So I reiterate here, the bill is dead.
The story of this great city is about the years before this
night. Hey everybody, it's a new
episode of Hong Kong. I'm sitting here with my buddy,
my best friend. Wait, what?
Best friend. You got upgraded after about
four years of doing this together.
Finally I. 200 episodes later, you're like, fine, yeah.
Fine, I will. I like it a little bit more now.
How are you? Man, I'm OK, I'm excited.
This is 200 episode and I feel that we've, we have upped our
game. We, we really have.
Yeah, we did. Yeah, we're we're doing
something different. Normally we get guests on the
podcast just so that we don't have to talk so much because
we're not really best friends, but you know, we have to on the
show. I have to come all the way up
your damn hill. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I walk for 10 minutes for this.
Yeah. I make the episode at 11:00 AM
so you can take the 10:00 AM escalator upwards.
Yes, I'm a kind person. Very.
Convenient, yes. Yeah.
But I mean, we have guests and we have every now and then
sometimes we double down, we get 2 guests.
Yes, we've had three guests before, but we.
Actually had in Melbourne, we had about 6 guests at the same
time. Yeah.
That's different. Different country as the count.
Yeah, that is OK. Yeah, it's true.
Sorry. And that's like SAR.
Yeah, with my little space. The maximum we had was two or
three. Maximum 3 because we don't.
We don't have that many. We don't have mics.
Yeah, we don't have mics. No chairs at the moment.
Yes, to come and come. So today for the 200th episode,
we've been doing this for since. What's 200 / 52?
It's a little. Bit a little bit over four years
ish. We also stopped for about 6
months because I literally got prosecuted but that's a
different. Story a different story for your
own reasons, but yes. OK, so for the 200th we decided
to go. All out, all out now I.
Brought you a bunch of guests. I don't know a lot of people.
I don't think. I believe I will.
Prove it to you. OK.
All right. Let's see how many guests we
have. How many guests we Oh my
goodness, Muhammad, you go. Did you bring your whole
Egyptian family over? What happened?
Actually, I have one that I flew from Shanghai.
Well, he flew himself. I ran before him, but he came
from Shanghai for this. Wow.
Yeah. So we have.
Yeah. For the 200th.
We have a bunch of people here at the beautiful venue of the
aftermath. That is right at the basement on
Windham St. Come on down here if you're
actually listening to this, because we're not here because
we've finished the recording. But yeah, you know it's not.
How it works at all the way back, it's live recordings right
now in the room. It's not where the people are
listening. I thought you have to be alive
and this is the recording. Well, you won't be dead by the.
Time that's OK, but then two other episode like the best
thing about this is that we have a live audience, which means
definitely we can do something different.
Yes. So everyone is a guest, which
means if you guys have listened to the podcast, when we have a
guest on, we obviously talk to them and this today you can just
talk at us and we have a mic for you so you can.
Just wireless mic? Yes, make that clear.
Yes, yeah, that. Was investment right there?
So yeah, you can pass the mic around.
You can basically pretty much interrupt and ask whatever you
want. We'll do some acknowledgement as
well as well for some past guests on the podcast that are
here in the room tonight. But yeah, I was just to give you
the mic here. And as we explained before, the
mic, you need to turn it on if you're talking, but just keep it
on for now. Anyone can just raise their hand
and get the mic you don't like cross, but to to do a little bit
of a warm up slash. What do they call?
It break, break, breaking the ice.
Yeah, yeah. And I, I prepared a few things
that actually would get you guys engaged with us. 1 is how well
do you know us? And two is, how big of a fan of
the podcast are you? Yeah, so let's be honest.
Let's see who is here randomly. Yeah.
There you go.
Like half the people in the room have no idea what's happening.
Yeah. Because scientifically proven
that a lot of people when they work, they use different types
of noises, pink noises, white noise.
Clearly our podcast is brown noise.
Whether that's your reason, we will know by simply asking
questions. You should know should be paying
attention to each and every episode that we've done so far.
OK, let's start with a really easy one.
And again, the mic. Where is the mic?
Yeah, you guys, it's just like if someone knows the answer, you
can just raise your hand and grab the microphone so we can
get you. One thing that we have to
clarify is that when you answer the question, we need to make
sure that you are in fact human and you, you know you belong and
everything. So therefore if you will give us
the answer, you have to say hi, I am exactly the answer is so
and so like that. You can actually have a made-up
name if you don't want your name publicly on the exact biggest
podcast in Central. Or if you want to get someone in
trouble, use their name and then go to work on Monday.
Be like what the hell man. Also, there's a.
Few people who are here like very close friends of mine, so
I'm going to veto the three people sitting in the back here.
Yeah, you guys cannot answer any of these questions because you
know everything. Cassie, by the way, is one of
the pre main previous guests before give it up for Cassie
Thomas, everyone. Yeah, Cassie has been featured
multiple times run podcast, podcast runs a meme group on
Facebook. That's her job, chaotic Hong
Kong expats. And on the opposite side, we
have fantastic previous guest, Mr. Ben Cowen is standing with
us here today. A professor.
Yeah, sorry, you guys can give him the the mic.
Who can give Ben? Yeah, if you've been coughing a
lot and stuff, that is the person to go up to.
So who's listening during COVID? So yeah, Ben, very quickly,
thanks for coming back on unintentionally, but very good
to actually we did this whole thing so we can catch up with
you. Thank you.
Yeah, Ben, you came out a few times during COVID and now you
disappeared again. Yeah, because nothing is
happening. Which is good.
Exactly. It's exactly.
We're catching a. Gemeologists.
If you don't hear from them, it's good news.
Exactly. If you don't hear from them,
it's really good to have you. We actually had a few people who
asked us about you, like where? Where did you go after COVID?
They're like, did they fire him? Not yet.
So very briefly, what are you working on these days after it's
covered over? Yeah, kind of is, is is
definitely quiet now, thankfully.
So I'm having a bit of a rest, but yeah, not, not, not a
complete rest. Still working at the university,
busy on. Wait, COVID is working at the
university? I'm still working at the
university. You're COVID having a break?
Yeah, COVID for a second. I was like, I just went to Hong
Kong. You just recently.
I'm in trouble now. One last question for you, Ben.
When is the next COVID? Not for many many years
hopefully. I'm a bit worried about H5 in
the US. The bird bird flu.
Now in cows, Moo flu. They call it moo flu.
It's a bit worrying but hopefully not too worried.
Moo. Flu is a great name by the.
Way, yeah. Moo flu.
It's weird. It's it's really weird.
It's in the udders of the cows, right?
What So the the H5 is a bird flu.
Yeah, it occasionally effects humans.
And in cows in the US, it's infecting their udders.
I don't know what that means. The milk, the milking part.
So. There's a ton, a ton of virus.
In milk. All right, that's one way to go
vegan. If you go to a supermarket in
the US and you buy a pint of milk off the shelf and you take
it to the lab, you can find fragments of H5 virus.
Thanks Ben. You always bring good news.
Take the mic off him. Please.
Give it up from Professor, Bank County, everyone.
Oh man, I I feel like you know me this big pharma behind all
these. I think it's big, big outside or
something one. Of these old company.
Yeah, Oatley. Oatley outside all the oats and
whatever they are nowadays. All right, so for people who are
not my three best friends sitting in the back.
Here. Wait, wait, wait.
I'll do your best friend. I'm down.
Yeah, OK. Oh, yeah.
Sorry. You got downgraded quickly.
He flew from Shanghai. What the hell did he do?
I grew up from Cambridge. Across the road, I looked both
ways. All.
Right. I suggested that we do this at
another venue and he's like, no, this one is stupid.
It's not happening. Yeah, exactly.
I'm not walking more than 5. By the way, also Alicia from the
aftermath here very, very quickly because we come to stand
up here sometimes and she said, hey, your podcast audience look
like they have money. Yeah, as opposed to the regular
stand up audience, she's like, no, no, actually her words were.
They look like they have jobs. That's the exact word.
Clearly she never met Cassie, but you know, everyone else.
You guys look like you have jobs, according to Alicia from
the Aftermath. Yeah.
So that's very impressive that we're attracting such an
audience. But the problem is this looks,
can this be deceiving? So whether they are smart, they
might look smart, but whether they're smart, we will find out
real soon in this little quizzy, Quizzy that.
