1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,200 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, your host with 2 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:07,120 praises in the pod, and I am so excited to be here with Ivy 3 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,840 Cleveland today. We are going to be talking about 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,760 her testimony, ministries and just life in general. 5 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:17,520 We are so excited to hear what God has done in her, through 6 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:20,720 her, and just continuing to do. We're going to start off in 7 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:22,240 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 8 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:24,920 So here we go. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 9 00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:27,240 for today, thank you for all your many blessings. 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,240 Dear God, we just pray that you continue to go before us and 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,560 open all the doors that need to be open and shut all the ones 12 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:37,320 that need to be shut. Lord God, we pray that you speak 13 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:41,040 to us and through US today. And Lord God just let this 14 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:43,480 glorify you. In Jesus name I pray. 15 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:44,800 Amen. Amen. 16 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,360 Amen, Ivy. I'm so excited. 17 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,520 When you said yes, I was like we are going to have some fun. 18 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:53,320 Yes girl, thank you so much for having me. 19 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:57,640 It's such an honor to be here. Love it, love the pod, love the 20 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,640 praises in the Hod. Thank you. 21 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,920 Go girl, so proud of you. Thank you. 22 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:06,360 I mean, you just are such a little bombshell and feisty. 23 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,480 I just love it so much. When I watched you at Rock 24 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,640 Springs, like I was telling you at one event, I was like, she is 25 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,840 just a little firecracker. I love it. 26 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,040 I'm the lost. This is by seat, but I do love 27 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,000 Jesus. Amen. 28 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,240 Me too. So let's talk a little bit about 29 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,280 your testimony. Let's jump in a little bit into 30 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,840 your childhood. Like how are you raised? 31 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,080 Did you know of God? Did you have a relationship? 32 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,440 Tell us a little bit about your childhood. 33 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,480 Yes, so I gave my heart to the Lord when I was five years old. 34 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:41,120 I wasn't really in a big religious home. 35 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:45,000 Now don't get me wrong, my family talked about Jesus. 36 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,240 We went to a little small Southern Baptist church called 37 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:53,000 Sharon Baptist Church, Shout out Griffin, GA. 38 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,760 But it was just more so that you just showed up at church and 39 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,520 then when you came home, it really didn't really talk much 40 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,400 more about it. However, I remember very 41 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:09,680 specifically, there was a Sunday school class and the lady talked 42 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,600 about Jesus and having a relationship with Jesus. 43 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:15,320 And I will never forget I was five years old. 44 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:18,560 I was playing with a tea set. Did you have a tea set? 45 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:22,800 OK, Every tea set known to man. OK Love tea sets. 46 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,080 I was playing with my tea sets and this single wide little 47 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:30,280 trailer we lived in, and I knew. I just felt it in my heart like 48 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,600 what she was talking about was real, Jesus was real and he 49 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,040 wanted a relationship with me. And now that I have children, 50 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,800 I'm like 5 years old. That is crazy to think, but it 51 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,800 was a real moment for me. And I ran out of my room and I 52 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:50,000 went to my mom and I said I need to ask Jesus in my heart. 53 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,360 And she prayed the sinner's prayer with me and I gave my 54 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:57,760 heart to the Lord at five years old and the floor of my bedroom. 55 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,080 And then obviously, as you grow and live out your faith, I 56 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,000 rededicated my life to the Lord when I was 14 at something 57 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,280 called Youth Explosion in Thomaston, GA. 58 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:13,840 And from then on, I mean, I was sold out to Jesus. 59 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:17,240 My mom was a very hard working mom. 60 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:24,320 She worked very, very hard. My dad was a dad who loved me. 61 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:28,480 I knew he loved me. He always gave me compliments, 62 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:33,440 He always told me how beautiful I was, but I wouldn't call it a 63 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:38,640 Christian home. And so anything that related to 64 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,480 my walk with the Lord I had to do on my own. 65 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,240 And so, and I don't want to say that to shame my parents in no 66 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,840 way. I mean, I want to always be 67 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,520 respectful because I really do believe they did the best with 68 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:56,200 what knowledge they had. But then when I was 16, I 69 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,480 started driving myself to church and that at that time we had 70 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,880 moved to Griffin. My parents had divorce and my 71 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:07,960 mom had remarried an alcoholic. And he was very abusive. 72 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,960 You know, he was just, he wasn't a good man at all. 73 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,960 And he went to jail several times. 74 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,160 But my mom always would go back with him and then so we moved to 75 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,480 Griffin and so we were a part of a church or I was a part of a 76 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,480 church called Griffin First Assembly. 77 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:28,360 And so I would drive myself to church at 16/17/18. 78 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,480 Just wanted to be there. I just wanted to be there. 79 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,080 I would get there early to pray, you know, because our student 80 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:36,640 ministry there had like an intercessory prayer. 81 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,040 I'm like, wow, let's get back to those days. 82 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,680 So I would get there early. I would just, I just remember 83 00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:47,800 being 16 years old on my face before the Lord weeping because 84 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,840 he is real and I knew he was real amazing. 85 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,320 You know, nobody was telling me he was real. 86 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,920 I, I felt him. I read his word and I knew that 87 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,040 those were real words. They were not God was not a 88 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,560 character in a book at that time. 89 00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:09,200 He was my father. You know, he was filling a void, 90 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,680 of course, even with my earthly father. 91 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:15,440 So. When I just think of 16, like 5 92 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:19,840 for sure, like just being able to like comprehend like that 93 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,920 calling and that feeling is just so incredible. 94 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:27,400 But then like, I was actually just doing a video for TikTok 95 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:31,160 where I pulled pictures of myself from 16 all the way till 96 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,680 now. And like I was just in a such a 97 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,440 dark place at 16, like already drinking, smoking, lost my 98 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,680 virginity, all this stuff, seeking worldly things. 99 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,720 And just to look at you and just be like, man, how polar 100 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,880 opposites. Like, I wish I would have 101 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,720 answered the call, answered that door. 102 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,200 Like we knew we know that he was there knocking. 103 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,720 And I was just so oblivious. Like OK. 104 00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:01,280 I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's coming. 105 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,800 OK, so let me. Sit down. 106 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:05,400 Yes, I. Was, you know, I really, I just 107 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,560 really wanted to emphasize, I really was sold out to Jess. 108 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:12,840 And so my husband, now we've been married 17 years, but we've 109 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,800 been together since I was 14. Oh, wow. 110 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,000 OK. OK. 111 00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:21,600 So he goes to ministry school at First Assembly. 112 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,800 OK. They had a ministry college. 113 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:28,320 So at this time I would have been, let's see, 17. 114 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,920 Yeah, 17. And he tells me that we had 115 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,960 already been together like four or five years and he says he has 116 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:39,160 to break out with me because they can't have a girlfriend or 117 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,040 a boyfriend at this first year ministry school. 118 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:44,400 And I'm like what? Oh wow. 119 00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,320 And he's like, but I want you to wait for me, but I can't be with 120 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:51,680 you the whole first year. So not only now do I have a my 121 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,600 dad is completely out of my life at this point. 122 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,760 You know, he just has his own demons, right? 