1 00:00:09,900 --> 00:00:12,180 What's up, guys? My name's Alexis, your host with 2 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:15,460 praises in the pod, and I'm so excited to be in the studio by 3 00:00:15,460 --> 00:00:17,620 myself today. We're going to be catching up 4 00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:21,380 about some things, talking about some things, and just honestly, 5 00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:24,140 I don't know where all this episode is going to take us. 6 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:27,180 So we're just going to have to sit back, chillax, and figure 7 00:00:27,180 --> 00:00:29,380 out where the Lord wants to take this conversation. 8 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:31,300 We're going to start off in prayer and then we're going to 9 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,380 jump right in. So here we go. 10 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,440 Lord Heavenly Father, thank you for your goodness, thank you for 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,960 your faithfulness and what all you continue to do in my life. 12 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,120 Lord God, you are so welcome in this space. 13 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,600 You are your presence. I just wish would fill this 14 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:50,120 place every single time I walk in, every single time we have a 15 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,400 guest in the studio. Lord God, I just pray that you 16 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,680 always speak to me, you always speak through me and you always 17 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,560 are glorified through this podcast. 18 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:03,040 Thank you for all that you are doing in my life, in others 19 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:07,200 lives around me. Lord God, you are so so amazing 20 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,960 and good and I'm just so thankful that I know you. 21 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,400 In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 22 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,000 Amen guys. So let's get it poppin. 23 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:20,480 Opportunities to see God popped off on TikTok, OK? 24 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:26,840 Like that video has completely changed the trajectory. 25 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:31,320 I wouldn't really necessarily say the trajectory because God 26 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:36,720 was going to do it regardless, but it has truly changed the 27 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:42,040 podcast as a whole. My TikTok platform, whatever, 28 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:47,720 whatever it is like boomed overnight now. 29 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:50,200 Now don't give me, don't get crazy. 30 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:53,360 Now I'm not saying like I got 100,000 followers or anything, 31 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,760 but literally like in a week I had like 10,000 and then in 10 32 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,600 more days after that I had like another 5000. 33 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:07,600 So like when I say one video can change anything, that's what's 34 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,600 so crazy because I went on there, I was open and honest. 35 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:16,080 If you have listened to like 2 episodes before that, I was 36 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,480 talking about not doing the solo episodes anymore. 37 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:25,600 I was literally telling myself like, oh, they just, I, I hate 38 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:29,760 hearing myself talk for 45 minutes, 20 minutes, whatever 39 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,640 the length of the video is or the podcast is. 40 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,600 I said that on the previous podcast. 41 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:39,200 I started working through it. I'm like kind of praying about 42 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:43,280 it, talking to other people about it and just kind of 43 00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:46,960 deciding like, OK, after one year, I'm probably going to drop 44 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,440 this episode. OK. 45 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:54,080 The very next time I record by myself, the video gets like 46 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:59,320 300,000 views of women pouring in the comments about how they 47 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:04,160 are in an unequally yoked marriage or relationship or just 48 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,200 all these different things. And I'm like, holy crap. 49 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,280 Like I was not. I was not expecting that. 50 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,120 OK? That just like was God speaking 51 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:17,840 to me. Like do not stop having those 52 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:24,600 monologue episodes just because I felt like they were stupid or 53 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,480 nobody really cared for them. They were impactful. 54 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,960 Like somebody is taking something away from what I have 55 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:37,440 said in those past episodes and just because the views are lower 56 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:39,200 or something. It was never supposed to be 57 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:43,480 about the views anyway. The whole thing was I went to a 58 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:47,400 conference in Louisiana, I went to the low conference and Maddie 59 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,240 Pruitt was there and they were talking about if it's one viewer 60 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,320 or 100,000 viewers, like this is for you and your relationship 61 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,480 with God. And so I've stood on that. 62 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,360 Like I truly have stood on that. I never get down about the 63 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:03,120 views. Now I will be getting up if they 64 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:09,280 are popping off, but I I just started thinking more about the 65 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,280 views and how they were lower than the other ones and blah 66 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,840 blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's not what it's 67 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:16,959 supposed to be about. Like I know that. 68 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,279 So I'm going to continue to do them. 69 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,560 I hope you don't mind. One of the biggest things that 70 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,840 has just been such a answered prayer is obviously my husband 71 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,320 coming to Christ. And I'm not going to talk about 72 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,560 it or harp on it very long because the past few episodes I 73 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,080 have done by myself. I have talked about that, but 74 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:41,000 it's new and me sharing about me and my husbands marriage and 75 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:44,680 where we are today and the things that we have encountered 76 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,360 and the things that we have went through. 77 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:49,440 It helps people. It literally gives other women 78 00:04:49,440 --> 00:04:55,800 hope for what they could have, what is possible when their 79 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,000 husband surrenders. And even though it doesn't look 80 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:02,440 like your husband's going to surrender, I never once thought 81 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:08,160 that me and my husband would do a big project like this or me 82 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,360 and my husband join a life group. 83 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,080 Yes, you heard me right. OK, me and my husband went to 84 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,120 the life group for the first time last week. 85 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,480 Life group, small group, small gathering. 86 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,920 You know, I think all churches have them. 87 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,280 You know, I'm still new to this. I'm two years into this 88 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:28,040 Christian walk and this is my first time actually joining a 89 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,520 life group. I used to lead a kids life 90 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:36,000 group, small group, and that was awesome. 91 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:39,680 And so I never joined my own life group because I kept 92 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:43,920 waiting. Why I couldn't tell you at the 93 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,920 beginning. I was gone like at the beginning 94 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,560 of my two years of coming to Christ, right? 95 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:54,800 What this looks like I've started going on Sunday nights 96 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,640 to our middle school ministry and that's where I LED a small 97 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:01,720 group. And then on Wednesdays once a 98 00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:05,280 month, we had young adults. I was already aged out. 99 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:08,480 But when you first come to Christ, like you crave his 100 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,640 presence more than you would ever like understand, like you 101 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,040 just have just recently found him, right? 102 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:19,520 And then you hear from him and so you're just always chasing 103 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,920 that. And so every single time the 104 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:25,080 doors were open, I was beating them down like ready to go to 105 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,680 church. And so that and then Thursday 106 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,640 night I was always at Celebrate Recovery and then Sunday, you 107 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:37,520 know, morning I'm at church. So three nights out of the week 108 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:42,240 I'm already pretty much at church at some .0 and I did a 12 109 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,680 step which is on Monday. So Sunday, Monday, sometimes 110 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:50,480 Wednesday and Thursday I was at the church and so I did not want 111 00:06:50,480 --> 00:06:54,440 to sign up for a life group and I was already gone from my home 112 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,320 so many different times. Like Greg already hated that I 113 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,320 was always at church. So now adding on a life group on 114 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,240 another night, it just didn't really seem feasible. 115 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,400 It was probably going to make my home life a lot worse if I did 116 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,560 go to another church event on a night. 117 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,400 And if you're going through something like that, I am so 118 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,480 sorry. Like that is so, so hard because 119 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,000 you do want to join those things. 120 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,320 You want to be part of a community, You want to just go 121 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:28,080 be around like minded people. And I just had to like take a 122 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:31,200 step back and be like, this is just one thing I, I'm just, I 123 00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:35,600 can't do right now. But then my 12 step ended. 124 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,000 I graduated from my 12 step class and that was a Monday 125 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,880 night being freed up. And that's what I said I was 126 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,600 like after I finished my 12 step class, then I'll replace it with 127 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,280 life group. I never did that. 128 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,080 And I kept telling my best friend Abby, y'all know Abby, 129 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,200 what am I talking about? I was telling Abby I was like, 130 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:55,080 I'm going to join y'all's life group so then I can start 131 00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,480 coming. And once Greg is saved. 