OK, yeah, little quizzy, Quizzy, just start over with an easy
one. What is Vivek's girlfriend's
name? Oh, right over there, guy.
So we. Have to like work.
Here I'm so my current girlfriend, right current.
I hope this is wrong. This will be hilarious.
I don't know how long the list would be.
Oh my God. Hi, I'm Rahul, long time
listener of the podcast and Vivek's girlfriend's name is
Gloria. Wow.
Give it up for Rahul everyone. Rahul, why do you know all?
Right, very easy. You should not be proud of that.
You should be ashamed, all right.
Next one How many apartments does Vivek own?
Oh, snap. All right, this gentleman over
here in a suit, I feel like he's a real.
Estate suit, yeah. Now, before you answer the
question, the First things first is that do you have anything to
do with real estate? No, you don't have anything to
do with real estate. OK, So there's no conflict of
interest. There's no you're trying to sell
me, but you could have 3rd, 4th or 5th or 6th or something like
that. No.
All right, So again, the he. Doesn't have the suit for it.
He does have the suit for it. Yeah, exactly.
OK, so please answer how many? According to most research, how
many apartments do I do I technically own?
My name is Cessa and the answer is 2.
I think that's technically wrong.
That is, you could say technically technically kind of
wrong ish. Yeah, exactly because we did
mention before that there is how many Vivek?
Technically 3 in total. There you go. 3 technically 3 in
total. Yeah, exactly.
So it's a very long, complicated thing.
However, in full technicality, legally, I own one.
OK, wow, you're paying for three.
Paying for three? Paying mortgage on three it.
Sucks. Like, this is the life of
comedy, man. You're like, oh, this guy's all
optimistic and happy. I'm like, you think I want to do
these gigs? I don't want to do these gigs.
I want to go home and sleep. But no.
Which is a perfect segue. This episode is sponsored by
Vivex apartment sign point if you want to rent it.
Yeah yeah exactly why we want to brought this up.
We wrote this question on purpose.
Exactly. So it's how many rooms and.
It's basically, I believe it is 1234.
It's almost 4 1/2 five rooms. It's two on suites.
Yeah, it's ridiculous. It's a long story.
I'm paying for something I can't even live in.
All right, you have no idea how stupid this whole thing is.
But the idea is, if you're really like you, if you're bored
and you have no family or you do have a lot of family, call me.
I will not negotiate. And, you know, don't give me all
the patron, if any. If you tell me your patron
subscriber, I'll pay up the price anyway.
That is true. OK, next question, how many
siblings do I have? Mohammed Magdi is the stage name
but. Oh my God.
All right, you guys are big fans, so let's.
Let's be something clear, people.
Who are yeah, not obviously very close to me.
Again there is like 123456 this Table 5.
Give us a range. Do we have a range 1-2?
How many? What do you think?
How many siblings? Dude, I don't know.
In the Middle East, it could be 12:00.
That's fine. Fair enough.
OK, it's somewhere between zero and five.
Zero and five. Wow.
All right. I'm getting 3 here, but no
that's. Wrong with you, the Birdman.
Yeah, anyone? Go with the wild guess.
And now looking at my God he's one of either zero to 50.
Being no siblings, I am pretty. Sure, I mentioned this is how,
how how much of a fan these these people are.
I've mentioned many times that I am the middle child exactly what
does that mean? So.
That itself tells you it should be an odd number.
Yes, exactly. Middle child is only one thing
and you're still giving me wrong.
You're giving me a lot of fingers still, like, four.
OK, middle child. There you go.
I'm getting two in the back. Yeah.
So I'm the middle child means. Yeah.
So 2 + 1 is. Is 3.
No, it's. Three including me.
Yes. I mean, yeah, yeah.
So essentially I'm saying like 3, obviously, like the total
number is an odd number. So now we're learning something
new about Muhammad. Now, can I ask you real quick?
Yes. Are you going to ask about the
gender of your siblings? I did I say brothers?
No. Well, they one of them is fluid.
I don't know he's not, but just two, two, yeah. 222 Male Male.
People now they are, yes. Now they.
Yeah, exactly. They is 2 of them together, not
separately. Fluid.
Yes.
All right, how? Oh yeah, Why does Vivek hate the
outdoors? Oh, this one's a good one,
people. He has.
He has not seen these questions before.
But yeah, I haven't seen these questions, but yeah, why?
Why if you? This is a topic that comes up
actually, we can open it up to you guys as well if you do know
the. Answer the closest description.
Like, yeah, that's the. Mic in the back here.
Yes, right. Let's just pass it over to
Cassie, please. This did came up come up many
times on the podcast. Yeah, This is why Vivek hates
the outdoors. Please introduce yourself, use
whatever name you want to be if you want to do as guest as.
Well, Mohammed Baghdi. They, well, your English got
worse, yeah. Muhammad, they are you now.
Yes, is it? Going It's because he has
overactive sweat glands. Oh no, that's not the usual
reason. Yes, I do have a reason.
Very active sweat glands, I'll admit that.
But then again, different weather, different outdoors.
We can all smell it now. Yeah, Yeah.
But. The outdoors, it doesn't matter
if I'm slope or down as like just the idea of being outdoors,
nature, that kind of stuff. What is the reason I don't like
it I. Don't know, I just thought it
was the sweating. Just visually sounds a little
bit racist given him is race and yours Yeah exactly compared
they're. Talking about I'm Mohammed
Magdi. Yeah, that doesn't sound right.
OK, so one more. Yeah.
So one more guess. If you have had listened to the
podcast before, we would discuss every now and then about, you
know, oh, it's great to go out or like Mohammed talking about
hiking and going outdoors. And I would usually always have
a certain phrase I say, which is a three word phrase and and
we'll just shut him down where he's like, OK, I guess you don't
care about this so much, but why do I not like the outdoors?
So there's there's a reason behind the lack of interest to
the outdoors. Can you do you know what it is
it's related to? A lot of times when I'm
discussing things with Mohammed on the podcast, my reason to do
many things has one key. Element, it's a very key element
to. It's basically the Vex catch
phrase. Yeah, in a way, you can come
back to it. We can come back to that later
if you guys don't. Have, I think, I think, oh.
Yeah, there you go. We have an audience.
Garen another yeah. Please tell you yeah who slash
comedian? Yeah, three time guest, first
time listener. Yeah, Gary.
Nice. 3 words, no air conditioning.
OK, that's also that's also in the right direction, but that is
not the most specific reason why.
OK, but no air conditioning, definitely.
It's a comfort issue, yes, but we're getting there because
anybody has, again, remember a lot of times when I talk on the
podcast, you will find that I'm always busy with doing stuff and
something's happening. So right over there we have
someone, right? OK, who are you today?
Oh, you're going to turn on the turn on the mic.
Hey, it's OK. No one can hear that.
It's fine. OK, You can say it again now.
Yeah. No, I said I'm stupid.
Hey. Yeah, it's a waste of time.
Oh, right over there. There you go.
Correct. It's all about time.
It's about the efficiency matter.
Going outdoors. Like I always say, I go outside,
I see the tree. I'm like, technically I could
have turned on my computer and seen the tree on the screen.
Why am I going all the way to see the same thing within like,
you know, probably lower resolution.
I have better lighting on my computer and stuff like that.
Secondly, it's inefficient as in I'm not getting any ROI.
There's no return on this investment.
I look at the tree, I'm like and what do you want me to do?
Into my life talking to this guy.
And the phrase is always, I get it.
You talk to any comedian from Asia and they will tell you the
story of Vivek going to a beach with all the comedians.
I look at the ocean and I'm like, I get it.
What do you want to do with this?
That's Vivek's signature phrase. Once you tell him something or
to do something or take him somewhere, he goes.
Yeah, OK, I get it. I get it.
The ocean is the sky. I've absorbed it.
I'm feeling him peace. OK.
What do you want to do now? Yeah, exactly.
So my whole thing is because it's.
ROI is just like needs to. Absolutely.
Like again, my reasoning and anybody, including my girlfriend
Gloria will say the same thing. She'll know that I will go to
the beach, I will see it and I'll be like, what's the
objective here? She's like to enjoy it.
I've just enjoyed it. I did that already.
What are we doing next? Saying that you can continue.
I'm like, why would I keep doing something I already did?
Like there's no ROI over any of that anymore.
Hence why outdoors I don't like it so much.
