1 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,600 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, your host with 2 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,320 praises in the pod and I'm so excited to be in the studio 3 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:18,680 today and just being able to record by myself and catch y'all 4 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,840 up on some things. We're going to start off in 5 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,520 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 6 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:25,600 So here we go. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 7 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,280 for all that you have been doing in my life and in this ministry 8 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,520 and everything that you have blessed me with. 9 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,680 Lord, I just pray that you call me right now. 10 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:38,080 Lord, I pray that I don't rush through this or just start 11 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,560 talking, just randomness. Lord, I just pray that you lead 12 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,760 me and guide me through this conversation. 13 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:48,560 In Jesus name I pray Amen. Amen guys. 14 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:54,320 So basically I have been having so many incredible announcements 15 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,800 for PITP. There has been a lot of changes, 16 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,120 obviously, one of them being our brand new studio. 17 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:06,160 If you know anything about me or maybe you are just tuning in for 18 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:09,680 the first time and you're like, what, what like what's going on? 19 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:17,200 So I will jump at anything. OK, I will make my mind up and 20 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,480 I'm running with an idea. And so this is that's what 21 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,920 happened with the podcast, right? 22 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,960 Like I one day was like, you know what, I want to start a 23 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:29,000 podcast and then a few weeks ago by I didn't jump on it that 24 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:33,720 fast, but a few weeks ago by and I'm like, no, for real, I'm 25 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,040 going to start it. So I literally go record an 26 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,200 episode, come up with a name, everything all in one night, act 27 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,520 like I've been planning this the whole entire time. 28 00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,880 Meanwhile, it was just a wild idea. 29 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,440 And then boom, it blossomed into this. 30 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,880 And so then I moved my studio home. 31 00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,320 I had a little living room area upstairs in my house that wasn't 32 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:56,720 being used. A few other rooms of my house 33 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,000 aren't being used either. But for some reason I thought 34 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:04,000 that would be like a good space. And trust me, it was so perfect 35 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,040 for the beginning of this chapter. 36 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:10,280 Like I enjoyed it more than you could ever even know. 37 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,080 I honestly, when I finished this room, finished putting it 38 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,480 together and everything and painting. 39 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,440 We'll get there. But when I finished this room, I 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,120 started mourning that room because I realized how much 41 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:29,160 growth and how much God had, like how present God has been in 42 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:33,720 all of these episodes so far. And like honestly, I think I 43 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:38,720 might have recorded 2 episodes somewhere like at the church 44 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:42,840 before I moved at home. So out of 38 episodes, I have 45 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,840 recorded every single one in that room. 46 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:48,720 And just so it was just like a big transition. 47 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:54,200 And while I was super excited to be in this space, I, you know, 48 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,000 just had to mourn it. It was change. 49 00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:00,880 It was different. And so ChatGPT has been working 50 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,520 wonders. If you have not jumped on this 51 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:07,680 chat sheet, GPTI say it wrong every single time. 52 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,840 But if you haven't jumped on that train, like you have some 53 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:14,400 willpower because I started and now I cannot stop. 54 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,040 Like, I love it. It just gives me ideas or like 55 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:24,440 it helps me reel in my ideas to make them actually feasible. 56 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:30,440 And so I have been wanting to have multiple people in the pod 57 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,400 at once, right? Like I want to have a group of 58 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,480 girls just sitting here like kicking around talking about 59 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:42,960 God, talking about the goodness, just just truly having girl talk 60 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,120 and guy talk. I'm going to open up the the pod 61 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,760 for more guys too, and to be able to really diverse this 62 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:55,840 thing and so make it more diverse, whatever. 63 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,600 Y'all know what I'm trying to say, but I've been wanting to do 64 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,160 that. But in that other space it just 65 00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:05,320 wasn't. It wasn't possible. 66 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:09,720 Like I could have the two chairs, I could have the couch. 67 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:13,960 But like when I tried to put it on camera, it wouldn't turn out 68 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:17,880 the way I wanted it to. And so I had that idea. 69 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:20,959 And then more recently I started looking at this room and it was 70 00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:23,840 a gym that I literally have not used. 71 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,480 And so I was like, let's let's change it up. 72 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,240 Like, let's move it in here. I made the comment though one of 73 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,680 my like coworkers and I was like, yeah, probably buy my one 74 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,240 year anniversary with praises in the pod, I'll move in there. 