1 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,280 What's up guys? My name is Alexis Brown, your 2 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 host with praises in the pod, and I'm so excited to be here 3 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:25,680 with Lisa Hensley today. We are going to get started, but 4 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,680 first we're going to start off from prayer and then we're going 5 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:28,960 to jump right in. So here we go. 6 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,640 Lord, Heavenly Father, thank you for today. 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:35,360 Thank you for all your many blessings. 8 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,960 Dear God, thank you for safe travels down here and obviously 9 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:42,360 just bringing Lisa into my life. Lord, she has been such a light, 10 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,600 such a spiritual leader to me and such an inspiration. 11 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,840 Lord, I just pray that you speak to us and through us and let 12 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:53,000 this podcast glorify you. In Jesus name I pray Amen, Amen, 13 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,080 Amen. So we are in a totally different 14 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,600 location today. This is the first time I've 15 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:04,040 brought the podcast to someone but but I have a busy three days 16 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,560 in store. I have heard these three stories 17 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,360 and I want y'all to hear these three stories. 18 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,840 God has moved in a mighty way in their lives and it is just 19 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,160 impacted my life and I just want y'all to hear it. 20 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,560 So, Lisa, let's go ahead and jump right in, OK? 21 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:25,240 You want to start out. All right, so let's maybe start 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,600 with your childhood. Let's let can we hear a little 23 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,600 bit about your childhood and your upbringing? 24 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:32,440 Sure. I was born and raised in 25 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,280 Arkansas. I have two sisters and a brother 26 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:40,120 just a middle class family, a typical cowgirl. 27 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:45,200 I rode horses horse showed, you know just your everyday good 28 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:49,400 child life. What I changed everything for 29 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:54,720 me, which I've come to learn on this side of the Lord at working 30 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,360 with women, that there's always root to the fruit. 31 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:05,120 And so my root started from an innocent young girl that just 32 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:09,160 loved life, had dreams of going to college, my Prince Charming 33 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:12,840 and white picket fence. And everything was radically 34 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:17,840 changed when I was eight. I was sexually abused and it was 35 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:22,760 the big secret in the a big thing of shame that was put on a 36 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,080 little girl. Yeah. 37 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,480 And confusion. I mean, I trusted this person. 38 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:32,000 He was a very you know, everybody thought the world of 39 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,280 him and I couldn't understand why he did it to me. 40 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,800 But anyway, that going forward, I believe is what really 41 00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:42,760 distorted my mindset, my identity, who I thought I was 42 00:02:43,840 --> 00:02:49,800 too with just a lot of shame and and I got really good at being 43 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,800 an actor. I was OK on the outside, but 44 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,520 inside because it continued. It wasn't a one and done. 45 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:59,480 It continued until I was probably 1314 years old. 46 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:06,360 Not every day, but whenever they had the opportunity from that is 47 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,040 things happen. I became very promiscuous 48 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:13,240 because the flesh wakes up. That made me guilty. 49 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:18,080 You know, at first it was his blame that when my body started 50 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:23,600 responding with my eyes closed, it's not happening, but my body 51 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:28,480 started responding. That transferred the guilt to me 52 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,480 in my mindset. And so from that, as I think 53 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:38,360 that's when I started running. I had my first abortion at 15. 54 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,080 It's one of those things that was done in secret. 55 00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:43,960 I didn't realize how it affected me. 56 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:49,640 I can still to this day remember the sounds on that metal bed and 57 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:55,200 everything, but I just went on. From the time I was by 17, I was 58 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,040 pregnant again. Of course, I was so lost by the 59 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:02,560 end because let me back up just a minute from as far as 60 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:07,480 chemicals and addiction goes from that young age at 8, I 61 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,560 started reaching for something to cope. 62 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:14,480 Now what kid starts huffing gas or or sniffing deodorant 63 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,519 aerosol. Now I'm I'll look at back and 64 00:04:17,519 --> 00:04:20,760 I'm like I was searching. I needed something to take that 65 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:25,400 pain that was constant. I had my son at 17. 66 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,120 I was determined to keep my son. I tried to be a teenage mom. 67 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,160 I was unwed. He, his dad, chose to walk away. 68 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:38,240 There is a label of rejection, you know, on and on. 69 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:42,440 It just goes on and off. Now you said from you had your 70 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:47,760 first abortion at 15, did have you come out and said anything 71 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,560 about the sexual abuse that you have been experiencing or this 72 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,640 is still all under wraps? You do not. 73 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,760 You haven't. Told you my family doesn't know 74 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,720 anything. Wow. 75 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,920 They're kind of like, you know, it's just back then in most 76 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:04,040 days, even now, people don't talk about it. 77 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:07,040 They really don't. And it's something that needs to 78 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:11,760 be addressed with kids, yes. But anyway, at 17 and had my 79 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:18,240 son, I really tried to be a good mom at 17 years old, as I knew I 80 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,040 worked, I got a job. But on the weekends, you know, 81 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,880 we'd go to the country clubs, do the boobs scoop boogie. 82 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,960 Yeah, you know the line dance. Come on, Sam, you, you're doing 83 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,040 good. Y'all don't start wrestling. 84 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,760 This is Samuel and Sophie and my children. 85 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:37,080 But anyway, so there for a while, you know, I did as well 86 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:43,800 as most teenagers have unwed moms, but from the drinking, it 87 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,240 was just a weekend thing. And then it started becoming 88 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,760 more and more. And then I started trying other 89 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,680 things, pot and and then one night it went to, you know, 90 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,680 let's try this. It's math, you know, and you're 91 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,200 just like, no, this is just party and it's no big deal. 92 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,040 Well, it was a big deal to me because I didn't want to just 93 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:04,240 party. I needed something to make me to 94 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,320 cope because I didn't know how to cope. 95 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,680 And I think a lot of times, like people think, oh, we're just 96 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,480 young, we're just going to try, you know, just do it while we're 97 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,320 at parties. But they don't realize that it 98 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,440 will start to carry where you want to do it more, you want to 99 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:19,680 do it more, you like the way it feels. 