1 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,360 What's up guys? My name is Alexis, your host 2 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,560 with praises in the pot, and I am so excited to be here with 3 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,960 Brandy Chapman. We are going to be talking about 4 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:24,080 all things God and what he has done in her life. 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,160 And so it's just going to be an awesome story that I cannot wait 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,400 for y'all to hear. I can't wait to dive in more 7 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:31,480 myself. And so yeah, we're going to 8 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,160 start off in prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 9 00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,080 So here we go. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 10 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:38,080 for today and all of your many blessings. 11 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,840 Dear God, thank you for this space where we can come and talk 12 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,960 about your goodness and your faithfulness and what you've 13 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:46,520 done in our lives. Lord God, we just praise you and 14 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,360 thank you for that. We pray that you speak to us and 15 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,800 through US today that you call them any nerves. 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,600 And I just pray that we yield to your spirit that you lead this 17 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,120 conversation and have us talk about things that you would like 18 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,880 other people to hear about what we have overcome because of you, 19 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,720 Lord God, and what Brandy has as went through, but she overcame 20 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,520 it because of you. We just pray that you speak to 21 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,400 us and through us and let this glorify you. 22 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,080 In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 23 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:14,480 Amen. Amen. 24 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:19,160 So let's jump right in. Oh, and fair warning, if you're 25 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,400 a watcher, I did get a spray tan today. 26 00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:24,400 So just mind your business, OK? Just mind your business. 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,680 I haven't showered yet, so I'm looking a little funky. 28 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,440 It's OK. So Brandy, about you start off a 29 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,800 little bit in your childhood and tell us a little bit about that. 30 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:38,880 Like how did you grow up? OK, so I was, I was born and 31 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:42,200 raised in Cumming, GA. You know, it's North Georgia, 32 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:45,800 northern Georgia. I was raised in church. 33 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:52,480 I remember when I was 10, giving my life to the Lord, I remember 34 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,960 just feeling we were, we were actually, our church was hosting 35 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,560 A revival. So we were at revival and at 36 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,720 Mount Taylor Baptist Church. And I remember just feeling this 37 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:08,360 heavy pounding in my heart and it just wouldn't go away. 38 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:13,480 And so I remember that I remember my daddy hold my hand 39 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,880 and me telling him, you know, I, I feel like I need to get be 40 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:19,720 saved. And so he went to the altar with 41 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,560 me and I gave my life to the Lord. 42 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,240 And I just remember like my daddy holding me because I was 43 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:30,880 little, you know, and I and I that that's a was a pivotal 44 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,920 moment in my life. You know what? 45 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,480 I was in church from that point forward. 46 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:42,920 You know, in high school, I did your normal, stupid high school 47 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,680 things. But, you know, it wasn't 48 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:48,600 horrible. You know, I guess you're 49 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,760 regular, you know? Yeah, I was a cheerleader and. 50 00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:54,320 Were you still like, actively going to church and stuff? 51 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,280 Yeah, high school. Yeah, I was definitely in 52 00:02:57,280 --> 00:03:04,440 church, but I wasn't like going to, you know, Sunday school all 53 00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:08,480 the time and like, you know, like my boys now they're in 54 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,280 Bible studies and stuff like that. 55 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,680 That that wasn't who I was. You're just there on that Sunday 56 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:15,160 morning. And Sunday morning girl. 57 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:20,240 OK so after high school you know when now I know you're married? 58 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:24,040 Previously, when did you and your ex-husband like, start 59 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,120 dating? So we started dating right 60 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,320 before I turned 21. Yeah, it wasn't long before I 61 00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:36,200 turned 21. We dated for, I think 2 1/2 62 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:41,280 years before we got married. No, not quite. 63 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:46,720 Anyway, somewhere in there I had our first son when I was 25, 64 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:52,400 Judson, second son when I was 27. 65 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:57,760 They're 15 1/2 months apart, 'cause I was that math doesn't 66 00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,760 math. But anyway, that is what it what 67 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,080 it was it. Was that? 68 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,520 It might not seem what I did, but it was. 69 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,000 That the math doesn't math, but that's what way it is. 70 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:06,840 Because I remember having them that close. 71 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:11,200 Together. And then my son James, our son 72 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:16,440 James came along, and Jane Judson and John Michael were 73 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:21,120 thankfully, you know, looking back on it, as hard as it was, I 74 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,600 sound so hoarse. Let me get some water. 75 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,560 Well, one of your sons just got married, so you're still 76 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,520 probably recovering from the wedding and stuff like that. 77 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,880 I am a then a hectic, but wonderful, wonderful few weeks 78 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,440 also. So Yep. 79 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:43,080 So looking back, like I know that that God let Judson and Joe 80 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:44,720 Michael be that close for a reason. 81 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:48,560 They would need each other. I remember when I found out I 82 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,680 was pregnant with Joe Michael, like just being so upset 83 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,360 thinking what have I done to Judson because he was, he was 84 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,760 six months old when I found out. So I was like, Oh my gosh, this 85 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,480 is horrible. But again, looking back, they 86 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:04,000 they were going to need each other that that bond that they 87 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:09,360 have always shared and still do. What's their age gap from James 88 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,720 did you say? That no, I did not. 89 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:17,600 So Jay Judson turned 4 on December 21st and James was born 90 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,920 on December 30th, OK. And then John Michael turned 3 91 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,840 that March, OK. So about three and four years. 92 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:29,400 All right, So while you're pregnant with James, because the 93 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,400 audience or the listeners don't know this, but James does have 94 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,880 James doesn't have a disability. And so did you already know or 95 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:40,120 how did that all come about? I don't know if that's the right 96 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,320 wording or Yeah. OK. 97 00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:42,600 No, no, no, that's good. Yeah. 98 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:49,360 So when I was 27 weeks pregnant, I spotted a couple of times and 99 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,440 so I went to the doctor just to get checked. 