1 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:15,440 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, your host of 2 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,720 Praises in the Pod, and I am so excited to be in the studio with 3 00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,040 Anissa Driggers. We are going to be talking about 4 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:23,760 her testimony and what God has done in her life, but we're 5 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,600 going to start off in prayer and then we're going to jump right 6 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:27,640 in. So here we go, Lord Heavenly 7 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,640 Father, just thank you for today and all of your many blessings. 8 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,280 Dear God, thank you for the space where we can come and talk 9 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:35,200 about your goodness and your faithfulness. 10 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,280 Dear God, we just pray that you just go before us in this 11 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:43,080 conversation, that you use us as vessels, that you speak to us 12 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,120 and through us and whatever you want, said Lord God, that we 13 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,080 don't double think it. Or. 14 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,880 You know, just try to over analyze what we're talking 15 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,800 about, Lord God, that you just go before us and you just make 16 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:57,400 the words come out of our mouth that the way that you want them 17 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,720 to. Lord God, we know that you are 18 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,480 in power over everything, Lord God, and this is exactly what 19 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,920 you were calling us to do is to share our testimonies. 20 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,400 And here we are. Lord speak to us and through US 21 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,280 in Jesus name I pray, Amen, Amen, Amen. 22 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,280 I'm gonna be honest. So when I first started 23 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:17,440 podcasting, OK, I in that prayer, I would have started 24 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:18,960 over. I would have said, Amisa, hang 25 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,760 on, I want to start over. I don't like it, but the longer 26 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,440 that I've been doing it, I just want to be more transparent. 27 00:01:25,440 --> 00:01:29,640 Not every time I feel confident in what I say either, even 28 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:33,520 though I sit down here and talk for like 2-1 or two episodes 29 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,400 every single week. I'm not crazy about what I say, 30 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,840 but it's a prayer between me and the Lord. 31 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,800 And you know, it doesn't have to be crazy, it doesn't have to be 32 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,480 great. It's just conversation and 33 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:44,920 that's what we're about to do right now. 34 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,720 Well, I'm learning too that like sometimes I say now, like 35 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,640 whatever I said, that's what God wanted me to say 'cause it just 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,480 came out it. Came out, I don't know where it 37 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,880 comes from sometimes. I remember one time I sat down 38 00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:59,960 with this girl and I had never really went through, like 39 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,200 someone confessed something to me and I didn't know what to 40 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:04,960 say. And then all of a sudden I'm 41 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,720 like, let's go on to prayer, let's go on to prayer. 42 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,720 And I just started praying and I was like, where did that come 43 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,120 from? You know, it's good, though. 44 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,560 That's good. Like, just if you don't know 45 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:12,640 what to say, pray. Yeah. 46 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,640 For sure. All right, let's talk about you. 47 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,800 OK, let's jump right in. Let's start at your childhood 48 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:18,680 and work our way. Up. 49 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,160 So tell us A. Little bit about your childhood. 50 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,720 OK, so I was raised in Cordele, GA. 51 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,440 OK, so about an hour South of here. 52 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:33,160 It was kind of rocky as a kid. My parents divorced when I was 53 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,240 11. I remember being like really 54 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,040 shocked because I never saw him argue. 55 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:40,840 I guess like my mom hid that for me. 56 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,240 But I have two younger siblings, a younger brother and a younger 57 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,040 sister. So they divorced and my dad 58 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,840 really did not come and, you know, get us on his weekends. 59 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:57,040 So I think he came a couple times, but then it just stopped 60 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:59,680 and I just remember calling him saying, hey, are you coming? 61 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,600 He'd say, yeah, I'm coming. And we'd have our bags packed 62 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:06,840 and he wouldn't show. So also as an older sibling too, 63 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:11,120 that's really hard 'cause you know, you're youngers are so 64 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,080 upset because they're not coming and then they get excited and 65 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,760 then you have to be like. Definitely. 66 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,840 That's exactly it. Yeah, because, you know, when 67 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,760 they divorced, I also felt like I kind of had to step in because 68 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,600 my mom was doing the best she could. 