So I reiterate here, the bill is dead.
The story of this great city is about the years before this
night. Hey everyone, this is Ho Ho Hong
Kong with me, Vivek Number money and my cause Who is?
It sounded like the start of an alarm.
It's like a raid. Yeah, exactly.
I'm like, man, that sounds terrifying.
Yeah, The best thing is that it's come from two of us.
Yeah, they're like, that makes total sense.
Yeah, I'm Mohammed Magdi, sitting here, beautiful that
afternoon. Whether sunny we're high up on.
We made it. Yeah, we're on the 19th floor.
We still don't have live video just yet.
Yeah, we're not doing that as yet.
It's still. No, this is coming up quite
soon. But we're we're not on the
floor. We're not on the floor.
We're sitting on a chair on a nice fancy table.
Fancy ass table. Oh my God, I wish you guys can
see this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a nice little solid wood table, which I've always wanted
to have as sitting on a shitty Kia chairs.
You know, because the idea. Is just life.
That's just life. Exactly.
No. The idea was like, where are
they going to be looking? They put all the money into
where they're looking and ignore where they're sitting.
Their comfort is not my priority for my budget.
But that also doesn't really make sense because you hate
guests as well. You don't want anyone to come
here. That's the thing.
So I've actually look again for anybody who knows my entrance to
outside the lift. I make it a point to make it
like what? Huh.
I want the double take because it's like you better really want
to be here. Otherwise, don't show up.
But secondly, but if you do show up and you persevere and you get
into the house, I'm like, OK, yeah, you.
Deserve. In here.
You deserve to enjoy this now. But until then I don't want none
of this. Like just thought I'll just drop
by. There's no dropping by.
There's no drop. Yeah.
There's no job by, man. Like, I think.
I think that's what I tell people.
Like they a lot of times when I go to schools and everything,
like, oh, you're such a nice guy.
I'm like, no, like, you're missing the point.
I'm nice when I'm doing my work, right?
I'm happy to be at your school. Yeah.
But when I'm at home, I'm like, buddy, I'm not welcoming nobody,
right? Right.
I'll be very friendly to you when I'm on the streets and I'm
not faking it. But once I'm home, I'm like you
better. This is your space.
Yeah, this is my space and you better earn it to be my space.
Yeah, it's one of those Weird. When you did earn this space,
it's quite nice. And yeah, no, none of our
listeners will ever see it. Yeah, that's why you have to.
Describe to them. I mean, the best thing is that
when we do the video podcast thing, it'll literally be in the
one corner, small room. And you're like that that that
was like, shit, I'm like, that's the point.
I mean honestly, in Hong Kong, to have a dedicated podcast
studio room that is like ultimately I don't even know
what is more luxurious than. Right.
I know. I mean, I look, I have that that
little one, what we call in the Zen room.
It's going to be a combination of #1, the podcast room.
Yeah, it's going to be a combination of my writing room.
It's going to be a combination of a guest bedroom, should that
ever happen. Yeah, I don't think that would
that would happen. So when Jason is coming and
Jason Young when he comes to Hong Kong.
He's going to staying. He's staying in this room.
Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to quickly get everything
put together so you can at least have a bed there, You know,
amazing. Yeah, yeah, so.
That was the two cameras pointing at him.
Like, this is weird. I'm like, just want to make sure
you're safe, buddy. Yeah, just making sure you do
some hanky panky. Baby monitor there.
Yeah, right. Jason, are you OK?
Yeah. Exactly.
Like a breastfeeding bottle. Just for the sake of yeah.
No, no, no. So yeah, all that stuff's coming
together last night, oddly enough.
Yeah, I know this is one of the boring things I do.
I actually, I redid some of the cabling because I was like so
picky. I'm like you're.
So tinkery as well. It would be quite annoying to
see you like at midnight you're like just pulling up every wire
from. The wall.
It's ridiculous, man. Like, literally last night, if
you see on the floor in my kitchen, you'll see a bunch of,
like, leftover wires that have cut off and everything.
I redid them. I'm like, yeah, no, I don't
trust what they've done. I want to make sure I touch my
thing. It's just stupid stuff.
That can get quite like bad though, because like, you know,
you can go down a rabbit hole. It's like, you know, you fuck
up, like under arrangement and the next thing has to be
arranged. Yeah, the next thing you know is
the whole house. Is.
Man, like, dude, let me tell you this, The one rabbit hole you
can have is buying furniture that can get you, man.
You go to, like for example, this table.
I went out to get the table. I see a stand.
I'm like, that's a nice stand. Yeah.
I'm like, I just on say, Oh my God, it's so good.
I'm like, oh, I'm going to hate myself, but I'm going to regret
it, you know, just stupid stuff. And I'm telling man, later on
when I have my little piece at the entrance way, when you see
it, you learn some I'm talking about and you'll describe it
when it. Happens the entrance actually
that we can take photo and post it for our listeners.
Yeah, yeah, we can do it later. Yeah, it's not there yet.
Yeah, the items not there. It's like 8 more weeks to go.
Right. Oh wow, you're having it custom
made. It's no it's not really custom
made, but it has to be shipped over.
Right, right. Yeah.
OK. So it's one of the things that
the shipping is a slow thing. Like you take your time and you
know, yeah, it's going to be worth it.
I'm telling you, man, like I'm extremely confident to the point
I'm like whatever thing you're thinking, raise it up to another
higher level. You're like, God damn dude.
Like I'm checking like when I saw this item, I'm like, God
damn, this is it. This is the one, man.
Amazing. Yeah.
All right. So for everyone who's still
anticipating, please go ahead and dream and imagine and
hopefully with the day will come when we post.
Yeah, we, yeah, exactly that. Might be around the time when we
are doing video as well, so it could be all all in one go.
Anyways. Yeah.
For, for us here, this is actually the end of the first
week we started the residency at Lips at the Hyatt and what a
week. It's it's very you haven't done
it yet but it's very different. You know, that's I think it's
one cool thing about the what we do is that like you can always
have something completely new and you're like, oh, I did not
know we can do it this way or like the the shows can be this
way. And for us, like obviously a lot
of us have done like shows back-to-back before.
But to be going back to same place every night for five
nights, I also have like half the like the duration of the
show. These shows are very short.
They're 45 minutes. And something is quite exciting
about that because you're like, oh, I'm on stage.
I am like the only constant on stage.
And everything else around me is very.
It's like changing every day. Yeah.
So the audience, like most of the audience, are either like
fancy people coming for, like, nice cocktails or hotel guests.
Yeah. So you feel like just like a
Vegas entertainer. Yeah.
It's actually a really cool.
Experience. Hey guys, we're back.
Who's Who's coming in hunting for this time?
Yeah, this gentleman over here understands what I'm.
Talking about, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
And actually, there is also, like I caught myself saying,
like, you know, this is a a full program.
They didn't even tell me to do that.
But I'm like, you know, there is band afterwards.
There's magic. It's like a full program.
Yeah. Yeah.
But you have done like cruise
ships as well when you're just part of a program, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Because I'm used to like being the main program.
Yeah, exactly. I have the program.
Yeah, yeah. You're just one of many.
You go there, do your thing, get out, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Like with cruise ships, what happens is, so I normally do the
big theaters, OK? That's usually one big show per
night, or maybe two shows, but same show in the same night,
right? However, yes, you have a full
day of program. So for example, let's say 2:00
PM they'll have the balloon guy playing that balloon guy with.
The balloon guy. I have the balloon guy, yeah.
Then you have that, like during the daytime for the kids and
probably like 6:00 PM they have something like lounge music,
jazz thing, because people will dress differently.