100 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,680 I didn't, you know, I mean, it was my third pregnancy, so I 101 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,600 thought I I'd spotted once and then I didn't do anything. 102 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,480 So I was like, ah, it's nothing, you know, whatever. 103 00:06:02,680 --> 00:06:05,240 Second time I was like, OK, let me go see what? 104 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:09,240 Make sure everything's OK. So I went up there like one 105 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:15,080 afternoon and they did an ultrasound and said that he had 106 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:18,480 really short femurs and thought he had downs. 107 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,160 So they said we're going to make you an appointment at the 108 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:26,960 perinatologist and make him. And of course I was like crying 109 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,720 and upset and everything. I'm at home. 110 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:33,840 Later that night my doctor called me because he was like 111 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,160 delivering babies or something. So just the ultrasound lady was 112 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,960 the one doing it. The way he daughter Barnes 113 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,400 called me and he said that he had reviewed everything and that 114 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:46,440 I could not wait to get in without your body. 115 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,560 He was sending me that was the peritologist. 116 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:52,320 He was sending me to Atlanta the next day, so. 117 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,160 That's so alarming. Yes, it's scary because one, 118 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:59,160 you're 27 weeks, you've been spotting and now he's calling, 119 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,080 you know? At night, Yes, yes, OK, yes. 120 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,240 Tell me. Send me to Atlanta. 121 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:10,600 So we go to Atlanta and they did this super long ultrasound, you 122 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,200 know, where they like check everything. 123 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:18,120 He came in and he said that the baby had a form of dwarfism. 124 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,200 They didn't know what kind. That he would either die in 125 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,720 utero or he would die when I had him. 126 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:27,960 That I was too far along in Georgia to abort, but I could go 127 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,760 to Kansas. I just told you I got a spray 128 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:35,080 tan. I wasn't prepared for that 129 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:41,040 Brandy. OK, so how what are your 130 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:45,600 emotions? Obviously that is false. 131 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:50,160 We know that James is a beautiful 19 year old boy, but 132 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:54,520 at that time, I mean what? What is life looking like then? 133 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,120 What's your relationship with God at this time? 134 00:07:58,120 --> 00:07:59,840 What is? What does this look like? 135 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:06,800 Well, thankfully I was. I was in a good place in my 136 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,120 spiritual, spiritual walk. Pretty good place. 137 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:15,080 That obviously kicked me in the gut a little bit. 138 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:20,320 Yeah. Made me question why, you know, 139 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,800 because also at the time, like my sister was pregnant, my 140 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,720 sister-in-law was pregnant. Everything was great, you know, 141 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:32,480 and so it's, it's hard when you've got a lot of not, not 142 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,159 that I didn't want them to have healthy babies. 143 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:37,559 Obviously I did. But I'm sitting over here going 144 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:41,080 to Atlanta every week, you know, having all these tests run. 145 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:49,440 But my, my cousin told me, she still says, I remember she's, 146 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,960 she's a nurse. She said, I remember you telling 147 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,160 me, I just want him be able to be able to tell me if 148 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,760 something's wrong. And that was a big prayer of 149 00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:03,080 mine, you know, that he could, if he was hurting, if he was 150 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:05,640 sick, he could tell me so I could try to fix it. 151 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:09,840 The rest of the pregnancy was difficult. 152 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:13,320 It was obviously very emotional. I didn't know what was going to 153 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:18,400 happen, you know? I mean, did you ever think about 154 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,640 going to Kansas? Home. 155 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:20,760 No. OK, I hope you know. 156 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:25,000 No, no, I mean I remember laying on that table or sitting on the 157 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,920 table after they were finished with everything. 158 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:34,320 Excuse me. And just, you know, hysterically 159 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:39,200 crying, 'cause he just told me I should probably abort my baby 160 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:44,960 and that wasn't happening. But and just the unknown. 161 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,200 Yeah. I mean, it's, it was, it was 162 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:49,800 horrible. I mean, it was, it was a 163 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:52,440 horrible time. So the next few months, you said 164 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,320 you're like traveling back and forth, always having to do scans 165 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,920 and stuff. And So what did labor look like? 166 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:03,760 So they took him at 38 weeks in Atlanta at Northside. 167 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,960 They had to have a controlled delivery is what they called it. 168 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:11,160 So they did take him by C-section and they had, you 169 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:16,040 know, basically the NICU team in there and they, they had to 170 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,360 intubate him immediately, but they had prepared us for that 171 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,280 because, because they had did a couple of amnios to check his 172 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,640 lungs and they said his lungs were not ready. 173 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,360 They weren't going to be ready. So be prepared. 174 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:33,280 So they took him. They, they did let me, they, 175 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,920 they like held him up really quickly so I could see his face. 176 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:42,520 Cutest little thing. I mean just he was 1616 1/2 177 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,240 inches long, so he was. Oh wow, yes. 178 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,000 He was like, yeah, but he was. But he was 7 lbs. 179 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:50,440 Oh, there he was like a little football. 180 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:53,840 He was like a little fat little, you know, it's precious. 181 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,680 I mean, you know, just precious little beautiful baby. 182 00:10:56,680 --> 00:11:01,400 But so they took him. He was in the NICU for 2 1/2 183 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,680 weeks. They tried him so. 184 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,200 Already beating the odds of what the. 185 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,520 Daughter said, yeah, oh, yeah, already. 186 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:13,560 We, we found out, you know, a couple of things and they're 187 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,320 like, he had a cleft palate, not lip, but the palate. 188 00:11:16,320 --> 00:11:20,080 So he had to be on a special feeder, all that kind of stuff. 189 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,800 The thing they could not diagnose him in Atlanta. 190 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,240 They ran tests. The geneticist, you know, got 191 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,720 involved in everything. They couldn't truly diagnose him 192 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,800 to figure out exactly what he had. 193 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,560 So we ended up going to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. 194 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,280 We started going up there when he was six months old. 195 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,480 Y'all still got there. Now we actually go to Delaware 196 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:44,440 now, to Wilmington, to another hospital. 