1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,960 Welcome to the Unfuck Your Relationships podcast, the 2 00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,200 podcast where we are not just unfucking your love life, but 3 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:10,040 unfucking your relationship to yourself and your entire life. 4 00:00:10,280 --> 00:00:12,360 Around here. We raise your standards, we 5 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:15,280 break patterns, we upgrade yourself concept. 6 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,800 We are talking about boundaries, money, shadow work, your 7 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:21,880 relationship to your body, sex, all of it. 8 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,680 We are covering your entire life baby. 9 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,800 Think of this podcast as like Big Sister Energy where I am no 10 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:33,360 fluff, no bullshit, but I am also very open with my heart and 11 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,840 I'm going to share all of me with you and that will be able 12 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:40,240 to transform your entire life through you listening to this 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,080 podcast. So if you are ready to stop 14 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,280 settling for the bare minimum and actually be the woman that 15 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,840 you can wake up in the morning and be proud of, you are in the 16 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,440 right place. Let's get into today's episode. 17 00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,840 Hello my loves, welcome back to the Unfuck Your Relationships 18 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,640 podcast. I'm your host, Michelle Panning, 19 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,480 and this is episode 232. And happy motherfucking new 20 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,320 year. It is 2026. 21 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,680 I'm so excited. OK, well technically at the time 22 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,920 of recording this, this is the 17th of December 2025, but I am 23 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,000 anchoring into the vibes of 2026. 24 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:23,400 I'm anchoring into all the juicy yumminess that is the year 1. 25 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,360 So I said in a couple of episodes back, one or two 26 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:31,760 episodes ago, I was talking about how 2025 was year nine in 27 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,320 numerology. So that is the year of 28 00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:37,680 completion, which is what, the last year of last week's. 29 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,640 Well, I guess it was also last year, but last week's episode 30 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:45,200 was about was around this energy of like, let's complete 2025. 31 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,120 Let's talk about the energy of completion. 32 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:50,320 Now we're talking about like the energy of like newness and 33 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:54,960 aliveness, which is a year one, which is rebirth and fresh and 34 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,880 new and you know, creation. And I'm just very, very, very 35 00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:03,560 excited about this year because so much has happened in the last 36 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:05,240 nine years. I'm sure you can look back, like 37 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,800 look back at where you were nine years ago, eight years ago, 38 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,800 7654321. Like all of those things have 39 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,960 led you to this point, which is very cool. 40 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,520 So today I want to talk about 26 lessons for 2026. 41 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,840 These are the things that I'm going to like, live by, swear 42 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,080 by. So I want to take you through 43 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,040 them 1 by 1. So let's get into it. 44 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,040 And I've kind of broken them up into categories so you'll see 45 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,960 little themes. So the first one is that 46 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:35,880 discipline beats motivation every single time. 47 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:41,000 I'm not relying on motivation to get me to do shit because 48 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,240 otherwise I will sit on my couch and watch Netflix for all of 49 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:47,000 eternity. I really will. 50 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,200 I really will. Between Netflix, Disney, and 51 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:53,200 HBO, your girl's set and now Real Housewives is out of 52 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,120 Beverly Hills. Like your girl will never leave 53 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:57,920 the couch if I was relying on motivation. 54 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,680 OK, so discipline beats motivation every single time. 55 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:05,920 And that means doing shit that you don't want to do, when you 56 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:09,280 don't want to do it when you're tired, when it's hard, when it's 57 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,600 raining, when you would rather like, cross your arms and just 58 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:18,400 shut up and shut down and like, or you want to throw a tantrum. 59 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,280 Discipline beats motivation. You're not going to feel 60 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:24,160 motivated to do the difficult things. 61 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:26,320 You're not going to feel motivated to do an embodiment 62 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:27,680 practice. You're not going to feel 63 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,960 motivated to actually implement the things that I talked about 64 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,000 on the podcast. But if you are dead serious 65 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,240 about changing your life, you'll be disciplined enough to do it 66 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:42,600 #2 if it is not sustainable, it's not aligned. 67 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,360 So for instance, if you and I talk a lot about health and you 68 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,480 might be like, bitch, this is a relationship podcast. 69 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,040 Can you please talk about relationships? 70 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,320 Yes, I'm talking about, right, my relationship to my health 71 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,920 because this is like the number one thing that I want to work on 72 00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:04,440 in 2026. So if I'm going from not that I 73 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:07,320 wasn't working out at all, but let's just say I, let's just say 74 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:15,160 I got 500 steps a day and didn't work out ever and I was eating 75 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,120 4000 calories a day of junk food. 76 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,000 Let's just say that that was my starting point. 77 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,520 OK, it's not, but let's just say that it was. 78 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,960 If I'm like, great, now I'm going to eat 1200 calories, I'm 79 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,520 going to get 20,000 steps a day and I'm going to work out seven 80 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,720 days a week. Do you think that I would 81 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,000 fucking keep that up? No. 82 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,560 So if it's not sustainable, it's not aligned. 83 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,520 And I think this is also where a lot of people get tripped up in 84 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,240 relationships because they give their absolute best in the 85 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,680 relationship, but they're over giving. 86 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,160 They completely abandoned their own personal individuality and 87 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,280 their own life. And then they're over giving and 88 00:04:56,280 --> 00:05:01,880 then 2346 months in, they're like, fuck, I can't keep that 89 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,560 up. And it's because it wasn't 90 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:06,120 sustainable in the 1st place. It's not sustainable to give, 91 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,480 give, give, give, give, give, give, give, give without 92 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,160 actually taking time to replenish. 93 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:15,280 So if it's not sustainable, it's not aligned #3 I don't negotiate 94 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:20,920 with my standards when I'm tired or PMS ING or on my period or 95 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:24,560 hungry or whatever. And this is something I'm still 96 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:31,160 like still implementing because fuck me, food noise is real. 97 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,960 But it's like we negotiate with our standards. 98 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,280 We say that we're going to do something. 99 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,280 We say that we're going to have a difficult conversation. 100 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:40,200 We say that we're going to do the embodiment practice. 101 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,640 We say that we're going to do the coursework. 102 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,600 We say that we're going to implement from the podcast. 103 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:46,040 We say that we're going to go for a walk. 104 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,600 We say that we're going to go to the gym. 105 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:52,120 And then the second that we're like, I'm tired, we don't do it. 106 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:56,080 And that is where you are going to get tripped up because if you 107 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,880 skip it one time, that's not the make or break. 108 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:03,400 But if you skip that multiple times a week over the course of 109 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,120 a year, you fucked it. You fucked the whole year. 110 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,960 And then you've just, you've just cemented the idea that you 111 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,800 actually can't trust yourself. And that is what I actually want 112 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:14,640 to save you from. Because self trust means I don't 113 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,840 care if I'm tired, PMS ING on my period, hungry, whatever. 