123 00:06:56,760 --> 00:07:00,600 And he's in and out of jail. He's he's just living a hard 124 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:04,800 life. And my mom is with an alcoholic 125 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:08,320 who is a raging alcoholic. He doesn't work. 126 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,600 He's constantly bringing stress among the home, very abusive, 127 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,400 very emotionally abusive. And the one solid that I had 128 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,560 relationship that I had in a physical form was Noah. 129 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,760 So now he's telling me I don't, I can't be with you right now. 130 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:28,000 So it was very, very lonely. It was hard, but we made it that 131 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,040 first year. Well, then the second year 132 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,440 rolled around of his ministry school. 133 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:36,560 We're technically can date, but it's more so like, yeah, you are 134 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,000 my girlfriend, but let's not tell anybody. 135 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,760 Let's not show that because I'm in ministry school and he's not 136 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,520 proud of this. He would just die if he knew 137 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:48,800 this. But he will, I guess It's fine. 138 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:54,400 It's her testimony. And so so then I just started 139 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:55,920 getting frustrated. I started getting bitter. 140 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,880 So after he graduates, he was in that college for three years. 141 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,600 So after he graduates, he's thinking that, you know, oh, 142 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,880 we're about to be together. All of this while I was done. 143 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:10,040 Like at that time, I was praying nonstop for my family life to 144 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:12,120 change. I was praying for nowhere to 145 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:14,200 change. I needed to be praying for 146 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,240 myself to change. But you know, we don't do that. 147 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:19,240 We like to pray for everybody. And so, yeah. 148 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:24,040 And so I was so frustrated with God because I'm like, I am so 149 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,840 sick of this. Like I have lived for you for 150 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,560 all of these years. You know, when other people were 151 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:32,679 going out doing stuff and partying, all of this, I didn't, 152 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,840 you know, I was the church girl. I was the one that got there 153 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,200 early to pray. And it felt like the Lord was 154 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:43,799 not answering any of my prayers. And so I said out loud, I will 155 00:08:43,799 --> 00:08:46,240 never forget. I said out loud, I am done with 156 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,320 you Lord, I'm done with you. I'm going to go live this wild 157 00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,960 and out life and maybe I'll come back to you, maybe I won't. 158 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,360 Wow. And looking back, praise God 159 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,200 that He spared my life. Thank you, Laura. 160 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:03,680 But, and I did for four months. When I tell you it was four 161 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,840 months, and that ain't a long time, I get it. 162 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:12,040 But when I say it was 4, I'm telling you what, Like I was 163 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,640 wild and out and I did a lot of bad things. 164 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,640 And the crazy thing was Noah had no idea. 165 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:25,360 I began to live a double life. So I was able to completely fool 166 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:28,520 him. And on Sunday when he would see 167 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:32,840 me, I was totally church girl praying to the Lord that the 168 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:37,200 preacher would say a prayer so I could take a little 2 minute nap 169 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:40,280 because I was so hungover from the night before. 170 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,840 And he never knew about any of it. 171 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,160 And we got married. I know this is wild. 172 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,600 I'm just having to skip around too because there's so many 173 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:55,080 details of it. But we get married in 2008. 174 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,280 OK, our wedding date was 678. How cute is that? 175 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:03,680 OK, so we get married. I had this secret, this big 176 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,800 secret. OK, he's thinking that we're 177 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:10,280 only with each other, have only ever been with each other. 178 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,400 And he knew nothing about my wild now life. 179 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:20,680 So for six years of our marriage, the first six years it 180 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,200 ate me. I know, I know it is. 181 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:27,840 I mean, I would be praying and all I could hear is the Lord say 182 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,600 you need to tell him, you need to tell him. 183 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,600 And I would ignore God. I would turn the music up. 184 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:38,200 I would turn a show on and I would convince myself because we 185 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:41,800 were not married at the time. Why does he need to know this? 186 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:45,120 This is going to devastate him. This is why would he need to 187 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,240 know this information? You know that episode of 188 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:50,400 Friends? OK, I'm I'm not a big friend. 189 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,560 I'm so sorry. OK? 190 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,160 I wish I could go there with you because I do love it. 191 00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,560 Good show relation. But it's not fair, you hear, 192 00:10:58,680 --> 00:10:59,680 girl? More girls. 193 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,160 I love. I love girls. 194 00:11:01,200 --> 00:11:03,560 And this time of the year, too. Absolutely. 195 00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:06,000 We're in fall right now, so I'm Luke's Diner. 196 00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,960 It is here in Warner Robins. Unsure of. 197 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,800 It OK so you feel this calling like you have got like your 198 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,520 God's telling you need to tell them and your. 199 00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,480 Election is what it was, straight conviction. 200 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,600 And I'm like, I'm not doing it. And so for six years we battled 201 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:23,520 this. Well, Noah was travelling, he 202 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:28,880 was leading worship in Maryland at this particular time, after 203 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:33,120 the six years, and it was like 2:00 AM in the morning, I was by 204 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,400 myself. I was pregnant with our first 205 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,640 son, first child, and the Lord woke me dead out of my slate and 206 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,280 said, I mean, how long is this going to go on, Avi? 207 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,520 How long are you going to do this? 208 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:48,160 I'm not trying to do something to you. 209 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,640 I'm trying to do something for you. 210 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:54,440 And I did the most logical thing I knew to do at that moment and 211 00:11:54,440 --> 00:12:00,560 I wrote him an e-mail. Oh my God, I wrote him an e-mail 212 00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:03,480 girl, because let me just explain myself. 213 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,040 Oh, this man is out. First of all, it was in the 214 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,920 middle of the night. OK? 215 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,240 And the first thing my husband does every morning is check his 216 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,760 e-mail. So I knew that if I needed to 217 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,320 get this out and I wasn't going to talk myself out of it, I 218 00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,200 needed to write him an e-mail. So I did. 219 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,120 I started that e-mail and I told him everything. 220 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:30,160 I told him how I had, you know, slept with other men. 221 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,600 And this is so embarrassing. I cannot believe I'm sharing all 222 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:36,440 this but. Do not text me later and say cut 223 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:39,080 it. I'm not because it's not who I 224 00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:41,480 am. But you know, Lord, that was 225 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,160 years and years. I'm 36 now. 226 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:46,000 OK, so you can do the math. But anyways, it was years ago. 227 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:52,400 So I told him everything and then I hit sin and I slept like 228 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,120 a baby that night. You would think I would have had 229 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,960 so much anxiety but I didn't. And if you know me, I'm an 230 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:01,880 anxious person like I will overthink things. 231 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:05,280 I fixate on things. I'm not a move on type person. 232 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,440 Like until we can get some resolve there is no moving on. 233 00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:11,800 So I know that. I know that it was the peace of 234 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:16,120 God and because I was obedient, and it's funny how obedience and 235 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,400 peace go hand in hand inside. They really do. 236 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:23,280 And last night in a small group I lead a group of 11th grade 237 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,720 girls and one of the girls shared some stuff and then we 238 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,280 were talking about just sins and how like we need to confess to 239 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,640 one another. And just. 240 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:35,760 And I told them this literally, I hope y'all are listening 241 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:40,600 because I was like, when you confess to other believers, not, 242 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,080 you know, this and that and the other other believers that are 243 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,600 going to hold you accountable and XY and Z, you are going to 244 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,120 feel so much lighter. You are going to have peace and 245 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:53,560 just, you're not going to be able to understand it, but it's 246 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,520 going to set you free. And they were like, yeah, yeah, 247 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,560 yeah. And I'm just like. 248 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,280 Here we go, here we go, they go hand in hand. 249 00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:03,880 Freedom is coming. So I was like, I went to sleep 250 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:06,560 and then the phone rang the next morning and I'm like, Oh my 251 00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:09,320 gosh, here it is. I have convinced myself he's 252 00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:13,200 going to leave me and that's OK because I was obedient and the 253 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,480 Lord's going to be with me and this new baby. 254 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,520 And I mean crazy. All the crazy started happening 255 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:23,040 and I was like, hello? And he's like hey, babe. 256 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:27,120 And I'm like Oh my gosh, for the love of hey, do not check this 257 00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:30,080 e-mail. And I'm like, hey, he said I got 258 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,440 your e-mail and I'm like, oh, you did OK. 259 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:39,760 And he said, And I am so sorry that I'm not there to hold you 260 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:43,280 right now. What a good man. 261 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,840 Listen to me, I fell in love with him all over again, He 262 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,800 said. I cannot imagine how hard that 263 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,520 has been for you to hold that in for all of those years. 