1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,400 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, your host with 2 00:00:02,400 --> 00:00:05,440 praises in the pot. And I'm so excited to have Tanya 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:09,320 Bethune here today. Yes, she has been such an 4 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:12,600 influence to me and such a light in my life and I just cannot 5 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,480 wait for y'all to hear and for me to hear more of your story 6 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:17,720 and a lot. Yes, I'm so excited. 7 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,320 We sat down and we were like, I don't know a whole lot. 8 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,720 So I'm, I'm, I'm really intrigued. 9 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,760 You just know current. Yes, yeah, absolutely. 10 00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,840 But we're going to start off in prayer and then we're going to 11 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,840 jump right in. So here we go Lord Heavenly 12 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,680 Father, thank you for today and what all you have been doing in 13 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:33,800 our lives. Dear God, thank you for allowing 14 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:38,760 Tanya to come in town today and just also lead worship, but also 15 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,000 come and sit in here and tell us about her story and what you've 16 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,640 done in her life. Lord God, we just pray that you 17 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,880 speak to us and through us and let this episode glorify you. 18 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:50,800 In Jesus name I pray, Amen, Amen. 19 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:55,160 Here we go, I know, there we go. So start out maybe like in your 20 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,480 childhood, a little bit like how how are you raised? 21 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,360 Like what? What your childhood look like. 22 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,240 So my mother is a preacher's kid. 23 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:07,160 So my grandfather is an was an Assembly of God minister and all 24 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,200 of my family went Assembly of God. 25 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:13,240 I even have like uncles that are pastors or were pastors when 26 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,360 were they passed? And so that's kind of where I 27 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,960 was rooted is Assembly of God, which is more Pentecostal. 28 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,320 I don't know if a lot of people know about. 29 00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:21,720 Yeah, I was like. Different you tell. 30 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,760 A little bit, yeah. It's a it's a more Pentecostal, 31 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,640 not quite non denominational, but they believe in speaking in 32 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:32,200 tongues, Holy Spirit moving, which we believe that too, but 33 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,720 it's more about the tongues and that you receive tongues. 34 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,480 You only receive the Holy Spirit by speaking in tongues, unlike 35 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:44,840 what you know. The Bible says that he we have 36 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,840 it when we're saved. So when you, so you grew up in 37 00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,520 that type of church your whole entire life. 38 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,920 So right out of the womb you were in church. 39 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,080 Absolutely. Like Sunday morning, Sunday 40 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,520 night, Wednesday night, choir rehearsal, kids camps. 41 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,160 Everybody said that. Could you sing at a young age? 42 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,000 Y'all, She's got some pipes on her, OK? 43 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:05,560 She's. Really loud. 44 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:10,400 Well, amazing. So my grandfather, when I was 4, 45 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,960 put me on the Pew and had me sing a song. 46 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,720 So that was like the first time I ever sang because he was 47 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:18,240 hearing me sing at his house or whatever. 48 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:23,120 But I was an extremely shy, shy, shy, shy, really. 49 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:26,400 Yes. And so I really didn't start 50 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,680 singing in public till I was like 13. 51 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,360 My brother is older than me, so he was the outgoing. 52 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,800 Like people thought I was his girlfriend because I didn't 53 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,400 speak and I just kind of followed him around, but I 54 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:41,360 didn't want people to notice me, look at me, hear me, nothing. 55 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,320 Wow. So growing up, you're in church 56 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:46,320 and you start singing though, but you don't start singing 57 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,280 until you're about 13, like in church. 58 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:53,000 But where I guess do you really get plugged in in your church? 59 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,320 Like at 13 you start singing like all the time, and that's 60 00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:57,880 kind of where your own faith grew. 61 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,520 Or no? So a big thing that happened in 62 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:04,560 my life at 10 years old, my dad just passed away at work. 63 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:11,080 And so that was a huge shake up in my life to where at 10 years 64 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:14,440 old a lot of things happens to a little girl at 10, a lot of body 65 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:16,040 changes, a lot of things are happening. 66 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:24,000 So we moved to Arkansas and my life really started, I started 67 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,320 going a bad path. You know, I had been saved my 68 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,960 whole life or whatever, but I started trying new things. 69 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:35,920 I had a, my mom got remarried when I was 13 and I wanted to be 70 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,280 cool, you know, so I had the stepbrother that was cool and 71 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,280 popular. And so there's some things I 72 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,800 tried and God just kind of and Satan, it was like on 2 73 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,560 shoulders, you know, fighting for me. 74 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,840 I'm going to get her. I'm going to get her. 75 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,360 I'm going to get her. And so that was a real clash for 76 00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,040 me. Yeah. 77 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,120 I don't believe at a young age too. 78 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:59,280 Yes, yes, we're all young. It was a spiritual war is what 79 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:03,120 it felt like in my life. So came through that and we 80 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:07,080 moved back here. Well, I'm sorry, back to 81 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,520 Louisiana. I'm a Louisiana girl. 82 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:13,840 So we moved to Louisiana and I started getting in youth group. 