1 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:06,640 What's up guys? My name is Alexis Brown, your 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,760 host with praises in the pod and I'm so. 3 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:12,720 Excited to have one of my best. Friends here, Logan Walls, she 4 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,280 is going to be sharing her testimony. 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,360 With us today. And we are just so excited to 6 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,600 have her. So let's start off in prayer and 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:24,040 then we'll jump right in. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 8 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:25,560 for today. Thank you for all your many 9 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,240 blessings. Dear God, thank you for giving 10 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,240 us the space where we can come together and just talk about you 11 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:33,000 and talk about all the things that we've overcome because of 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,040 you. Lord, we just pray that this 13 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,920 just glorifies you. We pray that you speak to us and 14 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,000 through us. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 15 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,000 All right, so earlier last week I sent you, you know, some 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,200 questions or whatever just so you could try to prep. 17 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,040 And so one of the first questions I sent was, you know, 18 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,400 tell me a little bit about yourself and your background and 19 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:52,920 stuff. So let's start there. 20 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,040 OK so I grew up in a in a broken hole. 21 00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,600 My mom and dad divorced when I was really young maybe like 3 22 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,960 months old. My parents both got mixed up in 23 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:06,240 drugs so I live with my grandparents for a little while 24 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,600 and spend a lot of time with them. 25 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,160 My mom didn't stay mixed in with drugs for a long time. 26 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,040 So when she recovered, I went back to live with her. 27 00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,040 But we bounced around a lot. We we moved houses a lot. 28 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,280 And as far as my dad, he was mixed in with drugs until I was 29 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:22,080 like 18. And so when I was like 18, he 30 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,520 finally got sober and started growing a lot in his faith. 31 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,280 Did y'all have like a relationship at all in those 32 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,440 eighteen years or like you didn't know him at all? 33 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:33,800 I mean, I guess we kind of had a relationship. 34 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,080 Like I would go to his house and my step mom's house and like 35 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,600 spend the night or spend the weekend or something, but it was 36 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,200 just uncomfortable. It was like, I don't know this 37 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,080 man like. It was just surface level. 38 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,400 Yeah, it was just like, I'm just going because I feel kind of 39 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:49,240 obligated to go. I don't really, like have a 40 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,560 relationship with him. But so after he got sober, I 41 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,040 mean, he had been in and out of like so many different rehabs. 42 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,080 Like, I know he's gone. He went to the Potter's house 43 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:02,600 and all kind of different rehabs in anyways, once he did finally 44 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,640 get sober, he started growing a lot in his faith. 45 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:07,400 Like he started going to church, he started serving at church, 46 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,080 started praying and then he started inviting and like urging 47 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,280 me to do the same. And so I would go to church with 48 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,680 him occasionally. I would go occasionally with my 49 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:18,880 granny when I was a child, but never consistently. 50 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:22,440 And I just, I didn't grow up in a, in a house where my faith was 51 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,000 something that was prioritized or something that was important. 52 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:29,800 I think I like am that is so similar to my childhood, like 53 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,600 both my parents, they were mixed up in drugs my whole life. 54 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:35,920 My dad still struggles and but my mom, she's she's free. 55 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,280 Like she, her chains have been broken and I'm so grateful for 56 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,240 that. But you know, like I live with 57 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:43,320 my grandma too. I would go to church here and 58 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,960 there. So it just feels like we have so 59 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:47,720 much in common and you know, like most of the time we don't 60 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,400 talk about our past or anything like even though we're best 61 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,040 friends, like we're all he's in a group and it's like we're 62 00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,720 talking about deep things, but it's never really like where we 63 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:58,400 came from. So it's just like so awesome, 64 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,760 you know, like when we do see those parallels where we are on 65 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,600 the exact same, you know, so and. 66 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:07,600 Like I, I feel bad even like talking about my mom, especially 67 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,680 like with her, you know, being mixed in with drugs and stuff 68 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,080 because it was so short lived like, and, and she's been, she's 69 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,480 been like those chains have been broken for her for years and 70 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:20,400 years and years. I feel bad even talking about it 71 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,240 because she's been recovered for so long. 72 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,080 But I mean, that did play a part in my childhood and how I grew 73 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,600 up and having to live with my grandparents and all that stuff. 74 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,000 So I mean, I think it's. Worth mentioning it's y'all's 75 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:37,360 story but it played a part in mine so I can't I don't want to 76 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,720 leave out things like I want to be authentic and I want to be 77 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,600 transparent and show really like how God has worked and. 78 00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:47,520 Your childhood is, like, so important, like, it really, 79 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,680 like, builds the foundation of your life. 80 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,160 And it's just, I feel like that's just stuff you can't 81 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:53,680 leave out. Yeah. 82 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:59,000 Exactly, exactly what are some of the things that you struggled 83 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,080 with prior to encountering God for the first time and really 84 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,240 surrendering? Like what did your life look 85 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,480 like? BC as I would usually say. 86 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,520 I feel like I did some crazy stuff before we got saved. 87 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,160 I mean, I smoked weed, I drank a lot of alcohol, I partied a lot, 88 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:18,760 you know, looked for a validation from God since I 89 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,200 never had a great relationship with my dad growing up. 90 00:04:21,839 --> 00:04:24,080 You know, after my dad got saved and started inviting me to 91 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,880 church, something started to change in me. 92 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,600 You know, I didn't want to drink and get drunk anymore. 93 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:31,840 I didn't want to have a sinful relationship with a guy. 94 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:36,920 I wanted to do better. But you know, before I got saved 95 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,560 and everything, I was in a really toxic relationship with a 96 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,000 guy. And it wasn't just a guy's 97 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,520 fault. I was just as toxic and we were 98 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,840 just not good for each other. My dad would like beg us to come 99 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,680 to church with him. And so, you know, we would 100 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:51,400 occasionally, but we were just going to make him happy and to 101 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:52,880 stop asking us. Yeah. 102 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,280 But I feel like that's really where the seed was planted in me 103 00:04:56,280 --> 00:05:00,120 because he was so strong in his face at that point. 104 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:03,800 And he was the only one, like, inviting me to church and, you 105 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:06,120 know, really like, putting the pressure on me to come. 106 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:10,080 Yeah. And so and this guy broke up and 107 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,200 at some point, you know, I just spiraled. 108 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:14,280 It's like a breakup will do that to you. 109 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,160 Yeah. It's like, I mean, I mean, worse 110 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,560 than ever. I was like, I was drinking. 