even matter? Why does this matter to you?
Had a conversation with a private client the other day
around. She was saying that she also
wants to implement the habit of discipline in 2026.
And I was like, OK, cool. How would you be showing up?
Right? And it was something, I can't
remember exactly what it said, but like, you know, if I was
disciplined, I'd be following through on the things that I
said. I was like, does that feel
compelling to you, right. Does that feel compelling?
Like why, why is this important to you?
Because like you should be disciplined so that you can get
the things that you want. And I'm kind of I'm, I'm
exaggerating, right? And I was like, babe, you need
to find a why that doesn't push you to do the things that you
want to do. It pulls you to do the things
that you must do when things go from being should do that too.
I must do that because it is so fucking important to me.
Willpower is no longer an issue right When you must make your
relationship work, you end up showing up differently than Oh
well, I should do something for my partner.
We should do a relationship check in.
It becomes wow, I know that my relationship is this make or
break. I will show up.
I must, right? So that's something that I want
you to think about. Why is this important to you?
This is why people wait until their relationship is like
they're on the brink of divorce before they come see me, or they
just went through a really traumatic breakup again and then
they're like, OK, fine. I'm going to join the connected
woman. Why are we waiting until life
gets so fucking bad and you are so miserable for you to do
anything about it? Well, there's a good reason for
that because the pain has become so significant that your why has
dialed up to A to 1000, right? That it feels so deeply
uncomfortable that you feel you have no choice to move.
It's same reason why some people don't choose to eat healthy
until they've had triple bypass surgery, right?
And so it's like that I need you to find know why that feels
really compelling. And something also that that
will drive you is to find something outside of yourself as
well. You can absolutely be driven,
you know. So for me, it's like I, yeah,
I'm driven by like wanting to have a fucking hot body.
I'm also driven by, I have a lot of back pain and I want to be
able to wake up in the morning and feel mobile and flexible and
strong and fit. I want to be able to like walk
up the stairs and not feel fucking gassed, right?
I want to be the person who is like going on my hot girl walks
and that is that feels exciting to me for you.
So many people say I'm willing to die for my children, but are
you willing to live for them? Are you willing to put in the
work to fix your marriage? Are you willing to show them
what it looks like to actually be confident in your body?
Are you willing to, you know, put in the work to change your
eating habits? I don't know what it is, right?
Even this podcast studio that I'm recording in, she was
telling me about another woman who records her podcast here who
I'm pretty sure she said she like has a full time job, she
has three kids and I'm pulling inside of my ass.
She's like got a full time job, has three kids and like does
other things. And then she also comes in here
to record her podcast at 3:00 in the morning.
And then she edits them all herself.
That is because I would assume for that woman, this the her
podcast is a absolute must. She was like, I have something
to say and the world needs to hear it that I fuck with.
I admire that so much. For me, I was really like, do
you know what? I'm actually not feeling
fulfilled in my life. What would feel really fucking
good for me giving back. Cool.
So the other day I'm waiting for my like working with children
certificate, but I applied to be a volunteer for like a domestic
violence charity because that is something that I'm really
passionate about having experienced it myself.
And also so many of my clients have experienced domestic
violence on some level, whether it's in relationships or when
they were a child or whatever. It's something I feel really,
really passionate about and that feels so good for.
It's actually selfish for me to to give me a sense of
fulfillment and purpose. And that why drives me so much.
So you need to anchor into your why.
If you are going to instill habits or goals or whatever, you
need to have a why behind it. You need to have a reason.
From there, follow the 1% rule. You do not need to overhaul your
entire life overnight. And if you are stuck in your ego
and you are perfectionist, you are going to want to do that.
You're going to want to be like, right, I'm a raw vegan now and
I'm never going to get angry again in my relationship ever.
I'm never going to have a moment of reactivity and all my
friendships out the window. I'm starting from scratch and
I'm getting a whole new wardrobe and I'm going to be the hottest,
wealthiest, best version of myself ever.
Great. OK, then three days go by and
you're like, Oh my God, I can't keep this up.
You know, it's the person who goes from living like a
completely sedentary life to being like, I'm going to get
25,000 steps a day. You're not, you may eventually,
but you're not gonna like that's not sustainable.
