1 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:10,080 What's up guys? My name is Alexis. 2 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,080 And I'm Abby. And we are your hosts with 3 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,880 praises in the pod. We come on once a month and talk 4 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,720 about the goodness of God, what He's doing in our life, what 5 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,600 He's revealed to us, and so, so much more. 6 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,960 So we are going to start out in prayer and then we're going to 7 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,240 jump right in. So here we go. 8 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:30,600 Lord, Heavenly Father, thank you for today. 9 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:32,200 Thank you for all your many blessings. 10 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,960 Dear God, as many times as we do this, Lord, we just still want 11 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,960 to be fresh each, each and every time that we come on here. 12 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,240 We pray that you continue to stir in our hearts. 13 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,480 Lord, we pray that you calm our nerves each time we do this and 14 00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:46,240 that you just speak to us and through US. 15 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,960 Ultimately we just want this a podcast to glorify you in Jesus 16 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:51,120 name I pray. Amen. 17 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,800 Amen. Amen. 18 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,360 Yeah. Yeah, so we kind of just been 19 00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:00,880 talking about life, life and balancing things and just. 20 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,000 Balancing it all. So balancing, you know, just 21 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:11,080 family life, having a husband, church ministry, you know, 22 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:14,880 friends, gatherings, holidays, I mean, you name it. 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,800 Just everything. Because like, December was one 24 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,040 of the craziest months that I've ever probably had in my life. 25 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,440 Like it was like back-to-back to back-to-back. 26 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,040 And yeah, I didn't hear from you for a minute. 27 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,120 I. Know, like I'd have just been 28 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,480 busy, yeah. And think it's like that. 29 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,840 Yeah. And we know we're not the only 30 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:36,520 ones. Like, it's so many others, you 31 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,160 know, especially this time of year with kids and just 32 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,000 gatherings and traveling. Dude I couldn't even imagine 33 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:46,280 having kids into the loop business like it's a mess would 34 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:52,200 be insane. God Harder and Ansley are grown 35 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,520 right? I'm like, can you please be here 36 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,120 at this time? And they're here. 37 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,880 Yeah, right. I don't have to get them ready 38 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,560 or nothing. Yeah, but make sure they're. 39 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,040 Fed and have their Nas. Yeah, all of the above. 40 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,480 I was talking to one of my girlfriends and she was saying 41 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,720 how her kid wakes up so early that before they come to church, 42 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:14,720 like the kid already takes a nap and stuff and I'm like wow what? 43 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,680 Like that is old. That's early. 44 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:21,680 That is so early I could not. Thankfully, something Joe likes 45 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:25,320 her sleep, so we get at least until, you know, 7:30 or so. 46 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,360 That that's a blessing. And then we're heading off to 47 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:28,240 church. Yeah. 48 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,960 But yeah, I can't imagine. I don't like one of the things 49 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,520 that we were talking about was talking about balancing and 50 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,280 stuff. And to be honest, like I just 51 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:39,960 don't even seem fit to have this conversation or try to lead 52 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,000 anyone in a direction of like, I know what's going on technically 53 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,720 because I do not balance well like and I know. 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:51,720 See, I feel like you do. Really from an outsider looking 55 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,120 in like from me, it feels like my whole life is just chaos 56 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:58,360 right now. Like, but I know that it's 57 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,160 probably not as extreme as it is in my head, but at the same 58 00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:06,680 time, like I'm not doing well. I guess you said this yesterday 59 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,720 when we're kind of going over a few things and we're talking and 60 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,160 you were just like, you're going to suck. 61 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,240 Like things are going to start suffering. 62 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,000 Right when you have too much on your plate, when you. 63 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,720 Have too much on your on your plate, like you can't be fully 64 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,960 devoted to each and everything in your life. 65 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,840 You have so much. And I guess in that, in that 66 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:28,480 aspect, like I'm starting to see how I'm failing, not failing, 67 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,160 but like not doing as great as I possibly could. 68 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,800 Like each specific area is not getting 100% of you or maybe 69 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:40,320 even 100% of what God is calling you in that area because maybe 70 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:41,840 he's calling you to a different area. 71 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:44,960 And that's where that balance and trying to figure out exactly 72 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:48,000 where you need to be planted at. You know, and his purpose is 73 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,520 what gets so tricky because we continue to try to have control 74 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,040 over that in our schedules and what we want to be involved in. 75 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,720 And we think we need to be involved in this. 76 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:01,360 And so it just kind of that's whenever I have to feel like I'm 77 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,360 off balance, Yeah, you know, like we're trying to keep a 78 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:08,680 balance, but it just always goes back to like, Jesus has to be 79 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,720 first and everything. And then there's peace in the 80 00:04:11,720 --> 00:04:14,040 thing, right? Everything falls into place when 81 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:17,959 he truly is center, right. And you know, I really realized 82 00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:21,680 that in the past year because when I came back from camp, I 83 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:23,480 was on fire. I joined every ministry 84 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,760 possible. Like I'm now I'm taking 85 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,960 pictures. I'm in middle school, but I also 86 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:32,680 want to do a little bit of high school and I tried kids camp and 87 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:36,840 CR like the list goes literally on and on of ministries that 88 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,720 I've joined women's and everything as times went on. 89 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,200 Like I really love media. I've learned in this past year 90 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,480 how much I love media and photography and really just 91 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,760 being creative and I've learned that that is my purpose. 