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Stay. 
Tuned stay. 

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What's up guys? 
My name is Alexis, your host 

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with praises in the pod. 
And I'm so excited to be in the 

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studio with two sisters. 
This is the first time we've had

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three girly pops in the studio 
at once, so that is always fun. 

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But to be very transparent with 
you, Kim, you already heard her 

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testimony. 
Have we recorded it yet? 

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Absolutely not. 
We we haven't. 

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And we're going to be very 
transparent about that. 

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So we may be saying a few things
that you already heard or not, 

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we don't know. 
But here we go. 

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This is Stephanie, her sister, 
and we're going to be talking 

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about their childhood and her 
testimony by herself, and then 

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what that looks like as adults. 
And so we're really excited. 

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So first we're going to start 
off in prayer and then we're 

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going to jump right in. 
So here we go. 

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Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 
for all that you have done in 

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our lives, all that you're doing
in our lives. 

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Lord God, you just have had your
hand on top of us all these 

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years and we are so thankful for
that. 

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We pray that you speak to us 
today and through us we pray 

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that you calm our nerves and let
this episode glorify you. 

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In Jesus name I pray Amen. 
All right Stephanie, I am so 

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excited to hear about you and 
your testimony and what that 

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looks like today. 
But let's talk about a little 

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bit about your childhood and how
you got here. 

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So my dad was in the Air Force 
and we moved here when I was 2 

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and he ended up retiring here. 
So Warner Robins is all I've 

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ever known. 
We started going to Southside 

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when I was really young. 
I'm not exactly sure. 

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Like kindergarten, First grade. 
So the my only church I ever 

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knew until adulthood and we were
really involved always there on 

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Sunday, Sunday school, Wednesday
night, Awana and I would say all

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the way through middle school, 
in high school, I was involved 

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in the middle school, high 
school programs, going to small 

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group, all of that. 
Even being a Sunday school 

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teacher for elementary in 
school, like just that was what 

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was normal. 
Like that's what my friends did 

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too, is like we all were 
volunteering and that's what I 

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was heavily involved in the 
church. 

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So really if the doors were 
open, you were there like wow, 

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that is crazy because now even 
though like you were a child 

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when y'all first started coming,
like now you're adults, you 

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don't live here. 
She actually flew in from 

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Hawaii. 
But we will get there. 

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So like just to be able to say 
that your family is still a part

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of that community what 20 more 
plus years later like that is 

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absolutely incredible. 
So tell us a little bit about 

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what y'all's maybe Kim. 
Like, this is where you'll jump 

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in a little bit, but tell us a 
little bit about what y'all's 

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relationship look like as kids. 
We are three years. 

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Apart almost exactly, and we do 
have an older brother too, but 

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I'm the middle child and I would
definitely say whoever was doing

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the cooler thing is where I 
went. 

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Definitely was the middle child,
but I would say a little bit of 

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a peacekeeper, a little bit of a
pot stir would be a perfect way 

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to describe myself in my younger
years. 

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Stephanie and I are very close 
now, but when we were younger, I

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was her bully for sure. 
I'd say by the time I was 16, 

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like, she became my best friend.
Like that stuff was put behind 

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us. 
But we're starting off really 

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early in the episode to be 
getting worked up. 

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But that's the truth is I was 
cruel, Stephanie. 

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Do you think necessarily that it
was like just like a jealousy 

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type of thing because she was 
the baby and. 

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I don't even know if it was that
because I don't even look at it.

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I mean, yes, in our older years,
I can look back and be like, 

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well, some things were 
definitely unfair around here, 

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but. 
I don't think I look back and 

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say like it was because of a 
thing my parents did or even 

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like I was jealous of Robbie and
Stephanie's relationship. 

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I think it was just 
insecurities. 

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Truly for me was like how can I 
make myself feel better by 

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putting someone else down? 
That was it and I did for sure. 

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And it honestly was something I 
never apologized for like even 

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like when we did become best 
friends, it wasn't something 

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that I was like hard stop. 
And you can kind of like speak 

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on that too because I don't know
exactly. 

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Did it stop in high school? 
Like when like I said, I can 

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pinpoint like when I got my 
driver's license is when I, I 

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really feel like all of a sudden
I was like, you're my best 

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friend. 
We're going to do everything 

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together. 
Even though I had other friends,

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I was just like, well, you're 
the most available because she 

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couldn't drive. 
Well, I feel that, you know. 

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Which worked for me because it 
was like I think growing up as 

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the younger sister, I wanted her
to love me, to be friends with 

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me, but she didn't want that. 
Like it was if her friends were 

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over, her friends would let me 
hang out, but she'd be like, 

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leave us alone, don't, which is 
like normal, right? 

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But I wanted her approval and I 
wanted her friendship. 

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So like she can kick me and kick
me and kick me and it's going to

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hurt my feelings. 
But like I also wasn't going to 

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stay mad at her because I was 
like. 

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Please just love me like. 
I didn't let it stay between us,

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but definitely would like like, 
she said when she turned 16. 

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Yes, I think. 
I still sometimes mean, but it 

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wasn't like. 
You're quick to say something. 

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She's going to call me out if I 
do something that like I 

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shouldn't have been doing or 
whatever. 

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Like she's going to tell me 
straight up like and maybe not 

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say it in the nicest way at all.
Probably the meanest way that 

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you could say it that that also 
then doesn't want. 

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I don't want to correct my 
behavior for that. 

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It almost is just like, I don't 
know, like it. 

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It wasn't gentle. 
So that I'm it's not going. 

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To do it even more, yes. 
And then the tension's going to 

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build because you've already 
called her out about it. 

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You still want to do it because 
she called you out about it, and

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now you're going to continue to 
like nag about it and try to 

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call her out too. 
Yes. 

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Try to just grow on that. 
But and I will say, like tables 

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turned, she want to hang out 
with my friends. 

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And then all of a sudden it kind
of did feel like I wanted to be 

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friends with her friends. 
And then she kind of was the one

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who was like, no, like, these 
are my friends. 

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So it was just funny how we 
would like turn like, you know, 

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take turns on that kind of 
stuff. 

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But I mean, like I said, I feel 
like that is the turning point 

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is I stopped being cruel. 
We started leaning into each 

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other. 
I kind of stopped my middle 

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child behavior as far as I 
wasn't trying to please Robbie 

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as much as I used to, because I 
think I'd kind of moved on with 

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that. 
This is my best friend. 

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By then, Robbie was in his who's
now his wife. 

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Like he was already in that 
relationship. 

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That was also the turning point 
too, is that. 

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That was his best. 
Stacey was his best friend and 

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so like he was. 
So I leaned in. 

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He. 
Kicked off to the curb. 

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Bicycle. 
It would be more so her and 

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Robbie being like 6 years apart.
It was a lot. 

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Different, he ended up being 
like my high school pastor my 

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senior year. 
Like so me and Robbie have a 

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completely different like our 
age gap made us very far apart 

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and different different. 
And like my guy friends in 

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middle school that was their 
middle school leader. 

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So like there was that dynamic 
where me and Kim, being closer 

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in age, we're just more friends.
And on like, you could be honest

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with me. 
Yeah, Yeah. 

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I wasn't going to be telling 
Robbie anything like you're 

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you're a pastor or like you're 
working with our middle school 

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group and stuff like that. 
Yeah, so we kind of talked about

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y'all separately, but did you 
like face anything during this 

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time? 
Like y'all are going to church 

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basically but like are you 
completely sold out for the Lord

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or like are you just kind of 
going because your parents are 

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taking you to church? 
I know in elementary school I 

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said the salvation prayer, I got
baptized. 

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Like I was doing all the things 
that I thought, like I'm a 

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Christian. 
I've been raised in a Christian 

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home. 
Like it's really common that 

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like everyone thinks they're 
Christians. 

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We all go to church. 
Like it's almost, it's more 

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normal to go to church than to 
not go to church here. 

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So I thought that like I'm a 
Christian and I think more so it

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was like I'm a good person. 
Like I had the right foundation 

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from my parents, just from like 
we had a really like a calm 

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normal household. 
So I thought that I was on the 

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right path and doing those 
things. 