197 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,320 So horseback to awful some awful. 198 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:53,320 You're fine. So sorry, I hate allergies. 199 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:59,960 Anyway, so we went to Hopkins. They ended up sending his DNA to 200 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:04,000 Japan because they could not diagnose him either. 201 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,720 Wow. So I mean, did they have like 202 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:11,120 any type of idea at this point or they were just like we, we 203 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:14,400 don't want to tell you something and then it just be wrong. 204 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,200 So they're trying to figure out exactly. 205 00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:21,200 Well, they knew it was dwarfism and they knew it was something 206 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,360 rare they were thinking. I remember them saying it was 207 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:29,160 something in the Spondyloe family, but they just weren't, 208 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,680 they really weren't sure because he wasn't fitting, like in a 209 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,440 specific category. Yeah. 210 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:40,280 So they sent his DNA to Japan, came back that he has something 211 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,080 called Spondylo epimetaphosal dysplasia. 212 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,160 That's a tongue twister. It is. 213 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:53,000 I can actually spell it if I think, but but even with that, 214 00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,600 there is there are subtypes and he doesn't fit into one specific 215 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:03,120 subtype. So but yeah, so his type of 216 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:09,840 dwarfism, like he's just little all over, you know, with like 217 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,880 achondroplasia, which is your most common type of dwarfism. 218 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:18,320 You see, they have the longer trunk, but shorter let you know 219 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,200 limbs. But that's not James. 220 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:25,080 Like his trunk and his limbs are shorter so. 221 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,000 We. We find the orthopedic surgeon 222 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,000 there and we think we're going to go with and what And we did, 223 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:39,040 we we went with him to do James's first C spine fusion. 224 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:44,720 James was 2 because he had instability in his neck. 225 00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:49,160 So we went in when he was 2 to have that surgery, and he came 226 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,680 out of that surgery paralyzed. Wow. 227 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,680 He had just started walking a little bit. 228 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:57,880 Yeah. So that was very difficult. 229 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:05,040 Was it like due to the doctors and the surgery or it was that 230 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,320 already like a possibility? What? 231 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,880 Well. You know they you sign your life 232 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,800 away when you're doing a surgery like that. 233 00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:18,640 But at the time we didn't know. We, they did not, they did not 234 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,080 know what caused it. They could not tell. 235 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:24,440 Well, they could not tell. They did not tell us what caused 236 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:28,440 it. So that was when he was 2. 237 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:34,240 When he was 3, James and I went back to Baltimore for, to this 238 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,720 place called Kennedy Krieger Spinal Cord Institute to try to 239 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,800 figure it out because nobody could give us any answers. 240 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,360 So that's when he was three. We went up there. 241 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:50,920 He got sick. It was in February and to make a 242 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:57,160 really Long story short, he ended up with RSV and pneumonia 243 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:01,320 and he was on life. Support for eight weeks. 244 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:09,200 Oh my goodness, I well. That was that was one of those 245 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:17,280 points in my life that I mean, honestly, like if, if, if I 246 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:20,880 would not have leaned on God, I I don't know that I would have 247 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,960 made it. I go ahead. 248 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,760 I know at this point, because we've already been talking about 249 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:30,360 how you're having to travel a lot with James and, and just 250 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:34,520 always at the doctor basically. And there's been a lot of things 251 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:36,280 that have happened in just three years. 252 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:42,120 So how are your older boys during this and like who's 253 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,440 taking care of them and who's and how are they reacting and 254 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,720 kind of feeling in these in these times? 255 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:54,640 They were really strong and again, I go back to thank God 256 00:15:54,640 --> 00:16:00,320 they had each other built in, best friends and my Mama and my 257 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,440 daddy and you know, their dads, mom and dad helped aunts and 258 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,040 uncles. People just pitched in. 259 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,160 Yeah. And and loved on all of us. 260 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,080 Literally a village. Yeah, yeah. 261 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:15,880 I mean, it, it, it was, yeah. You know, friends stepped in, 262 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,680 people just feeding us. I mean that was. 263 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,440 I know that, like with James, that's probably having to get a 264 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:27,160 lot of your attention. And so, you know, how does that 265 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,000 work with the boys too? Like, do they feel like some 266 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,000 type of resentment at all? And I know that's their story 267 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,960 and stuff like that, but how, how is that as a mother looking 268 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:39,800 back now, you know? I mean, I definitely have had 269 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:45,680 guilt, you know, about it from time to time, but I really have 270 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:50,120 tried and of course probably failed more than I've succeeded. 271 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:56,480 But to give Judson and John Michael as much of myself as I 272 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,640 have James now, obviously that looked different because I was 273 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:05,520 taking James to therapies and doctors and all the things so, 274 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:10,680 you know, look different. But I just tried to love on him 275 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,960 and be there for them as much as I possibly could. 276 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,760 And I know they, they felt loved by me. 277 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:23,359 I mean, I know that they may have may have felt some 278 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:26,200 resentment. I honestly they've never told me 279 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,040 that. Well, another question and then 280 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,120 we're going to jump back in to what you want, OK? 281 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:35,880 But I know that obviously this is probably a big financial 282 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,320 aspect too, because y'all are traveling. 283 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,400 It's not like we're running to Macon, you know, like y'all are 284 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,280 truly having to travel across the you know US. 285 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:48,920 So how is that like? Is that a financial burden? 286 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,000 More so and I and James, I know you listen to these sometimes. 