92 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:55,240 Like God has made me a creative And so like I'm, I hate to do it 93 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:59,520 in this fashion, but like I started kind of stepping back 94 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,800 from some of those ministries because I realized that I'm not 95 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,080 benefiting my kids that I'm supposed to be leading. 96 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:10,520 I'm not giving my all. Like I was hit or miss. 97 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,520 I didn't know like exactly what was going on, if I was going to 98 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:17,080 be there. And when Catherine came on and 99 00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,520 did her testimony, when she made a, she said something about the 100 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,360 kids or something. And I was just like, I made a 101 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:23,720 comment. She said I didn't mean to talk 102 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:27,760 to you about that. I looked at her and I was like, 103 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,960 am I getting fired? Oh no, like on your emphasis. 104 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,000 Yeah, like, I mean, we weren't recording. 105 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,240 Like, we literally just hit it off. 106 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:39,640 And I was just like, Oh my gosh. Like, I could tell in her tone. 107 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:42,600 Like, my spirit already knew. And she was like, it's not 108 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:45,560 necessarily that you're getting fired, but I do want to give you 109 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,200 an out because I do see that, like, your passion really isn't 110 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,280 there anymore with the middle schoolers. 111 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:54,080 Like, you just have so much on your plate. 112 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:58,760 And I was like, to be honest, thank you, like because I'm not 113 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,560 a quitter. I don't want to quit. 114 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,120 But at the same time, like I knew it was best for my girls. 115 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:05,840 Well, and that's something that's hard and that's true that 116 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:09,120 me and Dexter have felt before. You almost feel like you're 117 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:14,640 being disobedient and you really got to pray about it and you 118 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,240 know something to that, Pat's always said. 119 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,720 I swear, why do I always bring up? 120 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,960 Like Pat's your pastor, honey. I know, but it's like, I just 121 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,600 hold on to everything that I think he says, just because, you 122 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,880 know, that relationship is there and you just feed off of that 123 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,720 and you want it so bad. You want that knowledge that 124 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,200 they have. But he's always like, if I don't 125 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,640 have clarity, I don't move. Yeah. 126 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,040 And I'm like, oh man, that's so good because I'm always like, 127 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,600 OK, where? Where do I need to go? 128 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,040 What do I need to do? Yes, I go and he's just like, if 129 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:49,000 I don't have an answer, I'm not moving and I'm like, okay, so 130 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,920 just be still. And even though it's so simple 131 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:57,840 minded, it's so powerful too, because you really got to have 132 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:02,040 Christ 1st and listening to Him where He wants you to. 133 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,600 When you actually know that that is what he's calling you to do. 134 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,240 Yes. Because two, if I wouldn't have 135 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:12,400 already been praying about, like, how am I going to make it 136 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,880 through? Yeah, like, if I would have, if 137 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,160 I wouldn't have done that, like that could have been the enemy 138 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,160 trying to get me to step down from that ministry. 139 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,440 But the fact that I know my purpose now and I am in line 140 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,840 with God and I'm seeking Him constantly, I knew that that was 141 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:31,000 Him giving me a blessing. Right, you're speaking through 142 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:33,520 her. Yes, like you do not have to 143 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,600 keep adding things on your plate. 144 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:40,800 Like you can focus on one thing here, one thing there, like not 145 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,360 29,000. Yeah, and that's what kind of 146 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,400 happened to Dexter and I, you know, and I wrote down a little 147 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,680 note when we were talking about what we're going to talk about, 148 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:55,720 but it was, I'm so good about making my list, you know, OK, 149 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,560 Dexter and I are going to get involved in children's ministry. 150 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:00,800 We're going to do 1st through 3rd grade, which that's where 151 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,840 we're planted now. And I love it. 152 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,760 We want to help out, you know, CR, we want to do all of the 153 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,680 things and just to have something involved in so many 154 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,680 different things. And I just was making those 155 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,320 lists and OK, well, we're going to start doing these two 156 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,080 devotionals every morning, Dexter. 157 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:20,120 And it's like, where is Jesus at on that list? 158 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,800 Because sometimes we really get caught up more in the ministry 159 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,920 aspect of it instead of the Jesus. 160 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:30,880 Like we want to fulfill ministry, ministry, ministry, 161 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,240 but then we get so lost and so caught up in these things that 162 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:39,159 we're doing instead of focusing on Him and making sure that He's 163 00:08:39,159 --> 00:08:41,320 the center of it. And, and so that's something I 164 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,760 always got to come back to is OK, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, he's 165 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:50,280 got to be on my list #1 above ministry #1 above everything. 166 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,720 And I think the word that you used when you prayed us in was 167 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,040 fresh. And I got that from listening to 168 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:01,160 Mr. Reed's episode, just having that fresh heart or Christ and, 169 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,480 and, and a new way of waking up and, and serving him and 170 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:08,280 worshipping him every day and having that true desire, that 171 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,120 just freshness in your heart every morning. 