114 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,800 I'm following through with the things that I said that I'm 115 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:25,120 going to do now in saying that, you get to adjust, right? 116 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:29,920 So for instance, I'm day one of my bleed today. 117 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,040 Guess who's here recording 4 episodes for the podcast for you 118 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,400 guys. I wasn't like, I can't, I just 119 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,320 need to be in bed resting. Guess who's also going to 120 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,120 Reformer Pilates later today? Me. 121 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,760 I want you guys to build self trust and that is how we build 122 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:52,240 that over time of being unwilling to negotiate with our 123 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,440 standards no matter what is going on. 124 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:59,600 So like I was saying with, you know, reformer Pilates, but like 125 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:06,960 day 2 tomorrow when I'm doing glutes and quads, I think I'm 126 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,960 just going to go a little bit lighter on my on my weights, 127 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:11,920 right? So like, I'm not going to push 128 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,960 myself. I'm, I'm still going to push 129 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:18,440 myself, but like, it might not be at the same intensity of when 130 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:22,240 I'm, you know, in my follicular phase or I'm ovulating, but I'm 131 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:26,440 still fucking going #4. Consistency is sexier than 132 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,880 intensity. OK. 133 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,640 So it is tempting to, especially in the new year, be like, go, 134 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,560 go, go all guns blazing. I'm going to like, I'm going to 135 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,560 heal my relationships and I'm going to heal my relationship 136 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:38,840 with my body. And I'm going to start a 137 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,120 business and I'm going to make 7 figures and I'm going to do this 138 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,840 and I'm going to do that. And no, no, no, no, no, no. 139 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,960 And it's like firing on all cylinders. 140 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,720 Fucking awesome, but also probably not sustainable. 141 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:55,440 So be pick something that you can actually be consistent with. 142 00:07:55,720 --> 00:08:02,600 So last year when I was, well, no, sorry, 2024, I went through 143 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:07,280 a very, very, very intense depression and I could barely 144 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,360 get out of bed. And so rather than me saying, 145 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:12,440 OK, OK, I know that getting outside and getting my steps is 146 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,280 going to be so healthy for me and it's going to help. 147 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:17,480 Rather than saying I'm going to go get 10,000 steps, I was like, 148 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,080 I'm just going to walk to the end of the fucking driveway. 149 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,280 And then if I want to walk back, I can. 150 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,520 And every time I would end up going for like 20-30, forty 151 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:29,400 minutes an hour. But I just gave myself like, all 152 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,000 you have to do is just get out of the house and go walk. 153 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,280 That's it. Just be consistent with that. 154 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:35,600 So consistency is sexier than intensity. 155 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,679 And even think about that in a relationship context as well, 156 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:41,799 where a guy could show up for you in the beginning and it's 157 00:08:41,799 --> 00:08:43,840 like love bombing and it's Super Nintendo and like, Oh my God, 158 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,720 I've never met anyone like you. And then it dies off really, 159 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,480 really quickly. It's like if you were to add 160 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,280 gasoline onto a fire, it's going to like really intensely have 161 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,840 this massive fire, but it's going to die down very quickly, 162 00:08:56,120 --> 00:09:00,240 right? Versus when you actually can 163 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:04,800 like have consistency with a man that is fucking sexy and that 164 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:09,520 slow burn is going to make all the difference #5 keeping 165 00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:12,520 promises to yourself before anyone else. 166 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,560 This is not a license to be a shit partner, a shit friend. 167 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:18,840 I see this all the time in the personal development industry 168 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:22,040 where people are like, you get a boundary, you get a boundary, 169 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:23,320 you get a boundary, you get a boundary. 170 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:25,000 Like everything's about, oh, no, sorry. 171 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,320 Like I just, I really need to take time to recharge. 172 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,120 Like I'm not going to be able to make it to your birthday. 173 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:32,000 Like, oh, no, I know that this is going on for you, but like, 174 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,640 I'm just really needing like a time and don't be a fucking 175 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,200 Dick. But I do want you to keep your 176 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:42,080 promises to yourself versus overextending yourself for other 177 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,320 people just to be a people pleaser so you can paint, 178 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:47,640 maintain your image that you are likable, OK? 179 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,920 Because keeping your promises to yourself is how you are going to 180 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,640 build this muscle of self trust and self respect over a long 181 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,840 period of time. Number six, your triggers are 182 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,360 showing you where you still abandoned yourself. 183 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:04,840 The things where you get defensive or you feel like you 184 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,440 want to shut down or you want to run away or you want to blame or 185 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:11,080 you want to play the victim or you want to take all the 186 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,760 responsibility. The things that you were 187 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,480 triggered about, that's like, Oh my God, I just have this like 188 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:20,120 disproportionate response or reaction to what's happening in 189 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,320 front of me. These are the spaces where you 190 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,080 still abandon yourself, where you. 191 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,880 And what I mean by abandon yourself is there's something 192 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,880 within you that has not been healed. 193 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,000 And rather than looking at it and taking a really honest 194 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:35,880 reflection, which can be difficult, it's projecting onto 195 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,600 the other person. You made me mad, you made me 196 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:39,960 upset. You need to change your 197 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,400 behavior. And we've all been guilty of 198 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,400 this, but it's like we need to actually take self 199 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,160 responsibility for our triggers. And when we stop abandoning 200 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,840 ourselves, we can then it's not that we don't ever get 201 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:54,000 triggered, but we can actually maintain that connection with 202 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:57,720 another person so that we're not overriding ourselves or 203 00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:02,840 completely dismissing the other person #7 your patterns are not 204 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,000 character flaws. They actually make perfect 205 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,800 sense. Here's the thing, since we were 206 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:12,760 little children, all we are looking for besides like 207 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:18,760 shelter, food, water, you know, being fed, all the things, all 208 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,840 we're looking for is love, safety and belonging. 209 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:25,360 OK, So at some point you decided the things that would get you 210 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,520 acceptance and the things that took acceptance away and you 211 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,560 decided to create personas around that. 212 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,480 And this is something I go very deep into, into the in the 213 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,040 connected woman. So I'm not going to go into it 214 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,480 here. But through that you develop 215 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,040 patterns, right? So if you have a pattern of 216 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:45,600 going for avoidant partners over and over and over, there is a 217 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:50,040 reason for that because you are recreating that same dynamic 218 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,800 that you had as a child. And there's some reason that you 219 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,640 benefit from that pattern. There is no pattern in your 220 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:03,160 entire life, not one that you don't benefit from in some way, 221 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:07,080 shape or form. OK, you are not a passive victim 222 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,960 in this life. You are directly benefiting. 