They will live. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
How much like, how much clothes do you pack for Christmas?
I mean, like you Just like, for me, I would just take like the
lightest things because I'm like, no, no one gives a shit.
You will be surprised. OK, so let me explain to you on
the cruise ships every other night or something.
They might have different themes and the theme will go to the
buffet and everything. Like tonight's theme is
Oriental. Yeah, they actually say that
Oriental and like you. If you're on a cruise ship, PC
culture is out of the. Way out of the way, because
they're. Literally international water.
Yeah, you can't. Yeah, you.
Can't get in trouble. You know?
The craziest thing is that I remember going there and I was
on the same cruise line for two weeks.
In other words, I did one week, I got out for a day and I went
back on again. It's the same exact destinations
and everything, just different audience, which means the whole
program is identical. Oh boy.
The food on the menu is everything identical.
The decoration is identical. Everything.
So I literally see the same thing twice.
And you would see them. And the weird thing is that
people, before they get on as mostly white people, right?
For this one. And I remember is that the first
time coming to Asia. OK, so this bunch of white older
people who've never been to Asia before now, you're gonna, like,
shatter every step, every idea they had about Asia.
They're like Dragons, tigers, and they're like lanterns and
stuff again. So we get into, I believe
somewhere in China and of course they are allowed to go for the
excursions outside and to welcome them.
They obviously have lion dance like this is not real amazing.
This is not the. Idea.
And for them, they're like, yeah, it's exactly what I
thought it. Exactly.
Isn't this the way you were welcomed over here?
You know, I'm like, dude, no, you don't get there's.
Like a Tai Chi master in the background, this feels like a
whole fake. Exactly like.
Shit, I'm like, you don't have whatever right now.
So then you step out a little bit more.
Yeah. You just see, like the smoking
uncle. Yeah, that's a real time.
Exactly. I'm like, yeah, now you go, but
I'll see that, like the excursion this way.
The excursion's this way, So it's.
Very protected. Very.
Protected, you know. Oh my God, yeah.
It's. I get it.
I understand. It's like, it's basically like
they put a package together just to entertain you.
Whatever, who cares, right? And so you have that.
Then on the cruise ship sometimes you might have like
oriental theme day still. Oriental.
You'll have some of that, you know and like you'll have
Mandarin, like the orange chicken and lemon chicken.
I'm like this is not what? This is not even real Chinese
food. But you have to remember, you
are entertaining a bunch of Americans who are like 60 years
old, right? So telling them that you know
Chasu Pao, they're like, the hell is this not Chinese?
It's not Chinese. It's not Chinese.
Yeah, so you're literally taking a bunch of people to Asia, but
showing them their version of Asia to satisfy them so they
feel like they've seen the real Asia, which doesn't shatter
their dreams. Yep.
One of the most successful restaurants in Shanghai when I
was living there was called Fortune Cookie.
The Shanghai heads listening would immediately like have a
smile on their face. It was one of the most
successful restaurants amongst the expat community and it was
American Chinese food. Of course.
So it was just like it was called fortune cookie.
It was like on the nose, but I it was good.
Like I actually, I didn't grow up with American Chinese food.
I I like I didn't grow up with any Chinese food.
So my introduction to Chinese food was in China.
So I know what Chinese food is. But actually I also, you know
I'm a neutral I'm, I have no dog in the race.
I would go there and eat and like the food too.
I'm like this is good food but the Americans would go nuts for
it. And I knew Americans who would
not touch Chinese food, only fortune cookie.
Yeah, they're like that's the. Yeah, that's the real deal.
It's. Such a bizarre.
Thing. I mean, I get it.
It's like, you know, you go to, let's say, Italy.
Oh, they would do also the fortune cookie thing, just like
the. Movie.
Of course. Yeah.
It's so stupid, right? We're like, yeah, she's like,
oh, Luke Confucius, Then I'm like, no, he doesn't.
Confucius. 10% service charge, Confucius.
They tip your weights that it's like, Oh my God, really?
We're doing this? But yeah.
Oh, absolutely, man. Like I that's what opened my
mind. And I was like, oh, you're
right, you know what? And that kind of made me think
like, yeah, they're happy, Yeah. Why are you trying to change
their world? Their world is fine.
They're really not actually interested in seeing the real
world. They're like this interesting
their world. And I'm like, yeah, that's very,
I'm sure when I'm 60, I have no interest in anything new.
Yeah, I mean, that is the crazy part.
I think. Who was it?
Some comedian was saying like, everyone starts liberal and then
slowly you just start like, it's not even about tolerance or
anything. It's just about like, oh, I just
want to do my thing. Yeah, yeah, stop and.
Also like because the you know, the younger people have more
tolerance to like like change right?
Which is fine. But at some point like you are
as an older person, you just stop learning.
Like, you stop. You know, you can force yourself
to, like, accept stuff, but at some point, like, you know, it
sounds very silly, but like the whole thing is like, Oh no, my
gender is this and that. I'm like, I kind of respect
that, yeah. But I'm also, I'm struggling to
remember. Yeah, yeah, the.
Things that you're. Yeah, it's regressing too much,
man. Yeah, yeah, I play this way.
It's like, same with comedians. Like, initially, you like, I
just want to write jokes. I'll try this.
I'll try that. That's why, like, I just want to
do my show. Like, I don't get it.
Like, I don't need to be. Like, what about we do an act
together? No, I'm on my own, dude.
Yeah. Yeah, that actually goes back to
lips. So that's actually what really
One really good thing about it is that you can just go up.
We have full creative control over what happens in the comedy
segment, and so far we're just running it as like showcases,
like mini showcases. But that's great for the
comments, 'cause it's exactly what you're saying.
You just go up, do your set, leave the end.
You will have an audience. Small or big, you will have an
audience. You'll get paid a certain
amount. It's the same every night.
You can grab a drink for free if you want, and that's the end of
it. Just go do your set and leave.
Yeah, it's it's like 1 very comfortable setting that you
know what you're getting. Yeah, yeah.
I don't like, that's the thing that after a while as a
comedian, you kind of get into the routine of like last night I
was at the Aftermath and I was on 1st doing 20 minutes and I
remember cuz I had work to do at home anyway, so I went down, the
show started, did my thing and I literally left after that.
And everyone did look at me like you're leaving.
I'm like, I have stuff to do, you know?
But at the scene I was like, yeah, I'm, I'm good, dude.
Like I get my set, I'm good. And I think that's what's made
me realize with like the UK scene where comics come in, do
their set and leave and they're like this makes sense.
They're. Not hanging out.
They're not hanging out at first.
I'm like, don't you want to, you know, talk a little bit?
I'm like, this makes sense because, like, you're literally
coming, like a mercenary coming in, doing the job, leaving.
I'm like, that is totally fair. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. So I.
Think, I guess it depends also on, like, the geography of the
city because some of them are like, you would travel for like
45 minutes to do a gig. So sometimes you're like, all
right, it's worth it. Like, I I'm gonna sit down and,
like, rest and have a beer, right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you are like in a city
like New York, when you can just go across the street and do
three more spots. Yeah.
Why the? Fuck, would you hang out?
Yeah, yeah, I'm working. I'm working, yeah.
Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. And that second model is what
what I'm attracted to more, which is actually now is kind of
starting to happen in a very small way with the Lips gigs
because you. Do it you get like.
Running five nights a week on top of every other gig in the
city? Which which means you are.
If you are on the Lips roster, you can actually do 2, sometimes
3 gigs a night. If you are on backstage and
takeout, you can actually do Lips Backstage takeout on the
same night. That's crazy.
