1 00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:12,570 What's up guys? My name is Alexis, your host of 2 00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:15,570 Raises in the Pod, and I'm so excited to have Aliyah Holder 3 00:00:15,570 --> 00:00:17,610 here today. We are going to be talking about 4 00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:20,410 her testimony and what God has done in her life, and we're just 5 00:00:20,410 --> 00:00:22,050 so excited. But we're going to start off in 6 00:00:22,050 --> 00:00:23,450 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 7 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:26,200 OK, so here we go. Lord, Heavenly Father, thank you 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:29,600 for today and thank you for all that you have been doing in our 9 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:31,720 lives. Lord God, you have had your hand 10 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,720 on top of us and you have just seen it through and we are just 11 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,960 so thankful for that. We pray that you speak to us and 12 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:40,400 through us. We pray that this podcast 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:44,080 glorifies you and it just leads others to become closer with 14 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,720 you. And so we just pray right now 15 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,680 that you just see this conversation and you just place 16 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,680 your hand on it and just continue to lead us and guide 17 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,680 us. In Jesus name I pray Amen, Amen, 18 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,480 Amen. Girl, I'm just so excited that 19 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,040 you're on like you are just such a light and being able to just 20 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,360 like watch you grow and just be around you for the past two 21 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:06,760 years. It's just been so awesome. 22 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,480 So I'm so glad you wanted to come on. 23 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:10,360 I'm like when I asked, I was like, is she? 24 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:11,480 And when you said to us, I was like, yes. 25 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,200 OK, funny back story. Whenever you first started the 26 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:19,040 podcast, I wanted to be on it so bad. 27 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:21,800 And just like listening to your episodes, I was like, this is 28 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,800 amazing what you're doing, like your life and itself, but also 29 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,480 like the lives of people that you're bringing on. 30 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,520 And so I was like, God, if you really want me to do this and 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,840 like be a part of this, please, like give me the opportunity. 32 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,640 So whenever you texted me, I was like, definitely an answered 33 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:37,600 prayer. This is awesome. 34 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,160 Yeah, cuz you're like just text. You're like I would love to 35 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,560 thank you. I'm so honored you to ask. 36 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,320 And I was like, and sometimes I have to like convince people, 37 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,200 you know, like there's one girl I asked today. 38 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,600 She's like, I just don't like, I don't feel like I'm interesting 39 00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,960 enough. And I'm like, no, your story is 40 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,720 everybody has a story and I want everybody to share it. 41 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,440 I just got to get around to it, you know. 42 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,400 So if I haven't asked you and you do want to be on, just reach 43 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,800 out and maybe say something. Anyway, tell us a little bit 44 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,680 about yourself, girl, maybe your upbringing. 45 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,360 Let's start there. Yeah, so I have terrible memory. 46 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:12,800 So I don't really remember that much from me growing up. 47 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,440 I do remember that my parents got divorced whenever I was very 48 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:21,000 young and then I remember my mom did get remarried. 49 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,120 But kind of like the in between. I don't really have that many 50 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,800 like childhood memories, but life was good. 51 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,560 I I mean don't really have any complaints. 52 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:34,040 I do remember we did not go to church that much growing up. 53 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:38,680 We went every now and then, but definitely not regulars and 54 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,400 everything kind of just like shifted whenever I was in fifth 55 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,960 grade. I remember my mom was in the 56 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:47,520 hospital at the time and I think she was in there to like get a 57 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:49,480 surgery. And so it was like she was post 58 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,960 op or whatever. And I remember being so excited 59 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,280 to get off the bus and just like go and see her because I don't 60 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,160 know if I hadn't seen her at that point for a couple days or 61 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,720 if it was just, you know, it's the excitement of seeing her 62 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,200 after. And so I remember getting off 63 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,880 the bus that day and just count down the minutes. 64 00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:11,480 Like I was so excited to go. And so then we're on the way 65 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,360 there. We get there and we walk in the 66 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,680 room and it just feels heavy. And I was like, something's 67 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,400 definitely wrong. Like there's definitely an 68 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:24,120 elephant in the room. And so she told my sister and I 69 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:29,080 that day that she had cancer. And I just remember, I mean, I'm 70 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,400 in 5th grade at the point I don't really know what cancer 71 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,800 is, but I just knew it wasn't good. 72 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,200 And so that was just really hard. 73 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,080 I remember going home that day just completely devastated, went 74 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,360 straight to my room and I was like, just don't talk to me. 75 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,840 I don't know. I didn't know how to like deal 76 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:50,560 with that. And so then just up until or for 77 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:53,280 the next couple years, it was just very difficult in my mom. 78 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,160 Like you could tell. But I just want to like stop 79 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,120 right here and say like, I'm so incredibly thankful for the 80 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:03,040 strength that she had. You would never know that she 81 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,880 had cancer besides the fact that she was rocking her little like 82 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,960 beanies. But I mean, just going through 83 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:12,800 the years, like she lost her hair because of the chemo. 84 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:16,480 She was very tired. But she would never know. 85 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,399 Like she always had a smile on her face, always just happy. 86 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,280 Is that everything that she can be at, you know? 87 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,520 So I'm just so incredibly thankful for that. 88 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,600 We went to New York for my sister's 15th birthday in 2015. 89 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,320 Hey, hang on. Just a pause. 90 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,240 I'm sorry. Hey, you're OK. 91 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,760 Like what's the age difference between you and your sister? 92 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:38,360 So she's two years older. Than two years OK so she would 93 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,440 have been middle school, 7th grade. 94 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:43,320 OK how was she handling the news too? 95 00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:45,560 Like did y'all lean on each other or y'all were kind of like 96 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,960 were y'all close or? So growing up we were not like 97 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,240 the closest, the silver, the silver. 98 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,480 But I definitely had love for her and she had love for for me. 99 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,800 We didn't really like talk about stuff like that much. 100 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,440 I think we kind of just like behind closed doors, we kind of 101 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:05,560 just dealt with it how we separately. 