223 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:13,840 It's just about excavating. How do I benefit from this 224 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,840 pattern? So your patterns make sense, 225 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:19,560 whether it's protecting you from a nervous system since you 226 00:12:19,560 --> 00:12:22,600 believe it's going to create safety or it brings you comfort 227 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:26,640 or it brings you, you don't have to be responsible or you know, 228 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,320 like if you know whatever it is, there's all of these reasons. 229 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,800 So your patterns make complete sense. 230 00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,720 I remember when I was doing my coaching certification back in 231 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:39,440 2019 for sex 11 relationships, we had to do these self pleasure 232 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,800 practices five days a week for nearly a year. 233 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,000 And I was still stripping at the time. 234 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,520 And so I would have these massive openings during these 235 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,560 self pleasure practices and then I would go strip. 236 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,480 And obviously I wasn't in like a very safe environment or at 237 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,800 least my body felt like I wasn't in a safe environment. 238 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,560 So my nervous is more like collapse and I would fully 239 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,840 close. And I was this like open, close, 240 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,720 open, close, open, close dynamic. 241 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,960 And my teacher at the time was like, I actually want you to 242 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,920 stop doing the practices. And like it was a year long 243 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,640 program, but we had two years to finish. 244 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,600 And I'm so glad that she said that because she was like, I 245 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,920 want you to stop doing the practices because it's actually 246 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:15,760 doing more harm than good. And I was like, I'm just so 247 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,280 frustrated with the fact that my nervous system keeps like 248 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,040 shutting down on me and I keep closing when I'm doing all this 249 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,000 work to open. And she was like, your nervous 250 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,200 system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. 251 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,640 You're in an unsafe environment. You're going to literally 252 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,320 campsites in the middle of nowhere with like 30 dudes and 253 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,600 you have no reception. And there's, you're the only 254 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:35,640 woman there, of course you're going to be closed. 255 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,720 It would be silly if your nervous system would be like La 256 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,040 La la, open, open, open. So your patterns make complete 257 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,640 sense. They're not character flaws #8 258 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,480 avoidance is. Information avoidance can be the 259 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,360 things that we're like, I'm actually not a full yes to this. 260 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,280 And so I'm procrastinating. I'm avoiding, I'm whatever 261 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:56,880 because it's actually not in alignment. 262 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:01,160 But more often than not it is in alignment and we're actually 263 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,520 just scared to take action because we don't know what's on 264 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,320 the other side of that. So that could be starting a 265 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,440 business where you're like, I don't know who I'm going to have 266 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,400 to become, how responsible I'm going to have to become to be 267 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,040 responsible for an entire business. 268 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:18,240 That could be I am avoiding doing the work in the connected 269 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:22,360 or in the experience, or I'm avoiding even joining because 270 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:27,240 I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my relationship right now. 271 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,200 Just a little side note, if that's you, don't let that get 272 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:35,520 in the way because either yes, your relationship does end, but 273 00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,680 you find something so much more impactful, which is a connection 274 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:42,160 to yourself or your relationship does a complete 180. 275 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,400 So either way, it's a win win. The amount of women that I have 276 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,080 had come through my world over the years and we've had over 277 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:52,680 1000 women in the program of like, I was so scared and I sat 278 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,600 on this decision to join for years because I was so scared 279 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,080 that my relationship was going to end. 280 00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:02,480 And now it's done a 180 or I was scared that it would end and it 281 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:06,600 did. And I'm so much happier and I 282 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,880 didn't know that I could do that. 283 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,880 So avoidance is information. What is your avoidance actually 284 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,520 telling you? Is your avoidance? 285 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,480 Like there's actually a deeper, more vulnerable part that you're 286 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,320 not looking at. So let your avoidance be data 287 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,480 rather than judging yourself for being avoidant, actually look at 288 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:28,120 it from an objective sense. 9 Your nervous system needs 289 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:32,360 safety, not pressure. Yes, we can be disciplined. 290 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,040 Yes we can stick to things. Yes we can give tough love. 291 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,800 You guys know that I am all about tough love here. 292 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,640 I'm not about coddling people and being like Oh my God I know 293 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,160 it's so hard and blah blah blah blah. 294 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,680 But you do need to be gentle with your nervous system. 295 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,360 You being a fucking drill Sergeant and berating yourself 296 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,080 through shame into change is never going to work. 297 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,560 I asked this question the other day in one of my containers 298 00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:59,440 where I was like, if shame worked, I was like, OK, who 299 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,200 shames themselves here? Every single person puts their 300 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,200 hand up. Great. 301 00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:06,720 Has that ever worked for you in terms of getting you to change 302 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:10,160 your behavior or a pattern? No. 303 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:15,520 If shame worked to make you change, it would have worked by 304 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,760 now. So berating yourself and calling 305 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:24,120 yourself unlovable, unworthy, undeserving, you're not good 306 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,280 enough, you're too much, all of these things. 307 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,320 If those shame based narratives would have worked, it would have 308 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,600 worked by now. And it doesn't. 309 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:37,480 So can you actually actually give yourself grace to just be a 310 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,320 little bit more gentle with yourself and trust that you will 311 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:42,160 still follow through with the things that you say you were 312 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:46,800 going to do #10 Healing doesn't mean you never get triggered. 313 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,040 It means you respond differently to your triggers. 314 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:54,320 It's such a misconception where people are like, but I'm still 315 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,000 getting triggered. I'm not healed. 316 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,840 I'm like 1. Why don't we ever fucking like 317 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,400 fully healed, but also like we're not broken? 318 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,760 So that's a different conversation. 319 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,280 But it's not when you do shadow work, it's not the sense that 320 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,359 you're never going to to get triggered. 321 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,760 The way I see shadow work, it's like kind of like whack A mole 322 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,240 where you might heal something in your relationships and then 323 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,319 it comes up in your relationship with money or it comes up in 324 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:19,839 your relationship with your body or it comes up in friendships 325 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:21,920 or, you know, career or whatever it is. 326 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,760 And it's like boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. 327 00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:27,920 So it's going to keep coming up until it is fully looked at and 328 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,640 fully resolved, right. So your triggers might become 329 00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,760 more infrequent where you're not having them as often. 