1 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,760 What's up guys? My name is Alexis. 2 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,840 And I'm Abby. And we're your host with praises 3 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,840 in the pod. We are so excited to be back in 4 00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:21,120 the studio. I really say that every single 5 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,680 time. But it's such a blessing. 6 00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:25,360 It is be able to come in and talk about the goodness of God 7 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,960 and what he's done in our lives. So we're. 8 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,920 Being in the. Studio, absolutely. 9 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:31,280 It's in my favorite room in my house. 10 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,160 But anyway, we're going to start off in prayer and then we're 11 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,440 going to jump right in. So here we go. 12 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,240 Yes, Lord, Heavenly Father, just thank you for today and all of 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,800 your many blessings. Dear God, we just thank you for 14 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,520 all you have done in our lives that got us to this point today. 15 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:49,400 Lord, I was just sitting in church this morning and just 16 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:53,440 cannot believe how far you have brought me, how far you brought 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,680 Abby, how how far you've just brought us in life. 18 00:00:56,680 --> 00:01:00,000 You would have never been able to tell us that we were going to 19 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,040 have a podcast talking about about you and what you've done 20 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,760 in our lives. And we're just so appreciative. 21 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,840 We just pray that this podcast draws people closer to you, that 22 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,600 it pushes people closer to you, that they maybe learn more about 23 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,640 you and just be able to grow. We just pray that you speak to 24 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:19,200 us and through US today and let this episode glorify you. 25 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,160 In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 26 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,760 Amen. All right, so it's been a while. 27 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:28,280 All right, Kaza. No, it really has. 28 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,440 They were. It really has because we 29 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:34,480 recorded 2 two days in a row and then it's been like a month. 30 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:39,440 It's like we go or two, we go harder then then we kind of back 31 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:41,400 off and then. No, no, no. 32 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,200 I would record all the time, Abby, but you can't. 33 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,800 I'm in the studio like five days a week. 34 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:50,000 This. Is your like bedroom but? 35 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:54,560 This is I'm, I'm like I have 5 recordings in the last six days. 36 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:56,200 I've recorded almost every single day. 37 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,680 So I'm like, I would record with you once a week so we can jump 38 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,920 ahead. But you know what happened in I 39 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:06,880 did want to wait until after you have the baby, but you were 40 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,560 like, let's go ahead and do one more. 41 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,040 Yeah, so and I was kind of worried about that, but 42 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:14,960 sometimes you just never know postpartum how everything's 43 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,320 going to go, how's the baby, where, you know, where are we 44 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,080 going to be at if something's wrong? 45 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,800 So, you know, I just it's, it's going to get. 46 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:27,200 I just figured he was tired because at this point, like 47 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:33,480 you've been pregnant the whole time I've had a party since it 48 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,680 started, you've been pregnant I feel like. 49 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,080 I said the Dexter the other day, just trying to hint like, oh, 50 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,680 I'm tired, I said. I've been pregnant since 51 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:47,480 Mother's Day, since through 4th of July this summer, but you 52 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,080 know, Labor Day. It was better. 53 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,000 Memorial Day, Thanksgiving girl, I'm gonna keep going. 54 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,720 Halloween. Girl, you literally were 55 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:59,760 pregnant with Sutton Joe when it was hot and you were like 9 56 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,080 months. So this one's been a little bit 57 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,080 better just because it's just like it's been good weather. 58 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:07,120 Yeah, it's been great weather and good eating for sure. 59 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,920 So this one's a lot better than not a hot, hot summer. 60 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:16,360 Oh, I'm sure anyway. So last time we talked, when we 61 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,360 were trying to figure out what we're going to talk about, I was 62 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:20,520 like, let's talk about hurts, habits and hang ups. 63 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,280 Yeah. So because I talk about hurts, 64 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,560 habits and hang ups ever, like somehow that sentence gets 65 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,640 brought up like, almost every episode. 66 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,760 And I'm like, I want to kind of like, go into a little bit more 67 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:35,320 detail of, like, what those hurts habits and hang ups look 68 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,640 like. Maybe some hurts, habits, hang 69 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:42,160 ups that we struggle with, like, just all just hit it all. 70 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,640 Yeah. Just chat, you know, one of the 71 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,560 things that I was just. Because it's always talked 72 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,280 around, but it's never like talk directly about, yeah, what 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,520 you're saying and, and hitting those specific topics well and 74 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,560 then trying to really learn about them well, you know. 75 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,920 We have talked like, we have talked a lot about like hurts 76 00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,480 because we've talked about like our parents, right? 77 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Like your dad hurt you as a young child because he wasn't 78 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,160 there and all this stuff. And so we do talk about hurts a 79 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,120 good bit, but we don't really necessarily talk about those 80 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,880 habits. Here's the thing about your 81 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:20,320 hurts and when, if you don't identify kind of your like when 82 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,280 I think of a hurt, I think of a pain that started early on in 83 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:24,880 your life. And it's something that you have 84 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,320 to identify. And really you can't identify 85 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,440 until Christ sometimes reveals it to you because you're not 86 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,200 even aware of it. But those hurts are what 87 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,560 actually forms those habits in your life. 88 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,560 And you do it sometimes as like a coping mechanism. 89 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:46,400 So learning sometimes the habits help you see, wasn't really my 90 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,200 hurt because I've formed this habit. 91 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,640 Oh, that was straight going with it and now I got to retract. 92 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,920 And where did this start? So. 93 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:57,880 You know, that is so that really is so good because when I took 94 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:00,720 my 12 step, because we also talked about 12 step because the 95 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:04,520 word the term like hurts habits and hang ups come from CR like 96 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,160 right talks about it all the time and like I think it's 97 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,200 actually part of the curriculum. That's on CR mode. 98 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,960 And Celebrate Recovery. Yeah, it is. 99 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,200 I don't know how to say it any like. 100 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,280 Curriculum. Yeah, yeah. 101 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:22,080 But what I was thinking is when I was in my 12 step, I always 102 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:24,640 used to think that I like, I always knew that I was a really 103 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,200 controlling person. Like my like my tendency is 104 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,920 always to control things. And I never knew where that stem 105 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:35,120 from until I started going through those hurts, those 106 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,000 habits and those hang ups in my life. 107 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,760 And I realized that I couldn't control things as a control 108 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,640 things as a kid. So when I was able to start 109 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,640 controlling things like I want to hold on to that because of my 110 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:49,040 childhood and like those are things, those habits started to 111 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:52,160 form as a young age and those tendencies started to form 112 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,160 because of those hurts in my life. 113 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,200 Yep. So what started Yeah, pain that 114 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:01,040 you got to deal with the pain in order to correct the bad habits 115 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,840 that have formed a minute formed in your life. 116 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,480 But I was thinking about it too. For me and for you. 117 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:14,480 I know this is true. I forever thought that I had to 118 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:19,720 fix those things and fix myself and I had to. 119 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,720 OK, well, this is what's wrong with me. 120 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,640 I need to get rid of that in my life. 121 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,320 Or I mean, even just with the smoking thing, the drinking 122 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:28,800 thing, I mean, we could go through a ton of different 123 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:31,520 things, but it was like, OK, I've got to change that. 124 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,560 And I. Always thought that too. 125 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,080 Yeah, and that is another control thing. 