102 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,640 Yeah. And so we didn't really like 103 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,800 talk about it to each other outside of that or anything. 104 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:14,600 But we went to New York. And I think that's where it hit 105 00:05:14,600 --> 00:05:17,640 me, though, like she wasn't as good as I thought she was. 106 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:21,360 My mom, I just remember, obviously New York, you have so 107 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,920 many different places you need to like walk and get to. 108 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:26,400 So she just had to take a lot more breaks. 109 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,840 She was a lot more tired. And you could just tell like it 110 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,040 was taking a toll. Yes. 111 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,960 And so that's where I was like, well, Dang, like this is this is 112 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:42,000 hard. And so I remember it was 113 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:46,000 Christmas of 2015. So you're around what age? 114 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,120 I am in 8th grade, 8th grade, yes. 115 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:54,080 And I remember she couldn't even, she didn't get off the 116 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,480 couch. We went to my grandparents. 117 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,200 So like she got in the car and she got there. 118 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,560 She could not get off the couch. She could barely keep her eyes 119 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,640 open. We had to open the presents for 120 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,880 her just like talk out loud, like, hey, I got this and you 121 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,080 know, Maya, my sister got this, you know, just whatever the case 122 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,320 may be. And that was very difficult. 123 00:06:13,320 --> 00:06:16,560 Like a fun day that's supposed to be like spent with family. 124 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,120 It was just hard. And so then December 26th of 125 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,200 2015, she went to Hospice. And so for those who don't know 126 00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,880 what Hospice is, it is end of life care. 127 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,960 And so in the medical field, the one goal is, you know, let's 128 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,920 save this patient's life. But in Hospice, it's how can we 129 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:37,320 make this patient comfortable? And so again, I'm in 8th grade. 130 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,520 I don't really know what Hospice is in my head. 131 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,480 I'm like, oh, she's going to go to the hospital for a little 132 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:43,160 while, get better and then come back home. 133 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:49,280 And so at this point, it was just very difficult to go home 134 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:51,600 and live at a house that my mom wasn't in. 135 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,560 And so I started spend the night with my aunt. 136 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,600 Her name is Amy. Shout out. 137 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,840 At Amy for we'll get that Amy in a little bit. 138 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,880 Yes. And so I just started to spend 139 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,760 the night at her house just because it, it was, I was 140 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,760 already going through such a huge change and that was just 141 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:13,120 easier for me. And so then January 2nd, I 142 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:16,320 remember I spent the night at my house because I think Amy had 143 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:18,480 like a night shift. She works, she's a nurse. 144 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,720 And so she worked night shift at the time. 145 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,160 And I just remember she had a shift that night. 146 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:28,440 And I remember my stepdad came in and he woke me up and said, 147 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,680 Hey, like, let's get ready. We're going to go visit your 148 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,120 mom, and I was. Like in the middle of the night. 149 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:36,840 It was that morning. OK, I'm like Oh my gosh, girl. 150 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,920 And I remember just saying like, I don't, I don't really feel 151 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,640 like it right now. Like I'll get ready and I'll go 152 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,680 see her later. Like I just, I just want to get 153 00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,480 some sleep. I, you know, and he left the 154 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,200 room and came back and he was like, no, like you need to get 155 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:52,200 up and you need to get ready. Like we're going to go see your 156 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,600 mom right now. And in that moment, I was like, 157 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,920 this isn't good. And so I quickly got ready and I 158 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,600 was on the way and I just had this feeling like it just felt 159 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,280 heavy. And, and the moment I was like, 160 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:08,840 my mom, she's not here. And so then I remember we'd get 161 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,640 there and I jump out of the car and I start running inside. 162 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,840 And the nurse that was taking care of her, she said, your mom 163 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,520 went to be with Jesus. And in that moment, it didn't 164 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,040 click. I didn't really know about God 165 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,240 or anything like that. And so I just remember I run 166 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,520 into her room and Amy's at her bedside holding her hand, and 167 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,520 she's gone. And I just remember being so 168 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,080 devastated. And I just felt like I just 169 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:39,720 carried so much guilt. Like, what didn't I spend? 170 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,680 Why wasn't that better? Maybe. 171 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:50,120 If I was a better kid in, my mom would still be here, You know, 172 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,160 why didn't I spend while she was in Hospice? 173 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,360 Why didn't I talk to her more? You know, just so many different 174 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,280 things just going through. What? 175 00:08:58,280 --> 00:09:00,760 Could I done differently from my mom to still be here? 176 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,640 Well, I think, you know, those feelings are really like, valid 177 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,440 when you're a kid, you know, like not valid. 178 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,080 But like, I feel like a lot of people would think that. 179 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,320 I know even as adult, you know, sometimes like when we lose 180 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:18,720 someone that's close to us, we think like, Oh my gosh, you 181 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,360 think of all the times that you like put off spending with them 182 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,320 or the phone calls, you never called them back. 183 00:09:24,320 --> 00:09:28,800 And like, so even as an adult over that overwhelming feeling 184 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,800 of that, but taking it to a child that has got to be 185 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:39,040 extremely hard because I mean, you don't you barely know how to 186 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,640 communicate your emotions at this point, You know, just 187 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:47,160 puberty and general and now that's just so much on top of 188 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:50,040 you. And then you just lost the 189 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:54,200 person that gave you life, you know, and that's just very, very 190 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,400 difficult. So y'all are in the hospital. 191 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:02,240 After that I went. And lived with Amy, my aunt. 192 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,240 And I just want to stop right here and say I'm so incredibly 193 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,400 thankful for Amy. She did something that she 194 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,160 didn't have to do. So selfless of her and I just 195 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:17,360 can't thank her enough for what she did then and what she 196 00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:22,040 continues to do for me today. So I'm just so quickly thankful. 197 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:29,560 And so we moved in with her and I just as a kid, I'm, I'm 198 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,000 introverted, always have been. And so it was just very 199 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,480 difficult for me to kind of express how I feel. 200 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,120 And so I remember just being so angry at the world. 