172 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,200 And sometimes when we keep making those lists and, and 173 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:17,880 busy, busy, busy, it's that just kind of starts to dwindle and 174 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,680 you can see it fading in your life. 175 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,600 And so for me, when that starts to happen, I can feel that 176 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,800 happening. And that's when I'm like, OK, 177 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,080 Jesus 1st. And I don't even know where this 178 00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,320 is coming from, but I just feel it on my heart to speak about 179 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,960 it. Sometimes we get so busy and I 180 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,600 don't know if you've ever dealt with like just something in your 181 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,560 life that's heavy or you know, like your spouse is dealing with 182 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,760 something that's heavy or something that might be 183 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,880 aggravating you or just whatever it is in your life. 184 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:47,280 And I've sat back and had to ask myself, like, have you really 185 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:51,560 been praying about this? And that happened so much just 186 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:55,040 because of the busyness. I don't know if it's just trying 187 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,440 to get derailed off of our path, what it is, but sometimes I'll 188 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:04,960 realize, man, I really haven't been praying about that specific 189 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,360 situation. And it's because my eyes are so 190 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,000 focused on everything else around me. 191 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,960 And it can really get you off track so fast. 192 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:16,200 And that's what kind of pulls me back and makes me realize like 193 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:18,640 Jesus has to be first no matter what. 194 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:21,800 Yeah, I think one of the things when I went and I've went and 195 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:26,040 talked to Matt, our pastor, multiple times and like he makes 196 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:31,560 comments about how he has like certain days for certain people 197 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,640 and prayers and things that he's praying over. 198 00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:35,640 That's good. And he's like, you know, like 199 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,440 every Tuesday I pray for this, like every Wednesday like this. 200 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:43,120 And there are some things, you know, obviously every day, like 201 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,680 he says that he covers his kids in prayer every single day, 202 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:48,480 stuff like that. But like, that makes it so much 203 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,040 like easier maybe to maintain that prayer of life when you 204 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:56,120 have a schedule. Because if not like I've caught 205 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:00,280 myself, like I get so aggravating praying the same 206 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:02,240 exact thing almost every single day. 207 00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:05,760 Like one of those things like a struggle that I'm going through 208 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,360 or whatever. And I'm like Oh my gosh, I've 209 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:10,920 literally been praying this for like too much straight every 210 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,680 single day. Like and I get burnt out and 211 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:14,800 then I completely just stop. Well, it's almost like at that 212 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,400 point it's like, OK, I'm not going to pray about the thing 213 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,200 anymore. I'm going to pray about Jesus. 214 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,920 Refresh my heart on this situation. 215 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,720 That's good. Give me in a new eyes to see 216 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,520 what you're seeing in this situation and refresh my heart 217 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:33,360 on it because the desire to pray about it isn't there. 218 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,480 And I think just having that open relationship with him and 219 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,320 realizing that, like, you are my father and you are somebody I 220 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,920 can come to and you are somebody I rely on, but my heart isn't 221 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,760 there, Lord, and I've got to open up to you about it and, and 222 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:50,560 just have transparency with him on that situation. 223 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,840 I think that would help keep that freshness there. 224 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:56,880 Cuz that to me, like on the way over here, I'm not kidding. 225 00:11:56,880 --> 00:12:00,480 Like I really started to tear up whenever I thought about that. 226 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:06,480 Cuz like I want my hearts to just desire him and keep that 227 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,960 freshness there in that because it's like so powerful to feel 228 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:14,200 that for him and keep that alive in your life. 229 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:17,480 It just changes everything. But we can get so burnt out. 230 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,280 We can get so busy. We can just have so much going 231 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:25,040 on that that freshness, that love, that just passion is kind 232 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,440 of dwindling away. And I think that's what the 233 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,200 enemy wants for us in our life, honestly. 234 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,800 He does. I mean, because there's so many 235 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,600 times that you go to a conference or camp or something, 236 00:12:36,160 --> 00:12:39,200 maybe you read a book, like whatever in you, it sparks that 237 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,280 fire again. And then like as time goes on, 238 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,160 it kind of just starts dwindling, dwindling, dwindling. 239 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:49,320 And it's our responsibility to light it back up. 240 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:53,800 You can't just fall. Like once you identify that you 241 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:58,400 have fallen off this embers, it's not a fire anymore. 242 00:12:58,440 --> 00:12:59,640 It's just embers. You're just. 243 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:04,360 Settling. It's our responsibility to light 244 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,560 it back up, find a way to light it back up. 245 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,840 And that's one of the reasons why I do love going to so many 246 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,600 conferences and stuff because like. 247 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,360 You get so full. I get so full. 248 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,520 It's not the conferences, you know that. 249 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,520 It's not their responsibility, the presence. 250 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,240 Of the. Lord, there it is. 251 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,880 And it's like I truly know that I love to go. 252 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:25,920 I love to learn new things and really just be in that 253 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,560 environment. So it is our it's very important 254 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:34,960 to keep learning and like seeking to learn more, not just 255 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:36,760 not. Just not just getting a routine. 256 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,520 Yes, you know, I have kind of got that question and like 257 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:42,160 overheard it many times. Like how do you find your 258 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:44,520 purpose, right? Like how do we know what our 259 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:47,560 purpose is in life? How do you find it like whatever 260 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:51,400 and truly mine just like kind of felt in my lap. 261 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:56,600 Once you are aligned and you're always seeking God and you're 262 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,640 putting Him first, your purpose finds you. 263 00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,120 Like you? Really. 