100 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,520 So then that pot, you know, a gateway, it just leads into 101 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:26,320 more. Yeah, Yeah, it just leads to 102 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,040 more and more. And I mean, I remember hearing 103 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,040 people all the time saying, oh, well, I just do it at parties. 104 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,320 And now, you know, those same people that started doing that 105 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:37,760 at a young age, like I've watched them have to go to rehab 106 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,040 at young ages and try to, you know, get set free from that 107 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,880 stuff because it does. It starts as just ha, ha, ha. 108 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:49,280 And then next thing you're, no, you're dug deep in a hole and 109 00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:51,720 you don't know how to get out. Yeah, I used to smoke when I 110 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:56,400 started smoking pot, I think it was like 13 or 14, but it became 111 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,040 regular. I mean, I smoked it like people 112 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,160 smoke cigarettes, I mean, throughout my day. 113 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:05,400 But I can look back now and just see how I'd never dealt with 114 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,480 anything. I didn't know what it was. 115 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:10,080 I didn't know why I couldn't stop and be normal. 116 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,680 I desperately wanted to to a point. 117 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,440 But then there was another part of me. 118 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,560 I always say, you know, one time as I had gotten older and really 119 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,800 started getting in trouble in the judicial system at 1 by 20 120 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:27,880 and picking men that were abusive and not really. 121 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,480 So it was very convenient to leave my son with my mom and 122 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,560 then go do my thing and then drive back through in mom's 123 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,640 home, you know, and take him for the week and and he loved me. 124 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:42,160 I mean, you know, mom and son. But but I can look back now and 125 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:46,160 say my mom one time said, you know, what happened to my 126 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,760 daughter And I remember thinking I didn't say it. 127 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:53,240 She died at 80, you know, she died at 8. 128 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,520 My life was never the same. And you know, there was when I 129 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:58,720 got older, I knew the difference in right and wrong. 130 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,160 I had a godly grandmother. I had a good mom. 131 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,800 She didn't know. And and my family was a good 132 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,760 family, so to speak. It was just the secret. 133 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:10,480 But I chose wrong. Yeah. 134 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,800 You know, it wasn't like I'm blaming oh, everything's because 135 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,080 of that. But it had a big, big thing on 136 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,560 me. Well, it started, you know, and 137 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,560 that, like you said, it was hit completely. 138 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,280 You're innocent, you know, you can never blame yourself for 139 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,440 that. But it was the actions that 140 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,280 happened after, right? The abuse that really transpired 141 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:35,120 into this whole, you know, snowball, Yeah, that your life 142 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:38,520 then went into. So well into the mindset of my 143 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,480 body was nothing but a tool to be used. 144 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,720 Yeah. And so from that I had Joshua. 145 00:08:44,039 --> 00:08:50,280 And then I met my future husband and he introduced me to meth and 146 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:54,120 coke, you know, partying. And so for me, the beating 147 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,480 started with him. Slap turned into a punch and a 148 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,040 punch turned into a beating. And and then, of course, there 149 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,680 was another secret. I couldn't tell anybody, 150 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,400 especially my mother because, you know, she had told me He's. 151 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,280 Oh, my gosh, he's terrible. And you don't need to. 152 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:07,960 So I didn't want to hear. I told you so. 153 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,640 Oh, yeah. So I just went through that 154 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:15,480 whole mess of abusive relationship and drugs to cope. 155 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:19,400 And so I ended up putting my mom, my son with my mom. 156 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,040 I knew he would be safe there and I'm not being the martyr by 157 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:25,320 no means going forward. I ended up completely out of 158 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:30,560 control, running into started getting in trouble. 159 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:34,440 Judicial system in and out of jail. 160 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,160 What? Age are we kind of like. 161 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:40,160 20/21/22 Wow. Yeah, Being at the wrong place, 162 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:43,480 the wrong time around people that were drug users, so going 163 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:50,360 to jail with them. And then my first charge, which 164 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,000 was being in the car with somebody that did something and 165 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:59,480 I got 3-2 years, I mean, three years, 2-3 years of to run 166 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:02,520 concurrent, which was six years, made the front page of the 167 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:06,600 paper. And all this to say, 15 in 168 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,560 abortion and then 17 and pregnant. 169 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:11,000 I came from a small town. Everybody knew where everybody's 170 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,520 been. So I was marked as trash to get 171 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,120 sober all through the years of my addiction. 172 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,000 But I couldn't get changed. And that was the big thing. 173 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,160 I knew I was listening. An addict. 174 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,040 But I didn't have I didn't have a clue of how to be Lisa and be 175 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,040 different. Yeah. 176 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:33,280 And so my abnormal, the abnormal of addiction and addictive of 177 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,480 living and everything that I was at that time had become my 178 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,840 normal. I took off running into the 179 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,920 darkness. It was 26 years just in and out 180 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:48,920 of prison, living on the street, ended up as a homeless woman, 181 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:53,240 selling anything I had can get my hands on to the point of 182 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:57,160 selling myself. I would have never dreamed I 183 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:58,920 would have done that. And people say, well, how can 184 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,400 you say that to people? It is what it is. 185 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,880 My identity was in darkness. That's what the deception was. 186 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,320 I thought that's who I was. It didn't matter. 187 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,680 So when people tell me, you know, identify as this, identify 188 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:16,720 the way I identify as a prostitute, that didn't mean 189 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,320 that's who I was. Yeah, so that's who the enemy 190 00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,880 said I was. And I was. 191 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,360 And at that point, that's what you believe, because that's all 192 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:27,160 you knew. And it's I look back now, you 193 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:30,440 know, haven't been walking with the Lord and knowing truth and 194 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:32,800 who I am now in Christ in my life. 195 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,120 I when he says you're a new creation in Christ. 196 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,680 Oh, things have passed away. All things have become new. 197 00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:44,120 It is dead on because when I think of that girl, and it is, I 198 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:47,520 don't even understand that. I don't even understand. 199 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,880 That mindset. Yeah, because I could walk down 200 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,800 the darkest. I know this is so crazy, Excuse 201 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,400 this, but I could walk through the darkest of the dark. 202 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,000 And I was not afraid because I was empty. 