1 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,640 What's up guys? My name is Alexis Brown, your 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,240 host with Praising in the Pot, and I am so excited to have 3 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:13,320 Deborah Helms with us today. She is from the Potter's house. 4 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,960 She's their house mother and just been a part of my life for 5 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,320 so long. She has been a spiritual 6 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,920 influence for me, a spiritual leader for me. 7 00:00:21,240 --> 00:00:23,800 And I just hope that her testimony touches you the way 8 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,040 that she's touched me. So we are going to start off in 9 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:28,440 prayer and then we're going to jump, right? 10 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,120 All right, Lord, Heavenly Father, thank you for today. 11 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:38,160 Dear God, thank you for all of your many blessings and all that 12 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,200 you have done in our life. Lord, you kept your hand on us. 13 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:45,440 Lord, you kept us out of, you know, way worse than what we 14 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,440 ever could have dreamed could have happened to us. 15 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,520 Lord, but you pulled us out. We are so thankful for all that 16 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:52,960 you have done and all you continue to do and the things 17 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,600 that you're working on right now that we have no idea about. 18 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,960 Lord, we just praise you. We pray that you speak to us and 19 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,240 through us in Jesus name I pray, Amen, Amen. 20 00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:06,000 All right, Deb, so I was telling you, like, this is just a 21 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,960 conversation. We're just going to jump right 22 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,440 in. We're going to talk about what 23 00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:12,880 God's done in your life, you know, what life looked like 24 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,400 without God. And so, yeah, start out like 25 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,480 tell us a little bit about yourself, maybe start out in 26 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,960 your childhood, and then we'll work up. 27 00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:24,000 OK, sounds good. So growing up my mom tried to do 28 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,640 the best she could do with raising us. 29 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,920 My mother and father were separated and I think it really 30 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,760 put a toll on my life because I really didn't have no life going 31 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:37,600 up with my dad. And it really the tragedy really 32 00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:44,040 started when I was 8 and my mom would work a lot and she woke me 33 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,400 back up. She's done got remarried and she 34 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,920 would work a lot and she'd party somewhat at night times and I 35 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:55,240 would stay with my step uncle and my aunt. 36 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:59,280 They would babysit us a lot. Well, at the age of eight, it's 37 00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:04,440 like my identity was torn. He started doing things to me 38 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,400 that shouldn't be done to a child at an early age. 39 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:12,440 And I perceived to talk to my Mama one day. 40 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,040 I'll never forget it. I was sitting in the car, I was 41 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,480 in the back seat and I said I told mom that what he'd been 42 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:22,800 doing and she didn't believe me. And so when she sort of shunned 43 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,360 that off it, it did something to me on the inside. 44 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:31,400 I think in my trust ended there with throughout through life, 45 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,520 that's where my trust issue came because the one person I felt 46 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:39,440 like that was protect me didn't believe of me being hurt. 47 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:45,800 So it just spiraled on into over the years till I got the age of 48 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,280 13 and I decided to go to my dad's. 49 00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,760 So even after you told your mom, you still had to go stay with 50 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,800 your uncle and stuff? Oh wow, yeah. 51 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,880 And so I can see. Where that is hard, you know, 52 00:02:56,880 --> 00:03:00,600 cuz you confide into someone that is supposed to protect you, 53 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:04,080 you know, and then you're still sent to that same space. 54 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:08,120 Did he know that you had told? No, no, OK. 55 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,080 Well, thank God. What a blessing. 56 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:10,520 Yeah. Yeah. 57 00:03:10,560 --> 00:03:14,040 Because it could have probably been way worse, you know, after 58 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,680 if he would have known that you said something. 59 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:16,880 Yeah. And then I started reading I 60 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,960 didn't realize it till now about my calling. 61 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:23,280 I want to help protect a woman was my cousin. 62 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,080 She would sleep in the same bed with me and I wouldn't allow her 63 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,040 to sleep on the outside the bed. I'd put her against the wall so 64 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:31,320 I knew he wouldn't touch her. It's like I don't know. 65 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,800 It's like mystery teaches us that we're already, we'll Start 66 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,520 learning through childhood how God is preparing us for what 67 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:40,120 he's calling us to do. So anyway, that just spiraled on 68 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,000 and I went to my dad's at the age of 13. 69 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,080 He lived in Memphis, TN and I just wanted out of it because I 70 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,480 hated school. I'd go to school and once would 71 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,800 make fun of me at school because I was just tormented on the 72 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:56,080 inside. I made bad grades and it was 73 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,200 just I thought about so much mess going on at home, I 74 00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:02,480 couldn't comprehend at school. And so I got to my dad's and I 75 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:06,960 met a older man, and what did I decide to think I'm going to do? 76 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,720 I needed him to save me. Yeah, well, I got married and. 77 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:17,240 How old are you at this point? 13 wow yes and I wasn't pregnant 78 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:20,200 or anything I was just looking for a way out and. 79 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,240 So how old was he? 20220 Wow yes. 80 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:27,240 And now you look back and you're like, that's a predator. 81 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,520 Yes, yeah. No, it's just crazy. 82 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,280 But I wasn't thinking anything of that. 83 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:38,560 And so, yeah, I got married and a year later I had my daughter 84 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,040 and I had my son at the age of 18. 85 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:45,200 But during this period of time, he was real abusive. 86 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,800 I mean, he would he would drink and he would beat on me a lot in 87 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:52,680 front of the kids. The kids saw a lot, but I mean, 88 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,200 I have to say I was a good mom, but I wasn't a good mom allowed 89 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,840 on to be in that. But I didn't really know how to 90 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,640 be a mom. I was. 91 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,240 So young. I mean, you're young, yeah, you 92 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,040 know. And so at the age of 18, I had a 93 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:03,480 girlfriend that lived down the street. 94 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:07,080 She come up to me and she said I got something you ought to try. 95 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:09,280 If you try it, he won't ever touch you again. 96 00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,200 I'm like, what in the world could that be? 97 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,280 And at that time it was called ice. 98 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:18,880 And little did I know, I tried it and it it took me away from 99 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,480 him, but it took me away from everything. 100 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,720 Yeah. And that was the beginning of my 101 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:26,720 mess. And so it just spiraled into one 102 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:28,960 big thing after another. And I left him, but I left my 103 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,400 kids there also. Did OK, so you said like you 104 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,160 tried ice and that's meth, right? 