132 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,280 I always proclaimed it in Jesus name. 133 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:06,640 Once Greg is saved, not if not maybe one day when he's saved. 134 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:11,280 I said when Greg gets saved and wants to start coming to church, 135 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:12,880 I'm already a part of y'all's life group. 136 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:18,080 I never did that. But but, but, but, but, but I 137 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,960 talked to him more so about it and I was like, Hey, we're going 138 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,200 to Pat's house, which is our Celebrate Recovery pastor. 139 00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:28,960 We're going to his house on Wednesday for dinner and life 140 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:33,520 group. And he was like, no, like y'all, 141 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,320 he's still newly, you know, on this side of Christ and he's 142 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,039 like, no, for what? Like why are we going over 143 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:38,480 there? Whatever. 144 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,559 And I was like, this is just what you do. 145 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:43,480 This is this is how you get part of a community that you're 146 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:48,320 around other like minded people that you can grow and hold 147 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,960 people accountable, them hold you accountable and just start 148 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,200 really, you know, building your friendships up. 149 00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,680 And so I mentioned it one time and y'all, we went a life group 150 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,720 and so it was absolutely incredible. 151 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,840 On the way there I literally was almost crying like I took a 152 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,920 picture of us and like was like have to document our first time 153 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:13,160 going to life group. That was such an answered prayer 154 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,160 because I never once thought that my husband would join a 155 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,440 life group. Never once did I think that he 156 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:21,480 would start going to church with me every single Thursday. 157 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:25,240 Never once did I think that he would help me with this project 158 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:31,040 of the wall. OK, very transparent here. 159 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:36,040 The first studio that I did well the first few episodes, if you 160 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,840 go back and watch, I am so sorry. 161 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,840 Like I want to delete those episodes so bad because they're 162 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,720 so awful. Like they're not awful. 163 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,920 They're not awful. Let me take that back. 164 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:52,960 That was me being very vulnerable, very just trying to 165 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:57,960 figure out why this podcast thing was so heavy on my heart. 166 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:05,600 I was just like being obedient and so it's just it's if you 167 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:11,160 start at pilot episode or episode 1, thank you so much for 168 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:14,760 staying for episode 45. Thank you. 169 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:19,040 Thank you anyway. So I make my first few episodes 170 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:22,040 at the church and then I decide I wasn't inside. 171 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,840 I prayed about it and talk to our student pastor and 172 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,160 everything else and move the podcast home. 173 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,760 And so me and my husband were truly going through it at that 174 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,080 point very badly, Very, very badly. 175 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:40,440 I did the whole room by myself. He did help me like with one or 176 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,000 two small things just because I couldn't do those. 177 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,000 But we weren't in a great place where he could help me with 178 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,360 those. And so I remember being so angry 179 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,280 almost with God. I'm be honest, like I was angry, 180 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,440 I was upset. I remember crying in the other 181 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:02,960 studio like painting the walls like like I'm walking into this 182 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:07,640 new chapter right of I'm, I'm really going all in about this 183 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,160 podcast. I'm really giving God my all for 184 00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:12,680 the next 6 months because that's what it started as. 185 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:17,280 I wanted to do this podcast, no doubt for six months and give 186 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:20,880 God my all, hold me accountable for getting in the word and 187 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:26,240 growing and just helping others. I'm walking into that chapter, 188 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,680 so I'm happy. I have joy about it because I 189 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:33,360 have joy from the Lord that never waivers, right? 190 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,840 Like joy doesn't come and go through Christ. 191 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,760 We will always be joyful because that's one of the fruit, but 192 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,560 that's part of the fruit. I don't really know how to say 193 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:45,320 that that well, but it's one of the fruit because there's only 194 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:50,680 one fruit. So yeah, anyway, the joy was 195 00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,960 still there, but I was so upset because I'm painting a room by 196 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,360 myself, doing these things by myself. 