1 00:00:03,640 --> 00:00:05,320 What's up guys? My name is Alexis. 2 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,520 It's your host of Praises in the Pod, and I am excited to be 3 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,320 recording by myself today. It's been a while. 4 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:14,480 I want to catch you up about some things, talk about some 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:17,680 struggles I've been dealing with, and just really just be 6 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:22,040 open, honest and transparent with you guys because we really 7 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,160 have to deny our flesh. And we're going to talk about 8 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:26,320 that, but we're going to start off in prayer and then we're 9 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:27,800 going to jump right in. So here we go. 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,080 Lord Heavenly Father, I just thank you for all that you have 11 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,400 done. As I prepare for Easter and the 12 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:41,040 celebration of life, I am just so thankful and I sit in 13 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:45,880 gratitude and Thanksgiving and just sit in awe that I serve a 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:53,640 living God, a God that came down to walk with us and to give his 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,640 life up for us. To be beaten on that cross for 16 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,040 my sins. Lord God, it's just something 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,760 that's just unimaginable and I'm just so thankful. 18 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:08,040 I'm so thankful that I get to serve you, that I come to know 19 00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,720 you and then I have a personal relationship with you. 20 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,440 I pray that you speak to me and through me today. 21 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,400 I pray that this podcast glorifies you on every episode, 22 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:21,240 every post, everything that comes from praises in the pod. 23 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:25,520 Lord God, I pray that it is for you and I pray that it glorifies 24 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:28,360 you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 25 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,720 Amen. Guys, as I have just been 26 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,600 preparing for Easter, like I said, I have just been sitting 27 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:43,120 in complete awe. It's just complete awe that the 28 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:48,160 God of the universe, OK, the God of the universe, the creator of 29 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:55,000 all things, sent his Son to come walk with us and then to die on 30 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:58,360 a cross for my sins and your sins. 31 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:04,000 It's just, it's like one of those things that your brain 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,720 just doesn't even really comprehend how someone can be so 33 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:12,600 selfless. It's just, Oh my gosh, like it's 34 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:17,440 just so beyond me how a God can love someone so much. 35 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,480 And so just just do that for someone. 36 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,440 I don't know. Like I said, I have been 37 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,840 preparing for Easter for our church and having this 38 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:31,000 celebration and just trying to put like all these details into 39 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,880 making this day special for people. 40 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:37,480 And you know, some people may think that it's like being over 41 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:41,680 the top, but I want people to have the best experience 42 00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:46,400 experiencing God. So some people only come to 43 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:51,800 church on Easter and Christmas. OK, as long as you come and 44 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,320 you're trying to get the word, I'm here for it. 45 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:57,640 But if you do come, I want you to be wowed. 46 00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,760 I want you to feel the Holy Spirit. 47 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:04,120 I want to do everything that I can do to make you have the best 48 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:08,040 experience possible. So then you may say, you know 49 00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:11,720 what, I want to come next Sunday and the next Sunday and the next 50 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,160 Sunday and the next Sunday. I want to be a part of that. 51 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:22,360 And so I have been full force into decorations and backdrops 52 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:25,760 and just little ideas that I have had along the way. 53 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,080 It is just been crazy. I signed myself up for this 54 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,840 stuff, right? Like 100%. 55 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:35,560 Nobody expects me at my church to do this crazy stuff. 56 00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:39,560 But I want to do it because I'm about the little things and I 57 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:43,160 like projects and I like to do stuff like this. 58 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,760 So I'm like, you know what? I want to make it great. 59 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:50,240 So I have been painting nonstop, painting nonstop. 60 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:55,200 Should it be have been nonstop? No, no, I count, I can't count. 61 00:03:55,400 --> 00:04:01,720 I have miscounted these boards at least four different times, 4 62 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,000 different times and I'm tired from it because it is draining. 63 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,720 It's hot outside. It's not like terribly hot, but 64 00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,960 you know, like if you're in the sun, it's just, it's just kind 65 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:16,040 of draining. And so I have been doing that 66 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:22,680 and preparing. I have been so, so convicted. 