111 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,680 I was, I was partying every night. 112 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,360 I was like looking for all these different guys. 113 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,120 You know, I'd moved out on my own and, and, you know, I didn't 114 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:32,120 have any like accountability from my grandparents or my mom 115 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:34,320 or anybody. I, I moved out on my own. 116 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,640 I was just doing my own thing. I was just going out. 117 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,200 I was on all these apps Like what? 118 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:43,120 How old were you when you first moved out 20? 119 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,360 Two, I think it was like right before I graduated to college. 120 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,360 I was living with my grandparents at the time. 121 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:51,880 It's like, Dang, I can't party and stuff if I'm living with my 122 00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:53,760 grandparents. Like, I can't have people over 123 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,320 there. I can't, like, be having all 124 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,280 these drinks. Like, I got to get out here so I 125 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,440 can, like, live it up. Yeah. 126 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,600 And I really regret that because, you know, now my 127 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,920 grandparents aren't, you know, my grandma has passed away and 128 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,240 my grandpa's in a nursing home. And I do really regret, like, 129 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,840 moving out because I wish I would have had that time with 130 00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:11,360 them. Yeah. 131 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:16,240 But anyways, when you when you know, my priorities were not in 132 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:19,080 order at that point, I was like, I just want to do what I think 133 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,600 is going to make me so happy, which is partying and drinking 134 00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,880 and, you know, just going out and doing all this stuff. 135 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:30,200 Yeah, I literally lived at home all the way until I moved in 136 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,800 with my husband. And so, like, I would always 137 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:36,280 lie. Like, I remember just telling my 138 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:39,400 dad these constant lies, like, oh, I'm at a friend's house and 139 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,440 all this, and I'm just out just sinning, doing everything he 140 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:46,040 told me I cannot do. And, you know, like, I'm so glad 141 00:06:46,040 --> 00:06:48,360 that I did. Like, even though I was lying, 142 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,600 like having that accountability, it kind of reeled me in just 143 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:54,280 enough, you know? So I know, girl, like, I 144 00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:57,640 couldn't imagine moving, living out at like a young age and just 145 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,880 being like, I can do whatever I want. 146 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,160 Like, yeah, so. And it was like, I mean, not 147 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,760 that like I had a roommate at the time, you know, we moved in 148 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:09,400 together and she had moved from her college to to Warner Robins. 149 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,960 And not that it's her fault, but she also liked to party. 150 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,280 And so that we just kind of fed into each other. 151 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,920 You know, like, she went out, I would go out with her. 152 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,200 She would have people over. We would party together. 153 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:23,600 And so it was just a, you know, we were both feeding into each. 154 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:28,040 Other Yeah. So you're partying, You're going 155 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,720 through a breakup, you are spiraling. 156 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:35,600 That point like when, when I'm in this like mindset of like 157 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,280 just partying and everything, it's just like you wake up every 158 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:42,440 day and you're like, I need to find some kind of purpose in 159 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,320 this day. And so your purpose is just to 160 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,760 go get drunk. It's just a, it's just a like 161 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,040 revolving door. You just keep doing it over and 162 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,040 over and over again. Well, because you don't know 163 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,720 what else to do exactly. You know, like you, you don't 164 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,000 feel like you have a purpose. So you're like, well, what can 165 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,520 I, what can I go do today? You know, like, that was one of 166 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:02,080 the things that like towards the very end, it was a constant 167 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,960 cycle, a constant revolving door. 168 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,400 I would get drunk the next morning, I wake up, I don't feel 169 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,320 good. And you know, like I'm hungover, 170 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,920 I'm eating all day. Like I gained so much weight 171 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:17,120 that last year of me being out there and just, I would eat all 172 00:08:17,120 --> 00:08:18,840 day, sleep all day. And then what? 173 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:22,920 Drink some more, you know, So it just was so hard, like, and then 174 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,240 finally, like when I fell and, you know, God got my attention 175 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,960 and stuff. I'm like, there is so much more 176 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,040 than this life. Like just being drunk. 177 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,360 I don't even remember, you know, my early 20s because I was 178 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,679 constantly doing stuff and constantly drunk. 179 00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:38,799 I don't even have memories. Like, people will bring stuff up 180 00:08:38,799 --> 00:08:42,960 and I'm like, yeah, you know, like we went where? 181 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,680 And I, like, I don't even remember. 182 00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:47,680 And that's so sad to me because now I'm like, I have all these 183 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,520 memories. I have all these experiences. 184 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,440 And like, I wish I could have told my younger self, you know, 185 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:57,680 girl, go to church. Well, to me, it's like whenever 186 00:08:57,680 --> 00:09:01,600 I was drinking and stuff, it was like I even when I was like in 187 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:05,600 my childhood, like I never saw any families or any groups of 188 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,480 people that were Christians that were having fun. 189 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,920 So in my mind, I was like, you can't have fun unless you're 190 00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,400 like drinking and stuff. And so that was kind of my 191 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,400 mindset. I'm like, Christians don't have 192 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:17,840 fun. That's exactly my mindset. 193 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,320 Like because I didn't know anybody really either. 194 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,680 That was like a family that, you know, was just always involved 195 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,480 in the church, serving, doing things. 196 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:29,520 Like, I mean, I just thought it was lame. 197 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:33,280 I'm going to be quite honest. Like, I was like, I got all 198 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,960 these rules you got to follow. I actually posted a TikTok about 199 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:39,280 this yesterday. I posted a TikTok and I said, 200 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:43,080 you know, like people think that Christians have all these rules, 201 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,440 but in my eyes, I've never been more free. 202 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,320 But you have to get over that like. 203 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,600 Mindset. Because I mean, when you're when 204 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,840 you are like down by those chains of alcohol and stuff, you 205 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,600 just can't see anything passive. You're finally free. 206 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,400 You're like, man, I am having a good time and I feel good. 207 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:02,000 Like I don't have to have this. To have a good time. 208 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,480 And I think that is one thing because we're blinded. 209 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,040 We don't see how we could ever come out of those circumstances 210 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:10,520 that we're in. The chains is gone, honey. 211 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,040 Like he can make anything happen. 212 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:16,720 So, So was there like a moment that like really grabbed your 213 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:20,080 attention, a message like a series of events where you were 214 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,080 like, this just isn't it anymore? 215 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,160 Like I'm ready. I'm ready to really surrender. 216 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,840 Yeah, so I think my surrender moment was one night my roommate 217 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,600 and I had a party at our apartment. 