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And I wouldn't say I was a very 
insecure, maybe different from 

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her. 
I was insecure with my 

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friendships at school because I 
did have more strict parents. 

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We weren't supposed to be dating
and all my girlfriends were 

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dating in like middle school. 
And my parents wanted to know 

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like where we are, who we're 
hanging out with, things that 

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are actually really normal, very
normal. 

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As a parent now, I always say my
parents weren't strict. 

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They just loved me. 
And I can see that now. 

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But back then, I was like, I 
felt like I had the most strict 

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parents. 
Yeah. 

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And so I was insecure in my 
friendships, I think because I 

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felt like I, I was lame compared
to them or I never really knew, 

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like, exactly where I fit in 
because I felt like I could be 

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friends with a lot of groups of 
people. 

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So I wanted to be friends with a
lot, like whoever would accept 

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me. 
That's just where I wanted to 

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be. 
Yeah, a chameleon, if you will. 

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Just definitely then yes. 
Do you feel like that too? 

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Like about yourself and that 
when No you were like I know my 

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friends. 
Really was different. 

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I did know my friends for the 
most part, like my core friends 

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were good good friends. 
My parents didn't worry about 

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who I was hanging out because 
they trusted my friend. 

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They did not trust hers. 
My mom has really good 

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discernment when it comes to 
friendships and whether I wanted

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to listen to it or not is 
different. 

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But she would be immediately 
like, that's not a good friend, 

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she's only using you or such and
such. 

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But she had good discernment. 
So when I like, I would say I 

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had a very good best friend that
we were doing everything 

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together and my parents never 
questioned, what are you doing? 

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Who were you with when you're 
with her? 

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It was always like, she's with 
Heather. 

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Like like no, no worries. 
I was more of like sneaking and 

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lying from like I would say 
middle school, probably like 8th

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grade and then on all the way 
through high school. 

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That's why my parents didn't 
trust me is I could look them 

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dead in the eyes and completely 
lie about where I was going to 

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be, who I was going to be with, 
what we were going to be doing 

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like because I knew they would 
say no and that was going to be 

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bottom line. 
It was never going to be we're 

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going to fight about it or we're
going to like if I say this are 

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going to change their mind. 
I knew it was a no. 

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So then it was I'm spending the 
night at this persons house and 

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that was it. 
And I was in a completely 

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different place. 
Yeah, so. 

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So truly living a double life 
that's really hard, like as a 

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high schooler, like especially 
or honestly, you said eighth 

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grade, so middle school too. 
But like living that extreme of 

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a life where you're lying 
constantly, like it's heavy and 

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you don't even really know that 
it's so heavy and taking a toll 

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on you until you're out of it 
and you're like, man, like that 

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was tough. 
That was a tough time. 

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Like why wasn't I just like 
honest? 

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Or, you know, like it might. 
Have been a lot easier just to 

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listen to my parents and to hang
out with who I was supposed to 

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be hanging out with. 
Julie like, yes, I told you she 

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was. 
Right. 

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My mom was right, yes. 
There's so many times that I 

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look back and I'm like, man, my 
mom was so. 

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Right. 
But back that Happy Mother's 

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Day, Julie. 
But I'm like, really, it takes a

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lot. 
And it really takes you until 

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00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:46,440
you get in that adult stage to 
see those things, yes. 

226
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:49,240
Yeah, yeah, like all of a sudden
it really is like it starts you 

227
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,400
might be crazier mom since she 
was. 

228
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,280
You thought she was strict. 
Don't just wait. 

229
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:58,880
All right, so let's transition a
little bit into maybe early 

230
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:01,960
years of adulthood. 
Maybe because y'all are best 

231
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:06,960
friends at around 16 for you? 
You're like 13 ish and so 

232
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,920
through high school it was 
pretty rock solid. 

233
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,880
I'd say so, yeah. 
I mean, I mean, and that's 

234
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,840
probably when she would say like
I was, I knew what she was doing

235
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,360
ish. 
Like some of that stuff I wasn't

236
00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,200
seeing through either. 
But then I started to catch on 

237
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,120
or I knew like what her friends 
were doing. 

238
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,800
But she was good at the double 
life. 

239
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,640
Like, I mean, I don't think I, I
guessed everything that was 

240
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,480
going on until later on and 
then, or like she filled in the 

241
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,840
blanks for me. 
But I would say it was about the

242
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:47,120
time I was getting married that 
like Stephanie, like met Tyler 

243
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,720
right after I got married. 
Yeah, yeah. 

244
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:54,000
Which it was crazy because she 
was telling me a story about her

245
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,760
and Tyler like yesterday about 
how he was about to move to 

246
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,840
England and then they met 
literally the month before he 

247
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,280
was moving. 
So tell us a little bit. 

248
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,680
How old were you then? 
Right after graduation or. 

249
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:10,920
Oh no, I was 21, I met him but I
had just moved out of my parents

250
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,440
house. 
I was living with my best friend

251
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,160
at the time and was very much 
like, I'm not going to date, 

252
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,600
like, this is going to be like 
my time, just like being an 

253
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,840
adult and not having my parents 
know, like being on my back 

254
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:26,800
about everything. 
But I ended up meeting him in 

255
00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:32,240
December of 2017 and on our 
first date as he's like, pick me

256
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,200
up and he's like driving us to 
dinner. 

257
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,040
He was just like, oh, yeah. 
So I'm moving to England next 

258
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,560
month. 
He's in the military, He's in 

259
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:43,920
the Air Force. 
And I was like, oh, this seems 

260
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:46,760
pointless. 
Like this isn't what I thought. 

261
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,800
I thought he was stationed at 
Robbins and that that would just

262
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:54,200
be what it was. 
So we I was just like more 

263
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,240
myself than I've ever been. 
I think with any guy that I'd 

264
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,400
ever dated at that point in my 
life, because there was no 

265
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,160
pressure, I thought I would 
never see him again. 

266
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,040
Like that's just the truth. 
The end of the night I gave him 

267
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,280
a side hug and was like, this 
was fun but bye. 

268
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,000
Like yeah. 
And we ended up hanging out for 

269
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:17,160
the next 4 weeks until he moved 
and still actually still lying 

270
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:20,920
and deceitful because I didn't 
tell my parents or Kim about him

271
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:25,040
because at that point I was like
I don't want one more failed 

272
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,560
relationship out in the open for
my family. 

273
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:31,600
And just I mean not to get into 
it, but on our last relationship

274
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:36,360
I called her out part on it and 
so I think I had lost some trust

275
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:40,360
on with her because she didn't 
like my take on the relationship

276
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:45,040
and so it did. 
Kind of I wanted privacy at that

277
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,960
point because I, I was tired of 
like my dating life being a 

278
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:52,360
conversation for the family. 
So I just wanted to keep it 

279
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,160
private and I didn't know where 
it was going. 

280
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,600
He was moving to a different 
country. 

281
00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:02,840
So we did long distance and I 
was going to go in March to go 

282
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,240
see him. 
I'd already bought plane 

283
00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,880
tickets. 
I had done everything. 

284
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,280
And then it was like I'm going 
to a different country. 

285
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:10,280
I should probably tell my family
this. 

286
00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,600
Is a good time to bring it up? 
Probably, yeah. 

287
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:17,480
And so I think I, I might have 
even told my mom first because 

288
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,800
my mom was in the Army, my dad 
was in the Air Force. 

289
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,400
So like, I thought maybe my mom 
will get it just a little bit. 

290
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,920
Like she'll understand that he's
in a different country, I want 

291
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,640
to see him, that kind of thing. 
And I didn't live in their 

292
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,880
house, so I knew they couldn't 
tell me that I couldn't go, but 

293
00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,480
that if they could tell me that 
I shouldn't go. 

294
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,960
I don't really remember how I 
ended up telling you. 

295
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,240
Very passively. 
And you didn't say you were 

296
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,640
going to England like she told 
me about him and then you were 

297
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,320
like, and he lives in England. 
But she, I mean, she already 

298
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,840
told I. 
Was probably trying to talk him 

299
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,560
up like hey guys, this is a good
guy. 

300
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:55,160
I met him and like, I'm just 
like trying to like get that 

301
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,120
approval first to then drop the 
bomb. 