67 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:26,600 And this is me being so open and like open and transparent with 68 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,960 you guys. I have not been in the word 69 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:34,160 probably last week for like 5 days. 70 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,840 Like I went five days without getting into the word and that 71 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:41,200 is like so disgusting to even say. 72 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:45,000 Like I have beat myself up so bad about it. 73 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,280 Like to the point where I'm like God doesn't even want to hear 74 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,240 from me. Like I've already went five days 75 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:56,200 like being so shameful about not being in the Bible and I've just 76 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,120 been so convicted every single day. 77 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,800 But then like, I'm like, Oh, well, it's already been a few 78 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,760 days like, and I'll just like not do it. 79 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:12,760 And then on top of that, like previous to that, it was for a 80 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,760 little bit, I was being super like complacent where I was just 81 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:20,040 reading to read. And so then I started doing 82 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,840 better, started spending more time. 83 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,080 And then I just fell off the past week like because of the 84 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,680 stuff I've been doing and like just being tired. 85 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:32,800 But then on top of that, I get so mad at myself because I'm 86 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,920 also laying there on my phone. I'm literally laying there on 87 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,160 TikTok, laying down in bed watching TV, like all this other 88 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,760 stuff. And it's like, I can't go spend 89 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,800 some time in the word. I can't go literally spend some 90 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,840 time in the word. But I'm going to do this. 91 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:53,280 And then on top of that, I'll let my flesh win because I have 92 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,440 these convictions and these thoughts in my head. 93 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,720 Literally, as I'm scrolling on TikTok, I'm like, I really need 94 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,120 to go read the Bible. Like I really need to go spend 95 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,360 time with God. I really need to go be, you 96 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,000 know, intimate with him and all this stuff. 97 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:13,400 I don't, I don't. And it has literally just been 98 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:18,680 so disgusting to me. So then yesterday, yesterday, I 99 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,720 was about to record with a girl on her Testimony, and I just 100 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,640 came up here and just opened up the album. 101 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,760 Because if you don't start, you'll never start. 102 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,400 If you keep putting it off, you're just going to 103 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,160 continuously put it off and put it off and put it off. 104 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,560 And so then today I woke back up. 105 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,920 I came up here, did it again. And I'm not saying like I'm 106 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,320 reading like 50 chapters or anything. 107 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:45,840 Like I'm reading my devotion and I'm reading the chapter. 108 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:50,680 And, you know, I'm just trying to get back into that routine of 109 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,280 spending that time with him and being in prayer. 110 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:59,760 So we're actually doing a prayer series right now at church and 111 00:06:59,760 --> 00:07:02,440 it's talking about being intentional when we pray. 112 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:09,720 And so man, week 1 was crazy. I was so convicted week 1 113 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,880 because I was like, every time I start to pray, I say these, 114 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:17,320 these filler words, right? Like I've even talked about it 115 00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:21,280 on here that before I open my eyes or right when I begin a 116 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,680 prayer, I say it every single time. 117 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,280 I say Lord, thank you for this day and all your many blessings. 118 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,360 While I mean that, I truly mean that. 119 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,840 That's so passive. That is so passive. 120 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,240 I literally have just become made that a script. 121 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:38,960 I have made that a script to God. 122 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,440 Why would I say the same exact thing? 123 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,280 I don't say the same exact thing to my husband every day. 124 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,000 I don't say the same exact thing to my friends every day. 125 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:52,080 Why would I do that to God? So that ate me up. 126 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:56,240 Like I'm sitting there and I'm like, Oh my gosh, I do that. 127 00:07:56,800 --> 00:08:02,200 And then, you know, he was also talking about like, if you take 128 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:06,320 out because I'll say like Lord God throughout my prayer, right? 129 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:09,000 Like I'll say a sentence and then I'll maybe be like Lord God 130 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,360 or you know, Lord Father, like all this stuff, like I throw his 131 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:19,640 name in there all the time. And our pastor even like took 132 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:25,160 out like Lord God and those filler words and put his wife's 133 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,040 name and he was like, what if I'm talking to my wife? 134 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:31,320 And I say it that way? And I'm like, Oh my goodness. 