1 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,720 What's up, guys? My name's Alexis, your host of 2 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,640 Praises in the Pod, and I am stoked to be by myself today. 3 00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,800 It's been a while, but God's been moving. 4 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,640 He's been revealing, he's been doing all kinds of stuff in my 5 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:22,760 life. So I wanted to get on and talk 6 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,200 about it because I want to talk about the goodness of God. 7 00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:28,320 So with that, we're going to start off in prayer and then 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,640 we're going to jump right in. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 9 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,480 for today. Thank you for all your many 10 00:00:34,480 --> 00:00:36,360 blessings. Dear God, thank you for what 11 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,360 you've done in my life, what you're doing in my life, and 12 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,880 what you will do in my life. Lord, I just pray that you speak 13 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:46,040 to me and through me and ultimately let this episode 14 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,760 glorify you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen. 15 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,280 Amen guys. So like I said, he has been just 16 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,480 really revealing himself to me and moving in my life. 17 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:01,920 Let me go back to June of 2023, OK? 18 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:08,800 I came back from camp on fire to completely on fire for the Lord. 19 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,320 I instantly knew I wanted to work in ministry. 20 00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:14,440 I instantly knew I wanted to work at Southside more than I 21 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:20,320 already was, and I was ready to fully dive into that world. 22 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:25,680 But I learned as time went on, God wasn't ready for me to step 23 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,480 into those roles. Like I needed to work on myself 24 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,920 fully before I was ready to do those things. 25 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,600 And it took me a long time to get that because my feelings 26 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,560 kept getting hurt. I kept thinking like, why am I 27 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,720 not good enough? Like why this person, this 28 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,360 person? How I just let the enemy attack 29 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,640 my identity and I was putting my identity into so many other 30 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:53,320 things. But I so this has been a long 31 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,320 process of me trying to work at the church. 32 00:01:55,320 --> 00:02:00,200 Last December my pastor came up to me and offered me a social 33 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,160 media position and it was just like part time contract kind of 34 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,440 thing and I was discouraged about that. 35 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:12,040 But it has opened so many doors. Literally, I could probably cry 36 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:16,760 about how many doors this job has opened me up to and how this 37 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:21,600 has just changed my life, but at the time I couldn't see past 38 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:25,640 only social media. That's all you want me to do. 39 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,840 All you want me to do is be a poster, a scheduler. 40 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,040 It just, it just really upset me. 41 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,720 But you know what? At that point I already knew 42 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,320 that God had good plans. And I've always told myself even 43 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:45,960 BC I always was like, you cannot turn down your first anything, 44 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,920 right? Like you get invited to go hang 45 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,560 out with some friends that first time they invite you. 46 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,920 Usually if you say no, they don't really invite you back. 47 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,320 And if they do, it's a long time from then, right? 48 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,200 So I've always been that type of person that if you get offered 49 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,680 something, you say yes because, you know, you never know. 50 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,200 And so I kind of had that mentality going into it. 51 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,320 I'm like, well, if I don't accept this offer, I'll never 52 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,440 get anything else. Here we are a almost a year 53 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,440 later, I think in two weeks, it's a year later since I really 54 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,000 stepped into that role and I'm so thankful for it. 55 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,760 Anyway, that's a that's a little runaround, but throughout that 56 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:27,560 process, I have still, you know, talked to my head pastor about 57 00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,520 another job. I've talked to our executive 58 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:32,160 pastor about getting more responsibility and a different 59 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:33,760 type of job. And I just kept getting 60 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,400 discouraged. I just kept getting discouraged. 61 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,960 Well, let's run it back to June. OK, So that's all the way up 62 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,560 until pretty much now, but let's take it back to June. 63 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,840 In June, I decided to leave my corporate job. 64 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:52,240 I decided to step out on faith and completely just live off of 65 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:56,320 what I make at the church, which was remind you part time work. 66 00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:00,360 Like I'm I do not have a full time job even to today, I still 67 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,320 don't have a full time job. I have strictly been living off 68 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:07,120 of just part time work and up until then I've had a full time 69 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,920 job that I made great money and my part time job. 70 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:17,519 So this was big for me. OK, like I'm like, oh, but God 71 00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:20,079 led me in that direction. Step out and he's going to make 72 00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:22,200 it work. And I will tell you that he has 73 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:26,320 made it work every single time. I if I look at the numbers 74 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:31,760 because I'm a math person, I'm like, how in the world have I 75 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:35,080 lived this past year or this past six months? 