105 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:38,080 OK, so you tried that like you didn't start out. 106 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:42,720 Were you drinking and stuff? No, you just jumped fours like 107 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,360 because a lot of the times we talk about you know, you know, 108 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:49,360 you start drinking and then you'll go to weed and then like 109 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:52,720 it just is a gateway into more. But with you, like you just 110 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,040 jumped right into hard drugs, chemicals. 111 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,400 Yep, Yep. And it just took me for a 112 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,680 tailspin for almost 20 years, you know, 20 years of, of, of a 113 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,200 lot of destruction. And I don't want to want to go 114 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,400 into all that because there was so much of it that, that taking 115 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,680 place that I don't even know where to begin in that part. 116 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,800 It was just, I just know it was a lot of mess, a lot of 117 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:18,320 heartache and pain and not being the mom I should have been to my 118 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:21,840 kids, you know? So yeah, that's pretty much a 119 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,080 lot of the addiction part of. Yeah, the. 120 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:31,280 So, so you are, you know, you start that life, that straight 121 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,720 life, you leave your kids with your husband. 122 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:37,880 And how long were y'all married in 11 years, 11 years? 123 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,080 And so he did he have the kids the whole entire time or? 124 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,120 No, he had them for a good period of time, and then they 125 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:45,840 went home to stay with my mom and them. 126 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,400 Yeah, I'd finally, he got a hold of me and from the house I was 127 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,480 staying at, and he took me to a motel room. 128 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,680 And pretty much he had told me that he had me sold to some 129 00:06:55,680 --> 00:07:00,680 people and beat me pretty badly. And I told myself then I got to 130 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,360 find a way to get back to my mom and them. 131 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:08,120 And so I was 25 and I was able to get back to my mom's. 132 00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:12,360 Well, when I still got back to Georgia, I was still in my mess 133 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,320 trying to find where I could find drugs there because I 134 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,160 didn't gotten a strong addiction and left my children with my 135 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:20,920 Mama. So yeah. 136 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,400 And it just kept spiraling out for numerous amounts of years. 137 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,600 Oh, wow. Now while you're in this 138 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,280 darkness, you're basically living on the street. 139 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,680 How? Well, hang on, you said that he 140 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,000 sold you to people. He told me he. 141 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,760 Told you, but he did it. No, like, OK, that was kind of 142 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:38,840 just like that mental. Yeah. 143 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:42,880 Yeah. So what what exactly, like, 144 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,000 happens after that? Like you're just living in the 145 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,120 darkness and you're just fully just dead inside. 146 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,280 Or yeah, yeah. And so to just hanging out with, 147 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,280 going with random people of hanging out in different areas 148 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,760 that I had no business hanging out with, you know, and I will 149 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:03,560 say this, I got involved with some people that it was pretty a 150 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:08,560 dangerous ride and I was very stubborn, hard headed and a lot 151 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,520 of law enforcement was involved in partake with it. 152 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:14,320 And at that time I was really rebellious. 153 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:18,000 But I come to learn that I want to start helping people from the 154 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,440 mess that I've caused myself to be in the middle of. 155 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:26,800 And so I had gotten involved with different agencies and of 156 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:32,280 trying to help, to get people off the street and to help ones 157 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,400 that was in the mess that I was in. 158 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,000 And I would tell the law enforcement to use me to help 159 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,679 them in different situations than I would. 160 00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:42,400 I'd go into dangerous areas, not caring in the world. 161 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,240 I just want to go in there to help somebody. 162 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,840 But little did I know I was putting myself in danger and 163 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:50,640 then not even caring about my kids, you know, I jumped over in 164 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,480 this other total different life and left my kids not even caring 165 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,800 of what they was going through at home, you know, of not being 166 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,440 the mom I needed to be. I mean, there would be times I 167 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,480 wish I'd hit my head and and forget everything because it's 168 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,360 like I had a triple life going on. 169 00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:07,800 You know, I was in this marriage that I really wanted out of and 170 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:12,240 then not being the mom I need to be home with my family and then 171 00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:18,240 in the drug world. And it was just a crazy thing at 172 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,960 times of very scared. It was it was so much scared 173 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:24,040 that when I'd go to my family's house, they'd want me to leave 174 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,920 because they knew the stuff I was involved in. 175 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,400 Oh, wow, yes. And so they would tell me to go 176 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,960 on because they didn't want those bad people coming to their 177 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:34,320 home. And so, I mean, it was just a 178 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:38,400 vicious cycle of of mess. But I knew in my heart that I 179 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,480 wanted to help. I wanted to save people from 180 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,040 what I'd gone through. And I just felt like I'd go at 181 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:47,120 the ends of anything to use my own life to do it. 182 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:52,560 And I knew I couldn't become an actual full agent because I was 183 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:55,240 an addiction, you know, looking like a moron. 184 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:57,680 But I wanted it badly. So. 185 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:00,400 But I'm just grateful today as as well. 186 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,040 I will go into that of what God's doing with me now. 187 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,280 Yes, I know then, even in my mass that I really wanted to 188 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:10,720 help others from what I'd gone through and just a vicious cycle 189 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:14,560 of starting from the age 8, of not trusting anyone to help me, 190 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,720 from where I've come from, that I want to be that person that 191 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:19,920 somebody could trust to help one day, you know? 192 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,760 Yeah. You know, you, you said that 193 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,840 Mystery makes a comment about like when your kids like he goes 194 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,360 ahead and starts preparing you for something that you're called 195 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,320 to. And then you said that. 196 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,360 And it kind of like, because I've, I've said this on the 197 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,280 podcast and I honestly say it a good bit, like I don't remember 198 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:42,520 a whole lot of my childhood. Like not that it was like such a 199 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,320 bad childhood that like I'm blocking out memories. 200 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,560 Like I really genuinely don't know. 201 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:49,080 I don't know why I don't have those memories. 