Not because I'm like, I want to be computer, but the whole idea
is that I go there, I see nature, I'm like, and how is
this improving my career? You know, all that kind of
stuff. Right as we have an add on.
Yeah, exactly. You have an add on answer,
right? Yeah, just switch on.
There we go. Hi, so my name is Emily.
And so I'm just wondering so, so you don't want to go camping.
Why would I, I, I own 3 houses like why am I paying mortgage?
Like what is the point? Like do you not understand the
concept? Like I want to have the options
to be under roofs but camping like, so let me understand.
You go somewhere, you go, boy. Yeah, you go there, you go all
the way to somewhere and then you put this thing together.
You're putting to protect yourself should it start
raining, you know, and you're like, I don't want to get wet,
OK. You put this stuff up.
Should there be like animals and all that stuff, you know,
intruders. You want to protect yourself
from that. Hence we have the camp.
I've already done all that stuff.
I have this thing that's designed for me to be in it.
Now you might say, yeah, but you want to be one with nature.
I own 2 plants, so I'm already halfway there.
OK, I look there and let's be honest, just put the plant in
front of your face. It's pretty much all nature.
Right, Emily, Don't, don't try. It's hopeless, all right.
Sorry I was just going to ask what if?
What if she wants to go camping, you know?
Gloria, you have not met my girlfriend, all right.
No, no, actually, she loves the beach and everything.
So generally the rule is. He he would also just stand
there by herself. Yeah, I'll tell her to go go
nuts. Enjoy.
I have no problem other people enjoying it.
I'm like, what's it for me? However, I'll be honest with
you, This is why I keep myself busy.
So there's no chance for her to guilt me into going to the beach
with her. Do you get it?
I'm like, I'm doing this for us. You know, I'm taking this gig
because yeah, yeah, she's like, fine, I'll go there myself.
But yeah, I say all this now, but I guarantee you should the
day come, she's like, maybe we go to the beach.
I'm like, we go to the beach. Yeah, we do that.
Yeah, yeah, we do that. But I'll sit there getting it
the whole time. I'm like the whole time we just,
I'm just. Getting it?
Yeah. Will.
You get in the water. Well, again, the water, it
depends which water. If it's Hong Kong water, do you
want to get in the water? Let's be honest.
Yeah. Probably not.
I mean. Let's admit it, right?
You know, And that's the moment. Far away.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, say it again.
Even his dog. Your dog won't get in the water
if that mate. Could get in the.
Water. Even Batman couldn't get away.
That's true. Yeah.
He was like, no, I'm just jumping up.
IFC. That's pretty much it.
Leave me alone, right? I'm not touching that.
No, but that see, that's where I can get her back.
We go to the beach. I could go to the ocean.
She's like, no, I'm like don't you want to be with nature, you
know, at home? The water at home on the
bathtub. Pretty clean, right?
This stuff not happening. So much of A baller this guy is.
He has a bathtub. Hold on, not in the house I live
in though. The house I live in doesn't.
Happen. Not the one you're living in,
but. Yeah, the one I'm paying for.
That one of the ones. Yeah, that's a good point.
Yeah, so camping. So hence why the outdoor thing,
you will very rarely see me happily going hiking.
When I'm hiking, I'm probably doing it not happily, but I'm
doing it and nonetheless. But yeah, that's a good point.
That's. A good point, switch to how big
a fan you are. Where did we record our 100th
episode? And he's got.
His All right, Yeah, We got a we have a hand.
Up here. OK, we'll pass it.
All right. Who are you today?
Yeah, Upwards. Upwards.
Yeah, Snap it upwards. There you.
Go. All right, My name's Aaron and I
think you recorded your hard drive episode at the lovely Sun
Yates in Park. Nice.
Do it up for Aaron, everyone. I thought he's going to just say
Park. I was like, he's going to
generalize it. But yeah, he did the whole sun
Yates in and added lovely. Because Patriots only, right?
We know that you have to prove that kind.
Of yeah we did record it and actually just checked on the one
of the fans had a nice camera that day yeah and he gave us
like a lovely photo and I checked the date on it today and
it was 2022 so. Wow, it's been a while.
Yeah, it's been a while. Age, yeah.
Terrible. Don't remember the month or the
day, but, you know, I looked at the year.
Yeah. And it was 20/22.
It was 2 people. It was.
Yeah. Because it was that two people
rule during. That is correct.
Yeah. Wow, you really are.
Yeah. It was because of the two people
rule. We couldn't actually do a
gathering like this for the 100th episode.
Yeah. So we need to wait for two more
years. Thanks, Ben.
Yeah, yeah, should. Timed it better, right?
I mean, like we did clarify it was 100th episode, you know,
like, but you. Anything related to COVID now I
just blame it on Ben. Yeah, it's great.
Thanks, Aaron. All right, one more question and
then I'll move into the next thing.
Who is Vivek accused of plagiarizing a joke from?
Who? Vivek.
There was a Yeah, there was a story.
There you go. We can pass it on to.
We'll pass it on, Rahul. There you go.
Can you do it? You can put on a voice and put
you someone else if you want to, yeah.
Hi, I'm Mithi's husband. Nice.
Oh, and what she one point she wanted to say sorry before.
Yeah. She's like, you did your 100th
episode in Sonya 10 Park. I remember.
And she's like, that means he was in nature.
See great area. Yes, great area.
I will answer that for him. It's because it was work, that's
why. Yeah, if it's work, you can
actually get him to actual hell and you will do it if you're
paying him. You should see some of the ads
I've done before. They make good place.
I'm like, OK, sure, I'm on the clock, I'll do whatever the hell
you want. Yeah.
However, yes. However, we did step outside of
the grass area. We were on the cement area.
I was, I need a little, you know, comfort zone.
We did that. And also I had the mask on so I
wasn't inhaling nature either. They made us have the mask on
that the security people would come constantly to us while
we're recording. Clearly we're like recording
something and they're just making us put the mask back on
while recording because the Hong Kong makes a lot of.
Sense don't we love like park security people?
They come up there and they see you having fun.
They're like, yeah. Not a buy watch.
Yeah, this is not what the park is meant for.
This is a zoning thing. It's not a joy.
Dog, I go ahead and report me if you want.
I take her to that park, but after midnight because that's
where everyone leaves. And she loves that park because
it's so big and she runs around in the grass.
But during the day, good luck trying to get anything on that
part. It's like, I don't know what
they're protecting it from, honestly.
They're growing it for six months of the.
All right, I'm going to stop this.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
See, I don't have so bad. I never, I never complained
myself. You know why?
Because I don't go there. I don't go to all these places
with problems anyway. Oh.
Yeah. Oh yeah, you have never answered
the question. Who is the Vivec accused of
plagiarizing a joke from? Oh I I hope this is the answer.
Obviously. Wasn't it yourself in another
language? Correct.
Yeah. Oh my goodness, now this is
stalker level now I'm working. Yeah, where else would you go
from Up from the Patreon? I think you could just live in
his. House.
Yeah, you pretty much know you're one of the three.
There you go. Yeah, quickly.
You can tell real quick what happened is honestly on my
Instagram someone I have a video.
Instagram Vivek, by the way. Don't go to the other one which?
Is yours which is the other Muhammad?
Yeah. OK.
So basically the whole thing happened is the one day I put
this video of me press a joke about how happiness in Hong
comes when you're alone to lift you press the door close button
while your friend is running towards lift, right?
That's the joke. There's an English video and a
canteens video. Put it online.
First of all, that was never intended to go viral, but it is
the way it is. It went viral and people love
that last up. And then someone actually left a
comment on my Cantonese video and they said you stole this
joke and I replied, I'm sorry, who would I steal this from?
And they accept me my English video saying I stole that from
this person and I was like what? Right.
And it really made me think, I'm like, I understand, you know,
they all look the same. And I get it, That's racist.
I get it. But like when the same Indian
looks the same and you don't acknowledge that that's racist,
OK, You know that hurts even more.
Comedian Tim Chan, local comedian, has a joke about Guilo
beer, and he jokes about how the name itself is racist because
like, it's Guilo's drinking Guilo's.
And one of his lines is, yeah, they teach you how to racist
yourself, which is such a funny line from a Chinese guy who does
not speak very good English, so he thinks it's good English, not
knowing that how to racist yourself is not a sentence.
Exactly, and this has come from someone who used to teach
English in mainland China, right?