76 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,840 But then I don't have to know the logistics of it. 77 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:42,240 God made it work. I don't have to know how the 78 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,520 numbers worked. I didn't have to know like how 79 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,360 I'm not in debt. Like it just it just happened. 80 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,760 And that just is just all about God. 81 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,920 God is Jehovah Jireh and he will provide. 82 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:57,680 Thank you Jesus. So back in June, I step out of 83 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,800 my job and I'm re and I go back in my journal actually, and I'm 84 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:08,240 talking about God. I'm going to open up my Bible to 85 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:12,320 a random spot and begin to read. When I begin to read, you're 86 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,840 going to give me a word and that word is going to let me know 87 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,560 that you want me to work at Southside, that you have a job 88 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,960 for me. Now remember, this is kind of 89 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,640 like right at the end of me quitting my job. 90 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:29,720 I think that God wants me at Southside, but I'm not 100% 91 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,320 sure. And so I'm looking for clarity 92 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:34,920 and I want to throw out a fleece. 93 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,440 This was my first real fleece that I had thrown out. 94 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,960 And so I wasn't sure how it works. 95 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,360 How do, how do you pick a password with God? 96 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,680 Right? Like, because ultimately that's 97 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:50,840 what a, that's what a fleece is. And so how do you pick that? 98 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:53,800 And I'm like, God, I don't know. So you tell me. 99 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,240 So I said, you know what? You tell me what word it is. 100 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,520 I'm going to open up this Bible and you're going to show me on 101 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,000 this page one word. I was like, you're going to show 102 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,240 me like a word that I don't know. 103 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,840 I flip open that Bible. He, he sends me to job. 104 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:11,320 What's job? JOB crazy. 105 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:12,760 OK. And I'm praying about a job. 106 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,560 I'm praying, I'm praying a fleece about a job, but he gives 107 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,320 me 4 words I don't know, 4 words I've never seen. 108 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,720 I don't know the definition. I don't know anything. 109 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,360 I've never even like heard of these words, right? 110 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:28,280 And I'm like, how do I pick one word from those? 111 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,160 I'm like, how do I pick a word? I'm still praying about it. 112 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,920 I'm like trying to figure out, you know, exactly how to go 113 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,400 about this. But I'm like, oh, hang on. 114 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,320 He's going to give me all four words when the time is right. 115 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,160 And that's what I genuinely, genuinely thought. 116 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,600 That's what I stood on for the last six months. 117 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,120 Well, a few weeks go by. My pastor, my head pastor gives 118 00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,160 me the first word, the one of one of the words. 119 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,800 He gives me it, not the one I circled, but he gives me one of 120 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,520 the words. And I said just he was, he was 121 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:20,040 teaching on stage and I'll and I just heard it and it just 122 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,600 sounded like he spoke, spoke, spoke, paused, said the word, 123 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,440 paused and finished the sentence. 124 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,400 And I knew it was for me. I said, there it is. 125 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:35,560 And what better person to hear one of these words from than 126 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,880 someone that I would be under, you know, doing ministry under 127 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,200 just just blew me away because remember, I've never heard any 128 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,000 of these words before. And no one knows these words. 129 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,440 OK, That's another big thing about fleeces. 130 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,520 No one knows anything about this. 131 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:56,200 Like you can tell somebody I have a fleece thrown out, but 132 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,560 you never say I'm looking for this. 133 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,040 I am seeking God to hear this, this and this. 134 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,440 I have it only solely written down in my journal and it's just 135 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,840 between me and God. And that's why I kind of called 136 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,760 it a passcode because it's like when I, I know that God spoke to 137 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,600 me, he's going to use that term. Time goes on, I don't hear 138 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,680 another word. I still haven't felt anything 139 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,360 about this job. It just seems like nothing, you 140 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,440 know, just nothing's coming about. 