Yeah, that is crazy. Yeah, I mean, so for everyone
who's listening right now, Lips is happening.
What time and how much and what's going on?
It's basically 7:30 to 7:00 to 8:15.
It's a 45 minute show on paper at 7:15, but realistically, we
start 7:30 every night and it's five nights a week from Tuesday
to Saturday. Nice.
Yeah, the deal is very simple. Like the audience, you as an
audience, you don't need to do anything.
You just buy a drink. Yeah.
It's a cocktail bar in a five
star hotel. So of course you're expected to
buy a drink. Yeah, you can buy 5 or 10 if you
want. Yeah, but you can buy drinks.
There is like they have like some finger foods and stuff and
they give you like fancy cashews and whatnot.
It's just what you expect of a five star hotel really.
And then there is a show going on and the show you don't need
to do anything, you just enjoy it.
Yeah. So there is us, as I said, there
is magic, there is a band and there's also I think towards the
end of the night or certain nights there is a DJ as well for
people who wanna party more. But it's super swanky.
It's very nice. And everything is like it's
accounted for like the the like the the, the, the lights and the
sound system in a way that like like all the entertainers like
had the had a say in it, including myself.
So I went and when they were building and actually they were
deciding on the sound and he had the idea of the surround sound
like a home theater. And that's actually what we
ended up doing. Nice.
So because the room is not very big.
Yeah. So actually there is a home
theater in the venue. My God, it's.
So good actually from stage and because there is a stage monitor
for the. For the former, for the, yeah,
for the, a musician, musician. So for the for the performer,
for the comedian on stage is not super comfortable for the first
couple of days because it's not used the monitors on.
So you think there is an echo, you think the sound's not very
clear. But once you get off and watch
another comedian on and stand in the room next to the people,
it's great. It's just performing for people
in a very big home theater. Yeah.
And yeah, light is good. Like there is also like a moving
curtain, although it's very slow.
So we don't use it because it's look.
I was like this welcome you face comedian being.
Yeah, yeah, it's so. Slow.
Like, oh, dramatic, slow, they're clapping.
Like, don't suck the ball. Yeah, it.
Literally takes a minute to open even though this phone yeah so
we don't use it just between act can we like you're welcome to
use it dude. For one night, have the music,
please. Welcome, everybody.
Put your hands together. You're in for a treat.
And you keep talking for a whole man tonight.
Oh, we have got some comedy. Do you like comedy?
If you like comedy Makes some noise, everyone.
Are you? Whenever.
Whenever you are on the first time you do that.
Dude, that would be so good. I can do like, they don't even
have notes for us. They're like, just do whatever
you want. Yeah, I think they will only
have notes if we like, drive people away.
Yeah, as long as because it's a whole they.
Don't care, they say. Give us a they don't care.
Just. Put something on stage.
Yeah, that is different. So because we can't have a band
for five hours, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you can't have magic. You can't just be a thing on.
Stage. Yeah, that's all.
I get it. They need entertainment of
certain quality where they guess and be like, oh, call me, let me
go check it out. You know, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, dude.
So yeah, I have played with. The I give a totally like I can
imagine, just literally just a minute of the old classic 70s
game show. Yeah, welcome everybody.
Tonight I understand we've got careers busy and.
You know, oh. Yeah, that's funny.
It's like, yeah, the beginning of, like a late night show like.
Yeah. Good evening everyone.
How are you doing today? We should we should have you do
it like a bunch of recordings. Oh yeah, That'd be so good,
dude. Love it, man.
And then, like, you walk out, people have to be applauding.
Yeah, come on it. Will only work if you're also
wearing a suit, right? And then it becomes like a
biggest. Show.
Yeah, like a biggest show. Like, hey, so have you been
reading the news, Bailey? I mean, come on, the general
wastage fee. Come on people, you can't use
plastic forks. What's going on?
Yeah, yeah, You pray for the local news for.
Friday and like the I said, we just got into Hong Kong today,
exactly. We're here for a conference.
Let me just say. Paper plays more like paper
shades. It's like what I mean the word
that is so confused. 20 years later, you're.
Still there? Yeah, it's like.
This guy knows what I'm talking. About.
Never met you before? I'm leaning as a piano by that
time, yeah. Yeah, exactly.
You have a stool for you. Yeah, the best thing is like,
the piano guy knows the punchline already.
Yeah, he's like playing the tune, like.
Oh, this guy plays the music to go with the joke.
Yeah. Oh man.
Have you ever taken the tram? You know what?
They call it? Over here, they call it.
Ding, Ding, Ding. Yeah, it's so stupid.
It's very stupid, but it's yeah, it's a it's a fun gig for the
comics. Like the, you know, they come
in. As I said, like we have an
audience and you know, the audience is pretty much
different every single night. Which?
Means even if you're working out a certain bit or a certain
routine, you just keep honing at it and then it just.
Now, dude, that's. Crazy.
It's very fun. So yeah, if you are, you know
if. And the cocktails.
Those are very good, obviously expensive, but they're very
good. I don't drink myself, but they
have. Also, they have an extensive
menu of no drink not. Alcohol.
Yeah, So they have ones. Like mocktails.
They hate calling it mocktails not.
Yeah, yeah. What's the term that they call
it? There's, just like non.
Alcohol. Pussy tails.
Like what's going on? You have a cocktail I love.
Pussy tails. Don't drink, but they have one
that is non alcohol. No sugar as well.
Wow. So.
Water. Is that what they're selling,
Water And no. Sugar.
No liquid. Exactly.
It's just vapor, Sir. Yeah, just vapor.
They don't have vapor like a couple of drinks are like those
like crazy. Oh yeah, with those smoky.
Things Smoky things of. Course they have to, of course
It's got the trial. With a gun like the bubble gun.
So actually you. Catch it with your cup.
Yeah, so that's like for Instagram, like influencers
this. Is absolutely unnecessary like.
So it's so over the. Top Yeah, clearly.
It's like the conference people who have, like, just, let's say,
or the business person who just came to Hong Kong, sealed the
deal and was like, I man, I deserve a little treat.
Yeah, give me that bullshit thing over there.
You know, maybe play this stupid thing.
I can afford that shit. Yeah, yeah.
You see also that is one. And which I know when we signed
up for this. I know it's not going to be like
a comedy club gig. Yeah.
So I accept that that there will be distractions and stuff if I'm
running a. Club show from headlining,
obviously we have different standards, yeah, but for like a
show like this, like you're not the main thing, as you said,
like you're just entertainment. Yeah, on the side.
Yeah, I. Understand that people are
distracted or whatever. It is still funny to see like
you like try to like tell a joke and then the bartender comes
with a gun and then like pulls the bubble and then goes up in
the air and then lands very slowly and the the the customer
tried to catch it or the cop, Well, their friends, three of
their friends are Instagram now. The flashes.
On so they can catch it and I'm. Like, oh man.
You got outdone by a bubble, yeah.
Who is like, I'm going to I'm going to go on a limb here and
say even Jay Seinfeld will be will be like Trump, like
eclipsed by let. Me.
Just say if something like that happened to me, it would
definitely burst my bubble. Guy on the piano.
Yeah, yeah. The other day also, you're on
stage, so I don't remember who was on stage.
Wasn't me, but someone was on stage.
And then the front row table was basically on fire.
Yeah, because the bartender came and did like a fire.
Yeah. Yeah, but it's like, really?
It looked like it was on fire. What the hell it?
Wasn't like a little like one shot glass with little fire.
Yeah, it was just another thing they do.
Oh my God, what is going on? It's pretty difficult, dude.