201 00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:44,680 And I think after my mom passed away, kind of clicks like this 202 00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:49,720 whole God idea of God. And I was just like, well, God, 203 00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,920 you're so mighty and you were able to say my mom, but you 204 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,960 didn't. And so I want absolutely nothing 205 00:10:54,960 --> 00:11:00,320 to do with you. And so church God, not even a 206 00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,120 thought in my mind at this point. 207 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,440 Didn't really care to have a relationship with him or 208 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:09,520 anything. Did you say angry or just 209 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,200 nothing at all? Like I'm just. 210 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:15,600 Oh, I was, I was so angry. OK, very, very angry. 211 00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,880 And kind of just like looking at my sister. 212 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,960 She's definitely an extrovert. She is very open to discuss, you 213 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:29,280 know how she feels. But we could be like just having 214 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,160 a normal day. And I would just, like, sit down 215 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,080 and just, like, start bawling my eyes out. 216 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:37,000 And my sister, like, she had a smile on her face, like, she was 217 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,560 able to, like, carry on and, like, just get through it. 218 00:11:39,560 --> 00:11:42,000 So I thought. And it's just different ways 219 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,520 that people cope. And so I just remember being so 220 00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:46,720 angry. I'm like, how are you? 221 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,760 OK? Like, we just lost the one of 222 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,200 the most important people in our life. 223 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,840 Like, how are you? Just like, yeah, doing this? 224 00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,400 Like I can't now. You're not even angry at God 225 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:57,520 now. You're angry at your sister 226 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,440 because you're not dealing with it like you're. 227 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:00,840 Yeah. Yes. 228 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:05,760 And so I just remember just every day, it was just 229 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:09,200 difficult. And I actually actually got 230 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:13,400 diagnosed with depression. I started going to counselling 231 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,880 and then I started getting like taking medication for my 232 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:20,400 depression. And I just also want to say it's 233 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,800 OK if people need that extra help. 234 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:26,120 And I just pray that if there's anybody out there listening 235 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,640 right now and they are struggling and they need that 236 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,160 help, they need to go to counselling, they need that 237 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,880 medication. Like I just want everybody to 238 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,600 know that it's OK to need that help. 239 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,680 It's a you're not less than for needing extra help. 240 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:44,720 And so I went through that for a couple years and eventually got 241 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,240 off the medication. I, you know, learning ways to 242 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:51,080 cope and stuff like that through counseling and stuff like that. 243 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,880 So it was very helpful and very good. 244 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,560 I'm thankful that Amy gave me that push to go. 245 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:02,040 I definitely needed it, but I remember I was zoned for one 246 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:06,840 high school and we moved, so we would go to a different high 247 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,040 school that pretty much everybody in the family went to. 248 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,440 And so again, I'm introverted. And so all the friends that I 249 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,760 made in middle school I was going to have. 250 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,680 Yeah. And so it's just hard to make 251 00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,560 friends, especially like high school being like one of the new 252 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:23,800 people. It's just hard. 253 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:26,480 I do remember I had a childhood friend growing up. 254 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,720 She was going to go to the high school. 255 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,160 So I was like, at least I have one friend. 256 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:33,360 Finally, like not finally, but like there was a glimpse of 257 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,040 hope. Like OK, this is OK I guess. 258 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:39,320 And so, believe it or not, I was a cheerleader in high school. 259 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,560 Introvert. A bit cheerleader. 260 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:42,680 Got it. Yes. 261 00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,560 So I cheered in high school, and I made a lot of friends through 262 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:47,960 that. My sister was also on the 263 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,200 basketball team, and so I was a manager for that. 264 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,600 And so I made friends through just different extracurriculars, 265 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:57,720 different sports, different clubs and just all that. 266 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,840 And so, yeah, I definitely got plugged in and just felt OK, you 267 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,520 know, life was decent, as good as it could be. 268 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:10,120 And then I remember I had a boy, I got a boyfriend in high school 269 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:14,960 and his family went to Southside and he invited me to go. 270 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,160 And I was kind of like, oh, it's not really my thing. 271 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:22,600 I don't really want to go, but I guess I will since, you know. 272 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:27,680 And so we went for a couple Sundays and I remember we, he 273 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:32,880 invited me to go to CR with him. And it was actually Robin, 274 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,040 Eric's wife. She was giving testimony and 275 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,440 it's actually my. Sponsor too, so. 276 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:39,960 I love Rob. I love her. 277 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,760 And so I just remember her testimony was so powerful. 278 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:49,600 And I remember Pat giving the invitation after. 279 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,120 And of course I'm like on the edge of my seat and my heart's 280 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:55,520 like beating out of my chest. I'm like antsy and like, you 281 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:58,520 know, freaking out because like, what is this? 282 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,000 And I just remember him saying, you know, like, get up out of 283 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,920 your seat and like, come down and, you know, give your life to 284 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:08,040 Christ. I don't, I didn't know at that 285 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,560 time, like what that meant. But I was like, OK, like, I'm 286 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:13,320 being called to do this like I need to. 287 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,200 And so I gave my life to Christ in 2020. 288 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:21,800 Amazing, which I also do want to add because like I know Robin's 289 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,520 story and obviously, you know, Robin's story, but Robin 290 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,840 actually, you know, had some mental health things, you know, 291 00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:32,240 like she struggled with, you know, anxiety and depression and 292 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,520 all this stuff. And so like you were just saying 293 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,520 too, like you had just came kind of came out of that season. 294 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,360 So when you came to church at CR for the first time and then you 295 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,280 hear something that's so, you know, similar to what you were 296 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,760 going through, you know, that's just how God speaks and uses our 297 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:53,960 testimonies to help others. And so in, you know, this Robin 298 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:57,960 was used to ultimately get you to the Kingdom, you know, so 299 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,840 it's just so good. Like when we are able to open 300 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,960 and share, it's hard because, you know, it's, it's heavy. 301 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,280 Some of the stuff that we've went through and the stuff that 302 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,680 we talked about, it is it's hard, but it helps others. 