264 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,880 Find your purpose. And it was like I've been 265 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:08,000 writing my testimony like my full through and through one for 266 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:13,640 the past like week or so. And one of my what's it called? 267 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:18,680 One of my New Year's resolutions was to write a book this year. 268 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,040 So like I'm kind of like dabbling back and forth between 269 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:24,360 a testimony and book ideas and just going like whatever. 270 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,120 And so we're. Way off balance. 271 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,880 I'm kidding. But I started writing that one 272 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,480 of the things that I noticed throughout my life is I was 273 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:37,440 always trying to find my purpose. 274 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:41,280 And like, I was always thinking different things. 275 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,960 I was always just trying to find where I fit in. 276 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,640 And that really kind of goes with your identity too, because 277 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,800 like I put my identity in this, this and this, trying to think 278 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,520 that that was my purpose and that was never my purpose. 279 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,200 Right. I want to touch on that a little 280 00:14:56,200 --> 00:15:01,120 bit, you know, prior to, you know, having my relationship 281 00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:04,320 with the Lord and where it's at and now what that balance in our 282 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:07,160 life looked like or what life felt like, you know, our desire. 283 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,760 So I kind of want to touch on that for a minute. 284 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:11,600 Even though it kind of gets off kilter, there's always peace. 285 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:15,120 There's always just, you know, where you're meant to be, you're 286 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:17,600 in the hands of the Father. You still have peace in your 287 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,440 life. But I just remember, and that's 288 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,880 something I wrote down a time in my life prior to this 289 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:27,200 relationship. How messy it was, I guess I 290 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:31,640 could say, and just how unclear everything was in my life. 291 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,960 I just felt so lost. But it was it was more my soul 292 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,680 was desiring that relationship with him. 293 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:42,320 And I didn't know that because I always just felt like, what am I 294 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,960 supposed to do with my life? Where am I supposed to go? 295 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,320 What am I supposed to be as far as a career? 296 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,560 Am I supposed to stay in school? Do I need to go back to school? 297 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,520 Is this a person I'm supposed to marry or be married to? 298 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,720 Like it was? I never ever, ever had that 299 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,240 clarity. And I just remember my soul just 300 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,200 never feeling at rest. And so now, even though we're 301 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,920 talking about the balance side, on this side of Christ, there's 302 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,360 is just so much more peaceful. It is. 303 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:14,720 And that's like when they say he's the Prince of Peace. 304 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:20,840 Like it is one of the craziest things to me is like truly he 305 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,960 is. And he gives you so much peace. 306 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,360 And I almost say this every episode now. 307 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:28,720 Like you just don't know until you know. 308 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,680 And it sounds crazy how all these things could like you 309 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,480 could literally be in chaos around you, but your life 310 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,640 doesn't really feel like chaos because he just is living inside 311 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:43,080 of you peacefully. And you know, but before Christ, 312 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:46,520 I did, I mean, I was in straight chaos out. 313 00:16:46,520 --> 00:16:51,520 My soul was crying out to God. Like I wanted that relationship 314 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:54,000 with him so bad. And like I would even. 315 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,320 Make you didn't realize that's what your soul needed. 316 00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,920 No, we had no. Idea. 317 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,120 I had no idea that that's what my soul needed. 318 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,120 And I mean, even if I would just say prayers here and there and 319 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,720 I'd pray about certain things, like I have a prayer journal up 320 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,319 here somewhere. And I mean, I started that 321 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:11,560 prayer journal in like 20/18/20, no 2019. 322 00:17:12,319 --> 00:17:18,480 And I look back now and I'm like those prayers, like I wasn't 323 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:22,520 even in line with God, you know, like I never sought him to 324 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,920 answer those prayers. Like I was really just writing 325 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:26,960 in a journal. Yeah, really. 326 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,640 I mean, now a lot of those prayers I have went back and 327 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,000 I've highlighted like he has answered some of those. 328 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:35,840 But at the same time, it's like I was, I was really just 329 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,120 writing, not praying to me. Like that's what it genuinely 330 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,400 seemed like because I was just not like, how can we pray for 331 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,360 certain things? But we're not looking for him to 332 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:49,920 answer them, right. So I'm seeking answers, like you 333 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,840 said, with Pat, like he wants to find clarity. 334 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,880 Yeah. Well, how do you find clarity if 335 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,040 you're not in your word, if you're not going to church, if 336 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:01,840 you're not doing these things, like you're not really trying to 337 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,280 talk to God because you're not trying to get an answer from 338 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,320 him. Yeah, man, I just keep 339 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,480 referencing Cherie's episode because. 340 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:10,560 You need to meet Miss Cherie. I do. 341 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,920 I do. I loved her. 342 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:15,320 She is awesome. She's got some good little 343 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:16,200 Nuggets. Yes. 344 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,760 I'm like, I want to hold on to every little thing that you say. 345 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,800 I need to like put it in my memory bank. 346 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,600 That's. Quite good. 347 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,760 When when mom was at the Potter's house, I actually 348 00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:30,840 started going to her groups. Like she has a group every 349 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,080 Tuesday and Thursday. And so on Thursdays I would go 350 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,320 up there in her group and she gives like printouts and work 351 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,160 workbook things and like does questions. 