Right at the Mohammed. Still correcting them even
though you're out of the job. Yeah.
Well, thank you, Rebecca. Thanks for reminding everyone.
Did we all submit the questions slash comments, give you a few
minutes if you haven't? Yeah, we'll pass it around a
bit. Yeah.
And then I want to get into this because I think this will take a
little. Bit of time, definitely, right.
Yeah. So on top of that, actually The
funny thing is right now some people have asked us, hey, so
everything you see right now in this live recording, all this
equipment on this table here is thanks to all our Patreon
subscribers, right, Patreon subscribers.
So thanks to you, we have. Yeah, There we go.
Make some noise for yourself. Yeah.
Thank you hold on a second. Not the non Patreon subscribers.
You don't have yourself right Yeah.
So yeah the mixture, the mics, the cables, everything, the
batteries I pay for myself, the electricity mine as well.
All right, I just want to clarify.
However, everything else that you see on this table is in.
Fact. Actually, there is someone here
that you would remember, but you don't know her name or face.
I'm loyal to my girlfriend. I would never.
Remember. All right, Yeah, I brought two
of your exes here. Yeah, he is in the back anyway.
That's why you broke up. No, actually, so during COVID,
when we are promoting the Patreon, all of that someone, we
got so excited, you and I, because someone paid for an
entire year, which is not very unusual.
Like Patreon gives you the option to pay for a whole year,
but no one really does that, right?
And someone did pay for an entire year.
Turns out that's my friend Katie, who's right here and.
Wait wait wait, give her the mic because much later I feel like
she's got to explain. Exactly she might.
Feel like let's turn on the mic and make sure that we can hear
you properly. All right, Katie, please tell
us. Hi, I'm Katie.
I used to listen to your podcast.
All right, that's not a good start.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. I I listen to your podcast in
the mornings. Yes, and and at the time my
husband used to drive me crazy because he couldn't tolerate the
rules in Hong Kong and I listen to him bitch every day.
But when he said it wasn't funny, you said the same things.
When you said it was funny, Yeah, yeah.
And, you know, I've have a, you know, steady income.
I'm a teacher. There's always kids somewhere.
I've stopped bragging. I.
Was like, you know, you had to buy me a coffee and so I was
going to buy you a coffee and I was like, oh, it's only it's
only like 100 Hong Kong dollars or something.
So I'll get a couple. I got a bunch.
Yeah. Not realizing the US dollars.
Oh yeah, that's what it was. Yes, We have a Buy me a coffee,
which you can still do, by the way.
Buy me a coffee and yes. So you thought you bought a
hundred of them. I.
I bought a bunch. I don't even.
Know how many it was? You know, and we got so excited
because I think you added, you did the equivalent of 4000 Hong
Kong. Dollars it was.
It was like 100 U.S. dollars. Yeah, OK.
Yeah. So not that much, but.
Which is fine, but I I didn't know.
Yeah, that I did made this mathematical error.
Yeah. Yeah, we're, we're realizing
the, you know, the currency until my husband heard the
episode. Oh.
I was talking about. Wow, we got you in trouble.
And said like. Some girl named.
Katie bought a lot of coffee and I was like.
That was me. Thank you, Katie.
Give it up for Katie, everyone. Let me just.
Say here, even though you're not in the Patreon, here's a free
drink ticket. There you go.
All I can say is someone should have stayed in school.
During. Math doing math class, Yeah.
She is a teacher. How dare you?
Well, she. Didn't say she teaches math.
You don't teach math. I hope she doesn't.
You. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
If you yeah true, they wouldn't have numbers.
That's right. Can we get that bucket?
The bucket. Oh, we have the questions ready.
Oh wow, this is good. Yeah, let's do it.
This is. The moment of truth.
Yes, thank you. Now what's gonna happen here as
Mohammed's gonna take out a sheet of.
Paper. Yeah, either we can do 1 each.
Actually, OK, keep it there. Let's do that.
All right, so this is a question.
We don't know who it's from it. Could be comments as well.
It can be and I hope it's me and stuff.
There you go. Please tell us the best dad joke
that's right for you. Yeah, please tell.
Us the best dad joke and it's. I guess it's like one of those
days. Hey Dad, do I look right?
No, you can look left too. Stuff like that.
You know, like. No, no, this is not.
Don't even laugh at that. That's terrible, right, Rebecca?
Try again. Other dad jokes Oh my God, like
first of all I have such a battery so my dad that really
hurts. There is a drink bar stuff.
You can help me. There is a drink called
Grasshopper. Is that true?
Yeah, right. OK, I know a dad joke.
Yeah. There you go.
There's a Grasshopper. Grasshopper walked into a bar
and the bartender said, hey, we need the drink after you.
He goes. You need the drink, Steve.
There you go. Thank you, Thank you.
Nice. Thank you.
Clearly better relationship, right?
There. Thank you.
That's a good one. That's.
That's how it works. I've never heard your podcast
intrigue me, why should I listen?
Wow. Someone.
Someone came to be a challenger. They're like, I'm going to go to
this live recording and tell them I never listen to your
recording. Convince me why I should
continue staying like you made all the effort to come here to
say like, tell me why I should not go home now.
Actually, I would say just by default, it's the only comedy
podcast being produced in Hong Kong.
So if you want to hear anything about the stand up comedy scene
in Hong Kong, you just listen to this podcast because there is no
competition. Yeah, so we're the best one by
default. It's not because we're amazing,
it's because we're the only. Unless you can start your own
podcast to compete with us. Yeah, but actually we also
pretty much get everyone who is doing something interesting in
Hong Kong. This is a little bit of a
serious note. Like anyone who's doing
something cool or interesting, we try to get them on to tell
their story to our audience. So, you know, we've had people
like Professor Ben, but we also have people who are like, you
know, studying new projects like the flat iron guys who are
objectively crazy story because, you know, just a couple of years
ago, no one has heard of flat iron steak.
Now they're popping up everywhere.
And it's because they had a shipment of meat that was
supposed to go to the Middle East, ended up in Hong Kong.
And it's like, what to do with all this meat?
Let's just open restaurants, which is pretty cool.
And we'd have not known that story if that guy didn't come on
the podcast. So stuff like this that also we
just we, you know, we enjoy talking to interesting people.
So why not give them an audience, right?
Yeah, that's one thing. And also in this day and age,
it's all about diversity, equity and inclusion.
And let's be honest, if your podcast listening habits don't
have a lot of diversity, you are not in the times of today,
right, number one. And we're helping.
We're doing you a favor by letting you when you have your
end of your Spotify Wrapped and it says you are a global citizen
thanks to our podcast. That's the diversity, all right,
and the inclusion aspect of it. Please include our podcast in
your listing as well. And the equity is by giving us
the money, by being Patreon subscribers, we can now enjoy
the white person's life as well, right?
So then we have our. Actually, by we he means him.
That's true. That's true.
Yeah. I mean, yeah.
You know, I'm, I'm, I'm in Shanghuang.
That's pretty much a high, as high as you can get for, for,
you know, a poor artist. Yeah, Who's not working his Dick
off until he dies at 50? That's you and for you're.
Wasting time going to the beach, right?
That's like those I know it's paying there.
Yeah, that is true. Yeah, I go Yeah.
Beach so much. My beard just started turning
blonde. There's actually from the sun.
I'm not even joking. So I should stop being outdoor
more. Yeah.
And why? Meanwhile you're you're all just
going grey. I'm just going grey, right?
From working too much. Working too much and basically
not enough sunshine to burn up the grey into black again.
Exactly. But also our pockets are very
motivational. Inspiring because when you
listen to Muhammad's life and you're like I would never want
to be like that you're like I'm gonna I'm gonna work hard today
yes exactly and hopefully you you listen to what I'm living
like I can never be that either then you bounce it off with your
life bounce as well so every. Pretty much every story, every
story that we have of something we did, it's usually him flying
first class and me being smuggled on a carriage of
something. Absolutely.
If you go back to the episode from New Year's Eve last year,
exactly a year ago, we shared stories about our respective New
Year's Eve gig and had actually the worst gig in my entire
comedy career while he was being showered with caviar or some.
Shows that the wasn't it the the Hong Kong Golf Club?
Yeah I was over there with like all the high flies going like oh
happy new year. They're like guys have a drink
on awesome I. Was bombing to a bunch of rich
people in Clearwater Bay. It was horrible.