This is like doing the cafeteria gigs, man.
Like, whether you're in college and the kids are just lining up
to get the food, like, yeah, well, talk to me while I'm
waiting. Yeah.
Well, yeah. It's a lot easier because
everyone knows they understand and we also now say like 15
minutes before the show, there will be a stand up show here
because you don't want to spring it on down.
Yeah, yeah, that what's good. Why is this like?
Some people who are like want to talk business or whatever.
There is actually a corner in the far right of the bar where
you can go. You will hear the show, but we
won't hear you, which is really good.
That's another thing that you got right is that there is like
a booth all the way in the back where you can sit you if you
want to like just like kind of listen or whatever.
Or you just don't want to engage.
You sit in the back. I think everyone else is
standing closer to us. Crazy man.
Yeah, it's it's it's very fun. So yeah, come come to Lips.
We're there five nights a week. You'll see a lot of us working
out new stuff and you also see like some new faces.
Buy One just had her first show last week at Backstage.
She was she's was based in Shanghai.
I started with Nora at Spicy Comedy and now she moved here.
And yeah, great comic, just started a lot of potential.
So come check her out whenever you see her face on a poster.
One thing we're talking about between before recording you
were saying that you have a couple of like the next couple
of weeks are all just like domestic work for you?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. So my life now is, as I was
saying earlier on, it's like all cabling, organizing, trying to
get furniture, trying to put this in and all between.
How? How does it feel to be a
housewife? Hey, man, that's pretty All
right. I'll take it.
Because the husband comes back and kind of takes care of me.
I mean, I know, but basically it's it's it's a slow process.
It's all right. The only problem is that every
everything keeps adding up, as in, like, time and money.
And you're like, God damn, dude, how much for this?
I'm like, oh shit, I gotta wait. Next week maybe, You know.
Yeah. And secondly is that it
literally takes time because you want to do a good job, right?
So like, even putting up a shelf, like you might think
IKEA, whatever, I do like this. God damn IKEA shelves.
I forgot how long it takes you to build these shelves yourself,
right? Like, it took me two hours per
shelf over here. Oh my God.
Just because, like, they got the wood planks and everything and,
you know, because it's your own home, you're like, which side of
the wood do I want to use? Make sure it's all aligned and
all that shit And, yeah, all that stuff.
But once it's done, like OK now when you want to decorate it.
So my final thing that I enjoy the most is the final decoration
where you actually put the accessories and put the plates
and everything and. Then you take like 2 steps back
and just like. And you're like, oh.
Dude, this is my name. I.
Remember, man, like when I got a downstairs floor area when we
did the first time with the graffiti wall and everything,
I'm like, ah, this is home, you know?
Now you go down there, it's just a fucking mess.
Because it's like, too. Much shit, you know?
You're like, fuck this place. Yeah, God damn.
You know the walls are not white anymore.
Yeah, no, But basically because, like, all this shit that's
supposed to come up here is still down there.
So it's like, oh, God damn. So that on top of the
domestically I also have work like with schools and everything
now. Right, so it's exam season isn't
it? Like or pre, exam, pre.
Exam season. It's not exam right now.
So what happens is that usually this time of the year a lot of,
let's say department that say English departments might want
to have English week, stuff like that.
And they're always looking for new ideas.
And the benefit for me is because I've done this long
enough, many English teachers know of me because of course as
I said, I was featured in the exam and everything.
So this guy you know, this exam quality must be school quality.
Well, you're also there is pretty much no competition
because what else what kind of other form of entertainment can
they get? They can go to Lips and go watch
some shows there, you know, No, no, no.
Basically, yeah, there's entertainment wise, they would
have like dramas and everything. They do have a few good dramas,
like English drama groups. There are a few, at least before
I know. They were like this guy Andrew
Jones used to, sorry. David Andrews used to do Chunky
Onion. He would go and do dramas in
school. Fine, just by himself.
Him and a group, right. Cool.
And it was very good, Like very, very cool for their kids to
expose for. The kids.
OK, OK. So it's just all in English.
Yeah. Yeah, OK.
But The thing is that because there's multiple people there,
so their timing is a bit more difficult and the cost and
everything, yeah, I'm just one guy.
Yeah. So I get the benefit of being
the single guy. And on top of that, like going
to school Cantonese, I speak Cantonese as well.
So I get the multiple benefit. My identity, my my accolades.
Good. Idea.
Yes. Story.
Yeah, exactly. So all that adds up.
So yes, I go to a lot of schools and usually either.
So the combination is either it's over English week where
they want the kids to get exposed to English and showing
like English is quite fun as well, You know, have a laugh and
like see, English is a good language.
Yeah, Otherwise you might have Culture Week.
Do you have me talk about my life growing up in Hong Kong?
Otherwise you might have career development where I talk about
what I do and showing them that look nice.
So you can show up three times for the same school.
Absolutely. Have three different sets.
Yeah, Yeah, 3. Different sets I can do there.
You've got the language side where I'm learning Cantonese and
it's the same for them learning English.
You've got the side of basic positive mindset where I'm not a
funny or happy person. I look at the world from a
different angle, so I have like 5 different.
Kinds of survivors. Or all that stuff, you know,
like, so everyone, if you're not smoking, start smoking, man.
Yeah, no, basically a lot of these things.
There's a lot of overlap. Let's be honest, like my life
growing up as a non Chinese person, it's influenced how I
positively see the world. All that stuff, right?
But the idea really is that, hey, finally we get a guy that's
not like, all right kids, you know, if someone says something
rude, what should you do? Yeah, you don't want, like and
you still like, yeah, like, obviously you're a lot older
than the kids, but you're still like, look like you're a young
personality. I look young enough, you know,
like every Tell my girl you're. Not like, yeah, like an old guy.
Yeah, like, oh, man, what is this guy like, Grandpa?
He. Yeah, you're telling about life
how it? Respected, yeah.
Yeah, I mean every. But they also get that, and they
probably don't like it. Yeah, they.
Oh, dude, the number of times I've done my stuff and you will
have because our best assembly ever.
I'm like, it's not fair. Yeah, I'm a comedian, you know.
Yeah, compared to social worker, it's not fair to that.
It's social worker coming in and.
Talking about what? Respect.
Yeah, I mean, like, come on, you can't be.
It's, it's just not fair. It's like me saying, you know,
Olymp, let's say someone that swims in the Olympics, You're
like, oh, wow, hey, you want a gold medal?
Come on, man. It's a different game, dude.
This is what I do for full time, right?
So that's the fun part where the kids really, truly appreciate
it. And a lot of times because of
that, the teachers are happy with it.
They're like, oh wow, the kids stayed awake.
They definitely enjoyed it. That's a that's a good like,
this is a bare minimum, yeah. If you are someone that you come
through schools regularly and you know that the sleeping rate
is like 20 to 30%, yeah. It's 6 sleeps per minute, you
know what I mean? But yeah, there's a lot of
those. However, I'll tell you this, so
the the best part is usually before the a talk.
I tell teachers, hey, we can have Q&A at the end.
They're like, oh, we'll just leave 5 minutes.
I'm like, oh, I'm going to tell you now, I would recommend at
least 10. They're like, I don't know.
I'm like, trust me, you're used to the normal social workers
that will come. And the kids are like, oh, I
don't want to ask anything. I guarantee you, based on every
time I've done school talks, there's never enough time for
Q&A. Yeah, like, because they get
into it because they, they see that I'm a fun guy, whatever.
And secondly, I answer everything, right.
They can ask me anything. However, the game.
OK, So the game always, there's always a moral, right.