126 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,920 That literally doesn't even come from us. 127 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,240 Because the longer you walk with Christ, he changes that. 128 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,280 Like there was not a time where I was. 129 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,680 Because every think about every time you try to quit smoking, 130 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,280 every time you try to quit gossiping or doing XY and Z, you 131 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:53,320 couldn't do it. Like you really can't because 132 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:58,920 your flesh is so entangled into that lifestyle where you can't 133 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:02,080 break free from that. The only way to break free is 134 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,600 Jesus Christ. That's what I was going to say 135 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,240 next. It's just learning to depend on 136 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,560 him, the true. Surrendering all of those 137 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,560 things. But how do you surrender those 138 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,600 things without identifying them first? 139 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:17,320 And so we do have to identify those that pain in our life, 140 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,160 those hurts. And then, you know, what was the 141 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:25,320 habit that formed from it And then the hang ups part being now 142 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:30,200 what are the lies that I'm stuck on because of that pain and now 143 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,880 because of that habit that I believe is true in my life for 144 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,440 you? I mean, I struggled with control 145 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,320 too. I truly believed that if I 146 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:41,320 didn't control certain situations, everything would 147 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:46,360 fall apart because life was over and without me doing it. 148 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:50,520 Which I mean, I still got to. I got to check myself. 149 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,080 It's a. Complete die and we get hung up 150 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,080 on that. So it's just a revolving cycle 151 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,920 that you know we need to try to really learn to work on but 152 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,680 here's an here's another thing. Before I gave my life to Christ, 153 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,880 I continuously tried to fix those things on my own without 154 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,040 surrendering to him those things. 155 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,520 Then I learned how to surrender them to him. 156 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:15,880 But it still continues With your relationship with him, it's not 157 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,040 over. You go away. 158 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:22,440 One of the things that I listen or I don't know where, OK, yes, 159 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:24,040 I do, yes I do. It was a TikTok video. 160 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,720 That's right, y'all? I mean, you just learned so 161 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,960 much. People are smart, OK? 162 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,760 Like and it really takes other people teaching you like 163 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,039 sometimes like yes, 100%. I'm not taking away from God's 164 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,760 work, God's words going to teach you and everything else. 165 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:45,600 But sometimes, like, light bulbs have to go off for other people 166 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,160 for the light bulb to go off for you. 167 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,040 Does that make sense? Yeah. 168 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,160 He's using. Yes, he uses people. 169 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,480 OK, so there's this guy, and I literally don't know what his 170 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,560 name is. Like, I think he has like a 77 171 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,240 and a puzzle piece. But he. 172 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,320 I think I sent you this video. So do you know what sin is? 173 00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,520 No, no, no. Hang on. 174 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:03,480 Yes. You know what sin is. 175 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,440 Yeah, but do you know where that comes from? 176 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,160 Do you? Like from the garden? 177 00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,640 Of no, no, no, like there's another. 178 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,400 Well, obviously yes, but there's another. 179 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,440 I forgot to turn that light off anyway. 180 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,440 Oh, hang on, sidebar so we can stay in. 181 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:21,480 Hang on. I'm locked lock. 182 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:25,680 In I'm locked in. OK, so where so I do remember. 183 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:29,720 Seeing a video? OK, but one of my high schoolers 184 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:33,120 taught me this archery. OK, and you go shoot a bow and 185 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:35,720 arrow and you're shooting into if you do not hit the bullseye, 186 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:39,040 that's called send. What is send when you do not 187 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:44,320 miss when you miss the mark? OMG, my mind was blown. 188 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:47,320 And then my 11th grade girl Ella, she looked at me. 189 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,840 She said you don't know what that is. 190 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:53,320 I was like girl, she already calls me chop dunk anyway, but 191 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,600 so literally I figured out that. But then I started watching this 192 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,560 video and I was talking about sin missing the mark. 193 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:03,360 Like that's our nature. Okay, that is human. 194 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:07,000 Because of Adam and Eve, Sin, sin entered the world. 195 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,320 And we? They first missed the mark, so 196 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:11,640 now everybody struggles with sin. 197 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,920 Yes, but transgression is completely different. 198 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,560 OK so I was talking to my mom about this the other day and 199 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:22,160 it's like she was just like transgression is just sin. 200 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:26,840 And I'm like, no it's not. Transgression is when you oh 201 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:32,000 like disobediently know that you are going against the will of 202 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,960 God. You automatically know that you 203 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,480 are missing the mark and you're choosing to do it anyway. 204 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:42,680 So, for instance, gossiping, because this has God has got me, 205 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,120 you know, he's been Clark in my sea. 206 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,520 But it's like, it's like when you're about to go to say 207 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,120 something, you're like, oh, I shouldn't say it. 208 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,640 I shouldn't say it because it's sin. 209 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:53,320 But then you're like, oh, well, God's going to forgive me 210 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,320 anyway. And you say it. 211 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,920 You know what I'm saying? That's a transgression. 212 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:00,600 You are literally. It's your nature, but it's your. 213 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:03,280 Nature. You're already choosing to do 214 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,240 it, and then what? Is it? 215 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,240 Inequity. Is that right? 216 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,320 Is that what you're saying? Inequity. 217 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:09,800 Yeah. OK. 218 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:14,400 And then that is when it becomes a pattern in your life where now 219 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,880 you're just stuck in a chokehold. 220 00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:18,760 You're in those chains just like drinking, you know, like you 221 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,880 went against, and then you continue to do it. 222 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,000 You would get blackout drunk making all of these, like, 223 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,640 choices. Now it's become like an 224 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:30,000 addiction in your life where now it's just a pattern, That's all, 225 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:30,480 you know. Yeah. 226 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:33,440 That's good. Man, I'm telling you folks will 227 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,480 really teach you something. God. 228 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:37,440 God's. Word. 229 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,280 That's where. But you know, like after that, 230 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:46,040 I've literally heard it, literally heard it read it and 231 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:48,640 everything else. But light bulbs go off and you 232 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,520 just learn and learn and learn. And I was talking to Greg about 233 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:54,400 it earlier and I was just like, that's one of the reasons why 234 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,680 the end of each episode I'll give like or testimonial 235 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,280 episodes. I say, do you want to close with 236 00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,240 a word of advice? Maybe you haven't gotten to talk 237 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,760 about something or what's God revealed to you? 238 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:08,920 Okay, Like what's God revealed to you? 239 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,680 What has he taught you because of those things like that? 240 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,240 Like somebody, you learn something. 