352 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,800 Oh, it's so good. And I just learned so much. 353 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:47,200 Like truly, yeah, just Nuggets that she gives and like, it's 354 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,080 just great. Well, let's just touch back on 355 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,760 what you were saying when you were talking about, you know, 356 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,800 you were writing in your journal, you were writing about 357 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,240 certain certain things in your life, but you weren't like 358 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,320 actively seeking answers and and praying on them or praying about 359 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,480 that situation. But you know what her purpose is 360 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:11,280 that she said for her women, she referenced Philippians 419 and 361 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,480 it says, and this same God who takes care of me will supply all 362 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,840 your needs from his glorious riches which have been given to 363 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,680 us in Christ Jesus. And she said her main purpose 364 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:24,640 for her girls there is to experience his word for it to 365 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,880 come true in their life. And so that's so references back 366 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:32,040 to your journal and what you were doing. 367 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:36,400 And when you actually are seeking him and you find him 368 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:41,000 him, and you see his word come alive in your life, there's 369 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,760 nothing better than to experience that because after 370 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:47,080 that, you can't question whether he's real or not. 371 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:51,840 And when she said that, it brought me back to a time in my 372 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:53,440 life. I think it was like a year and a 373 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,280 half ago or two years ago. I might have called you after it 374 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,800 happened, but it's when Dexter and I really started taking 375 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,160 tithing seriously. Oh yeah, yeah. 376 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,840 You kind of remember this, but it was like the first time I 377 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,520 really experienced it because yes, I had peace in my life, but 378 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,680 we had some crazy things going on where it was, you know, there 379 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,720 was just craziness around us and I was trying to have my peace 380 00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:18,800 still in the Lord and, and, you know, seek him through it all 381 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:22,040 and just keep him first. And I'm it's, it's hard when you 382 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,600 have so much going on with your life. 383 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,840 And in our house that got hit in Florida by the hurricane and we 384 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,920 had just moved and, you know, Sutton had been sick all the 385 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,400 time. We were having medical bills. 386 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,960 There was just a lot going on financially and we kept trying 387 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:40,640 to just tithe and just kept trying to be diligent about that 388 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,040 and faithful about it. And it got hard for me. 389 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,080 Like I'm just that type of person. 390 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,760 I like to be in control of my finances. 391 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,840 She's a financial advisor. I like to know what's going out, 392 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,880 I like to know what's coming in, and if there's not clarity with 393 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,200 that, I get unedged. Like it just it. 394 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:01,240 It's not easy for me. It's somewhere I struggle. 395 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,720 But I'll never forget when we had to make a tithe that month. 396 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:11,040 You know, Dexter had a pretty good month. 397 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,720 I did too. And it was, you know, over 398 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,360 $1000. It was like 1100, twelve, $100. 399 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,240 And I was like, Oh my gosh, this is like a house payment. 400 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,400 I can't, I just, I was like, I can't do this. 401 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,600 Like this is not a good time. Can we just wait, Lord? 402 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,720 And Dexter's the one that's really good about putting me 403 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:30,040 like back in my place. And he's like, no, I did it it 404 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,920 it's going to be fine. And I'm telling you, I don't 405 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:37,400 know if it was the next day for two days later, I got a call 406 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:42,200 from my OBGYN because it was probably a year after I had 407 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,640 Sutton. And they called me and she was 408 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,120 like, hey, it was December. I'm just running our numbers and 409 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,320 finalizing insurance for the end of the year and saw that we owe 410 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:58,440 you $1100. And I was like, y'all owe me 411 00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:02,040 money, the doctor. That's rare with the Doctor. 412 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,120 That is rare and I'm like, maybe I should have been checking my 413 00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,520 EO BS like you're in the benefits like from your health 414 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,920 insurance and stuff because I clearly wasn't paying attention 415 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,640 either. And when I got that call, I just 416 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,120 sat there, I mean, literally in my car for like 20 minutes. 417 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:22,040 Like you're just experiencing His word and you're experiencing 418 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,800 His truth in your life. And there's nothing greater 419 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:28,320 because nobody can take that away from you. 420 00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,400 Nobody can take His word in what He just did in your life. 421 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,680 And you know it wasn't a coincidence and nobody can take 422 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,800 that away from you. And I'm glad you shared that 423 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,720 because, like, I mean, sometimes, so often those things 424 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,680 do happen to us in our life and we really don't share those 425 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:44,400 things. Like, yeah, they happen and we 426 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,960 know it and blah, blah, blah. But like, we really don't go out 427 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,640 of our way to share those things. 428 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,480 And that's one of the things that I've learned about the 429 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,600 Potter's house in Missouri and stuff like speak on those big 430 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,320 moments, right? Because you don't know, like 431 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,080 maybe someone that's listening to this is struggling with 432 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,280 tithing and they're like, Oh my gosh, how? 433 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:04,200 Am I going to do it? How? 434 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,560 Am I going to continue to do this? 435 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:09,720 But like God literally says he will supply you and he will, he 436 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,440 is Jehovah Jireh. He is the provider and he is 437 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,120 going to provide all the needs and supply all the things that 438 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:19,040 you need. So like with that, I remember 439 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,160 that day you called me and it was just such a confirmation of 440 00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,720 like how God was moving in your life when you're obedient. 