So the game is basically, you aren't allowed to ask me
absolutely anything. And if you have the guts to ask
it, I have to answer it. Right.
I cannot be like, oh, I'm sorry, this is.
Yeah, we did that at the end of our shows as well.
Yeah, it was Ask Me. We actually called it like
Reddit Ask Me. Anything.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
So precisely.
And you and you as the performer have to answer.
You can't be like, you know what that's not.
However, when you ask it, you as the asker have to be
responsible. Should there be consequences?
Yeah. So one of my, I remember one
time I went to school and this guy was like, will you support
N&N? I'm like, what the hell is it?
NNN, right. I was like, hey, I'm really
sorry. I really don't know what N is,
but if you can explain to me, I will answer you.
I really did not know And they're all laughing.
I'm like, I know this is something bad.
I get it. And I'm like, Buddy, what is
NNN? He's like, yeah, and eventually
some kids are shattered. No, not November, right?
If you don't Jack off for the whole month of November, that's
funny, right? And I was like, oh, all right,
cool. I'm like, I'm.
I know myself. You know, I'm a I'm a man.
I I won't lie to you. And I don't think I could do
that. That's not going to happen, you
know. But hey, you know, like, good
for you if you can, right? Right.
And at the end of the the talk before I left the disciplinary
teacher, when I'm going to yell the shit out of him, you know,
that's. Disrespectful.
Yeah. Not Respect?
He asked. Like, Yeah, Not.
Respectful. So my game was that I will
answer you but look. It's you have to deal with the
consequences, yeah, you the student.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's a life lesson in a way,
right? It's like, dude, sure, you can
do whatever you want, but I mean, it's like, it's like
saying you you can steal, but you got to deal with the
consequences of stealing, you know?
So same thing I. Think it's also good for them to
know like you are you will leave the school unharmed, exactly
like you. No, no, I tell them.
To show off tomorrow. Yes.
And I tell them I I one of my jokes is that I'm like, I just
before you ask your question, I know probably you want to ask
them about some teachers and everything.
I just want to remind you, I don't study here.
So I will answer you happily and leave.
But tomorrow you're going to come back and that teachers will
be like, what do you say? What did you say?
I'm like, hey man, I'm just saying, unless you want to
change schools, I don't recommend that question.
Right. So, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of
those, but. In general, like people say that
the schooling system here, especially the exam system is
quite stressful comparison to I guess the western dude.
Society. If you compared to let's say UK
and Australia, where like first of all, whenever you get anyone
from Hong Kong moving to let's say Australia, the parents are
losing their shit. Right.
They're like because it's too. Relaxed.
There's no homework. There's no homework.
What do you mean? Actually, as as someone who grew
up in a similarly stressful, like education system, that's
fucking ridiculous. Now this is the thing.
I thought about it myself. I was like, you know what?
As much as I'm like, come on, man, let's get me free.
You're like, no, I wouldn't lose my shit.
I'm like, I'm sorry. What?
You're doing what? Can't give like, a kid that
much. Like, yeah.
Freedom. It's too much.
Yeah. Yeah, they're going to lose
their shit, yeah. And they're going to be
depressed easily because like, I don't know what to do.
My life is too blah. Yeah, and sit the fuck down and
get that shit done. Yeah, you have to have
something. I mean, but also at the same
time very aware. There was just like 2 old guys
like, hey, they don't give kids. Yeah, yeah.
God damn kids. Yeah, with your youth and
everything. Yeah, with your iPads and your
YouTube. Wasting on Instagram.
The fuck are you doing? A comment here for you know.
Yeah, exactly. Get off the fuck off my.
Yeah, you know, but. Like, yeah, yeah, Like, I feel
like, yeah, giving them homework.
Is that Is that not necessary anymore?
I don't know, like what? So I think obviously with
everything like Buddhism, it's all about the center balance,
right? So you can't give too much
homework, you can't give no homework, all that stuff.
So my my view is always doing this is that, look, if you have
let's say 5 hours after school, yeah, I would recommend like 5
hours as in your time, not dinner and everything.
Sure, five hours, just do whatever.
I would recommend at least 40% of it should be disciplinary
kind of training. Whether it's homework, whether
it's you must do your chores, whether you you have to go get a
job, whatever. It's just to kind of instill a
certain level of like you have to put some effort in.
Because what I've realized honestly is that no matter how
life is, at some point you get used to it and your threshold
for acceptance of anything goes lower.
In other words, when you are basically free, when my schedule
opens up, I'm like, Oh my, I'm losing, Dude.
When I see an empty day on my schedule, I lose it.
I'm like, Oh my Oh my God, I'm so excited.
Around with excitement. I am so excited like you don't
understand like. All the possibilities I can
sleep on our more I can, yeah. Dude, think about the dog that
comes back in the wagon, the tail going crazy.
That's me. That's me.
The day before the the the holiday happened.
I'm like, Oh my God, OK, I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do that also. Be so good, so good.
I'm losing my shit. But then reverse it.
Like if I had like three or four days of that, I'm like, you
know, OK, you know, I'll. Yeah, yeah, it's.
Only special anymore. And I.
And that's why I learned, you know, And I think that's in
general, same with comedy. Like, for example, in the
beginning when we started doing comedy, dude, honestly, all we
wanted to do was go up there and perform.
Yeah. Now if you tell me, go up there
and perform like, yeah. And yeah, I'm like the the
situation never changed. Yeah, it's my job.
But also, the satisfaction is no longer there because you're
like, this is the level I'm at. Yeah, this is my standard level.
Now doing it like I went down after Matt did my set left, I'm
like, what's the problem? Yeah.
Yeah, it did. Well, whatever.
Yeah, like it. Just like.
That's exactly supposed to do, you know.
And I think that's the thing about life that I would say Hong
Kong has got right as and they've really nailed the kids
down to work. They've got it wrong because
they've only taught the kids to sit down and work right, you
know. And you can see in the toys and
everything again in in a in a show people will come and ask
you what where can we sit, you know, all that kind of stuff.
Whereas overseas they just sit. Yeah, they're like, dude, they
said reserved, like and. Yeah, I.
Didn't that give you a hint like, well, you never specified
it could it, right? So it's a matter of like, if you
don't say I can't, I'm gonna, whereas in Hong Kong, if you
don't say I can't, I'm not gonna, right?
Right. Seems cannot.
Yeah. Yeah.
Seems canal. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. So again, one of those things.
But you went through this, the schooling here obviously.
And what was because people one of the recurring like dreams or
nightmares rather the people still have like a few of them
are quite common. One of them is like falling,
right? Yeah, you always wake up like
when you before you touch the ground, which I think it's fear
of. I don't know what it is death or
heights or whatever, but one of them is very common which is
exam, the stress of exam. People still have it.
I still have it. And if you wake up like PTS,
like, yeah, I forgot my pencil. Yeah, it's always like forgot
your pencil, You forgot your answers.
Yeah, it's very common. Have you ever noticed?
That no Asian or Middle Eastern ever has the dream where they
wake up with just their underwear in the exam.
That's just a Western dream. Yeah, right.
We never like no one. Oh, I'm wearing my underwear.
Like what? That's not that's your least of
your problems. Yeah.
If that's my biggest stress that I'm having right now, yeah,
that's pretty fucking good. Yeah, I agree.
If I'm just wearing my underwear, that's cool, dude.
Yeah, but if I forgot my pen and I can't do the exam.
Yeah, I want to be able to afford the underwear.
That's the issue right now, right?
No, I I I wouldn't have. Now, first of all, I don't dream
that much. I don't remember my dreams.
I should say maybe I probably dream, but I don't remember it.