141 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,680 I'm, I start to see God because I'm like God. 142 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:30,280 I'm tired of not like having a full time position here. 143 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,880 Like is this even what you've called me to do was I'm making 144 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:38,000 up this in my head and trying to make it fit because I because I 145 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,240 just want to be there or you're not calling me to be there. 146 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,400 So I start seeking seeking seeking. 147 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:48,400 I began reading and he gave me another word just right when I'm 148 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,680 getting discouraged and I need another word, he gives me 149 00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:54,000 another one. And I realized that that's one 150 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,840 of the reasons he gave me 4 words was because he knew that 151 00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:03,120 in this time span of me waiting for this job, I was going to get 152 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:06,200 discouraged. I was going to seek him for 153 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:09,320 answers and I wasn't sure about the fleece. 154 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,760 So he went ahead and gave me 4 words that I can look to him and 155 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,680 find and he was going to give me clarity as time went on. 156 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:20,040 Thank you Jesus, because that one, that one was a tough one 157 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,880 because I was like, I really think I need to apply and do 158 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,920 other jobs. Like my flesh was winning at 159 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,320 this point. And I was about to like step out 160 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,480 from me stepping out like I was, no, I was going to step back in. 161 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,160 I had stepped out on faith, but I was going to step back. 162 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,440 I was going to step back into that worldly and not believe 163 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,160 that God had me. Our young adult director did a 164 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:46,760 message months and months ago and he said worry is a monetary 165 00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:49,880 atheism because you lacked faith in God. 166 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,360 And ever since then, like I've stood on that because anytime I 167 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:57,520 catch myself worrying, anytime I catch myself like stressed about 168 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:00,160 the future or something, I'm like, oh, wait a minute. 169 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,040 I'm not putting my faith in God. I'm not believing that God is 170 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:06,080 moving in my life. I'm not believing that he's 171 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,440 going to do that. And I remember that that's 172 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,560 monetary atheism that got me. OK, so anyway, back to what I 173 00:10:13,560 --> 00:10:15,680 was saying. So he gave me all these words 174 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,440 and then I still haven't heard. I've not gotten another word 175 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,200 since. Ah, have just been struggling 176 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:26,720 for the last like month or so. Like I'm like, OK, it's the end 177 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,280 of the year. Like surely we're going on one 178 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,960 year. Me doing the social media, I've 179 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,520 kind of talked in passing with my head pastor and he said we 180 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:37,000 were, but then I haven't heard anything else and I'm like, Oh 181 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,240 my goodness, like what is going on? 182 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,960 I finally talked to my head pastor and he said me and our 183 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,840 executive pastor have gotten together. 184 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,800 We are going to move forward with your position in January. 185 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:54,760 But the money is not great. And he flat out was like, you're 186 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,640 not going to like be happy pretty much about this money. 187 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:01,800 But it's a start. And I'm going to be honest in 188 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,600 the moment, I'm like, oh, it is a start. 189 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,520 It is a start. Yes, that's great. 190 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,840 It's OK. It's going to work out. 191 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,560 Like he's provided all the way. Like I'm good. 192 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:14,760 It's not a lot, but it's good. The enemy started attacking me 193 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,280 instantly from that meeting. I literally left that meeting 194 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,080 with him that was kind of just in passing. 195 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,520 It wasn't like a sit down or anything. 196 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,600 It was just like a meeting in passing and the enemy beat me up 197 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,480 for the next week. For the next week, that's all I 198 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:31,760 thought about was that money. That's all I thought about was 199 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,720 this is what I've waited almost two years for. 200 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,160 Like I have literally waited for this. 201 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:43,600 I was so discouraged. I was, I, I genuinely was so 202 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,960 discouraged. I thought about like when I go 203 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,680 and talk to our executive pastor that does our contracts and 204 00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,720 stuff like that. Like I was going to try to 205 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,160 negotiate and I was like going to bring all this stuff. 206 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,440 And I was like going to try to flip the script. 207 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:59,120 Like, OK, well, what about this, this and this and caught myself 208 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:03,320 just getting kind of like more discouraged as the days went on 209 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,560 and I wasn't in a good place about it. 210 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,560 I was not in a good place about it, but I was still seeking the 211 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,080 Lord. Trust me, I was still seeking 212 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:12,520 the Lord. I've done asked the Lord. 213 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,960 I said, please God, the time is now. 214 00:12:17,120 --> 00:12:19,200 The time is now. If I'm supposed to be at South 215 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:20,680 side, send me one of those words. 