203 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:05,680 Yeah, there was No Fear. And actually, I welcomed death. 204 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:09,240 I was too coward, too much of A coward to do it myself. 205 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,440 I mean, I don't know why because I would overdose a lot and have 206 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,880 seized out and they'd pump my heart and get it going. 207 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:20,320 And so I did a lot of that, but my life just wasn't taken in 208 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,600 when I would go in in jail. I want to get to this place. 209 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,160 I was started going in and jail regularly. 210 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:29,200 I started crossing States and I'd get out and go to the next 211 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,880 place and then I'd get back and but the Lord I could. 212 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:39,120 I like going to jail because I was safe. 213 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,320 I didn't like coming down because the reality of truth 214 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,200 would hit. So I'd be like a wild woman for 215 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,040 the first two or three days. But then I just accept it 216 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,040 because I always got several, you know, six months, 8 months, 217 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,720 a year, probation violation, this, that, and the other. 218 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,240 I wasn't doing crimes. I just would run out on 219 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,400 probation. So I'd get probation violation, 220 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,960 but I like going to jail. People call it jail, has 221 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,280 religion, whatever, if that's what it takes to get the word on 222 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,640 you. And so when I would go to jail, 223 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,000 the first thing I would do when I get to the back is does 224 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:14,120 anybody have a Bible? And I would stay in my cell and 225 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:19,160 I would get along with the Lord, and I so wanted to live for him 226 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,400 because we would become so close. 227 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,760 I mean, inmates say you act like you like it in here, and I'm 228 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:27,160 like I do. And I do. 229 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:29,680 I do. They would call me Happy 230 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,240 Hensley. Yeah. 231 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:35,320 And so from a girl coming in with no name and no nothing, I 232 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,960 would become Happy Hensley because I love the Lord. 233 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,880 But then when I would get out, I would really try. 234 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,280 But I didn't know then I did know how to walk in God. 235 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,960 So anything, when I got out, that was all I knew to do. 236 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,280 So that that transferred. I mean, when you're out there to 237 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:56,800 kind of get real with it, you get raped a lot, you get left 238 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,560 for dead a lot. And now I'm just this country 239 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:07,080 girl riding horses, SAHASAHA Princess Rodeo, pleasure all 240 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,560 around Champion, You know, this little girl riding horses, 241 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,480 loving my brother, my sisters too. 242 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,320 Here I am. And so I remember many times I'd 243 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,640 be walking the street be Christmas or Easter or, or 244 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,480 especially Christmas. I'm like, I wonder what Josh was 245 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,760 getting. He was 5 when I left. 246 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,720 Now he's 8 now he's 7 now he's 8 now he's 9 now. 247 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,440 I'm going to go back next year. I'm going to go. 248 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:33,160 But just, and then I'd get sober for periods of time because I 249 00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:37,080 started going through a lot of rehabs and but I would go so far 250 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:38,960 and it'd be like I was crawling out of my skin. 251 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,160 The normalcy of life and responsibility. 252 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,640 It drove me nuts. I didn't know how to deal with 253 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:48,360 it, living on the on the edge in the, you know, split second, do 254 00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:52,360 whatever you know, And if you get raped or gang raped or left 255 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,600 for dead, you just come too and give me a hit. 256 00:14:54,600 --> 00:15:00,240 And then you, you, you go on. And but it's the coolest thing I 257 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,320 can say. God's mercy and grace and love 258 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,440 for me. There would be these older 259 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:08,200 women's Katie Garrison was her name and she would come into the 260 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,600 jails in Arkansas as I would come in and out of those 261 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:15,600 facilities and she would look for me and say he still loves 262 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:19,120 you, Lisa. And I would hide when I was 263 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,240 there coming because I thought, here I am again because she just 264 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,640 poured into me. And then I'd come back to say he 265 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:26,920 still loves you, baby. He still loves you. 266 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:28,920 Plant and. Seed. 267 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:32,040 I am filthy. How can he love me? 268 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,640 I mean, do you know how many promises I told him I would do? 269 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,160 Yeah. See, her walk's not based on our 270 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,880 promises. It's based on his. 271 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,400 I mean, yes. So and see, I didn't know that. 272 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:47,760 So by the time I got to the door of hope for me, I was 44 years 273 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,680 old. I had right at 31 arrest on my 274 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:53,440 record. It looks like I, I thought so 275 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:56,320 when they sent me my history because I was applying for a 276 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:00,360 pardon after I came in and turned my life around, they sent 277 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,240 me a Manila envelope. I thought somebody had ordered a 278 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,320 magazine. I'm like, who ordered this 279 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:07,640 magazine? Knew it was my history. 280 00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:12,840 My wow, the coolest thing is how he got me to Georgia. 281 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,720 They would let me out and they would send me to a transitional 282 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:18,720 home or or state place. But it would normally be in a 283 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,280 drug area and I would do good for a minute, but then I'd just 284 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,080 give out a gas and I'd go get high again. 285 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,000 So when he got I pray for a rich man Lord just give me. 286 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,920 A rich man that'll solve all my problems. 287 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:34,240 Lord, you know what? Yes, but he gave me one. 288 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,840 And he wasn't necessarily a rich man. 289 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:40,840 He had his own stuff and he saw something in me and he took me 290 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:45,040 in and I had whatever I wanted, cars, home, own room. 291 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,480 But I was miserable. I was absolutely miserable. 292 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,480 And at that point, God showed me there. 293 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,440 I felt like there was no hope for me. 294 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,080 So I took back out to the streets. 295 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,160 And then God brought this woman named Julie Wilkins into my 296 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:00,880 life. And during that time I had 297 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,400 gotten a job at Publix. I was doing it working in the 298 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,720 deli. I knew I was going back out. 299 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,680 I knew I was just leave a Richmond person's house as I 300 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:12,200 called him, and I was headed back out because I was 301 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,720 miserable. I had nothing, no identity or 302 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,000 anything. When you say like you knew you 303 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,079 were out to go back out, like because I've always wondered 304 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,560 this is this something like it's like contemplated for and it's 305 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,200 like a spiritual warfare. Like I want to do good. 306 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,720 It's like that devil and the Angel. 