264 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:55,240 And I'm just so sorry that I'm not there with you to reassure 265 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,800 you that I love you and we're going to be OK. 266 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,760 And I mean, he just goes into all of this stuff and it was the 267 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:07,280 very picture of Jesus Christ because I laid out for him all 268 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,680 The Dirty that I could possibly have. 269 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:14,880 And it was a lot. And yet his response was I love 270 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,320 you so much. Wow, I love you so much. 271 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:23,240 And that man came home from that trip and honey, thank that was a 272 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,840 new contractor. We have a marriage contract. 273 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:27,160 That's what we like to say. It's OK. 274 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,640 We can do those things because we under contract. 275 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:33,080 But we had lots of fun when he came home, I can tell you that. 276 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:37,760 I love it so it makes me usually I don't go back because but I 277 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,440 just love conversating with you girls. 278 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:44,880 But OK so my Co host Abby, she says the same exact thing about 279 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,960 her husband now that she had a chapter before him and it was 280 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,160 very heavy and she kept it for a little bit when they first 281 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,080 started dating. Then she just kept feeling like 282 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,040 conviction like tell him, tell him, tell him. 283 00:15:56,400 --> 00:16:00,240 And right when she tell told him he's like that does not change 284 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:03,080 my perception of you like I love you. 285 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:06,200 God is still good, good. He is still going to use this 286 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,200 and like all this and we were talking about this in our life 287 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,200 group the other night. And it's just so like when 288 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:16,320 you're in a equally yoked relationship and that is a godly 289 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:20,280 man that is aligned with Jesus, they're not judging you for 290 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,920 those things. Like they're going to love you 291 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,360 through it. They're going to meet you where 292 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:26,400 you're at and just. Just so true that man for you 293 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,600 it's so true and and it doesn't mean that it wasn't hard for him 294 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,160 like it was very hard for him and we talked through some 295 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,200 things when he got home. But I think, like you said, you 296 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,560 really see just someone who loves the Lord and that does 297 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:45,080 make a big difference. And so we had our baby, you 298 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:48,880 know, and we, we really do have a great marriage. 299 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:51,800 And I know that a lot of people probably say that, but we 300 00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,160 really, really do. And I love that man. 301 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,240 We have a slumber party every single night. 302 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,400 And we have been having one since for 17 years now. 303 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,880 I tell him it's our a slumber party that never ends. 304 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:05,520 But at that time we were in full time ministry. 305 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:10,400 We started traveling a lot. He would lead worship and we 306 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,119 would do these revivals. We started speaking at marriage 307 00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:18,319 events, which is so wild to me. We were only married six years. 308 00:17:18,319 --> 00:17:20,920 Like what? We do not we do not need to be 309 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,240 speaking at. I'm sorry if any church is 310 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,400 watching this that you brought us in. 311 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,760 But nevertheless, I always shared that story. 312 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:33,160 That is what I've always been very adamant about is Lord, I 313 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:37,680 don't know how in the world you use me because I'm just a normal 314 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,080 girl with a normal life trying to survive. 315 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,080 So at the end of the day, what I'm going to give these people 316 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,960 is authenticity. And I would always share that 317 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,800 story when we would go and do marriage events. 318 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:54,240 And it never failed that there would always be confession in 319 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,200 the room that took place. And I know that the Lord used 320 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,960 that story. So we did that for years. 321 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:06,440 We traveled, I wrote two books and we took the kids with us. 322 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,760 We would just load them up. We did some home schooling in 323 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:13,680 hotels. I mean, they saw a lot of the 324 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,280 world and for 12 solid years. That is amazing. 325 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:21,360 I mean, so how do y'all get started with the traveling 326 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:26,040 ministry I guess? Well, for us, Noah was leading 327 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,320 worship at a church called Christ Chapel. 328 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,160 This is in Pike County. It was not what the Christ 329 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,800 Chapel is now, you know, I mean, there was still even in a like 330 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,080 an old gymnasium, I think it was. 331 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:41,120 But nevertheless, he led worship there and that was his first job 332 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:45,600 out of ministry school. And so he knew that music was 333 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,160 going to be what the Lord called, you know, what the Lord 334 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,400 was going to do with his life. And and I was just a very 335 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:55,760 supportive wife and that I knew early on that God called Noah. 336 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,440 We got married young. So that was also a little bit of 337 00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:01,680 it, maybe a little more dumb than, you know, anything else. 338 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:05,320 But we knew that God had had a call in our life and he was 339 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,840 leading worship and he came home from the golf course one day and 340 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,680 we had been praying like Lord, we feel like we're supposed to 341 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:14,080 step out. And by step out that means step 342 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:17,520 out like as in. Step out as in no. 343 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,160 Idea. No idea what's going to happen. 344 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,400 Like are we even going to better afford this? 345 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:29,680 I had AI did hair, so I'm kind of going back and forth, but 346 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,560 they all kind of mingled together. 347 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,200 But I did hair at the time and even that was going to be laying 348 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,720 that down and we're like, we just need a sign. 349 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,720 I kid you not, hand to heaven this happened. 350 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:46,000 So he comes down from the golf course and he said, Ivy, I found 351 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:50,120 a bag of money on the golf course, He said. 352 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,800 I found a bag of money on the golf course. 353 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,480 Now, it wasn't a Crown Royal bag, but. 354 00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,720 It was. This really happened y'all. 355 00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:03,600 So we're like, Oh my goodness, the Lord literally dropped down 356 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,800 money from heaven. It was in a Crown Royal bag. 357 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:10,480 Nevertheless, on the details, he dropped money from heaven and 358 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,160 this was our sign. Now you say what you want, maybe 359 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:16,640 that's not the most spiritual thing that should have happened, 360 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:22,480 that that was our confirmation. But we did and we stepped out 361 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:26,200 and we just started believing that God would make the phone 362 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,280 ring. And it did. 363 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,480 There was churches that would call us all over and whether it 364 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:34,480 be they want to know to lead worship, whether it be they 365 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,840 heard some of his songs on the radio because he was also 366 00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:41,600 producing some albums and stuff. They may have heard his songs on 367 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,240 the radio. We would go to one church and 368 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,960 then the someone from another church would be sitting in the 369 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,680 crowd. So then they would want it at 370 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,760 their church. So it was just kind of like that 371 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:53,960 for 12 years. Just one thing led to another 372 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:58,040 God open door after door. Now had you, because you've 373 00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,720 already said you wrote two books. 