303 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:14,440 And so that was just a, you know, redefining, re reassuring, 304 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:17,640 like tell your story, tell your testimony, tell what God's done 305 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,520 in your life that's just like you. 306 00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,080 So yes. Absolutely. 307 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:26,600 And so I gave my life to Christ and I had no idea what it meant 308 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:30,480 to live for God. I didn't really know that much 309 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,680 about him. I mean, again, growing up, we 310 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,040 went to church every now and then, definitely not regular. 311 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:38,440 So I don't really know what that looks like, but I knew that I 312 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:44,520 was called and so I kind of just lived how I was living, like no 313 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:50,160 drastic change really. And so I remember my boyfriend 314 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:54,360 and I, we ended up breaking up and that was very difficult for 315 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,960 me. And so I just remember sitting 316 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:59,240 there and telling myself, like Aaliyah, you either like need to 317 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:04,160 dive into like your relationship with God or you need to just let 318 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:08,000 it go and just live how you're living, You know, don't be 319 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000 lukewarm. Either be all in or all out, 320 00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:12,640 period. So I decided to make my faith my 321 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:17,240 own and I decided to just dive in to God and just all the 322 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,160 things well. You know, I love how you said, 323 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,800 you know, make it your own because there's so many times, 324 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,680 like when we have boyfriends or parents and all this other 325 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,160 stuff, people bring us to church and we think, you know, oh, OK. 326 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:33,120 Like we're, we're, we have a relationship, but until you 327 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:38,520 really take control of it, you know, and really set aside time, 328 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,240 give it your all, you know, do certain things. 329 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,080 We don't make it our own. So I love the way you said I've 330 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:48,200 decided to make it my own. I decided to give it my all. 331 00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,040 I really love that. Absolutely. 332 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:56,200 Well, you have to think about it as you know, only your salvation 333 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,000 is going to what's going to save you and get you to heaven. 334 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,640 And so you can't do that for somebody else because it's not 335 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:06,680 genuine at that point. And so I do believe that I 336 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:11,760 wholeheartedly gave my life to Christ that night at CR, but up 337 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,080 until that point that that difficult thing hit me and made 338 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:18,880 me realize how much I needed God and how much I needed to rely on 339 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:22,320 him. I, you know, I just didn't live 340 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:26,320 the way that I should have. And so, yeah, so. 341 00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,960 How old are you? You're still in high school 342 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,760 though. Still. 343 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,520 Well, yeah. Well, I graduated that May and 344 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:37,680 so this was September of 2020, so just recently graduated high 345 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,560 school. I just started college. 346 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:44,120 So, OK, boots on the ground, yes, we're out of high school. 347 00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:45,960 You know, you say you start college. 348 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,280 Yes. Did did you automatically jump 349 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,280 into what your career is now or you started and tried to figure 350 00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,000 out or tell us a little bit about that? 351 00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,040 OK. So in high school I was dead. 352 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,560 Said that I was going to be a pharmacist. 353 00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,440 OK. And so I started doing my 354 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,800 prereqs on the pharmacy route. I ended up having that 355 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,360 conversation with somebody and I was like, I cannot be a 356 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,680 pharmacist. No, absolutely not. 357 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,160 And so at that point, I've already done some of my like 358 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,040 prereqs. And so I'm like, well, I don't 359 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:17,560 really like want to change my major entirely. 360 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,280 Like I've already done some of the classes. 361 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,720 So I just want to like stick with something that's kind of 362 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,440 similar. And so again, my aunt's a nurse 363 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:30,840 and I was like, she has some pretty cool like stories, but I 364 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,600 mean, I guess there's a lot to do with a nursing degree. 365 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,280 So I guess I'll just do that and figure it out. 366 00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:38,520 OK. And so I just like finished on 367 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:43,320 my prereqs and start nursing school and I at that point still 368 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,960 didn't know what kind of sure. You're just getting a degree, 369 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:46,480 girl. Yeah. 370 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,720 And so I just remember telling myself, you know, as I go 371 00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,680 through school, all kind of because we have clinicals. 372 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,240 And so I was like, I'll just go through school and every 373 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,960 clinical that we have, like I'll just say this isn't for me or 374 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,240 oh, this is pretty interesting. Like I'll do this. 375 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,080 So I remember our first clinical was Med surg and I was like, I 376 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,160 will never do Med surg. Like this is too much. 377 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,680 There's too many patients that you have, there's just too many 378 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,640 meds to pass. Like I just can't do this. 379 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,840 And so then we had mental health and I was like, that's pretty 380 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,320 interesting. I could do that labor and 381 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,400 delivery. Very fun. 382 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:26,160 Which I did think I, I, I probably asked the Leah 7 times. 383 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,440 I'm like you're doing peeds right? 384 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:29,840 I don't know why I just want to put her in Peach. 385 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:33,720 She just looks like she wants the whole babies but okay. 386 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:39,080 Not beats, not peas. And so I was like that that's 387 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,400 doable. Like I could. 388 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,280 And then I remember doing my practicum at the very end, which 389 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,160 is 12/12 hour shifts of your last semester. 390 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,680 And I was with a nurse that kind of floated to different floors 391 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,760 and we pretty much did the ER and Med search. 392 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:58,680 And I was like, I will never do ER, but like Med search was OK, 393 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,640 it was doable. And so still I graduated. 394 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,040 Well, it was towards the very end of right before I was going 395 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,240 to graduate and I was still like, I have absolutely no idea 396 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,960 what kind of nurse I want to be. And that in itself is kind of 397 00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,000 scary, just not knowing really what you want to do with your 398 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,240 life. But I do remember telling myself 399 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,600 or just kind of figuring out like maybe I do want to do 400 00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,880 Hospice just because it's a way for me to kind of in a way honor 401 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,840 my mom and just take care of patients and families. 