287 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,000 So please do not take it like we're saying it's a burden, but 288 00:17:55,000 --> 00:18:00,240 just as your POV, like was it like scary because it's like 289 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:04,080 bills are just packing up or? God just provided, and God 290 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,640 provided, Yeah, he did. I mean, there were, there were 291 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:13,000 definitely dark days, but you know, our family wouldn't let us 292 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:18,600 go without my, you know, mother and father-in-law at the time. 293 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,120 They they really stepped in and helped us a lot. 294 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:25,520 And we live next door to him. So she fed us a lot. 295 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:30,280 And a lot of that was due to just the time constraints 296 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,240 because I was always in the road, you know, because his 297 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,240 therapy was in Macon. So I was just always in the 298 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,880 road. So in those eight weeks that 299 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:43,600 he's on life support, what what's life looking like then? 300 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,760 I know you said you were depending on God and stuff and 301 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:51,960 like so were you in a community and not just your family but in 302 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:55,360 a group of spiritual women that were praying for y'all and 303 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,280 lifting you up and somewhere where you could talk and have 304 00:18:59,280 --> 00:19:02,320 some people in your corner? Yeah, I did. 305 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,240 I had, you know, ladies at the church and and I feel like it's 306 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,360 probably turned over so much. We were South Side then, you 307 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:15,600 know, too, but that loved on us and and I mean, they told us 308 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:19,200 that we needed to have the family come up to say goodbyes. 309 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:25,040 I mean, it was, it was like so our whole family got there and, 310 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:31,120 and I don't know, I mean, I think, yes, I know I probably 311 00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:37,960 had people that I know I did that loved on me and and us, but 312 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:42,920 it was it's it was almost like an out of body experience. 313 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,760 Yeah. I just remember the purple 314 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,120 chairs in the waiting room of I see of the, of the PICU. 315 00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:54,080 I remember the doctor. I remember exactly what he 316 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,440 looked like the main guy in the in the PICU. 317 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:07,760 I mean, there, there are. It's like flashbacks, you know? 318 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,240 I remember. They made me leave the hospital 319 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,480 one night to go to the Ronald McDonald House to sleep because 320 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,560 I wouldn't leave him. And they were like, you know, 321 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,640 you have to go. You have to go get some sleep. 322 00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:25,840 And this was before he got, this was actually before he got put 323 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,920 on life support. He was on the he was on the 324 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,640 ventilator, which is I guess a form of life support. 325 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:36,680 But I mean, he wasn't. He was serious. 326 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:37,640 Hit it. Yeah. 327 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:42,560 Yeah, Exactly. Exactly and like so we went to 328 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,720 the Ronald McDonald House and that the nurse promised me she 329 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:49,080 was like, I promise you I will call you if anything changes, I 330 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,240 will call you. And about 2:00 that morning the 331 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,760 phone rang and she said you need to get back. 332 00:20:56,640 --> 00:21:04,680 And so we called back and I ran into the through the double 333 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,640 doors there. They were willing him down the 334 00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:13,200 hall to, to move him from one part of the PICU to another 335 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:17,440 because he was like, he was, he was not good. 336 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,600 And they had put in a chest tube to try to drain some of the 337 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,080 fluid off his lungs. And and they said they're like, 338 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,440 you need to get your family up here. 339 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:31,720 This isn't, this isn't good. And so it's like weird. 340 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:39,720 It's like throughout those, those weeks, there's these weird 341 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:50,720 flashbacks even still, you know, and, but God, just he helped me. 342 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,600 I remember sitting. I mean, I would sit there in 343 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,520 those stupid purple chairs. And I would just. 344 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:03,040 Pray God, don't do this. Not this. 345 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,640 You give me anything, but not this. 346 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:11,200 Don't take my child and and good. 347 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,760 Thank you, Lord, thank you. Lord, thank you, Lord. 348 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,800 I mean, this is a miracle. I mean, really, 'cause they 349 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,320 really did. They told me three times that he 350 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,360 was not going to pull through. Wow. 351 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:28,920 So over the next few years, I guess, what does life look like? 352 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:32,080 I mean, how? Well, let's not jump completely 353 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,560 off of that. How did he get to the point 354 00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,440 where he could go home after those eight weeks? 355 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:41,080 Like was it just he needed? Was there many surgeries in that 356 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,640 or where he just needed some time to? 357 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,960 Just heal. I said, yeah, yeah. 358 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,360 Wow. They kept trying to wean him 359 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:52,360 off, you know, with the they had him on something called a 360 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:55,600 isafloorine pump. And at the time there was only 361 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,680 two hospitals that had that, that that I knew of a pediatric 362 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,720 hospitals or that would do Pediatrics. 363 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:07,240 And we were at one of them. Thank the Lord, but they just, I 364 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,480 guess maybe his body just got stronger. 365 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,320 What? No, it wasn't it was God healed. 366 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:17,560 I mean it was and just gave him the strength to to be OK. 367 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,280 And it took a long time. I mean, like they had to send me 368 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,400 home with instructions to wean him off of some of these, like 369 00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:30,120 just seriously strong medications that he was on so. 370 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:36,000 So what does the next few years look like and how, how is your 371 00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:39,080 marriage more so if that is something that could be on the 372 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,920 table that we talk about, how is that? 373 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:42,640 Because I know you're having to travel a lot. 374 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,680 You have the two boys you have or three boys, but you know 375 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:49,040 you're having to be with James all the time and all this. 376 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,760 How is your marriage at this point? 377 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:57,800 It was, we were just kind of like friends. 378 00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:05,680 I mean, not that there wasn't love there, but my sole priority 379 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:12,280 were my kids, you know, and, and a lot of Mamas, and I'm not 380 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,720 saying this is right, but a lot of Mamas put their kids before 381 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,760 everything. And I, I mean that that was me, 382 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,040 yeah. I mean, my kids still are, are 383 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:26,120 the whole world. So I, I put my kids before 384 00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:32,160 everything, including their dad. But also you put a special needs 385 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:38,720 child as one of those kids that does I have a choice, but demand 386 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,320 and it not that he did it, it's just his help demanded. 387 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:49,000 You know that literally I do everything for him and, and I 388 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:52,800 did and I would and I still do whatever any of them need, you 389 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:57,960 know? So we were OK, Not great. 