216 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:25,760 If I am supposed to be there also, God give me the number I'm 217 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:31,200 supposed to negotiate with, like to counter what they were going 218 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,920 to give me, Give me that. Or if you have something totally 219 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,000 different, like let me know, right? 220 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:41,680 So I'm praying that for about four or five days, every single 221 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:46,320 time he gives any type of number whatsoever, Like I got, I got 222 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:50,520 like some other, I don't even remember the numbers that I got, 223 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,720 but I try to add it. I tried to add them up and it 224 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:56,320 became less than what they asked me for. 225 00:12:56,320 --> 00:13:00,120 And I'm like, wait a minute. No, no, no, no, that don't work. 226 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,920 That don't work. And then like he gave me some 227 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,760 other numbers and like, I was just trying to figure something 228 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,440 out. I was trying to make whatever he 229 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:12,720 gave me in the Bible work for what I wanted it to work. 230 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,440 I made a tick tock about this. And I said, it's hard to hear 231 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:18,120 God's voice when you've already decided what you wanted him to 232 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,240 say. And truly, that was me. 233 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,040 That was me. I was already making my mind up 234 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,800 that one, you do want me to work out Southside, and two, you're 235 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,440 about to give me that exact number of what I need to, you 236 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,160 know, do. And that's all I was looking 237 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,920 for. Every single time I would read a 238 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:38,720 sentence, I'm looking for that word that means go to Southside. 239 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,680 And then I'm looking for this. I'm not even comprehending 240 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:48,480 anything else. So that goes on and I'm just 241 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,560 continuously praying and just seeking him and just really, 242 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:56,280 really, really looking for an answer because like I said, I'm 243 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:58,920 discouraged. I'm discouraged about the money. 244 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:03,400 The money and God's already proven to me the last six months 245 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:06,320 that He always provides. So that's just crazy. 246 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:13,480 Well, on December 27th, I prayed in my journal and I said, God, 247 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,800 if you have something else for me besides the church, it's 248 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:22,920 going to fall in my lap. OK, As crazy as it sounds, I'm 249 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,720 not reaching out to anybody. I'm not applying anywhere. 250 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,880 I'm not sending my resume anywhere. 251 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,720 I'm not doing anything. I strictly want you to let them 252 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,800 reach out to me and it's going to fall in my lap. 253 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:44,360 OK, so that was the 27th, The 28th I'm reading in Psalms and I 254 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:50,040 ended up reading like 30 psalms. And I'm like OK, like surely 255 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,520 he's going to give me one of these words because at this 256 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,320 point I had already said there's 2 words left. 257 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:01,800 One means I work at Southside and one means I go find another 258 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,680 job. Like no matter what that looks 259 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:07,320 like, you'll lead me where that is, but you're going to show me 260 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:12,280 like one or the other. And so I open up my Bible. 261 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:13,960 I'm reading in Psalms 30 chapters. 262 00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:16,960 I'm like, surely in those thirty chapters, he's going to give me 263 00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,800 one of these words. Well, he didn't, he didn't. 264 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:23,520 And I was like, wow. You know, like as much as I have 265 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:26,920 been praying about this, I thought, I thought this was it. 266 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,080 Like it just felt like in that reading how I just couldn't stop 267 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,640 and I just kept going. It just felt like that was 268 00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:37,680 that's what was going to happen. Well, as I finish, I said, you 269 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,440 know what? I don't even know what these two 270 00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:44,160 words mean. I still do not have a clear 271 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,080 meaning of the words. I don't even really know what 272 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,600 context they would be used in. Like let me look it up. 273 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,760 And so I'll look them up. I'll look up the first word, 274 00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:56,800 blase, blase, right? And then I'll look up the second 275 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:03,000 word and it says that that word was in Psalms, one of the Psalms 276 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:07,240 that I read. And I said, there is no way I 277 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,600 was just reading those. There's no way that that word 278 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,680 was in there. I go look in my Bible and surely 279 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:16,920 it was not a different translation had that word, my 280 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:20,000 Bible didn't. And so then I start tussling 281 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,600 with, well, God didn't want me to get that word. 282 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:27,160 And if he did want me to get that word, it would have been in 283 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,880 my translation. And it's so hard because in this 284 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,640 moment, I don't have good discernment about it. 285 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:35,640 I don't know if I was supposed to find that word or vice versa. 