241 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,080 You always, yeah, you always want to tell somebody. 242 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,640 Well, God's always going to work. 243 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:20,800 We're his vessels, yeah, messengers. 244 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,760 And he's always going to work through us to reach others. 245 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,920 And it could just be one person, they could touch multiple. 246 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:31,800 But if we truly are locked in with Him and saying what's on 247 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:32,800 our hearts? Yeah. 248 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,960 And we don't hold back and we do say those things. 249 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,640 It will touch something. It's meant for somebody out 250 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:39,960 there. That's how he is. 251 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,520 That's how he works through us. Which I always think about it as 252 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:48,320 like when you find out things and you learn more about God, 253 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,040 why would you keep that to yourself? 254 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:54,320 Why wouldn't you want to tell somebody next to you if you know 255 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,600 what he's done in your life? You would want that for 256 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,200 everybody, right? You know, this whole thing has 257 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,720 been brought up a few times. I literally don't know when it 258 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,920 started, but I'm just like, one of my friends. 259 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:11,120 Was it Kim's sister, Stephanie? She said maybe it wasn't. 260 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,480 I don't know. But they were talking about how, 261 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,320 oh, I'm so ready for God to come back. 262 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,480 Like, I'm ready, you know, to be called up. 263 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,760 I'm ready for those trumpets. Like, come on. 264 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,160 Are you, though? Like, is your neighbor saved? 265 00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,840 Is your family good with the Lord? 266 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,960 Like, yeah, we're so ready to go be with the Lord. 267 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:34,360 But have you done your part on earth to help save other people? 268 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:39,560 Because when you go there, they're going somewhere too. 269 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,920 And if you haven't done your part, then you're going to be 270 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,920 answering to that because, you know, this was a conversation. 271 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:48,200 I don't know if we talked about this on here and if we have just 272 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,520 shut me up, but I, I think it was in the same conversation 273 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,960 with my middle or my high schoolers where we were talking 274 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:59,440 about, you know, we always say, oh, we've already been forgiven 275 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:02,040 for our sins. Like God's going to what's 276 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,560 judgement day and all this stuff. 277 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,440 We're not going to be judged on the sins that we did on earth. 278 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,320 We've already been forgiven for those we're going to be judged 279 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,440 by. Did you do your part? 280 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,520 What did you do? God sent that person to walk. 281 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,440 Past you to do with what I gave you. 282 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,200 Yes, God sent that person to walk past you at the grocery 283 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:23,680 store crying. Or you could see that they were 284 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:27,800 physically, you know, emotionally upset and you chose 285 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,600 to just go about your business. But he sent them to you so you 286 00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:34,040 could tell them about Jesus. Like, you're going to answer for 287 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,080 those things. And I don't know where all this 288 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,440 came from, girl, but I'm hyped up on it. 289 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:44,000 Yeah, I'm hyped up on it. That's like Pat Pat said this 290 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,800 morning. It was so good. 291 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,800 But he was talking about, you know, because we're nearing 292 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,560 Christmas, the birth of Jesus and how he came. 293 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,440 I know this is coming out in February, so the. 294 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:58,600 Lowest of low, he came literally the lowest of low. 295 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:01,640 Nobody can get lower than the way that he came into the earth, 296 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,560 right? And was born where he was placed 297 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:09,680 and he died a death higher than any death anybody else on earth 298 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,560 basically can experience and covered all of us, everybody in 299 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,600 between, literally we're all covered. 300 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:23,040 And that was what was offered to us to save us from our sins, 301 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,640 from the from separation from God, right. 302 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,400 And that's for all of us, everybody in the in between. 303 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,600 And it sounds like it is sounds like such a who would not agree 304 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,920 and sign up for that. Like if you were somewhere and 305 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,800 you were having to sign up for something, yes, check, I'll take 306 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,680 that. That sounds greatly, of course, 307 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:49,840 but how many you don't? For how long did I not, you 308 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,280 know, because of what we're talking about today, we had so 309 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:57,080 many hurts, hang ups and habits and didn't ever learn how to 310 00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,760 really deal with them or even learn what they were. 311 00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:03,560 And so it's like you, you hear this story and you hear the 312 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,280 birth of Jesus. You hear what he did for us? 313 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:12,040 And we, we don't expect it. Which going off of that same 314 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:18,320 thing. I read a caption of somebody and 315 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,920 this makes me sound like I'm chronically online. 316 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:25,160 And I mean, I am OK, but yeah, I'm not. 317 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,320 It's part of my job too. So just chill. 318 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:33,280 But OK, so this caption said there's a murderer, OK, And he 319 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,960 is about to be executed. He's sitting in jail. 320 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,800 He's about to be executed. XYZ. 321 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,000 An innocent man walks in, changes clothes with him, sets 322 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:47,120 him free, and now the innocent man is being executed for the 323 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,400 murderer. And when I read that, and then 324 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:53,240 at the end, it said this is not about a murderer and XYZ. 325 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,640 It was talking about Jesus and I'm telling you, I've thought at 326 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:03,480 us multiple times about how imagery just teaches me so much 327 00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:07,560 because there's so many times that seeing isn't believing like 328 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:11,880 we like we've never got this physically see Jesus like the 329 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,079 disciples, but we know that he exists. 330 00:17:14,079 --> 00:17:20,119 We know He is the Savior, but those imagery moments, it's just 331 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:24,160 like it just solidifies so much more and I just grow so much 332 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,240 more in love with Jesus and what he's done and just so much more 333 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:31,040 appreciative when you think about those like modern day 334 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,400 things. Yeah, exactly like applying it 335 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,520 to. Picturing it that way, yes, 336 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,840 because just like how big God is, we can't fathom how big he 337 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,320 is. We can't fathom just the weight 338 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,400 that he carried for us, like there's nothing we could do. 339 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,920 So that's the that's the best thing about talking about hurts 340 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:56,440 and pain is bringing that to him to change us. 341 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,080 Because once we did that, it finally all started coming 342 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,080 together. I did. 343 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,360 Like there's no other explanation, yeah, other than 344 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,880 OK, I'm going to bring it to the foot of the cross because I 345 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,320 can't even tell you how many times I would literally say I 346 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,560 really want to quit drinking. I'm done smoking. 347 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:19,520 Like I, I even remember being like, God, please help me quit 348 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,320 smoking like I'm sick and tired of it. 349 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,360 And it's so funny because every time I did say something like 350 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:28,120 that or like try to pray about it, girl, I didn't with 351 00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:33,400 bronchitis, pneumonia, pneumonia, something would 352 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,160 happen girl, and it would get my attention. 353 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,640 You. Would for about a week. 354 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,600 And that's it. And then next thing you know, 355 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,280 I'm just picking it right back up because of that habit. 