197 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:03,400 But in that week long process of painting and putting together 198 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,960 furniture and just being in that space and cleaning and doing all 199 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:11,320 this, it had me spending so much time with God. 200 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,360 Like it had me crying. I remember being on my knees 201 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:18,520 just worshipping and just like crying out to him. 202 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,640 Like Lord, save him and change him. 203 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,680 But bless this new chapter, keep me joyful, keep me being 204 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:28,600 obedient. Don't ever let me take my eyes 205 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:32,040 off of you during this time. Like even though the enemy 206 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:35,880 wanted me to be so mad at God and not continue because I 207 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:39,480 didn't have a husband that was equally yoked as me, that's what 208 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,840 he wanted. But I chose to stay at fast, 209 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,960 remain in what God had promised me. 210 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:50,640 And I knew that if I stayed firm, Greg was going to come to 211 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,000 Christ. Like he didn't have no choice. 212 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,280 OK. But in that season, it's just, I 213 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:02,320 go to say all of that to if you're in the mess, right, 214 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,600 you're going through it, you're down bad. 215 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:11,400 You don't understand why you're in the position that you're in 216 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:18,160 right now. Push through, continue, continue 217 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:23,160 to lean on God, continue to seek him, continue to praise him. 218 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,280 Think about what he's done. We just talked about this with 219 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,600 some of my friends, but it's like we always forget the 220 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:35,640 miracles that God has done, like he parted the Red Sea and still 221 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:39,400 all those people would forget. They forgot like I did, like it 222 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,920 never even happened. We do the same exact thing 223 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:46,320 today. God is a miracle working God. 224 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,680 He still does miracles to this day and we forget regularly 225 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,760 because that's what the enemy wants us to do. 226 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,280 He wants us to forget. He wants us to doubt what God 227 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,280 has done in our lives and turn it, well, you could have it 228 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,120 better. You could do this. 229 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:03,240 Why is it going better for them? Why didn't you get that 230 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:05,400 promotion? Why don't you have that 231 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,760 marriage? Why haven't you had the baby? 232 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,160 You could think of all of those things and they can all, you 233 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,720 know, be valid things. Like sometimes we think like 234 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,640 that. But that's your flesh. 235 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,280 That's not your spirit, OK? So make sure that when you do 236 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:22,720 have those, you start seeking God right then and there. 237 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:30,040 God is not a small God, OK? God is bigger than your anger 238 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,040 and he is bigger than your problems and all this stuff. 239 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,840 Give it to him. That's why he gives us these 240 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,480 things. He gives us these things, so we 241 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,960 literally turn around and give it right back to Him. 242 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,280 I said that in another podcast, like about me. 243 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:46,920 That's what got my attention. That's what made me start 244 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:51,400 seeking God because I was going through it with infertility with 245 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,160 me and my husband on top of all the things too. 246 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:58,560 Like I was going through the wringer and I turned around and 247 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:03,160 sought God and he spoke to me. He specifically said children 248 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,000 born of not natural descent or human decision or a husband's 249 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:09,800 will, but born of God. He said that to me. 250 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:14,320 You will literally start realizing you're in this season 251 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,440 for a reason. Oh, that's bars. 252 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,840 That's bars right there. Hang on, you're in this season 253 00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,240 for a reason, because God is going to use it. 254 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,280 He is going to use this season that you're in to be part of 255 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,960 your testimony. Every single day is part of your 256 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:33,960 testimony. So I, I ask this more recently, 257 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:39,360 like are you going to be Jonah waiting for the perfect time to 258 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,600 give it in, to give it all to God? 259 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,040 Or are you going to be like Noah? 260 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:48,880 And even though it looks crazy, you're still going to go for it, 261 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,480 you're still going to do it. You're still going to be 262 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:53,680 obedient. Literally. 