286 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:39,040 And you just allow yourself to talk yourself out of miracles, 287 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,360 basically. So that's where I was. 288 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,560 And I still wasn't sure until the very next day. 289 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:48,240 And I go, and I was talking to my mom about it and I was just 290 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,400 kind of breaking it down. And I was like, you know what? 291 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:54,680 But God could have used that other word the same way that he 292 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,080 used that word. That other word could have been 293 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,120 in another translation. That other word that told me to 294 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,480 go a different direction could have been the one that I was 295 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:06,920 supposed to read in Psalms. It was like, so it was just, and 296 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,920 that was the word that says about Southside. 297 00:17:10,599 --> 00:17:14,160 OK, so at this point I'm starting to, I'm like, you know 298 00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,319 what I did? I did, I was supposed to get 299 00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:21,160 that word. I get a call from a guy and he's 300 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,200 like, I just want to run something by you. 301 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,520 I really want to expand my business. 302 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,920 The only way I can expand my business is if I allow someone 303 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,760 to come in and kind of help me and do side gigs with me and 304 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,840 like, you know, projects, maybe run some social stuff like that. 305 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,560 And he was like, and you came to mind and I want to know if that 306 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,120 is something that you would be interested in. 307 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:48,520 And while I'm doing this, try to this, this expansion, while I'm 308 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:52,560 doing this expansion and while I'm trying to get an idea, 309 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,680 should I work you into these plans? 310 00:17:56,560 --> 00:18:01,080 Bro, I literally, I, I literally kept my cool at this point. 311 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:06,480 Like I was like absolutely, 100%, you know, and we just 312 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,120 talked and when we got off the phone, I just literally fell to 313 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,480 the floor. And if he hears this, he's going 314 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,120 to be like, she's so dramatic. But I literally fell to the 315 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,880 floor because he reached out to me. 316 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,800 I didn't seek anything. I didn't do anything. 317 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:25,800 I literally just sat and and I was still and I was allowing God 318 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,040 to move and more reveal himself to me. 319 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:35,480 And four days after I wrote that in my journal, I got a call from 320 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:40,520 somebody that I'll look up to in the creative field, asking me to 321 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:43,080 partner with him to do some side gigs. 322 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,960 And he's like, you know, you can, you know, still do your 323 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,200 stuff at the church and then just help me, you know, on the 324 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,920 side or whatever. And that just gave me full 325 00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:54,520 clarity of, yes, you are supposed to be at work. 326 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,000 You are supposed to work at the church. 327 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:01,880 And God is going to provide in those other ways to make up the 328 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:09,200 financial lacking, I guess, of what I was looking for. 329 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:15,000 And so that was just so big. That was genuinely so big. 330 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,000 And like I said, I really hope that more has come about because 331 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:22,680 like, I feel like I'm kind of speaking too soon about things, 332 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:25,280 but I know that this episode isn't coming out for a little 333 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:29,120 bit. So I just want to say today is 334 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:33,400 Jan One, today's Jan one. It's a new day, it's a new year. 335 00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:37,960 It's, you know, so when this comes out, I think it's like Jan 336 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:42,040 22. So hopefully some other things 337 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,120 have come right. But you know, that just proved 338 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,960 to me that God will always provide. 339 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:52,520 God always does come through. He literally as crazy as that 340 00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:56,760 prayer sounded like, if I'm not out seeking a job, if I'm not 341 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,800 out applying other places, how am I going to get something 342 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,000 else? He literally had someone call 343 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:05,920 me. And then the other part, as I'm 344 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:10,320 sitting here thinking, I don't know if any of y'all, some of 345 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,800 y'all might follow me on TikTok. That's listen to this. 346 00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:16,800 But also you would have saw that a few weeks ago I got a call 347 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:22,040 from Mercer and they asked me to come photograph some of their 348 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,360 games and just like help them throughout the holiday season. 349 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:28,840 And so I went and did women's basketball. 350 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,960 I absolutely loved it. I loved it. 351 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:35,200 Like the speed of it was just amazing. 352 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,640 Like I was just running like all around. 