356 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:46,960 So really, a lot of times it's because I wasn't dealing with 357 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:51,560 where did those habits stem from and kind of given that to him 358 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,280 first. Yeah. 359 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,440 And I, and with both of our lives, some and everybody's 360 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,080 different. Everybody's story is different 361 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:01,320 and so unique and that it doesn't matter what your story 362 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,640 is, God's going to get the glory. 363 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,640 Yeah. It doesn't matter where it 364 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:07,720 started, where it's at. He is going to receive the 365 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:11,400 glory, no doubt, just like literally the birth of Christ, 366 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,800 the way it went down, the way things happened with the census 367 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,960 without them traveling, with the way he was born, like he is no 368 00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,480 matter what, going to get the glory. 369 00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:24,920 But it was just, it's just so crazy that we had to do it that 370 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,480 way. Like we have to do it that way. 371 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,640 We have to learn to truly surrender those things to Him 372 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,440 and that pain and Him reveal it to us, to try to correct those 373 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,600 habits in our lives. I'm trying to think because 374 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,040 you're saying that and I remember like there's this, like 375 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,880 God can say something over and over and if you really wanted 376 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:47,080 to, like he could take that complete thirst away from you. 377 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,760 Like he can take that away from you. 378 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,520 But like at the end of the day, do your part. 379 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:56,640 Like if you really do want better for your life, do better. 380 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,120 Like try. I mean, I'm not saying it's 381 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,560 going to be miraculously, you know, not hard and all this 382 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:06,200 stuff, but you what is insanity? It's literally insanity. 383 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,800 You're doing the same thing over and over and again and expecting 384 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:10,640 different results. Try something. 385 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,680 But just don't quit. Don't quit because he's going to 386 00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,400 do it. You, you better believe if you 387 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:22,480 are fully, wholeheartedly seeking the Lord, that stuff 388 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,880 that you're struggling with, it will it it, you're going to be 389 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,000 set free. And that's the difference 390 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:33,200 between deliverance and just getting sober or just being 391 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:34,960 lukewarm in your faith and all this. 392 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,480 That's good. Dexter told me this and I think 393 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,960 we probably talked about it, but truly repenting about truly 394 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,200 repenting and being delivered. And ever since he said that, 395 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,520 something has just really went off in my head and I'm like, I 396 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:50,440 am delivered. I am delivered from them chains 397 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,600 of alcohol and smoking. It's not even something that I 398 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:58,160 would even play with my entertain, you know, like y'all 399 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,600 crazy, you know? But I just, I mean, the devil 400 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,000 won't ever try to come at you with your weaknesses. 401 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,080 But it's not even anything. Now that is a struggle. 402 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,120 No, there's no struggle with it. Yeah, I. 403 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,920 Love my life without alcohol. I love my life without smoking. 404 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,800 Like I've never been healthier in my life. 405 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:23,800 Yeah, and I hit 30, girl, and I'm I'm healthy and don't play 406 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,200 with me. Now, Abby, you just had a 407 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,920 birthday and you were really starting to get up there. 408 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,240 Oh, I feel it too. Yeah, But, you know, just stuff 409 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:37,600 like that has been really on my mind about just people wanting, 410 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,560 you know, something different because we get so caught up 411 00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:43,400 sometimes of like, well, I've been going to church, like I've 412 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,040 been reading my Bible and stuff like this. 413 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,080 But at the end of the day, if we're still partaking in those 414 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:54,320 same acts of sin and those same things, sin separates us from 415 00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:57,720 God. So the longer that we're sinning 416 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,280 and we're doing those, I don't know how to use the word in a 417 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:04,200 verb tense or whatever, transgressions, as long as we're 418 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:09,560 partaking in the transgressions, we're getting further and 419 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:12,880 further away from Christ. Like he if he lives inside of 420 00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:15,440 us. And so yeah, he's present and 421 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:17,760 there, but he doesn't want to partake in sin. 422 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:22,640 He was a sinless, spotless lamb. Like he can't be present if sin 423 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,560 is there. They're completely two different 424 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,080 things. So like, I just wish that you 425 00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:32,320 could just give somebody like that one word that I know that 426 00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:35,960 would change everything, but until you understand, you don't 427 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,240 understand. I always looked at it like what 428 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,800 are we going to feed the much? And when I heard that, and when 429 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:49,040 I saw that, because me and next were having a conversation the 430 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,800 other day and I don't, I can't recall exactly what it was 431 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:57,200 about, but he was like, no, that's not like the first thing 432 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,400 I wake up or the first thing I want to do, right? 433 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:02,800 And I'm like, OK, well, that's fine. 434 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,720 That's normal to feel that way. That's our nature to feel that 435 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,240 way. But what are you, what are we 436 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:10,560 going to feed? Are we going to feed that 437 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,560 nature, feed into it? That Hey, I really, this isn't 438 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,600 what I want to do. I don't really want to get into 439 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,600 my word this morning. I don't really want to serve my 440 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,160 wife today or husband today. I don't really want to. 441 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,360 You could say I don't really want to do a lot of things 442 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:26,600 because that's your flesh and that's your nature. 443 00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,320 And if I'm going to feed that, you will stay in that. 444 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,640 But I'm going to choose now to not feed that. 445 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,360 And I'm going to feed, you know what the Word says in 446 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:40,440 righteousness, and follow that way and try to, because then 447 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,120 your flesh almost starts to strain out. 448 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:47,840 Then your flesh is not yours anymore because you fed so much 449 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:50,360 of the Holy Spirit inside of you that you've awakened. 450 00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:55,080 Now that's more of what comes up as His nature in you and not 451 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,760 those fleshly desires. That made me think of like where 452 00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,240 it's like, I don't know when people say like, I don't know 453 00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,320 what I even am reading in the Bible. 454 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,800 Like, you know, why am I going to continue to read it? 455 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:06,880 I don't even know what I'm reading. 456 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,600 Well, or like I couldn't tell you what I read yesterday 457 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,080 before. I couldn't tell you what I ate 458 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,520 last week either. But I know that it nourished my 459 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,200 body. I know that it pushed me through 460 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:19,760 and gave me the strength. So the longer you do it, the 461 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,480 more you're going to learn, the more you're going to want to 462 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,200 jump into the word. But when days go by and you 463 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,320 don't, it gets easier. It's like the gym, right? 464 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:32,640 Like you go to the gym, you're in a, you're in a good rhythm, 465 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,280 you know, you're working out. I'm not, that's not me, baby. 466 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,680 I'm not going to no gym. And Taylor Toms don't come for 467 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,160 me, 'cause I'm still not going to burn. 468 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:43,760 But you're, you get in this rhythm and you're doing good. 469 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,880 But when you start missing those holidays, run around and you're 470 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,920 like, oh, that's good. Then it's hard to get back in. 471 00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:53,080 So that's why it's important to know that when you wake up and 472 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:55,200 your eyes open and you don't want to jump into the word. 473 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,520 Better, better to do it. You got to jump in. 474 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,640 You need it the most right then. And my mom always says this too. 475 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:04,440 Like sometimes she's like, man, you know, like Thursday nights, 476 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,160 it's a late night service, don't start till 7. 