69 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,800 I mean, she was just working three jobs at a time. 70 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:31,040 So it was kind of like, you know, my brother and sister want 71 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:32,920 to see him. Yeah, I wanted to see him, too. 72 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,720 But like, just like you said, like I wanted him to be there 73 00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:39,400 for them. So that just kind of went on for 74 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,080 a while. He'd come every now and then, 75 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,440 but I he just. He just didn't know how to be a 76 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,760 dad. So after that my mom married 77 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,920 another guy. I wasn't so good. 78 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:56,360 So he was abusive to her. He was verbally abusive to us 79 00:03:56,360 --> 00:04:01,000 and sometimes physically to my brother mostly. 80 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,360 But it was just bad. It was really bad. 81 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,320 So she stayed with him a year and a half and I remember 82 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,960 begging her just please leave him like he is not good for us. 83 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,120 And so she finally did. So she divorced him. 84 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,880 And I know my mom's probably going to listen to this too, so 85 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:21,360 I don't want her to feel bad. Like she definitely did the best 86 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:27,120 she could with what she had. So you know, she, yeah, she's 87 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,360 working hard and. And today we're best friends. 88 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,400 Like, I just love her. And yeah, she's just like you 89 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:37,200 and your mom, so. Now in your childhood did y'all 90 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:41,280 go to church or like was it kind of just like Sundays or? 91 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:43,680 It was mainly me going to be honest with you. 92 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,960 I would hop on that church bus and go to church. 93 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:50,400 And I'm not sure exactly sure like how I started that or who 94 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,000 invited me. But I don't remember my mom 95 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,520 going like back then when she, you know, and her and my dad 96 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,400 were together. So I was probably invited by a 97 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,280 friend or something. But I would rather church was I 98 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,040 loved going to church. Like that was my safe place. 99 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,440 I felt like people love me there. 100 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,640 And you know, we do. We just had a good time. 101 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,640 So I always did that. But after the second divorce, 102 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,240 that's when my mom and us three kids started going to church 103 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:19,200 together. So we started going to church 104 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:24,000 and well before that I would go to my grandparents in the 105 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,160 summers. So that's on my dad's side. 106 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:30,800 So I'd go there and they were awesome. 107 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:35,000 Like they were just awesome. So one summer when I was 108 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,720 visiting them in the mountains, my grandfather led me to Christ 109 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,400 at 14. So that started my journey with 110 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,720 Jesus. And so I get back home and we 111 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,360 start going to church as a family. 112 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:52,240 So that was cool. And then my mom met this guy at 113 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,440 church, and he was older than her, but I could tell that he 114 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,720 was like a good man and a good Christian man. 115 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,760 And before, when I was begging her to leave the guy, this time 116 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,280 I was begging her go out with him. 117 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:05,200 Like he's. I think he's going to be a good 118 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,960 one. And, you know, we wanted a dad. 119 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,840 So she did go out with him, and they ended up getting married. 120 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,000 Yeah. I bet you were just. 121 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:16,120 I set this up. Hang on. 122 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,120 Yeah, I was. I was the one I was pushing you 123 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,040 to go with at first. I was. 124 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:27,520 And it went great, but my mom and I just argued all the time. 125 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,520 And I don't know. I don't know what it was. 126 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,960 I think it was just like a lot of pressure probably on her. 127 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,360 And I just felt so misunderstood. 128 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:40,520 I felt I had to grow up so fast. And so I ended up leaving the 129 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:42,400 house at 16. Oh, wow. 130 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,800 I always say I got kicked out. It's pretty mutual. 131 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:48,440 She told me I had to go and so I was like fine. 132 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,680 I was ready to go. I was. 133 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,080 Ready to go so. That's young, though, because 134 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,840 you look at 16, I mean, how old's your oldest granddaughter? 135 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:58,040 She's 1212. I mean, four more years. 136 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,320 Like you think about that. You are so young at 16. 137 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:03,280 So tell us a little bit about that trap. 138 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:07,200 So, you know, again, I just felt like so misunderstood. 