Yeah. Just go back.
Same moment, dude. The exact same moment.
I'm like, all right, everyone
have a good night. You're like, oh please, I just
want to end this tonight. I had a guy.
I had a guy walk up to me during my set, working like performing
to rich people right before midnight goes, what are you
supposed to be, a comedian? I'm like, yes, he goes, is this
funny? I'm like, no, it's like, I don't
hear, he said. I don't hear anyone laughing.
That's how bad it was. Man, yeah, on top of that, just
after the countdown, yes, I was walking on the seaside from the
Golf Club all to Ocean Park, MTR station.
It's a beautiful walk, right? I'm looking at the ocean thing
like 2024. It's been great.
You're such a great start to the year.
And that time you were where? Yes, I was in a taxi.
You were in a taxi looking at the fireworks go off.
I can't even be like, outside on the street, look at the
fireworks. Yeah, I'm seeing it from the
window of the taxi. Yeah.
So again, DI, it's about it's buying, helping the poor,
helping those that are needy, and also helping us chase our
dreams as well. All right, let's do the next.
Question, All right, I have a MO.
Where is your girlfriend? She is in Australia, where she
is from. So she would be fine.
Yeah, she's in Australia. She had some medical stuff.
She went, she came on the podcast as well.
She shared some of it, but she has medical stuff.
She's fine now. She'll come back and by the time
you listen to this, like about a week or two from now, so yeah,
come back. She's a wedding celebrant.
So now in Australia, because the weather is getting a little warm
because opposite fucking how does it work?
The. Southern Hemisphere.
Thank you, that worked. Yes, they're in the South.
There's a reason I had the three houses and he.
Yeah, so it's getting warm. So it's wedding season right
before Christmas, so they do a bunch of weddings and stuff.
So she's doing that and hopefully she'll bring some
money back. All right.
Next question. I need that.
Otherwise me and my dog are going.
To he's only. Yes, there is a long one if I
could read it. I read up by stairs over here.
Really long. OK, small hand right away with
the new Kitech Stadium, do you think that could attract more
big name comics to come? If so, who would you like to see
who hasn't come before? All right, with the new Kitech
Stadium, that's like 60,000 seater, right?
Yes, I think the only the only comedian who I think could feel
that in Hong Kong, it's probably Ali Wong, probably the only one
who can fill that many people in Hong Kong.
Yeah, I can't think of anyone else.
I guess not even like a Dave Chappelle can fill that much.
Not in Hong Kong. I think even Kevin Hart may not
be able to. I don't Jimmy O Yang.
Oddly enough, I for some reason, the number of talk I've got with
people in Hong Kong talking about Jimmy O Yang as being
like, oh, my God, wait, will you ever come to Hong Kong?
It is because he's from Hong Kong.
Yeah. So the whole idea is that we've
got someone who left Hong Kong, made it big in the States.
Coming back, a lot of jokes about Hong Kong as well.
Yeah, and that in the South, people will be like, we got to
check this. Yeah.
Because see, Hong Kong has worked this way.
If you're famous in Hong Kong, they're like, yeah, you're one
of us. We don't give a shit about.
Yes, but the moment you go overseas and you get approval
over there, that like, we need some of that stuff.
Oh my God, this guy must be good.
Yeah, the exact same joke. They'll pay three times the
price because just because you went overseas, performed 1 show
and they're like this is the best.
But yeah, I think Jimmy Owinga May 60,000 seats.
Then again, let's be honest, the Hong Kong government will quite
intervene and sell like $50,000 seats to whatever.
Yes, because social distancing for some reason and stuff, yeah.
And then like, I think he and Ali Wong could do it.
They will definitely have to be an Asian.
I think yeah, exactly. That's something like we find
out as well from running shows. Is that like to, to, in order to
go past a certain limit in Hong Kong, you have to have some sort
of local connection in terms of like, yeah, being Asian or.
Identity. Stuff, identity stuff.
So I think Ali Wong could be. Yeah, that might happen.
And if we play our cards right soon enough, this really, really
funny comedian called Vivek Mabuk.
I'm kidding. 60,000 seats in Hong Kong.
No way, dude. Like, yeah, that's an Indian
wedding. That's not happening.
I do not want that happening. I might be the number of guests
and then family have to invite and talk to.
Oh, my goodness. Never, man.
All right, That's that's a pretty good one.
Yeah. But let's see.
Let's see what the whole guy. Hey, did you know that the, the,
the the guy who does the cultural and sports guy just got
fired? Yeah.
Oh, yes. Yeah.
All right. Just today.
They just announced it today. Let me just say when I heard
that, I'm like, it's about time. All right?
Let me tell you, I've done events where I have to introduce
him and he seems like a nice guy, but he's one of those types
of guys that just sits there and just says like, you know, I'm
just going to keep my paycheck. And if you want to do a gig in
Hong Kong, call me. I won't call you.
It's one of those passive guys, Right.
And when he got fired, I'm like, well, maybe Kitech might
actually have Ali Wong now. Yeah, true.
It might happen. Yeah.
But yeah, I'm saying this because he's fired.
If he wasn't fired, I't such a great, you know, Hong Kong, you
know I'm going. To say he was great all the way
because I don't have PR yet. All of these guys are fantastic.
They're doing a great job. Everyone in the government, 10
out of 10, Yeah. Please don't kick me out of the
country. Exactly.
Someone else is asking worth it to wear masks out indoors or no
during flu season? I feel like this question is for
someone in the room. If you pass the mic back to him,
please. Sorry Ben, that was not planned,
but we literally have the top expert in the room.
No, I mean, it's up to you. So I think if you, if you really
want to avoid getting flu, you got to be religious about
avoiding it. You can't like wear a mask in
here and then get on the MTR back home and take it off,
right. So unless you're willing to be
very religious about being very, very careful the entire flu
season, I would say probably don't bother, actually.
How about wearing masks during sex?
They're not recommended. Not recommended.
I guess you go that way, Ben tell you one of those all.
Right. Thank you, Ben.
Then again, I mean, wouldn't that be such an interesting
social experiment to see how long can you last with masks at
every part of your life? Like the like the moment you see
someone when you wake up in the morning and stuff, the moment
you leave your door, your your room, I guess you put on the
mask like can you? So you have to keep the mask on
when you're sleeping, if you like, live with someone as well
in the same apartment. Oh, my goodness.
OK. Yeah, that's.
Yeah. I guess there's no point.
No point then, yeah. Saying you have to be religious
about it as well. Yeah.
It's. Anyone want to make out alright
or no? OK, yeah.
Next question. How many blankets and pillows
did you steal from cafe? Yeah, All right.
This is a common topic that comes up.
I am getting 3 in the back from the gentleman at the bar who
actually Do you listen to the podcast?
No, exactly. So thank you.
I'm happy you are stealing as well because this is a point of
contention between Vivek and me and some of our listeners as
well, including previous guest Nina McGrath, horse for Cathay
Pacific. And she said it's basically
illegal. And I say sue me because I don't
think it's illegal. And you guys can back me up on
this. We have a mic in the room, I
think. I think when you're you're
paying for a flight ticket, you're entitled to the blanket
and the pillow. So everything removable?
Everything removable. Entitled.
Yes, Exactly. Yeah, and we have someone who
also works for cafe as well. Yeah.
Guarantee. Yes.
Do you guys remember like Cathay used to have those stone yin and
Yang salt and pepper shakers that everybody got to use in?
The economy. Yeah, they don't have them
anymore because everyone kept stealing them and it cost Cathay
Pacific so much money every year.
Thank you. OK.
Yeah. So, but you're not saying that
we shouldn't have stolen it or just you're saying that if they
made a bad decision? That's an inconvenience on their
part. I mean like when you go to the
bank and you have to stuff, that pen is attached to the wall,
right? They could have attached that
salt and pepper shaker to the seat.
They didn't. That was their problem.
You know, and also the answer is I don't really steal from Cathay
because I can't afford them anymore.
So I I steal from other airlines that I can't afford.
So Cathy would actually say you should do that.
Yes, exactly. That's what I said on the
episode as well. They should actually let me
steal them so, you know, I can advertise them a little bit on
the podcast. I can't even afford them.
All right, Emily. We, we would take all the
blankets all the time. Yeah.