390 00:24:57,960 --> 00:24:59,400 Just making it. Making it. 391 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,880 Yeah, Yeah. So I knew, I know that y'all are 392 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:10,120 together for 20 years, right? And so how does it get to 393 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,960 divorce 'cause we're going to get back into, you know, you're 394 00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,400 remarried now and stuff like that, but how does it get to the 395 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:19,800 divorce and the toll that it maybe takes on the kids and 396 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,320 stuff like that and how old they were? 397 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:27,640 So my ex-husband has addiction problems. 398 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:44,880 I had a lot of anger, resentment but through it all said I would 399 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,840 never divorce. I would never do that to my 400 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:58,000 kids. And let's see, I guess we were 401 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:04,520 maybe 16 years into our marriage, 1617 years somewhere 402 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:12,240 in there. We we were doing OK, but not 403 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:16,480 great. And I had a lot of bitterness 404 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:24,720 because every morning I would pray. 405 00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,840 That. He would be the spiritual leader 406 00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:35,800 that we needed. And I wasn't getting that. 407 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,800 And I don't know, like I just kept asking God, you know, I 408 00:26:39,800 --> 00:26:44,640 wasn't mad at God. I didn't, I, I wasn't God, you 409 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,760 know, I just was like, why isn't he doing this? 410 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:58,040 But time went on. We drifted. 411 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:08,400 I stepped out on our marriage and he was. 412 00:27:09,360 --> 00:27:12,120 Doing the things he was doing and that's his story to tell. 413 00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,480 And it snowballed. Yeah. 414 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,520 And it was really, really ugly there for the rest of the 415 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:25,480 marriage. Really really really, really 416 00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,360 ugly. Except for about 3 years you 417 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:28,960 would say yeah. Oh wow. 418 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,960 So did you kind of come to him and say you know about the 419 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:40,240 divorce or was it kind of like how did like what happened I. 420 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:46,840 On November the 11th of No. Maybe it was October, I can't 421 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:48,160 remember. Anyway, it was right. 422 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:58,280 It was fall of 2019. I said I'm done and I told my 423 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,320 boys what I had done. I wrote them a letter because I 424 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:13,520 felt shame. I felt disbelief at myself, 425 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:23,280 really, that I had fallen. And I just came to a point that 426 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:29,000 I can't fix Tom. I can't fix this marriage. 427 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:40,360 And honestly, it came to a point of I'm I'm not going to make it. 428 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:46,360 And so I left. I went and stayed with my dad. 429 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:52,040 I took James with me. Judd and John Michaels stayed 430 00:28:52,040 --> 00:29:01,480 with their dad. And that was probably the next, 431 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,480 You know, I said a while ago that when, when, when we almost 432 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,200 lost James. That was a a, a point in my life 433 00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:13,040 at just a pivotal moment in my lifetime, in my life. 434 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:22,440 The when I left Tom was the 2nd. And I think the reason was 435 00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,760 because, I mean, unfortunately in today's world, people get 436 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,160 divorced all the time. And I hate. 437 00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:31,240 That I hate that I got. Divorced. 438 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,040 I said I would never get divorced. 439 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:38,360 I wasn't going to be one of those people you never say 440 00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:44,680 never, but I went through. That that started a spiral for 441 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:48,720 me. That I felt so much shame and 442 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:58,680 guilt because of what I had done to my kids, that I mean like, it 443 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:02,280 was, it was horrible. It was a horrible season in my 444 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:07,040 life, you know, even after all I had been through with James, but 445 00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:13,720 all of his 30 something surgeries, everything, umm, I 446 00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:26,000 felt God's presence through all that and this was like I had 447 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:29,560 done this, you know, the other things that I had been through, 448 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,280 I didn't, they weren't self-inflicted. 449 00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:40,880 This one was self-inflicted. And, umm, I didn't know. 450 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,840 I did not know if I would recover. 451 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:51,480 You know, I was so angry with Tom because that wasn't the 452 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:56,280 marriage that I wanted. Because for the longest time, 453 00:30:56,560 --> 00:31:04,080 you know, I supported him. I tried to help him just 454 00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:11,400 whatever I could do and it didn't work and I don't. 455 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:17,520 Side note, I do not blame him for my sin, that was on me. 456 00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:20,360 I don't care what he did to me, did or didn't do. 457 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:27,280 I screwed up, yeah. So I own that, you know, but in 458 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:35,000 that the guilt and the shame was unbearable, absolutely 459 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:41,560 unbearable. And I mean, there were times, 460 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,280 and I know we'll talk about Nash, my, my husband when he and 461 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:52,960 I were were dating, that he would not leave me because I was 462 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,120 so broken, because of how I had broken my children. 463 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:05,040 Well, I mean that I know that takes a lot of courage to say 464 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,400 that on here, because a lot of people probably would be like, I 465 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:13,680 don't, I'm not talking about that which Abby on her podcast, 466 00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:16,320 like that was something or episode she came on originally 467 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,400 and was talking about that. And it's just it's so powerful 468 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,800 to hear. You know you, you messed up, but 469 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:27,240 you knew like that God, you came back to God. 470 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,160 You're never too far away from God. 471 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,160 And I'm sure at some point at the beginning, you probably 472 00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,520 didn't. You probably thought there's too 473 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,800 much shame, there's too much he can't have me back. 474 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:38,920 Is that correct? Or you always knew. 475 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:44,800 No, no, no, no. I I really for a while like it. 476 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,400 It was weird because I knew he loved me. 477 00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:53,280 You know, I've never, never fallen away from what the Bible 478 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:56,400 says. I say I knew he loved me. 479 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:02,840 Maybe I I don't know what I felt, but I do remember when, 480 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:12,160 when I started getting OK, I was staying in the living room and 481 00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,240 I'm sure I was falling apart about something because that's 482 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:19,080 what I did. But I swear he said to me, I 483 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:21,320 still love you. That's good. 484 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:29,080 I do. And I felt it for the first time 485 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,040 in a long time. Like it wasn't just in my head. 486 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:38,520 My heart knew that he still loved me even after it all. 487 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:45,160 And so I said she What? It's going to be OK? 488 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:54,240 Yeah, my boys will be OK. We will get through this. 489 00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:01,280 So y'all end up splitting. You took James with you, the 490 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,560 boys stayed with him, but you did tell them about it and so 491 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,639 how how did they react to to that? 492 00:34:08,639 --> 00:34:12,560 I guess more so not about that, but just about y'all splitting. 