353 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,240 I was trying to get different aspects. 354 00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,280 I was like, literally I loved it. 355 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:46,160 I loved every moment of it. And so I was like, oh, that was 356 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:49,560 a one time gig, like whatever. So then they, you know, let me 357 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:51,120 know they were like, you did a great job today. 358 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:55,880 We'd love to have you back on Jan one to shoot another game 359 00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,560 and I'm just like, that is so amazing. 360 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,040 So here is another opportunity to do something that I've really 361 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:06,560 enjoyed and really had fun with and it pays. 362 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:10,960 That's a big plus. And so like, that was another 363 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,400 thing that God's like, look, look at all the doors that I'm 364 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:18,440 going to continue to open if you continue one to seek me because 365 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:22,320 if I stop continuing to seek him and I just think that this is 366 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,800 all self-made, he will strip that from me. 367 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,480 He he will take this from me because this is literally what 368 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,880 he's given me. This is what he's done in my 369 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,560 life. And this is the fruits and the 370 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:40,640 harvest of me being faithful to him and me really walking it out 371 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,960 with him. I did not make any of this for 372 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,280 myself. My mom didn't make any of this 373 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,960 for myself. She literally pushed me to God. 374 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:55,000 I took those seeds that she had planted and started watering 375 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:59,440 them myself. And now God is allowing me to 376 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:04,560 live a life that I love. As I just sit here and I just 377 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:10,680 really think about 2024. It truly was a year of growth. 378 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:15,320 And so many times we really do want so much growth in our year, 379 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,760 right? You can't continue to live the 380 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,640 life that you're living today. If you want better for yourself, 381 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,400 you have to make changes. You have to like, even if it's 382 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:28,520 something small like maybe waking up 30 minutes earlier 383 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,560 than your alarm so that you can spend time with Jesus or you 384 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:38,200 know, staying up later or maybe start eating different because 385 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,840 stuff is a domino effect. If you start doing better in 386 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,760 this, you'll probably start doing better in other areas too. 387 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:52,040 When you surrender to God and you really seek Him, He will 388 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,640 answer. He will answer, He will provide, 389 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,000 He will heal, He will give you peace. 390 00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:03,640 He will give you the things that you truly desire and the things 391 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,120 that are in His will and the things that are better than what 392 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,640 you could ever imagine. Ever imagine. 393 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,280 Because today I share it on Facebook and you know what? 394 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:20,040 I'm actually going to read it. OK, so on January 31st, I posted 395 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:23,000 this picture of me and three girlfriends. 396 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:28,280 And I remember this night so, so clearly. 397 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:34,600 But this was the caption of it. 2017 was by far the hardest year 398 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,920 of my life. I was headed down a scary path. 399 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,080 I didn't have confidence anymore in myself. 400 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,400 I didn't have a relationship with God. 401 00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,280 Four months ago I told myself enough is enough. 402 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,840 I began to work out, eat healthier, stopped getting 403 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:53,120 blackout drunk, and really started becoming close with God. 404 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:58,560 I went into 2017 letting a man control my happiness, always 405 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,640 feeling like I'm walking on egg shells and believing that I 406 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:05,480 wasn't good enough. I don't have a list of 407 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:09,200 resolutions for 2018. The only thing I want out of 408 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,240 2018 is pure happiness, success, and passion. 409 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,000 I got to bring in the new year with some of my favorite people 410 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,160 and people that make me strive to do better. 411 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:24,080 That's all I could really ask for as I reflected on that post. 412 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:28,360 I remember that person that I was in 2017, and it wasn't a 413 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,000 good person. It was not a good person at all. 414 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:37,840 I was severely almost, you know, I mean, even in the post right 415 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,240 then and there, you see that I already acknowledged that I was 416 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,920 getting blackout drunk a lot, that I was going down a terrible 417 00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:47,320 path. I already acknowledged those 418 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,800 things and I wanted different, but I wasn't ready to surrender 419 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,320 my life to Him. I wasn't ready to quit drinking 420 00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,440 completely. Notice I said I didn't quit 421 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:57,680 drinking. I said I stopped getting 422 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:00,520 blackout drunk. That didn't last. 423 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:05,000 That didn't last because I wasn't doing it in His name. 424 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,520 I was doing it just because I was just trying to get sober. 