Never thinking twice, right. We thought, hey, maybe it's a
freebie. And my dad loves those blankets
because he likes putting them on when we watch TV.
Yes, they're really good quality most of the time.
Yeah And how much is like like all the flights, especially
after COVID got like the the prices went up.
I have no shame about stealing them.
Also, they're great for the beach as well.
If you like sit down like a beach.
No seriously like a beach towel kind of thing.
Yeah, I have like 6, but I'm selling them after show.
That's our merchandise. This is also a planned question.
Wait, it's not just blankets? I also found out when I was at
my parents house when I was looking for spoons in the
drawer. Oh.
Cafe, All the spoons. Yeah, that used to be one of my
jokes before. Like I the joke was how people
asked me how do I decorate my house to make more Indian.
And I was like, make sure the blankets are British Airways.
It has to be Cathay. That's authentic.
It was like Thai Airways. Like, that's not Indian, dude.
We don't think that stuff. Yeah, but no, you're correct.
However, this is another thing I can suggest to all the travel
agents by like trip.com, stuff like that.
You know how you can. Have like for 1000 something you
could cancellation, add in a 300, you can have this kind of
thing have another one that says $100 more.
You can keep everything on the plane.
Yeah, right. People pay for that like I have
this little. Pay on my ticket.
You are getting someone who literally works for them, does
that advertising, and he's applauding your yeah, your idea.
So that's good. Because if it's on your ticket,
you know that it has a little sign that says, you know, you
are entitled to the stuff. Yes, you can pay.
Look at the ticket. Yeah.
And just do that. What will happen is you will
then ask for the extra blanket. Use one blanket.
Keep the an open blanket, take it home, put it on carousel.
Sell that for 120 bucks. Right.
It's such a Hong Kong style. Yeah, you're like, you're gonna
use one and then get a new one and sell it on carousel.
When you go buy new shoes, Yes. You try those shoes.
Yeah. Then you ask them for new ones,
don't you? Oh, yeah, it's true.
Exactly. OK, good.
Right. Exactly.
Why would you use the used shoes?
Yeah, Karen. We we actually interviewed the
CEO once and asked what the weirdest thing was stolen from a
Cathay flight. And more than once, someone has
stolen the life jacket that. Is crazy.
Oh, turn on. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right over there. So upwards, yeah, upwards,
upwards. Yes.
When it's green, yeah. There we go.
Yeah. Go Hello, hello Cassie here Of
course I have a delinquent story about stealing a life jacket.
Please, please the the the boat to the jumbo restaurant.
I got really drunk at the jumbo restaurant and then I came back
and I showed up back home when I was 15.
My mom was like, why are you wearing a life jacket?
I was like, that would be funny, just.
Stole the life jacket from the jumbo restaurant that doesn't
move. Yeah, that is amazing.
And it's actually that is way funnier than you guys think.
That's really fucking funny. It's going to a restaurant that
doesn't leave. Yeah, but have a life jacket
that is nice brand, Cassie. Yeah, it's very on brand.
Actually that like later, obviously that restaurant
drowned, sunk. That could have used maybe some
life jacket. The irony.
However, I would love to see like, let's say some parents
take their kids to swimming and they actually have the Kathy a
life jacket on while they're trying to swim.
That is like, that is another level that yeah, man, you know.
This one is for both of us. What is your latest Hong Kong
pet peeve? Hong Kong pet peeve.
The latest one. Let me just think.
Actually there's so many I'm trying to think.
What I can go, I'm just going to go full racist and say mainland
tourist. That's it.
Like I'm sorry, that's a problem because I live in Taiping Shan
like that, like 1 little cute St. and we should have some sort
of racial profiling situation. This is not because people are
just coming. They're not even like using like
the coffee shops or whatever, which are like overpriced and
hipster. I don't care about that.
But it's the fact that people are taking photos of absolute
fucking nonsense. People are taking photos of just
like, like a basketball court for no reason.
It's just a basketball court has been there for like 200 years
and then suddenly people are just standing in front of it.
Like kids are playing. And then the bloggers from Sha
Hong Shu are standing in the middle of the basketball court
and having a fucking What is it called?
It's the same pose. It's always.
The same pose, either it's a selfie stick or a drone.
And it's like a lot of it is, it's a very old neighborhood and
there's some like whatever graffiti, but it's really not
special. I live there.
It's not special at all. It's also like people take
photos of my building and my building has a shitty paint job
that actually was never finished and people think it's like cool
and authentic. I'm like, no, it's a government
scam because the contractor actually just like kept delaying
the paint job until the government just fired them and
they immediately just stopped the paint job.
So my building is half, half painted and people think it's
like cool and like artsy artsy. I'm like, no, it's just a bad
paint job. So like, yeah, mainland tourists
in my neighborhood. Not a fan.
Now, let me ask you this, like you know how sometimes people
say, oh, I can't see the color? I don't see the difference in
color and everything. If someone sees a bunch of
Chinese people and they're like, I can't see the difference, is
that racist? I.
Don't know, Ask the Chinese people.
Don't look at me. I can't tell who's Chinese I
tell people to me. Right?
I think my pet peeve recently would be people still using the
little tissue paper to push the door handles to avoid the.
I don't want any contact. But then they never keep track
of which side of the tissue paper they use.
So like, they keep flipping around, like, yeah, but isn't
this the bad side that used? OK, Doesn't.
I guess that's the thing. OK, sure.
Whatever. You know?
Yeah, that there's a lot because in my building, there's a few
people who are like, you know, when they see you open the door,
they're like, oh, thank God I don't have to touch that door.
Oh, God. You know, Like it used to be
just. I'm lazy now it's like, I don't
want to get germs. That's right, you know.
Does anyone have fat peeves in the room as well that?
Hong Kong peeves Recent Hong Kong peeves, Yeah.
Yeah, we have one all the way in the back from the bar if you
guys pass the I'll. Pass the mic real quick, Real
quick. Yeah, yeah, we'll pass the mic.
And we have a couple more. Mine kind of Jimmy bartender.
Yeah, Mine kind of mimics Mohammed.
It's the tourists standing on the escalator to mid levels on
the left hand side. Yes.
And then you happen to to get past.
Yeah, that's that. Yeah, that's a big problem.
Yeah. Actually, I can't really fold
them too much for that because I take my dog for like a longer
walk through IFC and then we go back on the mid level escalator
and she stands on the left side and I try to grab her.
It looks like I'm abusing my dog.
Yeah, but then I have to explain to people that she's from
Shanghai. She doesn't know her.
Side Yeah, yeah, she thinks that.
She she's on the right side. Poor thing.
All right. All right, we have something you
have had to edit out of an episode.
Oh wait, no, it's always going to be some guest who asked.
For some, yes. It's never anything that we have
said that we're like, oh, we shouldn't have said that.
It's usually a guest. Yeah, that doesn't happen to
often. Obviously if you listen
regularly, you'll know that it's all just one straight shot and
it's not because we're amazing at interviewing.
It's just out of pure laziness. Yeah, that we just want to do
the episode that one shot and not had to edit anything.
Yeah, but I think a couple of people.
Yeah, Flat iron Johnny required a little bit adjustments.
Over there, he required a little bit of adjustment.
There was a previous guest I'm going to.
Try the dog rescue lady. OK, you're just going for the
names. I was going to say like, which?
There's a previous guest I'm dancing around.
He's like, no, just talking. OK, you go ahead.
I forget, like I forget what it was, but she was going on about
certain things and would finish it and then suddenly say, oh,
you know what? Actually, maybe not.
Let's not have that. Yes.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To the point. Then we we did one episode where
we actually, I believe, used my little gadget to change her
voice on the recording. So that one like people who are
like hardcore listeners, maybe three years ago there was an
incident in well, not an incident, it's a it's a killing
in Lama of a guy who killed, yes.
So yeah, the taxi driver killer, right.
And he got caught on Lama Island and he got caught because of a
lady who was like an older English lady who lives on
llamas, like one of the slama old timey.
She came on the podcast and told the entire story of meeting him,
calling the, calling the police and eventually him getting
arrested. But she actually didn't want to
use her real name or she did use her real first name, but she
didn't want to use her voice. So actually changed her voice
for the whole episode. And she's out like, but it's a
great story if you want to go back to, I don't know what
episode number is it, but it's a great story of because she is
literally the reason he got arrested.