493 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,280 Well, they, no, I mean they were angry with me. 494 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:18,000 Because I did. Not tell them anything about 495 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:22,080 their dad. Their whole life I had protected 496 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:27,239 them from knowing anything about anything negative. 497 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:31,280 About their dad and I didn't tell him that because it wasn't 498 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:35,760 my place to tell. And so they blame, totally 499 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:43,679 blamed me for a long time. And that was, that was really 500 00:34:43,679 --> 00:34:48,040 hard knowing that, yeah, well, I screwed up. 501 00:34:48,679 --> 00:34:51,920 This was not all my fault. You know, there was a lot of 502 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:57,920 damage, a lot of damage done to me, a lot of damage done to me. 503 00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,080 But. But that wasn't my place to tell 504 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:08,200 them that. And unfortunately, Judd and Joe 505 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,080 Michael, I had to figure that out on their own, which broke my 506 00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:16,880 heart too, because it broke their heart. 507 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:24,880 Umm. And so I, you know, they're 24 508 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:30,160 and 23, almost 20 now. I'm just almost 24 anyway, 509 00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,720 however all my kids are. They're all running together 510 00:35:33,720 --> 00:35:35,880 right now. Just cut cut me some slack. 511 00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,520 That's right. They're somewhat grown, yeah. 512 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:44,960 Umm. And all I can do is love them 513 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:51,160 where they are and support them as best as I can. 514 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:53,600 And and they know I mean, I'm that mom that. 515 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,760 Does anything just it's, it's really ridiculous and over the 516 00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:58,840 top. I mean, I know that. 517 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,920 It is but. You know what I'm saying that. 518 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:04,320 Yeah. So they know that they've got 519 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:05,040 me. Yeah. 520 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,400 So we do know that you get remarried to Nash. 521 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,440 And so tell us a little bit about Nash, how that comes about 522 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:18,440 and we'll go from there. OK, so I actually knew Nash 523 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:20,920 there. Nothing. 524 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,640 I don't know. They didn't know him like that, 525 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,160 but I knew him. He was the SRO at Mossy Creek 526 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,240 when James was there. And James loved him. 527 00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:34,920 He loved James. He would when I would take James 528 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,480 to school in the mornings, Nash would come out and he'll get him 529 00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,240 out of the car. And like, I mean, we would, we 530 00:36:42,240 --> 00:36:44,440 would talk because I would sub at the school sometimes. 531 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:48,040 And then I actually started working up there and we would 532 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,680 talk about girls he was dating. I mean, you know, it was like 533 00:36:50,680 --> 00:36:51,760 nothing like that. Friendly. 534 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:52,600 Yeah. Oh, yeah. 535 00:36:54,480 --> 00:37:00,840 But then after I got separated. I I was like, well, that's. 536 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,760 Different. We just kind of looked at each 537 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,560 other like, oh, that's different, you know? 538 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,320 Huh. He's. 539 00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:11,520 Cute. So, yeah, I mean, we just, it 540 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:19,080 just snowballed from there and we started dating and seeing 541 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:24,280 each other and it turned into very quickly, James and I living 542 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,320 with him. The reason for it, I'm not 543 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:31,880 saying that was right, by the wayside note, but my dad lived 544 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:36,880 on the same property that Tom lived on, and that had gotten 545 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:41,360 very dysfunctional. Very, very much so. 546 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,880 Yeah. So James and I moved in with 547 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:48,680 Nash. Again, I'm not saying it was 548 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:54,720 right at all, but eventually, you know, we got married. 549 00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:59,800 We knew that if we either I was going to move out, we were going 550 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,360 to move out, or we were going to get married. 551 00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,640 Knew I wanted to marry him. He asked me. 552 00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,160 Even with our age difference, which I still don't want, but 553 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,120 whatever. It's OK girl, me and my husband 554 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:11,520 got one too. What's OK? 555 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,080 Goodness gracious, it's horrible. 556 00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:18,920 Oh my gosh. But anyway, so he's amazing. 557 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:26,320 He really is. He's It's funny how God works. 558 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:28,080 Because I don't. I don't think I don't. 559 00:38:28,240 --> 00:38:32,360 God does not ordain divorce or anything that happened. 560 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,720 I'm not saying that at all, at all. 561 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:39,760 At all. But I took something that was an 562 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,320 absolute mess. Yeah, and and made it. 563 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:44,400 Beautiful. Come on. 564 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:46,120 Yeah. Me, did you know? 565 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:49,440 He took, He took my ashes. He made them beautiful. 566 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:52,000 What is it? What is it? 567 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,960 Oh, it just left me what the enemy meant for evil. 568 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,320 He turned to go. He turned to go. 569 00:38:57,120 --> 00:38:59,920 And so I just would love to like pause right there for a second 570 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:02,760 and just say to the listeners, maybe you're going through this 571 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:06,240 hardship and you just hard time in your life where like you 572 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:10,440 don't see how this these ashes can turn to something beautiful. 573 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:12,720 And like, this is just a beautiful testimony. 574 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:16,040 If even though you you stepped out, you did things that were 575 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,840 wrong, You, you sinned against God, you did these things. 576 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,200 He's he was still there. I mean, I've been seeing so much 577 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:27,880 the past few days about Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego. 578 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,440 There we go. If you don't say him in order, 579 00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,000 you can't get and say it. That's right. 580 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,440 So. And there was a fourth man in 581 00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:36,160 the fire. Like every single time that we 582 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,200 feel like we're in the heat, we're in the furnace, we're 583 00:39:38,200 --> 00:39:41,000 going through it. He is right there. 584 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:45,400 And he can use all of this evil that came from that and all the 585 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,680 bad and the ugly and all that and turn it into something 586 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:48,520 beautiful. Yeah. 587 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,120 So, yeah, let's go back a little side note. 588 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:57,240 But yeah, so I mean, it was just so nice to hear that like y'all 589 00:39:57,240 --> 00:40:00,960 had a friendship 1st and then it kind of took off from there 590 00:40:01,240 --> 00:40:05,600 because I mean, I know that he's very special to James, right? 