218 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,320 My younger brother was there and he was like probably 16 or 17 at 219 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:37,560 this point. So of course we had like 220 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,440 alcohol. Some of the people there were 221 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,840 were like smoking weed and just bad stuff that like he shouldn't 222 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,200 have been around. Like he's 1617 years old. 223 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,600 Like why am I putting him there? So anyways, my mom ended up 224 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,200 finding out what happened that night. 225 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,920 You know what all we had there and she just ripped into me 226 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,560 about putting my brother in that situation and I just broke down. 227 00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:01,880 I was like, I was like, man, I really am like a terrible 228 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:03,520 person. Like I'm putting my young 229 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,520 brother in this situation. Like not that he was doing any 230 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:08,800 of that stuff. He wasn't drinking or smoking 231 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,080 weed or anything, but like I'm putting him in that situation. 232 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,920 Like I'm exposing him to that stuff. 233 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:16,240 And that's like opening a door in his life for him to be, you 234 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,200 know, for him to drink and for him to smoke and all that kind 235 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,640 of stuff. So anyway, I just broke down, 236 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,680 broke down. I just knew I was in such a bad 237 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,520 place and I needed to stop before I hurt myself or got 238 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,320 myself into trouble. So I started going to church 239 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:32,640 literally the next day. He said I this is it, honey, I'm 240 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,880 going to. Church, I was like, I got to do 241 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,000 something. And so I had gone to Southside 242 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,440 before when I was like really young and I knew they had like 243 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,080 the smaller location, Pleasant Hill. 244 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,200 And so I started going to Pleasant Hill and I was like, I 245 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,280 have to change. Like it's not an option. 246 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,360 Of course I didn't change, you know, overnight. 247 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:52,360 I still drank here and there, partied here and there, but I 248 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,680 didn't feel good about it. So a few weeks later, my dad 249 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,120 passed away unexpectedly. And I was devastated because we 250 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,600 just started to develop a good relationship. 251 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,400 So after that happened, I was, I was really broken more than 252 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,560 ever. I was, I was at church that next 253 00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,280 Sunday and Jay Ray asked, you know, is there anyone that 254 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,440 doesn't have a relationship with God and wants 1. 255 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,360 So I raised my hand. I didn't know what to do or how 256 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,040 to go about being a Christian, but I, I knew I wanted to try 257 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:23,880 and that I needed to try. So I think that was October of 258 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,360 2020. And so after that moment, I cut 259 00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:28,640 off everything. I stopped drinking, stopped 260 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,880 hanging out with my quote UN quote friends, stopped partying, 261 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:36,200 deleted all my dating apps, everything I was, I was so happy 262 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,680 for this life change, but also I was really lonely. 263 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:42,040 I, I didn't have any friends and like we were saying earlier, I 264 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,120 didn't know what my purpose was. Like it is really lonely when 265 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,120 you cut all of that stuff off because you have to like start 266 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,960 over. You don't want to hang out with 267 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,160 the same people. You don't want to be with the 268 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:54,040 same people that are drinking and stuff. 269 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:58,360 And you know, on one side, like you feel so good, you feel so 270 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,200 happy because you do feel free, but it's also like you're very 271 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,360 lonely because you don't have any of those people anymore. 272 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:08,280 Yeah, and you know, like that was that's one of the biggest 273 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,440 things with like sisters of faith is this transition period 274 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,040 because we want to make this decision. 275 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,920 We we encounter God, we see what all he can do. 276 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:21,240 He's broke our chains. But then it's like, well, how do 277 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,520 I live? You know, this is, this is how 278 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,920 I've been my whole entire life. This is all I've ever known. 279 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:31,080 So how do I change my lifestyle? How do I change this stuff? 280 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,200 And so, you know, right when you do, you know, surrender and 281 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:37,240 start following God, It's just so important to get plugged in 282 00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:40,080 people, you know, think like, oh, it's for numbers. 283 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,280 Like they just want us to come. They want to get their numbers 284 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,720 up. No, like God calls us to be a 285 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,440 part of a community like iron sharpens iron and we need people 286 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,760 around us. You know the. 287 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:53,280 Most important thing for me after I got saved was finding 288 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,360 that community because it's like you cannot do it on your own. 289 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:59,120 Shout out to Kayla Hill because she was the first friend I ever 290 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:03,040 made at Southside and she just like really just took me in. 291 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:05,440 I hung out with her so much. She really helped me grow in my 292 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:06,800 faith. Her and Daniel both. 293 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,440 And they just, they really helped me to just find a purpose 294 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,400 and, and realize that I could have fun without drinking 295 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,280 alcohol because they would have like game nights and like people 296 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,680 come over to their apartments and they would invite me and I'm 297 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:23,320 like, wow, like you guys really do have fun without drinking and 298 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,680 stuff. So they were, they played a huge 299 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,880 part in, in my salvation, in my like, you know, thereafter my 300 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,080 salvation and like building that community and stuff. 301 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,080 And another thing that you said about, you know, being at church 302 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:38,960 that Sunday and Pastor Jay Ray or Josh, he, you know, gave an 303 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,240 altar call basically like, Are you ready to surrender? 304 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,440 Are you ready to, you know, ask Jesus to be your Lord and 305 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,640 Savior? You know, that is just so big 306 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,840 that you raise your hand because, you know, I feel like 307 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:50,680 sometimes people are like they feel God knocking. 308 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,200 They feel like God's speaking to them in that moment. 309 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,720 And some people, you know, just don't have the confidence to 310 00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,720 raise their hand or they're like, what's going to happen 311 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,080 once I raise my hand, you know, And so just giving, you know, 312 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:05,120 like saying here I am God, like I'm ready to really make a 313 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,800 change. Like that is just so big and 314 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,440 just so bold of you. Honestly, like I commend people 315 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,600 like that. Like I, I know I raised my hand 316 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,880 when I was a kid, but like, you know, as a kid, we do have that 317 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,920 childlike faith. We do like, we're like, yes, me, 318 00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,480 me, you know, I want to come down. 319 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,360 But like as an adult to do that, Like I every week, I like 320 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,960 Celebrate Recovery and everything. 321 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,160 Like when I see people do that, I'm like, Lord, like, I know you 322 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,400 were knocking because it takes, you know, bravery and confidence 323 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,920 to raise your hand and say, I'm ready. 324 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,760 Here it is. Yeah, and and you're so like 325 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,680 nervous because you're like, are they gonna tell me to come up 326 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:43,880 here? Are they gonna come to me? 327 00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,880 They gonna call, They gonna say Logan, this girl raised her 328 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:50,280 hand. No, but I just think, and I 329 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,000 don't even think it was the message. 