And she was drinking with him for like 4-5 hours while she
called the cops and tried to make sure that he doesn't go
away and he does not suspect the thing until the cops actually
came. But yeah, we she needed a little
bit of adjustment. Right.
Because while she was telling the source, like, I don't think
that's what happened. I'm like, I don't think he's
going to listen to the episode. So don't worry about it.
Yeah, there's. No Wi-Fi in jail.
It's Hong Kong. Maybe they don't.
That's true. Yeah, maybe.
They do. There's also someone who was the
MD of a famous bakery. I'm not going to say the name
the. Good one the good one the.
Famous bakery. Let's leave it there.
But I had I told him on the podcast that hey, I don't like
the like the bakery is great. The coffee is not good and he
got very uncomfortable and then he asked me to he asked to edit
it out later. Not going to mention names.
So who knows which bakery. But then off air he was like
actions, yes. And off air is like, yeah, we
shouldn't be talking about the the product.
That's not great. I'm like, yeah, but your coffee
is shit. He's like, no comment.
Yeah, exactly. He didn't want that on the on
the episode. Not too many though.
Actually, good thing is that he does not work for them anymore.
But still we're not going to mention which one.
Yeah, in case. Yeah.
OK, yeah, let's go to this one. What was your favorite?
Oh, that's fine. I'm not going to answer that
honestly. Who was your favorite slash?
Worst guest favorite? Slash Obviously Ben Cowling, the
professor. Was the favorite one.
He's actually raising his hand in the back and he's like, of
course, the Chatsworth Ben have been absolutely fantastic.
Worst guest. I don't know about that.
I I'm not comfortable. I definitely have.
Yeah, Cassie's raising her hand. Oh yes, you are right.
And you are fucking yes, it's Nuri Vitachi.
How could you forget the Nuri episode?
Yeah, I forgot because I Vivek wasn't there was Andy and me who
was actually interviewed him in this bar here.
And yeah, we interviewed Nuri Vitachi again, older episode if
you go back and listen to it. And I where is he?
I don't. I think he's like, he
disappeared, right? Well, he blocked me on Facebook.
Oh. OK, yes, as he should.
I also blocked you. I made my whole group comment OK
Boomer on every single one of us and yeah he blocked us all and
he said that we were being ageist.
Apparently that's actually the only episode I don't think as
I've ever gotten angry on record on the episode for about
anything. And he's the only one who got me
visibly angry because he would just do this thing when we any
and it's kind of a serious interview about like his book
and you know, his all about the protests and all of that.
And he would just like we tried to talk to him about something
and he would just completely deflected and make it.
Oh, what about like the Americans doing this to the
Pakistanis? Like that's nothing to do with
what I'm saying. And that went on for like a few
minutes until I got like really upset.
I'm like, because you're just underestimating my intelligence.
You're just answering stuff that has nothing to do with anything.
You're doing this. What about his thing?
And he just wouldn't back down. And yeah, I got mad at him.
I remember you might have to edit this out of the episode,
but I remember the exact exact thing that he said.
He you, you were talking about the the incident in China that
we don't mention. Yes.
And he said, I do go to the vigil, but I light a candle for
the soldiers. Oh yeah, that's.
True yourself. Across the table, yes.
Yeah, I think Andy had to physically block me from
throwing something at him, so definitely worst.
Guess you're right, I might have blocked it from PTSD from my
memory. The rest of the question is, did
you ever have to slash think about not releasing an episode?
No, we've, we've always released it because like we're not going
to re record it, not out of respect for the recording.
It's like I'm not doing another hour, man.
I don't, I think there was one, but it's not because of the
content. It's actually because he forgot
to press record, price record. Yeah, but I think we had a
backup on the phone and we ended up releasing like a bad audio
episode. That's the only the reason why
we thought about not releasing it, because it was just bad
audio episode, but it wasn't because of the content.
No, I don't think we've ever gone through a whole episode be
like, man, that was not good, man.
We are in trouble. I think we maybe Harry Harrisons
episode. We did go through it a couple of
times to make sure that it's like above board.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. She's OK with it, yes, yeah.
But OK with it at most maybe 10 minutes into it where we don't
have a good start, but we're not vibing in that sense that, you
know, it's not really funny. We don't need where we're going.
We're messing up a lot. But we might just redo that 10
minutes. But once we enter the 20 minute
mark, then we're just like free flowing.
We're surfing on the oceans, going with whatever.
Goes yeah, Harry is the cartoonist for the SCMP.
Great guy, has been here forever and he also has an episode on
the podcast that you, if you haven't listened, highly
recommended. All right, do we have?
Oh, that's it everyone. Yeah, yeah.
That's all the questions we have.
Well, technically we actually prepared a few more games to do,
but we can go into the Patreon episode for that one.
Let's do a little bit more. I'm having a lot of fun.
You guys having fun? Yeah.
All right, perfect. Let's do we have about 8 minutes
of the free episode, then we can continue with the spicier 1.
OK OK for the Patreon. So the other the other topic
we're thinking about is the game called a newlywed game, where
basically. This is where we both Vivek and
I come out on the. 200 Yeah, exactly what I actually.
As we're we're married exactly. Yeah, I convinced them so I can
have 1 1/2 apartments in Hong. Kong Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to take half of it. Do they know that wasn't the
marriage agreement? That was a prenup agreement?
The God damn it, yeah. Yeah.
So the idea is that you can ask a question and we have to
immediately respond thinking who is the person appropriate that
question. In other words, for example,
like who is who? Who is the one who's always late
to the recordings, right. Or are late to whatever.
And then we would I, if it's Vivek, if like I think it's me,
I would use the V sign in my hand.
So I listen as you can't really see it, but you know, we'll
explain the drum. If it's Muhammad, then I do the
M sign downwards like that. Yeah.
So the moment you ask it, we got immediately after 2 seconds put
our hands up and tell us what we think is the correct.
Person, I think for for the for just to make it a bit quicker.
People can do it without the mic, and then we can, yeah.
Yeah, you just shout it out. You.
Can just shout that question. Yeah, right.
So basically, who is more or who is less something, Yeah.
So usually, like quick, yeah, newlyweds though that who takes
longer to get ready, I think yeah, right.
Yeah, yeah. There's a reason I don't.
But you can also make them as weird and awkward as possible
as. Awkward.
We love that. Yeah.
Any weird thing, just ask it and we have to immediately it as
fast as possible. Give the the answer the V or the
M Yeah. OK.
And you are? Yeah, you don't need the mic for
that. You can just shout it out.
Don't be shy. Decided what is the thing?
Better comedian, right? There, man, we both.
So the question was who's a better comedian?
And both of us did video. He has been, he's been around
for longer. He performs in two languages.
I mean, he's OK in both languages.
But it adds up. You see 0.50.5.
It's very good in English and he's OK in two languages, so I
think he wins. That's the thing, it's a
mathematical thing. I never wanted to do 2
languages, but I want to be mediocre twice, Yes, Correct.
Right. So I'm actually doing the same
joke in two languages. ROI people, right?
And also Gary never defined. What does he mean by better?
You got it like it could be a. Lot it's up to.
Us, I think it's up to us, but yeah, so.
I think on yeah, total, I think you're better in two language
just because the merit of language.
Yeah, merit of language. I think also just as you said,
the duration longer on top of that, the number of gigs I do,
the types of gigs I've done, I would say I, I I'm not trying to
my own home, but like I'm like at least if you threw me in a
random gig, chances I've done something similar to it.
Therefore, I'll figure it. Out there is a lot of like,
there is almost no scenario where I get like a strange kind
of gig the first time that he doesn't have a story already.
I told him one time and that was on the podcast as well as like,
oh, I was at this gig and John Lee was there.
He's like, yeah, I performed for all of them like him and Kay
with the same gig. I'm like, what the fuck?
Who are you? I'm.
Like you. Never mentioned it.
Yeah, I'm like a gig. I did.
I went home and watched TV and went to sleep.
Yeah, about it. Yeah, yeah.
I mean, one, I've been talking about it for a month.
Yeah. I met John Lee is like, yeah.
It's bizarre, man. I'll tell you the the gig was
basically with John Lee's gig is it was the 20th anniversary of
the Hong Kong Science Park and I was one of the Co MCS.
Now there are certain government protocols when you do rehearsals
now you go there a day before rehearsals.