330 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,320 But you, you respond differently. 331 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,120 You don't continue to respond in the way it's like getting 332 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,520 defensive, shutting down, running away, blaming, 333 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:46,440 deflecting, you know, using humor as a defense mechanism. 334 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,600 Whatever it is, you respond differently and you're able to 335 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,160 build your capacity to be in the moment and stay in connection 336 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,280 with someone and you can be with yourself throughout a trigger 337 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,760 versus like, Oh my God, I need to go have a glass of wine or I 338 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,440 need to go do this or I need to go do that. 339 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:03,760 You can actually, you actually have the ability to stay with 340 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,600 yourself. So it's not about never being 341 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,040 triggered. It's about responding 342 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:12,720 differently #11 I don't listen to words, I watch behavior. 343 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,480 So if I'm starting a new relationship in a romantic 344 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,200 relationship or I'm starting a friendship with someone or 345 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,480 whatever, I don't listen to what they're saying. 346 00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:29,000 I watch what they're doing, OK? Because people will reveal 347 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:33,640 themselves over time. No one can stay in this facade 348 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,400 forever, which is why you know when people have been through 349 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:40,160 narcissistic relationships or abusive relationships. 350 00:18:41,280 --> 00:18:43,280 I was having this conversation with my partner the other day. 351 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,880 I'm like, no one, No one gets into an abusive relationship and 352 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,840 that their partner's abusive right off the bat. 353 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,680 Like they fall in love with this person because this person is 354 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:58,920 probably charming and fun and loving and charismatic or, you 355 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,000 know, whatever characteristics that you find attractive. 356 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,600 And then over time it starts to to shift behind closed doors 357 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,920 because they can't keep up the charade forever. 358 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:14,040 So when you're dating, don't listen to people's words or even 359 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,160 if you're in a relationship and they just say, I'm sorry, I'm 360 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,720 sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. 361 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:18,880 I'm gonna change, I'm gonna change. 362 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,360 Are they changing? Are they doing things 363 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,600 differently? Are they showing up differently? 364 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,840 Are they taking accountability? Are they taking responsibility? 365 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:30,880 Because if not, it's just a bunch of fucking yap. 366 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,560 They're just yapping. Their mouth is moving but 367 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,040 nothing's actually fucking changing. 368 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,400 So don't listen to people's words. 369 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:43,280 Watch people's behaviours that will reveal who they actually 370 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:47,960 are #12 over explaining is self abandonment. 371 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,680 OK when you feel the need to like justify and over explain 372 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,960 it. Oh but here's what I meant And 373 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,000 and this and that. It's an inability to actually 374 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,760 back yourself and stay with yourself. 375 00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,560 So. Of course, in a relationship, 376 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,400 you can give context, you can, you can, you can let people into 377 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,640 your internal world and share. This is where I was coming from 378 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:11,920 and this is my intention and this is what I meant. 379 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,920 But when you're like justifying and going overboard and Oh my 380 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,240 God and no, please don't be mad at me. 381 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,360 And here's what I that's just abandoning yourself rather than 382 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,960 standing in your truth because like I've said a million times 383 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960 before, you can communicate in the best way possible. 384 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,040 I could literally give you a fucking word for word script of 385 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,520 what to say to someone and they would still potentially receive 386 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,080 it the the wrong way. They could still receive it as a 387 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:39,080 personal attack on them. So that has nothing to do with 388 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,920 you. You don't need to over explain. 389 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,440 You need to stay with yourself and stay with the discomfort of 390 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:53,600 someone being upset with you or angry or hurt or jealous or 391 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,560 whatever it is, and not from a place of arrogance, but from a 392 00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:04,040 place of not abandoning yourself. 13 And this is for me. 393 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:06,440 This is from a human design perspective. 394 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,880 If anyone's into human design and you're curious about my 395 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:13,600 design, I am a 63 sacral authority generator. 396 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:18,040 So there you go. So this is kind of for me, but 397 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,240 if you're a generator or a many Gen. you will resonate with 398 00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,000 this. If you're a projector, a 399 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,480 reflector or a manifester, you will have a different authority 400 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:30,680 or you will have a different not authority strategy. 401 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,600 Sorry. Oh my God, I can't think of what 402 00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,840 not self theme is what it's called a not self theme. 403 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:40,040 Anyways, if I feel constantly frustrated, something is out of 404 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,560 alignment. OK. 405 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:47,040 Because in my human design, my self theme, I think this is what 406 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:48,800 it's called, right? Like when, when I'm in 407 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,680 alignment, when everything is like, Oh my God, yes, I feel 408 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,000 satisfaction. I feel like yes, I feel 409 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,480 satisfied. I feel good when I'm feeling 410 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,520 frustrated. That is my sign something is out 411 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,080 of alignment. So in 2026, I'm really looking 412 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,560 at what are the things that frustrate me consistently. 413 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,440 Of course, we're human. We get frustrated, right? 414 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,440 But I'm talking about this one thing is consistently 415 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:14,280 frustrating, or this one friendship is consistently 416 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:18,160 frustrating, or my relationship is consistently frustrating me. 417 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,760 Or, you know, whatever it is for you. 418 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,400 Looking at those things, whether it's a relationship, a 419 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:29,280 friendship, could even be a fucking client, could be 420 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,920 whatever. If that thing is frustrating you 421 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:37,000 over and over and over again, it might be time to walk away from 422 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:43,560 said thing. 14 secure love feels calm, not intoxicating. 423 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,800 Don't get me wrong, it's exciting. 424 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:50,080 It feels good. You're excited to see this 425 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,080 person. You miss them when they're not 426 00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:56,320 around like but it's not this like Oh my God, I can't be 427 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,840 without you like it's been 24 hours. 428 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:02,880 I'm going to die if I don't see you like I'm living my life. 429 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:07,240 I'm happy, you know, like yes, I miss you and and also I've 430 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:10,440 really enjoyed my time by myself or catching up with friends or 431 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,760 whatever it is. So it's not this all consuming 432 00:23:14,160 --> 00:23:17,560 love, secure love feels calm. It feels grounded, like I'm not 433 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,840 questioning whether my partner it wants to leave me or not. 434 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:25,600 So that is the sign of security. If you are having to put into 435 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:33,080 ChatGPT, what does this mean that he said what are we doing? 436 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,720 I love you with all due respect, what are we doing? 437 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,280 OK, secure love is like grounded. 438 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,920 You're not playing guessing games. 