83 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,040 You know, we did go to kids camp every year, but I started 84 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,480 getting in youth group. Still very, very shy. 85 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,000 My brother played bass. And so I entered this teen 86 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:26,560 talent as something that assemblies a God have for all 87 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:28,200 the teens and you travel around or whatever. 88 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:34,400 And I won the local 1 and then went to state, which was at 89 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,080 Jimmy Swaggarts Church. Have you ever heard of him? 90 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,360 Some people don't know who that is but. 91 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,880 And so I sang there and I got 4th. 92 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:45,520 And so I was like, well maybe, maybe I can sing. 93 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:50,920 And then I started singing in youth group and just started 94 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,600 learning worship. We had a worship pastor there 95 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,880 that did youth and so he just kind of trained us up and what 96 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:03,160 worship was and what it meant. And it was one of these nights I 97 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:08,520 was just wrestling with God with Satan, like what, what, what? 98 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:13,360 And my mom and I, we used to have these deep prayer meetings, 99 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,800 like just in warfare. And we, I can't even find the 100 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,800 scripture anymore, which blows my mind. 101 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:23,400 But it opened the she opened the Bible and it just said you are a 102 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:27,040 worshipper. And so like it just was like an 103 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,280 Asper spoke to you. Yeah, it was just like an 104 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,960 affirmation. And I've never swayed wow from 105 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,240 that and so. How old are you in this point? 106 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,760 That 13? Wow. 107 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,520 So going into high school, how does that look? 108 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:42,840 And then, you know, if you want to jump past high school, like 109 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:44,240 maybe you're like nothing really. 110 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,880 So just start where you want, yeah? 111 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,680 Where do you want? Well, it was just in youth 112 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:53,160 group, leading worship, learning how to lead worship, getting 113 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:58,840 past my insecurities, you know, as a female, we have so many at 114 00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:04,160 that age and even older. But just kind of sharpening my 115 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:08,120 skills, learning that it's OK to sound good because I used to be 116 00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,560 like, I don't want to be noticed. 117 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,440 I don't want anyone to be like, look at her. 118 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,120 She thinks, you know, because people just tend to do that. 119 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,840 And that's where you're thinking as a youth. 120 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:20,640 And then finally one day God said, are you singing for them 121 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:22,760 or are you singing for me? Yeah. 122 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:27,760 Do you want to bring me your best or be like haphazard with 123 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,240 letting them be comfortable? Yeah, I would rather you 124 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:33,160 weren't, you know. And so it he just kind of grew 125 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:37,400 me in that and it's just I grow every day. 126 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,320 You know, I kind of got to that same point. 127 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,240 Not that I can sing. I think I can. 128 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:42,520 Maybe I've ever. Seen. 129 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,360 So. No, but it is a definite joyful 130 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,080 noise. I just kidding. 131 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,760 You know, I hit a few, I hit a few notes right there. 132 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,000 You and Catherine, yes, you know, but what I'm saying is 133 00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:00,600 like, he had to do that for me. Like when I do worship, like in 134 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,600 the sanctuary, like let's say, and like I put my hands up or 135 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,520 whatever. Like I used to feel so like 136 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:08,520 almost embarrassed or like, what are people going to think when I 137 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,800 put my hands up? And then finally he like clocked 138 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,400 me the same way. Like are you putting your hands 139 00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,400 up because of the people around you or is it me and you in that 140 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,440 intimate moment? And so finally I'm like now I 141 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,800 can't. I'll be running around if I 142 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,240 could. Well, I heard darling check say 143 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,520 one time. It's just I'm so in love. 144 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,840 Yeah. So I'm not leading this worship 145 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,200 set for you. I'm just so in love to the 146 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,000 Creator. And I can't help but get excited 147 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,560 and raise my hand and surrender and all that. 148 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:38,360 And that just kind of freed me when she came out. 149 00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:39,800 Yeah. You know I love that. 150 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,120 Yeah, so drop my head. Where do you want to go? 151 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,720 Where do you want to go I. Don't know, I saw do. 152 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,640 We're learning. So so, you know, continued in 153 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:54,600 that I went to school to be a teacher, OK, never completed 154 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,280 that because it wasn't for me, no. 155 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,960 And so stayed in church work throughout. 156 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,840 So you've been in ministry a very long time. 157 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:05,400 Very long time. Have you had any other like jobs 158 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:06,720 or you've always been in ministry? 159 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,400 No, I was a bookkeeper for some companies and stuff. 