202 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:53,240 God could be protecting me from things, you know, but I just 203 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,320 like thought about something. It was and, and I remember, you 204 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:02,840 know, having always going to like celebrate recoveries and 205 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,800 you know, the serenity prayer and stuff like that and those 206 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:09,200 types of groups. And I remember hearing about an 207 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,120 Al Anon group for the first time when I was a kid and I was like, 208 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:16,120 man, I would love to do that. Like I would love to be in an Al 209 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:19,080 Anon group, but like be a leader of an Al Anon group. 210 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,200 Never been in one, you know, never went to a kids group, you 211 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,800 know, of addicted parents or anything. 212 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,720 But like, I remember that being a thought in my head. 213 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:32,120 And like, now I think back and I'm like, that is really what 214 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,520 I'm doing now, you know, Like I'm trying to show testimonies 215 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,400 and bring people on here to show what God's done in their life. 216 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,320 And that was a thought that I had as a kid. 217 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,280 Yeah. It's pretty well it is. 218 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:49,200 I've never and I remember thinking, you know, like where 219 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,320 did this come from? And people ask me all the time, 220 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,880 like where like one of the girls asked me this morning, Caprice, 221 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,760 she said, why don't you start a podcast? 222 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,000 I'm like, I don't know. God placed it on my heart and it 223 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,480 just spirals, you know? So yeah. 224 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,120 So when you're in this, you know, you said your kids are 225 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,560 with your mom. I've already said that. 226 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,640 But do you have a relationship with them? 227 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,560 Do they talk to you? You know, like y'all do have a 228 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,560 good relationship even though you're in and out? 229 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,360 Oh, OK, good. In 2019, I come across this 230 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:25,400 place on Google and I was like, OK, I'll go try it out because I 231 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:28,160 have tried several. And I'd get in there and maybe 232 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,920 30 days and I think I had it and then I would leave. 233 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,520 Well, I didn't know. As I've learned here, I wasn't 234 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,920 discipled. I knew I wanted to change. 235 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,840 I wanted the better. I just didn't know how. 236 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,920 And so when I finally found this place, I was like, where has 237 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:46,000 this place been? You know, here I am 44 years old 238 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,640 and I finally found what I've needed the whole time. 239 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:56,160 And so anyway I found it in 2019, I'd gotten to the Potter's 240 00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:00,280 house and 30 and I hadn't been there 30 days and I was told my 241 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:05,960 mother had passed away. And so I left and my daughter 242 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,400 wanted me to stay with her cuz she commits to thinking that she 243 00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,720 didn't want to lose me. But little did she know that she 244 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,920 was going to anyway cuz I hadn't gotten the healing that I 245 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:17,840 needed. So I stayed out for six months 246 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:24,160 and just a vicious cycle again and met some people almost died 247 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,400 and I called Miss Shree and she allowed me to come back. 248 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:33,600 Well, I come back and I've been there for three years plus I 249 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:38,320 think 3 1/2 and I become the house mom and on fire for the 250 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,280 Lord. I mean just loving the Lord and 251 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:47,040 just super on fire for him. Excited how he spoke to me and 252 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:52,720 here I go getting on Facebook and thinking once again that 253 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:58,080 man, yeah, you know, a guy come across on my page and went to 254 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,800 telling me that he's been sober for two years. 255 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:05,400 And I've known this guy for all the for about a good maybe 23 256 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,520 years in my life. And we were just friends and I 257 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,800 was thinking, well, OK, maybe it's time for me to get that 258 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:14,720 relationship that my heart heart does desire to have. 259 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:18,920 One day. He went to telling me that his 260 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,960 mom, his mom all had passed away the same time Mama did. 261 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,440 He'd been clean two years. And I'm thinking OK. 262 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:28,040 Wow, that's a lot in common. Right, so I'm thinking, OK, 263 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:30,280 here's my God, man. Yeah, Well, I'd go down to the 264 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,640 prayer room and I'd come up and he gave me a verse. 265 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,360 When I come up, I'll never forget it was Psalms 43 and it 266 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:41,720 says I'm giving you a new song. And so be young in faith and 267 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,240 just learning about on this side of Christ. 268 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,320 I'm thinking God's telling me he's my new song. 269 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:54,040 Well, I go being sacred behind my leaders back and trying to 270 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:57,800 get down there on the weekends to to see him not knowing that's 271 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:04,920 right there .1 that's wrong. And so it just spiraled over. 272 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:08,680 And then I went to tell him that I was fixing to leave, that God 273 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:12,840 then gave me a God man. Well, here I am stepping out of 274 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:18,400 God's will and I leave and I get down there with this guy and had 275 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,840 it been two weeks? And he says, why don't you go to 276 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,640 your sister's house for a minute and drop me off here. 277 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:26,160 I'm thinking, no, yeah, there's nobody talking to me anymore. 278 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,760 I've done left everything that God's placed in my life once 279 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,320 again or this guy. And you know, you just get this 280 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,400 feeling on the inside. I'm like, Oh my God, he's about 281 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,200 to do something. Well, he was still in addiction 282 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:41,280 and I right then I was like, it's over. 283 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,000 I've done it, I've done it once again, I'm a failure. 284 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:50,320 Here we go again. And so I tried to stay sober. 285 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,560 What time I was there, I knew I didn't want to call anybody else 286 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,320 super embarrassed. That went like maybe six months. 287 00:15:55,320 --> 00:16:00,600 No, I'd say 5. And I used, that's when I 288 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:04,560 learned about fentanyl and I've never experienced that before. 289 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,640 And well, when that took place, we was out of town. 290 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,520 I got a phone call and was told that my son had just been in a 291 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:17,120 tragic car accident. And it's still kind of hard to 292 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:23,160 talk about. But anyway, that took place. 293 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,480 And then after that, I felt like I deserved to die. 294 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:31,120 So I lived in my car for a year. I mean, I literally saw demons 295 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,440 everywhere. It was like a spiritual battle. 296 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,920 I even saw the picture of the devil on my windshield. 297 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,520 And we'd go fishing. I mean, snakes would literally 298 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,800 fall out of the trees. And that's not just saying, oh, 299 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:44,320 being high of seeing things, This stuff was literally taking 300 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,120 place. I mean, I was being tortured and 301 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:49,960 I didn't realize until I got on the side. 302 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:53,600 You know, it says if you sweep your house clean and you go back 303 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,280 in that mess, there's seven more coming after you. 304 00:16:56,280 --> 00:17:01,000 And so by the grace of God, I was out in my car one day and I 305 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,680 was laying there and just sweat and bugs was eating on me and I 306 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,640 was like, I can't do this anymore. 