330 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,320 Not anything bad about the message, but it was just that I 331 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,240 was so desperate. I was like, God, I need 332 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,080 something like I need to change. Like I need you to help me. 333 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,200 And I was just so desperate for it. 334 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,760 I just threw my hand up and I was like, I don't know what this 335 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,880 means, but I'm gonna. Figure it out. 336 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,920 We're gonna figure it out. And I just remember being so 337 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:16,360 hungry after that, after that day when I raised my hand, 338 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,880 something inside me just changed. 339 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,120 And I was like, I went home. I'm like reading my Bible. 340 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,560 I'm like, God, I'm just flipping through all this. 341 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:24,920 I'm like, what do I need to do? How do I do this? 342 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:26,840 Show me something, teach me something. 343 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,880 And I was just so hungry for it 'cause I was like desperate for 344 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,480 that change. It's so overwhelming when you 345 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,720 first like give it up to God because you're so hungry and you 346 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,960 want to be that sponge. You know, you have that 347 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,640 childlike faith in that point because you're a baby Christian. 348 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:44,280 You want to know everything. And I remember when I first 349 00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:48,400 started on this like walk and I'm like, I can't read enough 350 00:16:48,640 --> 00:16:50,520 and I'm not a fast reader. I'm going to be honest. 351 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:54,200 So I'm like, how can I? So I started listening to the 352 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,720 Bible app and I would do it like 2, like times 2. 353 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:01,600 I would speed that thing up so I can get through and I can get 354 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,280 like, OK, good. Because I mean, I wasn't reading 355 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,119 fast enough and you are you're so hungry at the beginning where 356 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,760 you're just like, what? Tell me like, use me. 357 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,119 Speak to me like you're in like, yeah. 358 00:17:13,319 --> 00:17:15,280 So yeah, I know what you mean. I. 359 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:18,640 Just remember like constantly reading my Bible and like now 360 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,520 I'm thinking back on and I'm like, I should be like that 361 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:23,200 still, you know, like I still want to be that hungry. 362 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,160 But it's just so different when you first get saved because it's 363 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,160 like you just want to learn so much. 364 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,800 And it is, like you said, overwhelming because it's like 365 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,280 you think to yourself, am I ever going to learn all this? 366 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,200 Am I ever going to catch up to all these people? 367 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,800 But you know, you just have to take it day by day. 368 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:41,760 One of the biggest things too was I always beat, I would beat 369 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:45,240 myself up when I first surrendered and I started like 370 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:49,160 and I would sin and I mean, I still, you know, but like at the 371 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:52,720 end of the day, like I was realizing how much I sinned. 372 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,640 Like I like I remember I used to have a filthy mouth. 373 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,440 Like every word that came out of my mouth almost was a cuss word. 374 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,600 And so like, right when I first surrendered, like I'm like, am I 375 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,200 ever going to be able to stop cussing? 376 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,720 Like am I ever going to be able to let that go? 377 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,400 And like, have you seen that video? 378 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,800 Like it's went viral so many times where it's a cup of water 379 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,440 and it's black and they put it under a fossil And it like that 380 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,680 is so true. I love that analogy. 381 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,480 I love that visual because the longer that we walk with God, 382 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:23,000 the longer that we have that relationship and keep seeking 383 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:26,440 him, like he will get rid of all that sin, you know, like 384 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,680 obviously we're going to send the rest of our life and do 385 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:30,360 things, but you're not going to feel good about it. 386 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,600 And he surely like the sins that I struggled with back then are 387 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,120 different sins than I struggle with now. 388 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,040 OK. So like once you were in church 389 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,440 that day, you know, you surrender, you go home and like, 390 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,480 were there fears? Were there reservations? 391 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,880 Like you're like, well. Definitely because I knew, you 392 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,040 know, with life change, like I was going to be losing those 393 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,320 friends. Like I wasn't going to be 394 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:55,440 hanging out with the party people anymore. 395 00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,800 I wouldn't be able to like just drown out my like sorrows and 396 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,960 sadness with alcohol. Like I didn't know anything 397 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,920 about Scripture or about the Bible. 398 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:09,480 It was scary, scary for me because like, I mean, when you 399 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:11,640 first look at the Bible, you're like, what does this say? 400 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,440 You know, just like it says in Scripture, like you're being 401 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,760 made new, like you have a whole new life and you pretty much 402 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,960 have to start from scratch. Like you've got to make those 403 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,680 new friends. You've got to make a new life 404 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,560 for yourself. Your whole personality changes. 405 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:28,280 Like I just remember everybody knew me like I had the alcohol, 406 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,480 I had a vape, like I was going to the party. 407 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,400 And it's like when you start changing that and people see you 408 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,920 out, I'm sure you experience this too. 409 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,000 They're like, what are you doing? 410 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,080 Like you're. Not drinking. 411 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,400 Like where's your vape? Like you didn't bring any 412 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,560 alcohol and I'm like. Like you're known for that. 413 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:46,600 So like I'm embarrassed because now y'all think I'm weird 414 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,200 because I'm not doing this stuff. 415 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,200 I literally smoke cigarettes from like I was like 14 years 416 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,000 old. No, absolutely absolutely no 417 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,640 reason. No reason. 418 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,560 Then when I cut it cold, they're like, yeah. 419 00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,920 What I know, you know the vape, it took me forever. 420 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,400 That was the hardest thing to get rid of. 421 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:07,920 Girl, 'cause it's it was so convenient. 422 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,280 It's so convenient. And it doesn't, it doesn't smell 423 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,040 like, you know, it's easy to get. 424 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,840 Like you can still drive with it. 425 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,480 Like it's not like alcohol. You can't drink and drive, but 426 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,920 you can drive and vape. Girl, I am litter. 427 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,600 I know what you mean. Like I am so embarrassed about 428 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:25,600 that and I am so embarrassed. I just. 429 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:27,360 Remembered like seeing a red light. 430 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:32,760 And I'd be like like from the church's next. 431 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,120 Girl, once I Oh my gosh, I got two things about this vape. 432 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:40,440 So when I first started getting involved with church, like I was 433 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,920 hanging out with Chloe and Catherine. 434 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:48,320 I'm so embarrassed. So I was still vaping like I had 435 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:51,040 already been feeling like convicted about the vape, but I 436 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:55,080 mean, I'm in a chokehold. I I cannot, like, I can't 437 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:59,280 fathom, you know, And so Catherine, we were meeting to 438 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,960 play pickleball or something and I wasn't expecting this girl to 439 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,680 get my car. Like I was not expecting it. 440 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,360 And I had just bought a new one. So a box was in the floorboard. 