402 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,040 That kind of went through what I went through just because I feel 403 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:35,480 like it's so easy to help people once you've been through 404 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,160 something that they've been through. 405 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,280 It's just one thing to hear like it's going to be OK and you can 406 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,440 get through this from one person, but to hear it from 407 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,400 somebody that's been through it, it just makes you feel so much 408 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,480 better. And so I was like, maybe this is 409 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,600 what I want to do. But since Hospice is so 410 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:57,400 specialized, I knew I wanted to get some sort of experience 411 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:00,720 somewhere else before. But then I absolutely like I 412 00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:03,640 didn't know what I wanted to do. And so I remember we had a 413 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,440 career day at school. And so a lot of recruiters from 414 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,960 different hospitals in the area came just to talk to us and kind 415 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:15,320 of just tell us what kind of areas they have available and 416 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,720 just all of that. And I remember I was not really 417 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:20,440 that excited to go and talk to them. 418 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,920 I was like, I guess I'll just kind of figure it out on my own. 419 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:26,880 And it was also an exam day. And so it was like after that, 420 00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,320 you're just, like, all stressed out about if you did well or 421 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,320 not. So it's like, I really just 422 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,600 don't want to talk to. Yeah. 423 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:36,960 At this point, I don't even, I don't care where I'm going, you 424 00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:39,720 know, like, well, I know where I'm going, but I don't know 425 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,680 where I'm going, right? I'll figure that out later. 426 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,240 But yes. OK, so you start talking to 427 00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:45,680 somebody? I'm guessing yes. 428 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,480 And so I just remember the hospital that I'm currently 429 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,000 working at now and the person was like, Oh yeah, we just 430 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,600 opened this oncology for a couple years ago. 431 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,040 And I was like, no way. Like I never even thought about, 432 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,880 you know, doing or taking care of like cancer patients. 433 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,720 And I was like, this is awesome. Like auto supply, if God wants 434 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,920 me to be there, like it'll happen. 435 00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:14,320 And so I remember just applying and just going in for the 436 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:18,720 interview and it was incredible. I just fell in love with the 437 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:22,880 people that were there. The hospital was just, it was a 438 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:26,440 good place to be, you know, and then I'm actually in like a 439 00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,560 residency program, which is a year long. 440 00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,960 And so it's basically just extra help for new grads. 441 00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,400 We have just different like seminars and stuff once a month 442 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:39,240 just so you are with people that you know are starting new as 443 00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:40,960 well. You just get the extras or extra 444 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,600 help. And so this is funny enough, 445 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,600 this actually is a Med search floor. 446 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,800 And so I just think that it's so crazy how you can say that you 447 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,640 don't want to do something and God's like, actually you are 448 00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:01,840 one. 100% so you end up going oncology but it's still Med surg 449 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:04,920 related or it's just the floor? Like I'm confused about that 450 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:05,480 part. Yes. 451 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:11,400 So Med surg, so we do have a lot of cancer patients that are on 452 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,920 the floor, but we also have a lot of like surgery. 453 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:20,400 So it's like split, yes. So I don't really know how to 454 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:23,120 explain it. I guess not all the patients 455 00:24:23,120 --> 00:24:25,240 that are on the floor have cancer, but a lot of them do 456 00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,840 because it is the oncology floor. 457 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,040 But I also thought that it was really cool that all the 458 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,440 patients that are in our hospital that are getting into 459 00:24:34,440 --> 00:24:36,840 flight care or they're on Hospice, they actually come to 460 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,200 our floor. Wow. 461 00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:40,480 So I just thought that that was really cool that that's, you 462 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,080 know, I'll take care of some of those patients while I'm kind of 463 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:46,520 doing, you know what I am now. So I'll get that expand. 464 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,000 What you told God you weren't going to do. 465 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,160 Yeah, what you want to do, what you thought about doing, and 466 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,320 what you told God not to. Got it all. 3. 467 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:59,680 Grabbed in one nice. And so while you were in school 468 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,760 for this, you were working at Southside. 469 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:04,520 How did that come about? Because your boyfriend brings 470 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,920 you, you just get plugged in, I'm guessing, and then go from 471 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,680 there, yeah. So after we broke up and I just 472 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,600 decided to dive straight into my faith, I started going on Sunday 473 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,640 mornings. I just sat by myself. 474 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,400 I decided to get plugged into a small group and I met a friend 475 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:24,640 through the small group and like, we started sitting 476 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,160 together, hanging out outside of, you know, church and all 477 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,840 that. And I just remember her telling 478 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,600 me like, you need to start serving on Sunday mornings in 479 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,240 the kids ministry. And I was like. 480 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,600 Love a persistent friend. I was like. 481 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,400 I don't even know what it means for me to follow Jesus. 482 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:43,000 Like how am I going to teach a kid like what that looks like? 483 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,880 And so I was like, no. And she was like, no, like you, 484 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,440 you need to. She was very persistent and I'm 485 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:52,560 so thankful that. And so I was like, fine, I guess 486 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,400 I'll just like go to the training and just see if I like 487 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,480 it. And I actually loved it. 488 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,520 I started serving with the 4th and 5th graders on Sunday 489 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:01,840 mornings. I'm still there. 490 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:04,280 Absolutely love it. Yes. 491 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:09,720 And so I remember it was, I think it was March when I 492 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:15,920 started serving of 2021. And so then it was getting close 493 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,840 to the time where Emily was trying to find people for kids 494 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,640 camp. And so she was like Aaliyah, 495 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:22,480 like, do you want to serve at kids camp? 496 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:28,200 And I was like, I mean, I guess, you know, and I just went and I 497 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,480 loved it. And I just think that it's so 498 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:35,480 cool to see a younger person's faith and just, and how much 499 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,600 they trust in the Lord. And it's just really an 500 00:26:38,600 --> 00:26:41,440 inspiration in my faith. It has been for the past three 501 00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,200 years. And I feel like it, it always 502 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,520 will be so special. I love it. 503 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:51,360 Do I love kids camp? No, no, y'all, it's. 504 00:26:51,400 --> 00:26:54,640 Got y'all, got me last. Year they got me last year, 505 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,520 y'all, I was like, you know what? 506 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,400 I love all the camps. I'm good with middle schoolers. 