591 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:09,040 And like he really has stepped in and stepped up for him. 592 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:12,480 I'm sure the other boys too. But I know with James, there's 593 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,000 there's folks. It's it's yeah, absolutely. 594 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,840 James has needs that they don't have. 595 00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,400 But yeah, he's he is so good to us. 596 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:25,800 He I mean, like the love that he has for us. 597 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:28,480 And and again, even the big boys, even I call him the big 598 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:31,560 boys, Justin, Joe, Michael, I mean, do anything. 599 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,400 In the world for him. He's a good. 600 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,000 Person, I mean, he gets on my nerves sometimes. 601 00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:37,960 Don't they? They really do. 602 00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,400 But he's a, he's a really good, you know, he's a good man and he 603 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,960 loves the Lord and, and just like you see it, you see in the 604 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:46,960 way he treats people and the things he does. 605 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,480 Did he already have a relationship with Christ? 606 00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:55,120 Christ before or like he did not like as much or Yeah. 607 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:59,680 He so he was raised Methodist, which I don't know, he knows 608 00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:01,920 about all that kind of stuff. I don't really know all that or 609 00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:07,560 whatever. But so when, when we were 610 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,680 dating, I got because the boys have gone to snowbirds, you 611 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,480 know, it's when they were middle school and stuff. 612 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:15,920 And I just kept up with it. And so I told him, I said, hey, 613 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,400 there is a. Men's. 614 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:21,000 Conference at this place called Snowbird. 615 00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:23,160 I think you would probably like. It. 616 00:41:23,720 --> 00:41:26,840 And because he's like, he was an Eagle Scout and all that stuff. 617 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,560 And so then he. Would love he was snowbird. 618 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,760 Exactly so he. Went. 619 00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:36,800 And he says that that was what changed his life. 620 00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:41,840 Wow, that he went and he, you know, just turned right back to 621 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,960 the Lord, Not that he wasn't. I think he was walking away from 622 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:51,840 the Lord, but it it and he. Just like when we're not running 623 00:41:51,840 --> 00:41:55,080 towards something, it's like in the ocean, you know you're going 624 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:57,240 to get pulled. You're not going going towards 625 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,240 it. It's not working toward. 626 00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:58,760 It. That's right. 627 00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,120 That's right. So, yeah. 628 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:05,120 So that was that was a pivotal woman in his life that that made 629 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:09,760 him see what he what he wanted his life to be like and what he 630 00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,480 wanted our life to be like. That's good. 631 00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:14,840 Yeah. So in tell us a little bit about 632 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,640 what life looks like. How long have y'all been 633 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,400 married? And March will be 4 years. 634 00:42:20,400 --> 00:42:23,120 OK, so tell us a little bit about what life looks like now. 635 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:26,680 Give us a little bit of an update with James and your other 636 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:30,080 two boys and just what that family dynamic looks like. 637 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:34,440 So they're the boys. Are. 638 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:37,080 Amazing. They're doing so good. 639 00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,960 Judson, John Michael have great jobs. 640 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:45,320 Judson just built a wonderful house in Macon, which I'm mad 641 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,280 that he lives in Macon, but whatever. 642 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:53,840 John Michael just got married to Sophie and so she's wonderful 643 00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:59,960 and I'm so thankful they are they're both in a Bible study. 644 00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,720 They're both active in their churches. 645 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:08,200 James is, I mean, everybody wants to be like James. 646 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:12,200 He's he's facts. I mean, he is so strong in his 647 00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,000 faith that it is unbelievable. I mean, it really is. 648 00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:20,040 If, you know, he used to show cows when he was in high school. 649 00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:24,400 If we had to leave at 5:00 for a cow show, get him up at 3. 650 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:27,480 Mom, get me up at 3:00 so that I can have time to study my Bible. 651 00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:30,680 Yeah. I mean, he is doing Liberty 652 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,600 University online on the Dean's list. 653 00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:36,520 He graduated with honors a few years ago. 654 00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:41,320 I mean, he's really smart. Nash is owner operator, driving 655 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,640 a truck. He loves it. 656 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:46,960 It's OK. It's all. 657 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,680 Right, that's all right. Yeah, I guess he's home every 658 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:54,080 night, which he is, yeah. But I just want to go back to 659 00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:58,080 James though, the same James that that doctor tried to say 660 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:02,600 that he would pass in euro or pass the day and all the 661 00:44:02,600 --> 00:44:06,920 obstacles that have come to y'all and y'all been through all 662 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,800 the valleys and the storms and the Lord knows y'all have been 663 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:14,720 through it. The same one that could have so 664 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:19,680 many reasons so many reasons that hate the Lord or to run 665 00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:24,600 from him and not had her yet to be angry yes loves the Lord 666 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:29,320 loves the Lord loves the Lord inspires so many people wants to 667 00:44:29,320 --> 00:44:33,320 join serving teams. I didn't told you like my he 668 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:34,920 wants to join the photography team. 669 00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:40,480 He does kids like they do the Man Group the the men's thing 670 00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:43,720 and Kathleen and he's like out I'm going I'm take pictures for 671 00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:44,960 you. I'll do whatever you need me to 672 00:44:45,240 --> 00:44:47,520 do. The same person that those 673 00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:51,960 doctors said wouldn't make it. And it's like, get with give God 674 00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:52,960 a chance. They were. 675 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:56,120 Putting God in. Box because now he's an 676 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:59,960 inspiration to so many people. He tells everybody about Jesus 677 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:03,920 and his relationship and his walk and he glows Jesus and I 678 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:06,360 just love that, you know, he had No Fear. 679 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,280 None talk about Jesus. None. 680 00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:11,360 And. I think it is so important to 681 00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:14,520 know that he does serve all these places. 682 00:45:14,720 --> 00:45:18,040 And I think that's also an inspiration in itself because 683 00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:23,480 even with his disability of being in a wheelchair and all 684 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,760 this stuff, he still serves. And we have so many people that 685 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:30,120 won't take jump and do those things that have two working 686 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:31,040 legs. Yes, I know. 687 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,440 And. I mean James. 688 00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:35,760 Is just, he is just such a ray of sunshine. 