441 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:13,800 Honey, I locked the door so fast through it. 442 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:17,640 But that was the first time that I really felt like a hypocrite. 443 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:22,720 Like here I am hiding and I'm like, she's supposed to be, you 444 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,920 know, like one of my friends, everything. 445 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,960 And like that. It was just so bad. 446 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,800 And so come to find out, I'm telling them this story more 447 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:33,680 recently. I'm a book bag girl through and 448 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,000 through. You ain't gonna catch me without 449 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,720 in a book bag. And so I had a pencil bag. 450 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:43,480 Chloe said that I took the pencil bag out one day and there 451 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,520 was a vape in the pencil bag and we was at church. 452 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,800 Girl. And she said she saw it and she 453 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:53,560 was just like, I know. I know her heart, you know. 454 00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,120 Like she's working on it. She's. 455 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,240 Working on it. I ain't even gonna say nothing 456 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,080 but that made me start thinking even more like this is after 457 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,840 I've gave up vaping. So like, thank God she didn't 458 00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:05,760 say that like back then cuz I would have lost it. 459 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,920 But you know, just stuff like that. 460 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,200 Like I do like it's just, it really does take time to get rid 461 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,800 of that. Because when I first started, I 462 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,000 remember telling somebody like once I quit drinking, they were 463 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,080 like, are you going to quit? Absolutely not. 464 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:21,720 I don't know I'm gonna vape till I die. 465 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,800 But then like as time went on, I'm like, Oh my gosh. 466 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,880 Like And so when I went to a women's conference in November, 467 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:33,000 like I had been sober for like 2 months and I went to a women's 468 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,240 conference and I was like, God, like I want to surrender this 469 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,640 vape to you. Like I want to, I like, I don't 470 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,200 want to be a hypocrite no more. I don't want to be hiding it and 471 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,400 everything else. And so I prayed and prayed and 472 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,240 prayed and I'm like when I came home, it was tough, but I wanted 473 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:49,080 it. Like I wanted to do better. 474 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,440 So that is so big when you really want. 475 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,640 Something I think, I think you just have to get to that point 476 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,440 with some stuff. Yeah. 477 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:57,600 It's like you have to go through that phase where you're like 478 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,400 embarrassed and like ashamed, and then you finally get to that 479 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,960 point where you're like, I just need to get rid of it. 480 00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:06,880 So you, you know, you gave it up to God. 481 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:10,440 You're like, I'm doing better. I'm walking differently now. 482 00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,400 Get rid of those things that are keeping me captive. 483 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,400 How did this new life look like being brought from dead to life? 484 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,480 I just cried out for God to help me because I knew I couldn't 485 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,120 change on my own. And he answered me. 486 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,760 I wasn't perfect, obviously. And like I said earlier, there 487 00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,440 were definitely times where I felt alone because I had to 488 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,360 start over. I had to make new friends that 489 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:32,760 love Jesus like I do. I had to stop drinking. 490 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,400 And I honestly look back over my life and see how God was present 491 00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:39,840 in so many ways. He really had been chasing me 492 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,200 for years, you know, through me going to church with my grandma, 493 00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,800 through my dad trying to invite me to church like he was. 494 00:23:46,360 --> 00:23:48,720 He's been chasing me for a long time at this point. 495 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:51,600 And I just never listened or submitted to him, you know? 496 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:56,720 And the devil works hard. He does, honey, but my God works 497 00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,600 harder, OK, Because he got me. He got me. 498 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,320 Well once again, you know even through all that I prayed to God 499 00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,440 I was like God semi godly friends help me see a purpose 500 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,000 without alcohol. And he answered. 501 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,440 He sent me some of the best friends I could have asked for 502 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,480 that pushed me in my faith and encouraged me when I was 503 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,960 struggling. And I will say, when I first 504 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,760 surrendered to God, I was like, God, how is this even going to 505 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,680 be possible? Like I'm too far gone, like I'm 506 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,800 grown. I don't know how to make new 507 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:26,520 friends. Like everybody already knows me 508 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,680 as like a party girl. But he changed all that, you 509 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:34,360 know, like he, he really made me like completely new. 510 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,000 I'm not known as a party girl anymore. 511 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:39,440 I'm known as like a girl that loves Jesus. 512 00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,280 So it is possible no matter how far you know, because I thought 513 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,160 I was like way too far gone. But no matter how far gone you 514 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,400 think you are, like it can bring you back. 515 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,600 Facts because I mean like I was known as a party girl too. 516 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,800 I just remember when I, when I surrendered and I'm like walking 517 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,840 this out. I'm like, how in the world am I 518 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:00,360 going to be able to go the rest of my life without alcohol? 519 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,800 Time went on and they say it Celebrate Recovery like one day 520 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:06,640 at a time, one day at a time. And I'm like, like, OK, so as 521 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,520 time went on, I'm like, well, one day at a time ain't bad, you 522 00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:10,960 know? And then I look back and I'm 523 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,080 like, it's been a month. Like, Oh my, it's been a week. 524 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,880 I remember my first week, I'm like, like, I'm good. 525 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:22,440 And then so as time went on, I'm like, I'm fine. 526 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,640 Like, I love my life without it. I can't even imagine, like, 527 00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,240 having a drink or anything now, like. 528 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:31,200 So what were some of the first changes you noticed once you 529 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,000 were on the side of Jesus? So I think the first thing that 530 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,760 I really, you know, noticed was just peace. 531 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:43,280 Like it sound like I know even before I got saved I would hear 532 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,520 people talk about God's peace and I'm like, you know, 533 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:47,920 whatever. Like you don't really believe 534 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:52,080 it, but like God truly can give you peace like like no other. 535 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,400 Like it's. Really unexplainable. 536 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:55,560 I don't even know. I don't know how to. 537 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,400 Explain peace. Because like I just have such a 538 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:01,800 different piece, like even about God's will, like the things 539 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,400 going on in my life, Like I'm just like, you know what? 540 00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,600 Like he's got a plan. I'm at peace about things. 541 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,000 I would also say that I started feeling conviction. 542 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,880 God started changing me the day I surrendered. 