374 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:03,680 So were you always like into writing or does this kind of 375 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,640 like come of just like God, you just feel God prompting you to 376 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,000 write or how does that work? Yeah, well, again, not the most 377 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,200 qualified for that. I don't even know where commas 378 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,960 go. So I had just had our first 379 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:21,600 child, Samuel, think he was six. I was sweeping our floor in our 380 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:23,880 kitchen and Joyce Meyer was on the TV. 381 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:27,280 I love me some Joyce Meyer. Okay, don't even listen. 382 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:32,440 I love, love Joyce Meyer. We, you and I, as women in 383 00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:36,760 ministry, need to be so grateful for people like Joyce Meyer 384 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,040 because she we are standing on her shoulders. 385 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:41,720 Anything we will ever do. Nevertheless, squirrels I 386 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,600 chased. Like they say she she walked so 387 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,560 we could run or something. Like that, yes, I'm very 388 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,800 passionate about that. But anyways, so I'm sweeping 389 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,960 floors. She's preaching the gospel and I 390 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,240 hear the Lord say, I want you to write a book and I want you to 391 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:02,760 write that book to the to what you need out of it. 392 00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,360 And I'm like, no, that don't make no kind of sense. 393 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:12,040 Lord, I don't know what I need. And he said, but you know that 394 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:16,400 you need me and you know that your identity has to be found in 395 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,880 me. And there are women that you're 396 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,280 going to come in contact with that they need to know that that 397 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,680 they need to know that they are enough, that they need to know 398 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,520 that they are beautiful. They need to know that they are 399 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,040 strong because the enemy is constantly filling our minds 400 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:38,400 with lie after lie after lie. But what I found as I started 401 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:43,560 rabbit hole in with writing this book with the Shia's book, every 402 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,400 lie that I could come up with there was a truth in God's word. 403 00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:51,680 So that's when she is kind of birth the whole ministry side of 404 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:57,280 that just I felt a call to speak life over women to speak life 405 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,880 over teenage girls that you have a purpose in this world that 406 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,920 your identity is to be found and who Jesus says that you are not 407 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:08,160 who the world says you are not who social media says you should 408 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,080 be, but who does God say that you are. 409 00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:15,480 And so I wrote the first book. Never in a million years did I 410 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,200 even think I could do something like that. 411 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:21,680 I'm like, this is wild. This is wild now, like. 412 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:26,360 And so I developed a message that went along with it and just 413 00:23:26,360 --> 00:23:29,840 started taking it on the road with us anytime. 414 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,800 If even if Noah just LED worship, he would always bring 415 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,920 me up and he would always be in these awkward places, these 416 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,680 small little churches that they do not want to see. 417 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:40,640 No woman up there on the platform. 418 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:45,040 But nevertheless, my precious husband was going to bring me up 419 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,480 there, make me feel a little awkward. 420 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,520 And but every time I would share my heart, the books would sell. 421 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,600 The books would sell and wind up selling thousands. 422 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,680 That was a piece of copies of that book. 423 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:01,920 Wow. And to this day I literally had 424 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,120 a lady last week. And keep in mind I haven't done 425 00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:10,480 any speaking, you know anything like that for probably 2 years. 426 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:14,600 But even last week someone reached out and said, someone 427 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,720 sent me your book and it was at just the right time that I 428 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,640 needed it. The Lord used it in my life and 429 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:23,200 I'm passing it on. And I'm just like, thank you, 430 00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:25,040 Lord. It's moments like that that you 431 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:27,720 know, I'm not crazy. Like the Lord really did speak 432 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:34,840 to me, you know. But anyways, so we I don't know 433 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,200 where I was at but. But y'all do that for 12 years 434 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:42,920 and then what does that look like at the end of that 12 435 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:44,800 years? And when does that next? 436 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,240 Chapter open up yes. So well before we get to that, 437 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,960 let me tell you how we got rude started with adoption. 438 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,680 So we had two boys, so we were traveling full time. 439 00:24:53,680 --> 00:25:00,640 We had two boys, Samuel and Zeke and we felt Zeke was two and we 440 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,640 felt the Lord was calling us to adoption, but we didn't know 441 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,280 what that looked like. Noah was on the phone with 442 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:11,680 somebody and he randomly said to him, have you ever considered 443 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,840 sponsoring a child with whole international? 444 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:19,840 That was the adoption comp or the sponsorship, and you could 445 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:24,880 present these children when you go on, do concerts and stuff, 446 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,680 kind of like compassionate part of this. 447 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,640 So same concept, but it was with Holt. 448 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,400 So Noah, you know, it's like, OK, I'll look into it. 449 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,800 When he comes up and comes upstairs from his office and he 450 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,160 tells me about this and I'm like, Oh my goodness, you'll 451 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,080 never guess. I wrote this in my journal that 452 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:41,560 I felt like we were supposed to adopt. 453 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:46,600 So we started on this journey of what adoption looks like and who 454 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:48,520 should we adopt? Like, Lord, are you wanting us 455 00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:51,440 to do this overseas or you want us to do this, you know, 456 00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:55,360 locally? And one thing led to another, 457 00:25:55,360 --> 00:26:00,760 and we found a little girl in China, and her name was Ruby. 458 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,560 And she was so cute. But Ruby had a lot of health 459 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,960 issues. And in China, especially, if 460 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,720 children have any kind of discrepancy, if you will, 461 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,240 whether that be a Clef lip, whether that be something wrong 462 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,120 with like their brain or special needs of any sort. 463 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,560 Like nobody wants them. They immediately go to the 464 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:25,360 orphanage. And that Ruby when her mother 465 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:29,800 birthed her, she birthed her in a hospital bathroom and they 466 00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,680 found her in the toilet. No, it was a miracle in of 467 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:38,040 itself that she was not dead when they found her because 468 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:41,600 usually they will put babies in the toilet so that they drown 469 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,360 before someone finds them. So they found her and they think 470 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,880 that it was because her head was a lot a little larger. 471 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,560 So the mom probably thought that she had the special like the 472 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,200 looks of her, she looked special needs. 473 00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,800 And so Ruby, all Ruby ever has ever known was the orphanage. 474 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,880 And we how old was she? So when we started the process, 475 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:07,920 she was 2 and we're so excited. And they told us that frontline, 476 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:11,440 this is going to be probably a almost three-year process before 477 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,360 you bring her home. And that's if everything goes 478 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:17,160 well. So sure enough, we were about 479 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,480 that three, a little over three-year mark and we were 480 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,520 everything was a go. All the money, we raised money 481 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,240 all across the US. We had this suitcase that when 482 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,160 people gave to it, they would sign it and we were going to use 483 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,400 that for her clothes and stuff when we went and got her. 484 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:34,720 And it was I mean, she was known all over. 485 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,680 We always shared about Ruby and we had I had all the mom and 486 00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:42,680 daughter matching outfits loved. I was definitely excited about 487 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,240 being a girl mom since I had two boys and her room was ready. 488 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,360 Her name was on the wall. We gave her the middle name 489 00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:52,760 Faith. There was nothing left to do and 490 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:57,480 then COVID hit. We were literally 7 days from 491 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:01,040 getting on a plane to go in and get her COVID hit shuts 492 00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,880 everything down. We never thought it was going to 493 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,800 be what it was. I don't think anybody thought 494 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:11,520 COVID was what it was, you know, and they're like, it's going to 495 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,160 be fine. You're going to still better go 496 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,120 get her. Don't worry. 497 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:18,840 You know, well, a year goes by and they're still saying the 498 00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,480 same thing. It's going to be fine. 499 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,640 Everything's going to be OK. We would FaceTime with her. 500 00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:28,600 You know, we could tell she was starting to get worse because 501 00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,680 being in the orphanage, we have special needs. 