307 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,240 Miss Lisa had been talking to me back up. 308 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,400 Miss Lisa had been talking to me periodically three times of 309 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:13,319 asking me when are you coming home? 310 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:16,119 And I'm like, oh Lord, I get to go back. 311 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,880 And he would show me signs as so much as being at a store in the 312 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,480 middle of nowhere. And I'm going to get a drink out 313 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,680 of the machine and I hear girls saying Miss Deborah, Miss 314 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,760 Deborah. I'm like, Oh my gosh, somebody's 315 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,760 fixing to see me from the Potter's house and I have a 316 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,800 mess. I was so embarrassed, but God 317 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,920 was trying to lead me back. But let me go back to say I was 318 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:41,760 in my car and I just said I couldn't take it no more. 319 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,320 The guy was still in the front seat looking for his mess, 320 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:46,720 thinking I didn't stole his stuff. 321 00:17:46,760 --> 00:17:50,880 I'm over here about to die in the front seat, just hadn't 322 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,560 eaten in days. And I said I got to get a phone. 323 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,400 But I got to a phone and just so happened that all my sisters was 324 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,400 in the same spot together. Oh wow. 325 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,080 And my one sister that I was always afraid to ask anything. 326 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,680 No one. She would, but I was just 327 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,880 embarrassed because of my mess. She said, if you're truly 328 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,600 serious this time, I'll get you the money to get you back to the 329 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:14,080 Potter's house within 30 minutes. 330 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:17,680 OK, so my car, I had to get a guy to bring a gas can to my car 331 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,960 to give me $5 worth of gas to make it to the gas station. 332 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,120 And then when I got to the gas station to meet her, I was no 333 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:28,160 farther than maybe from the house to the church from the gas 334 00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:31,160 station and ran out of gas. Then my sister had to go to her 335 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,440 house to get a gas can again to help me get gas to make it back 336 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,640 to the Potter's house. But when I got in my car and 337 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:41,280 finally got gassed up on the Interstate, I felt like so much, 338 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,680 so much freedom. You know, I had a cigarette 339 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,680 light. I didn't want a cigarette. 340 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,080 I threw that thing out the window. 341 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,080 I was like, I'm just excited to be getting back. 342 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:56,280 And so I've gotten back going on over my three years and it's 343 00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:00,400 been the most amazing life. It's like this morning I got in 344 00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,240 Psalms 43. I've given you a new song. 345 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,440 Yes, but before it says I pulled you out the muck and mire. 346 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,080 And my new song is what we're doing now is able to tell what 347 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:16,200 I'd gone through once again, because there's ones that has 348 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:20,000 gone back out. But thank God we made it back. 349 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,600 And I feel like God's using me now to help the ones that's 350 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,720 that's come in and also the ones that's had to go back out to not 351 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,920 beat yourself up of having to go back out. 352 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,320 But he's giving you a new song to to tell the ones there is 353 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,960 hope, you know, that you it does happen. 354 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:43,760 But I'm just very grateful today he's allowed me to be a teacher 355 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,280 that I never thought I would be. I'm like when he called me to do 356 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,040 that for these girls and Srini told me I was going to do and 357 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:50,520 I'm like, there's no way. I mean. 358 00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:55,560 And once again, where I was little, I remember I used to put 359 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,360 papers on the bed and I would pretend they was kids in that 360 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,360 room and I'd be talking to the paper. 361 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:05,280 Being a teacher. And so I'm like, but it's been 362 00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:08,640 amazing because how I'm able to teach is each day, whatever I go 363 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,840 through, I'm able able to give it to them. 364 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,000 And I really been trying to for well, I don't God uses me to try 365 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,320 to get to the root of the problem. 366 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,080 And it's from their childhood. And I've learned that when the 367 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,320 teacher had come to me, I'll never forget Miss B, She said, 368 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,240 well, we want to go into to the root and to what took place. 369 00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:28,920 And she said, it's on forgiveness. 370 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,400 You're going to write your mom a letter and then I want you to 371 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,760 read it to me pretending that I'm her and we're going to get 372 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,280 that mess out and you're going to be able to help others with 373 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,000 it. I'm thinking what in the world 374 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,880 is lady talking about? She is crazy. 375 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,160 This is not going to help. But it took me 3 days to write 376 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,560 that letter. And then when I've done it, it's 377 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:55,320 like I forgive my Mama, you know, I don't have her freeing. 378 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,080 Yes. It's like I don't have her here 379 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,240 today. But I'm so free from that 380 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,160 because you know how many years I used that and I blamed her for 381 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:07,320 my mess from that. And it's just like a freedom. 382 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,200 And so now, just like I said, I'm able to help teach the girls 383 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:13,720 what God uses me to teach them from that what I've gone 384 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:16,120 through. And it's been such a, a big 385 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,160 blessing. And, and I'm very grateful for 386 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,880 my leaders. They've helped me become the 387 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,880 woman that I'm becoming today. And it's just such a blessing. 388 00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,680 And I'm very grateful for God has me and the ones he is 389 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,440 placing in my lives so much as you and your mom. 390 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:35,480 I'm very blessed to have just like I said this morning, it was 391 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,680 just a blessing of what I what I went through yesterday of the 392 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,400 feeling with my son, just how God's brought you here from 393 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:46,160 yesterday of me having the pain from him and then used so much 394 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,320 and want to take us to eat. I had to stop thinking about 395 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,880 being and thinking about going to eat. 396 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,240 And then this morning I went in my moment of crying about him. 397 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,240 And then you open my door. You're just such a huge blessing 398 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,720 to it. Like I'm just very grateful for 399 00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,760 today and everything that's taking place in my life and. 400 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,040 So like this is one thing that when you were just talking 401 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:09,000 about, you know, how you were here and you're on fire and then 402 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:13,640 you left and you went into the world and, and then, you know, 403 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,920 God still brought you back. You know, he doesn't always do 404 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,560 that sometimes when you're so disobedient or something. 