543 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,040 I'm human. Of course I messed up even after 544 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,920 I surrendered. But each time I felt worse and 545 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,960 worse about it until I was like, OK God is telling me this isn't 546 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,400 who you are anymore. This isn't who you're called to 547 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,240 be. Like of course I still messed up 548 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,560 but every time I would mess up I would feel worse and worse about 549 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,640 it. And I'm like and eventually you 550 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:34,000 just got to get rid of it all. Together you do so you're 551 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,640 attending South side and girl you got you a man's honey they 552 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:43,560 done God done sent you a man's. So tell me a little bit about 553 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,320 like your husband Micah and how y'all started dating and all 554 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:48,840 that. Because I was serving at a 555 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,320 father daughter dance at South Side Wonder Robins and he was 556 00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:52,960 there. I guess he was serving, too. 557 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,280 And so I was working the punch. So like, just filling people's 558 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,160 cups with punch, you know, working the little snack table. 559 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:03,440 And he saw me there and didn't speak to me, but then asked Pat 560 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,760 Chastain who I was. And so Pat's daughter Carly 561 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,160 dates my brother Cameron. So of course, Pat knew me, too. 562 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,520 And he's like, oh, yeah, that's Logan, Carly's friend. 563 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,960 So he had talked to Pat, and he also talked to my friend Kayla. 564 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:19,200 And he wanted to get to know me so bad but never reached out. 565 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,680 Like, at this point, he's like, so shy. 566 00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:26,080 Like he's very shy and he even messaged me on my birthday one 567 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,560 year to say happy birthday and that's all. 568 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:30,640 And so anyways, I guess he eventually worked up the nerve 569 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:32,840 to talk to me. So he messaged me on Instagram 570 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:35,840 inviting me to, I think it was like a young adults event at the 571 00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:37,440 church. And I was, I was thinking to 572 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,960 myself, I was like, I go to the same church as you, like I'm 573 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,240 already invited. But I knew he was just trying to 574 00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:46,160 slide in my deals, you know? So anyways, that same day he 575 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,160 asked me for my number so he could invite me to future events 576 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:53,120 and we texted back and forth for probably almost a year. 577 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:56,280 Oh my God. Without meeting each other one 578 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,160 night I was, I would go to volleyball at the Pleasant Hill 579 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:00,880 campus. And so I was like, just come to 580 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:02,960 volleyball tonight. We can meet, see if we click or 581 00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,040 whatever. Like at this point I wasn't 582 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,120 really interested in having a relationship. 583 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:10,400 You know, I was trying to work on my, my spiritual relationship 584 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:13,400 and all that stuff and so. Did he not normally go to 585 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,640 volleyball? No OK thing like. 586 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,160 I bet everybody when he walked in there, exactly what is he 587 00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,160 doing? He did no, he did not go to 588 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,800 volleyball and so Needless to say we hit it off and we just 589 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,480 kept hanging out. I think like our net the next 590 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,800 time we hung out we like sat in the parking lot at the church 591 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,320 for like 4 hours and just. Oh, that's awesome. 592 00:28:33,360 --> 00:28:37,240 And it was like so funny because we could not be more opposite. 593 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,200 Like now though, like that we've been, we just celebrated our one 594 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,520 year anniversary. And so now that we've been, you 595 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,800 know, married for a year and like we've been dating for, I 596 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:50,200 guess almost three years, I don't know, it's hard to keep up 597 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:54,880 honestly. But we've kind of like adapted 598 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,480 to each other's personalities a little bit. 599 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,840 So like, he does things that I enjoy and I do things that he 600 00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:01,440 enjoys. Now we kind of like compromise 601 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,280 in that way. And so it works out really well. 602 00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,480 I do think that y'all have rubbed off on each other because 603 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,800 like, I didn't know y'all prior when y'all were separates. 604 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,360 But like you saying you're going to do all this stuff like I'm 605 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:15,480 like, girl, you stay at home, that is. 606 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:19,880 So like it's so that it's the craziest part because like I 607 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,040 really have turned into a huge homebody, like married. 608 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:27,600 Asleep by like 8:00 like I don't even, I can't even explain that. 609 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:31,520 And then like Micah also did not know him prior either. 610 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,600 But everybody just says like he's just so like more you know, 611 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,800 lively and talking and just out you know, like he's just 612 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,280 different. Like y'all have really brought 613 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,880 out the best of each other, you know? 614 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:45,080 I remember him when we first met and I was like, you know, 615 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:48,200 thinking how opposite we were. And now I'm like, this is like 616 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:50,720 the perfect person for being like, we really have like. 617 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,680 Yeah. Changed into like the best 618 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:55,600 versions of ourselves for each other too. 619 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:58,600 Oh, that is so sweet. Shout out Micah. 620 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,640 How really was this relationship different? 621 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:07,720 You know, like besides you know, just the way it started because 622 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,720 y'all texted and didn't hang out, you know, for a year so 623 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,800 y'all getting to know each other. 624 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,120 But like how does this relationship look different than 625 00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:18,880 previous relationships? Well, the main thing is this 626 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,320 relationship was so different because Nika didn't care about 627 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,160 the physical aspect of our relationship. 628 00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,120 Obviously he thought I was beautiful but we both knew that 629 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:30,120 we were waiting until marriage. He didn't push any boundaries. 630 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,240 He was very respectful and that's all. 631 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,920 He just loved me for me and not for what I look like. 632 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,040 He truly cared about me and wanted to learn about me and 633 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,920 pursue me the way a godly man should. 634 00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:44,120 Before I met Micah, like I was like, you know, I was open to 635 00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,600 like dating or whatever. And I would meet these guys and 636 00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:48,720 they would be like Christians on the outside. 637 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:53,680 But then they'd still like want, you know, push boundaries and do 638 00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:55,360 things that I wasn't comfortable with. 639 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,440 And I was like, you know, this isn't a godly man. 640 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,760 Like, you know, I'm, I'm going to just wait. 641 00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:03,080 Like, you know, this isn't who God has for me. 642 00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,360 Like, and Micah was just different in that way because he 643 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,720 was so respectful of boundaries. Like, we both had boundaries 644 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:12,120 like and we, we weren't willing to compromise those. 645 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:17,280 So I don't even know if we've said this, but Micah's granddad 646 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:21,720 was the pastor of Southside for the past 35 years and then his 647 00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,280 dad stepped in as the our lead pastor now for the last year or 648 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:28,560 so. So like, how was that? 649 00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:31,320 You know, like as a newer Christian, like, were you 650 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,920 intimidated, like dating like the pastor's son and someone 651 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,560 also that had been following Christ their whole life? 652 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:40,560 You know, like, how was that? Yeah, it was. 653 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:44,280 Definitely intimidating as a new Christian. 654 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:46,120 I was like, I'm so far behind this guy. 655 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,720 Like I'm never going to learn as much as he knows. 