439 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:49,280 You know where you stand and you're not consumed by the love, 440 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:54,440 you're just excited about it. 15 I would rather be alone than 441 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:58,560 betray myself. That was a 2024 lesson for me, 442 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,280 not so much 2025 because I did spend quite a bit of time by 443 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:05,680 myself. It was like what, 8 months? 444 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,600 Eight, yeah, 8-9 months that I spent on my own. 445 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:16,640 And honestly, if it came to it, you know, my relationship is 446 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,880 wonderful. But if it came to it of like if 447 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,720 I have to consistently betray myself, would I rather stay just 448 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:25,360 to be in a relationship or would I rather be alone? 449 00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,040 I will choose being alone every single time. 450 00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:30,280 Every single time. I fucking love my own company. 451 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,600 I could spend endless amounts of time by myself. 452 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,720 I really could. So that's the thing, people are 453 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,360 so afraid of being alone that they're like, I will rather 454 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:43,920 betray myself, abandoned myself, go against what I know to be 455 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,360 true, just to stay in a relationship so that I don't 456 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,960 have to be alone with my feelings. 457 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:54,040 That is no way to live, my girl. That really is no way to live. 458 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:58,360 We need to build the capacity to be with ourselves and fall in 459 00:24:58,360 --> 00:25:00,520 love with our lives. Like fucking romanticize your 460 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:02,640 life. Like if you, if you don't want 461 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,840 to spend time with you, why the fuck would anyone else want to 462 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:08,360 spend time with you? Create a life that you love so 463 00:25:08,360 --> 00:25:10,160 that you want to spend time with you. 464 00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:15,080 OK #16 Your body knows before your mind does. 465 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:21,200 So when we are triggered, our body has a response milliseconds 466 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,040 before our brain does. So we think that someone says 467 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,000 something and we are triggered. Oh my God, I can't believe they 468 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,280 said that. That's so rude. 469 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:32,240 Why would they say that? They they think that I'm lazy. 470 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,680 They think that I'm this and that. 471 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,640 But before that story happens, the body happens. 472 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:43,520 So you'll recognize you get triggered and you're like body 473 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,280 tenses, or you feel heat, or you feel like a lump in your throat, 474 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,280 or you feel like you want to cry or whatever. 475 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:52,560 That actually happens milliseconds before the thoughts 476 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,400 ring in. OK, now the same as the 477 00:25:55,480 --> 00:26:00,200 opposite, when someone when like an opportunity is presented to 478 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,880 you or there's some something, it could be a relationship, 479 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:05,960 you're on a date, who cares, whatever it is. 480 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:09,680 And you feel a yes, you'll feel that in your body. 481 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,400 So it's about building the skill of recognizing the language of 482 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:15,600 the body. And people struggle with this in 483 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,720 the beginning when I'm talking about embodiment because like, I 484 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:21,880 feel nothing, I feel nothing. I'm like, OK, but that's like if 485 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:26,440 you were, you know, born in whatever in Canada and you've 486 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:32,200 only ever spoken English and I'm like, OK, great, I want you to 487 00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,480 be fluent in Japanese. Now go. 488 00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:37,040 You'd be like, I don't know how to speak Japanese. 489 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,840 I don't know, right. So it's the same thing. 490 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:42,720 You're learning the language of the body. 491 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:45,720 And that takes time to understand what sensations are, 492 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,280 where you feel them, what sensations you feel when, what a 493 00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,880 yes feels like, what a no feels like, what, what anger feels 494 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,360 like, what sadness feels like, what anxiety feels like. 495 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,080 Not just like, Oh my God, I feel anxious, but like actually in 496 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,400 the body. What does that feel like? 497 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,720 So your body knows before your mind does. 498 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,080 And what we want to do is build that relationship so that you 499 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:09,080 can actually start to trust your body, so you're not just coming 500 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:13,560 from your logical mind all of the time. 17 Rest is productive 501 00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:17,320 when it is intentional. So you know, we talk about the 502 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,120 soft girl life and I love a soft girl life, right? 503 00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,800 I really do. I am meant to be on a pool 504 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,880 floaty sip in a cocktail. That is the life that has been 505 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:29,280 made for me. But we can take the rest thing 506 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:31,560 too far when we're like, oh, I'm just tired. 507 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,680 I need to rest. I don't feel like doing that. 508 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,240 I need to rest. Oh, I need to rest. 509 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:36,440 I need to rest. I need to rest. 510 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:41,320 When it's like actually, if you are intentional about your rest, 511 00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:43,800 then you can be intentional about the times where you're on 512 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,000 and you can be intentional about the times that you're focused. 513 00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:51,080 So look at when you are resting, what are you actually doing? 514 00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,920 Are you reading a book? Are you in a hammock? 515 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:55,080 Are you just zoning out and watching Netflix? 516 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,640 Sometimes that is restful and sometimes it's actually just you 517 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,560 numbing out and checking out of your life. 518 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,840 So. Make your rest intentional. 519 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:08,360 If you're the woman who has consumed all of my podcast 520 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:11,880 episodes and other podcasts, and you've read the self help books 521 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:16,160 and you have done little master classes and you've dabbled here 522 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,280 and there. But you still keep repeating the 523 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:22,480 same patterns in your love life and in friendships and in money 524 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,960 and all of the things. And you're like, fuck, why do I 525 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,960 keep doing this? I need to put you on to 526 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,920 something that is the awakening retreats. 527 00:28:32,120 --> 00:28:36,720 They're happening in January 2026, and they are the place 528 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,960 where you get to actually transcend this behavior and 529 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,200 finally get to do something different. 530 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,840 So your first retreat is going to be awakening her. 531 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,560 And this is where you are connecting to your feminine 532 00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,800 energy, your pleasure, your devotion, your joy, your 533 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:57,000 ecstasy, your rage, your grief. All of these pieces so you get 534 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,360 to live. In totality of the woman that 535 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,520 you are. And also we're going to have an 536 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,720 opportunity to heal your relationship with women. 537 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:07,400 Because the more I work with women, the more I realize how 538 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:11,400 many women have felt betrayed by other women almost more than 539 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:15,200 they have felt betrayed by men. And you're really focusing on 540 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,600 healing your relationship to yourself, to your body, to your 541 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,480 sexuality, to your joy, to your confidence, to your 542 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,080 insecurities, all of the things. And then your second retreat is 543 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,960 awakening him. And this is where we're 544 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,480 anchoring into your masculine energy. 