160 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,880 I moved a lot with Neil, more than what my jobs are. 161 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:18,960 And so everywhere we would move, I would just plug in and then 162 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,400 eventually it would become a job. 163 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,480 And that's kind of how it's happened everywhere. 164 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,920 So tell, maybe tell us a little bit about Neil, like how did you 165 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,280 and Neil me, how long you've all been together, stuff like that. 166 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:33,559 So Neil joined the Air Force, and then he got stationed in 167 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:36,919 Louisiana, OK, and got invited to our church. 168 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,960 And so that's how we met. Oh. 169 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,520 Nice, I met in church. In church it's. 170 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:43,480 Good. That is good. 171 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,480 He was a little snob though. Oh, really? 172 00:08:45,480 --> 00:08:47,840 Did y'all hit it off right away? Or it's a snob. 173 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,920 You know, some people like stuff, so they're like the 174 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,240 chase. I mean, he used to dress really 175 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:53,720 cool. Yeah. 176 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,640 Like, compared to Glenn Louise, Yeah. 177 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:57,920 But then, like, I was the greeter. 178 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:00,680 I was the youth leader. So I'm like, trying to talk to 179 00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,800 him. And he was like, a little snob. 180 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,760 No. So he maybe he liked me already, 181 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:10,720 I don't know. OK, but yeah, so y'all just like 182 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:14,680 finally work it out where Not work it out, but like he's maybe 183 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:16,120 becomes less snobby. I. 184 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,920 Guess and then y'all start dating. 185 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,600 He made me laugh all the time. Oh. 186 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,240 Good. Yeah, but then how do y'all end 187 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,440 up here in Georgia, OK. So he was raised here, OK, in 188 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,280 Georgia? So this was one of his picks to 189 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,640 come here. Well, he was raised in Smyrna, 190 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:35,080 GA, up in Atlanta, and we lived in Louisiana for a while, moved 191 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:40,080 to Tennessee for a while, and then he got a job here in Smyrna 192 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:45,760 and then he got moved here. OK, so like you and Neil, how 193 00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,320 old were y'all when y'all first started dating? 194 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,360 19 and 20. Wow, so y'all been together a 195 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,240 long time? Yeah. 196 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:52,280 How many years have y'all been married? 197 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,920 Did y'all have a long engagement or like? 198 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,800 Well, so we dated off and on for six months because I kept 199 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:58,920 breaking up and breaking up. Because he was his mom. 200 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,200 Because actually it was too good and I always they did bad boys. 201 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:07,000 Now, that'll preach too. Yeah, that'll preach. 202 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,720 Because a lot of women want, you know, that type of good 203 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:13,480 confidence. Yes, the confidence. 204 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:17,040 Of a bad boy is. But the good ones, you don't 205 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,560 give them a time of day. No, just break up. 206 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,600 They're just too good. I remember doing stuff like 207 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,080 that, too. And even when me and Greg first 208 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,760 started dating, like, I'm like, what I wanted to. 209 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,640 I would pick arguments just because I'm like, do you argue 210 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:29,840 about anything? Yeah. 211 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,640 Come on. So. 212 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,480 OK. So tell us about your early 213 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,320 years in marriage. What does that look like? 214 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:39,000 Because you're young. So they work in a church, he's 215 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,960 in the military, We have a baby like a year and a week. 216 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,360 Oh, after marriage, OK, a year and a week. 217 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,600 And Neil's mom moves wherever we move. 218 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:54,280 A blessing Different episode for a different. 219 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:55,680 Day. That's for a different day. 220 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:57,480 OK. She's bipolar. 221 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,560 Or she was. She's in heaven now. 222 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,520 OK well, anyways, I sort of Yeah, it was yeah. 223 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:06,400 Blessed. Yeah, but having your in laws be 224 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:10,040 everywhere that you are, I'm sure that is hard because you 225 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,400 need to build your own family, you need to build your own life, 226 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,400 right? Stuff like that. 227 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,240 And. So my whole family was in 228 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,200 Louisiana, so we were very connected with all my family. 229 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,800 And then we moved to Tennessee. We started getting grounded in 230 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:24,960 Neil and Tanya and Tori. Good SO. 231 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:26,840 And Tori's also a worship leader, too. 232 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,240 We're kind of bouncing like everywhere. 233 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,280 OK, sorry. It's OK. 234 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,960 Yes, she is. Wow. 235 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,120 OK, so I guess tell us a little bit about like maybe some 236 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,960 struggles that y'all have had in your marriage because y'all been 237 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,520 together for a long time. Like tell us some stuff that 238 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:43,800 you've had to work through in your marriage to get you where 239 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,920 y'all are today. Yeah. 240 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:51,320 So some things that happened to Neil and I were job struggles, 241 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:55,960 loss of babies. I used to think that since I 242 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,440 lost my dad at 10, I've paid my penance, I've done enough. 243 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:02,520 That's not going to make me suffer anymore. 