507 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,320 I love the high schoolers. I said I'll give kid camp kids 508 00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:04,480 camp a try. Not for everybody. 509 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,800 So y'all that love it. I'm like you go guys, but I do. 510 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:13,720 I one thing I did love was seeing elementary school kids 511 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,160 faith, that true childlike faith where it's like you know just 512 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:20,920 something that's so powerful what they said and I'm like 513 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,520 y'all don't even know how powerful that was. 514 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,840 You know, I'm like I know they were just speaking it, but I'm 515 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:31,480 like no, y'all cooked with that, you know, but it's just like 516 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,640 kids camp. I just it's it's just not for 517 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,040 the week, not for the week, but do it. 518 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,040 If Emily listen, she's going to like you strayed away everybody 519 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:44,640 from doing it. I'm not, it is. 520 00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,040 It is OK. And so I did the kids camp. 521 00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:52,080 Absolutely loved it, still serving consistently on Sunday 522 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,680 mornings. And I just remember I was in 523 00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,480 nursing. I just started nursing school at 524 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:02,240 the time and I was working at Chick-fil-A and I just felt like 525 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,600 I wasn't growing. I wasn't being developed in the 526 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,360 way that I felt like the ward was really like leading and 527 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:10,680 wanting me to be developed. And so I just remember at that 528 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,880 time, I was just praying, and I was like, God, I know that you 529 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,640 don't want me here. I don't really want any here. 530 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:20,400 Like, please reveal to me where you want me to work next. 531 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,440 But it's getting to the point where even if you don't reveal 532 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,080 it to me, like I'm willing to quit and just focus on nursing 533 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,800 school right now. I just know that you don't want 534 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,600 me here. So I don't want to, you know, be 535 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:31,680 in an environment. Yeah. 536 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,640 And so I remember that Sunday morning, Emily came up to me and 537 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,840 she was like, hey, so I just wanted to talk to you about this 538 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,640 program that we have at Southside. 539 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:43,440 And she explained the LDP program. 540 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,320 And I just remember I was like, yes. 541 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,200 I already quit my job and everything, I'm ready. 542 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,720 And she was like, Are you sure? Like you don't want to pray 543 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,080 about it. You don't want to think about 544 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,400 it. And I was like, no, like, I've 545 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:57,920 been praying about this. Like, I know that this is where 546 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:58,840 God wants. Yeah. 547 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:03,240 And so that next day that I worked at Chick-fil-A, put in my 548 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:07,040 2 weeks, Yeah. And then I started working at 549 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,400 Southside that next week and I've been there for. 550 00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,720 Wow for a couple years it was so hard for Elliot to leave like 551 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:18,920 you just it would just feel so empty without you there. 552 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,960 One I always get her to do my videos because I mean just look 553 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,760 at her she's so beautiful and she smiles and she's so well 554 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:26,560 spoken. I'm like please come in my 555 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,280 videos. But other than that, you know 556 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:34,000 like you just you just radiate you know positivity and light in 557 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,400 that kids ministry. I've seen you on stage with your 558 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,440 dance crew. Y'all be getting it, you know, 559 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:42,200 and it's just so sweet. And so I know that was such a 560 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:46,160 hard decision to leave even though like, I know you're going 561 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,120 to school to be a nurse the whole time. 562 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,120 But I'm sure like you were, you know, kind of being like, well, 563 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,920 is God calling me to be a ministry in the corporate 564 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,480 setting, like, you know, in the four walls of the church or take 565 00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:00,000 your ministry to the hospital, you know? 566 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,800 And so I'm sure. Did you ever think about that? 567 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,760 Yes, so I was actually in my second semester of school. 568 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:13,120 And so you have 5 exams and like for the semester and you have to 569 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:16,320 have a 75 to pass the class before they add like the extra 570 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:21,000 stuff that you do. And so I remember I failed my 571 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,880 second exam and so I had like three others that kind of bring 572 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,560 my grade up. And so of course, I'm like 573 00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,800 stressing and freaking out. And then it comes time to take 574 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:33,160 my final and I need an 81 to pass the class and I'm at a 80. 575 00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:39,200 So I felt the class with a 74.8 and I was devastated. 576 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,960 And I just remember praying and I was like, God, do you even 577 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:46,280 want me to be a nurse? Like it was so close, like 578 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,520 within my reach. I need one more question, right? 579 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:51,600 And I would have moved on. So are you like trying to tell 580 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,560 me that this is not what you want from me? 581 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:59,000 And I just remember him telling me like, if you were going to 582 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,040 fail and you weren't meant to be a nurse, you would have like 583 00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:05,160 flat out failed. Like, but you were so close. 584 00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,480 Like you're capable and you're able to doing this. 585 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:12,080 It's just I need you to learn more about me and grow in this 586 00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,040 area. And honestly, failing that class 587 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,760 and having to retake it and just being with a new cohort, it was 588 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:20,720 such a blessing. Like, I wouldn't trade it for 589 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,640 anything. I learned so much more, just got 590 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,320 involved, plugged in with so many, you know, different people 591 00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,800 and I was just able to relate to people a lot more and just 592 00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:36,320 remind them that failure isn't, you know, or just not a failing. 593 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,960 A class isn't failure. It might be a little bit of a 594 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,360 set back, but you're still capable and you're still able to 595 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:45,520 do whatever you set your mind to, whatever God is laying on 596 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,360 your heart to pursue. Absolutely. 