302
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,400
Up and she says he lives in 
England and I go when are you in

303
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,680
England? 
I'm not. 

304
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:06,800
He'll come back here next and I 
said OK, and I think a week 

305
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,680
later she goes, so I'm going to 
England. 

306
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:13,400
Matter of fact I lied but I am 
going and I really like him so. 

307
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,520
And that probably was like the 
last big lie of. 

308
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,240
Truly. 
Because after that. 

309
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,360
There was nothing, Tyler. 
Really changed you basically is 

310
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,800
where we're getting. 
Was there anything in that, 

311
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,880
because we jumped a little bit 
from like high school to 21, was

312
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,360
there anything that was like 
super standout ish at that time 

313
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:36,280
period or? 
Like 18 to 21 was pretty bad. 

314
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:41,000
Yeah. 
I think graduating high school, 

315
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:43,440
you get out of like, I'm not in 
a small group. 

316
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,360
I go to church like I'm going on
Sunday. 

317
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:50,840
But that like I didn't have, I 
wasn't hanging out with people 

318
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,240
from a small group or something 
like that. 

319
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:56,200
Like, there was no someone who's
like, keeping me accountable or 

320
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,560
even I'm hanging out with people
who are OK with what we're doing

321
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:03,920
and not someone who's like, why 
are you here? 

322
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:05,520
They're all like, well, we're 
all at the bar. 

323
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,359
So it's all like, no one's 
judging me for that. 

324
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:14,400
But yeah, like, I love to drink,
love to party, love to go visit 

325
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,680
my friends in college because I 
stayed home for college. 

326
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,280
And so I love to go see them 
and, like, do all of that. 

327
00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,319
And again, like not flaunting 
any of that. 

328
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,960
I was very like, I don't post 
about that on social media. 

329
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:29,880
My brother works at the church. 
My parents are really involved 

330
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:33,240
in the church. 
So I was keeping that like 

331
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,400
people new. 
But I'm not posting about it. 

332
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:39,400
But yeah, like 18 and 21 was my 
wild just. 

333
00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:43,440
I didn't care. 
And yeah. 

334
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,920
So God sent Tyler at the right 
time is what y'all were saying. 

335
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,480
So you go to England and we 
date. 

336
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,320
For. 
Hops off, you're like, this is 

337
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:57,840
my man. 
Yes, we dated long distance for 

338
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:02,280
a year and a half, flying back 
and forth, taking turns doing 

339
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,000
that. 
And yeah, we never broke up. 

340
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,800
Nothing like that. 
Like it was hard. 

341
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,880
It was really hard, but for me, 
it was the best dating 

342
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,320
relationship I'd ever had 
because all we could do was 

343
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,400
talk. 
So I all we could do was over 

344
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,880
communicate. 
Like if anything, I was slightly

345
00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:23,280
upset about he's going to know 
because I can either ignore his 

346
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:27,160
text message or my tone changes 
on the phone like whatever it 

347
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,720
is, and he would just what will 
just tell me. 

348
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,520
And so we were just honest with 
each other and there was just no

349
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:36,720
other things that usually get in
the way in a relationship. 

350
00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,920
Like none of that could get in 
the way. 

351
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,080
We're just going to talk about 
it. 

352
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:44,400
And that's what I needed. 
I needed someone like that and 

353
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,800
not to get like the physical 
aspect. 

354
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:50,280
That's usually the distraction. 
So we dated for a year and a 

355
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,800
half and then he proposed in 
June of 2019. 

356
00:18:54,280 --> 00:19:00,120
And I think we, we went away for
like a day and we were coming 

357
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,960
back and we're like, everyone's 
going to be asking us when are 

358
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,320
we getting married and 
everything. 

359
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,720
And I was like, I guess we have 
to wait like maybe next year and

360
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,320
stuff. 
And I remember saying that to, I

361
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,720
know my mom, maybe you. 
And they were like, no one 

362
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,680
expects you guys to wait for 
like a long engagement. 

363
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:17,720
You guys have been apart for so 
long. 

364
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,760
So we ended up having a 5 month 
engagement, turning around, 

365
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,360
getting married in November of 
2019. 

366
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,680
And a week later I moved to 
England with him. 

367
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:30,200
Nice. 
Wow, so going back to a little 

368
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,800
bit about that first year and a 
half where y'all are dating and 

369
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,040
you know, all you're saying is 
y'all can only overly 

370
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:38,800
communicate, right? 
And that just makes me think 

371
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:42,080
like y'all had such a good 
foundation of friendship and 

372
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,200
being able to like understand 
each other in a deeper level 

373
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,560
because like we can be in person
and we can have these surface 

374
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,480
level, you know, conversations. 
But for y'all like y'all are 

375
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,120
digging deep, you know, like 
y'all are having to learn each 

376
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,120
other from this long distance. 
So then when you do get 

377
00:19:57,120 --> 00:20:01,280
together, it's like love is 
blind, you know, but y'all 

378
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,880
aren't blind, but like y'all 
just understand more. 

379
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,160
All right, so you moved to 
England and then you're kind of 

380
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,960
there. 
We don't have to go really deep 

381
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,800
into England, but maybe you can 
tell us a little bit about what 

382
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,200
your day-to-day looks like, 
right? 

383
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,960
Because you pick up and move 
away from your family. 

384
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,920
That's all you've ever known as 
Warner Robins. 

385
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:21,440
Now you're living in another 
country by yourself and just 

386
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,160
your husband. 
So what does that look like too?

387
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:27,840
Because you're 1 of marriage, 
y'all only know each other. 

388
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,920
You know, basically 
communicating. 

389
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,960
Over and for like a week visit 
at a time. 

390
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,600
So tell us a little bit about 
that. 

391
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,760
First time living with a guy, so
there's that. 

392
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:41,800
I left my job behind here that I
loved and I was, we knew that I 

393
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,880
wasn't going to be working in 
England, just like working in a 

394
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,640
different country was going to 
be a lot of hoops to jump 

395
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,840
through. 
So I'm just sitting at home all 

396
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,560
day waiting for him to get home,
trying to be the perfect wife, 

397
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,600
like making sure that he like 
I'm, I'm not bringing in money. 

398
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,520
So like the house is clean, 
cooked dinner, all those things 

399
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,440
like what I thought I needed to 
be doing. 

400
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,680
And I was really, really lonely.
Driving on the other side of the

401
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:05,720
road wasn't my favorite thing. 
So I'm not just going out and 

402
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,960
doing things when he's at work. 
I'm waiting for him to get home 

403
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:12,840
so that he's driving us. 
And we didn't really have 

404
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:14,960
friends. 
Like we had people that we knew 

405
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,080
that he worked with and we'd get
together sometimes, but that was

406
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,280
a lot drinking, like, you know, 
whatever. 

407
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,040
Like pub culture is the big 
thing in England. 

408
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,840
And I would say I had people to 
do things with, but I was 

409
00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,520
waiting on them to invite me. 
And I'm still like looking for 

410
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,000
that approval of please, just 
like me enough to invite me to 

411
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:35,280
Get Me Out of the house. 
And a lot of phone calls to Kim 

412
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,120
and my mom because I was so 
lonely that I just wanted 

413
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:40,680
someone to talk to. 
Our first year marriage was we 

414
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,760
didn't have issues, like it 
wasn't a hard transition for us 

415
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:48,240
to be living together and it 
wasn't hard like a marriage 

416
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,320
wasn't hard to me. 
And I think it's just how we are

417
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:55,240
together that we really are. 
I remember coming home the first

418
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,200
time and just telling everyone 
we're partners. 

419
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,720
Like that is what Tyler is to 
me. 

420
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,600
He never made me feel less than 
for not working anytime. 

421
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,800
I'd be like, I'm I'm sorry that 
I didn't get to this today. 

422
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:10,040
He was like, I don't expect you,
you know, He wasn't looking for 

423
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,920
what I thought the perfect wife 
was. 

424
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,080
That wasn't the expectation that
he held for me. 

425
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,760
So y'all just really have a few 
friends that y'all basically 

426
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,400
just go to the pub with? 
So y'all aren't going to church 

427
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:23,000
or anything. 
No, we never even tried. 