244 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:10,440 Well, that is not true. We lost 22 babies and then so 245 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,760 Tori, we had her for eight years and nine months before I even 246 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,440 got Connor. And I had lost one before that. 247 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,080 And Connor, they were going to abort because they said it 248 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:25,400 wasn't viable pregnancy. And Connor had been attached and 249 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:29,840 then detached, then reattached. And it was just a miracle. 250 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,760 Truly, just truly. Like they even showed me where 251 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:37,400 it was. And so he was a miracle baby. 252 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,760 And one time I remember a pastor praying with us and they said, 253 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:44,640 do you want this baby to make it no matter what? 254 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,640 And so I said yes, but I want this baby to be healthy and 255 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:55,000 perfect and all those things. And so those words have come 256 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:58,040 back to me a lot in the past couple years. 257 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:03,400 And then after him, we lost one and I was done. 258 00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,240 Neil was not done. He wanted another baby. 259 00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,760 So surprise, surprise, Aubrey comes three years and nine 260 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,720 months later. So we have these children just 261 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,000 to spread iced. Yeah. 262 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,720 So when I would go and, you know, be with people and their 263 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,560 kids and stuff, I had all ages. And so one kid wouldn't be 264 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,000 having a friend or whatever. So So what? 265 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,200 That's like 12 years difference between all of like 8. 266 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,040 Eight years, nine months. So total of four years, nine 267 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:34,280 months, yeah. Wow, so in this time span, like 268 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:37,680 was Neil, were y'all equally yoked in this? 269 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,680 I know you said that Neil was in church and stuff, but like was 270 00:13:40,680 --> 00:13:44,360 he depending on God the way that you were in this in these trials 271 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:47,320 or like was that really heavy? You know the fold your own. 272 00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,480 Yeah, he's always been saved since I've known him. 273 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,560 Struggles, yes, or real because his job was so intense and 274 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,480 things that he had to think about like anti terrorism kind 275 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:06,320 of things would affect him. You know, he was and he is our 276 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,600 spiritual leader, my spiritual leader, but I missed. 277 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,280 We complement one another in that. 278 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:15,960 I think at times he's stronger and at times I'm stronger and 279 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,920 that's with everything that we face. 280 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,320 And that's just kind of how it has worked. 281 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,640 Like our first year was our our worst year. 282 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,800 Every year after has just gotten better and better and better. 283 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:28,200 And we're like at 35 this March. Wow. 284 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,240 That is amazing. Yeah. 285 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:32,720 Well, you say the first years that was your heart. 286 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,680 It was so, so many people have always said that really like 287 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,760 your first year is like so hard because you're having to learn 288 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:40,960 and adjust and like come together. 289 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,680 Well, me and Greg were a little different because we like live 290 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,600 together and stuff. Do not promote, do not saying 291 00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:50,000 that it was BC, but like we lived together. 292 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,560 So like our first fear of marriage, it was rough, but it 293 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,480 was because we were already like going through infertility stuff. 294 00:14:56,480 --> 00:15:00,000 And so that played a huge part. And then we're both not like 295 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,000 seeking God, We're not. So it was just absolutely 296 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,040 horrible. But and then like now I'm like, 297 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,040 it feels like this is our first year of marriage because we're 298 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,520 both equally same page on the yes, we're like on the same page 299 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,200 now. And so like we're learning to 300 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:16,240 grow with one another. Like I feel like this is the 301 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:17,760 year. I know this is about you, but I 302 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,480 didn't turn it off. Like it's miracle what has 303 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,480 happened with you and Greg. Yes, because we've prayed for 304 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,400 this for so long. And then like, yeah, God did it. 305 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,360 Suddenly he did it. Suddenly so it's just crazy, but 306 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,600 it's like this has been the first year where it's like we're 307 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,520 we're one flesh. This is the first time that I've 308 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,680 felt one flesh. I've always heard people say 309 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,880 that like you and your husband are one flesh, you became one, 310 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,520 blah, blah, blah. And I'm like who? 311 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,880 Because me and my husband, I didn't feel that way. 312 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,560 But now that we do both follow God and we pray together, and 313 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,280 you know, I see him reading his devotion and trying to learn, 314 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:50,560 and he went. He came to church. 315 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,480 This morning with me, it was just amazing. 316 00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:56,320 Anyway, we're about to get back to you miracle, miracle after 317 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,160 miracle. Yeah. 318 00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,360 So, yeah. All right, we're going back to 319 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:03,040 you. So anyway, in that time span, do 320 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,440 y'all have like more stuff going on too that maybe you want to 321 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,760 chat about or not? Like maybe some what's some 322 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,920 prominent moments where it like grew your faith so much stronger 323 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,560 in the past? Maybe like 10-15 years? 