Secondly, I think my biggest fear is usually not forgetting
something. It's making careless mistakes,
like where you do it and you know, like, oh shit, you're
right. Oh, you know, like simple,
stupid stuff like. And I think maybe as a young
kid, I might have made a lot of those because, like, I'm like,
this is easy. Let me do it.
The moment it's easy, your brain's like, all right,
autopilot. Relax.
Once you relax, you're done. Oh, you're done, dude.
Yeah, so I think I get those where like I will check
something four times. Not just even three times, like
four times back then I like when I do my emails, dude, when I do
my emails now, I have a new habit.
Now, first of all, I type the e-mail, I check the e-mail, I
check it again, and with Gmail you can schedule the send time,
right? So I'll schedule it for 3
minutes later. Shouldn't my subconscious come
back a minute later? But.
Hey, wait a second, you've got this.
You know, then I'm still covered.
You know, like this kind of. Stupid stuff.
Really. Do you do 3 minutes?
Ahead I do a lot of those. Like, of course, if it's like a
quick, you know, thanks so much, God, I'll wait for you to reply
me. That's fine.
But there's what I have. A spell check now.
Like a separate, like an outside spell check.
Yeah. Because I am like, I tend to
like make like even though with like the auto predict and stuff.
Yeah. I still like, make like stupid
mistakes. Yeah.
Because I like type fast and I
just want to get it out of the way.
So now. And people caught like, my typos
on the newsletter. Yeah.
That's actually when I started like doing like outside spell
check. Yeah.
So now I put anything that is
like more than two or three lines.
Yeah, it goes through an outside spell check first, and then I
like catch. It also does grammar fixes as
well, yeah, and then I put it back.
So how do you do your end of emails?
Do you do the regards? Do you just sincerely do the
thanks? Friends, I hate regards.
I barely do it. I do cheers a lot.
Yeah, yeah, so cheers, comma. And then that signature comes in
tone sometimes I like, thank you and have a good weekend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It depends on like how formal.
You're talking, my thing is always like, enjoy your day,
enjoy your weekend kind of thing.
It's like always a little day. Hey man, just, you know, enjoy.
I'll see you later, you know. We're still two humans.
Yeah, we're still humans, you know, like whatever it is, all
this shit that I told you, but hey, you know, enjoy what you do
and. I'll get back.
To you right. And then secondly, we're never.
Going to work with you again, but enjoy your weekend.
Enjoy the weekend without me, bitch.
Yeah, but I don't know. Like, that's the thing.
Like over time I've come to realize that I've got to enjoy
those emails as well. Same with a lot of people.
Yeah, when I receive an e-mail and you will see certain people
actually put some effort to make that e-mail fun, like for
example, they'll say, hey man, hope you're enjoying this weird
non humidity in Hong Kong. Like, yeah, I like that.
You know, like it's not like, hey, hope you enjoyed your
weekend. I got bullshit.
Nobody cares about that. Yeah, you have that.
And again that's the thing. Like in schools over here you
were taught formal writing. So you'll be like you're
sincerely you're thoughtfully you know best regards about
that. But after a while I was like,
when everyone does that, there's no feeling.
So you've we got to have some kind of a different match.
So again, coming back to schools and everything, I will say the
thing that worked for me is because I went to local Chinese
school, discipline, crazy, all that stuff.
However, because I was not. You guys get smacked as well?
No. No, no, I think back then, by
that time they stopped that. Oh yeah, yeah, smacking kind of
stopped in my year the year before, right?
And you would still have the heavy crazy like work your ass
off, you get stressed out like shit kind of exams up.
But the thing for me is that because I would never fit in as
in I was a non Chinese kid, my lifestyle had a bit more Western
touch to it. So I'd come home, it's a bit
more western, go to school with very Eastern.
So I really got a good mix and that's the next thing I tell
when I go to PTA as a parent teacher association talks, I
tell them that that's one thing I really think is beneficial.
It doesn't matter which school you send your kid to, just had
the opposite as well to complement it.
So if you're going like a lot of parents say, oh, I don't know,
International School or local school, right?
That's too free. Yeah, International School was
expensive, but they get to think local school is cheaper.
But, you know, they're going to think, you know, they're just
sheep. I'm like, yeah, but you have a
parent, their job. Where you can, you have to
counter the opposite of what they have been having at school.
Exactly. You know, so like if you go to
International School, they're going to go, wow, that's cool,
then counter with some discipline so they develop it
over time. And look I.
Feel like that one is harder than the opposite, which is like
a disciplined Chinese disciplined kid.
And now you give them freedom. It feels like a bit easier, it's
like, but the other way around the kid is because now they're
like. The home is not fun, you.
Know, yeah. They don't want to come home,
they. Don't want to come home?
They're going to find ways to like, be outside or like, you
know, make shit up. Or whatever.
You get it so like in the same way, it's like being a clean
comic. Going dirty is easier than a
dirty comic going clean. Of course, right.
Same thing. So I would say, yeah, hence why
I feel local schools have the benefits.
Of course not every local school is equal.
Allow all that shit. But again, you as a parent have
to do your homework. You can just take all local
schools, send it to the next door, the one next door.
It's like, no, it doesn't work that way.
So there's a lot to it. But again, I have no kids who I
have no right to complain, tell parents.
How to see them like almost every day?
All the time. Yeah, yeah, and you will.
Honestly, I can tell the difference, man.
Like, I can do 2 gigs, back-to-back.
Go to an International School, go to local school and you see a
big difference. I can tell.
I've done actually back to backs, like mornings,
international afternoon, local school.
OK morning. You would go there and you could
see a little bit more laid back. They'll sit there and they're a
little restless. They're sitting on the floor and
they're like looking around and if you don't entertain them,
they feel there's no need to show you respect.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like, yeah, you're
boring. I don't care, you know?
And yeah, it's fair, you know, I didn't earn their respect.
Fine. You go to a local school that
it's, it's kind of inbuilt. You walk into the hall quiet,
Not that you want to be, but you're like I really quiet.
I'll get in trouble. You know, you sit down, but then
now you're sitting up straight saying, I better respectfully
listen to this guy and you have to go up there and shatter that.
Which is why I like my opening bid for all schools is always,
hey, my name is Vivek. You know, thank you for the MCS
for saying my name correctly or incorrectly.
And I'm like because back in school, people call me Wick
Wick. And the moment I do that,
they're like, what? What is this?
Yeah, hold on a second. This is that can laugh.
Yeah, this is funny, huh? You know, bam, over.
Done. You know, once you got them,
they're like, OK, this guy, OK. So what do you what happens when
you do that opening for The International?
That also kind of works. Works because.
But the difference is with local schools, I feel that they're
laughing because the situation is funny.
Yes. With international schools,
they're laughing because they're like, look at you, you got to
call Wickwick, right. It's a little different of like
they're laughing at me ish. Yes, yes, yes.
Not rudely, but they're like, oh, huh, This guy got go Wick,
Wick, you know. Whereas local schools are like,
oh, the teacher, the teacher said they're all, oh, you know,
right, right. Laughing how the teacher
mispronouncing. Yeah, yeah.
It's fascinating. It's very, very interesting.
It's just you can see the nuance in their eyes and the way they
respond to certain things. Like, I had this one joke where
I would say after school, I didn't want to go to tutorial
centers, so I would ask the teacher, Hey, teacher, can I
stay in school? Can you can you punish me with
detention? Right.
Teacher's like, oh, no, you didn't do anything wrong.
I can't punish you. Yeah.
And I'm like, oh, I got to do something wrong.
And when I do that, local schools lose it, right?
Right. The idea.