428
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,480
I would like we would talk to 
some people and they'd be like, 

429
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,880
oh, we go to this church on 
base, but they didn't. 

430
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,320
Growing up at Southside for so 
long is a great thing, but it's 

431
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,800
also something to compare to. 
And there's not a lot of 

432
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,320
churches like Southside. 
And I felt like Southside was 

433
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,440
home and it was comfortable. 
So for me, I'm like, well, I 

434
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:47,240
rather listen to church online 
and know that it's J Ray 

435
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,600
preaching or The Who it's 
preaching and like know that 

436
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,480
it's going to be good rather 
than be a first time visitor in 

437
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,960
a church and be uncomfortable. 
I had never had to do that 

438
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:58,480
before. 
So we would talk about it, but 

439
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,640
there was no I didn't want to do
it. 

440
00:23:00,760 --> 00:23:02,440
I didn't want to be the new 
person. 

441
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,960
What so with you Kim? 
Like you're having to watch your

442
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,680
younger sister go through all 
this like lonely seasons? 

443
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:12,080
Did you know that she was in a 
lonely season per SE or? 

444
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,520
Yeah, I did know that she was 
lonely. 

445
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,440
I try to fix that with like, 
calling her every single day for

446
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:20,160
an hour. 
I was pregnant with Cohen pretty

447
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:24,680
quickly into her moving over 
there, which she was kind of mad

448
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,240
about, but. 
I called her. 

449
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,400
Every morning on my way to work 
because she's six hours ahead of

450
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,200
time. 
So when I'm calling her first 

451
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,640
thing in the morning, she's 
eating lunch. 

452
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,960
So I loved that time difference.
I do not like Hawaii. 

453
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,400
And so I would call her every 
single day because I was tired 

454
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,880
on my way to work. 
And then honestly, I think I'd 

455
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,440
usually call you on the way home
too. 

456
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,840
Or she had already be on the 
phone with my mom. 

457
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,200
Like we literally were two hours
of her day, at least on the 

458
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,720
phone every single day. 
We did know she was lonely. 

459
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,320
It also was during COVID, so 
none of us ever got to go over 

460
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,080
and see them there. 
We had planned a trip, but then 

461
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,160
I was pregnant and thought, 
well, there's no reason to try 

462
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,640
and risk going over there and 
getting stuck over there. 

463
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,720
Because that happened a couple 
of times where she couldn't come

464
00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:12,320
back to visit us. 
Or she'd come visit us, go back,

465
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,960
and she's stuck because all of a
sudden the country's back. 

466
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,840
Unlocked, I'd have to like 
quarantine for two weeks once I 

467
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,480
would get back and then after 
that, like you're counting down 

468
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,880
to get to like get out of the 
house again and then the country

469
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,320
would lock down again. 
And so then it's like, oh, for 

470
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,880
four or six more weeks. 
I couldn't even go. 

471
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,600
We had friends that lived across
the street. 

472
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,520
I could see into their backyard 
from our window. 

473
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,760
I couldn't even go sit in their 
backyard 6 feet away. 

474
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,120
We couldn't do it. 
Like we could not be around 

475
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,720
other people. 
It was like one walk a day. 

476
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:43,760
I couldn't go to the grocery 
store with Tyler. 

477
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,760
Only one person from your 
household could go. 

478
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,640
This is sounding like hands maid
tail for real. 

479
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:50,000
I don't know if y'all seen that 
that's probably not a good Don't

480
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:54,800
go watch it Don't There was BC 
it was BC it was BC so like Oh 

481
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,480
my gosh it. 
Was like when I say I went 

482
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,320
probably 6 or 8 weeks at one 
point where the only human I saw

483
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,640
was Tyler. 
Like he's getting to go to work 

484
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,320
and he's getting to see people 
and talk and like life is still 

485
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,680
kind of normal. 
Yeah, we're not going out after 

486
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,720
work, but I am literally stuck 
in the house. 

487
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,080
And then add that let's so 
that's our second year of 

488
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,040
marriage is we thought moving to
England was going to be like 

489
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,760
this two year honeymoon of 
travel and all of these things. 

490
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,880
And it's not it's you're going 
to be stuck in the house 

491
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:28,440
together and watch a lot of TV 
and read a lot of books and that

492
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:28,880
was it. 
A. 

493
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:31,880
Whole new layer of getting to 
know one another. 

494
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:35,720
Like wow so y'all get stationed 
somewhere else? 

495
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:41,240
Yep, we get orders to Hawaii and
I remember, yeah, definitely 

496
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:42,400
didn't. 
Sound so terrible? 

497
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,280
Didn't ever think that we were 
going to get that assignment. 

498
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:48,680
It really was just like a we'll 
just put our name and just see 

499
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,480
what happens. 
And I remember the night before 

500
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,560
we like really submitted like 
what our, our list was. 

501
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:59,880
I couldn't sleep and I remember 
praying that like send us where 

502
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,000
it's going to be good to start a
family, like what's going to be 

503
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,400
best for our family and where 
we're going to grow. 

504
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,560
And I probably now that I look 
back at it, it was a selfish 

505
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,080
prayer of I never thought we 
were going to get those 

506
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,720
assignments and I wanted to go 
back to Warner Robins. 

507
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:19,680
So it was we're going to grow. 
Like best place to have our 

508
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,520
family start would be Warner 
Robins with our family where 

509
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:24,640
we're going to grow. 
We can go back to Southside and 

510
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,160
like we're going to get involved
in a church. 

511
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,440
Like I can see that now that 
that's what I wanted. 

512
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,480
So that's what I thought God 
would do. 

513
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:37,840
But we went to Hawaii and again,
it's a great place. 

514
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:42,240
But I had told, I think Jay Ray,
right, that I came here before 

515
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:44,120
moving to Hawaii and just to 
visit family. 

516
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:47,880
And I remember telling him like,
I'm so excited to find a church 

517
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:49,360
this time. 
Like right away. 

518
00:26:49,360 --> 00:26:53,720
We need to find a church and get
plugged in and they're going to 

519
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,000
do it again because it's still 
uncomfortable, it's still hard. 

520
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,080
And I didn't know people who are
going to church. 

521
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,840
So like, there's not that 
invitation. 

522
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:06,920
So definitely happier in Hawaii.
And obviously like there's just,

523
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,320
I didn't realize how depressed I
was in England until I got to 

524
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,960
Hawaii and I was like, oh, 
that's what depression feels 

525
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,760
like. 
I ended up getting pregnant in 

526
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:21,760
September of 2022, so our first 
year there and people are 

527
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,280
visiting us like it's just like 
life is going good at this 

528
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:28,920
point, but we're still missing 
that church plugged in that 

529
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:31,000
community aspect. 
We have friends but not 

530
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,520
community. 
I would say when Kate was about 

531
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:38,280
like 8 months old, someone in 
our neighborhood Facebook group 

532
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,880
posted that she just wanted to 
get together in the park once a 

533
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,240
week. 
She homeschooled her kids and 

534
00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:48,040
she said every Monday at 9:00 
we're going to be in the park. 

535
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,680
And I would love to get moms who
are seeking community together 

536
00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:55,760
to pray and just do motherhood 
together. 

537
00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,080
And I remember seeing it and 
that is so far outside of my 

538
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:04,760
comfort zone to go meet a 
stranger and like finding 

539
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,760
community that way. 
I just felt like I needed to 

540
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,520
know about someone first to be 
like, are we going to be a good 

541
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,760
fit or not? 
But I just felt this push to 

542
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,160
just do it, like just go. 
And Tyler even said he was worst

543
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,200
case scenario, you never see her
again. 

544
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:20,600
Like it's not a big deal. 
And I ended up going the next 

545
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:24,120
day and I think there was one 
other mom there maybe. 

546
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:28,720
And I just started becoming 
friends with Andrea was the mom 

547
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:32,280
who invited us and I would go 
every week and we would just 

548
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,760
talk right away. 
She's like, here's my number if 

549
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,360
you ever need anything. 
She asked if we went to church 

550
00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:39,160
and I was like, no, we haven't 
found a church. 

551
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,960
We're open to it. 
But Kate is still napping all 

552
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:44,200
the time. 
She's napping on me. 