405 00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:23,560 Mystery actually talked about this yesterday and we were just 406 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:28,520 talking about being lukewarm and somebody brought up, you know, 407 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,480 something about a lamb. And like when they wander off, 408 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,800 you know, he always he'll go after the he'll leave the 99 to 409 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:40,200 go after the one. Yes, but he punishes the one by 410 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:45,760 breaking their legs and then he has to wear this the the lamb 411 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,600 around his, you know, neck until the legs heal. 412 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:55,200 And then once they're healed and you most of the time they don't 413 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,760 leave again because they're so used to the master at that 414 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,160 point, you know, like they've they've learned their lesson, 415 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,160 whatever. But if they leave again, then he 416 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:08,520 will kill them. And that just kind of, it's a 417 00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:10,920 little morbid, but it's the truth. 418 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,840 I did not know that until yesterday because I've heard, 419 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:16,600 like, people say, like, God, I was so scared that God would 420 00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,200 take his hand off me. You know, like, I know for a 421 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,320 fact my mom has said, like, she knows that if she were to go 422 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,840 back out, then he would take her life. 423 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,040 Yeah. It's safer. 424 00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:29,880 And I always wondered like, how do you know that? 425 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,800 And she and now after I heard mystery teach that yesterday, 426 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:37,360 I'm like, she knows like you just like you, you know, and 427 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:42,440 it's just such a blessing that that he, he's a forgiving God. 428 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,880 You know, he's he has grace and he let you come back. 429 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,040 But just knowing him on the personal level that y'all know 430 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,880 him today, you know you wouldn't you wouldn't want to live a life 431 00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,760 without Jesus because you've seen the goodness and what all 432 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:59,240 he's done. And so oh man, I just love 433 00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:02,160 coming here because every time I come here, I feel like there 434 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:05,400 really is no distractions. Like you just walk in and you 435 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,440 feel the presence of God in this home. 436 00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,520 And just like you say in me being here for you too, like you 437 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:15,040 feel like I've helped you, you know, do things and it's just 438 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:16,680 God just puts people in our lives. 439 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,960 You know that just, we mean what is something that God has just 440 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,280 shown you or taught you or just what was something that you've 441 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,120 been studying, I guess. Well, too, I was thinking what 442 00:24:27,120 --> 00:24:28,960 time you were talking. I remember I would go back a 443 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,840 minute. When I came back, I had to live 444 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,160 with Mystery at her house for almost a year. 445 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:39,720 And that time I stayed there. I just stayed in my word. 446 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,360 And I was like, God, please speak to me again. 447 00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:43,320 Please speak to me again. I know you're mad at me. 448 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:46,840 And I remember asking Pastor DRI text him. 449 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,000 I said, what should I read? He said, read the book of James. 450 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,680 I'm like, oh gosh, OK, I'm pissing to learn about myself. 451 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:57,120 And so for a year almost, it's like I was getting in trouble by 452 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,080 the Lord. He would tell me things I was 453 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,200 getting in trouble for where I was disobedient at. 454 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:06,600 And then finally he had told me it'd been a year in August and 455 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:10,400 I've got it underlined in my Bible where he's told me. 456 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,200 I think it was First Corinthians 10/8. 457 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,160 He says go back and do what I had you to do a year ago and 458 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,920 I've been back a year and he was letting me know he was fixing to 459 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,120 place me back into doing what he had me to do. 460 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,000 But I had to go through, like you said, periodically a period 461 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:28,360 of time of me learning of where I did go wrong. 462 00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:30,960 But what I did say, he was still speaking to me. 463 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:37,720 And so here lately he's been teaching me about within myself 464 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,880 of you can do all these works that I've had you having you to 465 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,360 do, but I want to fix you on the inside. 466 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,280 And my biggest thing was my heart. 467 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,960 I want to speak on this too, of where you're saying how we know 468 00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:56,320 that we don't have another shot. So he kept giving me scripture 469 00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:58,280 on heart, heart. And I'm thinking, oh, my gosh. 470 00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:01,480 OK, well, one day still my heart's desire, you know, of one 471 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,880 day of, of this fairy tale life, which I know to be that he's 472 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,280 going to get to me one day, but he's got to fix me first. 473 00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,120 Yeah. And so my heart had been hurting 474 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,120 and I'd went to the I said, OK, I'll go to the doctor. 475 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,920 So I'd went to the doctor and I've come to find out that I'm 476 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,160 like a little point something away from congestive heart 477 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,360 failure. Wow. 478 00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,120 But some people could take that and run with it and go Oh my 479 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:27,560 God, Oh my God. But what I took it as you don't 480 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:32,680 got no more chances because see, my mom was went into a full 481 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,840 blown addiction too. But she had been sober nine 482 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,040 years when my dad passed away. Oh wow. 483 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,440 And so I didn't get to tell that part either. 484 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:46,520 But anyway, she went back out one time and when she did it 485 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:49,360 that one time, it hit her heart, heart attack. 486 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:54,680 And so where my mind went as it did for mom, I was like, you 487 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,520 don't got no more chances. You better get in here and do 488 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,040 this thing. Luckily that God allowed me to 489 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,760 come back. He didn't take me on home in 490 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,640 that mess that I got to given another opportunity to do his 491 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,600 work. So to say that that's what he's 492 00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,440 really been dealing with me on lately of of helping me on my 493 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:18,080 inside of my heart because I was easy too quick to to fall into 494 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,240 any little thing. My heart gets touched one way. 495 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,320 I'm like, oh, OK, yeah. But he's really been 496 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,480 strengthened me on that part. And I've come to learn that if 497 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,680 it is to be one day of of that man coming into my life, you 498 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:34,880 know, I don't got a list written out. 499 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:38,520 All the things I gotta check, yes. 500 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,920 And I don't want to. I mean, I may joke about it at 501 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,680 times about that taking place in my life one day, but I truly 502 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:50,960 want it if it's to be to be right and and for God to be 503 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:54,040 first and foremost with it, you know, and it'll lie in every 504 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:58,400 which way that you know. It just scared me this that this 505 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,600 last time and then losing my son too. 506 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:06,360 That song Mary did you know, I know it's about what Jesus done 507 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:12,240 for us, but also know that God used him Jesus to to save us. 508 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:16,080 And with me having the death of my son, it's really changed me 509 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:21,880 to where God used him to to. I don't want to walk in that 510 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,480 anymore of losing another person in my life and me being in my 511 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,600 mess because I tormented myself too. 512 00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:31,120 When I come back and I beat myself up so much of where I 513 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,720 blame myself for his death because I know the power of 514 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:39,200 prayer and I see the covenant that God places on us with our 515 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:42,240 children and our family and that as long as you're doing it, his 516 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,560 will will do everything I've seen it done. 517 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,160 And I feel like when I stepped out of his will, that got that's 518 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,920 where I went knowing not to be true, but that's where my mind 519 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:54,480 went that he just took his hands off everything. 