545 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:33,760 So your relationship to responsibility and integrity, 546 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:35,920 following through on the things that you say that you're going 547 00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:40,600 to do, discipline, discernment, direction, all of these things, 548 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:45,000 and healing your relationship with men, as well as then 549 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,840 bringing this into a focus of how do you then bring this into 550 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,840 relationships? So everything that you learned 551 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:53,960 at awakening her and about expansion and emotional 552 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,120 expression and all of these things, how do you then hold 553 00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,960 that containment and bring that into your romantic relationships 554 00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,360 and your friendships? And that is really the focus of 555 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,600 awakening him. You can choose to do either or, 556 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:09,040 but I've designed them to go together as a pair and that is 557 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,560 what most women who have decided to do the retreats are have 558 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,760 chosen to do. I do want to say these are the 559 00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,760 last retreats that I'm going to be running. 560 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,880 If you've been saying I'll go to the next one or when you come to 561 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160 the States, I'll do it. I'm never running one of the 562 00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,640 states. I can tell you that right now 563 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,680 and I'm not running more retreats in the future. 564 00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,120 This is your time. Make a fucking holiday out of 565 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,680 it, come to Australia. Most of the women who have 566 00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,240 signed up are coming from the US, which is very cool. 567 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,880 DM me on Instagram if you have any questions, otherwise the 568 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:40,760 link will be at the description. I cannot wait to see you there. 569 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,320 Let's get back to the episode #18 your environment affects 570 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,320 your mood. If you are anything like me, I'm 571 00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:52,760 a Virgo, my environment really effects my mood. 572 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:56,840 So if there is shit everywhere and it's cluttered and there's 573 00:30:56,840 --> 00:31:01,880 like mess and all the things, my internal mind, I'm like, Oh my 574 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,280 God, Oh my God, Oh my God, I can't focus. 575 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:05,320 I can't focus. So something that has been a 576 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,240 priority for me for years was to hire a cleaner. 577 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,040 So she used to come fortnightly, Now she comes weekly. 578 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:16,520 And it's like that to me is such a good investment for my for my 579 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:18,520 money. Like if you have the funds to be 580 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,840 able to do that, I understand that I'm coming from a place of 581 00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,080 privilege, but like if you have the funds to be able to do that, 582 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:25,960 I fucking highly recommend that you do because it just takes 583 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:29,120 such a weight off. And I know like Tuesdays are my 584 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,400 favorite day because I'm like, it's so clean. 585 00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:35,240 Everything is so sparkling. It just feels so fucking good. 586 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:40,880 So that you know, and me making sure that I'm doing a tidy every 587 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,000 day or whatever. And on the days that I miss it, 588 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,320 I feel it. I'm like, Oh my God, I don't 589 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,960 like, I don't feel good. You know, I need to keep my 590 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,440 environment clean. And my environment also means my 591 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,600 car, keeping my car clean. My environment also means my 592 00:31:56,600 --> 00:32:00,080 friendship circle. It means the places that I am 593 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:03,560 visiting, right? So like I love the gym that I go 594 00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,000 to. It has a recovery center. 595 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:09,760 So it has like a sauna steam room, like spa pools and and 596 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,240 cold plunge pools. And like I love that because 597 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,760 that is so viby to me. That's like, I love that 598 00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,720 environment. I make sure that I take myself 599 00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:19,560 to even though I have that I take myself to like this really 600 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:23,240 nice bath house and I go and I go by myself and then I have 601 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,280 lunch and a cocktail and like all the things and I do that 602 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,720 regularly. So my environment effects my 603 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,400 mood so much. So put yourself in environments 604 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:36,040 or take care of your environment so that you can stay in a high 605 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:40,840 vibration in a high frequency. Number 19, pleasure is medicine. 606 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,840 OK. So pleasure is a regulation 607 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,360 tool. And now when people hear the 608 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,320 word pleasure, they think masturbating. 609 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,800 And I'm like, yeah, cool. That is, you know, that is 610 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:56,960 helpful like absolutely. But pleasure is that warm cup of 611 00:32:56,960 --> 00:33:01,880 coffee in the morning or feeling the sun on your skin or getting 612 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:05,400 out and seeing, you know, the beautiful trees or hearing the 613 00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:08,440 birds chirping or listening to your favorite song or cuddling 614 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:11,680 up with your cat or your dog. Like that is pleasure as well. 615 00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:16,360 Or even just, you know, stroking your your legs or just like 616 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,520 stroking your arms or whatever, giving yourself a hug, like just 617 00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,400 doing something to give yourself pleasure. 618 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:24,320 That is a regulation tool in and of itself. 619 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:25,800 We're like, Oh my God, I don't want to do that. 620 00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:27,440 That's weird. That takes too much effort. 621 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,320 If it's too much fucking effort for you to put your hands on 622 00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,120 your body and like literally squeeze your arms or for you to 623 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:35,280 like run your fingers over your legs, like I don't know what to 624 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,040 fucking tell you. You do not care about your 625 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,800 healing if you cannot even be fucked to do that. 626 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,400 And I'd say that with so much love, because it's like, are we 627 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,400 actually doing the bare minimum, right? 628 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:51,320 So pleasure is medicine and pleasure can be the greatest 629 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,680 regulation tool of all time to build your nervous system 630 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,280 capacity #20 if you are disconnected from your body, 631 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,120 you're disconnected from your truth. 632 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,520 Your truth lies inside of your body. 633 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,520 And I don't just mean the impulses of like, I feel angry, 634 00:34:06,800 --> 00:34:08,679 I feel shame. Oh my God, this, this must mean 635 00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:10,639 I shouldn't do this. I shouldn't be with this person. 636 00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,000 You know, like I said, I was getting like regular panic 637 00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:15,760 attacks when I first started dating, dating my partner, 638 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,199 right? Because it was like, Oh my God, 639 00:34:19,199 --> 00:34:23,360 this is so overwhelming. Like overwhelming in the sense 640 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,920 of like, I don't have to caretake you. 641 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,880 I don't have to look after you. I don't, you're not making me 642 00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,239 responsible for your emotions. I don't have to do all these 643 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,360 things. What do I do? 644 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,440 And I had to really regulate through that, you know, through 645 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:42,000 safety with her, through, you know, like just being with her 646 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,760 and being open and being vulnerable. 647 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,440 But your body knows the truth. My body knew this like, oh, this 648 00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,920 is new. It's actually funny because it's 649 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,280 like if I had no response to being with her. 650 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,440 It's almost a sense of like I'm in a pattern again, because this 651 00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:01,000 feels so familiar. So your body knows the answer. 652 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,640 You can and, and again, if you're a sacral authority for 653 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:09,960 human design, you're going to listen to your and those like 654 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:15,200 initial yes or initial no. You can trust that, right? 655 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:16,920 If you're an emotional authority, you're going to ride 656 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,440 your wave, you're going to give yourself 24 hours, you're going 657 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,600 to sleep on it, right? Splenic authority, something 658 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,760 different since like there's a whole thing. 