553
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,560
So I wasn't going to put her in 
a nursery. 

554
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,880
There was just all these things.
I was like, I'm not ready. 

555
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,560
But we stayed friends and we 
would hang out. 

556
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:56,080
And then she finally was like, 
hey, our community group is 

557
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,800
going to get together for the 
4th of July. 

558
00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:00,560
You and Tyler should come. 
And me and Tyler both were like,

559
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,320
Are you sure? 
Like we're not, we don't go to 

560
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,520
your church. 
We're not in your community 

561
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:04,800
group. 
And she was like, everyone would

562
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:07,920
love for you to come. 
And we went and everyone's so 

563
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,400
nice, so welcoming. 
No one was really pushing the 

564
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,400
fact that we weren't going to 
church, but they're like, can't 

565
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,760
wait till you can come. 
And that's so that would have 

566
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,920
been July. 
And I think we, we started 

567
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:22,080
watching online and so that we 
could go to small group and talk

568
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,840
like be in the community group. 
And then we started going to 

569
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:28,080
church after that. 
And I think again, after all of 

570
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:32,440
that, I could see that my excuse
for not going to a church was 

571
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,800
always just going to church 
isn't going to mean that I found

572
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:38,000
community. 
You have to go to church and 

573
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,360
talk to people. 
Me and Tyler are both pretty 

574
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,600
quiet people. 
And I knew that I would go and 

575
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:45,760
then leave right after. 
I'm not going to hang out and 

576
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:50,440
meet people. 
So God answered that in a big 

577
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:52,120
way. 
He used my excuse and he said, 

578
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,800
OK, well I'm going to give you 
community and you're going to 

579
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:55,880
get plugged in with these 
people. 

580
00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,960
So the first Sunday we went to 
church, I had people to talk to 

581
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,040
during greeting. 
After church, we had people to 

582
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,400
talk to and hang out with. 
I didn't feel like the new 

583
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,480
outsider. 
It didn't feel uncomfortable. 

584
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:09,080
And that was my specific excuse 
that God was like, this is where

585
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,960
you're supposed to be. 
These are the people that you 

586
00:30:10,960 --> 00:30:13,480
need to be with. 
And I don't know if we would 

587
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,320
have even found that church if 
it hadn't been for Andrea just. 

588
00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:22,960
The power of an invite, truly. 
And that really is, is that she,

589
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,040
she knew that like, I was a 
Christian and, you know, stuff 

590
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:28,400
like that. 
But I wouldn't have gone if she 

591
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,800
wouldn't have brought it up. 
And that's huge. 

592
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,680
I think. 
How often did, like, Christians 

593
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,320
actually invite people to 
church? 

594
00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,360
And our pastor says it a lot 
there. 

595
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:41,800
It's 2 percent, 2% of Christians
a year invite people to church. 

596
00:30:42,240 --> 00:30:44,960
And that's really sad. 
And it changed my life. 

597
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,360
It changed Tyler's and my 
daughter's life. 

598
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:49,720
Like we would still just be 
sitting at home on Sundays 

599
00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:51,560
because we wouldn't have done in
ourselves. 

600
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:56,520
I know that's on us that it's 
not, I can still go find a 

601
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,600
church. 
But that invitation to just make

602
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:00,920
you feel more comfortable, 
that's something that I'm like, 

603
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,560
wow, that changed my life. 
I need to do that for people. 

604
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,360
Like I need to make people feel 
welcomed when they come. 

605
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:11,480
How does it look being a part of
a different church now in Hawaii

606
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,680
with another group of people? 
Like, you've only ever known 

607
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:16,040
Southside. 
You didn't go to church in 

608
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:17,520
England. 
Like, so this is a whole new 

609
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,320
community. 
So when you finally do get 

610
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:23,360
plugged in there, like, are you 
starting to feel any difference?

611
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,880
Let's see any differences like 
in your spiritual walk now 

612
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:28,680
because this is now out of your 
comfort zone. 

613
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:30,720
Yeah, it was the best thing for 
me. 

614
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,320
I think growing up in Southside,
it was like she's a Coleman on. 

615
00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:40,240
There's like a pressure almost 
of like you can't mess up, you 

616
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,000
shouldn't like she's a 
Christian, like she's good. 

617
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,360
I think here no one knowing who 
I was, there's like this 

618
00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:50,440
comfortability in that and that 
I felt like I could talk more 

619
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,920
openly about like what I'm 
struggling with or like what we 

620
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,120
need. 
I didn't have to have like a 

621
00:31:55,120 --> 00:32:01,280
facade of who I was. 
And so a few months into like 

622
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:05,680
going to church and being part 
of a small group, I started 

623
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:12,280
wrestling with am IA Christian 
or am I like, do I believe? 

624
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:17,360
Do I just believe in God? 
And I wasn't talking to anyone 

625
00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,040
about that. 
It was a really private thing 

626
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:24,320
because it was I was very 
confused and I just remember 

627
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,120
January 1st we started the 
church, started a challenge of 

628
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:31,200
just read the Bible in a year, 
something I'd always wanted to 

629
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:35,200
do, something I had tried before
but stopped really early on. 

630
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:40,880
And I started doing that and I 
didn't even, it was so early on,

631
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,200
but I was like, I have. 
Never done this. 

632
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:50,000
I have been a Christian my whole
life and I've I used to brag 

633
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:51,840
about how many books I had to 
read in a year. 

634
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:55,400
And I was like I. 
Have never read the Bible like 

635
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,960
it might be a check mark that I 
would do for a few weeks that I 

636
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:03,520
just felt like I was hearing 
messages for the first time with

637
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:08,560
completely different mindset and
the Bible just going How have I 

638
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:14,000
neglected this my whole life? 
How much easier life could have 

639
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:18,800
been if I would have known that 
there was this love letter of 

640
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:23,240
how to do life. 
And I just remember one night I 

641
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:27,920
was sitting in bed and as I read
every day when I would 

642
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,120
highlight, I would go back and 
write what I highlighted on note

643
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,920
cards of scripture so that I 
could go back and read. 

644
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,080
Once you know, you get past 
something you kind of forget. 

645
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,680
So I wanted to have a scripture 
to go back to the this stuck out

646
00:33:38,680 --> 00:33:40,760
to me. 
And so I was just going back and

647
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,360
writing scripture and I had 
worship music playing and I just

648
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,840
from revealing this pool of like
you have never surrendered your 

649
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:52,800
life to me. 
And I got down on my knees and I

650
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:59,320
knew, Oh my God, I have believed
in you and I've prayed to you 

651
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,920
when I wanted to and when I 
needed something. 

652
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:03,960
And I've thanked you like there 
was that. 

653
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:10,560
I knew of him, but I didn't know
him and there was no desire to 

654
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:14,600
get to know him and to grow. 
And I think if your faith has 

655
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:19,719
never changed since you were a 
kid, that's not that's not 

656
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,560
something to be proud of. 
We should be growing. 

657
00:34:22,639 --> 00:34:27,239
And I just, I was ready to 
finally grow and know who he 

658
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:30,840
was. 
And even at that point, I'm 

659
00:34:30,840 --> 00:34:32,719
still not. 
I didn't tell anyone about that 

660
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:36,400
night because it's still one. 
I was like, that's a weird 

661
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:36,960
thing. 
I don't. 

662
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:40,920
I don't want to tell people. 
That it almost felt like I had 

663
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:42,560
been faking it. 
Like I didn't want people to 

664
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,520
think I had all the right 
answers. 

665
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,360
Like I'm sitting in our small 
group and I can answer things. 

666
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:51,159
I can tell you about things that
happened in the Bible or give 

667
00:34:51,159 --> 00:34:53,600
you advice. 
I so I didn't want people to 

668
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,000
think that I've been faking it. 
I didn't know that I had been 

669
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:01,360
faking it up until that moment. 
And I think Kim was the first 

670
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,080
person I started talking about 
it with that I was just like, 

671
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,400
I'm just, I'm trying to figure 
it out, like what this means? 

672
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:13,880
Like I know that I'm saved now, 
but what did it mean before? 

673
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:18,280
And I just. 
Started port like. 