520 00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,440 And so it scared me. And so I don't know, I'm just 521 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,040 very grateful today and he's really been teaching me a lot in 522 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,400 areas of of wisdom that I didn't grab a hold the first time I was 523 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:07,400 here. And I just want to help others 524 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:12,600 with that things that he's doing in my life now of I just want to 525 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,680 be sure that everything's in lines up with his heel and he's 526 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:20,440 first and foremost and everything Even so much as of 527 00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:23,480 going somewhere, even going home to visit my daughter and him. 528 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,800 I didn't, I mean I just really get scared today in areas of not 529 00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:30,160 wanting to mess up anymore of what God has in store for my 530 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,880 life. Well, you were talking about 531 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,320 that, you know, he kept giving you things about your heart. 532 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,000 And I remember when we were at the beach, you kept talking 533 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,520 about your heart. You know, you're like, he keeps 534 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,920 giving me heart found like a seashell that's a representation 535 00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,960 of a heart. Like it was just like heart, 536 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,400 heart, heart, heart. And I've heard you over even the 537 00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,880 last few months before you went to the doctor about your heart 538 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,560 and you know, like if you weren't aligned with God and 539 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,640 like you didn't, you didn't know why he was giving that to you. 540 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:02,040 But like, what if you, you know, still wouldn't went to the 541 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,640 doctor or anything like that? But you know, he was already 542 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,080 giving you signs of that. Yes. 543 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:12,200 And that's like being so aligned with him, you can hear him, you 544 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,880 can see him, you have the spiritual eyes here, heart and 545 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,720 ears to know when he's speaking. And that is just it's so great. 546 00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,800 But when I think about like you and your daughter now y'all have 547 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,680 a great relationship. I mean, I'll call and you're 548 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,400 like, I'm on the phone. My daughter, I got to go like, 549 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:29,760 or I'll call you back later like you know, or something or like 550 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:31,600 in the mornings, y'all talk every morning. 551 00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:35,680 Yes wow y'all had that relationship of your in and out 552 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,320 but now it's like restored. Yeah, and God, he's just forming 553 00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:42,840 back in the sweetest way and the number one thing I'm trying to 554 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,040 help her with today that I'm very blessed on this 555 00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,280 relationship is helping her with the loss of her brother. 556 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:51,440 Yes, she's it's really been taking it super hard. 557 00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:57,560 And so the peace that surpasses all understanding that no one 558 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:59,640 can give but God. I've I've been learning that 559 00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:03,200 with the Lord of losing Eddie, like I'll go through certain 560 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,120 things so much as you. He just does things to me when 561 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,840 I'm, I'm having a moment about Eddie and got to come along and 562 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,920 he'll do something. I'm truly been trying to want to 563 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:18,800 work on that of helping Nicole because it's like I felt like I 564 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:21,400 thought that she needed me when she was younger, which she did. 565 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:25,160 But all my mess, I've gone through that today since she's 566 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,480 gotten older, there's things that she's going through that 567 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,560 I'm just so grateful that I'm the one that's able to help her 568 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:38,080 so much As she went into alcohol of drinking and I was like, oh 569 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,960 gosh, you know, I didn't know how God was going to use me to 570 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:43,520 help her in areas without going and saying. 571 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:46,160 Don't do this, I know. Don't do that. 572 00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,200 You know you can't do that, you know, because she definitely 573 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,160 ain't gonna listen to me because of where I've come from. 574 00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,200 And then too, I can't go in there telling her that because I 575 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,120 knew how I was, I wouldn't listen. 576 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:59,680 Nobody tell me what I better do. So I'll never forget this part 577 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:05,600 of she knows that I'll ask for a book in the Bible and give me a 578 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,360 number and it God would always speak to me. 579 00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,960 Well, one day she's randomly said, let's do Eddie's birthday, 580 00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,480 Mama, let's do let's pick his date and do his birthday. 581 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,200 I said, OK, well then let's do it. 582 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,440 And it was in Samuel. I'll never forget it. 583 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,560 I think it was Samuel 214. Anyway, he says, you sluggard, 584 00:32:24,560 --> 00:32:25,840 how long are you going to drink that wine? 585 00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:32,800 Well, yeah, she'd been drinking and it was like, OK, Mom, I got 586 00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,240 to go. I was like, OK, I'll talk to you 587 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,280 later. And so, but the neatest part is 588 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,520 to look at something that seems so bad that God was already 589 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:43,280 orchestrating us. She was learning how to hear 590 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,920 from the Lord. And then I didn't beat her down 591 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,280 by what she was doing. You know, I wanted to help her 592 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,560 because I knew that where I'd come from, the same mentalities, 593 00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,680 the things she was going through that I really wanted to help her 594 00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:57,880 with that without trying to look like I was trying to beat her 595 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,600 down. It was just the neatest way. 596 00:33:00,600 --> 00:33:03,080 That's how our relationships really has been starting is 597 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:09,240 really actually with that. And so and then two things with 598 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,640 her brother. I'll never forget. 599 00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:15,360 She was mad with me one day. I was going down the road with 600 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:16,680 mystery. I wish I had it with me. 601 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:18,160 I should have had it with me to show you. 602 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:22,360 And I kept taking pictures of the clouds and there's a piece 603 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:25,040 of rainbow in there and I'm too. I love the rainbow. 