135 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:37,679 Again I realized like I have been praying so wrong. 136 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,640 So, so wrong. Even though I have been like 137 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:46,560 very distant with my Bible reading, I have, I do feel like 138 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:55,320 I've been more intentional with my prayers because I have been 139 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:59,360 really trying to dive deep into saying who God is and like his 140 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,040 attributes and just being able to spend more time with him and 141 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:06,640 actually, you know, just be more intentional instead of just 142 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,640 being complacent about how I'm praying. 143 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,000 And so that's just been a really big thing that I've been 144 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:16,240 actually doing, you know, and maybe I haven't been reading my 145 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:19,120 Bible, but I've been, you know, doing better with prayer. 146 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:23,160 And it's like, because like, I do have a friend and she spends 147 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,600 every single day in the Bible, like she's going to do her quiet 148 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:29,040 time, like all this stuff. And, you know, she's made a 149 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,760 comment too, that she's like, you know, I can't believe like 150 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,760 people don't read their Bible every single day. 151 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,560 And I'm like, sometimes like that's me, you know? 152 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,560 And like that kind of ate me up too. 153 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:45,120 I don't know, guys. It's just like, it's our, it's 154 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,680 our flesh. It's truly our flesh. 155 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:51,160 Our flesh doesn't want to spend time with God. 156 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,880 Our flesh doesn't want that. It's our soul that yearns for 157 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,640 that. And so that's what that that 158 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,400 battle is like. You have to surrender your flesh 159 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,720 and do what you're supposed to do. 160 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,040 You have to be held accountable. And I think that's one of the 161 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,000 things that I wanted to jump on today and really just say that 162 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,040 because now you guys can hold me accountable. 163 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,880 You can be like, have you been reading your Bible? 164 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:17,280 And I just want to move forward better. 165 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,160 I want to do better about that. I don't want to be complacent. 166 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:26,560 I don't want to go days on end without spending time in God's 167 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:28,200 word. How am I supposed to hear from 168 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:34,280 God if I'm not in his word? I just just the struggle like 169 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:36,600 here I am. I even just talked about Mary 170 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:42,960 and Martha a few weeks ago. I'm like, here I am being Martha 171 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:46,840 again, you know, running around. I really just wanted to jump on 172 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:50,240 today and talk about that. Like last night when I was 173 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,000 thinking about actually saying that on the podcast, I was like, 174 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,200 this is like my confessional because I'm by myself. 175 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:01,120 I'm talking to a camera, the lights and everything. 176 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,280 I feel like I'm on Big Brother or something like in the booth, 177 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:08,840 like talking, but or like when people go to confess their sins 178 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,880 in their own, like one side of the door, Like I genuinely was 179 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,800 thinking that and kind of Lola little bit. 180 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:18,760 But really there's power in the tongue and I'm speaking it that 181 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,560 I'm going to do better. I'm going to hold myself 182 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,160 accountable. I want you to hold me 183 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:27,840 accountable. I want to, you know, be a 184 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:34,560 well-rounded Christian, OK, like as or I'm not even a Christian, 185 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:40,640 a follower of Jesus, OK, Like I don't want to just say Christian 186 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:45,600 as in, you know, something that people put themselves in a 187 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,760 category of, you know, like and they could be lukewarm and all 188 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:51,040 this stuff. I want to be a well-rounded 189 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,240 disciple of Jesus. I want to read my Bible. 190 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,040 I want to pray, I want to worship. 191 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:00,200 I want to do all the things that God calls us to do equally. 192 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:05,840 I want to have balance because maybe I listen to all worship 193 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:10,600 music and I never really ever, ever, ever, ever listen to, you 194 00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:12,640 know, secular music or anything like that. 195 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,160 But you know, I fall short of praying while other people may, 196 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,840 you know, listening to worldly music, but they read their Bible 197 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,360 every day. Like we're not going to put 198 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:27,440 ourselves at like, oh, I'm a better Christian than you 199 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:30,960 because I do this and I do that. Like, I just want to be 200 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:33,160 well-rounded. I don't want to compare myself 201 00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,160 to anybody. I just want to do what God's 202 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:38,040 calling me to do. I want to read my Bible. 