441 00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,600 And that's just so important to keep in your forefront. 442 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:34,320 Like obedience Trump's all. Like, no matter what that looks 443 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:38,080 like, no matter if you look crazy to people, when you're 444 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:40,640 obedient to God, he's gonna, he is gonna make a. 445 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,440 Way and it makes that balance that much easier, yes, in your 446 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,880 life of of just keeping everything in line. 447 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:49,760 And I think, you know, going back to keeping that freshness 448 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:55,160 in our life and and having that renewed heart for him comes with 449 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,800 not having it all figured out right, because we have things 450 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:03,040 thrown our way and he molds us in a certain way. 451 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,920 After that situation, we feel like we've got back in balanced 452 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,440 and then something else comes our way and he's like, but hold 453 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,160 on, Abby, I'm I'm trying to teach you this and I want to 454 00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,520 mold you in this way. And this happened because of 455 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:18,000 this and in the moment we never know what's going on and you 456 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,160 know we don't have clarity and it's just crazy. 457 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,800 It feels crazy around us and, and we're so confused and 458 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,760 feeling lost, but he's, he's got the, he's got everything planned 459 00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,160 out already. When you were talking about 460 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,280 mold, I just kind of pictured like a cookie mold or something, 461 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,200 right? Like you put the stuff and then 462 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,440 you put the top. Like I don't even know what I'm 463 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:43,000 picturing in my head right now, but Jesus is the mold, right? 464 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:48,080 Like we want our life to fit perfectly and represent Jesus 465 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,280 and be just like Jesus. Like that's our, that's the goal 466 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,880 in life is to be like Jesus. So if we're placing our life to 467 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,080 be like Jesus and we put it in a Jesus mold, he's going to cut 468 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,360 things out of our life like to. Fit in there to. 469 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,960 Fit in the mold and that is really hard, you know, sometimes 470 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:12,480 because like cutting friendships or cutting, you know, places 471 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,000 that you go or normal routines that's in your routine. 472 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,080 Things that you even like and desire, Yeah. 473 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,920 That you wouldn't think. Is sinful or anything yes it's 474 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,720 you know gets cut or God put you in a different direction where 475 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,840 that's no longer in your life. But then again, he puts things 476 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,320 in your life too. And so I want to touch on that a 477 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:36,240 little bit because growing up, you know, I had family members 478 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:41,600 that were into riding horses. They rode western style, You 479 00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,400 know, we would go down to their their house during the summer 480 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,640 time and just hang out with them and ride dirt bikes, ride 481 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,400 horses. And I just remember from like a 482 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:56,040 being a little girl having this strong desire and love for 483 00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,320 horses. I was in high school and I was 484 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,720 able to go out and work on a farm. 485 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:06,000 I just remember the high school took over, we were hanging out, 486 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,280 you know, even though that was a desire of my heart and I loved 487 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:13,080 them, but I left that and I just kind of was like the world was 488 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:16,280 more fun. And for 10 or 11 years, I didn't 489 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,800 have anything to do with horses. And I started serving the Lord 490 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,200 and Dexter had mentioned riding horses. 491 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,960 He's like, I know you have a passion and love and desire for 492 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,280 them. Have you ever thought about 493 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,360 trying to get back into riding again? 494 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:34,760 Because at that point in time, all I was doing was being a mom, 495 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:37,320 working, coming home, cleaning, cooking. 496 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:41,080 And yourself and others. Yes, God put somebody in my life 497 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,360 that I ride with on a weekly basis now, and I didn't have to 498 00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,280 search for it. I did not have to look for it. 499 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,600 I didn't have to search for it. He brought a passion back into 500 00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:55,040 my life that I had not seen for 10 or 11 years. 501 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:58,960 And I'm telling you that would have never came back into my 502 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,240 life if I had not been trying to live for him. 503 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,040 And he knows your purpose. He knows what's best for you. 504 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:08,080 And that's another thing that we were talking about yesterday was 505 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,320 I was kind of talking to Alexis about. 506 00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:14,040 I had like a is it called an epiphany when I was out there 507 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,560 with the horses or not an epiphany but like AI thought. 508 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,000 It was like a revelation, right? Maybe. 509 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,560 I don't know, I don't know what the actual term is, but I was 510 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:26,400 telling her I hadn't, you know, this revelation because I'm 511 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:27,920 watching them. There's a horse out there. 