604 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,600 And I couldn't stop taking it. And so Miss Shree was talking to 605 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:30,520 me and at all times I wasn't listening to her. 606 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,840 And I always listen to everything she tells me, but I 607 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:34,920 wouldn't listen to her that day. I couldn't stop taking the 608 00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:38,040 pictures. And so I had pulled it down and 609 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:41,200 it was a weird shape of a face like that. 610 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:43,920 And I was like, that is the craziest looking cloud I've ever 611 00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,160 saw. But you could actually see the 612 00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,240 two eyes, the nose and the mouth wide open. 613 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,480 And I was like, I'm going to send this to my daughter. 614 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,320 And so I sent it to her and she said, who took this picture? 615 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:54,880 I said I did. Why? 616 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,360 She said, I'm going to show you what got sent to me this morning 617 00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,560 off Facebook. And it was her brother, that 618 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:03,440 same face. Yes, it actually looked like his 619 00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:08,480 face in the clouds. And so God has been holding us 620 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,000 back together. He's been doing it in the most 621 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,120 sweetest way. And so it's also been getting 622 00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:16,040 her excited because she knows it's been the Lord doing it. 623 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,360 And so she, I don't know, it's just been the sweetest 624 00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:22,280 relationship because now she'll dig in that blessing jar. 625 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:25,239 I want to see what God tells her or are saying, like picking the 626 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:28,560 numbers of the book of the Bible and then we get to share it. 627 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,600 So. That is, that's one thing that I 628 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,199 think about, you know, too is like it comes up a lot when, you 629 00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:37,840 know, we see someone in our life that we care about so much and 630 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,880 we want them to come on this side of Jesus so bad. 631 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,800 We see that they're living in that darkness, but we don't know 632 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,280 how to address it. But just being a light being, 633 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,920 being, you know, showing the love of Jesus more than anything 634 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,440 and not condemning them or beating it over their head. 635 00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,320 Like you should know by my mistakes, you've seen what my 636 00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:02,160 life has been like, those things like that's how you know, he got 637 00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,840 my attention. This time is really my mom had 638 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,640 told me for years, like she was concerned about my drinking. 639 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,280 Like she did that for a while. And then this last time she's 640 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:15,400 like, you know, I could, I knew she was just praying for it. 641 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,880 You know, more than anything, she just never said anything. 642 00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:20,960 But she was just trying to be a light to me. 643 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:27,200 And that made me interested that how how did, how are you so in 644 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:29,640 darkness? And now all of a sudden you're 645 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,160 just like a whole different person. 646 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,720 Like she was a light when she walked into a room and people 647 00:35:34,720 --> 00:35:37,480 are drawn to her, you know, like, and so I started seeing 648 00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:38,800 that in the same thing with your daughter. 649 00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:42,200 She saw the light in you and she was like, well, I'm a little 650 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,960 interested. Let's you know, it's just good 651 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,440 because that's one of the common things that I've heard in these 652 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,840 testimonies is like when someone has lived without Jesus and then 653 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,040 they come to know Jesus, it's always someone that has been a 654 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,840 light to them that made them intrigued. 655 00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,800 Like how did you get that? How did you come out of that? 656 00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:03,920 But that's good. I'm so happy for you and your 657 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,720 daughter. Yes, that is amazing. 658 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:07,840 Yeah. So like, tell us a little bit 659 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,600 about being a house mom and like, what y'all's day-to-day 660 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,440 maybe looks like here and what, what what are y'all pouring 661 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,800 into? Like, what? 662 00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,240 How do y'all go about it basically? 663 00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:20,960 OK, well, we start. We get up at 5:45 every morning 664 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,440 and the girls get an hour of quiet time with the Lord. 665 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,440 And like I, I've been taught that that's the most very 666 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:30,200 important time of the morning is to get that hour with the Lord, 667 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,360 to let him start our day because it is a house full of women and 668 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,680 a lot of personalities and a lot of feelings and emotion goes on. 669 00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,120 So it's a neat thing to watch how we put him first and how he 670 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,920 just moves in his house in the most peaceful, sweetest way. 671 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:47,800 And then we're, like you had said, in devotion time where you 672 00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:50,600 don't realize how God's speaking to his sister in the same way. 673 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,400 And I must give him the same thing. 674 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,200 And so it's neat to watch the excitement when they learn God 675 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,360 speaks to him. I mean, Lily run to the house 676 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,040 shouting. And so, yeah, it's just neat to 677 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,080 watch when they come in from the darkness that I didn't realize 678 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:07,840 they saw within myself when I come in. 679 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,640 And when your light gets turned on, yeah, you start realizing 680 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,000 that God speaks to you. And then you realize that's the 681 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:16,360 best high in the world of knowing that how he talks to 682 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:16,800 you. Yeah. 683 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,280 You know. That's that's I said this with 684 00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,680 Miss Cherie yesterday. I'm like, once you feel God's 685 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,800 presence and you hear his voice, that's something that you crave 686 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,080 more than. Anything. 687 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:32,720 Like you really, and I said this too, but you can't explain it to 688 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,360 anyone. You can't explain the feeling 689 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,680 that you had, what you felt like. 690 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,640 You can't, no one will understand until they 691 00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:44,040 experienced it themselves. But then that's something that 692 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,760 you know is like a high, you know, like it's like you're 693 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,680 seeking him constantly, like and you're looking for him 694 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,680 everywhere because you want to be in his presence again. 695 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,200 And if you don't know that you were, if you've been in his 696 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,840 presence, then you haven't like you know, really, because you 697 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,840 know without a shadow of a doubt, like you will feel an 698 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:07,320 overwhelming feeling of that was God, yes. 699 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,080 Yes. Yes, I didn't mean to cut you 700 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:09,800 off. No, it's OK. 701 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,320 And it's like Maslisa said too. When you come into the Potter's 702 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,680 house and you Start learning that God speaks and you'll tell 703 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,920 people about it and they'll look at you like what he said. 704 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,840 You don't know God's beats because he does, you know, and 705 00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:25,840 that's the sweetest thing about this program. 