502 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:33,200 You don't get to go to all the doctor visits. 503 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:37,640 You know, she had hydrocephalus and although she did have a 504 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,880 shunt, they just want the best case scenario for her. 505 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:44,200 She really needed doctor visit, she needed some physical therapy 506 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:49,920 and all of those things. And then two years go by and 507 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,040 they're like so this small at this time, it would have been a 508 00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:58,200 five year process, OK. And they said at this time, we 509 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:03,240 need to reconsider because her special needs has gotten to the 510 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:08,200 point where your family no longer qualifies to adopt her. 511 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:14,440 And even if you do, we have no idea that China will ever open 512 00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:19,600 back up for adoptions. So the best that we can do is 513 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:24,160 transfer your adoption to Taiwan, where we know they're 514 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:29,360 opened up and all of the fees, everything you paid will 515 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:33,320 transfer over. And it was a hard decision where 516 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,680 it was like, we need to pray about this because to me, it 517 00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:37,120 felt like we were giving up on her. 518 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:43,400 But at the same time they were saying there's no other option. 519 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,960 But in my mind, I'm like, this doesn't make sense. 520 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:51,800 Like every door that we went through with this adoption 521 00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:57,280 process, we did not open ourselves every time we raised 522 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,360 money. I mean, the Lord provided, you 523 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,080 know what I'm saying? Like, you know, there's some 524 00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:05,000 things in your life where you're like, I kicked that door open 525 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,080 and yeah, you didn't happen. I might be standing in it, but 526 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,640 really that was on me. That was my, I did that, you 527 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,560 know, and that's very prideful statement. 528 00:30:13,560 --> 00:30:16,200 But I'm just saying there are things in our life that we do 529 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:19,080 say that this was not one of them. 530 00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,480 There was no way we could have made this happen. 531 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:29,960 And so we agreed transfer to Taiwan and we tried to get a 532 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,400 little girl named Cynthia. Well the judge said no and chose 533 00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:39,160 another family so no. And I both were like, okay, 534 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,880 obviously the Lord is not let me back up. 535 00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:47,040 Also, when that happened with Ruby, we had every news station 536 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,520 possible. We were on the Dana Moreno show, 537 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:54,080 we were on CNN, we were on every new because you know, once you 538 00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,480 get on one, they all start calling you. 539 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:59,880 It ain't because we all that but but but the point of it is every 540 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:04,280 single one we were able to share our story and share the love of 541 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,760 Jesus, every single one. And you just never know. 542 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,200 God's sovereignty keeps me from going insane. 543 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,640 That's the best of any says. And it is so true. 544 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,120 I have no idea. But I do know that we didn't 545 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,320 miss any opportunity to share Jesus. 546 00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:26,080 And so we lost so that so we lost Cynthia because we didn't 547 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,560 even we didn't lose her. We didn't get chosen to have 548 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,560 her. And so we were like, OK, at this 549 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,520 point, it's starting to feel like we're looking for Windows 550 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:38,640 to climb out of instead of just saying, God, you've obviously 551 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:42,480 shut this door. What should we do? 552 00:31:43,800 --> 00:31:47,960 And we were praying that. And we fasted and our agency 553 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,960 called and said, as much as we don't want to say this, we would 554 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:56,920 probably consider you just stepping back because we are 555 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,680 concerned that you're going to continue to go on this. 556 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,640 And they said eventually you'll have a child. 557 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:05,840 Eventually you will. But after so much heartbreak 558 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,400 and. Yeah, and and that for for 559 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,520 someone who really is not even doesn't even profess to be a 560 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,480 Christian, to say that to you, you kind of have to say, OK, 561 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:18,680 maybe we are trying to push a door open here. 562 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,320 But when I tell you, I was so confused. 563 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,960 I was so heartbreak. I'm just now getting to a place 564 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,720 where I can talk about this. I mean, if you would have had to 565 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:30,360 ask me, if you asked me this last year, I would have said 566 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,560 that's off the table. We're not discussing that. 567 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:37,480 We're not talking about that because I was so angry at the 568 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,520 Lord because it doesn't make sense. 569 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:48,120 There was nothing bad about Ruby coming here. 570 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:52,480 Everything about her story, about us getting her would have 571 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:56,920 brought glory to the Lord like it made no sense. 572 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,520 I have no idea and to this day I still don't. 573 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,600 I have no idea why the Lord took us on a five year journey. 574 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:07,120 All. For what you know, but 575 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,040 nevertheless I had to go and take her. 576 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,480 I didn't mess with her room for about 6 months after this 577 00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,800 because remember it was still completely ready crib. 578 00:33:17,040 --> 00:33:19,720 I mean, you're so. Out of bed, I mean, everything. 579 00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:25,160 Our boys, you know, we, we, we made her birthday cakes, you 580 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:26,760 know, we sing her happy birthday. 581 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,840 We had her own FaceTime. I mean, so they were even 582 00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,520 grieving the fact that, hey, we've lost a little sister. 583 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,400 And it's hard to say it like that because you never really 584 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:39,400 had her. But emotionally we did. 585 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:44,840 We did. And so I go in a room and I just 586 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,440 start always, we move at that time and I start taking 587 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:51,240 everything down. And I just was so broken. 588 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:53,400 And I'm like, Lord, I have no clue what you're doing. 589 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,080 I have no clue what you want out of me. 590 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:59,800 Like I feel like I've always surrendered to you. 591 00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,480 But it was, this was a different type of surrender 'cause I think 592 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,120 it's easy to surrender things that we can kind of guess an 593 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:09,400 outcome. Yeah, you know, and that if all 594 00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:13,920 out sells, we can figure it out. But this was different. 595 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,760 And Noah always said that if we were ever supposed to come off 596 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,400 the road from traveling, this was crazy. 597 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:25,639 Nobody knew this hand to heaven. Nobody knew this, but no. 598 00:34:25,639 --> 00:34:29,440 And I, he said Pastor Benny Tate would have to call me and offer 599 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,560 me a job and. He did just that. 600 00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:36,000 I mean, it was wild because he we, that was our church, you 601 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,320 know, and he said if he ever if Pastor Benny ever called and 602 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,159 offered me a job, we would know that was our fleece, you know, 603 00:34:42,159 --> 00:34:44,760 you know, the strict idiot, he. I talk about fleeces all the 604 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,920 time. My 11th grade girls better be 605 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,159 on. Listening. 606 00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:51,280 I believe that they are and and I'm going to stop talking in a 607 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,520 minute because no. You are good, this is your 608 00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,280 episode. OK, I know but it's a lot. 609 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,360 I keep talking. I want to hear from you too. 610 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:04,600 But anyways, so we're I'm in the room crying, he's in the kitchen 611 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,240 and he gets off the phone. He comes in there and he says 612 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:11,240 you will never guess who just called me. 613 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:16,800 Now back up. I also had the while I was 614 00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,920 watching something about being in the kitchen once you know, I 615 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,160 was sweeping then this next time I was washing dishes. 616 00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,320 Maybe I just I don't know, but the Lord spoke to me and said 617 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,240 when the offer comes, say yes. And anytime the Lord speaks to 618 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:30,960 me, I don't try to figure it out like that. 619 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,280 I would just write it in my phone because I know if it's 620 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,000 God, it'll resurface and I'll have proof of it. 621 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:39,560 So I had put that in there a month before. 