597 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:50,200 So that's so good. Oh my gosh. 598 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:54,840 Because like the enemy will, he'll try to, you know, attack 599 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,960 our identity. And in that situation, you know, 600 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,120 he's like being like, well, you're, you're not good enough 601 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,160 to be a nurse. You're I mean, you're not smart 602 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,280 enough all this. But in reality, God used that 603 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,760 for you to make a whole new group of friends, be able to 604 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:13,400 spend more time with him and learn more to help you where you 605 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,480 are today. And so, you know, we never see 606 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,120 that. We only see the here and now 607 00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:20,800 instead of the future. And we get so caught up in like, 608 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,720 what's going on where it's like, have faith, have that childlike 609 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,720 faith to know that he has a plan and we're going to move forward. 610 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,000 Absolutely. So good. 611 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,280 And so I just knew that God was still laying on my heart that 612 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,720 Elliot, you, I'm calling you to be a nurse. 613 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,400 Like you'll, you'll figure it out. 614 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,080 Like it's going to be OK. I'm going to lead you just have 615 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:45,880 faith. And so I just remember saying, 616 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:50,920 OK, just finishing nursing school, you know, getting to the 617 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,760 point where it's like, OK, it's my last couple of days at 618 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,520 Southside and I, I love Southside so much. 619 00:32:57,520 --> 00:33:00,960 I just learned so much through the people that work there. 620 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,360 I just learned so much about Jesus. 621 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,560 Obviously I learned a lot about the ministry, but I'll just 622 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:10,120 learn a lot about myself and just the true meaning of 623 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,040 stepping outside of your comfort zone to share the gospel. 624 00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:17,920 And so I just knew, I guess I had a fear that I wouldn't be 625 00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:22,720 able to do that to share the gospel and where I was going and 626 00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:26,880 being a nurse. But I just remember God very 627 00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,400 clearly telling me that like, I'm never going to lead you and 628 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,600 call you to a place where you can't share my name. 629 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,840 And so I was like, OK, like I can do this. 630 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,160 I can figure this out. And so do I think sharing the 631 00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:40,560 gospel is going up to somebody and saying, hey, like, do you 632 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,320 know Jesus? Do you have a relationship with 633 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:46,440 him and very specifically and intentionally talking to 634 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,400 somebody about Jesus? Absolutely. 635 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,680 And I do believe that there are going to be times where I'm 636 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,480 going to be able to do that with my patients. 637 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:56,800 And I pray that I do because that's so powerful. 638 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,200 But I also believe that there is a way to share the gospel and 639 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,400 the way that you treat people and how you live your life. 640 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:07,560 And so I know a lot of the times whenever you talk to a nurse and 641 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,320 you ask like, why do you want to be a nurse? 642 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,159 It's oh, I want to help people. I want to take care of people. 643 00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:15,840 I love people. And that is true for me. 644 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:19,880 But I also just want to, I guess in the grand scheme of things, I 645 00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,440 just want to help heal people. And so I was just thinking 646 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,080 about, well, why, why do I want to be a nurse? 647 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:27,800 Like, how can I share the gospel in that? 648 00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:32,320 And so in the New Testament, Jesus is going and he's, you 649 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,480 know, teaching to tons of people, but even in the busyness 650 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,880 of that, he stops and he heals people. 651 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,600 And so I'm like, well, what does that look like in my life? 652 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:45,520 And so of course, and they're saying it's a lot, you know, you 653 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:50,639 have a 12 hour shift, you have or 56 patients, some of them are 654 00:34:50,639 --> 00:34:53,440 total care patients. They need, you know, assistance 655 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:56,239 to go to the bathroom, to feed themselves, to take their 656 00:34:56,239 --> 00:34:58,080 medicines, you know, whatever the case may be. 657 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,440 And then you have some patients that are able to do everything 658 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,200 by themselves. They don't really need that much 659 00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,920 help from you. And so I just want to go into a 660 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,760 patient's room and regardless of what the patient in the room 661 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,160 next door needs, I want to put all my attention and all my care 662 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:17,840 into that patient. And so whether that is me doing 663 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,960 interventions that's physically going to help them, physically 664 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,320 heal them, like I want to do that. 665 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:26,960 But also if it's me sitting down and just listening to them voice 666 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:32,960 their worries or their concerns, or if it is me just being that 667 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,720 person that just listens to them and is able to console them and 668 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,040 help them kind of navigate what's going to come next, Like 669 00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,640 I want to be able to do that. That's me helping them 670 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,000 emotionally and mentally, like whatever the healing looks like, 671 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,680 I want to be that person that can help them in that way. 672 00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:54,520 And so I just I pray that I'm able to step outside of my 673 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:58,000 comfort zone and just be very obedient to the Lord and 674 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,720 whatever that looks like, whatever it means for me to live 675 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:03,960 like Jesus, like I want to do that. 676 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:08,760 And so if that is me, just vocally like, do you know Jesus, 677 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:12,440 like let's let's pray, But if not, just going out of your way 678 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,440 to be kind, you know, just going out of your way. 679 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,400 I just have learned so much in the past six weeks that I've 680 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:21,520 been working. So many patients are saying, you 681 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,520 know, thank you so much for just taking a minute to just listen 682 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,080 to me or just taking some time to explain that to me. 683 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,760 Like nobody's ever done that before. 684 00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:33,080 Like you never know how something like that's so small. 685 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,240 Like me just explaining a side effect to this medication that's 686 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,680 so small, but then realizing, oh, like that's why I feel the 687 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:43,280 way that I do or that that's why I can't take this medication 688 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:44,800 with that one or whatever the case may be. 689 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,000 Like that helps them so much and they feel seen and they feel 690 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,400 heard. So I'm going to do when. 691 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,000 My husband was in the hospital more recently. 692 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:58,000 A nurse wrote a little like, I get well soon, kind of, but it 693 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:01,840 was more like personalized on his little whiteboard. 694 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:04,280 And the next morning when we woke up and saw that, like he 695 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,200 even was like, Oh my gosh, like that was so sweet. 