324 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:18,640 Like what's something that is like this was gone? 325 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:25,040 So there's been many trying to think of the top ones. 326 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:31,360 One time Neil had a job and he knew it was time to leave, but 327 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,520 he didn't have the next job. And he went and asked his boss, 328 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,120 can I go to this interview? I'm feeling like, 'cause he was 329 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,960 letting him know. And he's like, no, if you leave, 330 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,800 you're done. And it was a step of faith. 331 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,120 And they said, OK, well then I'm done. 332 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,040 You know, I'd love to give you 2 weeks or whatever. 333 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:54,640 And he left not knowing. And we were fighting back, 334 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:59,320 getting our, you know, debt all cleared and working really hard. 335 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,520 We just had Tori and he went to this next job and we didn't know 336 00:17:03,520 --> 00:17:05,920 what was going to happen. And we prayed about it and he 337 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,720 thought it was the thing to do. We're not the people that are 338 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,200 like, oh, God said no, or you know what I mean? 339 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,319 We, we do use our brain to where we're not writing blank checks 340 00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:15,520 for God. We don't believe in that. 341 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:20,400 And he he got the job and it was a better job, better insurance, 342 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:24,560 better everything. And then another time Neil was 343 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,400 going to school for nursing. OK. 344 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,680 Well, job pivot, yeah. Well, you know, you're trying to 345 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,000 figure out what you want. He's he started military and 346 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,320 he's like, I don't want to do military. 347 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:37,320 Went to nursing. You know, when he was there at 348 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:41,560 nursing, he was writing his term paper and it was on, sorry, it 349 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:48,080 was on polyps and he had every symptom and went to the doctor 350 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,080 and he had a huge quarter size polyp. 351 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:54,360 And I was like, if he had not written that paper, it would 352 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:55,120 have, you would have never known. 353 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,000 No. And it has turned to cancer and 354 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,480 like we had no insurance, no nothing back then and God just 355 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,400 paid for it. Wow. 356 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,560 And I don't know where the money came from, but it was something 357 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,800 we could not afford. So things like that have 358 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,280 happened over the years, and when you know, you know there 359 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:15,240 was no other possibility and he's made it happen. 360 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,640 Wow, that's incredible. Well, going into maybe more of 361 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:21,000 this season that you are in because you've been at Southside 362 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,920 for how long, I think. You came in for 9:00. 363 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,160 Years you came, you left and then you because y'all moved 364 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:28,560 right and then you came back. No, no. 365 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,600 No, you did that. Oh, Michelle did that. 366 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,880 Michelle left. OK, I'm like how someone did 367 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:34,440 that. OK, so you've been at Southside 368 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,240 for 9:00? Years and like did. 369 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,760 You start volunteering or like did how did you get here? 370 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:43,920 So Neil's job brought him here and I did not want to come here 371 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,440 because I had this family, family church that I had been 372 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,120 working at for 14 years and had built A-Team and all that kind 373 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,600 of stuff. But our family was apart for a 374 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:59,800 year and that was not good. So we came and we moved here and 375 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:03,200 Neil had been going to Southside and I went and I was like, I 376 00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:04,880 don't want to go here, I want to go, yeah. 377 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,280 It's just not my church. I just, it's not the thing. 378 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,440 But then it became the best thing ever. 379 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,960 It just felt like home. It, well, it took a while, but 380 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,520 like my kids told me one day, we don't feel like we're at church 381 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:19,880 if you're not singing worship. And then I was like, I get 382 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:24,240 involved again, OK, But I was mourning my past instead of 383 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,480 embracing my future. And so right now, I'm kind of in 384 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:33,080 a mourning period. Like, this is home, You know, 385 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,400 the church is home, the worship team is home. 386 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:41,720 I just, I feel like we've made this amazing worship team that 387 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:43,440 we could do anything we wanted to with. 388 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,960 And then now I'm starting all over and I don't know where I'm 389 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,360 going yet. And you know, I'm in the same 390 00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:51,640 boat. I don't want to be there, but 391 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:56,760 I'm being faithful to supporting my husband and it always works 392 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,760 out that way. That's good. 393 00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,280 Because I know I had peace, yeah, but I don't know what the 394 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,120 future holds. I love how you said that you 395 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,560 were just mourning your past and you couldn't look forward to 396 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:08,120 your future because there's so many times where like we don't 397 00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,760 know what's ahead. So we just keep thinking about, 398 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,200 well, back then, back then, back then, I had this, I had this. 399 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:17,840 But God has something so much bigger than what we can imagine. 