203 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:41,960 I want to worship. I want to pray, pray for me, 204 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:45,840 pray for others. I want to just be intentional in 205 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:48,920 my relationship with Jesus. And how do you do that? 206 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:52,000 You find balance. You can't be all this way all 207 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:55,720 that way and not do one of the other, right? 208 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,720 So like, if you read your Bible and never pray, well, that's 209 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,880 kind of crazy. And then if you only listen to 210 00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,400 worship music, but you never read your Bible, OK. 211 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:08,280 But if you never read your Bible and never worship, OK, you know, 212 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:15,000 like Adique, I never want to get on here and act like I know 213 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,760 exactly what's going on. This is just me and my thoughts. 214 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:23,320 This is me and what I'm going through and the struggles that I 215 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:29,960 have of surrendering my flesh. You know, it's so hard. 216 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,920 This life is truly the best life I've ever had. 217 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,480 Do not get me wrong, do not get me wrong. 218 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,800 But also it is hard to deny your flesh. 219 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:41,600 It's hard to walk with Jesus. It's hard to stay on top of 220 00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,480 things and to be intentional about these things. 221 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:50,920 So I mean, but it's easy. Like yesterday, for instance, 222 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,040 right? Yesterday. 223 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:53,440 I'm so glad I thought about this. 224 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:59,360 I acknowledged that I had. So one of my friends, let's reel 225 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,320 it back a little bit here. I feel like I've been all over 226 00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:05,200 the place and if you've still stayed this long, thank you. 227 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:10,760 But one of my friends posted on his Snapchat story and he said, 228 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,840 what is so hard about reading your Bible? 229 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:16,400 Like, genuine question. Like, why are you not reading 230 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,600 your Bible? And normally I've just clicked 231 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,640 through that, but I want to be open and honest about it. 232 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:25,160 And I said, you know, it's just like the actual act of reading 233 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,560 is what gets me. Like, I'm never been a reader. 234 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:31,800 First grade. I had to have like extra help in 235 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,440 reading. Like I was one of those kids 236 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,640 that got pulled out of a classroom to go into another 237 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,920 class to help learn how to read better. 238 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:42,400 And so, like ever since then, I've just been a terrible 239 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,800 reader. I don't like to read and all 240 00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,720 this. And so like he wrote back and 241 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:53,160 he's just like, ask God to give you the desire to read his word 242 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:58,040 and to place it on your heart to love his word, to love to hear 243 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:02,800 from him, to love to read it. And so like I truly, he said 244 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,120 that three days ago. And I have been saying that like 245 00:15:05,200 --> 00:15:09,200 regularly, like God give me that desire to want to be in your 246 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:14,200 word, to love to read your word. And so yesterday I start reading 247 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,360 my word and I'm with one of my girlfriends. 248 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:17,920 We went and got coffee yesterday, right? 249 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:21,640 And she was listening to the radio and she was talking about 250 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,680 like she brought the attention to the song that was on the 251 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:28,680 radio. Not really like to the song, but 252 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:32,480 it was just like saying something about K love or I, I 253 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,720 don't even remember what it was. And I looked at her screen and 254 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,920 it said this song and I was like, Oh my gosh, I love this 255 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,040 song. They sang this at Windfire when 256 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,840 I first went Charmel did and she like knows Charmel and stuff. 257 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,880 So like we talked about that and whatever, I just dropped it 258 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,680 right? Like I didn't think nothing else 259 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:54,280 about it. Well, then I'm scrolling on 260 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:57,720 Facebook and I realize that it's Windfire weekend, like this 261 00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,120 woman's retreat that changed my life. 262 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,040 And I'm like, oh, how cool is that? 263 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,400 So that song was played this morning. 264 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:12,160 Then it's Windfire weekend and all of like, whatever. 