477 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,600 Sometimes you're tired. We already work at the church 478 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,240 too, so we've already been there all day. 479 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:14,840 And my mom's like, man, I really wanted to stay home. 480 00:25:15,120 --> 00:25:16,560 Like I did not want to come to church tonight. 481 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,840 And she said, but I knew it was going to be a good word because 482 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:25,120 when you don't want to go so bad, the, the enemy's working. 483 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:27,560 He wants it's you to be like, no, stay home. 484 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:30,320 But when you go, you'll be like, hang on, why not? 485 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,600 I say this a word for me. This is my word because we 486 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,640 always talk about, Lord, give me a word, give me a word, give me 487 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:39,240 a word, give me a fresh word. That's for me and my season that 488 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:43,600 I'm in and everything else. Are we going and being act like 489 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:48,480 are we actively listening with open ears to hear those words or 490 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,960 are we just going to check the box? 491 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:52,520 Yeah, yeah. That's good. 492 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:56,200 Well, I'm piped up. I know I can tell. 493 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,920 I didn't even hear her Red Bull or anything that. 494 00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:00,680 I don't have that energy right now. 495 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,560 You're. Like 9 months happy. 496 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,880 I know, I know. But I guess the good thing. 497 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,960 What? OK, this is what's so crazy is, 498 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,200 you know, he already knows everything we do. 499 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,920 He already knows everything we struggle with, right? 500 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,080 So why is it so hard sometimes to just give it over to him? 501 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,560 Yeah, like, are we going to trust him completely? 502 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:30,400 That's where I struggled the most with was giving up trust. 503 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,240 Because again, why? Why did I struggle with that 504 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,360 habit? Because growing up, the pain, I 505 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,400 lost trust from everybody that came into my life. 506 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:41,960 They left. Something happened. 507 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,720 Yeah. Trust was always broken. 508 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,200 It wasn't ever there, Right. So then that became a habit that 509 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:52,080 I didn't trust nobody, girl. I didn't trust not a soul. 510 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,920 I didn't even, I didn't even. I don't even trust myself. 511 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,960 Then I Yep, Yep, you know, I'm sad. 512 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:03,440 I have a very memory that I'm like and you didn't trust me 513 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:05,800 that one time either because you would spend the fist fight me in 514 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,520 your living room. But I trust was a big issue in 515 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,120 my life and a bad habit that I started forming and 516 00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:17,960 automatically having. I'm losing my train of thought. 517 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,800 When you have an assumption about somebody automatically and 518 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,320 you don't trust them, you seem the worst. 519 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:25,440 So that's something I always struggled with. 520 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:31,360 And so when God was like, just give it all to me, that's 521 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:38,000 surrendering 100% trust to Him and truly giving all of it to 522 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,000 Him and trusting what He's going to do with it now. 523 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,200 That's where I struggled. Yeah, that's where I was like, 524 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,720 but I got questions. Yeah, I want to know. 525 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:49,880 Hold on. Wait, what if it's not what I 526 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,280 want? What if, yeah, what if it comes 527 00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:55,600 with this? What if I have to go do this and 528 00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,960 I'm terrified to do that? What if I have to? 529 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:02,440 So I mean, even just sitting right here, I never thought that 530 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:04,880 I would be talking on a podcast. I would have been terrified hot. 531 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,680 Now I'm not doing that. Like, so all of these questions 532 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:12,080 come up in your head, but it's the trust aspect that's so huge. 533 00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:16,440 You've got to learn to just give that over to him because once 534 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,800 you do, it is the most beautiful thing ever. 535 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,760 I never would have pictured in my life where it's at right now, 536 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:27,800 but it could not get any better than it is truly 100%. 537 00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,640 And someone could have told you like, this is where you'd be, 538 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,240 and you still wouldn't believe, right? 539 00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:35,360 Like you could have somebody could have showed you a picture 540 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:38,560 and you'd be like, that's a yeah, that ain't me. 541 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,480 Right. Like who is this family? 542 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,320 What are they? Yeah. 543 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:47,120 And that is just so crazy. Is like you don't know what God 544 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,800 has in store. Like if we truly know that he 545 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:54,960 has good plans, like his plans are to prosper us and not to 546 00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,600 harm us, what does he got going on? 547 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:01,320 So I don't know who needs to hear that about it, a trust 548 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,840 thing and giving it to God, because even if it's like I'm 549 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,920 trying to choose where me and my family need to go to church, I'm 550 00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:11,120 trying to figure out, you know, how do I give all this over to 551 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:13,640 him? I'm trying to just, you know, 552 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,080 and you end up with all these questions and they're going on 553 00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:20,160 in your head and instead of just being like Lord and you just put 554 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,680 your head down and you just hand it over to him and you're like, 555 00:29:23,680 --> 00:29:26,920 I, I am nothing without you. I give it all to you. 556 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,880 I can't do this without you. Help me in every single sense of 557 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,120 my life, wherever it takes me, I'm good with it. 558 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,720 I want to be obedient to you. And he'll start revealing all of 559 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:42,440 that stuff in your life and he will completely transform it and 560 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,360 transform your life in the best way possible. 561 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,240 You just have to completely trust them with it. 562 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,760 Sometimes for me, I become almost like not all the time. 563 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:55,880 Please do not hear this but sometimes like I feel like I 564 00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,040 just am moving like I almost trust and I'm not trusting too 565 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,520 much isn't the right word like but it's like sometimes I don't 566 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:09,000 consult God before I do something because like I'm like 567 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,600 oh. I'm trusting him, just all from 568 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,160 him almost where sometimes you might need to have some bar 569 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,800 rooms. Yeah, like. 570 00:30:15,920 --> 00:30:19,880 Or like, is that my flesh? Is that my flesh making me think 571 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,800 that this is a godly decision like this is from God. 572 00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,400 And like, that's when it's important to know that sometimes 573 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,720 you do got to like somebody made this example. 574 00:30:29,720 --> 00:30:31,560 I think it was Tanya Bethune on her episode. 575 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,080 She said, we don't just like, we don't write blank checks. 576 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:39,280 Like there is like thought and prayer and stuff behind stuff. 577 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:42,120 And sometimes like, I like that because I'll dive right in. 578 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:43,880 I'm like, this is what God's calling me to do. 579 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,720 And I'm like, have I consulted with God first? 580 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,360 Like, and sometimes like there's two other people, you know, 581 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,160 there's like you and you're, you're trying to get like more 582 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,480 confirmation. You want, you want to see it, 583 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:58,760 you want to do all this. And I'm like just running this 584 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,480 way and it don't even it might not even be what God has for me 585 00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:03,760 because I'm trying to run too fast or I'm trying to go above 586 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,320 you're trying faster before him, before him. 587 00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:10,040 Yeah. And I was reading in Isaiah. 588 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:14,560 I'm trying to like, I don't know why I was drawn to Isaiah. 