674
00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:20,480
Listening to any message that I 
could listen to. 

675
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,080
Like I remember one day I'm like
sending her links to messages 

676
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:24,680
and she goes, what have you been
doing all day? 

677
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:27,520
Just listening to sermons. 
And I was like, yes, that's what

678
00:35:27,640 --> 00:35:29,400
that's what I was doing it. 
But pause looking. 

679
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,080
For an explanation, how do I 
define what, what's going on 

680
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,360
right now? 
And it we both kind of went back

681
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,080
and forth on it and it just was 
as like, it's salvation. 

682
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:44,320
This is salvation. 
This this is like knowing God 

683
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:49,280
and growing in God and not just 
checking off the boxes. 

684
00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:51,960
It would have been more 
comfortable to just stay the 

685
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,480
same. 
There was a lot to to come out 

686
00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,840
and tell people that like, hey, 
this is what I'm going through 

687
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:02,680
that was really uncomfortable. 
There is, I would say, honestly,

688
00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:06,320
a huge thing was actually your 
podcast of like hearing people 

689
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:12,320
not just say, hey, I was this 
bad person. 

690
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,080
I got saved and everything's 
good. 

691
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:18,160
But like there, there is still 
sit and struggle after 

692
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,360
salvation. 
And I don't think Christians 

693
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,120
talk about that a lot. 
I think we like to have this 

694
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:27,600
life is good and life is perfect
and I don't mess up anymore, but

695
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,680
we do. 
We're sinners still. 

696
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,720
And just being able to talk 
about that and have a realness 

697
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:36,000
to that, like through your 
podcast of hearing all these 

698
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:40,360
people that are in church. 
And it just made me feel OK. 

699
00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:42,120
Like there was a little bit 
explanation in that. 

700
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:46,800
And there is a message from Jay 
Ray that two years ago had just 

701
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:50,440
stuck out to me. 
And I just, it never left the 

702
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:53,400
back of my mind. 
And I wasn't even at church when

703
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,320
he preached that service. 
I watched it online and I 

704
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,960
finally went back and found it 
and I listened to it and it was 

705
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,160
about the parable of being a 
weed or a weed. 

706
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:06,880
And they grow together and we'll
never know until the day God 

707
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:10,720
comes back when we're separated 
and you can look like a 

708
00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:13,400
Christian and you're be standing
in the gates of hell. 

709
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:19,320
And he was like, your pride, 
like losing your pride means 

710
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:24,920
nothing or eternity in hell. 
And so that was probably where I

711
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:26,840
was like, OK, that's what it 
was. 

712
00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,640
I was a weed. 
I can look like a Christian. 

713
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:33,120
I can sound like a Christian, 
but I wasn't. 

714
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,400
And I'd already said the 
prayers. 

715
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,280
And at that point, the church 
had put out that they were going

716
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,160
to be doing a baptism Sunday. 
And I knew right away, like, OK,

717
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,600
I want to get baptized. 
Yes, I've been baptized as a 

718
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,560
child. 
But that, I would even say was 

719
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,840
probably like, I knew it was the
next thing to do as a kid, but 

720
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,160
it also was like, let me do this
in front of everyone. 

721
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,400
Like this is the next, you know?
It was a dunk, It was. 

722
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:59,040
Approval. 
Yeah, It was let me get the next

723
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:02,920
thing of approval for people. 
I would have got baptized in 

724
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:06,080
Hawaii if not in another person 
I knew was going to be there. 

725
00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,920
Like I wanted to do that. 
At that point, Tyler also 

726
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:13,000
decided to get baptized, too. 
It was a personal choice. 

727
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:16,680
The first time he was baptized. 
It wasn't exactly his decision 

728
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,520
to be baptized. 
So we just started talking about

729
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:22,040
it. 
We wanted to do it together. 

730
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:24,880
It felt like it was for me and 
God that time. 

731
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:29,040
Like, yes, it's a public display
for other people too, but it 

732
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,720
wasn't like Kim had joked, 
You're like, can't you wait till

733
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,640
I'm in Hawaii? 
Like to do like I want to be 

734
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,760
there for you. 
And I would have loved to have 

735
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,720
my family there. 
But it was almost even better 

736
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,000
that it was like just me and 
Tyler and the church that we're 

737
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,800
now in and like the way the 
church showed up for us because 

738
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,880
we don't do it in church like 
most churches. 

739
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,400
We actually go after church and 
we go down to the beach and did 

740
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,040
it. 
So it was like the fact that 

741
00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:55,600
people came back after, you 
know, they might have gone to 

742
00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:58,520
1st service or whatever. 
It was like the church showed up

743
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,600
for us and they didn't know us. 
And it was just one of the most 

744
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,360
beautiful things to to 
experience. 

745
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,040
I made a joke with Kim when she 
told me that you got re baptized

746
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:08,160
and I was like, what? 
On the beach? 

747
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,800
And she was like, no, yeah, 
yeah, on the beach in Hawaii. 

748
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,520
She got baptized. 
And I was like, Oh my gosh, that

749
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,840
is so amazing. 
I think something really cool 

750
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,880
too that we were talking about 
with our small group afterwards 

751
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:20,600
is that like you usually get 
baptized in the church around 

752
00:39:20,600 --> 00:39:23,960
other believers. 
We got baptized on the beaches 

753
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:28,320
of Hawaii where most people are 
not believers and have people 

754
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,120
like watching and seeing that is
like even like we had someone 

755
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,240
come up afterwards and like, 
what is this what church you 

756
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:35,320
get? 
Like just asking. 

757
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,080
And I think even that was really
cool to see, like your 

758
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,640
testimony, like right there what
we decided that day already had 

759
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:44,560
people asking questions. 
Absolutely. 

760
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:49,920
So let's kind of jump into what 
y'all sisterhood looks like now 

761
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:53,280
maybe, right? 
Because you just said you had a 

762
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,080
big change in your life. 
You saw fruit start coming from 

763
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,960
this new decision. 
You know, like, how does that 

764
00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:02,560
change y'all's relationship? 
I think it changed our 

765
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:07,160
conversations. 1000% it. 
We used to joke that we would 

766
00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:11,320
have a podcast and it would have
been absolutely about pop 

767
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,680
culture and The Bachelor. 
Reality TV and gossip like that,

768
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,720
it really is. 
The only gossip? 

769
00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:21,800
And I feel like through that 
time of me figuring things out, 

770
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,960
we were like helping each other.
We're sending messages to each 

771
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:29,640
other podcast like it just did, 
like we're talking about like 

772
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,640
our faith now. 
And that's just not something 

773
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:35,160
that we ever were like bonding. 
Over no, definitely not bonding 

774
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,520
over it might like be like, oh, 
you should check out this 

775
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:39,160
message. 
J Ray just did a really good 

776
00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:42,920
message or Pastor Benny did a 
great message like tune like you

777
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:47,520
should TuneIn so. 
But three months ago you invited

778
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:53,800
me to the Grove, Alexis and I. 
I told you at the end of the 

779
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,440
night, like, that message wasn't
for you, like you were ready to 

780
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,880
get up and leave, which is fine.
But I went down to the altar 

781
00:40:59,880 --> 00:41:03,480
that night because that whole 
message, I just was shrinking in

782
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:07,120
my chair, like more and more. 
Because you talked about the way

783
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:10,640
her brother had bullied her 
growing up and the entire 

784
00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:15,200
message, I had never looked back
at the way I treated Stephanie. 

785
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,400
So we're bringing it back to the
beginning. 

786
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,600
I didn't see how that was 
shaping her. 

787
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,920
It shaped herself worth into 
making those decisions. 

788
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,560
And I'm not going to take, you 
know, full blame by any means, 

789
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,600
but her insecurities were 
because of me and the way I 

790
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:37,320
talked to her and the things I 
made her believe about herself 

791
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:42,240
were because of the way I lashed
out of my insecurities. 

792
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:45,320
And that was the first time I'd 
ever looked at God's lens. 

793
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:50,240
And the worst part is, and this 
is what I truly apologize for a 

794
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:56,280
day later was me and my mom, We 
laugh about it now. 