656 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,120 Like, I'm not good enough to be a part of a family that have 657 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,160 been Christians their entire life. 658 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,040 And you know, at the end of the day, the enemy just would have 659 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,920 loved to steal our relationship from us. 660 00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:04,160 I went to counseling. I talked to Pastor Dennis and 661 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:07,480 Pastor Dennis. Girl, he will lay it down for 662 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:08,960 you like he really has helped me. 663 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:11,680 I struggled bad with that because I was like, you know, 664 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,560 that was a lot of the battle when we were dating was just 665 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:18,520 like, I'm not good enough. And obviously that's the devil. 666 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,160 Like, you know, he just, he hates. 667 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:24,080 He hates marriage. He hates and he hates when 668 00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:27,360 people love God and they come together and get married and 669 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:31,240 love God together. It is very intimidating when 670 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,680 they've all been Christians their entire life. 671 00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,720 And you know, I can't hide my past from them. 672 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,160 Like they're going to, they're going to find out like she was 673 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:42,240 an alcoholic, like she'd smoke, like, you know, you can't hide 674 00:32:42,240 --> 00:32:46,400 that stuff from from everybody. And so I was like, am I going to 675 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:49,720 be good enough for this family after after they find out all 676 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,440 this stuff? And they were just so welcoming. 677 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,840 I really could not have asked for a better family to be 678 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,960 married into because they don't care about all that stuff. 679 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,240 They care about who I am now and how I love Jesus now. 680 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,640 Gosh, that's awesome. Girl, that is so good. 681 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:10,000 That is so good. One thing that I did before me 682 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,680 and Mike, I started dating like we hung out a few times and then 683 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:14,560 he was like OK I'm ready for you to be my girlfriend. 684 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,760 Ohh like he didn't waste some time like. 685 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,960 He said that's my woman. He wanted to be boyfriend and 686 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,560 girlfriend and said I was like, OK, well before you like make 687 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,600 that decision, I got to tell you some stuff. 688 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,120 I know what you mean. Yeah. 689 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,120 Because you don't want it to come down like, I mean, one, you 690 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,800 want to be open and honest, you know, because we don't, we 691 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,160 shouldn't have the intention of dating, just the date. 692 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,480 We have the intention to marry when we're dating. 693 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,320 And so when we get married, we become one flesh. 694 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,600 And they should know everything about you and everything else. 695 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:47,040 So you were just like, you know what I'm about to tell you, and 696 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,080 then we move. I was like, I don't wanna waste 697 00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:53,160 any of our time. I want you to know all this and 698 00:33:53,360 --> 00:33:56,000 you can make that decision if you still wanna date me or not. 699 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,840 I mean it was hard for him at first cuz he was like, I mean it 700 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,360 is shocked. He was shocked, I guess, and so, 701 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:05,480 like, it is hard for him. But at the end of the day, I 702 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:06,720 guess he still wanted to date me. 703 00:34:07,200 --> 00:34:09,239 So he was like I did. He's like, I can look past it, 704 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:09,840 girl. Yeah. 705 00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:14,080 OK, so you said y'all just celebrated your one year, went 706 00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:15,920 on a cruise last week. Yeah. 707 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:20,600 So what are some of those like big, you know, lessons that you 708 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,080 have learned in this past year? You know, when you first get 709 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,600 married or like when you're engaged, everybody's like the 710 00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,080 first year of marriage is the hardest. 711 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:29,800 Like I'm like, why y'all telling me that? 712 00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,639 First of all, let me just enjoy it. 713 00:34:31,639 --> 00:34:33,880 But that was so that was so not true for us. 714 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,880 Like we had a great time for our first year of marriage. 715 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,719 But the biggest thing that I have learned in our marriage so 716 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:43,080 far is that you have to forgive. You have to give grace. 717 00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:47,159 Your husband is your partner and it's me and Micah against our 718 00:34:47,159 --> 00:34:51,199 problems, not me against Micah. Forgiving and putting my pride 719 00:34:51,199 --> 00:34:53,480 aside is something that I struggle with so much and I'm 720 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:57,360 still learning to be better at. Like the biggest thing that I 721 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:02,600 have learned is that I have to, I have to say when I'm wrong and 722 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:05,720 I have to ask for forgiveness and say I'm sorry. 723 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:09,920 And that's really hard for me. But communication and 724 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,880 forgiveness and grace is just so big in a marriage. 725 00:35:12,880 --> 00:35:15,920 Yeah, because I struggle with that same thing as just that 726 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,840 pride and not wanting to say sorry and like, well, you need 727 00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:22,360 to look at yourself, you know. And so I just recently graduated 728 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,920 from a 12 step class that we do at Celebrate Recovery. 729 00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,240 And like, that was one of the things that was brought to my 730 00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:29,800 attention. I never even knew that like I 731 00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,400 was so prideful. Like I never knew that I was 732 00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,640 like, I wanted to point the finger at everybody else, like, 733 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:38,960 and I'm it ain't me, you know? And so like now that I have been 734 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,600 aware of that because I've been married for three years next 735 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,920 week. And so like, I feel like that 736 00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:50,800 has helped me like move into my marriage in a different way now. 737 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:53,960 And then also like learning each other's love languages and 738 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,760 really like leaning into that and making sure your partner's 739 00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,600 like love tank is filled up because, you know, we all have 740 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,920 different love languages. You know, mine's quality time. 741 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,440 So we have to make sure we're spending enough time just me and 742 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,600 him and his is words of affirmation. 743 00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,320 So I have to make sure I'm like, you know, encouraging him and, 744 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,440 you know, making sure he knows I love him. 745 00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,440 So that's a big thing too. Just making sure our love tanks 746 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,800 are filled up because when you look me personally when my love 747 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:24,160 tank is empty I'm so mad. Yeah, I'm not. 748 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,680 I'm not pleasant to be around. And, like, Micah thinks of 749 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,560 quality time differently than I do. 750 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,600 Yeah. Like, he thinks, you know, if 751 00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:33,760 we're both sitting in the bed on our phone, that's quality time. 752 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:35,240 Yeah. It's not quality time to me. 753 00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,200 And I'm not saying that bad against him. 754 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,920 I'm just saying, like for me, quality time is like we need to 755 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,640 be sitting here talking to each other and like hanging out, like 756 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,320 watching something together, like something like that. 757 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:49,280 It is so important to know other people's love languages like 758 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:52,200 because. For years. 759 00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:55,080 I love to show love and gift giving. 