75 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,880 And he kind of like looked at me and he was like 4 months and I 76 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,240 was like, oh, something triggered inside of me y'all 77 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,360 because I literally came home that day and was like I'm moving 78 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,800 in by Friday. Like I'm moving everything in by 79 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,320 Friday. And most people would be like, 80 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:55,040 oh that seems so simple. This room was jam packed with 81 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,960 all kind of workout equipment. A huge like 1000 LB weights at 82 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,320 I'm not even being dramatic. Like it was huge and it the 83 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,000 color of the wall was dark brown. 84 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:10,360 Not my vibe, but my stepson's a hunter and everything else. 85 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,880 And so like, it just went with his like camo stuff and like he 86 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,680 hasn't lived here in years. But we just hadn't really done 87 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:21,320 much with the room. And so I painted and prayed and 88 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,280 just spent so much time trying to bust it out and get this 89 00:05:25,280 --> 00:05:29,400 done. And yeah, we recorded the first 90 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:34,800 episode the next day. So not the next day after I 91 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,160 started. I come home on Monday, I start 92 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,680 working on it Friday. I have everything set up. 93 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:48,880 I bought this table Friday night at home, like at at home at like 94 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,440 8:00. And I had people sitting up here 95 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:56,400 recording the very next day. And so like, the turn around 96 00:05:56,400 --> 00:06:02,440 time was crazy, but like, if God, if it's God's will, like 97 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,640 he's going to open these doors, he's going to make it possible. 98 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,240 Did I beat myself to death? Absolutely. 99 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:12,000 I ran myself ragged. OK, But it's worth it because 100 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:15,520 now I'm sitting and I'm chilling in this space and I'm just like 101 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:20,480 loving what's coming from it and being able to instantly the next 102 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:24,840 day have two sisters on talking about their relationship and 103 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,600 what God has done in their lives and just so much more. 104 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,920 And that was exactly what I wanted to do, right? 105 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:35,200 So that was my big my big thing too, that I just announced. 106 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,040 The second thing that I announced was that I got an 107 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,120 editor for PITP. I'm super excited. 108 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,760 We've talked about that here and there, maybe on more social 109 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,400 media than on here. And I tell everybody when they 110 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,920 come in, I'm like, listen, I've been praying for an editor. 111 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,560 Like I want to take this to the next level. 112 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:00,400 And how do you do that? Like I can only do so much 113 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,200 because I'm still in this learning phase of like videoing 114 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,640 and editing and all that. Like, I need someone 115 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,920 experienced. And then I also started like 116 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:17,760 getting a little hard on myself as in like if a conversation was 117 00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:22,240 going and then like I would pause too long of a time. 118 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:25,760 Like I'm cutting it to make it seem like there wasn't a pause. 119 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,120 And stuff like that is so unrealistic. 120 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,240 And like, then it would make everything look funny and I 121 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:35,120 would be working on this one spot for like 30 minutes trying 122 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,440 to make it look right. And it's like, I watched some of 123 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,800 another like editor that did our podcast a few times that I 124 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:46,360 really did want him to but to be our editor. 125 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,000 But that just didn't work out for right now. 126 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,040 Hopefully maybe in the future, like we can do more and he is 127 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,640 going to do 2 of our episodes too. 128 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,400 But anyway, Squirrel. But anyway, I was just getting 129 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,400 too hard on myself with the editing process. 130 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:04,480 Like truly, it's just been growing so much. 131 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:08,360 And I want to record. I want to do the ministry side 132 00:08:08,360 --> 00:08:10,280 of it right. Like I love creating my 133 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,520 graphics. I love pouring into my social 134 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,000 media and doing the clips and doing this and doing that. 135 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:22,240 But like the actual editing of the videos was just becoming too 136 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:25,960 much. So we launched the new studio, 137 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,040 we got an editor. We also launched sponsorships. 138 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,679 And I have been blown away of having people reach out and 139 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:36,120 being interested in those and actually getting donations for 140 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:39,200 sponsorships and being able to do stuff like that. 141 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,080 Like it's been absolutely amazing to see. 142 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:48,040 And then praises, I have not even talked about praises. 143 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:54,840 So all of my like branding for praises in the pod has been 144 00:08:54,840 --> 00:09:01,320 super like gorilla fly girlified, been girlified and 145 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,040 you know, the flowers and pink and everything. 