795
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,880
We make jokes about it now and 
like expect her to laugh with 

796
00:41:59,880 --> 00:42:02,320
us. 
And she usually does play it 

797
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,480
off. 
But I had never looked through 

798
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:11,640
God's lens and thought about 
that was not OK at all. 

799
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,920
I think I even like played it 
off as like, well, that's what 

800
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:17,280
Big Sisters are for. 
We shape you now you're, you 

801
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,760
know, a stronger person for it. 
Like haha. 

802
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:26,520
So like that night, I like I 
said, I broke down, felt 

803
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:31,680
horrible, prayed and something I
almost pray daily now is riding 

804
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,920
me of myself like stop letting 
me look through light, like life

805
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,360
through my lens. 
I need to look through God's 

806
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:40,440
lens, what is placing him, what 
is honoring him? 

807
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,200
I have kids. 
I don't want Cohen to do that to

808
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,040
Mallory. 
I don't want Mallory to do that 

809
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:49,000
to Cohen. 
I can't stand that I did that to

810
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,840
her. 
So the very next day we were on 

811
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:55,920
the phone and I was trying to 
work it up to getting to tell 

812
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,160
her we have little ones that 
don't care for deep 

813
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:03,080
conversations. 
So I think we finally we were 

814
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,320
kind of talking about the Grove 
and then all of a sudden it was 

815
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,840
like I got we got to go. 
I got to go like end this. 

816
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:15,360
And then I think it was the next
day we were texting and I don't 

817
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,320
know if. 
You sent it out of nowhere. 

818
00:43:18,200 --> 00:43:20,480
Yeah, I think it was something 
that popped up in my head 

819
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:24,080
though, like it doesn't matter, 
but it popped up in my head. 

820
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,240
And also I was like, you didn't 
get to it. 

821
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,720
You did not apologize for it. 
And it is something that you 

822
00:43:28,720 --> 00:43:30,240
could keep brushing under the 
rug. 

823
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:35,560
But I just felt like now is the 
time, like you need to apologize

824
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:38,240
for what you did. 
So I did text her out of the 

825
00:43:38,240 --> 00:43:41,160
blue and said, I know we're best
friends. 

826
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:44,000
I know you love me. 
It is the apology you never got.

827
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:48,640
But I am so sorry, like how that
affected you. 

828
00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:53,280
Now I can see like that wasn't, 
you know, dad issues or it 

829
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,440
wasn't, you know, anybody else's
like self worth talk to you. 

830
00:43:57,440 --> 00:43:59,480
It wasn't your fault that you 
did those things. 

831
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:04,600
Like I all sudden realized how 
much of A role I played in those

832
00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:08,080
years for her and. 
So I apologize. 

833
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,920
And the fruit of all of that was
Stephanie had been talking to 

834
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:15,840
her small group about it. 
She had been saying, you know, 

835
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:20,200
we don't like confrontation. 
She had been talking to them and

836
00:44:20,200 --> 00:44:22,120
saying, that's the apology I'll 
never get. 

837
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:25,400
I'm not going to ask for it 
because I don't want to bring it

838
00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,680
back up or make them. 
I, you know, the fear is that 

839
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,320
I'm going to make her feel silly
for even wanting an apology or 

840
00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:34,120
being like, I was so young. 
I, you know, whatever. 

841
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:37,360
Why do you care about that? 
We're 20 years down the road. 

842
00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:41,600
So I was like, she had been 
praying for or someone probably 

843
00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:45,320
was praying for you and your 
small group asking for that 

844
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:50,480
apology. 
So I feel like that's just like 

845
00:44:50,480 --> 00:44:54,320
the kind of things that like 
sisterhood and have changed for 

846
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,360
us. 
Is that taking ownership now as 

847
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,720
adults for our behavior? 
I think we're just like a lot 

848
00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:05,480
more encouraging to each other 
too of like we can talk about 

849
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,000
anything, but not just let it be
venting and complaining, but 

850
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:13,080
like encouraging each other and 
being a better wife, being a 

851
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:17,280
better mom. 
We can share anything and but 

852
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,560
just having that encouragement 
that I don't think we get from a

853
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:23,400
lot of people and we know each 
other, we know all of our 

854
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,960
faults, but we also can build 
each other up and know what we 

855
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:34,520
what we need. 
So you mentioned this about how 

856
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:38,400
the message wasn't for me that 
night, like I was getting up to 

857
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:43,800
leave and like look back and 
Kim's like crying and I'm like, 

858
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:46,840
Oh my gosh. 
So I, I got to say that in 

859
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:51,000
preface, you know what was going
on, because God speaks to us in 

860
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,960
so many different ways. 
And like, even though he didn't 

861
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,760
speak to me that day, like he 
spoke so boldly to you, like you

862
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:02,160
had a, like a revelation that 
night and you're like, I don't 

863
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,640
want to. 
I want to walk out of these 

864
00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:05,960
doors a better person than when 
I came right. 

865
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,280
And that's what we go to church 
like and always are praying for 

866
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,880
and all this like, I never want 
to go into these four walls and 

867
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,200
be the same person when I leave.
And for you that night, that 

868
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,040
completely changed. 
That was our first. 

869
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,360
Time going to the Grove together
and I. 

870
00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,240
Tried to walk out. 
But again goes back to the power

871
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:23,160
of an invitation. 
Like she wouldn't have gone to 

872
00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:25,400
the Grove by herself. 
I had been wanting to go. 

873
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:29,000
I mean, I just moved here six 
months ago and I had been 

874
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,080
wanting to go when I was living 
up there. 

875
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:33,320
It just, you know, looked like a
great night. 

876
00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:37,680
People are age. 
And it just so it was something 

877
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,160
that always kind of was just 
this pool like I would, I would 

878
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:41,320
love to go to something like 
that. 

879
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:44,000
And I started once we, you know,
we're living here. 

880
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,920
I started seeing it again. 
And I wasn't going by myself. 

881
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:48,840
Yeah. 
So Alexis invited me. 

882
00:46:49,880 --> 00:46:53,360
Well, you know too like that 
goes back into the he works all 

883
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:56,200
the things out for the good. 
Like all these little seeds that

884
00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,360
planted along the way when 
you're at Rock Springs, which 

885
00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:03,520
y'all probably heard about Rock 
Springs last week or whatever. 

886
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,840
I don't even know how to fake 
it. 

887
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:10,320
Like you had the idea about the 
well at Rock Springs. 

888
00:47:10,520 --> 00:47:12,840
Then you get here and we start 
talking. 

889
00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,880
I trauma dump on you the first 
day that we hang out and then I 

890
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,680
invite you to the Grove. 
And then like all these things 

891
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:24,400
just built up so that you and 
your sister can one, reconcile 

892
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,960
what had happened in the past. 
That's so big. 

893
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:30,120
That's so big to actually even 
admit, you know, to go back and 

894
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:34,280
say, I am so sorry that, you 
know, like I played a part in 

895
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:38,160
this insecurity and this life 
that you had to endure because 

896
00:47:38,200 --> 00:47:40,240
of how I acted towards you. 
That's so big. 

897
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:43,880
And then two, you know, just for
us to all sit down and talk 

898
00:47:43,880 --> 00:47:46,040
about the goodness and what he's
done in our lives. 

899
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,160
Like that is just so big. 
Yeah. 

900
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:53,000
As we begin to wrap up, as we 
begin to like, come to the end 

901
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:56,200
of this, is there some stuff 
that maybe you haven't said more

902
00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:01,240
so, Stephanie, that you really 
wanted to talk about or Kim, you

903
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:02,560
too? 
Like is there something that 

904
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:07,800
y'all really wanted to hit on? 
I think motherhood also has been

905
00:48:07,800 --> 00:48:13,520
like a really big visual for me 
of God's love that when I tell 

906
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:16,160
my daughter Kate, no, don't do 
that, no, don't do that. 

907
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:21,400
But it's not because I'm being 
mean or that I'm just whatever, 

908
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:23,080
that she, I don't want her to do
that. 

909
00:48:23,080 --> 00:48:24,320
It's like I'm trying to keep you
safe. 