760 00:36:55,520 --> 00:37:00,280 People don't receive gifts like like for instance, I have grown 761 00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,880 stepchildren and I would gift, gift, gift, gift, gift. 762 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:08,600 I would love bomb them in gifts, right, Just please love me. 763 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,760 And like over the years they would just be like, you know, 764 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:16,160 thanks, you know, whatever. And I'm like, well, look, I'm 765 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,800 trying to show you love into them. 766 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,400 That's not, that's not showing love, you know, like, and so I 767 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,480 they were the reasons that it's opened my eyes to different love 768 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,400 languages or whatever. Because the same thing with my 769 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,360 husband. He he doesn't care about getting 770 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,640 gifts, you know, but to me, I'm like, put this is, you know, so 771 00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:37,000 and it's, it's good to know that just because you like to show 772 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:40,120 love that way doesn't mean that that's the way that you receive 773 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,320 love. As we start to close, what is 774 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:46,160 something that you hope someone takes away from your testimony? 775 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,240 I, I just hope that if there are any young women listening that 776 00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:53,520 you just wait on the Lord, listen to the song, wait on you 777 00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,560 and keep praying and just make that your anthem. 778 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,440 I know as women, we desire to be wives and moms and it's just so 779 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,360 hard to wait, but I just encourage you to just wait on 780 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:03,760 the Lord and keep praying. There are a lot of times that I 781 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,440 thought to myself, you know, just go find a guy and get 782 00:38:06,440 --> 00:38:08,720 married. Like this is taking too long. 783 00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:13,040 I just want to start my family, but thankfully God protected me 784 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:16,720 from myself. I begged God to send me someone. 785 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,920 I mean, I have a whole journal full of prayers for my future 786 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,080 husband. I just had so much faith that 787 00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,920 God was going to send me someone that loves Jesus as much as I do 788 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,760 and he did. And the thing that makes my 789 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,680 heart so happy is that Micah and I will raise our family to love 790 00:38:30,720 --> 00:38:32,880 Jesus. That's one thing that I didn't 791 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,560 have growing up and something that I want so badly for my 792 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,520 children. So I guess the main takeaways, I 793 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,840 just hope that if there are any women that are in the same 794 00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:45,520 situation, like waiting on that next phase of their life, 795 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:48,400 finding a husband, that you would just be patient and just 796 00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,960 keep praying. You know, you get to that 797 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,400 mindset and you're like, Oh my gosh, like I'm, I'm getting 798 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,040 older. Like I don't have somebody like 799 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,320 whatever you like. You don't want to settle because 800 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,200 God is going to prepare somebody's prepare like he's 801 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:06,200 preparing someone for you, you know, and just to move and make 802 00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,000 something happen, like it's just going to be destruction. 803 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,680 It's going to cause so much pain and heartache and everything 804 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,440 else in the back end of your life. 805 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:18,680 So it's like wait, like and it's so much easier said than done, 806 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,400 you know, like I remember when I me and my husband started dating 807 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:27,320 when I was 22 and all my friends were like already getting 808 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:28,400 married. They were in serious 809 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:29,600 relationships. All this. 810 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:33,920 And I'm like, I'm, I'm 13 bridesmaids, bridesmaid dresses 811 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:35,760 at this point. Like I'm tired of being 812 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:39,960 weddings, but you know, like it was my time. 813 00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:43,640 Like it's God is never late. He's never early. 814 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,320 Like his will is always on time. So we just have to remember 815 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,960 like, even though like we're in that waiting period and 816 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:54,840 whatever, like he's like, he's preparing us for that. 817 00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,800 Exactly. And you know, even when you're 818 00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:01,920 in that waiting period, it's like, I just encourage the girls 819 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:04,280 to like. Not compromise your standards, 820 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,720 like, you know what a godly man is going to bring to a 821 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:10,640 relationship. And I just encourage them to 822 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:14,080 like not settle in that, not let their standards waver. 823 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:19,040 You know, waiting for Micah was like probably one of the hardest 824 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:23,760 things ever because you get lonely, but it's so worth it. 825 00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:26,160 You know when you weigh on what God has for. 826 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:28,440 You, I'm not saying everybody's perfect, but you know, like 827 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,880 you'll know. And that's one of those things 828 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:34,880 too, about that peace, like you'll have peace when it's when 829 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:37,520 it's right, you'll know. And there are certain things 830 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,560 that like, you know, everybody talks about red flags these day, 831 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:45,080 but these days, but there are certain things that like or not 832 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:46,640 that you shouldn't compromise on. 833 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,360 Like regardless, like, you know, everybody slips up. 834 00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,640 And but when you are searching for your husband, like there are 835 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,240 certain things that you shouldn't let slide, you 836 00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:57,360 shouldn't let go, you shouldn't compromise on. 837 00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,040 So if you see those things, just get out of there. 838 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:03,240 See y'all. Yeah, girl, if I could talk to 839 00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:07,400 my younger self, I'm telling you what, Like that is one of the 840 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,240 hardest things that, you know, like I've had to learn to deal 841 00:41:11,240 --> 00:41:14,640 with is like, I wish I would have came to God sooner. 842 00:41:14,720 --> 00:41:19,360 I wish I would have like stopped searching the world, you know, 843 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:24,120 like, and it's just so hard. Like I have beat myself up about 844 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:27,240 that so many times. And I'm like, you can't like 845 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:31,040 it's only here for, you know, here on out. 846 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:33,280 It's not what you did in your past, like whatever. 847 00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:36,240 And so like, that's one of the reasons I wanted to start this 848 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:39,200 and like to have, you know, us get on here and just chat and 849 00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,680 everything because like we all have different backgrounds, 850 00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,280 everybody that I've, you know, I already have up until the end of 851 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:46,520 the year coming. Like we've all dealt with 852 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:49,440 different things. And it just shows you like, it 853 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,880 doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter what you've done. 854 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:54,320 Like God can use you, he's called you. 855 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,720 If you have a pulse, you have a purpose. 856 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:59,960 I think like looking back now, it's like if I would have just 857 00:41:59,960 --> 00:42:02,280 surrendered to God so much earlier, I would have saved 858 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,400 myself so much heartbreak. Yes. 859 00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:07,840 But then I just think like everybody has their testimony 860 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:09,720 for a reason. Like everybody's testimony is 861 00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:13,520 going to reach different people for different reasons and 862 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:17,600 encourage different people. So it's like everybody's life 863 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,720 has a purpose and every God has a plan for everybody and 864 00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:23,800 everybody's testimony. Logan, thank you so much for 865 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:25,960 coming on today. It has been such a blessing to 866 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:29,000 have you on. For having me, I'm so excited 867 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,520 for this podcast and can't wait to see like how many people you 868 00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:34,640 reach and all the stories. That you have. 869 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,640 You are so sweet. So guys, make sure that you are 870 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,440 liking and subscribing our page. We have so many great 871 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,480 testimonies that are coming out. Stay tuned, stay blessed, and 872 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:44,600 we'll see you next week.