512 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,080 He's a baby horse. He's like 2 that they're 513 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,920 starting to break. Basically take a wild horse to 514 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,640 make it where you can ride it. And he's constantly fighting 515 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,000 you. He he's not having it. 516 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,440 He don't want to do with it. And you're trying to teach that 517 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,440 horse that I know what's best for you. 518 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,760 I know which direction you need to go. 519 00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,560 And they don't want nothing to do with you and they don't want 520 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,680 to listen to you. And so I think my revelation in 521 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:56,440 that moment was like, God does that in our life. 522 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:01,800 He's like, go this way, do this because he sees the outcome, he 523 00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:05,400 sees the goodness that it can bring to your life and he sees 524 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,120 the ultimate plan for your life. And we are constantly pulling 525 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:12,440 back and constantly butting heads and constantly trying to 526 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,440 go the other direction. And if we would just submit and 527 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,360 commit to him in that, the clarity, the purpose, everything 528 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:23,560 just falls in place and it couldn't be more. 529 00:28:23,560 --> 00:28:28,280 True people always literally would tell you if you stop 530 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,000 drinking, if you stop doing this, if you start going to 531 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,800 charge you like your life will be better, and I always would 532 00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,120 fight it yes truly just like that horse. 533 00:28:35,120 --> 00:28:40,280 I always would fight it until finally you just like you 534 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:44,160 experience it on your own end, like you experience it. 535 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:48,240 And there's like just a case that you're or I was actually 536 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,720 reading for or John yesterday when he's talking about when 537 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:56,880 he's at the well with the lady and the woman at the well and 538 00:28:57,040 --> 00:29:00,880 she he's like, if you drink my water, you'll never thirst. 539 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,520 Again. And that is so true because that 540 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:09,120 stuff where I was constantly seeking and always thirsty for 541 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:13,520 the world and always wanting this different things, I never 542 00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,960 have been thirsty again since I've drank from the Lord. 543 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,600 Right when I've. Really surrendered it. 544 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:22,640 I know, I know and and talking about him putting purposes in 545 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,600 our life and bringing those things to our life is I did 546 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,200 write down Psalm 37. Four, take delight in the Lord 547 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,920 and he will give you the desires of your heart. 548 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:34,600 I mean, he really is that good. He knows our hearts, He knows 549 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,640 what we desire. He knows what we love and are 550 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,400 passionate about. Even though it's on this earth 551 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,320 and it's temporary, He still knows that. 552 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:44,800 Yeah, you were talking about how, like, it was 10 years, you 553 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,440 know, and the desires of your heart, you know, bringing things 554 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,120 back. And the same thing with my 555 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,120 godson. Like, I was so close to him. 556 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,720 And I'm going to probably cry about this. 557 00:29:56,200 --> 00:30:00,480 Me and his mom had had some things happen years ago. 558 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,200 And I think I went. I mean, when me and Greg first 559 00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:06,200 started dating, he thought that Jax was my son. 560 00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,720 Like, every picture, every profile picture, I was with him 561 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,360 all the time. Like all like always. 562 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:18,720 And so that spat happened and we kind of like separated and I 563 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,680 did. He was young at that point, so 564 00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,720 it wasn't like I could just like, you know, be around him 565 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,440 and stuff like without his mom or like pick, you know, I 566 00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:29,120 couldn't conversate without her being involved. 567 00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,640 You know, not like he had a phone and you could. 568 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:33,520 Call him. And so like years went by and I 569 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:38,640 remember like truly mourning that relationship like I would. 570 00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:42,080 Cry to Greg. About it, like I really, really 571 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:45,800 missed him and I just watched the years pass by and I wasn't 572 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,800 involved and I didn't do things with him and it was just so sad. 573 00:30:49,360 --> 00:30:52,680 And when I surrendered to God. He'll do it. 574 00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:59,480 He Kenzie reached out to me and she's literally like, you know, 575 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:03,040 Jax has asked about you and brought you up and stuff and I 576 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:05,360 just really would like to get y'all back connected. 577 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:07,800 Like no matter what we've you know, went through and all this 578 00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:11,120 stuff and it was just like haha just bald. 579 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,000 Because I wanted that relationship with Jack so bad. 580 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:16,640 But see and. God. 581 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,680 Didn't knew. That yes and and I remember like 582 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:24,440 that night saying God truly gave that desire of my heart, like he 583 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:28,960 knew that was something and now, you know, I see him, I talk to 584 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,200 him, he's actually, you know, grown with a phone and all this 585 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:36,280 stuff now and so like it's just different and not even just me 586 00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:40,280 and Jack's his relationship like I've watched God work through 587 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:44,400 Kenzie tube like we've, you know, a pot like we've talked to 588 00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:47,640 me and her and her husband and everything and just like I've 589 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,680 watched God truly move in their life where they've got involved 590 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,800 at church and they've really got involved and went on mission 591 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:56,200 trips this last year and all this stuff and it's just like 592 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:59,360 when God. See what happens when you 593 00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:03,680 submit, you know, and if there's anything that we can take away 594 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,840 from this and learn from this is we came on here wanting to talk 595 00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:09,240 about we need, you know, how do you balance everything? 596 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:11,600 How do you figure it out on this side of Christ? 597 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,760 And it just comes down to having Jesus 1st and submitting and 598 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,680 he'll take care of the rest. He took care of it with Jax in 599 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:21,760 your life and, and certain desires that you had, he's 600 00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:24,040 putting them in your life. He's putting passions in your 601 00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:28,280 life and and you know you're you're on his path your own 602 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,440 anymore. And the same for me. 603 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,320 People that doubt God's existence or they don't have a 604 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,840 relationship, or they don't understand surrender and they 605 00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,280 don't understand like how God can truly be doing all of these 606 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:44,800 things. If God's existence was not true. 607 00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:49,640 Let's just say that how do all of us have similar experiences? 