307 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,560 Yes. You know, like yes, yes, yes, 308 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,960 no, no, no, yeah. Is that. 309 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,560 And then finally you're just like. 310 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:36,440 Yeah, I started romancing it. I started well and at this point 311 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,440 I was 44 and I, I was like, I'm just done. 312 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,560 I can't be helped. So but the only it this time was 313 00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:50,600 different because many times I try to put myself in a situation 314 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,160 where I wouldn't make it out of it. 315 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:56,120 Like one time I would I decided it was late or like 2:00 or 3:00 316 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:57,640 in the morning and I'd been drinking. 317 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,600 I had a 5th. So walking down the road, just 318 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,840 you know, I'm ready to jump out front of the next car when I see 319 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,960 lights coming up behind me, I'm just going to jump out. 320 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:09,280 Might be over what I did and it was a cop. 321 00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:14,400 God is good. Or, you know, we'd get pulled 322 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:18,720 over in some car that we had or I was in and everybody in there 323 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,600 have warrants that I'd be the only one going to jail. 324 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:26,160 But see, God had told me many times when I was in jail, the 325 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,680 last time I was in prison, I said, why won't you let me die? 326 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:35,720 Just let me die. Such a such a piece of trash. 327 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:37,800 Sorry. I mean, I'm no good. 328 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,640 And I heard him very clearly. He said you're going to help 329 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:46,520 women like you. And I remember laughing and I 330 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,080 said I can't even help myself. Wow. 331 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:54,440 So when I left, right before I left Everett's, I knew I was 332 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,920 fisting them. Grab my garbage bag and head out 333 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,720 and but then I also thought had this feeling like, you know 334 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,200 what, I'm just going to buy a bunch of pills, which I'm not a 335 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:07,680 pill person, thank God. And when I even thought about 336 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,080 something like that just as quickly as it came there, but 337 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,320 there was a relief. And when there was that certain 338 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,240 kind of relief, I thought, I'm in trouble. 339 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:22,120 So anyway, I met Julie. She came in from church. 340 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,840 Her and her husband Ken regular conversation. 341 00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,440 Cut the meat and cheese. She came in back in that 342 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,800 Wednesday. She'd come in Sunday. 343 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,080 She'd come back in that Wednesday. 344 00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,360 And she came straight to the counter and she said, honey, can 345 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,560 I talk to you? And I said, yes, ma'am. 346 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,840 And she said, God has not let me rest until I've come back up 347 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,600 here to see about you. Wow. 348 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:48,440 Are you OK? And Alexis, I don't know. 349 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:53,360 I just remember looking at her and I said, ma'am, I've not been 350 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,440 OK in a long time. Wow, you got to think about. 351 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,920 It's been 26 years. I've not seen my family anymore. 352 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,520 My mother had died. They'd come over to Metro State 353 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,200 inmate Hensley. Your Mama died. 354 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,880 My son. My family is done. 355 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,680 They've been done for years. They were tired of the drive 356 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:14,560 through. And she looked at me when I said 357 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,520 that. I laid my head on her shoulder 358 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,240 and I'll never forget. She rubbed my back. 359 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,320 My grandmother used to rub my back. 360 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:26,600 My memo. We'd lay in across her lap in a 361 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,640 rocking chair and she'd rub our backs and when she did that, I 362 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:36,360 just the damn puppet. I cried and she held. 363 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:40,560 Was this a lady that like you just knew from Publix coming in? 364 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,560 She just came in a customer God center. 365 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,600 Hang on it. Like, did you meet her before 366 00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,240 this week? Wow, just a straight just Angel. 367 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:53,480 She came in, we were talking, no big deal, never even mentioned I 368 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,560 was having issues, just did Remember Me. 369 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,560 She went home and God started speaking to her to get back up 370 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,640 there. But see, in my book, I've got a 371 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,120 book I wrote. I wanted to get into that, yeah. 372 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,360 I wrote a book. Can you believe that there is a 373 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,640 good ending to this story? But like one night I was on the 374 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:09,960 street and you'll see it in here. 375 00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:12,760 God sent a pastor to save my life. 376 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:16,280 I mean, there's so many times God intervened in my darkness. 377 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,520 A lot of times people say, well, he doesn't hear you in the 378 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,880 darkness. I beg to differ. 379 00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,960 He save it. He pursued me. 380 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:25,680 He pursued me. Yeah. 381 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,000 I just didn't know how to release myself to him. 382 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,160 So she started telling me to listen to this lady named Joyce 383 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:34,120 Meyer. And I was like, OK, well, then 384 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:37,080 she kept calling me. And I'm like, there's that crazy 385 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,120 lady. Like changing her number in your 386 00:21:39,120 --> 00:21:40,160 phone. Do not answer. 387 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,080 I started using again. I was trying to find out when I 388 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:45,960 was going to head out from this person's house. 389 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,280 Well, she said please just go with me to this place called the 390 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,520 Potter's house. I said I am not going to another 391 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,240 program. And so she's she just kept on 392 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,760 with. She ended up talking me and just 393 00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,160 to go into a group. So I went Are you? 394 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,400 Talking about the interview group. 395 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,640 Yeah, the interview. Actually, it was just a. 396 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,680 Group they did, they just just go to a group like you're going 397 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:09,640 to do today? And so I said, OK, well, I 398 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,000 walked in and I was like, these girls don't look like they're on 399 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,360 drugs. They look beautiful and they act 400 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,960 like they like it here. And then I looked at Miss 401 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,360 Cherie, and you know Miss Cherie's got the most beautiful 402 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:26,760 head of white Shekinah glory. Hair, yes. 403 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,560 And when I looked at her and her beautiful blue eyes and the way 404 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:35,960 she hurt when she talked about the word in the Lord, her eyes 405 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:41,920 lit like I, it scared me, but I was like, I have never seen 406 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,360 anybody teach the word like that. 407 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,320 So we did the group. I took a newsletter that she 408 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,240 used to do out in a in a physical paper form and now she 409 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:53,320 does it by e-mail. And I left that day and by then 410 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:56,240 I had left Everett and I was on the street again and I was 411 00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:59,240 staying on some girls floor. But I took that newsletter. 