622 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,720 He said what he's about to say. And he said, you'll never guess 623 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:43,680 who, just call me. I said who? 624 00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,720 And he said Pastor Benny called and offered me a job. 625 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,960 Now, if you know the way our organization works, Pastor Benny 626 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:55,720 is a great leader in the fact that he allows who he who he 627 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:57,960 places in charge to make decisions. 628 00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:02,360 So like, he never calls and offers people jobs. 629 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,520 Yeah. And I'm like, what? 630 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,600 And so immediately I remembered that the Lord said, when the 631 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,800 offer comes, say yes. And I'm like, you got to take 632 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:12,320 this. And he said, Abby, do you 633 00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:15,080 understand what that means? Like our whole life would be 634 00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,720 different. He's like, we have all of these 635 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:22,160 events lined up. Your books are selling more than 636 00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:26,280 they ever have. You have several women's events 637 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:29,120 lined up. Like this would be a detriment 638 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:34,760 to this ministry that we have built, so to speak, which sounds 639 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,480 very prideful, saying that maybe that was the problem and so. 640 00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:43,400 I know what you mean that. And so and I said, well, Noah, 641 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,840 you know, you remember that fleece. 642 00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:46,320 That's why we needed that fleece. 643 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:51,200 So Fast forward, Noah takes the job as the worship pastor of the 644 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:56,440 branch camp as are OK, and I'm thinking, OK, well this will be 645 00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,960 fun. I love, listen, I'm a church 646 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,680 girl through and through. I love the local church. 647 00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:03,880 I love our church. I love your church. 648 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:08,360 I love the local church. I think it is so important to be 649 00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:13,160 plugged into a local church. And so whether I ever got a job 650 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,400 there or not, I'm there like I'm going to be the one that is 651 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:17,800 serving. I'm going to be the one that's 652 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,000 showing up early and staying late because I love the local 653 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,080 church. And so that never really even 654 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,520 crossed my mind that. OK, well, what about me? 655 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,680 It was more like, OK, this dynamic that we have always 656 00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:34,360 done. Our whole marriage was together. 657 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:36,440 Yeah. Well, now we're being ripped 658 00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,080 apart. He was going to go work full 659 00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,400 time. And then I was supposed to, 660 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:44,240 what, continue to travel like without him? 661 00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:48,160 We have these kids now. I'm struggling with the adoption 662 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,440 stuff with Ruby. I don't even know where I'm at 663 00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:52,360 in this world. Like I'm like, I don't know 664 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,320 what's what's going on. And the Lord took me into a 665 00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:01,000 wilderness and for a year the events that were lined up 666 00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:05,320 started canceling 1 by 1, but they paid me. 667 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:10,800 And so they literally would call one by one different states, 668 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:16,560 Tennessee, Alabama, Alabama, several in Georgia called me and 669 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:21,200 said we don't have an event for you anymore because we can't get 670 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,720 these tickets to sell, but we're still going to pay you. 671 00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:26,800 And when we are able to relaunch this, then we want to call you 672 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,760 back. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay. 673 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:32,920 So make sure that checks made out. 674 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:38,520 Exactly and so, but I mean the Lord provide and that so I knew 675 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,160 that it was a wilderness. I knew it was a Sabbath and when 676 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:45,880 I tell you that I would take my kids to school, I would come 677 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:52,720 back and I I read 32 books in like a six month span. 678 00:38:52,720 --> 00:38:54,520 Holy cow. On top of reading. 679 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,640 The Bible? Yeah, that is a lot. 680 00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,680 And I just say that to say like that I had nothing else going 681 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,560 on. Like I was like, this is the 682 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,400 season God has for me. Which is why I think it is very 683 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:10,200 important for us to recognize what the season is like. 684 00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,800 Where are you at right now? What season are you at right 685 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,680 now? Because if you can't recognize 686 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,520 it, how are you going to know how to be fruitful in it? 687 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:20,760 Oh, and someone just asked me the other day, what season are 688 00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:22,040 you in? And I was like, I'm going to 689 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,560 have to take a few days to think about that because like, I 690 00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,800 didn't know how to categorize it. 691 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,040 And now here you are saying you need to recognize what season 692 00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:31,760 you're in. Sure. 693 00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,200 I think it's the real thing. Here we go, here we go. 694 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:39,280 So I was like, OK, this is my season, so it was easy when 695 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,640 people were cancelling on me. But then when people started 696 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:47,760 calling, I did not feel a release to continue to do events 697 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:51,960 and I had to say no thank you and that was hard. 698 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,280 Well, that's what you've always done. 699 00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:55,640 That's what I've always done and. 700 00:39:55,640 --> 00:40:00,080 Now, God's, it's almost like a test, almost, wouldn't you say? 701 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,840 To see if like, you're really willing to lay it down. 702 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:05,800 Absolutely. It was a test. 703 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:07,640 And so we get to the end of the year. 704 00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:09,800 That's what Noah and I agreed on was a year. 705 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:16,080 And if I'm honest, I thought that I was going to be getting a 706 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:19,600 job at the church. I'm like, OK, although this is a 707 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:23,960 transition, the Lord wants me to lay my eyes, sit down, ministry, 708 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:25,920 these books, these women's events. 709 00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:29,360 It's going to be fine. All of it's going to lead to 710 00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,720 being where Noah's at, being at the church, being at the branch 711 00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:37,440 some way, somehow. And that didn't happen. 712 00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:41,000 And we got to a place where we, we've always had two incomes and 713 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:46,720 we, I needed a job and I got a job at the Learning Center at 714 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:51,120 our church. And it was a very, it was very 715 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:55,320 hard for me because you got to remember, you know, and again, 716 00:40:55,320 --> 00:41:02,800 I'm saying this in a very humble way because I was it was a pride 717 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:04,760 thing. The Lord, I think dealt with my 718 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:09,440 pride in this is I am not better to be no daycare teacher. 719 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:14,920 Are you kidding me? Like I have written books, like 720 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,520 people have paid me a lot of money to speak. 721 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,160 Like what? That's terrible to say. 722 00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:22,920 But those are the thoughts. That's what you felt. 723 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,680 Those are the thoughts that went through my head. 724 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,520 OK, I'm in my 30s. It is not the time to start 725 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:31,880 Overlord. If you wanted me to be a 726 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:35,960 teacher, then why don't you say this years ago? 727 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,160 And I could have got my teaching degree and I would have been a 728 00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:42,560 successful teacher. So see it all came back to Ivy 729 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:47,200 and you know what I mean, being somebody, if you will, and 730 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,840 that's just reality. Like that's that's that's where 731 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:54,480 I was and but I said I surrendered it. 732 00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,280 You know, I look back at Jesus life and everything that we ever 733 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:03,640 need to learn. He showed us he exemplified and 734 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,800 when Jesus was about to go to the cross and he's in the 735 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,720 garden, I guess send me pray and you remember the story sweat and 736 00:42:08,720 --> 00:42:12,880 blood like he's stressed. You know, he's not about to go 737 00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,400 be a daycare teacher, but like somewhere it's kind of 738 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:20,840 relatable. OK, so he is so stressed. 739 00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,640 He is not wanting to do this. Well, why do you think you don't 740 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,320 want to do this? Well, because he says it. 741 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:31,360 He says that to God the Father if there be any other way, but 742 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:36,240 then he said the most hell shattering words, not my will, 743 00:42:36,240 --> 00:42:39,120 but your will. And then he stood up and so the 744 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:42,920 Lord brought me to that place of surrender and I and I said that 745 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,760 out loud, not my will, Lord, your will. 746 00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:49,360 I'm going to go be the best daycare teacher that these 747 00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,880 people have ever seen. And I'm going to make this my 748 00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,880 ministry. I'm going to pour into those 3 749 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:58,600 and 4 year olds and I'm going to every mom that comes there, I'm 750 00:42:58,600 --> 00:43:03,800 going to greet her with a smile and yes, you can attitude like 751 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,760 all the things. And I would do that and then I'd 752 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:11,880 get in my car and I'd cry my eyes out because I'm like, how 753 00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:13,080 is this my life? That's. 754 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,120 Hard. It is very hard and it's very 755 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,120 sad to look back that I was even in that mindset, you know, but 756 00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:25,200 that that is reality. And so Fast forward, I'm trying 757 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,120 to hurry. So Fast forward. 