589 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,680 Maybe because our editors name is Isaiah and I just was talking 590 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:18,760 to him. I was like, you know, I've never 591 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,640 read that chapter or that book all the way through. 592 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:25,680 And I've been reading it right now and I always say, Lord open 593 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,160 all the doors that need to be open and shut all the doors that 594 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,000 to be shut. And I read that yesterday in 595 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,480 Isaiah and it's like no door that God opens can be shut by 596 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:38,680 anyone and no door that God shuts can be opened by anyone. 597 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,520 And like, it's sometimes like even in prayer, like I say that 598 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,840 in passing, but truly like I want God to go before me to lead 599 00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:52,200 and guide and, and to write like me to trust him and follow him, 600 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,840 right? Stop trying to jump in front of 601 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,840 him. Exactly. 602 00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,320 And and go ahead and make assumption and go ahead and 603 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,880 answer your own question about if it's from him or where do I 604 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,280 need to go? And I'm trying to answer that 605 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,240 question like just sit back and just really give them your 606 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,360 heart. Just sit back and give them your 607 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,040 heart. Mean it. 608 00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,720 I mean be, you know, 100% transparent, open. 609 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,360 Also, if you think of for Matthew 633, seek first the 610 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:20,160 Kingdom and all of his righteousness and all those 611 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:24,480 things will be added to you. That was another thing too that 612 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,480 recently just clicked and it's like if you're doing whatever 613 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:33,120 you're doing in life truly 100% to glorify God and you're 614 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:38,760 seeking him first in his Kingdom and his righteousness may then 615 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,240 that is God's will. That is God wanting you or 616 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,920 leading you in guidance. You know a lot of. 617 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,880 Times when you are seeking first the Kingdom of God, He. 618 00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:50,800 Makes it apparent. That. 619 00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:55,440 But what I was going to say is it you are out of the picture. 620 00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:02,040 What you want or desire ain't even in your thoughts, not even 621 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,760 in your heart. It's not even in your mind 622 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:08,960 because you desire Him and what's best for His Kingdom over 623 00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:12,760 everything. So you, you know, when you are 624 00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,960 coming into it and you are truly wanting that and praying that 625 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:21,760 over your life, you've got to learn to set your desires, 626 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,560 unfortunately, to the side and is almost bad as that can sound. 627 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,520 It's not. That's how you find true 628 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:31,280 freedom. That's how you find that true 629 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,640 peace in your life. And everything that we always 630 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,200 talk about is really because you're laying your life down and 631 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,360 you're laying your wants and desires down because the Kingdom 632 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:42,640 of God comes first. Yeah, I think about like people 633 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:49,440 that say yes to being I just totally lost my dreams off girl. 634 00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:58,840 This pregnancy ring not going on a a trip, a a serving trip, a 635 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:04,240 mission, a mission trip. But people that holy people that 636 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:07,720 just give up their whole life to move to into every country 637 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:13,880 should be on mission, man. That's probably the selfless, 638 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,520 most selfless thing you can do for the Kingdom of God, right? 639 00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:20,199 But if you really sit down and talk to them and we see and 640 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:25,440 they're in our church, how fulfilled they are, because it 641 00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:26,960 has nothing to do with themselves. 642 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,159 It had everything to do with the Kingdom of God. 643 00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:32,560 And I'm not saying you got to go on be a mission to get there. 644 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:33,679 We're all on. Mission. 645 00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,639 But all should be audition, not just going to these other 646 00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:40,400 countries and stuff like this. The people in the grocery store, 647 00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:44,679 the people in your neighborhood. We should be on Mission, period. 648 00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:48,040 Our life should be on mission. Yeah, for sure. 649 00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:50,760 I think about it and I kind of relate it to like, being a mom. 650 00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:55,480 Everything I do now is literally for my family. 651 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:58,720 Yeah, I can't tell you. Like I don't wake up and say to 652 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:01,000 myself, what do I want to do today? 653 00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,200 Like I want to go shopping. I want. 654 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:10,480 I need this or I need to go buy this for myself. 655 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,600 Like I used to be that way. I used to wake up and be like, 656 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,880 oh, I want this outfit for this day. 657 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,600 And I'm what are we? Doing Friday night, what do I 658 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:22,360 want to do Saturday night? And it was I I, I I and now I 659 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,520 wake up and I'm like, OK, what is my daughter name? 660 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,160 You know, I what it what does she need for food, nutrition, 661 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,640 that you know, clothing, just every my goodness, you could go 662 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,400 down the list for school stuff that just stuff don't stop. 663 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:41,320 And what like she's in like 3K? Yeah, not even in school. 664 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,480 Not even literally there, but. And what does she need? 665 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,440 And you know Dexter, what is on his schedule? 666 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,640 What does he need? Food for tonight? 667 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:53,720 Dinner. And you're totally, you don't 668 00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:55,200 even think about yourself anymore. 669 00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,200 And here I am probably needing a new pair of socks or something 670 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:04,760 like that just starts to happen. When you have a family and you 671 00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:09,920 love them that much, you give your life up for them and 672 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,720 everything you do now is for them. 673 00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,280 You don't even do anything for yourself anymore as a mother, 674 00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:21,080 you give it completely up. But if we do that with Jesus, 675 00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,640 wow, where our life would go. And that's what I mean when I 676 00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:29,240 say you have to wake up and trust Him completely and your 677 00:36:29,240 --> 00:36:32,280 thoughts are consumed with just Him and what He wants for you. 678 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:35,200 It has to work the same way. That's good. 679 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:40,480 Now have we talked about Hurts having some hang ups today or is 680 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,480 this awesome Hurts having some hang ups? 681 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:43,640 Central first. OK. 682 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,160 Because I'm like, I don't think I've said that in about 30 683 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,320 minutes. You don't have to say the term 684 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:54,800 to realize that what we struggle with and how to give it to Jesus 685 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,760 and our habits that we've had. That's right, come from certain 686 00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,800 pains that we've had in our life and learning to bring it to the 687 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,360 foot of the cross in Jesus and what he can do with it. 688 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:06,800 Yeah, really and truly, that's what it boils down to. 689 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:09,840 That is true. I was just like, wait, I haven't 690 00:37:09,840 --> 00:37:13,320 talked about, not like my hang ups, my hurts, my habits. 691 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:14,880 I talked about none of that. Well, let's go. 692 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,400 Into like I guess your examples and then my examples. 693 00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,440 So you even started off. Maybe you'll trigger me to think 694 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:23,480 about some stuff because I didn't write none of that. 695 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:26,440 I mean, I didn't either, but I mean, I just know off the top of 696 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:31,040 my head, you know, go ahead. I mean, because, and here's how 697 00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:34,040 I thought about it. A pain, a hurt in your life, a 698 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:39,320 lot of times come from wounds that weren't caused by you 699 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:41,000 yourself. They were caused to you. 700 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,880 It happened to you, right? Which happened in my life as far 701 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:49,640 as when my dad left and then my mom had us, she was raising us 702 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:54,280 and moving from house to house, never knowing, never having 703 00:37:54,280 --> 00:38:00,680 security, never having somebody, you know, set in our life, never 704 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:04,800 having a father figure. All of those things kind of led 705 00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:07,600 to the pain of I don't trust anybody. 