263 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:56,440 Noah looked crazy until he wasn't crazy. 264 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,120 I think that speaks volume. OK? 265 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:05,680 Because I remember when I first came to Christ, I looked crazy 266 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:09,400 to so many people. I know these folks were like, 267 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:12,600 what is she on? But you know what? 268 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,680 I looked crazy until I wasn't crazy. 269 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,480 And now those people are starting to experience God and 270 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:22,840 they understand because once you experience God, once you're in 271 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:27,880 God's presence, OK, you crave that presence. 272 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:34,960 There's something about like reading that Bible and you come 273 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,120 across something that speaks to you and your spirit, and you 274 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,880 know that God is speaking to you. 275 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:47,200 That is something that I literally crave. 276 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,120 I literally crave it. And before my husband got sick, 277 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,720 I remember that night, I literally said, God, I need you 278 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:59,080 to speak loudly. I need you to speak so bold that 279 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,040 Greg doesn't doubt it, that he does not doubt anything in his 280 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:06,680 mind that you are real and you are who I say you are and who 281 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:08,520 you say you are, most importantly. 282 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:12,040 But I need you to come on in, OK? 283 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:16,359 I need you to come bring the reinforcements because I need 284 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:20,280 you to be big for him. When God literally spoke to Greg 285 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,240 that night and I started reading that passage, I don't even think 286 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,640 I could read the whole passage because I was like 287 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,920 hyperventilating because I was like, he is speaking to Greg 288 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,840 right now. Like he is speaking to him. 289 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,840 He is being so bold to Greg and that is literally what I had 290 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,160 been praying. I actually went to dinner with 291 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,920 one of my girlfriends and she said that she has tried to open 292 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:48,720 up the Bible and have God speak and she's like, what's going on? 293 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,360 Because he didn't speak like that. 294 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:57,960 And it is very, very hard. You truly have to be seeking him 295 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:02,840 for specific things. Not specific as in like, oh, 296 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:07,040 it's he only talks to you if you're talking about infertility 297 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,200 or husbands or like, no, that's not what I'm saying. 298 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,640 I'm saying like you have to continuously seek him. 299 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,760 Sometimes you open up a Bible and he's like, boom, the words 300 00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,680 are jumping out of the page at you. 301 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:22,040 And then other Times Now listen, I've opened my Bible before and 302 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:28,400 I just read and I'm like God, like hello, are you going to 303 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,400 answer? Are you going to tell me like 304 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:32,800 you've done this for me before? Why aren't you doing it for me 305 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:36,440 now? But I actually just thought 306 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,440 about this. If He gives us the answer every 307 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,880 single time we open the Bible, we're only going to open the 308 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,920 Bible when we need something. Oh, that just spoke to my 309 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,920 spirit. I just convicted myself because 310 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,880 I have done that so many times. Like I literally am just opening 311 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,760 the Bible because I need to hear from Him. 312 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,240 I need you to give me this answer right now. 313 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:59,320 I need to know what's going on. But if he does that, we're never 314 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,240 going to depend on him. OK, Now we're going to go 315 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,480 through those seasons to grow closer to him. 316 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:06,880 He's close to the broken hearted. 317 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:11,520 So in those moments like, yes, sometimes he does speak right 318 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,080 off the RIP. Like that one day that I opened 319 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:18,400 up the Bible and he gave me that verse and that's exactly what I 320 00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:22,480 needed right then and there. The next day I did the same 321 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:26,840 exact thing. And after that, it was signed, 322 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:31,480 sealed, delivered. I'm yours because I haven't 323 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,680 looked back. I truly have not looked back. 324 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:39,160 Have you ever heard of a Christian, OK, not just 325 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:42,600 religion, OK, not just a normal churchgoer. 