146 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:08,280 It's so my like it. I just love pink. 147 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:12,480 And if you knew me before, then like before, like this chapter 148 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:16,400 of my life, I wore all black. I wore dark colors all the time. 149 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,320 Like I was not a pink girlie. My mom would buy me clothes and 150 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:24,400 I'm like, no, it's pink. Like, and now I've went into 151 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:28,080 that era where I feel like I can't get enough. 152 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:34,200 But anyway, I have just been in that phase for so long and I'm 153 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,440 not getting out of my pink era. OK. 154 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:41,280 But I did realize that there were so many men that wanted to 155 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:45,720 support my clothing and buy stuff for me. 156 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,760 Like they're like, I love this. But like the flowers, you know, 157 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:54,760 some people still did, but I just was like, I love designing 158 00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:57,440 clothes. I love doing that type of thing. 159 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,160 And I have all these ideas. Let me do praises. 160 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,680 And so that's technically like my network. 161 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:06,920 Is that the right word? I don't even know. 162 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,880 But like, that's like the umbrella praises in the pod 163 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,680 falls underneath it. And then we have praises, like 164 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:17,520 apparel falls underneath it and then praises media, which is 165 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,640 somewhat like more of just like my freelance kind of stuff. 166 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:25,840 So I launched that brand and been selling shirts like already 167 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,360 like people are loving it. It is been so awesome to see so 168 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:36,400 many people supporting me. And then the last thing was I 169 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:42,200 officially am an LLC. I started to think about this 170 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:46,040 and just really want to dive in and be recognized and as a true 171 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,120 organization. Like this isn't just like a 172 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,480 hobby for me. Like this is something that I'm 173 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:55,320 pouring into because so many people or like, wait, you know, 174 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,920 you just are a podcaster for fun. 175 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:00,200 Like you just are doing all this stuff for fun. 176 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:05,120 And it's like, no, like I'm pouring into it because I know 177 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:09,680 that this is what God has called me to do and this is what he's 178 00:11:09,680 --> 00:11:12,840 led me to do. And like, I'm not going to stop, 179 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,520 you know, I'm not going to give up and just be like, OK, I'm 180 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:19,000 done. Like I'm truly in it. 181 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,320 I'm investing. I'm doing the things that I need 182 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:26,560 to do to grow this and I'm going to continue to do that. 183 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,320 So those were some big announcements that I have been 184 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,960 talking about kind of here and there. 185 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,240 I'm not even sure what people actually know because I feel 186 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,120 like my announcements have been all over the place. 187 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:43,400 That's pretty much like catching y'all up with what's been going 188 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,560 on with PITP and praises and all of the above. 189 00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:52,320 I did want to go ahead and tell y'all too that Elise, she was on 190 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:57,040 the podcast a few episodes back. She is a high schooler. 191 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:00,800 She was going on a missions trip and so many of y'all, so many of 192 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,520 y'all reached out and you know, donated directly towards her. 193 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,080 Then y'all bought shirts and all of that. 194 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:13,920 We were able to donate her $415 for her mission trip. 195 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,640 And so that was just absolutely incredible. 196 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,880 She was blown away and you could just tell she was just so 197 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:24,160 appreciative of the love and the support that she received. 198 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:29,520 And it's just amazing to see that I want to keep doing things 199 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:32,360 like that. I want people to experience him. 200 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,760 I want him to, I want people to see that there is hope. 201 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:39,720 There's so much more to life in the way that we've been living, 202 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:44,760 me included. Like I lived on the wrong side. 203 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,920 I lived. I was dead. 204 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,560 I was dead for so long without Jesus. 205 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,800 And he gave me a whole new perspective on life. 206 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:59,160 He gave me a whole new life. He gave me new desires and all 207 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,880 of the above, all of the above, like the person that I am today 208 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,760 is completely different than the person that I was two years ago, 209 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,360 a month ago even, you know, like I'm constantly trying to better 210 00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,280 myself. I'm still going to fall short. 211 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,640 I'm still not going to do everything right. 212 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,920 I'm still not going to spend enough time with him. 213 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:23,240 I'm still going to, you know, just whatever, you know, just 214 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:26,000 still not measure up. That's just the part of life. 215 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:30,360 That's just the the downfall of being a human right? 216 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,640 Like we're never going to measure up to God, but he sees 217 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,360 that we're trying. And if we're willing to submit 218 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:42,800 ourselves to him and, you know, just surrender all to him, then 219 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:46,200 he recognizes that and he's going to bless our lives. 