689 00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:39,920 I love James for saying that he is he's he is like. 690 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:44,400 He gives hope. Yes, you know he. 691 00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:48,840 He has. Helped me to have hope you know 692 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:50,440 that's. That's. 693 00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:56,280 Something that I've held onto, I mean my whole well, since I had. 694 00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:57,120 Him. You. 695 00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:01,760 Know because. You hope for a brighter day, and 696 00:46:01,760 --> 00:46:05,000 guess what? God gives it to you. 697 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:05,880 You. You hope. 698 00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:10,280 And you pray to get. Through this and yeah, there are 699 00:46:10,280 --> 00:46:13,480 storms that sometimes are are harder than others, and trust 700 00:46:13,480 --> 00:46:17,200 me, I've been through them. But we all have. 701 00:46:17,200 --> 00:46:20,200 Our bag of crap, I call it. You know, I mean, everybody's 702 00:46:20,200 --> 00:46:25,360 got their storms that they got to deal with, but it's it's 703 00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:27,120 keeping everything in perspective. 704 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:30,360 Like, you know what, it could be worse. 705 00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:36,640 You know, my brother was murdered when he was 32 years 706 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:37,680 old. Oh, wow. 707 00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:40,200 Which was horrible. Absolutely horrible. 708 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,280 And it was just horrible. There's no other word for it but 709 00:46:43,400 --> 00:46:46,040 out of that. We have a great relationship 710 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,600 with our niece, you know what I'm saying? 711 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,840 I mean like there's like you said. 712 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,840 I mean God takes. These, these storms and these 713 00:46:54,840 --> 00:46:56,720 bad things that are meant for evil. 714 00:46:57,840 --> 00:46:59,560 But we've got to let him do. It too. 715 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:00,920 Amen. That's good. 716 00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:03,720 Yep, because we can stand. There I mean I. 717 00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:06,720 Could be mad. I'm not, you know. 718 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,960 And James, if you're listening, I love you, You're my baby. 719 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,120 But you know. We all think we're. 720 00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:16,480 Going to have this white picket fence life, You know, when we 721 00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:18,600 get married and we're going to have these kids, they're going 722 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:23,280 to, you know, wear linen khaki shorts and the white button up 723 00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,720 and skip to church. I mean, you know what I'm 724 00:47:25,720 --> 00:47:27,840 saying? And I could be bitter because 725 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:32,000 that is not my life. You know, my 19 year old, I have 726 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:35,240 to take him everywhere after driving even though so I know he 727 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,720 does have his driver's license. So I just got to give him a car. 728 00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:39,640 But that's a whole new story. Drop off. 729 00:47:39,640 --> 00:47:42,600 Yes, yes, James. And he will tell you he did. 730 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:47,880 Make a $100 driving test. But I mean so my life doesn't 731 00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:53,400 look like I wanted it to look. But God had a bigger plan. 732 00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:56,040 Yep. And God has brought me through 733 00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:01,560 the storms that I am today. I wouldn't be. 734 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:04,520 I would not be who I am today. Yeah, if not for that. 735 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:06,480 That's good. All right. 736 00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,840 So. As we get ready to close, I'm 737 00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,840 going to give you 3 options. This is how I love to close. 738 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,320 I don't know when it started that I do this, but now I'm 739 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:18,800 like, I know that it's going to be and I don't know. 740 00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:22,240 So anyway, the three options are you can give a piece of advice 741 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:24,760 to whoever you want to whatever piece of advice comes to your 742 00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:27,000 mind. Maybe God has revealed something 743 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,560 to you more recently that you just want to share, because 744 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,560 that's how we teach other people. 745 00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,200 Is if God real something to you, You got to tell somebody else 746 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,760 that. Or maybe you're you were in your 747 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,200 car on the way here and you're like, I really want to talk 748 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:42,680 about this and I haven't gave you the chance to do so. 749 00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:45,960 So how would you like to close this episode? 750 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:50,240 Let me. See if one of my little. 751 00:48:50,240 --> 00:48:53,560 Quotes can do that. So you are going to use the visa 752 00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:54,960 paddle. I don't know. 753 00:48:55,080 --> 00:49:00,040 I don't know. I can't. 754 00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:03,160 Do my things or my thing. Just move your headphone, then 755 00:49:03,320 --> 00:49:04,800 you can. Move it back. 756 00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:05,880 There you go. OK. 757 00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:14,910 OK, this is one of my quotes. OK so this isn't my quote. 758 00:49:14,910 --> 00:49:18,430 I actually read this in a book, says Stories of Redemption. 759 00:49:18,430 --> 00:49:20,950 And. Restoration bring me hope as I 760 00:49:20,950 --> 00:49:23,310 wait for God to act in my circumstances. 761 00:49:23,790 --> 00:49:27,110 And I added this whether they are self-inflicted or not, 762 00:49:28,750 --> 00:49:33,120 because that's what I've done, whether my actions, whether it 763 00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,640 was something I screwed up or whether it's things that just, 764 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:41,520 you know, James addiction and and you know, my ex husband's 765 00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:47,720 life, whatever. Holding on to that hope. 766 00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:53,160 Of a better day and knowing that God is going to act, he's going 767 00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,720 to make it better. And it may not look like we 768 00:49:55,720 --> 00:49:59,000 wanted it to look. I didn't want to get a. 769 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,480 Divorce. I didn't want my kid to be 770 00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,920 paralyzed and I have literally 37 surgeries. 771 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,280 I didn't want all that. I didn't. 772 00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:11,000 Want. My big boys to have a broken 773 00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:14,320 heart, not that James didn't, but it did affect them more 774 00:50:14,320 --> 00:50:18,720 because they were living in that situation when they found out. 775 00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:27,240 God's bigger, He's bigger and he's better, but we got to let 776 00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:28,280 him. We got to. 777 00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:30,440 Open it up, open our hearts up and let him. 778 00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:32,000 That's good. I love it. 779 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,920 This was so good. Brandy, it wasn't as bad as it 780 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:36,520 wasn't as bad as you thought, was it? 781 00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:39,120 No, because you met that. OK. 782 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,520 But I still. I don't know. 783 00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,680 It was so good I. Absolutely. 784 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:46,080 Enjoyed this, I love getting to know you better and just hearing 785 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,840 your heart behind just life and God and your testimony has just 786 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:52,720 been so good. And I know that people are truly 787 00:50:52,720 --> 00:50:56,640 going to be impacted and just inspired by this story and 788 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,760 hopefully be pushed closer to Christ. 789 00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:00,680 That's what this is all about, what it's about. 790 00:51:01,720 --> 00:51:04,160 All right, guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed this as 791 00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,320 much as we did. Make sure you like to share, 792 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:10,560 comment, braid us, whatever the good stuff is. 793 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,160 Thank you so much for tuning in. Stay tuned, stay blessed, and 794 00:51:14,160 --> 00:51:16,280 we'll see you guys next week. Bye, yeah.