326 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,880 Have you ever experienced someone that is sold out for the 327 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,480 Lord, Sold out for the Lord? And they're like, I wish I 328 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:55,680 wouldn't have sold out so much. I wish I would still be somewhat 329 00:19:55,680 --> 00:20:00,040 of who I used to be. I haven't I ain't never heard of 330 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,560 somebody that came to know the Lord. 331 00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,440 And they're like, man, I was better back then. 332 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:06,880 Never now did I think those people are crazy? 333 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,000 Absolutely. But once you taste, you taste it 334 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,920 and you know how good it is. OK, I may have said this before 335 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,440 too. You tried a restaurant and it is 336 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,000 the best restaurant you've ever had to this day. 337 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,400 Like you have never tasted something so good. 338 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,920 You had an appetizer, it was fire. 339 00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,680 You had an entree, it was fire. You even ordered the dessert, 340 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:32,960 honey, and you don't even order the dessert every time You 341 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:35,760 you've never ordered a dessert. But this restaurant is so good. 342 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:40,560 When you leave there, are you button mouth or are you telling 343 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:43,560 everybody about your experience? Are you telling everybody about 344 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,400 what you had at dinner and how nice this restaurant was and 345 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:51,760 what all the waitress did for you and what all the Hostess did 346 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,200 on the way to the table, and how the napkins were perfectly 347 00:20:55,200 --> 00:21:00,360 placed on the table, and how you're telling every last detail 348 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,880 of that restaurant in that experience? 349 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:07,040 Do the same thing about God. Do the same thing about God. 350 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,840 Watch how the good becomes better. 351 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:15,840 OK, I actually have. As soon as I said that I 352 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,400 actually have like this wall art when you're walking up the 353 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,360 stairs to come up here and it says if you focus on the good, 354 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:29,080 the good gets better. And you know, that just speaks 355 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:32,240 because if you're only focused on the bad, you're only focused 356 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:36,480 on the past, you're only focused on what has went wrong, that's 357 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:40,160 all you're ever going to notice. Think the positive about things. 358 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,160 Think about the good things that are going on in your life. 359 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,720 Think about the blessings that you've received. 360 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,480 Think about how you're not stressed out about how you're 361 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,280 going to pay your water bill or your electric bill or your, or 362 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,520 your rent, your mortgage. Like think about how God has 363 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,640 blessed you with that job or blessed you with those children, 364 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,000 blessed you with that husband, bless you with the car that you 365 00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,800 drive, all of these things that you have that are just 366 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,320 materialistic things. Think about that, OK? 367 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,600 Think then take away the materialistic things and think 368 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,880 about your health that you have. You're alive today. 369 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,800 You were on the wake up list today. 370 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:19,480 You still have a purpose. That is so beautiful to me. 371 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,720 I have said that the past like 3 mornings I would probably say I 372 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:29,640 am too much shy of being two years sober and I am just static 373 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:32,080 about it. I cannot believe two years have 374 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,840 come and gone so fast like I used to. 375 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:38,080 Couldn't remember the day that I could go a week without drinking 376 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:42,360 alcohol, a few days without drinking alcohol like and now to 377 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:45,200 say that I've been sober. I have not had a sip of alcohol 378 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,480 in two years. Glory to God, glory to God you. 379 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:53,200 If you know me. BC the hat is a miracle, that's 380 00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,040 a miracle. I have been having dreams, 381 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,680 nightmares if you will, that I lose my sobriety. 382 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:05,080 The past probably week or two, I've had almost a reoccurring 383 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,960 nightmare, not the same exact thing, but me being drunk, 384 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:13,040 intoxicated, drinking a few drinks or like one night it was 385 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:15,720 very casual where I just had like a sip of alcohol and I'm 386 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,680 like, Oh my gosh, like I had one drink and I'm like screaming and 387 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:24,920 crying and I wake up in a panic because it was so realistic and 388 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,000 I was so scared that I thought it was real. 389 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,880 And then I wake up and I'm like, oh, thank you God, thank you 390 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,360 God. And so the past few mornings I 391 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:38,520 literally have woke up and I'm like, God, you woke me up this 392 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,920 morning. I still have a purpose today. 