412 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:03,720 I kept rubbing those girls face. And so to make a Long story 413 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,720 short, some things happened and the day came where I called 414 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:10,240 Julie and I said, would you come and would you come quickly 415 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,720 before I change my mind and take me to that place. 416 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,480 So I got to the Potter's house and I remember walking in, I 417 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,040 said, you know what, if you can't change me here, I will be 418 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:22,760 all right, Don out there. But when you brought back going 419 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,320 in, I'll do whatever they say. I will do it to my best. 420 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:29,520 And that's what I did within three months. 421 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,320 Well, first I met the Lord, so received him as my Lord and 422 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:39,960 Savior and the first scripture he gave me because she starts 423 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,640 teaching a relationship. She's a it's a discipleship 424 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:43,240 program. It's. 425 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:46,040 Just not just a rehab where we're just trying to get sober. 426 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:49,160 No, this is we're going to be, you know, not be, but we're 427 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,280 going to teach you Jesus. And I'm going to teach you how 428 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,440 to walk in, Yes. And I'm going to show you how 429 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,640 you can have a genuine personal like when you're sitting there 430 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,440 talking with Jesus. At first I thought it was a 431 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:02,560 cult. I'm like, it's going to be a 432 00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,800 cult. Especially when I thought, Oh my 433 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,160 gosh, I think God just talk to me like, why don't people know 434 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,440 this? I mean, I've been going, I've 435 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:12,480 gone to church when I was a kid and and in prison and stuff. 436 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:15,800 Why don't people know this? But then the first scripture he 437 00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:20,960 gave to me and all my filthiness was it's not least, you know, 438 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,840 and I, he said, you're a new creation in Christ. 2nd 439 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:28,680 Corinthians 517. All things have passed away. 440 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,440 Old things have passed away. All things have become new. 441 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:34,160 And I remember Lexus getting, when I saw that, that's when I 442 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:37,200 first came in. I thought, you know what, God, I 443 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:40,840 don't know that I believe this, but that's all I got. 444 00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:43,960 They're holding. I'm just going to stand on it. 445 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,200 And I started walking even. I mean, they said left. 446 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,360 I did left. They said right. 447 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,960 I did at first. I just got in there and did 448 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:55,200 whatever they said until I established my own and things 449 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,320 sort of changing for me, it was the craziest thing. 450 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,360 Just it's it's the stories all in here. 451 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:03,960 It is. And within three months, mystery 452 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:08,880 is God would have it asked me to be the house mom in three. 453 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,080 Months. Wow. 454 00:25:10,360 --> 00:25:13,040 Girl and there was like 20 women there at that time. 455 00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,800 There was no other leaders but me and her. 456 00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,320 Wow. So but you know, it's the 457 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,600 funniest thing when I walked in the Potter's house, when I 458 00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,800 finally came and surrendered. And that's another story in here 459 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:28,160 about surrender. I'm going to tell you, I walked 460 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,520 in. I said this is where I've been 461 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,280 trying to get my whole life. It was to Jesus, but it was to 462 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:42,000 the Potter's house, because God knew that this little girl was 463 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,320 finally going to get to rest. I just cry because the Potter's 464 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:54,120 House is just so special to me. I mean, I've watched it changed 465 00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:58,480 so many people, not, not the Potter's House, but Jesus. 466 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,600 And mystery pours Jesus into all the women that attend the 467 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,920 Potter's house. And when you just say like, you 468 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,720 walked up and you just, you know, surrendered at all. 469 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,840 And you said, you know. Yeah, and it didn't happen. 470 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,720 Like that over there. Came in, but what I did was you 471 00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,120 were willing submit it to our authority in my life because see 472 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,720 I'm a law breaker that we don't follow rules we're we're all 473 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,400 Breakers. But at that time I thought I 474 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:28,640 had, and death was the next, and it was real and I was. 475 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,880 Old and you know that, nothing new. 476 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,800 And I thought, you know what, I would hate to die and never 477 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,800 lived but just been a real good drug addict. 478 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,360 And I just remember thinking whatever she tells me to do. 479 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,960 And I told her, I said, if you tell me to stand on my head in 480 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,760 that corner, I will to the best I can, whatever you tell me to 481 00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:48,920 do. Because if I've not changed when 482 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,240 I leave here, I will know I'm unchangeable. 483 00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,280 Yeah. This is just my fate. 484 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,440 So I knew I had to be all in. This was done, life or death for 485 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,520 me. And my life started changing. 486 00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:04,200 God, the relationship that I had with him became real. 487 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,680 I was so excited. I was like, God is talking to 488 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:08,800 me. Yeah. 489 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,240 We would go to a spiritual retreat twice a year. 490 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,880 Well, at that time, all I had was my salvation. 491 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,400 I just got saved. I had my little bag of my CD 492 00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,760 player, my devotionals and my Bible that I'd get up early in 493 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,760 the morning before anybody else because I mean, it was so 494 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,440 exciting to me. And Oh my gosh, just get along 495 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,280 with the Lord and he would show me things. 496 00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:32,480 I'd sit on the back deck and look up in the stars and it was 497 00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,520 just so exciting. So we went to the beach and soon 498 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:39,040 as I got there, came over the to the beach and I just remember, 499 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,560 look at the body of water and I was like, everything became 500 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:44,200 alive. I was like, look at that body of 501 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,760 water. I mean, it's massive. 502 00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,480 I've never been to the beach. I've been on the I've been a 503 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,760 homeless woman. And I just could not get over 504 00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:56,800 how huge all his creation had come alive because I had I had 505 00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,480 gotten saved and my new eyes were open and I was seeing his 506 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,640 glory and everything. And it was the most beautiful. 