So it's being about, it's being 1% better than you were
yesterday. That's it.
Just 1% better. How can you show up just a
little bit differently today? It's really that age-old thing
that people say where people overestimate what they can do in
a year and underestimate what they can do in one or two
decades. And that really is a thing.
Think big. Like think fucking big.
OK, so many of us just have the tiniest little dreams because we
already think, oh, well, I'm not going to be able to do it.
Think big, but start small. OK, so if you want to become
really, really, really, you know, fit and healthy and all
the things, it starts with one workout.
If you want to start a habit of reading every single day, well,
maybe it's not, you know, OK, I'm going to finish one book a
week. Maybe you're like, I'm going to
read 5 pages every day. I'm going to read one page or
I'm going to read for 1-10 minutes a day when it's money,
OK, I'm going to choose to look at my bank account.
You know, I'm going to have one difficult conversation.
It doesn't have to be overhauled overnight, but these small,
repeatable actions will indeed shift your entire life.
Like you will look back in a year's time and be like, Oh my
God, I can't believe how far I've actually come.
If you're the woman who has consumed all of my podcast
episodes and other podcasts, and you've read the self help books
and you have done little master classes and you've dabbled here
and there, but you still keep repeating the same patterns in
your love life and in friendships and in money and all
of the things. And you're like, fuck, why do I
keep doing this? I need to put you on to
something that is the awakening retreats.
They're happening in January 2026, and they are the place
where you get to actually transcend this behavior and
finally get to do something different.
So your first retreat is going to be awakening her.
And this is where you are connecting to your feminine
energy, your pleasure, your devotion, your joy, your
ecstasy, your rage, your grief, all of these pieces.
So you get to live in totality of the woman that you are.
And also where you're going to have an opportunity to heal your
relationship with women. Because the more I work with
women, the more I realize how many women have felt betrayed by
other women almost more than they have felt betrayed by men.
And you're really focusing on healing your relationship to
yourself, to your body, to your sexuality, to your joy, to your
confidence, to your insecurities, all of the things.
And then your second retreat is awakening him.
And this is where we're anchoring into your masculine
energy. So your relationship to
responsibility and integrity, following through on the things
that you say that you're going to do, discipline, discernment,
direction, all of these things, and healing your relationship
with men, as well as then bringing this into a focus of
how do you then bring this into relationships?
So everything that you learned at awakening her and about
expansion and emotional expression and all these things,
how do you then hold that containment and bring that into
your romantic relationships and your friendships?
And that is really the focus of awakening him.
You can choose to do either or, but I've designed them to go
together as a pair and that is what most women who have decided
to do the retreats are have chosen to do.
I do want to say these are the last retreats that I'm going to
be running. If you've been saying I'll go to
the next one or when you come to the States, I'll do it.
I'm never running one of the states.
I can tell you that right now and I'm not running more
retreats in the future. This is your time.
Make a fucking holiday out of it, come to Australia.
Most of the women who have signed up are coming from the
US, which is very cool. DM me on Instagram if you have
any questions, otherwise the link will be at the description.
I cannot wait to see you there. Let's get back to the episode.
If you want to make 2026 your most successful year yet, the
biggest piece of advice I can give you is to be very selective
with the people you have around you.
The people you surround yourself with will make or break your
success. They will either be there to
celebrate you and encourage you and be so happy about the
changes that you are making, or they're the friend who secretly
he hates you and will try to bring you down because you are
reflecting all their gaps towards them.
Those are not the kind of people that you want in your life.
You want people who are encouraging you or at the very
least just being like cool babes.
Like I know you've got your stuff to focus on.
I'm here when you're ready to connect.
I've had friends like that where, you know, I was doing a
really intense course and I was like, for the next month, I'm
going to be unavailable. And my friends were like, cool,
see you in a month. OK, amazing.
No one was like, Oh my God, that's So what do you mean?
What, what, what kind? Of course is it?
No, not that we don't have time for that.
So be very selective and discerning about the people that
you have in your world. Be selective with your energy.
Your energy is a currency. Don't deplete that currency.
It's very important that you protect your energy.
Next, I want you to focus on progress over perfection.