659 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:27,320 I'm not a human design expert, so you can go do that for 660 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,400 yourself. But yeah, it's like your body 661 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:36,240 knows best. Number 21, doing less but doing 662 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:41,160 it better creates more momentum. So we have this epidemic and I 663 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,760 so have been guilty of this. We have this epidemic of people 664 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,880 being super busy, right? Where it's like, Oh my God, I'm 665 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:48,480 so busy. I'm so busy, I'm so busy. 666 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:49,840 OK, but what have you actually achieved? 667 00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:56,760 I'll wait. Like what have you actually 668 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,440 achieved? Because we just stay stuck in 669 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,600 shit that doesn't actually move the needle. 670 00:36:02,920 --> 00:36:05,560 OK, great, you're watching the course modules, but have you 671 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,440 implemented them? Have you done the embodiment 672 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:12,800 practices? You've listened to what, 232 673 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,720 episodes of this podcast? Are you still repeating the same 674 00:36:15,720 --> 00:36:19,720 patterns? It's about implementation, so 675 00:36:19,720 --> 00:36:27,240 it's not about having 1,000,001 courses or having 17 different 676 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:30,880 tasks on your plate. It's like take your three top 677 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,000 things for the day and get them done. 678 00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:37,800 Like honestly, when I take myself to the Cafe and I just 679 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,000 work for two hours straight because people talk about like, 680 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:43,040 I think it's the Pomodoro method where it's like you work for 25 681 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,560 minutes and then you take a 5 minute break. 682 00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,800 I cannot do that because I'm like at 25 minutes. 683 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:51,120 I'm just getting into it. So I would prefer to work for 684 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:55,000 like 2 to 3 that were straight and then I'm done. 685 00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:57,560 I'm like, OK, cool, I'm I'm good. 686 00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,320 I'm tapped out because I'm focused. 687 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,640 So this is the thing. It's like, rather than having 688 00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:06,760 your energy scattered amongst a bunch of different things, it's 689 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,000 can you dial in and be laser focused on the things that are 690 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:11,880 actually going to move the needle. 691 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,480 So that might be an embodiment practice every single day. 692 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:18,440 And that could be literally one song of central movement. 693 00:37:19,240 --> 00:37:22,160 It could be you having a difficult conversation. 694 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,520 It could be you setting a boundary. 695 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:26,120 It could be you posting a piece of content. 696 00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:29,400 It could be you recording an episode of a podcast, whatever 697 00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:30,920 it is. But it's like, do the thing 698 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,520 that's going to actually move the needle versus and I'm just 699 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:36,200 going to take business as an example where people are like, 700 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,080 I'm starting a business. So I'm like picking my brand 701 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:40,960 colors and I'm doing my logo. Nobody gives a fuck about your 702 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,480 logo. No one cares about your fucking 703 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,720 brand colors. No one cares about your website. 704 00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,560 I didn't have a website for years. 705 00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:50,160 Like nobody cares. Nobody cares. 706 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:51,640 Do something that's gonna move the needle. 707 00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:53,800 Get a fucking client. That's what you need to be 708 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:58,120 doing. I love you, 22. 709 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,600 Clarity comes after action, not before. 710 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:03,680 And this is something I've really learned from my partner 711 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,240 because like I've said, she's in Aries. 712 00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:07,560 She just moves, moves, moves, moves. 713 00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:10,960 And I'm like, wow, versus for me, I'm like, I got a case of 714 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,000 like, I need to know the whole game plan before I get started. 715 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:15,280 That's how I've like traditionally been. 716 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,000 And she's like, no, just start, just start, just do it. 717 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,360 And I'm like, OK. And then as I get going, I'm 718 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:25,040 like, oh, I have more clarity. So even, you know, even when 719 00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,160 women come into the connected woman and they're doing the 720 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,720 modules, it'll be like module one or module 2 and they're 721 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,040 like, OK, but how do I change the pattern? 722 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:34,480 And I'm like, just witness yourself in the pattern. 723 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:38,240 Trust that you've got 13 more modules that are going to give 724 00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:44,080 you the answers, but just trust that it's like right now I'm 725 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,360 just going to stay in taking action and I'm going to trust 726 00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:50,720 that clarity is going to come. I remember this from The Secret. 727 00:38:50,720 --> 00:38:54,160 When you guys remember that that book in that movie came out with 728 00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:57,120 it when I was in high school. So it must been like maybe 2006 729 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:03,880 ish and I remember this guy talking about how imagine 730 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:07,320 yourself on the freeway and there's no lights at all but 731 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,040 you've got your your headlights on right? 732 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:12,640 So you can only see 200 meters in front of you. 733 00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:16,000 You don't stop driving because you're like, Oh my God, I can 734 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,400 only see 200 meters in front of me. 735 00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:20,920 Like what if there's no Rd. You keep driving and you trust 736 00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:24,280 that as you travel further, the next 200 meters will be shown 737 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:26,800 and then the next 200 meters, and then the next 200 meters and 738 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,400 then the next 200 meters. And you could go all the way 739 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:33,200 from New York to California doing that, right? 740 00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:38,480 So that's what I mean by clarity comes through taking action, not 741 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:43,400 waiting for clarity to come first 23, you don't need to be 742 00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,440 ready. You need to be honest. 743 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:49,320 And again, I know I'm talking about the connected woman a lot, 744 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,360 but this is just like, it just like relates to so many patterns 745 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:55,440 that I see in there, which is again, like I like I've shared, 746 00:39:55,600 --> 00:40:01,600 you know, a few times that people wait 2-3 years to to join 747 00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:05,840 because they're like, Oh my God, what is how am I going to 748 00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,240 change? How am I going to need to show 749 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,200 up differently to get the thing that I say that I want? 750 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:15,160 And here's the thing. If you really, really, really 751 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:19,000 want something, truly, almost nothing will stop you. 752 00:40:20,400 --> 00:40:25,600 If you actually don't really want that thing, almost 753 00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:30,080 everything will stop you. Money, time, the time zone. 754 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:34,000 I need it to be live. I need it to be self-paced. 755 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:37,840 I I've got kids, now's not a good time. 756 00:40:38,240 --> 00:40:42,640 I'm I'm busy, I am going to wait for the next round. 757 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:47,240 Almost anything will stop you. Whereas if you really want to 758 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:50,640 change your patterns, almost nothing will fucking get in your 759 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:53,600 way. And that is really the 760 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:57,000 difference, that it's where it's not about being ready, it's 761 00:40:57,000 --> 00:41:00,120 about being fucking honest. Do you want it or not? 762 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:05,880 If the answer is no, that's OK, but be honest with yourself. 763 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,520 Stop waiting for the perfect time on whatever that is. 764 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,800 Getting back into the dating scene, having a baby, you know, 765 00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:19,680 quitting your job, starting a business, starting a podcast, 766 00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:24,280 breaking up it you're, you know, getting a divorce, breaking up 767 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:28,360 in your relationship, moving to another country, whatever your 768 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,600 thing is, it's not about being ready. 769 00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:36,440 It's about being honest. 