507 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,080 I can still see it now talking to you how just magnificent it 508 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,840 was. And and I remember thinking, how 509 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,360 does that water know not to come any further than that there? 510 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:15,000 I mean, it could take over the whole place, but just childlike 511 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,280 mentality as I still have and so that. 512 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,400 Which it's good to have. And you know, Speaking of this 513 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:26,320 retreat, I went with y'all this past year and it is so amazing 514 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,560 to, I mean, even me, like I've been to the beach. 515 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,680 I've done all this stuff that that was the first time that I 516 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:38,040 went and I was like seeking God and to really sit in his his 517 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,640 presence and just look out and just see his creation and just I 518 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,560 mean, it's a whole nother level of a spiritual eye. 519 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,080 No, no, no, it is. Yes, it really is. 520 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:52,240 When you block out everything else and you are only there to 521 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:56,200 hear from God and and get to know God on a deeper, deeper 522 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,680 level. That's when I was like, wow. 523 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,360 You're there strictly seeking him. 524 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,920 And so I that first night I got there and I got up the next 525 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:06,440 morning, I was like, Oh my gosh. I mean, it was really like a 526 00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,280 something I couldn't even imagine. 527 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:10,840 I made my little palette out there on the beach. 528 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:12,720 It was sun was not even coming up yet. 529 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,480 Walking up and down the water, coming in and out, looking up at 530 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,480 the sky. Listen to Casting Crowns or 531 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,680 somebody else like this has got to be what heaven is. 532 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:24,720 I just can't believe my life. I remember because they had a 533 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:28,120 condo down there and her and her husband and I remember thinking 534 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,120 I want to she'll let me. There was a freedom. 535 00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:33,680 That's what it was like. I wonder if she'll let me stay 536 00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,040 down here. I'll take care of the condo. 537 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,960 I just want to I want to stay in this moment. 538 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,360 The freedom, there's freedom. It's beauty. 539 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,760 So that I sat down and I started reading my Bible, you know, 540 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:47,320 sometime in that morning and I heard this little voice and it 541 00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:50,360 said, get on your knees. I'm like, where'd that come 542 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,400 from? I brushed off. 543 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,520 So the next day I did the same thing because we would have 544 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:56,760 groups throughout the day and sometimes she'd take us on the 545 00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,320 beach and they would sing Amazing Grace and have their 546 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:01,120 hands held up. And I was kind of embarrassed. 547 00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,640 People was looking. I was like, oh, this is weird. 548 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,800 But so the second day I went over there and did my little 549 00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,600 thing and sat down and I heard that voice again. 550 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:13,280 I got a little louder and I'm like, what is that coming from? 551 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,240 And I always make a joke, you know, I mean, I don't crack as 552 00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:17,720 there's a culture. I'm hearing stuff. 553 00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,280 So I didn't recognize that it was the Holy Spirit talking to 554 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,000 me. And so the third day I went over 555 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:28,920 there and did my little thing and the boys had gotten louder. 556 00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,880 I said get on your knees. I'm like, I'm not getting on my 557 00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,080 knees and I don't know who you are and where it's coming from, 558 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,680 but I'm not doing it. So the 4th that the last day, I 559 00:30:36,680 --> 00:30:38,520 didn't know it at the time, it was red tide. 560 00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:39,840 There's a lot of stuff in the air. 561 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,040 The wind was going really hard and there's a lot of seaweed. 562 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:47,040 The water was frothy. I sat down, went to read my 563 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,400 Bible and I heard that voice and I said get on your knees. 564 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,880 And I just remember thinking that's it, I've had it. 565 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:57,960 I don't know where this voice is coming from, but I'm not doing 566 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,200 it. I threw my Bible open and I 567 00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,800 looked down. I didn't know the Bible, I just 568 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,760 learning it, but it opened to the book of Daniel. 569 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,360 And when I looked down my eyes fell to the scripture that said 570 00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,480 and Daniel got on his knees three times a day facing the 571 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:18,320 east worshiping his God. And I said that is crazy. 572 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:21,760 So I grabbed my CD player and threw my Bible down, threw it 573 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:25,000 down, grabbed my CD player, threw it on my head, hit play. 574 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:31,320 It was Nicole Mullins. When I'm on my knee, when I'm on 575 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:35,640 my SO I throw my headset down. I stand up. 576 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,560 Because by then I've just had it think I'm going crazy. 577 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:44,720 I walk out into the sand and I fall all 26 years. 578 00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:47,720 Because you have to remember I hadn't been there a month when 579 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,280 this was happening. I mean, I just fell. 580 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,720 And then I remember looking up and I said, is that you? 581 00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:59,360 I don't know what I'm doing. Am I going crazy? 582 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:03,880 What do you want from me? I don't know what I'm doing. 583 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,880 And whatever else I said to him and I got up, stomped literally 584 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,600 down into the waterbed ankle date. 585 00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,840 And I was just I could feel though that stuff coming in and 586 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,960 out on my ankles, but I wasn't paying attention. 587 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:20,080 I was staring out in the deep. I was like, is that you? 588 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:27,160 Did you hear me? And I was looking for Flipper 589 00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,600 that great moment. Just a big. 590 00:32:29,680 --> 00:32:33,520 Whale, you know, and the wind, like I said, was really strong. 591 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,040 And as I'm searching out in the deep, but that moment I hear 592 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,400 that little soft voice that said look down. 593 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:45,400 And I was like what? I said look down. 594 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:51,680 And it was like a slow motion moment as I go to look down in 595 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,520 this white frothy water with seaweed comes around my ankles 596 00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:58,880 and goes back out that little set 5 second fair saying moment. 597 00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,160 I looked down in this little white flag. 598 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,760 It's between my I still have it. I have it in the house. 599 00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:08,280 Yes. But this come on back, this 600 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,560 little white flag is between my feet. 601 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,160 It didn't float away when everything else was carried back 602 00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,320 out. It sounds like a finger, an 603 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,440 invisible finger holding between my feet. 604 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:22,000 And you know, the moment between me and God was I got it at that 605 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:26,440 precise second. I do that what he wanted me to 606 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:30,360 do, because the world's way as I know it now, from that moment, 607 00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,760 the world's way, the victory is in the fight. 