400 00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:20,680 You know, as long as we're faithful and we're obedient to 401 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,720 what he's called us to do. And like for your husband, you 402 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,600 know, he got called to go out there, get this job and y'all 403 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:28,480 pick up and move now you have a beautiful home. 404 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,960 You have like all this stuff that's coming to fruition that 405 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,280 you really have been just dreaming of and like it was 406 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,400 because of your obedience to go with him so. 407 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,600 So I'm just waiting for the next have. 408 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,200 Y'all been trying out in churches or? 409 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,200 Yeah, I'm just waiting to, I need to like speak with the 410 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,920 pastors, you know, kind of see what their their passions are, 411 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:51,760 futures are. Do they need any help or do we 412 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,160 connect in a level of what the future is, you know? 413 00:20:55,640 --> 00:21:00,120 With your personality, OK, so when you go to these churches, 414 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,680 because you are more like, you know, you're going to ask, 415 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,360 you're going to seek you like you're going to try to make 416 00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:07,320 connections and stuff. So like I remember before you 417 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,120 left, you said that you might want to take a break with the 418 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,240 worship side of things. Like you just want to join a 419 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,720 church, go to church and stuff like that. 420 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,760 Do you still feel like that? And then how like, how do you 421 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,280 just sit down because you've been doing it so long, you know, 422 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,880 So like I know you said you're mourning it kind of, but like, 423 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:28,000 how are you doing it? So I've been there six months. 424 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:32,200 I'm done with the waiting. Yeah, that was enough. 425 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,040 Well. I'm not done with the waiting on 426 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,360 God. Yeah, I'm like, OK, I'm ready to 427 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,000 get involved. I'm ready to find my home church 428 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:40,760 because that's a part of my life. 429 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,800 Yeah. And it feels so many spots that 430 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:49,560 I need, like, community and like getting out in the community, 431 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:52,640 doing things and making a difference because just sitting 432 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,560 in my house doesn't do anything. Like I've been reading my Bible 433 00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:03,000 every day doing a Bible study. I just, I've, I've started doing 434 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,280 just reading a chapter like an Ezekiel. 435 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,520 That's why it's a weird chapter to be in, but that's what I'm in 436 00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:10,960 an Ezekiel and it's a concordance Bible and it kind of 437 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:13,320 gives me background so I can understand it. 438 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,520 And I just write down my thoughts and a prayer to God and 439 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:21,200 it has done wonders. Like why would you get so much 440 00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:27,080 out of Ezekiel? It's bad news, you know, but God 441 00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,560 shows up and shows me who he is. And I think it's a time for my 442 00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:35,360 mind to just get rooted like you're talking about rooted. 443 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,800 It's a time for me to just dig in, you know, get my cleats in 444 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,000 and know where I stand no matter what's around me. 445 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,920 Because sometimes I can, I can just go, you know, with the wind 446 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:50,440 and not I'm just depressed. I mean, everybody can get 447 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,600 depressed. Have you don't have it? 448 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,360 Yeah. Have you like made any friends 449 00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,560 out and like your new town? What? 450 00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:57,280 Where? Where are you? 451 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,520 Leesburg, Leesburg, Leesburg. And like, I have family there, 452 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,800 yeah, but they're only there on the weekend. 453 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,200 Yeah. So that's like their guest house 454 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,200 or vacation house or whatever. So I'm there permanent. 455 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,880 So I've got to find, you know, label. 456 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,680 Yeah, my people and. Place when you're here, you were 457 00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,400 in like a women's small group, did you? 458 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,360 Were you and Neil were in a group too, weren't you? 459 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,760 So you're in multiple groups. You were always meeting. 460 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,920 And so now God's kind of called you into the season of isolation 461 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,080 where like you're truly jumping in the word, learning more and 462 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,640 growing, but also you just are lacking that community right 463 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,600 now. But both are necessary, yeah. 464 00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:36,640 You know, worship while you're waiting in that a song or 465 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:38,800 something in. That song or something? 466 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,520 I think it is a song. Yes, one thing that I actually 467 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,920 talked to Megan about when she came on here, because I feel 468 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:48,560 like this is such a big thing. I already acted like I could say 469 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,320 right, but like if I really could, I just feel like it would 470 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,720 be so hard to like posture your heart correctly. 471 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,480 I don't struggle with this right now. 472 00:23:57,480 --> 00:24:00,160 Well, I mean, I do hang on, I'm I'm getting off track. 473 00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,040 How do you get up there and actually like worship sometimes 474 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,800 and be in that mindset instead of performance, I guess Like how 475 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,000 would you like talk about that, I guess? 