758 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:31,040 I do that for a year. OK, I work there. 759 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:35,120 So a year off, year off lately then a year on here. 760 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,440 And that's so that's two years that Noah was the worship pastor 761 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,280 at the branch. Now, mind you, those are a bit, 762 00:43:41,280 --> 00:43:44,160 those were the hardest two years of our entire marriage. 763 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:46,040 So I told you we have a great marriage. 764 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,240 And I mean that like we have a great marriage. 765 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:53,120 We laugh all the time. Like they're up until those two 766 00:43:53,120 --> 00:44:01,200 years, we didn't have a lot of trials, you know, like and those 767 00:44:01,200 --> 00:44:05,120 two years, I'm telling you all of hell jealousy. 768 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,520 I never knew. I mean, I knew it was jealous 769 00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:10,760 person, but I'm talking deep roots of jealousy. 770 00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:15,240 I'm talking now I've got to face him working with other. 771 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,560 I'm going to. I'm going to get in so much 772 00:44:17,560 --> 00:44:20,160 trouble for sharing all this, but I mean, not really you. 773 00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:24,360 Feel like a lot of the jealousy really did just stem from him 774 00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,960 still being in this full time ministry. 775 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:30,280 And now you're at the daycare. And I'm not taking away from 776 00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,120 daycare at all. I'm just saying being in the 777 00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:37,000 road, being in the road, on the road, sharing the gospel, 778 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,680 sharing your story, sharing your testimony, writing books. 779 00:44:39,680 --> 00:44:43,680 Like honestly, I talked about this, but a little bit more 780 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:46,160 recently. Like, do you think that the 781 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,880 altar like this was supposed to be the altar, right? 782 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:52,640 Your your ministry and it kind of became a little bit more of 783 00:44:52,640 --> 00:44:54,440 an idol for you. Yes. 784 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:57,840 And that's kind of where all this maybe had started to stem 785 00:44:57,840 --> 00:45:02,360 from, like the A. 100% that is exactly what it was. 786 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:06,640 And you worded that perfectly. That is exactly what it was. 787 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,440 So yeah, it was jealousy. It was bitterness. 788 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:14,440 He would go do these writing sessions with the worship team 789 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:18,080 and, and what's so wild is his boss, so to speak. 790 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:23,800 What is Amber was Amber and she's my best friend and even 791 00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,760 our relationship was so strained. 792 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,160 I will never forget sitting across from her at the Waffle 793 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:32,800 House and I'm like I'm this is not going to work Like I'm we're 794 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:35,160 not. I mean because y'all don't need 795 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:38,040 to be alone with each other and all this and our and she had to 796 00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,840 be looking at me like you are the most immature person I've 797 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:45,040 ever seen in my life because looking back I'm like it was 798 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,120 ignorant but that is what it was. 799 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:53,080 You're just in that that mindset where anything and everything 800 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:54,960 had you on edge. Yes, yeah. 801 00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,200 And my poor family. Thank you for sticking it out. 802 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:04,000 And so we get through that. And then so a year has passed 803 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:09,560 and of working at the daycare and pastor being calls for Noah 804 00:46:09,560 --> 00:46:12,600 not to meet him for dinner and we did. 805 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:17,480 And he offers us a position being the offers no other 806 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,200 position being campus pastor at the making campus. 807 00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:24,400 We had some conflict that went down and at our making campus 808 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:28,800 and so they were without a campus pastor and we're like 809 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,640 what? Like this brought brought us out 810 00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:36,160 of nowhere and Pastor Benny said, no Noah, I don't think you 811 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,040 can do this without Ivy. And it wasn't like a Oh no one 812 00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:41,920 needs Ivy type thing. It was that like, Hey, y'all got 813 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:46,680 to do this together. Does Pastor Benny kind of know 814 00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:51,280 about the season that y'all are in or like with you personally, 815 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,640 like have you been talking to anybody about this or like, 816 00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:56,440 you're kind of like letting it fester? 817 00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:00,520 I did talk to I have account JB, I love JB. 818 00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:02,880 I love JB. Hashtag Chambers. 819 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,000 Not really, but she did. She's she's great porn. 820 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:13,680 Truth, yes, but I was talking to people like her things that 821 00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:18,040 needed to be talking about with my pastor and even Miss Barbara. 822 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:25,040 I was trying to navigate how to be a supportive wife when from 823 00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:30,160 home and even Miss Barbara Tate One time she I was sharing with 824 00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,200 her my struggles and she said what sounds to me what you're 825 00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:36,880 heart having a hard time with is you don't trust God. 826 00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:39,880 And I'm like, are you? Is she kidding me right now? 827 00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,440 And she said trust in God. When you don't understand, when 828 00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:48,240 you don't know how it's going to play out, that is trust. 829 00:47:48,360 --> 00:47:51,920 Childlike faith. Yes and she was so right and so 830 00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,880 so no, Yes and no. Like we are very close with 831 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:59,840 them. But at the same time, I knew 832 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:03,160 that this journey was needed to be between me and the Lord 833 00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:08,640 because if it if I brought more people in on it, it was going to 834 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:11,280 just get masked. Yeah, masked. 835 00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,480 Do you know what I mean? Like I needed, there's some 836 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:16,560 journeys you need to walk with the Lord, you and the Lord. 837 00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:19,840 And then when you come out of it, then you bring people in 838 00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:22,320 some not saying that all the time. 839 00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:25,520 For me, that's what it was. And so he did. 840 00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:29,200 He, he said, in which I have always known Pastor, Pastor 841 00:48:29,200 --> 00:48:31,600 Manny has always been very clear about believing in me. 842 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:37,360 He has sent me cards after card. He has told me show me he I knew 843 00:48:37,360 --> 00:48:41,720 he believed in me. So to hear him say y'all need to 844 00:48:41,720 --> 00:48:47,000 do this together, I knew the severity of that and he didn't 845 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:48,640 know. I worked at the Learning Center 846 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,800 and said. That notice was turned in that 847 00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,840 day. Now, let me just be clear, I did 848 00:48:53,840 --> 00:48:56,520 work, OK? I did work my notice out 849 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,440 because, you know, I'm going to leave my hand dry. 850 00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:04,120 But I did let them know ASAP. And so I let my parents know and 851 00:49:04,120 --> 00:49:08,080 all of that, and I let my little partner know that I worked with. 852 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:14,240 And yeah, so we get to the Macon campus now we're both on staff. 853 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:20,880 I'm living my dream and I'm I'm still learning to navigate 854 00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,120 though like, hey, this is no longer speaker Ivy. 855 00:49:24,120 --> 00:49:29,240 This is no longer author Ivy. Now this is pastoral Ivy. 856 00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:34,680 Now this is pastor wife Ivy. Now this is, you know, teammate 857 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,760 Ivy. Like now I'm on a team and it's 858 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:44,880 no longer about my ministry. And so I have no doubts that had 859 00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:49,400 the Lord not taken me through that season of literally ripping 860 00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:55,920 everything that I held so close and so dear away from me, I have 861 00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:01,000 no doubts that I'd be struggling so hard right now because the 862 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:02,320 Lord already did it. Yeah. 863 00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,520 He had to remove those distractions. 864 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:09,040 Yes. And so we get to the campus on 865 00:50:09,040 --> 00:50:14,120 Zebulon Road and a lot of hurt that we showed up here. 866 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:18,480 We are first time campus pastors were young and we come into a 867 00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:23,680 primarily older crowd and they are hurt. 868 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:27,720 They are very hurt from things that went down and we just 869 00:50:27,720 --> 00:50:29,880 began. Pastor Benny said you just love 870 00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:31,520 on the people. Love on the people. 