If you are aiming for perfection, you are going to be
sorely fucking disappointed. What I focus on is that 1%
better and how can I be proud of myself?
So for instance, when I'm at the gym and I'm doing RDLSIRDLS,
kill me. Not as bad as Bulgarian split
squats but that's another thing for another day.
But RDL is like do you know how many times it goes through my
mind? No one is going to know.
My coach isn't going to know. If I only do 9 reps instead of
12, I would know. I would know.
So you best believe because I'm like well I'm not a cheater.
You best believe I ain't cheating on a single fucking
Rep. I'm doing all 12.
Even if I need to lower the weight, even if I need to do
whatever, I am doing it till failure.
And that is the thing. It's like progress, not
perfection, right? By the end of it, like, yeah,
I'm, I'm like, and I make sure that my form is always correct.
But it's like, you know, I'm looking at other people and the
weight that they have on the barbell doing RDLS and I'm a lot
lighter. And I'm like, OK, but I'm a
beginner and over time I have progressed a lot, which is
amazing. And that's really all that you
can ask for. It's not about the perfect time,
the perfect plan, the perfect whatever, blah, blah, blah.
Start now. Let it be fucking messy.
Let it be what it is. And just people spend so much
time planning and planning and planning and planning and not
actually executing. And The thing is knowledge is
potential power. Execution is actual power.
So when we actually do the things, and this is what I say,
you know, I say all the time, clock it, own it, clean it up.
It's all well and good that you clock it and that you own it.
But if you don't clean it up, nothing's going to change.
And the cleaning it up is I'm going to, I'm just going to do
it. I'm going to do it messy.
I'm going to do it weird. I'm going to do it.
If it's hard, I'm going to do it.
I'm going to make the hard choice and in 2026, I want you
to celebrate every win, every win.
This is something that I'm actually still trying to get
better at, right? It's very easy for me to focus
on what's not working. I'm a Virgo, guys.
It's very easy for me to look at like, Nope, this is wrong, this
is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong.
Be very negatively geared, but it's important to celebrate the
wins. And will you fail?
Yes. You will learn so much from
failure. OK, beautiful.
And if you're successful and you're a high achiever and
you're particularly if you're an entrepreneur, you probably know
that you learn more from failure than you do from success.
But don't let that be at the cost of celebrating your wins.
So even in a relationship, people thrive.
Your partner will thrive on appreciation, not criticism.
So the more that you can find those glimmers of this is
working. I love this.
That's amazing. Yes, Oh, I want more of this.
Yes, yes, yes. We did that really well.
I'm so proud of how we navigated that conversation.
I'm so proud of how I'm showing up in this relationship.
I'm so proud of, you know, saying I needed more time during
sex. I'm that celebrate the fucking
wins. The next thing I would tell you
if you wanted to make 2026 your best year yet and your most
successful year yet is to invest in yourself all year long.
So that could be investing in books, coaching courses,
personal development, whatever it is, bodywork, actually
understanding that you are your best investment, you are your
safest investment. People want to buy a house and
I'm like, yeah, I get that. But also like what I would make
on a return in a house, I could literally make in my business
tenfold. So it actually makes sense that
I would invest in me and my business.
And also I was talking about this with my best friend a
little while ago and she was like, she, she loves AI and like
getting predictions and like science and breaking things
down. And she was like, OK, my
predictions are that with the rise of AI, people are going to
become more and more and more reliant on it for connection and
therapy. She was saying how someone that
she knows is like, yeah, I use it to text my friends.
Like, she'll receive a text message from a friend and then
put it into chat. And then chat will be like,
here's how I would respond, and then she'll respond to her
friends. That is fucking crazy to me.
Like, we have lost all human connection.
So people will become more and more reliant on chat.
And then that will create even more of a loneliness epidemic.
And the relationship coaching industry is going to boom.
And I'm like, yay, right. But the reason that I share that
is because your relationships are your most valuable asset
outside of your relationship with yourself.
It is your most valuable asset, your relationships.
And so you can focus on all the external things like, yeah,
invest in your business, invest in, you know, different things,
but also you need to be investing in your relationships
because your relationships have the biggest influence out of
everything on your bank account, your health, your stress levels,
your sleep, everything. It has such a big influence.