425 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,200 The life that I Live Today isn't. 426 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,840 I just got sober. I got Jesus. 427 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:20,040 That's the defining moment of when my life truly changed was I 428 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,440 stopped trying to just get sober and do things better and be a 429 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,280 better person. I started seeking the Lord and 430 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:32,080 started doing things for Him to glorify Him, to bring glory to 431 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,480 His name. I stopped doing it to make 432 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,640 Alexis look good, and I started doing it to make my father look 433 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,680 good. This is what He's done for me in 434 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,200 my life, and He can do it for you too. 435 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,320 But you have to surrender to His will. 436 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,480 You have to continue to seek Him. 437 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:50,520 You have to get into Your Word. There's a lot of people out 438 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:54,960 there and they'll say, you know, like I'm close with God and I, 439 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,240 you know, and go to church and I do this and I do that, and I'm 440 00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,640 trying to live in his will. Are you reading his word? 441 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,520 Are you looking for him to give you an answer? 442 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:10,520 Are you looking to him to speak? How do you expect him to speak 443 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:19,120 if you're not in his word, if you're not going to church? 444 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:22,400 No, people are like you don't have to go to church to have a 445 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,800 relationship with Jesus. No, but he does call us to 446 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,000 gather. He calls us not to be in 447 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,200 isolation. He calls us to be a part of a 448 00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:32,240 community. How do you get those things? 449 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,920 You go to church, you join a small group, you begin to serve. 450 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:39,480 2025 should be a year of saying yes. 451 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,600 That is what changed my life was starting to say yes. 452 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,520 And that's what can change yours. 453 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,040 But you have to start with one simple yes, and you have to 454 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:50,600 allow God to live in your heart. You have to ask Him to be your 455 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,360 Lord and your Savior, not just your Savior. 456 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:57,320 You can't expect Him just to come save your life and not make 457 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,080 any changes. You have to mean it with your 458 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:04,520 whole heart and know that He is the Lord above all else. 459 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,240 He is the King of kings and He will change your life. 460 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,760 So I think that's a great place to pretty much end for today. 461 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:18,440 I, I would love to talk more. If you are considering and 462 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:23,040 you're on the fence and you want more from your life, you truly 463 00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,560 are ready to make a change. You're tired of being tired. 464 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:29,240 You're tired of being sick and tired. 465 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,040 You're constantly feeling depressed. 466 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:33,960 Your anxiety is through the roof. 467 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,400 You're tired of drinking alcohol every single day. 468 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,400 You're tired of blacking out, not remembering, and tired of 469 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:45,000 living this life. I would love to talk more. 470 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,600 I would love to try to lead you to a better life and the only 471 00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:53,160 way it's not me. I can't lead you to a better 472 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,560 life, but I can introduce you to someone that can. 473 00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,320 So please reach out to me. My Instagram handles are all 474 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,640 praises in the pod. My e-mail is 475 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:09,800 praisesinthepod@gmail.com. Please, a better life is waiting 476 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,000 for you. And I promise you, I promise you 477 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:19,840 that if you fully surrender your life to God, He will change you 478 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,840 and save you. But you have to surrender. 479 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,040 And I will bet on that and I will bet on that. 480 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:31,640 So guys, I'm super excited to continue this journey with you 481 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:38,160 and I'm blessed that I'm just overwhelmed that God literally 482 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,920 has given me this podcast to steward. 483 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,680 This is all his podcast. This is 100% him. 484 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,120 I truly want this to be Holy Spirit led and I want this to 485 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,200 continue. So I think we're actually at six 486 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,440 months. And if you remember, I said at 487 00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,440 the very beginning of this that I wanted to give God six months 488 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,600 devoted to this podcast. And I've done that and I don't 489 00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,280 see it ending sight. I do not see it ending sight. 490 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,360 I actually just got some new equipment. 491 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,440 I'm I'm going to order some new stuff. 492 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:11,680 So and I got big things coming. Stay tuned, stay blessed and 493 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,360 we'll see you next week. Bye, guys.