608 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:54,360 How do all of us see and feel him and these things just happen 609 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:59,160 with no explanation or like there's not? 610 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,160 Secretary, Yes, the. Secretary the money, you know, 611 00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,600 the horses, jacks, like all this stuff. 612 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:11,120 How does all of this happen if there's no God, right, if you 613 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:15,280 don't have a relate like and then what is to say that I'm 614 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,880 better than you and God's not going to do it for you because 615 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:23,160 if he did it for me, that was an alcoholic that seek the world, 616 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,560 sought the world. I don't even know if I said that 617 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,720 correctly, but like, why would I be better than you? 618 00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:34,320 God can do for you what He's done for me and for you and for 619 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,880 so many other people. Yeah, that just brings me back 620 00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:41,040 to Luke 2 that I was, I've been reading about. 621 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:44,600 But you know, they said, the Angel said, don't be afraid, he 622 00:33:44,600 --> 00:33:46,680 said. I bring you the good news that 623 00:33:46,680 --> 00:33:50,680 will bring great joy to all people. 624 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:54,960 All people, all people. Not just me, you, my mom, your 625 00:33:54,960 --> 00:34:01,200 dad, like all, no all people. Denominations, everyone and and 626 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:06,560 what's so crazy is when you have the Lord alive in your heart, 627 00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:10,679 you learn to love all in that way. 628 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,760 And sometimes maybe this is just my flesh. 629 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:19,120 But you know, when I see Christians and and I don't see 630 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:23,520 that love in their heart for all or you see certain things that 631 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,800 people shame certain denomination or certain. 632 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:32,800 To me, it's just like how, because the love that the Lord 633 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:37,440 put in my heart is for all. This good news is for all. 634 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,360 And I feel that deep in my soul and I feel that deep in my 635 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,880 heart. And you want everyone to 636 00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,239 experience that. Like Miss Cherie, all of the 637 00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:47,840 girls that come through her program, they aren't there to 638 00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:51,480 get, you know, just sober. They're there to experience the 639 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,719 Lord, because He came for all. Oh, you know, and you say the 640 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,240 love. I mean, that's a fruit of the 641 00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:01,000 spirit. You know, we should be having 642 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,280 those fruits because you can tell a lot about a person's 643 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,040 spiritual walk by the way they bear their fruit. 644 00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:09,480 And, you know, a lot of people probably don't want to talk 645 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,400 about that or feel offended about that because they're like, 646 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:14,720 oh, well, you know, I'm just not a loving person. 647 00:35:14,720 --> 00:35:17,480 I'm not just a joyful person. It ain't about. 648 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,640 You. It's not about you, it's. 649 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,240 The fruit of the Spirit it's. The fruit of the Spirit and if 650 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,800 Jesus is truly living inside of you and you are seeking Him and 651 00:35:25,800 --> 00:35:28,680 you are in line. With him. 652 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,000 You're being molded and he is all of those things. 653 00:35:32,720 --> 00:35:35,360 When you were explaining the mold of the cookie, I just 654 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,600 picture the cross like I'm just picturing the mold of the cross 655 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:42,680 and like where what in the spirit that's alive in me that 656 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,840 is Christ like is getting put in that mold of the cross and what 657 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,960 needs to come out. And we constantly have to work 658 00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,160 on that in order to be more Christ like. 659 00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:55,240 That's good. Yeah, and continuing to ask him 660 00:35:55,240 --> 00:36:00,440 to reveal those things is big, is not just you choosing what 661 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,280 needs to be picked out and moved. 662 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:06,280 I need to ask God to reveal things to you and literally say 663 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:09,520 God what needs to be removed so that I can be more like you. 664 00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:13,240 Yeah, how can? And it will ensure more balance 665 00:36:13,240 --> 00:36:17,360 in my life for this ministry because, you know, if I am, you 666 00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:22,640 know, being selfish or, or not giving it at my all or, you 667 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:26,720 know, there's certain things in my life that I need to work on 668 00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:28,640 or get rid of. Yeah. 669 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,840 Reveal that to me and, and think that from him. 670 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,400 And it will just bring that balance, that clarity to your 671 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,040 life, if that makes sense. That's good. 672 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,960 All right, guys, I think that was pretty great. 673 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,600 We covered a lot. I think we're honestly getting 674 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:45,640 kind of better at this little bit, a little bit. 675 00:36:46,520 --> 00:36:52,640 But yeah, I mean, it's 2025 now. I have some big plans for 2025. 676 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:55,760 I know praises in the pod is just going to be extremely 677 00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,960 blessed and continuously trying to glorify the Lord. 678 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,960 And most of all, we just want to share the good news. 679 00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,200 We want to share Jesus with you, and we want to be transparent 680 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,360 about our lives and our struggles and show that it's not 681 00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:12,680 easy to walk it out with Christ, but it is worth it. 682 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,560 Yes. 100%. That's the number one desire of 683 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:20,280 my heart is that we keep him first, that Jesus is first. 684 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,680 He's glorified through all of this. 685 00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:25,080 Are we perfect? No, you guys probably can hear 686 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,560 that. So all of these episodes were 687 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:32,560 not perfect, but man, if we can just bring glory to the highest, 688 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:35,880 to our God through Jesus, through this podcast, that is 689 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,480 number 1. And I think that's, you know, 690 00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:39,600 your goal too. Alexis, through this podcast 691 00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,760 throughout this next year, is just keeping him #1. 692 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:44,920 Exactly. All right, guys. 693 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,560 So stay tuned, stay blessed, and we'll see you next week. 694 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:48,320 Bye.