608 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,160 Since I've been fighting since I was eight years old, Yep, I 609 00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:44,160 fought being molested. I fought the, the, the voices. 610 00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:50,600 I fought everything that I was. I fought the street, everything, 611 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,520 fought men. I fought people trying to get. 612 00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,440 But in God's way, the victory's in the surrender. 613 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,720 All he wanted me to do was surrender to him. 614 00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:07,520 And I remember reaching down and as I held that flag up, just in 615 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:11,880 that moment, I just was crying and I I get it. 616 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,840 I get it, God, I get it. Of course, then I took up off 617 00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:18,880 the, you know, running toward the of the house mystery. 618 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,239 And so that's been my power thing. 619 00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,800 Of course, he's given me many more sense, but that was when 620 00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,800 things boom and I'm like, I'm in it. 621 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,360 And then another cool thing is when we got back and, and it's 622 00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:37,480 in the book, this is when I turned around and my son Sophia, 623 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:39,040 you've been good. Now you stay good. 624 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:41,520 Stay good. She wants to come see you. 625 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,719 Sorry y'all. These are my children. 626 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,920 This is my son who turned around and my 25 year old son was 627 00:34:46,920 --> 00:34:48,639 standing there. So it's all in the book. 628 00:34:48,639 --> 00:34:52,120 There's pictures in the book. And I remember when I first 629 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,280 bought your book, I think mom was still at the Potter's house 630 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,080 at the time, and she said, you have got to read this book. 631 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,240 And I read it within the night. I couldn't put it down. 632 00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,000 I mean, I've read it multiple times since, but it's just. 633 00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:07,600 It truly is just. God's goodness and all that. 634 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,880 Lord, yes, I would have never. I didn't want to do it. 635 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,800 It through the years of I became the house mom. 636 00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:15,560 I was there 3 1/2 years. I mean, those girls, I needed 637 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,840 them more than they ever. And my feet just slid into the 638 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,760 shoes. Oh, I knew that was what I was 639 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:23,800 supposed to do. And then he's so personable. 640 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,520 After 3 1/2 years, he took me down to a ministry. 641 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:30,960 It was an unwed teenage ministry for unwed teenage moms for 642 00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:33,520 adoption is an option to save the babies from abortion. 643 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,760 Well, do you know how many I had had starting at 15 through the 644 00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:38,880 course of being on the street? A bunch. 645 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,960 And I could never understand how he would heal that until he put 646 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,600 me to work there. Whenever I was in the Potter's 647 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:48,680 house, the one thing I noticed, Sophia, would you like to say 648 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:52,880 anything, was that for me, myself, all I had was a garbage 649 00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:54,080 bag. I had nothing. 650 00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:57,160 We're sitting in my home to. Yes, and it's beautiful. 651 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:01,160 Yes, it's my little house that God built and so it's that's 652 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,000 another story about my little house. 653 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:06,640 But when I came in had a garbage bag I had I had five probations. 654 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,920 I had a ton of fees funds, no birth certificate, no Social 655 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,200 Security, no nothing. And so I noticed this girls 656 00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,240 would go out because we do not have at that time had a 657 00:36:17,240 --> 00:36:21,320 transition that they would relapse at some point. 658 00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:22,960 I'm like, what happened? They're like Miss Lisa. 659 00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:26,440 It's just too hard. So Richard Lester, who's the 660 00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,760 founder of Caitlin's Promise over here is God brings people 661 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,960 together. His daughter had come through 662 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:36,480 the Potter's house and Caitlin, the Ministry name is his little 663 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:40,280 granddaughter that suffocated died through an accident. 664 00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,040 But she was overmedicated. Jodi was and laid down with 665 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,640 Caitlin. She was in a horrible 666 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,800 relationship, overmedicated. She had her own prescription 667 00:36:49,800 --> 00:36:53,360 from post preeclampsia. She laid down with Caitlin and 668 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:55,640 rolled over on Caitlin and the baby suffocated. 669 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,880 So from that way, several hours from here, he's like, what do I 670 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,600 do what I do? And they said you need to get 671 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:08,120 her to the Potter's house. God, I mean people, people say 672 00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,920 all the time, how do you get into the Potter's house? 673 00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:14,720 So far it's just been word of. Mouth because you really I like 674 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,160 on Facebook you will see the newsletter, but it's not. 675 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,280 I mean, back then too, like it wasn't a thing. 676 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,200 It's truly just word of mouth and God placing people in 677 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:26,560 people's lives. Yeah. 678 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:27,680 To refer. Yeah. 679 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:31,440 So he brings her here and so during the course of that, I'm 680 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:34,400 over here when they're two months before graduating, 681 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,840 helping them with getting their license back or, or just some 682 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,360 $20. I didn't have any money. 683 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,360 I'm like, OK, we'll help you get your license is $20 or a lot of 684 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,280 them just didn't know how to go about getting a birth 685 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:47,800 certificate. I'm like, you got to go to the 686 00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:49,920 health department, which I'd learned that for myself. 687 00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:54,560 So I just knew there was a need. And so he comes in with his 688 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,440 daughter and he starts looking around like, well, where's the 689 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,400 drug addicts? We're like, so because he didn't 690 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,760 know anything about addiction. And he starts asking you, well, 691 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:06,280 so and so as he comes to visit his daughter and he'd say, well, 692 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,360 so and So what are you going to do? 693 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,400 You're fishing to graduate. Well, I don't know. 694 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,000 I mean, I don't have a car. I don't, I'd like to start a 695 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,360 cleaning business. They have hopes, but now how are 696 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,160 they going to get there? So he was like, you know what I 697 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:19,520 mean? I don't know what to help him 698 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,960 with emotionally, mentally, but I will, I can help him. 699 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,520 I will help him with a vehicle financially. 700 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,680 So he and I sat together and he's like, you know, I've been 701 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,440 seeing you at church. I've been wanting to talk to 702 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:31,280 you. I'm like, well, I'm glad you 703 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:33,120 did. Me too. 704 00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:36,520 So as God would have it, he and I got together and Caitlin's 705 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,000 Promise was started. And what Caitlin's Promise is, 706 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:43,280 we're just a small little ministry that has a heart. 