265 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:17,080 So then I'm riding down the road and I listen to the song and 266 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:22,920 this overwhelming feeling comes over me and I'm like, Oh my 267 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,560 gosh, like it's around the time of my anniversary where I gave 268 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,800 my life to Christ, right? I knew of Christ when I was a 269 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:35,560 kid, but April 22nd and 23rd I gave my life to Christ in 2023. 270 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,720 So this would be year 2. And so like it's coming around 271 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:42,440 that time when fire weekend the song and it was just like a God 272 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,200 wink kind of thing. Because last year for my one 273 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:51,040 year, the same day that I read the scripture, children born of 274 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,560 not natural descent or human decision or a husband's will, 275 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:58,560 but born of God, John 113. The first time I read that, he 276 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:03,960 gave it to me exactly 1 year later to the day, one year later 277 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,079 to the day, he gave me that. And so like that was a reminder 278 00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:10,200 like happy anniversary. I gave it to you then I gave it 279 00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:13,200 to you now like whatever. And then this year it's like 280 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:17,160 he's reminded me again, like happy anniversary or not even 281 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:23,400 anniversary, happy birthday because I was made new that day. 282 00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:29,200 I completely surrendered. And that was something that Miss 283 00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:31,600 Pam was talking about on windfires thing yesterday. 284 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:36,000 I went and listened to the live of it and she's like, do you 285 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,520 know of Jesus? A lot of people say yes, right? 286 00:17:39,760 --> 00:17:44,400 I think it said every four out of five people in the United 287 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,560 States know that Jesus is God, right? 288 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:54,080 And that's like a huge number or like they know of Jesus. 289 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,920 Hang on. I think it's every four of five 290 00:17:55,920 --> 00:18:00,360 know of Jesus. And then she did like, you know, 291 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:05,720 different numbers and she's saying, but it was only like 40% 292 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,840 have actually surrendered to his will. 293 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,440 And that's what I'm talking about. 294 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:15,560 Like I knew of Jesus prior. I, I would have said, Oh yeah, 295 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,840 like I'm a Christian all this. But I wasn't surrendered. 296 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,760 I wasn't living for him. I was not let living my life to 297 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:28,720 please him or to glorify him in any means, any means. 298 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:34,720 I was only living my life to please Alexis at the time. 299 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:39,440 I was only doing what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it 300 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,640 and what was fun, what was going to have a great time. 301 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,600 That's all I was doing. So but that April 22nd, April 302 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,200 23rd, when I finally surrendered and he spoke to me, those two 303 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:58,720 days back-to-back, that is when I stopped living for myself and 304 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,760 started living for him because he spoke to me. 305 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:04,240 And that's just so big. Going off of that, I really want 306 00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,560 to read what I read in my devotion today because it's just 307 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,440 so good. You know, I was living the way 308 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,640 that I wanted to live. I was doing all the things to 309 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:15,400 have fun and to glorify me, self glorification. 310 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:20,360 I wanted myself to look good. I wanted myself to be popular 311 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,240 and fun and all this stuff like that was so important to me. 312 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:29,680 And so like I did a lot, a lot of sinful things, a lot of 313 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:34,160 sinful things. OK, And so then that goes hand 314 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:38,720 in hand with what I read in this devotion this morning. 315 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,080 And so it says, you are valuable. 316 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,400 God demonstrates His own love for us in this. 317 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,960 While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 318 00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,480 Romans 58I once saw an illustration in a church service 319 00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:56,080 that profoundly affected me. The speaker held up a brand new, 320 00:19:56,080 --> 00:20:00,360 crisp $100 bill and asked the congregation if anyone wanted 321 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:02,440 it. Of course everyone did. 322 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:06,760 The speaker then scrunched up the bill, jumped on it. 323 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:10,000 He held it up again and asked who wanted it again. 