393 00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:45,400 I still have something that you are calling on my life because 394 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,720 if you didn't have a purpose for me, I would be dead. 395 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,120 You would have already brought me home. 396 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,840 As I close, I just want to give you this scripture. 397 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,680 I started to do a devotion right before this recording and the 398 00:23:56,680 --> 00:24:00,120 scripture of the day was Jeremiah 2911. 399 00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,640 It's one of my favorites. It's a lot of people's favorite 400 00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:04,120 and maybe you just need to hear it. 401 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:08,520 So I'm going to read it to you for I know the plans I have for 402 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,680 you declares the Lord plans to prosper you, not to harm you, 403 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:18,120 plans to give you hope and a future replace you and put your 404 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,640 name. So I'm going to read it for me, 405 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,520 for I know the plans I have for you. 406 00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:29,000 Alexis declares the Lord plans to prosper you, Alexis, and not 407 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,560 to harm you. Alexis plans to give you hope 408 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:35,640 and a future. He has a future for us. 409 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:39,080 He has big plans for us. But you have to be obedient. 410 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,520 I talk about obedience so much because that is so big. 411 00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:47,560 That is so big. That's the fine line of knowing 412 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,880 Christ and living for Christ. Be obedient. 413 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:55,800 If you feel some random thought or think this random thing 414 00:24:55,800 --> 00:25:01,560 that's just pure and so good and so just out of your normal 415 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:05,440 realm, that's from God. He's prompting you to do that 416 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,280 thing. So if you hear him say pay it 417 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:12,120 for unless that person do this, do that, just do it. 418 00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:16,000 Be obedient. Try to get on a regular cycle of 419 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,680 opening up your Bible, opening up your phone. 420 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,600 OK, Like we're not all great. We're not all going to open up 421 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,840 our Bible every single day. But some days I will start 422 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,800 reading a my phone. And even though I have talked 423 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,400 about it being a check the box, sometimes it has to be a 424 00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,880 discipline I like. That's my personal opinion. 425 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,360 Don't, don't fight me. Don't fight me might be a hot 426 00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,840 take and I'm not really big on hot takes. 427 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,400 This is just what I know. This is just what I know. 428 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:49,840 Some days I don't feel like it, but I do it anyway. 429 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,040 That's the best way that I know how to say. 430 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:56,800 Just read your Bible. You don't want to do it every 431 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,280 day. Your flesh is going to try to 432 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,560 say that you're too tired. Your flesh is going to want you 433 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,360 to stay in bed a little bit longer. 434 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:07,640 Grab your phone and read at least just grab your phone and 435 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,360 read. Yes, it may be a check the box, 436 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:16,520 but at some point it becomes a routine and then it becomes a 437 00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:21,680 discipline and then it becomes you actually wanting to grow 438 00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,400 like you have to start somewhere. 439 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,080 You have to start somewhere. So that's my encouragement this 440 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,080 week. Read your Bible. 441 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:34,200 Well, let's do it together, guys like we're all in this together. 442 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,440 I absolute Oh hang on. I love that y'all have been 443 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:40,200 leaving comments. I have been receiving so many 444 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,120 messages. I have been receiving so many 445 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:45,600 comments on these podcasts episodes and I am just 446 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,160 overwhelmed. Thank you. 447 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:52,520 Please leave comments like it's not just for me, but it like at 448 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:56,800 the same time like it it helps me continue to do what I do and 449 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,960 think that it's actually impacting someone. 450 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,680 Please leave comments, please message me, please talk to me, 451 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:05,520 OK? Like I want to be very 452 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:07,240 transparent. I want to be relatable, I want 453 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,000 to be approachable. I am not too good to have a full 454 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:12,680 blown conversation with a stranger. 455 00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,800 I love it. Which y'all ain't strangers? 456 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:17,800 Y'all know me very well so we ain't strangers OK? 457 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:21,480 Anyway, stay tuned, stay blessed and I'll see you guys later. 458 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,040 Bye.