707 00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:44,720 All we want to do is have people. 708 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:48,040 It was basically started from the Potter's House, and that is 709 00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:50,160 our heart because that's where it all started. 710 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,600 It's two separate ministries. People think it's the same, 2 711 00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,640 separate ministries, 2 nonprofits. 712 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,840 But what we do is I try to make sure, especially since I live 713 00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,480 around the corner and I help Mr. Reeve, the Potter's House, I'm 714 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,920 under her. I've been with her 17 years. 715 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,960 It's my heart, but I teach over there. 716 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,520 And. But I want to make sure girls 717 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,160 have birth certificates, Social Security cards. 718 00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,640 What is it going to take to get you a license back so you can 719 00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:20,080 get a job? What all. 720 00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:21,760 What's the mountains in front of you? 721 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:23,760 And so, yeah, we just want to help women. 722 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:30,400 It's Kaitlyn's promise. It's KATLYNS, promise.org, 723 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:34,200 www.andimsureyoucanput. Something under here, I'll put 724 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:35,200 it. I'll put it on here. 725 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,560 Yeah, and that's the only place you can get the book running 726 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:40,040 with Eyes Wide Shut. All the stories in here, of 727 00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:41,800 course God's done a. Lot more. 728 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,440 A lot more, yeah, since. Then you know, I went from a 729 00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,080 garbage bag to a home. I've gotten a pardon, full 730 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,160 pardon. State of Georgia. 731 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,600 Amazing. I've got 1 pinned in Arkansas. 732 00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:54,080 I'll go home now and I see I'm a I'm a memo. 733 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,960 No, she, yeah. Grandbabies they call me me Memo 734 00:39:57,960 --> 00:40:02,840 cuz I want to be I wanted that name to like my grandmother just 735 00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,440 like you're me mom. I wanted to be the God staple. 736 00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:09,400 I've never looked back. I just want to be used by the 737 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,520 Lord. I I still struggle. 738 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,520 Let's just kind of get here a minute Everything's not been 739 00:40:14,520 --> 00:40:17,640 perfect I've I've you know I've you come out of the darkness. 740 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,040 It does. It's not all cartwheels and I've 741 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:23,440 had to go through things, some hurtful things, you know, and 742 00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,480 and learn and and and stuff, but. 743 00:40:27,080 --> 00:40:29,000 The one thing I haven't done is go back. 744 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:33,200 I just, I just sit down a minute until I can figure I cling to 745 00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:39,120 Jesus because I can't, you know, That's why I tell him, you go 746 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,560 ahead and Take Me Home for that happens. 747 00:40:40,720 --> 00:40:44,000 It's not that I'm not able to. It's just that I've surrounded 748 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:47,840 myself with people of the Lord and that's I didn't go to any 749 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,280 old people places or things. I stayed in the Lord. 750 00:40:50,280 --> 00:40:52,840 I stayed in ministry and we are our ministry. 751 00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,840 We are God's ministry. You don't have to be in a 752 00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:58,200 ministry ministry. I mean, I tell girls all the 753 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,080 time when they get ready to leave and go to work, they're 754 00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,520 like, well, I mean, I just want to be a ministry. 755 00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,880 You are ministry. You can be at Walmart and I mean 756 00:41:05,880 --> 00:41:08,120 that's. Wherever you are, that's your 757 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:09,960 ministry, whoever you come in contact. 758 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,640 With that's your ministry. So you take the Lord with you 759 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,560 and you build your life around the Lord, around God. 760 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,600 You don't build God around your life or you're gonna squeeze him 761 00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:18,080 out. Yeah. 762 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,320 You stay in your quiet time. You keep your relationship 763 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,400 alive. When it starts dwelling, you 764 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,120 fire it back up. You stay accountable. 765 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,040 Everybody in my life is of the Lord. 766 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:31,080 I remember once they standing at that door and I was like, 767 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,400 somebody had called somebody relapsed or something and I was 768 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,240 not that. I can't, but I choose today not 769 00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:40,800 to take the steps. And if, you know, if anything 770 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:45,080 like that arises, I have reached out in the past. 771 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,240 I mean, it's not like that never crossed my mind. 772 00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:50,680 It did one time and it was like suffocating. 773 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:53,520 But I called a friend of mine, Denise Spassky, and I was like, 774 00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:56,080 would you stay on the phone with me a minute? 775 00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:57,200 I don't know where this came from. 776 00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,480 It was my 10th anniversary. And I don't really count years, 777 00:42:00,480 --> 00:42:02,120 but it's so cool. I mean, I just can't believe 778 00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,520 I've got 17 years in it. But she's like, yeah, what is 779 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:07,120 that? I'm like, don't flip out, but 780 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,840 I've got to go back home. I'm in the car and I'm going 781 00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,800 home because all of a sudden I just had this overwhelming 782 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:17,320 thought. So you take you stay 783 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:18,480 accountable. Yeah. 784 00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:23,360 Keep your relationship with him close and strong. 785 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,880 Mystery always says if you get out of the world, when a girl 786 00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,640 would relapse, she'd say, I bet you anything she got out of the 787 00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:29,240 word. Yeah. 788 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,920 And of course, my mentality was like, oh, my goodness, they've 789 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,160 got to go back into the world. They've got to work. 790 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:37,440 I mean, they've got. No, no, she got out of the word. 791 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:39,680 Yeah. She got away from the Lord and 792 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:43,000 she got out of her word because the word is living and breathing 793 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:46,920 and it's the truth of God. And so that right there just 794 00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:50,160 kind of brings you back and. Yeah, ground ya. 795 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,120 Yeah, God is good. He is, and this has been 796 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,360 absolutely amazing. I love hearing all of His 797 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,800 goodness all the time, but this is just very special to me. 798 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,480 I love. Watching you, girl. 799 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,400 Thank you. I remember your mom when she 800 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,520 came in. I was there. 801 00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:08,240 I was a part of it. And then watching you come and 802 00:43:08,240 --> 00:43:13,120 see her and ice big and and then just see what God's done in you 803 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,840 and him with you, not because of us. 804 00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,680 It was just your own walking. Beautiful. 805 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,120 Thank you. I appreciate. 806 00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,960 Thank you. All right, well, I hope that you 807 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,680 enjoyed this as much as we have. It has been absolutely amazing. 808 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:31,960 So stay tuned, stay blessed and check out Catlins Promise we'll 809 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,560 see you next week. Bye bye.