476 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,240 So hang. On one more thing, especially in 477 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,840 today's types of church like Southside with we do have the 478 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,920 lights, we do have the stuff. And so sometimes I know like 479 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,280 I've heard people say something about like, oh, it's a light 480 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,480 show where it's a performance and it's like, how do you, how 481 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:31,160 would you combat that, I guess? So when I'm leading worship, you 482 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,320 know, you talked about, you just think about people and you don't 483 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,200 want to raise your hand. You don't want to look like, oh, 484 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,520 she thinks she's that or whatever. 485 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:43,680 But when I worship at home alone with God, when I get on the 486 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,800 stage, it's just an extension of that. 487 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:49,920 So if I have not had time with him at home, it can become a 488 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,320 performance. You know, and a lot of things I 489 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,200 talked about with my worship leaders that I've trained is do 490 00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,240 it till you can't do it wrong because then you're not thinking 491 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,760 about the lights or what's happening next because you can 492 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,000 just follow what God has you to do. 493 00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:11,080 There is some structure like that, but if it's just, we call 494 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:15,200 it back brain at Southside. If it's back brain knowledge 495 00:25:15,200 --> 00:25:18,120 where you don't have to think about it all the time, you're 496 00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,400 more free to worship. If you know your songs, If you 497 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,680 know it, like what does that song mean to you? 498 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,240 If you don't know what it means to you, you can't deliver it, 499 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,040 you know? So think about your favorite 500 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,560 song. A beautiful name every time. 501 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:34,160 Every time. And you know what that songs 502 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:35,480 mean? That song means to you. 503 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,440 So for me, every song I sing, I want it to mean something to me, 504 00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,360 even if I don't like it. Yeah. 505 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,720 What is it saying to me? And if I. 506 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:49,240 And when I'm up there, my whole goal is to bring like, if I see 507 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:50,600 someone like this. Yeah. 508 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,440 And they do that. Wow. 509 00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:55,560 Yeah, they don't have to be, you know, all over the place. 510 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,760 Just relax. Like if they just open up 511 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,840 because this is a I'm shut off. Yeah. 512 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:03,000 You know, and if they do this and their mouth starts moving, 513 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,880 singing, that is a huge milestone, you know, and and 514 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:11,080 it's not about me bringing them, but it's about me being 515 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,120 faithful, saying, hey, I'm inviting you down here. 516 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:16,160 This is a worship time for all of us. 517 00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:21,640 Like Matt was preaching about today, you know, and that is 518 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,080 passion for me. I love how you said about the 519 00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,760 closed off, the crisscross arms or whatever, because I do feel 520 00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:29,640 like that sometimes, like I'll be sitting there and then I'll, 521 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,120 I'm like, not during worship because you know, I'm all in, 522 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:35,600 but like sometimes just sitting there, I'll, I'll crisscross and 523 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,480 I'm like, I'm so closed off. Like how can you know? 524 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,840 Like I want to be able to be open to receive. 525 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,240 And so I like the way that you think like that too, because 526 00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:44,880 I've made that comment to people and they're like, what are you 527 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:45,840 talking about? I'm just sitting. 528 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:50,400 I'm like, no, you're not. Your body tells what you're 529 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,480 feeling. And I mean, they have whole 530 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,480 studies about that. You're lying. 531 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,680 Your head went to the left or your head went left, you know? 532 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:00,040 Your eyes caught over there and I'm like, sometimes I do because 533 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:01,440 I'm thinking. I'm like, where do I lie? 534 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,800 Or you say yes, yes, and your head's saying no. 535 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:08,960 That's good. You know, I was so sad because I 536 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,200 did have to run out to go to Byron today, and I saw that. 537 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:13,720 What a beautiful name was on the playlist. 538 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,480 I'm going to go back and watch. Hey. 539 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,800 And we sang it. I think it's not the whole song. 540 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,520 That I. Know it was mashed up but. 541 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,000 Yeah, I don't know. Was it? 542 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:25,480 He has no rival. Yeah, Oh my God, Singapore. 543 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,160 No, not on, not where. It's in my ear where I can hear. 544 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:30,120 You on? I hear you. 545 00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:33,880 All right, how exactly maybe would you like to close this? 546 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:37,560 Maybe with some piece of advice, maybe something that you haven't 547 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,440 got to talk about, or maybe just something that's been heavy on 548 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:41,920 your heart that you would like to voice? 