Because. They can't relate to you as
well. Because they all they're like,
what do you mean I have to do something wrong is Oh my God
I've never had that power Yeah and they're like oh their brains
are you can see in their eyes are like I would do this.
I would do that. I would do this.
I would get that in trouble. I would do this is so good,
right? They've never had that freedom.
Sure. Was it international schools
doing something wrong? The teacher doesn't doesn't
really punish it to that level. Sure.
Local school. So you're used to doing
something wrong. OK, I won't do it again.
Right. Right.
But locals were like, Oh my God, that's a death.
Yeah, it's like you're giving them a new, like superpower.
Yeah, they're like, you can do that.
You mean there's a time and place when doing something wrong
is actually useful? Exactly.
Oh my God, they're losing it. Yeah, Yeah.
So stuff like that. And that's what I really enjoy,
where you get different audiences doing the same set and
you see the responses and the best feeling, just like you did
in Australia. Yeah, is when you know
something's going to hit. Yeah.
And you're like, wait for it. Yeah, wait for it.
Yeah, bam, you. Know something that they don't
know. And you're like just.
And you know how they're going to react on this?
Yeah, it's like that beautiful moment of like, yeah, I know I
have this power now. Yes.
It's just like the superhero movie.
You know, yeah, like, I will do this super move.
Exactly. I will do the Super.
Move, but you please go ahead and keep punching me very.
True. Oh.
Man. Speaking of punching the The
weather is getting a bit country.
It's it's hot. It's getting hotter, man.
It's getting hotter. The humidity's still kind of
acceptable right now. It's.
Manageable. Yeah.
And. And honestly, we're in the
middle of May, which is kind of worrying me because like you,
there's no free lunch in Hong Kong.
Just May is this weather. July is gonna kick our ass.
Well, since I moved here, pretty much every year I always see the
same headline, which is like this was the hottest month on
record. Like hottest May, hottest,
April, hottest, whatever. So it just feels like, I don't
know, maybe global warming is real.
Sure. I mean, I'm not designing that.
I mean, have you seen the amount of packaging, dude?
Just the packaging I got for stuff that's been delivered
here, it's. Ridiculous.
It's ridiculous, yeah. But also, didn't they just pass
a law for single use plastic that is supposed to be?
Oh, yeah, yeah. For.
For cutlery. Yeah.
For. Cutlery, yeah, is.
This in effect. It's in effect now, yeah.
So restaurants and stuff will give you paper or or diet,
biodegradable or kind of. Like the wooden.
The wooden. Yeah, but that's.
Expensive. So a lot of restaurants will use
like the paper one, which OK, So what is the paper?
OK, so there was this really, really funny thing where they
had a press conference where this supplier of paper based
cutlery, like hard paper based cutlery, had to show their
product and show how it's actually still just as effective
as plastic. Yeah, and the guy goes head
using their paper. Fork.
Well, they're basically fork. OK, I won't say paper.
It's like, you know, whatever. The fork and the knife to cut a
piece of chicken. Knife.
And the fork just breaks, yeah. Shit.
Because that was the biggest question people had.
They were like, will this be able to keep up with the type of
food we eat over here? Yeah, because we need that
stronger plastic to cut the meats.
We have thick slices of meat, right?
They're like, no, no, yeah, definitely We can't.
Bam. Broke.
I was like, I was like, oh shit, that became the running.
Joke, dude. Nice.
It was this recent. This is like I think beginning
because I think the beginning of April, right, April 22nd or
something was the day they had the law pass.
We were in. I was.
Yeah, as well, yeah. And I was just like and became
the the joke of the century. They're like of course, and this
is because people before have always complained that.
This is kind of like the the test for the Cyber Cyber truck
when they did. Like, Oh yeah, did you work with
something? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because Cyber Truck is supposed to be like unbreaking.
Bullet. Proof or whatever.
And Elon Musk had, like his engineer, like throw like a
heavy ball at the Yeah, like it was a metal ball at the glass,
but it immediately shattered. And he's like, oh.
Well, that's going to go back and definitely getting.
Fired. Yeah, but.
It was also for the whole world to see.
It was quite funny. Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, well, a good save though, that's going back into
the lab, you know, that's a good save.
You know it is sure. The guy doubled down.
He got another fork and started working on.
I'm like, why would you need exity?
I remember you had seen the short, biggest thing, 'cause
like everyone's telling me about it, 'cause I remember I.
Actually never heard of paper like paper based.
It's it's it's a hard paper, like cardboard Y kind of thing,
but it should be hard enough. But again, you're assuming it's
soft food. Remember, we're not in the
Western world where the food there is softer.
Here the food. Is bones.
Weed, Bones, #1. And think about the, like, the
pork chops, man, that stuff requires a lot of cutting, you
know, and that's what I mean. And it's not the knife, It's the
fork with the pivots on the the neck of the fork.
I mean, that's where it's going to break.
And it happened to me because I remember I did a gig and they
gave me like the the the chicken rice thing gave me that little
puppy of my share, whatever, a fork and knife.
And #1, forget it. Like you're not eating the meal
immediately. You might eat half and put your
fork inside, do some work and come back.
The fucking fork melts, dude. Yeah, exactly.
You know, it gets a little soggy.
Don't you? Also, yeah, exactly the same
problem that we have with the paper.
Straws like these things never work.
Work. I hate them so much.
Yeah. You know, as much as I want to
care for the environment and dolphins, I I care also for my
fucking like, smoothie to actually work.
Yeah. The problem is.
Also, moisture. It's just like simple.
Moisture you can exactly. You can have the paper plus
moisture exactly with bad news. This is Mother Nature saying not
in this way, not in this way. Yeah, not in this way, dude.
Like, I will tell you how the laws of physics work, and this
is going to get soggy real soon. Oh, man.
Yeah. So I don't know.
Like, at this point, I've just come to go.
Like, you know what? I'm just going to enjoy.
What I can also like I feel like plastic bags are a bigger
problem. Maybe.
Maybe they're not. I'm not an environmentalist, but
the plastic bags like I usually tell the the fruit lady.
Like no. Like I have my own tote bag or
whatever, and a lot of people do, but also the amount, Like
how how heavy-handed they are with these plastic bags are
insane. Because I would go and buy like,
you know, two tomatoes and some bananas and like. 2 bags for
that. Yeah, it's like.
What are you doing, lady? And like, I use them again,
maybe? Like, that's an idea for a lot
of people. Like if you have dogs, you can
just use them as poop bags later.
Yeah, so I still like even when they give them to me and I don't
have another bag, I still use them, but it's still just total
waste. Yeah, but those bags are not as
biodegradable as like the poo bags that, you know, me buy from
stores. Correct.
So it's still bad. It's still bad.
Yeah. You.
Don't toss them, but yes, you're right.
Dude, forget that. Go to a bakery.
Those bastard man. They will separate every item
into a plastic bag. I'm like, what?
What? The local bakery.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I have to tell them no, I'm
gonna have it right now. Just give me the paper bag.
They're like, oh, get oily and soggy.
Like I'm gonna eat it now. Yeah.
Put it in my hand. Yeah, put in my, like, the egg
trots. I go straight in my hand and I'm
like, do not give me this fucking.
Back here, this is the train. Yeah, this is the train just put
in there, you know, like, I'll take a little picture.
You can just feed it to me. To me.
Just open your mouth. Exactly.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
You know, God, like every time I do it like older and if I forget
and the music plastic bag and put it in, I'm like, oh shit,
I'm gonna eat it now, dude, shit.
Yeah, those are again very heavy-handed with like those
like like like light plastic bags or even the plastic layers
between things. It's like it's too much, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, that's like the fruit.