324 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:14,240 Everyone did. Then he told us that the $100 325 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:18,240 bill had been stolen, used to buy drugs, and used to pay for 326 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,520 sex with a prostitute. Then he asked if anyone still 327 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,640 wanted it. Undaunted, everyone did, because 328 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,480 they understood the value of money is not determined by what 329 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,880 it experiences or how it looks. Its value is determined by the 330 00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:34,680 government that printed the bill. 331 00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:39,560 You're just like that $100 bill. Regardless of your history, 332 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,240 regardless of all that you have been through, God will always 333 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,560 want you. He sees you just the way you 334 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:50,440 were made, beautifully, wonderfully, and full of great 335 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,880 value. Thank you, Lord, that you see me 336 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:55,080 as valuable. Thank you for shedding your 337 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,560 blood on the cross for me. I know that You've loved me and 338 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:06,280 the truth sets me free. So I guess as I begin to close, 339 00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:09,920 I'm going to ask you that. Do you feel like you're not 340 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,960 valuable because of the way that you have lived? 341 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:16,880 Do you feel like God doesn't want you because of it? 342 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,560 The way the things that you've done, the way that you've lived, 343 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:24,080 because I know at one point I'm like, there's no way God can use 344 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:27,600 me. There is no way that I can work 345 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:29,320 at a church. There's no way that I'm going to 346 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:33,400 have a Christian podcast where I'm going to try to like lead 347 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,440 people to Christ or help them grow their relationship with 348 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,480 Christ. There's no way that I'm going to 349 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:42,400 be able to stop drinking and doing all this stuff because 350 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,600 it's so much fun or I'm not going to be able to praise God 351 00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,360 and do all this because I do this. 352 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,560 Like do do you struggle with that? 353 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:56,320 Because I promise you, just like this devotion says, you are 354 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,160 valuable. Jesus wants you. 355 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,880 God wants you to be a part of his Kingdom. 356 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:08,240 He wants you to use your testimony, your testimony to 357 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,920 help others. You have endured the things that 358 00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,920 you have went through and others are going through that exact 359 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:19,120 same thing. Others are living the exact same 360 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:22,600 life that you want, you once lived or you're living now and 361 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,440 God is going to use your testimony to help others. 362 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,400 That is why I'm so big about having testimonies on here 363 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:35,160 because I might have drug addicts on here. 364 00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:39,520 You know, I hate to say it like that, you know, but like people 365 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:43,280 that used to do drugs on here, people that have had 366 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:49,000 miscarriages or abortions or you know, they just have dealt 367 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,680 through so many different things. 368 00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,400 People are living the same life and they need to see that there 369 00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,320 is hope. They need to see that God can 370 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,960 use you. No matter how far gone you think 371 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:04,960 that you are, nobody is ever too far gone. 372 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,440 That God cannot help. God cannot save. 373 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,880 God cannot bring you out of that pit. 374 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:14,960 My mom's life verse is Psalms 1816. 375 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:19,160 He reached down from on high and pulled me out of deep water. 376 00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:22,240 When you feel like you are drowning, there's no way up 377 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,840 there. You have hit the bottom and then 378 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,400 you went below. He is. 379 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,360 He can reach down from on high in the heavens and rescue you, 380 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,360 but you have to give your life to Him. 381 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:36,920 You have to fully surrender. You cannot do this back and 382 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,600 forth kind of thing. Once you ask Him to be Lord of 383 00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:44,120 your life, you will start wanting to change. 384 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:48,040 You still, you still will, you know, struggle. 385 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,280 I've, I'm telling you right now, I'm struggling. 386 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,800 I've been walking with him faithfully for two years now and 387 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,840 I know people that's walk with him for 50 years and they still 388 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,840 are going to struggle. OK, Don't think that life is 389 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,840 just I'm never going to sin again. 390 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:04,800 I'm never going to do anything. You still will. 391 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:10,320 But your sins are forgiven. Your sins are forgiven as long 392 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:12,800 as you're repent and ask for forgiveness. 393 00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:18,640 Well guys, I think this is probably going to be it Today I 394 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,640 am about to go to my friends game. 395 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,920 Danny Carricker if you are listening, this is your shout 396 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,080 out girlie. I love you and I hope you get a 397 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,640 home run today. So anyway guys stay tuned, stay 398 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:33,160 blessed and I'll see you guys later. 399 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:33,960 Bye.