706 00:38:07,600 --> 00:38:10,720 I definitely don't trust me. And I definitely don't, you 707 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:15,240 know, have a relationship with somebody that I can see through 708 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:18,320 that will be there for me forever, right? 709 00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,040 So that was hard to, so that pain came against me. 710 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:26,480 It wasn't something I chose as a child, but then I realized too, 711 00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:29,880 pain sometimes in our life can be because of our own choices. 712 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:34,480 So I made a lot of choices in my life that caused a lot of pains 713 00:38:34,840 --> 00:38:38,880 and I had to do things to cover it up, do things to try to go 714 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,360 around the pain that I did, the bad things that I did which 715 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:46,720 caused bad habits in my life. So really in the bad habits 716 00:38:46,720 --> 00:38:56,880 would be control or just really things like for me it was a lot 717 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:59,760 of it was control and not trusting, not learning to trust 718 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:04,000 people trust God, trust what he could do in my life and believe 719 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:08,080 in lies about what God like the power of what he had for me and. 720 00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,800 You know, a lot of it, people don't want to believe it, but a 721 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:15,600 lot of who you are today really does stem from your childhood. 722 00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:17,800 Yeah, it really does. And how you're. 723 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,040 Raised but that's why I was going to say some of my habits 724 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:25,440 that started off was coping was like smoking and drinking, being 725 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:29,720 social with those people try to try to yeah, to try to feel 726 00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:32,680 accepted or try to see if or that it made me feel like maybe 727 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:34,240 these people really do care about me. 728 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:38,000 Maybe they will be around or I just don't have to think about 729 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,120 it anymore and it's gone. It just numbs me. 730 00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:44,920 I just want to, you know, I don't have to live in those 731 00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,920 moments or think about that or, you know, what do I want to do 732 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,160 with my life? I just never even wanted to turn 733 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:52,720 that on. I just wanted to keep it shut 734 00:39:52,720 --> 00:39:56,200 off and say that's why we would stay drunk on the weekends. 735 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:57,840 Literally. Like, I didn't want to have to 736 00:39:57,840 --> 00:39:59,400 think about anything other than that. 737 00:39:59,920 --> 00:40:02,960 So those were the obviously the bad habits that came from it. 738 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:07,480 And then just the lie that God had something for my life, like 739 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:10,360 where we're sitting today. I did not believe it. 740 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,840 Yeah. I didn't trust it. 741 00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,800 I didn't believe that it would ever get there. 742 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:18,000 I just knew that. I kind of stay where I was at. 743 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:21,000 Nobody would ever truly love me. I didn't care. 744 00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,680 That's why I made the choices that I made and ended up getting 745 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:29,040 a divorce at a young age, having an affair, just all full circle 746 00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:34,680 things that coping mechanisms that are so bad for your life 747 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,800 because of the pains that you have and you never deal with 748 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,400 them. And then you don't believe that 749 00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:41,360 God can truly do anything with that. 750 00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:45,920 You don't believe that he can 100% transform your life because 751 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,800 then you start questioning Him and you don't just fully trust 752 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,760 Him. Yeah, I mean that is that Jenna? 753 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:57,040 She's like, yeah, that was mine. Too. 754 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,880 Yeah, that's exactly what I was like. 755 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,920 No, but like really, a lot of it is just because we were raised 756 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:05,640 pretty similarly, like, except for your mom and stuff. 757 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,880 But I was with my grandparents XYZ and I struggled trusting 758 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,720 people. I wanted to take control and you 759 00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:15,160 know, like I was just thinking like this is something that has 760 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:20,920 truly, once I discovered this, it was like a game changer for 761 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,360 me. Not even a game changer, but 762 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:25,560 whatever. So if you have heard the very 763 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,840 first episode He Called My Name with my mom, then my mom does 764 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:33,600 talk about how she was molested by her stepfather when she was 765 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:35,320 young, right? Like she was a kid. 766 00:41:35,920 --> 00:41:39,560 And so one of my first memories, like one of my very first 767 00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:45,880 memories in life is her and my Nana always like telling me 768 00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:49,040 about this, like trying to prevent this from happening. 769 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,880 Like you tell if somebody else ever touches you or XYZ. 770 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:56,720 Like always, that was always a topic in my life. 771 00:41:56,720 --> 00:42:01,760 So it made me so fearful to be around men like to be around 772 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,240 like just guys in general like all this. 773 00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:08,760 And then when I got older, I became like promiscuous, like 774 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,680 because I like I didn't know how to be validated. 775 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,680 I didn't know like I didn't and I didn't really grow up in a 776 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,080 loving home. Like I 100% like if you've ever 777 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,800 met my Nana, like, you know, she's a loving person, but like 778 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,560 we don't touch, right? Because once you've been abused, 779 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,240 it's kind of hard to like be a loving, like my mom's not a 780 00:42:28,240 --> 00:42:31,440 touchy feely person because someone violated her. 781 00:42:31,440 --> 00:42:33,920 Like they, they took advantage of a child and all this. 782 00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,040 So that trickled down to my life. 783 00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,680 And that's where I began struggling and I was hurt as a 784 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,760 child and it never even happened to me. 785 00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:46,720 But that hurt passed on from generation to generation where 786 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:51,040 my mind, I have a trauma mind. Like it probably did. 787 00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:54,200 Like, and I hate to say that because then you think that 788 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,000 people think it didn't even happen to you. 789 00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:00,320 Like shut up, you know, But like I have a trauma response. 790 00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,560 Like, I mean, you could ask my husband in the middle of the 791 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:05,800 night, like I get freaked out if someone touches me or like 792 00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,920 something like I'm just scared. Like I, I don't know. 793 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:12,640 But that was a hurt that I experienced as a child that 794 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,240 turned into habits later on, where now I'm seeking men's 795 00:43:17,240 --> 00:43:19,440 attention. I'm seeking that validation. 796 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:23,040 I just want to be accepted. Like yeah, I'm scared, but I'll 797 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,080 still fist fight. You Don't play with me, you 798 00:43:25,080 --> 00:43:27,000 know? Like I'm angry you. 799 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,600 Thought that it probably wasn't possible for a man to love a 800 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:31,840 woman, right? So you should was seeking that. 801 00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:37,640 And then, you know, just I learned over time or I taught 802 00:43:37,640 --> 00:43:40,000 myself this over time. This isn't, this was a negative 803 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:43,960 core belief that like, oh, I'm not worthy of it. 804 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:47,800 Like why would this this, this is how I live? 805 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:51,440 Like now, obviously no man can really actually love me because 806 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,200 like I've done some terrible things, right? 807 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:58,480 And you know, XYZ. So that's just stuff that I 808 00:43:58,480 --> 00:44:03,920 learned through 12 step. Like and I had never even voiced 809 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,800 the whole like my mom, like that being my thoughts as a kid. 810 00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,480 Like I had never voiced that until I was what, 28 years old 811 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:13,200 when I took my 12 step. And I never even acknowledged 812 00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,680 that. And so I had one lady reach out 813 00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:17,680 recently. I think I read a comment and she 814 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:21,960 was like, where do you take a 12 step? 815 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,560 And so like, I would just like, if you're listening to this and 816 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,320 you're like, I don't want to know more like whatever. 817 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,400 So I'd go home like Google maybe and type in like Celebrate 818 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:35,280 Recovery near me because every CR, every Celebrate Recovery 819 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,400 that's in your area, they do have 12 set. 820 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,880 Like that is part of their curriculum. 