549 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,280 Or maybe you just like have something just random that God's 550 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,400 revealed to you more recently? How do you want to? 551 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,160 I don't know. I just think about God's 552 00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:57,360 faithfulness and that if I look back, He's never failed me. 553 00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:02,800 So when I think about this uncertain time that I'm in, I 554 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:06,320 can cry and lean on Him more. Yeah. 555 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,240 And I think that's where he wants me right now, you know, 556 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,800 and still I'll get that anxiety thing of what do you want me to 557 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:17,160 tell? Please tell me what you want me 558 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,480 to do. And then I'm so focused on me, I 559 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,880 forget that he's doing something already that I can't see. 560 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:33,800 And I know I don't have everything that I need right now 561 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:40,320 or that I think I need. But having him carry me through 562 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,200 all of these things, He's carried me through so many 563 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:44,880 things. I think about my dad. 564 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:50,760 I think about children, disappointments and God has 565 00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,440 always, always made a way, you know? 566 00:28:54,560 --> 00:29:00,080 And so part of me is excited to see what he's going to do, 567 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,800 nervous because he always calls you out of your comfort zone. 568 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:06,840 He has always called me out of mine. 569 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:11,040 And so I don't like to be out of a comfort zone. 570 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,200 You like a rhythm a good. Routine. 571 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,520 I like to know what's happening. I like to create. 572 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:21,440 I like to do, you know, just do it, but know what I'm doing. 573 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,560 Yeah, I don't like to be thrown out there. 574 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:25,440 I don't think a lot of us do like. 575 00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:27,480 I do like change, especially like. 576 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,520 Furniture, well, different. Kidding. 577 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,840 I'm kidding. But like, no really. 578 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,440 I do like to change it up because I like to like have 579 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:40,760 different assets, I guess, or skills, skills I like to learn. 580 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,000 I do too. I do too. 581 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:45,720 And so I'm constantly like my job resume, like if I really 582 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,760 laid things out, I've got tried so many different things, but 583 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,800 now I know that God has called me here. 584 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:53,920 But for you, you're like, I just don't know what's coming next 585 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,000 because he always has just like, tried to throw something at you. 586 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:01,120 Yeah, it's different, Yeah. Really grow you honestly well. 587 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,600 I don't think we ever stopped grow ever. 588 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:07,080 Not unless we're dumb. All right, I don't want to stop 589 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,760 growing like I want to be better than I was just right like that 590 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,240 is such a big thing. What is your personality yellow 591 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,760 No yes, you do you have that's got to be your strawberry. 592 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:17,480 You're. I'm saying do. 593 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,280 You're trio, you have a whole 3. They're all equal. 594 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,840 Green blue is me. Wow, I would have thought you 595 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,240 for sure had a yellow. I have a little bit, but not as 596 00:30:26,240 --> 00:30:27,720 much as like you. Yeah. 597 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,520 Well, so that is a little. Blue. 598 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:35,200 The blue thing too then is you want to know, you want to have 599 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:36,400 those. Yes, I do. 600 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:39,080 Check the boxes. You want to know what's to come, 601 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,280 all the analytic side of it, Yeah. 602 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,760 So you said that's a learned skill to be yes. 603 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,760 Yeah, yellow and red has been learned in the world. 604 00:30:48,360 --> 00:30:51,720 Because I told you I'll shy away, but I can do a red if I 605 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,600 need to. I know and I do love that 606 00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:56,000 because I've told you I like to work with you because you can 607 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,920 put it in order, but that also goes back and forth with your 608 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,760 blue because some people are like, I feel like we're just 609 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,400 people don't understand what these colors are, but we're 610 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:06,520 vibing, yes. I know exactly what you talking 611 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,280 about. Yes, OK, Anyway, I think this 612 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,880 has been absolutely incredible. I think that people are really 613 00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,600 going to take away from just like God being so faithful in 614 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:19,200 different chapters of your life, even when you don't see what's. 615 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:22,120 To come. I want people to know it is not 616 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:26,560 a bed of roses. I have been through stuff, you 617 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,000 know, some stuff I won't, I won't share because it would 618 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,760 take all day. But it is not a bed of roses and 619 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:35,880 you haven't paid your dues and you're going to go through, I'm 620 00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:37,600 going to go through more and more stuff. 621 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:40,760 But God is still faithful, and God is to He's still there. 622 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,960 And just you being raised in church does not take away from 623 00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,440 the struggles and the temptations and all this stuff. 624 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:53,040 Exactly because I think, I used to think I can never sin. 625 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,640 I have to never sin. Well, that's impossible. 626 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,440 But I was taught that you could control that. 627 00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,640 And then I thought, I'll never be good enough, which I can't 628 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,080 be, and I never will be. But I will continue to make 629 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,280 mistakes over and over. And his grace is enough and 630 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,560 sufficient for me. Amen. 631 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:10,640 So I love it. Yeah. 632 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:11,400 All right, girl. All. 633 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:12,480 Right. I think that's about it. 634 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,440 OK. All right, guys, I hope you 635 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:16,800 enjoyed this as much as I have. This has been absolutely 636 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,360 incredible. So stay tuned, stay blessed, and 637 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:20,360 we'll see you guys later. Bye.