706 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:30,080 It is a discipleship program. And so he'll give it to us so 707 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,400 huge in here that when you go out that door, because you know, 708 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,400 we're really hard headed, the ones that comes in the door, 709 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,120 super stubborn. That's what causes to get to the 710 00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:40,880 mess that he'll give it to us. So big in here that when you go 711 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:42,880 out the door, you gonna say no, I'm going to tell you what he's 712 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,000 told me and what he showed me. And so that's the, that's, 713 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:50,280 that's big to us in here because it's like knowing that where 714 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:53,400 we've come from, that the Almighty God speaks to us, that 715 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:56,200 he's forgiven us. And what I've got, and I want to 716 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,760 tell you too, what I got this morning about the woman that he, 717 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,200 he told her to go, that her sins had been forgiven. 718 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,800 He had many sins, but her sins had been forgiven. 719 00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,080 She was how she worshipped him, knowing that where she come from 720 00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,080 and that he forgave her from what she had gone through. 721 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:15,840 And then how he'd, how he speaks to her is like I said, you know, 722 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:18,520 like that's our excitement that we get here of knowing how much 723 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,760 God loves us and how much we're worth. 724 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:22,800 And that's a lot of the lessons that we get here. 725 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,720 You know, I'm sure he comes in and gives us the word and it's 726 00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,640 like Miss Lisa said, she teaches it like no other. 727 00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,920 And when she teaches it, she believes it, you know, 728 00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:33,560 wholeheartedly. Oh yes. 729 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:36,440 And see, I told her like I was telling her this morning. 730 00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:40,160 And I'm sure you see the same. Learning the relationship with 731 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,760 him first and foremost, absolutely. 732 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:45,040 But when we learn, as I've learned from her, to ask him 733 00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:46,600 what to ask for. Yes. 734 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:50,720 And I saw that myself, she said. No, I'm going to ask him. 735 00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:54,560 I'm going to ask him because he'll tell her to to to ask me 736 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:55,760 what do you want me to do for you? 737 00:39:55,760 --> 00:39:57,600 Yes. And we could ask him several 738 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:01,880 things and it'd go wrong. But when we ask him what to ask 739 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,800 him for and he gives it to you. I don't know. 740 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,000 That's just been one of the biggest lessons that I've gotten 741 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,920 here, learning to hear him exactly how he wants things 742 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,880 done, not ourselves. And then when you ask him, he'll 743 00:40:12,880 --> 00:40:15,400 show you everything to AT Yep, you know. 744 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,240 Because there are so many times that we will hear from God, but 745 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:21,120 then we try to interpret it into what we want. 746 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:26,320 Yes, and that's why that leadership that I was telling 747 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:30,000 about me quitting my job, but a lot of people knew I wanted to 748 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,160 quit my job. They knew I wanted to go into 749 00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,720 full time ministry. And they're like, you know, but 750 00:40:35,720 --> 00:40:39,080 sometimes we do hear what God's saying, but we're going to try 751 00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:43,600 to manipulate it into what we want it to be like, what we 752 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,120 think it's supposed to be. So yeah, you might have heard 753 00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,240 that. So then, too, when you sent me 754 00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:51,720 that rainbow, he was like, oh, that wasn't even clarification 755 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,120 for me because I already knew without a shadow of a doubt, he 756 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,960 had given it to me so many times. 757 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,760 And that is one thing too, is like, just don't go off your 758 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:01,000 feelings. You were talking about your 759 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,640 heart and how used to you'd get a little feeling or you'd be and 760 00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:05,840 you'd be like, oh, Yep, I've got. 761 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:09,480 That's what I that's what I do. But now you seek even more. 762 00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,360 You go further trying to get more clarity. 763 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,680 It's not just that, you know, thing. 764 00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:16,520 And then you're like, oh, yeah, my feeling. 765 00:41:16,640 --> 00:41:19,320 Yeah, I feel like that, you know, it goes into more. 766 00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:21,080 But yeah. But sure. 767 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,280 He did talk about that about, you know, ask him what we should 768 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:27,600 be praying for. Ask him how to pray for what we 769 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,000 need to be praying for. That is something that I've 770 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:31,480 learned from her too. I love that. 771 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,160 Yeah, yeah. But too, like Miss Lisa comes 772 00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:39,320 and gives her groups, you know, and we're constantly either into 773 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,720 a group or we go do fellowship at different churches. 774 00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:45,360 But yeah, it's basically seven months for Jesus. 775 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:50,200 Yeah, because it's not really. Like it's not just drugs and 776 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,800 alcohol. That ain't nothing to do with 777 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,400 this program. No, we don't talk about that. 778 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:55,360 We don't want to hear about that. 779 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,840 We we want to hear about Jesus. Yeah. 780 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,760 Like Miss Cherise says that if we was to come here and and stay 781 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,480 focused on the problem, we'd be like in defeat all the time. 782 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:07,320 But like she said, when Jesus touches, you're healed, you 783 00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,080 know, So the only times we really pretty much talk on that 784 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,600 stuff, it's like when we have to speak to someone that may be 785 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,200 struggling with that to let them know there is. 786 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,280 There's hope. We'll go ahead and start closing 787 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,400 out. Do you have anything that maybe 788 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,760 you want to share? Maybe you, maybe God's revealed 789 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,480 to you or something that's just heavy on your heart. 790 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,320 Heart that you would like to say. 791 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:31,120 Now I'm just truly grateful and honored and you'd ever thought 792 00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,720 I'd be sitting here right now talking like I am about things 793 00:42:33,720 --> 00:42:37,200 that as I've gone through through life and to tell about 794 00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:40,240 Jesus, what he's done. And he is the first and foremost 795 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:42,440 and that's what life's about today is him. 796 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,680 And so like I was telling mystery this morning, it may 797 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:49,200 sound crazy, but that other world, you know, I'm just, I'm 798 00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,680 just want him to use me in all this world that needs to be 799 00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:53,440 done. So when I get on the other side, 800 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:55,800 Oh my goodness, what a day it's going to be. 801 00:42:56,000 --> 00:43:00,760 And I underlined it. Well done. 802 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:07,320 No, that's great. Well, this has been awesome. 803 00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:10,080 I love getting to talk to you, but especially when we get to 804 00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:11,720 record it. I wish we could record all the 805 00:43:11,720 --> 00:43:14,600 conversations that go on because it's just always. 806 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,440 Pretty amazing, yes? Well guys, I hope you enjoyed it 807 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,600 as much as we did. Stay tuned, stay blessed, and 808 00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:21,400 we'll see you next week.