You can't make a mistake. There's like no tolerance or
errors and when you're announcing during rehearsal
time, you cannot call out his name.
The security is you cannot let people know that he will be
there. So you have to just say, please
welcome our Goh government official kind of like that, you
know, so or guest of honor, stuff like that.
And you have to keep using that during rehearsal.
The problem is you muscle memory it into your mouth that you
think that is the thing to say. And now you're freaking out when
the real thing happens. You're like don't say Jewish,
don't say Jewish. Oh my God, don't say Jewish.
And the weirdest thing is, like this person I'm about to
announce, I have to make sure I don't make a mistake because if
I make the mistake, he could do a lot of things to me.
The irony is that it was a Cantonese gig.
Me and this other MC called Sarika, we both don't look
Chinese and he we go up there do is do the MC in Cantonese da da
da da and John John whatever. All right, take it.
Easy, GOH decide. You know, John has to go up
there and, you know, do his welcoming speech.
His opening thing was like, see, Hong Kong is attracting so much
new foreign talent. Even a foreign talent can speak
fluent Cantonese. That was literally the opening
line. Now everyone in the youngsters
like that, so that makes a lot. They all knew I speak fluent
Cantonese. They hired me because I speak
fluent Cantonese. But he said.
So you have to agree. Like, yeah, it's true that
devil. And then the best thing is, like
the chairman of a science part he doesn't listen to, This is
fine. He goes.
He. Goes up and he looks at me as
like, ABI, your Cantonese has improved.
I'm like, dude, what? I've done so many gigs with you
guys. You know, I think, OK, whatever,
fine. I'm like, yeah, everyday
practice, you know, I'm doing, like, thanks to you, yeah.
Yeah, you can't correct him from there.
That was the best thing you. Do I can't be like, ever?
You know what the fight thing is like After John finished his
speech about the whole thing about upcoming my Cantonese, I
would have like, oh, thank you for the compliment.
Your candy is also pretty good. Nobody.
No one.
Loud. No one.
Oh my. God, they're like.
Killer Lion, come on. Everyone's like, what would you
compliment? Of course, he's our chief
executive. Why would he not have good
Cantonese, his mandarins? But you know, I got to do I have
to say it. I'm sorry.
It's it's right there. Yeah.
So yeah, it's right there. A good example of it, him
saying, oh, John D's going to be there.
I'm like, Andy, what's the problem?
Yeah, just be careful. Don't.
Say, yeah, I just roasted him last week.
Come. On Yeah, what the hell?
Yeah, that's. Right.
We do a couple more. Who is?
Yeah, yeah. The The Newlywed game Mohammed.
Vivek Newlywed. Yeah, exactly.
I've. Store that anything you want to
know between us? Like who is he?
Well, what? Who?
Is bombed. More on.
Stage, I think again by duration more it's yeah.
Yeah, I would say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree as well.
Yeah, because I was like, I was like.
There's a sheer number of probability.
Yeah, statistical what percentage wise you know, even
if it was same 2%, but if I've done 100 gig versus like you do
50, yes, yes by that nature, yeah, I've done, I've done
enough bomb gigs before put aside.
Actually, funny enough, that was going to be on the Patreon.
Yeah. Hey, we can touch on that a
little bit. We will talk a bit about that
when there is one ultimate bomb that I did, which we'll talk
about on Patreon. However, bomb gigs I've done
where the audience is all drunk, I've had OK, I'll tell you this
one is I did a Chinese banquet at Cordis Hotel in Langham
place. I I know it's precisely because
what happens? I told them OK, by the way, the
the rule is that when I'm performing, you cannot be had
had to guess eating become eating.
They'll be distracted, right. So I go up there to Kathy's gig,
the embassy. I'll be right.
I go up there, I say like one sentence and they turn off the
lights. And I thought, did we just lose
electricity? What's going on?
And the whole room starts going red colour.
I'm like, this is a fire drill. What's going on, right?
It's a Chinese banquet. The first dish is suckling pig.
And very often the suckling pig has those flashy red blinky
things on their eyes. The waitstaff start coming out
into the ballroom, right? One by one for every table.
They go stand next to the table and they don't serve the
suckling pig. Everyone is saying like, give
me. And they're like, no, we can't
serve it to you until he finishes his show.
So you're standing in between people's they enjoyment of.
Something on the menu. They haven't eaten yet.
They're hungry and they can't. They're standing next to them on
the table, but they can't serve it because you can't eat it.
And so therefore everyone's now turning, looking at me, going
like, shut the fuck up. You done.
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
Let's go. Right?
Yes. Yes.
And so I asked the organizer, hey, I told you, you can't.
You can't be eating. They're like, yeah, you never
said you can't serve the food. You said they can't eat it.
So mind, you rule, honestly, I tell people, like, food cannot
move during my set, OK, whether it's from the kitchen to the
table, table to their mouth, at best from their mouth into their
stomach, I can accept that. But other than that, it's not
moving. Right.
So that's the thing. And that was one of the Baggies
where I was like, what the hell, man?
Like, I'm dead. I have 15 minutes of just pure
death where the whole audience is like, I hate you.
Shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So. Yeah, for sure.
One last one before we wrap this up.
Shout it out. What it?
Is shout it out? Yeah.
Anyone. Don't be shy.
Whatever you're curious about. Come on.
They're all thinking that. Like, what should we ask them
this? Yeah.
It's such a we can actually ask them back.
This is such a legit Hong Kong way to I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking like I want to
ask, but I want to ask. If you ask, I know you ask.
Yeah, we have exactly 1 minute. We have one minute.
Just throw it out there. Don't be shy.
If there's one thing you want to see, compare the two of them.
Whoa. Oh, I think it's.
Dude for sure I would say. It would be me.
Because he used to be in the Putongwa world.
Yeah, I wasn't. Yeah, I used to be in Putongwa.
That sounds racist. I used to be in the Putongwa
world. Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
You're just. Yes, exactly.
There you go. Still are.
Yes. Let's end on this lovely note.
Where we. Fuck sake.
Yeah. So we have to end it up to
slowly fade in. The ending is that are we
ending? Yeah, well, no, we'll say.
It Yeah. Yeah.
So we still are. Yeah, I think because of how
long I've lived there and you never had to use it at all.
No, growing up here in Hong Kong, I mean back then, nobody
really had to learn Mandarin. It was all Cantonese.
They were trying to learn English if anything, right?
No one actually put any preference and effort into
Mandarin back then, hence why I had that issue.
And again, the running joke is I can do 9 tones but not 4 tones.
That's my brain. 4 tones too easy, don't want to waste my
time. 9 tones start dancing right?
So there's that as well. But yeah, I I believe that it
will be eventually. And definitely Mohammed has
better Mandarin. However, his Mandarin is pretty
shit too. That is called you.
My level must be so bad. Yes, exactly.
But yes, I am. I am the better Mandarin
speaker. Yeah.
Thanks everyone for coming to this.
This is a lot of fun. Yeah.
So this is our 200th episode of Hong Kong.
We do have some stuff planned for the next a few 100.
Let's see however many we have left before this eventually gets
shut down by the wayside note. Maybe we can cut this, but
people still ask me about that one episode.
Then they are amazed that we did not get in trouble because of
it. If you don't know what episode
is it, you can tell you offline because I don't want to bring it
up again, but there is an episode where I genuinely
thought were done after this and we survived.
I know, I think I know you don't.
Yeah, yeah. So again, a.
Guest interview one. Right, a guest interview.
There was a particular guest that was very spicy for Hong
Hong Kong, especially at the time.
But yeah, the fact that we made it past that and we're still
here is thanks to all of you guys.
Supporter give it up for all the Patreon people as well.
Supporting us Patreon is very easy way to support a podcast.
It's five U.S. dollars a month or 20 if you're generous, and we
do a bonus content and it's just a fun way to support us.
Everything that you're seeing now in person Patreon, you can
look at your own, where your money went.
It's all the equipment. Actually, we bought it with
Patreon money. So it's a very cool and we're
also building a podcast studio at one of his many apartments.
We actually built it all with Patriot money.
The only thing that is left is scammers, right?
Exactly. That's what we're lacking.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's it. So we're going to also move to a
video podcast from hopefully early next year.
Thanks to all of you guys too. Thank you so much.
We're Ho Hong Kong outro. There you go.
Let's go. None.
Music.