696 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,440 So like patients feeling seen and stuff like that. 697 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,680 That's showing the love of Jesus, you know, radiating that 698 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,440 and justice, being able to show people like they matter, they 699 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,320 are seen. And so I know that you do that 700 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,720 so well because you make every every conversation that I've 701 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,640 been a part of with you. Like you can just see that you 702 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:28,560 are you're bought into the conversation. 703 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,040 Like it's never OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 704 00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:34,680 Like some of us get so busy with life that we're not really 705 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:38,080 listening to the conversation. We're listening to respond 706 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:41,720 instead of listening to hear. And with you, when you like are 707 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:44,360 listening to people, you can tell you're truly listening. 708 00:37:44,360 --> 00:37:47,800 And that's such a gift. That is such a gift. 709 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,680 And I need to do better. I need to do better because some 710 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,680 situations I'm like, I hear pits and pieces and I'm like, ah, you 711 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,080 know, I got it. I got to do better. 712 00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,280 But yes, I just love it. I know you're going to do so 713 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,840 great. And I know it's only six weeks 714 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,440 in, but you said you're loving it. 715 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,160 And that just is so incredible because when you find your 716 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,760 passion and you're in God's will like you. 717 00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,120 Love it. Absolutely you. 718 00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:12,680 Truly love it. And you know that you're doing 719 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:14,520 what God's put you on this earth to do. 720 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:17,240 Yes. So I guess as we begin to close, 721 00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:22,600 let's maybe talk about something maybe he's revealed to you more 722 00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,520 recently. Maybe something that you hope 723 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:30,680 that someone takes from this. Just any little little thing, 724 00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:34,080 big thing, whatever God has placed on you in this moment 725 00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,760 that you would like to share, maybe let's, let's close with 726 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:37,480 that. Yeah. 727 00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:42,280 So I just remember I was talking a little bit about it earlier 728 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:44,960 where after my mom passed away, I was angry at God. 729 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,880 And it was like, you know, God, you're able to, you were able to 730 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:53,160 heal my mom like I didn't you. And I just want that person that 731 00:38:53,160 --> 00:38:56,560 is struggling with that to just realize like, yes, God is able 732 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,560 to, but just because he can doesn't mean he will. 733 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:06,000 And I know that's so, so difficult to grasp, but I just 734 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:09,920 want to say that sometimes bad things happen to us. 735 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:13,080 And I've been reading in the Old Testament and one of my 736 00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,480 devotional talks about it. Sometimes bad things happen to 737 00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:19,360 us and their consequences for our sins. 738 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:22,920 But sometimes bad things happen just because we need to get to a 739 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:27,160 spot in our lives where we realize how much we need God. 740 00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:33,280 And so was my mom passing away a consequence for my sin? 741 00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,400 Absolutely not. But it brought me to a place 742 00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:40,920 where I was able to experience the pure and just true grace and 743 00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:44,120 love of God. And I could wholeheartedly say, 744 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,720 like, I don't think I definitely wouldn't have been a Christian 745 00:39:46,720 --> 00:39:49,400 at that point in my life, but I don't think I ever would have 746 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,600 because life would have been, you know, mandible. 747 00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:55,760 It would have been doable. And so, yes, bad things happen, 748 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:00,320 but you just have to get to a point where it's like, I'm not 749 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,360 going to really understand on this side of heaven why my mom 750 00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,160 had to pass away when I was 12 years old. 751 00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,120 But I know that she's with Jesus she does have a relationship 752 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,040 with. She did have a relationship with 753 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:17,120 God while she was here, and so I just had this abundant hope and 754 00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:21,520 joy because I know God and so that's just something to cling 755 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,240 to. Yes, absolutely. 756 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,240 I. Love it girl, this was so good. 757 00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,720 This was so good. You did amazing, just like I 758 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:33,480 knew you would. As we've as we close earlier, I 759 00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:36,520 said that we're going to circle back to Amy and I never did get 760 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,120 to Amy. You talked about her. 761 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,280 I didn't. So she was my softball coach in 762 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:43,440 middle school, right? So I've known her for years and 763 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:45,560 I don't know if it was her or coach Walton. 764 00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:49,680 Both both great coaches and they both wanted me to get the four 765 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,160 sportsman's org right. You know, you play softball, 766 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:55,960 basketball, soccer and like track and Amy like coached all 767 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:57,040 of them. I'm almost positive. 768 00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,560 And she was like, you got to play soccer if you want to get 769 00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,480 this award. And I'm like, OK, so she pushed 770 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:04,400 me, OK, to go try out for the soccer team. 771 00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:06,880 Girl, push me. I've never played soccer in my 772 00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,240 life. But she was like, no, come on. 773 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:13,360 Like didn't put me on the team, didn't make it, did not make it. 774 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:16,040 I tell that story to this day because I'm like, how are you 775 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:20,200 going to push me to come trial? And then you ain't even put me 776 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,080 on the team. Now I know I did not need to 777 00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:25,360 play soccer, but they kind of just put me on the bench 778 00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:28,640 something a manager. There you go. 779 00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,480 I mean, Watergirl, Watergirl. As long as I got the four 780 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,400 sports. If I was just on the team. 781 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,240 OK, Anyway, that was just fun fact. 782 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,640 And then when I saw her on your be real one day, I was like, 783 00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:43,560 wait a minute. My mom was like, yes, I forgot 784 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:44,800 to tell you. That's her aunt. 785 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:50,520 I was like, wow, small world. Anyway, this was great. 786 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:54,160 Thank you so much for coming on. Thank you such a blessing. 787 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,520 I hope you guys took something away from this. 788 00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,680 I hope that it ultimately pushes you closer to the Lord and you 789 00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:05,000 know, maybe you've been dealing with something similar and need 790 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,800 to talk to somebody, reach out, you know, find someone that's 791 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:12,560 further along in a journey that's similar to yours that can 792 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:16,760 help you and not only find someone that's further along, 793 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,440 but find someone that's maybe not as far along as you and you 794 00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:23,680 be that person to them. We just talked about that in 795 00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:26,960 church last week. Anyway, thank you guys. 796 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,280 Stay tuned. Stay blessed, and we'll see you 797 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:30,720 guys next week. Bye.