220 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:49,520 He's going to bless all the other areas that we are trying 221 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,120 to glorify him in. So I really just wanted to 222 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:59,160 update y'all about what was going on and show the new studio 223 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:04,720 and the new setup. I am just blown away that one 224 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:10,840 day I had this idea and God turned it into all of this. 225 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:15,880 We just, we just celebrated 15,000 listeners and that's just 226 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:19,600 still unbelievable. I really didn't have a whole lot 227 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:24,960 to talk about today. I was more so wanting to update 228 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,040 y'all and just give you a little rundown about what has been 229 00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:32,240 going on. I have been really like 230 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:37,120 considering and debating getting rid of this one episode a month. 231 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,440 I'm going to continue to pray about it. 232 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:46,160 I'm going to continue to seek the Lord and His counsel and 233 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,720 talk to other people. But like, for me to get on here, 234 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:54,920 it's just a monologue. And while it feels like a video 235 00:14:54,920 --> 00:15:01,200 diary or something like it, just I'm just not like as thrilled 236 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:06,320 about these episodes when they come out or like as excited or I 237 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,840 don't feel confident in them. Or I just feel like sometimes 238 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:13,360 I'm just rambling and people are like, I don't want to tune into 239 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,040 that. Like, I don't know, I just, I'm 240 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:23,760 not very like 100% set on keeping this episode once a 241 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,160 month with just myself. I don't know. 242 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:33,600 So y'all just kind of give me maybe some advice maybe or some 243 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:37,280 encouragement if y'all do want to continue this where it's just 244 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,560 me. Or maybe you're just like, yes, 245 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:41,480 I've been thinking this the whole entire time. 246 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,600 My regular listen listeners that listen every single week. 247 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,800 I love y'all and please be honest. 248 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,160 Like if y'all don't want to hear this and y'all would rather have 249 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,960 someone else in this lot every every time that I would just 250 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:58,720 talk by myself, let me know I I want to do what's best for the 251 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:00,720 podcast. I want to do what's best to 252 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:04,480 glorify God. Abby's going to continue to keep 253 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,960 her episode where she comes on and talks with me and the two 254 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,560 testimonies a month at least. I thought about making it three, 255 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:16,120 like every 1st of the month it'd be Abby and then the other ones 256 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:19,680 be testimonies. So that pretty much wraps up 257 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,400 that chapter of what I wanted to talk about. 258 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,760 The second chapter is just a little bit more about me. 259 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:29,160 I just celebrated my birthday this past week. 260 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:34,320 Yes, I am recording this episode late and editing it late. 261 00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:37,000 Don't judge me. I've had a lot going on. 262 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,040 I just told you about everything that's going on. 263 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,000 But yeah, like 30 just looks so different. 264 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:47,360 You know, I have kind of been a little bit emotional this week. 265 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:51,560 I had never ever been upset to turn 30. 266 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,280 Like people will say 30s are the best years because you know who 267 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:00,800 you are, you know, you know, you just, you're more socially and 268 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:06,800 emotionally and physically aware of things and you just have so 269 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:10,280 much more like stability in life. 270 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,160 And I truly have stood firm on that. 271 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,240 Like I'm like, I can't wait to turn 30. 272 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,000 Like this is going to be so nice, blah, blah, blah. 273 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,760 And I'm like the other day I started thinking about it and it 274 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:24,280 wasn't even about me being 30. It was about like my parents, 275 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:28,800 like they have a 30 year old. My Nana has a 30 year old 276 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,600 granddaughter. Like stuff like that just made 277 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,080 me start worrying. And like, I know that worry, 278 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,280 anxiety, depression, all of those are not from the Lord. 279 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,720 So like I'm trying to like, you know, speak over that. 280 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,880 I'm speaking Jesus over all of those feelings that I was going 281 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,960 through. But I started struggling a 282 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:52,320 little bit this week. And then I had a few mishaps 283 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:57,200 along the way this past week that also threw a whole like 284 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,720 just another layer of kind of like my feelings being hurt and 285 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:05,480 anxiety and just all this different things. 