871 00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:34,240 That's what he always tells us to do all the time, just love on 872 00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,720 people and. Well y'alls mission statement is 873 00:50:37,720 --> 00:50:40,160 like love. Heaven, bigger back. 874 00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:41,720 Caring better. Yeah. 875 00:50:41,720 --> 00:50:43,600 Just care about people, care about them. 876 00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,160 You get in there, don't try to figure it out. 877 00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:48,280 Don't try to, you know, do all these things you just love on 878 00:50:48,280 --> 00:50:50,800 them. And sure enough, that's that 879 00:50:51,360 --> 00:50:55,120 helped break down the barrier between us and them. 880 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:59,840 And the making campus has the most loving people I've ever 881 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,600 seen in my whole life. And, you know, but it was 882 00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,320 different because you've immediately become inside of a 883 00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:09,040 fishbowl. You know, everybody's looking 884 00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:10,920 like, OK, well, what are you going to do about this? 885 00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:12,000 What are you going to do about that? 886 00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:16,160 And and so I just began to just continue to love on the people 887 00:51:16,160 --> 00:51:20,480 and continue to serve the Lord and do all as I did as unto the 888 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:24,600 Lord. And but also never ever forget 889 00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,200 the miracle that it took to get me to that place. 890 00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:31,480 And ma'am, and so we are there a year, literally a year to the 891 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,720 day we were outgrowing the building. 892 00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:39,720 We were about 500 people at that time, which was a miracle from 893 00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:43,080 heaven. And we knew that we need another 894 00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:47,760 building it we were renting that building from the rescue mission 895 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,560 and it was great. Everything, the relationship was 896 00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:52,480 good. There was nothing bad. 897 00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,520 We just knew it was time. And so we began to pray. 898 00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,120 We began to fast, like where we need a miracle. 899 00:51:57,120 --> 00:52:00,200 Pastor Benny was praying. He was fast and hey, we need a 900 00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:04,840 miracle and then some. A church called Turning Point. 901 00:52:06,040 --> 00:52:09,360 They approached Pastor Benny about merging the campus 902 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:16,480 together and in a nutshell, was giving us this massive building 903 00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,480 on Bass Rd. And if you know anything about 904 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:22,400 Macon, GA, Bass Rd. is where you want to be. 905 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:28,280 It's where you want to be. And I mean, it is amazing it, I 906 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,360 mean, we, we go over there, we merge together. 907 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,920 And I'm thinking, OK, this, everybody's going to be so 908 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:38,800 excited. But the people that were left 909 00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:43,840 from Turning Point, that was not exciting for them, you know, I 910 00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,000 mean, I think that it is important again, to acknowledge 911 00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:50,760 where people are at. Like when I were at the Learning 912 00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:54,480 Center, yes, I had a smile on my face and I was being the best I 913 00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:59,200 could be, but that was hard. And so I remembered that pain 914 00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:03,160 when I got to Bass Rd. And wouldn't you know what's on 915 00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:06,080 Bass Rd. inside this church? What? 916 00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,800 What? What a Learning Center 0. 917 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:10,880 Girl, I didn't know that. Oh my gosh. 918 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:14,960 A Learning Center. A thriving Learning Center at 919 00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:19,320 That's amazing. And so immediately I'm walking 920 00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,600 through there, I'm crying because and it's not because I'm 921 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,120 doing something that this Learning Center or I'm about to 922 00:53:25,120 --> 00:53:27,560 bring all this change or oh, Ivy's here. 923 00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:33,560 No, it's like I now have ladies to love on because I know what 924 00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:38,360 they are going through, know how hard they're working. 925 00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,560 I know how unthinked they probably are. 926 00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:45,680 Like I know all that and I'm going to make it my best effort 927 00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:48,480 to love on them. Women at that Learning Center is 928 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:53,120 it was just a lot of those moments like Lord you every step 929 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:57,520 every heart is a preparation for what God is bringing you to 930 00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:03,240 everyone That's good you know and so yeah we're on Bass Rd. 931 00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:07,680 And we're about to celebrate a year of the merger, 2 years of 932 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:11,720 us being campus pastors as a whole, and we have about 800 933 00:54:11,720 --> 00:54:14,320 people that show up every Sunday. 934 00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:18,800 And we're just over here like God, you did a miracle that is. 935 00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,920 Amazing. I mean, just to see how all of 936 00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:25,760 it's panned out, like how God has like had a calling, had a 937 00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:28,360 purpose for all of this pain, all of this heartbreak. 938 00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,400 Like even when we don't see it, you know, like we're like, why 939 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:34,440 are we here? And now just being able to go 940 00:54:34,440 --> 00:54:36,000 back to the Learning Center thing. 941 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,280 So true. And just being able to love all 942 00:54:38,280 --> 00:54:40,840 those women and just be relatable. 943 00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,280 That's like literally what this whole podcast is built on is 944 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:48,240 just real raw and relatable women just trying to pour love 945 00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:51,360 and pour truth and other women. And you're the epitome of that, 946 00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,760 saying like, you went through this, you walked it, and now 947 00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,360 you're trying to pour it into other women. 948 00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:58,840 It's so true. And you know, some things that 949 00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,960 people either like about me or they don't like this about me, I 950 00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:05,040 get both is I am going to be honest. 951 00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:08,280 I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be raw honest, 952 00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:13,280 because we who are we to act like we have it all together? 953 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:17,320 We are all people who are just struggling to do our best. 954 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:21,400 And but but we're also all people who have an opportunity 955 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:23,960 to have a real relationship with a real God. 956 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:28,360 And so I think that that authenticity is so important. 957 00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:31,920 It is. Well as we begin to close, OK, I 958 00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,560 give you 3 options of how you want to close this. 959 00:55:34,760 --> 00:55:39,360 One, you could say something about maybe you were on the way 960 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,520 here and you were like, I want to talk about this specific 961 00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:44,880 thing and I haven't gave you the chance to do so. 962 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:49,440 OK, 12A piece of advice or three. 963 00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,360 What has God revealed to you more recently? 964 00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:53,920 How would you like to close it out today? 965 00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:57,200 Oh my goodness, that's a lot of options. 966 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:03,200 I love it. Well, I will say that one piece 967 00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:07,160 of advice that I would have is keep opening your Bible. 968 00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:09,240 That's good. And I know that sounds so 969 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:14,080 Christianese, but like I think it is so important for us to 970 00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,400 completely fall in love with our Bible even. 971 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,280 OK, I'm on the way here. I had to make a detour because 972 00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:24,760 my Bible was at in my office from yesterday and I needed it 973 00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:28,040 with me and sometimes just sit being here. 974 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:31,000 It's not an idolatry thing, but I mean because it's the word of 975 00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:34,080 God. But it it is real. 976 00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:40,560 The Bible is real and it is alive, and so many times I don't 977 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:43,520 even open it. So many times I don't even see 978 00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:47,560 what it's what it's got to say about every situation in my 979 00:56:47,560 --> 00:56:50,280 life. And so that piece of advice I 980 00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,920 would have is fall in love with reading the. 981 00:56:52,920 --> 00:56:54,640 Bible. That's good. 982 00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,440 Fall in love with God's word when you're having a hard time 983 00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:01,240 sleeping. Hold it sometimes just being 984 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:04,000 with it. You know, people probably think 985 00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:06,400 I'm the craziest person I've ever heard. 986 00:57:06,600 --> 00:57:09,800 But The thing is, is like, at the end of the day, it sounds 987 00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:14,080 like, you know, Christianese or it does whatever, but it's such 988 00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:17,320 a simple thing that we take for granted or we think that is just 989 00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:20,600 so like, ah, you know what it no, it's the word of God that's 990 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:24,600 living and it's an instruction manual to life for sure. 991 00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:28,320 I would be not be just doing the simple thing of opening it and 992 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:30,400 getting into God's Word, you know? 993 00:57:30,440 --> 00:57:32,920 Just so true. And I mean, I talk about this a 994 00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:37,920 good bit, but like the days that you don't want to, the days that 995 00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:41,120 you don't want to open, it is probably the day that God will 996 00:57:41,120 --> 00:57:43,760 speak the most. Like just open it up and get 997 00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:45,680 into God's word. It's so true. 998 00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:48,560 This has been so good girl. You're doing a great job. 999 00:57:48,640 --> 00:57:50,720 I'm so proud of you. Thank you. 1000 00:57:50,880 --> 00:57:52,640 Keep doing it. Thank you. 1001 00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:54,520 Awesome. I appreciate that so much. 1002 00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:58,680 Well guys, I hope you enjoyed this as much as we did. 1003 00:57:58,680 --> 00:58:00,720 This has been absolutely incredible. 1004 00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,440 Stay tuned, stay blessed, and we'll see you guys later. 1005 00:58:03,920 --> 00:58:04,320 Bye.