910
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,520
I'm trying to protect you from 
something and yet she doesn't 

911
00:48:26,520 --> 00:48:29,880
understand that. 
But as I'm doing it sometimes to

912
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:32,480
her, as I'm telling her no over 
and over again, I'm like, man, 

913
00:48:32,760 --> 00:48:36,240
how many times did God tell me 
no, no, no, no, no. 

914
00:48:36,240 --> 00:48:39,600
And it wasn't because it's like,
I don't want you to do that, but

915
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:43,280
because he was protecting me and
I would ignore it and just 

916
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:47,240
seeing his love and that like I 
love my daughter so, so much. 

917
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:50,000
And it doesn't even compare to 
the way that God loves us. 

918
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:54,840
And I think that and just like 
the ministry of motherhood, I 

919
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:56,960
stay home with Kate and so I'm 
not working. 

920
00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:00,280
And so I think a lot of times we
can struggle with that of like, 

921
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:01,840
well, what is my ministry? 
Like? 

922
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,400
I'm what I need to be doing 
more. 

923
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,360
I need to be doing more. 
And I think motherhood is one of

924
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:09,680
the most beautiful ministries. 
And it's not just me and my my 

925
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:12,960
child, but it's anyone I come in
contact to. 

926
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:16,360
Like, I meet more people now 
just playing outside with her, 

927
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:20,320
meeting neighbors, meeting 
people in her gymnastics class, 

928
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,760
whatever it is. 
I am actually forced to talk to 

929
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:27,720
people now. 
And I, like, just can see these 

930
00:49:27,720 --> 00:49:31,880
little changes of telling 
someone what church I go to. 

931
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:33,840
And like, before, I probably 
would have been like, well, I 

932
00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:35,280
don't want to make them 
uncomfortable. 

933
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,360
And but now I'm like, if you 
need a church, you should come 

934
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:40,800
check out our church or, you 
know, or like just telling them 

935
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:42,800
that, you know, oh, yeah, we're 
in a community. 

936
00:49:42,800 --> 00:49:45,840
We're just like, I might not be 
pushing it on them, but just 

937
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:48,760
like those little seeds that I 
probably would have never even 

938
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:53,320
talked about before just to keep
them from being uncomfortable. 

939
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:58,640
And now I see it that Andrea, as
how she invited us to the park, 

940
00:49:58,640 --> 00:50:00,960
she had no, she wasn't trying to
get anyone saved. 

941
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:03,240
She wasn't trying to get anyone 
to church. 

942
00:50:03,240 --> 00:50:06,080
It really was just spending time
with other moms. 

943
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:10,280
And I see that now for myself, 
Like what can I be doing in 

944
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:13,600
motherhood? 
What is the the time I'm given 

945
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,880
that I get to stay home that 
most people don't get? 

946
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:19,160
What can I be doing with this? 
And we are military. 

947
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,320
I know that. 
And at the end of this year, 

948
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:23,360
we're going to move again. 
We don't know where we're moving

949
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:24,920
to and what that's going to look
like. 

950
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,080
Hopefully here like that's we're
all. 

951
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:30,560
But God's will, God's will. 
We know. 

952
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:31,600
We know. 
But yeah. 

953
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,440
But I think that's the biggest 
thing that I have to see now is,

954
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:38,120
you know, a few years ago, I was
praying, OK, where are we gonna 

955
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:39,040
grow? 
Where? 

956
00:50:39,040 --> 00:50:44,200
But like this time, No really 
like send us where we need to be

957
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:48,120
obviously for Tyler's job, but 
obviously like what can I be 

958
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,200
doing? 
What can I do for the Kingdom 

959
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,920
through motherhood and what that
ministry looks like for me? 

960
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,240
Yes, I love that. 
That is so good. 

961
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:00,440
One thing you said is like 
Andrea wasn't like seeking 

962
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:01,960
anything. 
Like she wasn't getting a 

963
00:51:01,960 --> 00:51:03,800
reward. 
And I really did see this TikTok

964
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:05,120
and they were like, what a 
Christian? 

965
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,080
Like, what do people think 
Christians are doing? 

966
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,600
Because I'm not getting anything
out if you come to church or 

967
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,280
save. 
Like I'm just trying to tell you

968
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:13,440
about the good news. 
I'm trying to help you lead this

969
00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:16,200
way, but like, I'm not 
personally getting a ball she. 

970
00:51:16,240 --> 00:51:18,640
Didn't get to see. 
But she didn't even get to, 

971
00:51:18,640 --> 00:51:20,680
we're military, we're all moving
at different times. 

972
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:23,040
She wasn't even there by the 
time I got baptized. 

973
00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:27,000
She was there for me to get into
a small group and maybe the 

974
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,080
first month of us being at 
church. 

975
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:32,360
And she even was saying, like, I
know a lot of people are moving 

976
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,680
out of your small group this 
year and you might want to join 

977
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,280
a different one because you to 
get more plugged in because 

978
00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,120
we're going to be there longer 
than the majority. 

979
00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:41,320
And she even was like, you know,
whatever makes you feel. 

980
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,800
And I was like, no, I think this
group is where we're supposed to

981
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,400
be. 
Like, this is what's you know, 

982
00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:49,000
And I remember texting her like,
I'm getting baptized and this is

983
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:51,040
what's going on. 
But she didn't even get to see. 

984
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:52,560
She didn't get to be there for 
that. 

985
00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:54,680
And I think that's sometimes we 
want that. 

986
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:58,520
We want to plant the seed, water
the seed, watch it bloom, we for

987
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:00,800
ourselves. 
And we're selfish in that way. 

988
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,280
But she didn't get to see all of
that. 

989
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:05,800
And it's still just as 
impactful. 

990
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:09,360
And she'll always be part of my 
testimony and how much that 

991
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,280
meant to me. 
Like it's huge. 

992
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,200
I love that. 
So is maybe Kim, do you have 

993
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:17,520
something that you want to wrap 
up today that I haven't really 

994
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:20,760
gave you the chance to talk 
about or say, or maybe you want 

995
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:22,720
to jump into about motherhood 
too? 

996
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,040
Because I'm just glad that we 
are getting to go through this. 

997
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:30,120
Our girls are like exactly 6 
months apart and they're 

998
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:34,040
FaceTime besties. 
Truly, Kate will wake up in the 

999
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:37,000
morning asking about meow meow 
and ready to talk to her. 

1000
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:39,960
But I am, I'm, I'm really proud 
of you. 

1001
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:44,640
I think you in some way, 
actually for years, I think 

1002
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:49,880
we've talked about this before, 
that I do look up to you for 

1003
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:52,120
your boldness, especially right 
now. 

1004
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:56,960
Like we said, like admitting all
of this is really difficult. 

1005
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,760
Your boldness and your 
resiliency in motherhood. 

1006
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,000
You are a better wife than I am,
I think a lot of the time. 

1007
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:09,440
But but you are that person I 
look up to too. 

1008
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:12,880
And I think that's why it's so 
easy to talk and be open with 

1009
00:53:12,880 --> 00:53:14,640
each other because now we do 
just that. 

1010
00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:18,800
Accountability is so powerful, 
even thousands of miles apart. 

1011
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:24,440
So sweet, Oh my gosh, I just 
think it's so sweet. 

1012
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,560
Like I don't have any siblings. 
So like when I was talking to 

1013
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:30,080
Kim about y'all coming on here, 
I was like, I really don't know 

1014
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:33,480
like the dynamics of sisters or 
siblings or anything. 

1015
00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:37,800
But like this has just been so 
special to like see the growth 

1016
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:42,400
that like just hear the growth I
guess and just to see y'all 

1017
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:44,680
together and like be able to 
hang out with y'all yesterday 

1018
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:47,360
and see, you know how y'all 
really are best friends. 

1019
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,320
Like just the way y'all talk and
your mannerisms, I'm like y'all 

1020
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:56,240
are twins separated by twins. 
Where have you been anyway? 

1021
00:53:56,720 --> 00:54:00,040
All right guys, I think this is 
a great stopping point. 

1022
00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,360
I hope y'all enjoyed this as 
much as I have. 

1023
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,120
This has been absolutely 
incredible. 

1024
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,400
So stay tuned, stay blessed, and
we'll see you guys later. 

1025
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:08,040
Bye.