24 structure actually gives your 770 00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,520 feminine room to breathe. This is something people 771 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,000 overlook all the time when they come into feminine embodiment 772 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:48,240 and they're like, I'm just in my feelings and I just, I want to 773 00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:54,120 feel and I just want to all I can know I need to rest and I'm 774 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,520 just going to go with the float. Do you know how much fucking 775 00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,160 chaos that creates if you don't have a healthy masculine? 776 00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:03,480 This is why I decided to do 2 retreats by the way, because I 777 00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,600 saw I was like OK cool, I'm connecting women to their 778 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:06,640 feminine. But like what about the 779 00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,280 masculine? You need structure, you need 780 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:13,720 containment, you need direction. That is what helps the feminine 781 00:42:13,720 --> 00:42:17,600 to feel safe, to flow, right? If we're with a man who has no 782 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:22,080 fucking direction and it's just like La La la, I'll go with the 783 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:23,440 flow. What do we usually do? 784 00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:26,160 Great, I'll be the one to fucking plan everything. 785 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:27,480 I'll be the one to figure things out. 786 00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:31,120 Versus we're with a man who or a partner who has masculine energy 787 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:35,200 who leads and takes takes the lead is like driving the ship. 788 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,320 We're like, oh, I feel like I can fully relax now. 789 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:44,080 And so that's the same thing with ourselves where when we 790 00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,720 have direction and we have structure, that helps us to 791 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,000 relax. Like I'm being so much more 792 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:54,680 intentional and organized in my business in 2026 because that 793 00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:57,400 allows me to then be in my creativity, allows me to be more 794 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,480 present with my partner. It allows me to like be present 795 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,520 with my friends because I'm not worried about like a fuck, Like 796 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,000 I've got to get this e-mail out. I've got to do this thing like, 797 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,120 no, I am. I'm going to be laser focused on 798 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:11,920 getting things done that are required and then I can fully 799 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,800 relax and be in my flow. So the structure actually allows 800 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,360 your feminine to flow more more easy. 801 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,320 That's not the right word. It allows your feminine to flow 802 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:27,800 easier. 25 The life you desire requires a different version of 803 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,640 you. The version you currently are 804 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:34,160 has given you the life you currently have, the 805 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,160 relationships you have, what's in your bank account, the 806 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:40,040 business or the career that you have, the friendships that you 807 00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:43,160 have, the relationship to your body that you currently have, 808 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,400 your home, your environment. Everything has been because of 809 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,080 the version that you currently are and the versions of you that 810 00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:52,640 you have been. If you want something else, you 811 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:56,200 have to evolve your identity and yourself concept. 812 00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,160 You have to evolve how you show up in the world. 813 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:03,440 You have to evolve who you are. You have to evolve your 814 00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,360 behaviors, your thoughts, your mindset, your connection to your 815 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:08,720 body, your connection to yourself. 816 00:44:08,720 --> 00:44:10,960 It's going to require a different version of you. 817 00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,720 And that's not to scare you, that's to excite you. 818 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,440 And this is the thing, this is the difference. 819 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,920 I'm going to be so honest and you can, if you feel triggered 820 00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:26,200 by this, well, I love you. The people who succeed in life, 821 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:29,120 whatever, however you want to take that. 822 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:33,280 They are the people who are not scared of stepping into a 823 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,600 different version of themselves. They are the people who are 824 00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:40,160 willing to evolve. The people who stay stuck and 825 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,880 stay in victim mode are the people who become intimidated by 826 00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,400 the next version of themselves and they back away and they're 827 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,920 like, Nope, I'm not willing to do what's required. 828 00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:54,080 And if that's you, cool, but get comfy where you are. 829 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,560 If you want something different, you have to evolve your 830 00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:01,920 identity. And finally, lesson 26 and this 831 00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:05,760 is something for me and hopefully for you. 832 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:13,320 I am no longer available for a life that looks good but feels 833 00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:17,080 wrong. Let that land. 834 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:22,320 I'm not available for a life that looks good but feels wrong. 835 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:26,800 I want to live my life in alignment and if that means I am 836 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:31,520 fucking ruthless with what needs to go and ruthless in the 837 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,320 pursuit of my desires and my goals, then so fucking be it. 838 00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:41,760 Because I am no longer willing to stay in relationships or 839 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:48,400 business ideas or containers or something out of obligation or 840 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:52,840 out of feeling guilty or out of shame or feeling some sort of 841 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:56,400 loyalty. I'm like, cool. 842 00:45:56,400 --> 00:45:58,720 When I feel complete, I'm complete. 843 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,000 And that doesn't mean that I'm like, I don't love you. 844 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:06,160 We can love someone and still know this isn't right for me. 845 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:13,320 So welcome to 2026. I'm so excited to spend another 846 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:17,640 year with you guys. If you are ready to take that 847 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,160 next step. If you're like I fucking hear 848 00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:24,520 you and this whole episode landed for me, it's time to join 849 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,760 the connected woman. It's time to get your ass in the 850 00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:31,160 room. Enough talking, enough yapping, 851 00:46:31,400 --> 00:46:35,240 enough listening to the podcast or reading books or whatever it 852 00:46:35,240 --> 00:46:38,680 is. It's time to actually step into 853 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,240 the identity of a woman who is secure within herself in her 854 00:46:42,240 --> 00:46:43,960 relationships. Whether you're single or you're 855 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,960 in a relationship or you're married or you're going through 856 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:48,960 a divorce, it is irrelevant because it's about your 857 00:46:48,960 --> 00:46:52,320 connection to yourself. So if you know that I'm speaking 858 00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,400 to you and all your fucking excuses are coming up right now 859 00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:59,200 and your ego is like but, but, but, but, but who are you going 860 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:03,200 to decide to be in this moment? I cannot wait for this next 861 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:05,760 round of the Connected Woman. I'm so excited to get into it. 862 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,400 I love you guys so much. Thank you for listening to this 863 00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,400 and I will see you guys next week. 864 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:12,960 Happy 2026. Happy new year, my love. 865 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,200 Bye. All right, my love, thank you so 866 00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,280 much for listening today's podcast episode. 867 00:47:17,720 --> 00:47:19,760 Take what resonates and leave the rest. 868 00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,720 There is no obligation, but you do have a responsibility to 869 00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:25,760 yourself to actually do the work. 870 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:28,640 So implement what you have learned here. 871 00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:32,400 Let this episode be a reminder that you are built for more. 872 00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,080 You are not built for the bare minimum. 873 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,320 You are not built for mediocre. You are meant to live a big, 874 00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,760 beautiful old life. And if you want to go deeper, 875 00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,480 come follow me over on Instagram at Michelle Panning. 876 00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,560 The link will be in the description, that is where I 877 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:48,960 share all the behind the scenes content and you will get to 878 00:47:48,960 --> 00:47:53,320 follow me and my journey as I raise my standards alongside 879 00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:55,600 you. So I love you, I believe in your 880 00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:58,240 next level and I will see you in the next episode. 881 00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:00,680 Now go unbuck your life, babe.