Yeah. But I mean, what is the
alternative? Going back to cutlery, I guess.
Like chopsticks are great, but not everything.
I think maybe some sort of government subsidy so they use
some better quality of the biodegradable ones, you know
like like let's say, I believe let's say the coffee shops, they
have these corn based stores, you know.
Oh yeah, those ones. Those you can actually eat.
Maybe those, Yeah, yeah. But if we get the eating one, I
mean, those are too expensive and hygiene, whatever.
But like the corn ones, at least stay strong for a longer while.
Yes, you get it. Like I'm sure.
They they also end up melting a little bit with a little.
Bit coffee? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But still, I iced. Coffee is good.
Yeah, yeah, I get it. And but The thing is that the
government should subsidized in that sense.
At lease then, you know, like, come on man, you can afford this
kind of money. I mean, you might say you would
lose the money, all that shit, but like you have the money,
don't do the stupid shit. I mean that is also reminds me
of the one last thing we talk a lot about like the the corporate
bookings we get and it's always and actually any just to remind
me of that as well because we're both have like in negotiation
with like corporate events and they're both having the same
thing that you always keep saying no matter how low your
coat is or how much you say in general, they will always
counter it with something else and they will never go like all
right, that's decent, let's go. They will always be like how
much else can I get And it's like I'm actually giving you a
very reasonable thing and of course reasonable is whatever
subjective. But even when I'm like any
literally like one of the things like through a connection of
harsh is like they're like OK, we don't have budget.
She's like and he's like OK, I will do it for this and this.
It's like nothing basically. And these still windows like OK
can you do this other things like what are you doing?
Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Oh, for sure, man.
Every single time. Yeah.
So you like, that's the thing. You build your brand.
Hopefully to a point where they feel it might be disrespectful
to ask you that. But of course, you know, come
on, everyone has to build, start from somewhere.
And that's happened to me all the time.
Like, oh, while you're there. Anyway, could you come on 15
minutes? Bit too crazy.
I'm like, doesn't work that way, dude.
I mean, this is not just like, I'm just keep talking.
I I want me space the words that more.
This is stupid, you know? Yeah.
I'm like, forget it. I'm not gonna argue with you.
I'll explain to you why 15 is better than 20.
The attention span. Wow, wow, wow, wow.
You know? Yeah, but yeah, you get all that
all the time. Like, I'm just to the point
where I'm like, OK, let's go. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
You're already expecting it and you so you go, but that's just
annoying things like once you already know they're going to do
that, then you're just going to start coding a little higher.
It's stupid knowing that they're going to try to low volume and
you get to the price that you wanted in the 1st place.
It's like it's just like stupid dance.
It's a dance. It's almost like, you know,
asking like someone out and it's like you already know what's
going to like what you're trying.
They know what you're trying and it's like just this silly dance
of like, oh, do you want to go out for a coffee?
And you're like, what? Can I go to this place?
Yeah, like I would love to. We'll go to the same place at
the same time and there's like, just say a date.
Yeah, exactly. There's nothing wrong with
saying the word date. Yeah, there's some things in
life. I feel that a dance is good.
The little this isn't sure, Certain things.
You're like, bitch, shut up, OK? You gave me those looks.
And so you want to go on a date with me?
Exactly to the point. Let's do the dancing while we're
on the date. Exactly, yeah.
But like, what is this? Yeah, it's it's a date.
Yeah, exactly. You know what is.
We just met. We don't know know each other.
Yeah, we met again. It's a date.
Yeah, exactly. Oh really?
This is not anything. It's like, shut the fuck.
He's like oh. So you're 45?
Like stop doing. That stopping I've never done
this. Before.
Yeah, sure. You have three kids.
Yeah, you've never done. This before?
Yeah, like I would never ever. It just happened to happen.
It's like, shut the fuck up. Yeah, yeah, come on.
Yeah, it's the same thing. It's like, yeah, the HR people
or whatever, like a person. It's like do it.
We're professionals. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. So on that note, if you are
hiring us, please don't make our lives difficult.
I'm yours because you're just wasting time.
Yeah, it's like, hey, I really want to work with you.
You should start there. I really want to work with you.
Whatever you give me, we will try to make it work.
I would really respect. That, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like hey. We might not have a lot of
budget, which obviously everyone says even when they do have
budget, but still the willingness of like, you know, I
let's make this happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's. Just work together.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Instead of like, tell me what's
your car? Then you show your car like, Oh
yeah, I know, It's so boring, dude.
It's so boring. So boring.
That's it. It's boring.
Yeah, it's like and it's just. And also Hong Kong's about
efficiency. Just be fucking.
Efficient. I know, man.
It's OK. I know.
Like, I'll be honest with you. I'm at a point now that I get
less of that now. Mostly because that, yeah.
I'm. You're in the beginning, Yeah,
yeah, in the beginning was a lot of that shit.
Now they're like, Oh, well, I mean, that's his 'cause.
I mean, we can't challenge him on that.
That's who he's like, mobani kind of thing.
Like, yeah, yeah, thank you for that.
But yeah, every now and then I get that.
Oh, you know, unfortunately, we can only do this.
And then, you know, if you could do that, that'd be great.
I'm like, I could go back and be like, I'm sorry, I can't really
do this price. So I'm like, you know what,
Fine. Let's just get this done.
I'm gonna go home and sleep. Yeah, that's true.
For us here in the in the next couple of months, we're actually
having, aside from the lips shows that you can come to any
time a backstage comedy calendar is full.
Basically every Saturday we're at base hall, 9:00 PM, different
shows. We have Hong Kong as fuck.
That has just happened. We have we're lining up
international headliners again for the summer series and also
some local headliners, some showcases new faces.
So yeah, the scene is popping. The guys are back all from
touring. Tim Chan yourself.
Jordan guarantee was is going on the road a couple of times as
well. So it's going to be a lot of
fun. Come check us out Backstage
Comedy. And one last thing, sign up for
the patreonpatreon.com/hoho Pod as we are building the podcast
studio Vivek. What do we need?
Basically we need all your savings that you that you
thought you're going to do on yourself.
And just remember we're going to be getting, we have to get
cameras and lights and everything.
So the investment really is that lights and cameras are the main
ones, the recipe like the podcast equipment as you can
hear the audio side we've done. We will not ask you to pay for
our shaving cream nor moisturizer, but we would be
appreciative we can pay for like, you know, our time.
Yeah, the time and maybe some some water to drink.
Water. That'd be nice that.
'D be very cool, actually. Something we can offer the
guests is something else. Because once we do podcast,
yeah, I'm only lining up good looking guests.
Well, let me just say the water, what we have in this particular
flat right now is of high quality.
It's a sweeter water, softer water.
I've got the Britta filter. Yeah, I've got the Britta
filter. So whoever's sure I can
guarantee you'll drink my water like, well, hey, wait a second.
Yeah. I'm like, yeah, there's a reason
I put that stuff there. But also we will need to.
Pay our video editors as well because we will need someone to
help us with. My clips and everything exactly.
And the subtitles and all of that.
But yeah, it's genuinely a good way to support the podcast
that's been going on for many, many years.
Patreon dot com pod. That is it.
I'm almost never able to get it right in one card.
That's OK, Mohammed. It's it's very it's a tongue
twister. It is, it is.
That's why, for everyone, if you could not understand his
English, let me say it once again without the twisting of
the tongue. patreon.com/hoho pod.
There you go. Enjoy your weekend.
Bye bye. It's a weekday, but enjoy your
weekend. Cheers faithfully.