So if you are not willing to attend to your relationships, if
that is not important to you, and that could be your
friendships, your, your romantic relationship, your love life,
whatever. I don't know what to tell you it
it may or may not be important to you, but I'm telling you
relationships. They have done studies on this.
It is the most influential aspect of our lives.
And with that, start now, not later.
Again, let it be messy. You could be listening to this
in it could be January 1st, it could be April 2026, it could be
October 2026, it could be fucking 2028.
I don't know. But when you are listening to
this start now, what is the point in delaying and being
like, oh, but I'm going to wait for the perfect circumstances of
when I do this. And you know, people say, oh,
after I've finished moving or after I do this or after I turn
30, after my Saturn's return is finished or after this or when
the perfect circumstances, or I know I said that it was when I
had 10K in my bank account, but actually I need it to be 50K in
my bank account or when I'm earning this amount of money.
What's the point? Because you've been saying I'm
going to start for the last six years.
And so it's like, OK, cool. Recognizing there is no perfect
time. I'm going to start now.
I'm going to start with what I have and I'm going to execute
immediately. The second to last thing that I
want to share with you is if you want to make 2026 your most
successful year yet, you need to embody it.
Don't just mindset your way through it.
So affirmations and future projecting and writing down your
goals is all beautiful, but if you don't have the nervous
system to match those big dreams and those big goals, you're
going to get very stuck or well, and or you could also get those
things would then be deeply unfulfilled because you're
disconnected from your body. You can't actually receive the
love. You can't receive what it feels
like to be abundant and wealthy. You can't receive, you know, you
don't have the embodied confidence, even though you got
the body of your dreams. And so embodiment is where your
next level actually resides and that's where it lives.
And that is really the work that we do inside, you know, the
retreats, the experience, the connected woman, all of those
spaces. It's why I focus so heavily on
embodiment because I'm like, I know that between mindset and
shadow work and embodiment, that is the really the trifecta that
actually helps you transcend to the next level.
And finally, again, if you want to make 2026 your most
successful year yet, you need to become the woman who has high
standards. Self worth is not just yelling I
deserve more. It's showing up like you do.
It's showing up like you deserve more.
It's showing up like you have high levels of self respect.
It's showing up like you have a strong work ethic.
It's showing up like you give a shit about your relationships.
It's showing up like you care about your friends and your your
family and your partner. It's showing up like you care
about yourself. That is out of everything that I
have said, let that be your take away.
If you want 2026 to be the year that everything changes, filter
it through this question. If I loved myself truly and
deeply, what choice would I make here?
Because I can guarantee there would be so many things that you
would either start doing and there would be so many things
that you stop doing and you would stop entertaining
different relationships and patterns and behaviors because
you would know this is not a loving choice towards myself.
So that is what I've got for you.
If you want to make 2026 your best year yet, your most
successful year yet, the year where you are so loved and
cherished and you have self respect and self worth, come
join me inside the Connected Woman.
We are running our last live round in January and after that
it will be self study. So if you want to come do it
with me and you want to do it live, that is the place to do
it. We still, I'm, I'm not sure at
the time of recording this, we still have a couple of spots for
the retreats. So if you're ready, let's
fucking go. It is really the space where you
collapse 10 years of therapy into two separate weekends.
So that is what I've got for you.
I love you guys. I'm so fucking excited to roll
into 2026 with you guys. We've still got a couple of
weeks left, but I'm so excited. I hope you have a beautiful
week. I love you.
Talk to you next week and next week's episode.
Bye. All right, my love.
Thank you so much for listening today's podcast episode.
Take what resonates and leave the rest.
There is no obligation, but you do have a responsibility to
yourself to actually do the work.
So implement what you have learned here.
Let this episode be a reminder that you are built for more.
You are not built for the bare minimum.
You are not built for mediocre. You are meant to live a big
beautiful old life and if you want to go deeper, come follow
me over on Instagram at Michelle Panning.
The link will be in the description.
That is where I share all the behind the scenes content and
you will get to follow me and my journey as I raise my standards
alongside you. So I love you, I believe in your
next level and I will see you in the next episode.
Now go unbuck your life, babe.