821 00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:45,280 Yeah, it is, It is. So I would get plugged in and 822 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:49,240 you know what, Pat was talking about this the other night at CR 823 00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:51,720 and he's like, it's a, it's a commitment. 824 00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:55,040 Like this isn't something that you do in one to two months. 825 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:58,080 Like you're signing up for 9-10 months. 826 00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:01,080 Like it depends on your class. But like, I remember towards the 827 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:05,600 end, I'm like, come on. And I found so much healing the 828 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:09,320 last like month or two because you just get real. 829 00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:12,320 What these groups of ladies that you're with, you know? 830 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:17,200 Yeah, I loved it was so nerve wracking to me. 831 00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:19,800 So if you're nervous about it, that's totally normal. 832 00:45:20,120 --> 00:45:23,720 But it was so nerve wracking to me to answer your questions out 833 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,640 loud and really have to talk about your hurts, habits and 834 00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:31,720 hang ups because it makes you truly evaluate everything in 835 00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:35,320 your life. You have to go back to as far 836 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:40,200 young as you can remember, literally to try to deal with 837 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:44,680 and the let the Lord truly transform your life. 838 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:48,480 And I, I read something the other day when I was getting 839 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,080 ready for the episode, but it's like a relationship with Jesus, 840 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,360 Like freedom doesn't come from fixing ourselves. 841 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:57,400 It's from walking with him and Christianity a lot of times. 842 00:45:57,400 --> 00:46:00,640 So we get this confused because it's not try harder or do better 843 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:04,680 or clean yourself up first, which was the mindset I had for 844 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,480 so long. And I think you did too, because 845 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,080 we would try to clean ourselves up, try to do better, try to do 846 00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:10,720 better, and it just never worked. 847 00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:14,040 But it's about surrender, dependence and transformation 848 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:18,640 through grace, through what he already did and realizing once 849 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:23,200 we realized he's already fought the fault, we just have to give 850 00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,920 it all to him. Then that's when that true 851 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:31,720 transformation happens. But and I just think so much 852 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:35,200 about my favorite verse. Come to me all who you are weary 853 00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:40,480 and I will give you rest because it is so true, so true to that 854 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:44,200 He will do that and I just have never felt more rested in my 855 00:46:44,200 --> 00:46:45,560 life. Almost, yeah. 856 00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:48,760 Not saying we don't go through times of in season. 857 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:50,160 But you've been saying you're tired. 858 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,680 Yeah. Physically. 859 00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,600 Not spiritually or mentally. Physically, my girl. 860 00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,920 Now, I'm tired over here, but you're going to go through 861 00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:00,320 seasons. Yeah. 862 00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:03,160 And like I think I've said it before on here, if you don't 863 00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:07,240 come out of that season and have learned something, we missed the 864 00:47:07,240 --> 00:47:08,880 mark of what God was trying to do. 865 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:11,280 If you don't learn something in a season, you probably going to 866 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,840 go back in that season. Oh, that's real. 867 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:17,120 Good that you know what? You just kidding me that Just 868 00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:20,680 kidding me that. God is really good because that 869 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,720 is so true because I have seen somebody get tested in the same 870 00:47:25,360 --> 00:47:29,120 area over and over again. And it's even happened to me 871 00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:33,080 where it's like I failed it and it's coming again because you, 872 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,120 you know, we have got to learn through those seasons of life. 873 00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:41,040 And I have what's all happened to me through this pregnancy and 874 00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:46,560 everything I've went through, man, it has like really, really 875 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:49,440 done something to me in my spirit and my relationship with 876 00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:51,280 him and learning to trust him more. 877 00:47:51,640 --> 00:47:54,440 Because I know we're sitting here saying all of these things, 878 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,080 but like I said in the very beginning of this episode, it's 879 00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:01,120 a continuing factor. This don't just you don't just 880 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,960 wake up tomorrow and you're done. 881 00:48:04,040 --> 00:48:09,000 Yes, Jesus took it all, but it's a daily thing we've got to do. 882 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:12,800 I mean, just so every episode that we do, we're on literally a 883 00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:15,760 roller coaster. I was crying my eyes out last 884 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:19,840 episode because I was so tired. I'm still tired because we're 885 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,000 still in the Christmas season, Sorry. 886 00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:26,880 But you know, like there's still things going on, but it's just 887 00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:28,680 part of life. There's going to be ups and 888 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:29,920 down. There's going to be spiritual 889 00:48:29,920 --> 00:48:31,480 highs, there's going to be spiritual lows. 890 00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,600 There's going to be valleys and mountaintops. 891 00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:38,800 All for him to get the yes every time and it's supposed to teach 892 00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,080 somebody else, teach us to teach somebody else. 893 00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:45,640 But even, you know, and one of the things I've always struggled 894 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:51,080 with was just what we're doing now, not public, like this isn't 895 00:48:51,080 --> 00:48:56,360 really public speaking, but more just being vulnerable and, and 896 00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,160 public speaking to people. That is like really just throw 897 00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:03,400 me for a loop. But he has done something to me 898 00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:07,040 so much in the season where I'm just like, I whatever. 899 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:11,400 And I finally agreed with Crystal and signed up to go do 900 00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:14,280 like a mini Moani or whatever for the teenagers and stuff. 901 00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:18,600 So like he is really trying and you go through those seasons for 902 00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,320 this to happen, for him to just keep working in your life, keep 903 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,720 doing things that you never thought were possible. 904 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,400 I never thought I'd be sitting here comfortable enough to talk 905 00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:31,360 to people or, or talk to. Yeah, talk to a lot of people, 906 00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:34,080 really. Because I saw this episode, you 907 00:49:34,080 --> 00:49:35,440 were like, I don't know if I can do. 908 00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,320 I couldn't. I was, you're like, I'm like 909 00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,000 Abby. It's supposed to come out 910 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:41,000 tomorrow. It was a. 911 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,760 Because back then, honey, I was recording and. 912 00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,560 Putting them out the next, I mean, I was scared to death. 913 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,720 I was shaking. I was like, I can't do this in 914 00:49:49,720 --> 00:49:52,760 my head, but that's where you just got to go. 915 00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,720 OK, Lord obedient. Oh, my goodness, I just got it. 916 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,680 Yeah, you got to get me through this because this is not what I 917 00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:01,240 want to do. But it's going to continue 918 00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:04,240 throughout your relationship of walking alongside of him, and he 919 00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:07,520 will continue to transform you until the day we leave this 920 00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:08,640 earth. Yep. 921 00:50:09,200 --> 00:50:11,720 So get up, get up, get up, get up. 922 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,560 Back he don't work on those hurts habits and hang up for 923 00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:16,200 forever. Yep. 924 00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:20,080 Anyway, So I think that's about it, girl. 925 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:21,640 You got something to close it or that's it. 926 00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:22,720 You want to close it on that night. 927 00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:27,040 I thought that closed. That was it period per all right 928 00:50:27,040 --> 00:50:28,640 guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed this as 929 00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:32,440 much as I have and you know what we love a like we love a share. 930 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:36,280 We love a comment XYZ. If you are following us on any 931 00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:39,000 of these like platforms, make sure to rate US because that 932 00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,640 just allows other people to find us and all all of that good 933 00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:44,320 stuff. It's not about numbers, it's not 934 00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:47,400 about that stuff, but we do want to reach other people so that 935 00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:49,360 they can. You can be encouraged. 936 00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,840 Anyway, here we go. I hope you enjoyed this. 937 00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:55,240 Let's stay tuned. Stay blessed and we'll see you 938 00:50:55,240 --> 00:50:56,440 guys later. Bye.