286 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:10,800 And so this week, this past week was such a great week because it 287 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,240 was a birthday week. But then at the same time, like 288 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:18,640 I was struggling mentally just thinking of all this stuff and 289 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:24,240 then also realizing like I'm 30 and still haven't had a baby. 290 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,720 And so that kind of get a little gets a little hard because I 291 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:38,480 have never also been under the like I've never really, you 292 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:42,800 know, been upset about it yet like people will apologize like 293 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,440 Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Like I had no idea that y'all 294 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:50,160 struggled or I, you know, your time's going to come girl. 295 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,280 Like all this stuff and I'm like no like for real. 296 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,280 I'm fine. Like I know that it's going to 297 00:18:54,280 --> 00:19:00,600 happen on God's time and I have been so firm, so firm on that. 298 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,920 And something about like the last like week or so, I've just 299 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,320 really started kind of like struggling with it because I 300 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,040 really do want to be a mother and I really do want those 301 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,240 things for myself. And so you can only be so strong 302 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:18,880 so long and you're closest to God, you know, when you are 303 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:24,600 weak. And I truly have been, you know, 304 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:28,120 trying to seek him about stuff like that and get that strength 305 00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:36,320 and to be able to continue knowing that what he said is a 306 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:40,520 promise, what he said. I know and I'm going to stand on 307 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,920 that. But times get hard. 308 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,160 Y'all. Like you can, this is what I 309 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,360 always talk about. Like you can know the word, but 310 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:52,360 when you apply the word and you know of God's promises, that's 311 00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,720 where strength comes from. That's why it's so important to 312 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,960 read your Bible and it's so important to talk to him 313 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,840 regularly and pray and all these things. 314 00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:02,280 And it's like, I can do that stuff, but we're still going to 315 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,920 have weak moments. You have to remember what he has 316 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:13,640 done for you and remain in that so that when you do fall short 317 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:20,680 of weakness in these things or like you do feel a little hurt 318 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,800 and upset and stuff like you still turn to him. 319 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:29,040 We never want to get so upset and we don't want to get so, so 320 00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:32,240 just lost. I guess that's not even the 321 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,280 right word. But we don't ever want to get to 322 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:38,040 that place where like we'll turn back to our old ways because 323 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:41,480 things aren't where they are where where we would have 324 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,600 thought they would have been by now. 325 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:47,320 And so, yeah, that's just something I've really been kind 326 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,440 of like struggling with here more recently. 327 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:56,760 I hate to do that, but I'm just trying to be open and honest and 328 00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:01,400 raw and transparent and all of the above. 329 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,920 And then today being Mother's Day, it's been quite the journey 330 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,040 because I have been running around with my head cut off 331 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,200 since 7:30 this morning when I left to go to church. 332 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,600 And then I had to work after. And then I had all, I have to go 333 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,480 see all my mom's and then all of the above. 334 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:25,840 So I just got home and I was like, I really need to go record 335 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:29,560 this episode. I really want to go do, you 336 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,520 know, just get some stuff off my chest. 337 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,200 Well guys, I think that's pretty much going to be it for the day. 338 00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:38,520 I know that these episodes are kind of short when I do them by 339 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,040 themselves. And some of y'all are probably 340 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:44,320 like, yes, thank you. Like they are short because you 341 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,960 just hear me the whole entire time. 342 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,080 I have no idea how people do like longer episodes of just 343 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:53,960 them because I'm like, you're just having a full on 344 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,960 conversation with yourself, like a whole monologue. 345 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:03,120 And sometimes I'm like, it's where am I going with this? 346 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:06,000 Because I'm not having much interaction or like, where have 347 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,560 I been? What have I been talking about 348 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,880 to get me to hear? Like sometimes you just lose it, 349 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,680 but it's OK, it's OK, it's OK. Anyway, if y'all have any 350 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,600 recommendations or maybe y'all want certain people on the 351 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,480 podcast, you know of somebody that you're like, they have an 352 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:25,520 amazing story and it needs to be said and whatever. 353 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:30,480 Or maybe you personally have like heard one of the episodes 354 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:34,400 and you're like, wow, that sticks out to me. 355 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,240 I want to talk to this person. Whatever, reach out to me to. 356 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,000 I would love to get y'all in touch. 357 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:44,640 I would love for y'all to touch base and just be able to, you 358 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,200 know, talk with one another. This doesn't have to just be a 359 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,840 listen and be done type of thing, A listen and be done type 360 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:55,480 of podcast like let's connect. OK, let's connect. 361 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:59,400 We're besties. Anyways, stay tuned, stay 362 00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,840 blessed and we'll see you guys next week. 363 00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:01,560 Bye.