139 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,480 I felt like, OK, now my dad didn't want me. 140 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,560 Now my mom doesn't want to be around me. 141 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:20,120 So what the heck you know? So I move out with a family 142 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,160 member. At first I moved to Florida and 143 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:24,680 then I came back and I moved with a family member. 144 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:29,080 Well, during this time I was dating a guy and it was my 145 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:32,040 oldest daughter's dad. So I'm dating him. 146 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:34,760 So he's trying to find out how I can get back from Florida so we 147 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,240 can be together still. And, you know, I think I'm in 148 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:41,040 love, you know, and so I come back and I live with that family 149 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,120 and I finished school and I actually graduate early because 150 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:47,200 I just need to get out and start working and get my own place. 151 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,200 You know, I'm OK hustler. I'm an adult. 152 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,480 I got to go, you know, so I, I do that. 153 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:57,160 I graduate early and I just get a job and I'd start start 154 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:59,480 working and providing for myself. 155 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,000 So ended up getting married to. How old were you? 156 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,480 I was 19. Yeah. 157 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,320 And you know, I just thought, well, he loves me. 158 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,680 I love him. So we're just going to get 159 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:16,680 married and I can get away from this town and that didn't that. 160 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,800 Yeah, I like it was planned. It never does. 161 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,800 It never does. Especially when you're young, 162 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,320 you like, you have all these big dreams and they're always from 163 00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:29,520 like a good place like, but you just, it's just takes experience 164 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,640 in life to really save. Definitely. 165 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,039 I was young and naive. I mean, at 19, I didn't know. 166 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,679 I thought I was grown. Yeah, but definitely not. 167 00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:42,000 I didn't pray about it, you know, I didn't see if we were 168 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,720 equally yoked. I didn't even know what that 169 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,720 meant. So here we are, Christian 170 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,840 through life, and it's just bad from the jump. 171 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,120 I mean, he's, he's lying. He's out doing all these things. 172 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:55,360 He's not coming home at night. And so I end up getting 173 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,440 pregnant. And after that, it was just more 174 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,440 of the same with him. I mean, just never there. 175 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,880 So it was just me and Aly against the world. 176 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,960 You know, we would just go and do things. 177 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,240 I would stay gone as long as I could from the house just not to 178 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,440 be around him. I didn't believe in divorce and 179 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:18,240 seeing what my mom had been through, I didn't want to do 180 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,920 that. So I really struggled with it. 181 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,920 So we were together, we dated 3 years and we were together four 182 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:28,560 years. Eventually I decided I needed to 183 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:30,880 get away. You know, I wasn't perfect in 184 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,160 the marriage either, but it was just not. 185 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:35,760 He was not going to get any better, I could tell. 186 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,200 So I filed for divorce. As soon as I did that, I felt so 187 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:42,400 guilty 'cause I'm like, I don't want Allie to have to go through 188 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:46,880 that. But I did and we were apart for 189 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,840 probably a year and then I remarried him. 190 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,840 Oh, that, that's a plot twist I was not expecting yet. 191 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:59,400 Lisa, so Ki told you earlier how I second guess everything. 192 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:04,600 This is a good example of that. Well, he come to me and he said, 193 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,200 you know, he would change and he would go to finally go to church 194 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:08,960 with me because he never went to church. 195 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:12,480 Just me and Ali going to church. So he said I'll go to church and 196 00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:15,960 I've changed and I said OK. Let's give it a word. 197 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,080 I'll do. It so everybody was against it, 198 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:21,400 my family. So we go up to the courthouse 199 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,320 and we get remarried and I'm thinking, OK, now I'll have my 200 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:29,240 stable little family. I mean, it wasn't two days. 201 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:33,080 He was back to what he was doing and it was just like a scam 202 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,880 almost. And I was like what have I done? 203 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:39,080 God, what is going on here? So then I had to file for 204 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:41,840 divorce again. Well, now I'm really feeling 205 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:49,080 guilty, like, what is going on? So after all that was over, I 206 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,560 decided, like in all this time, I'm not really like living out 207 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,440 my faith. Yeah, I love Jesus and I'm going 208 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:56,880 to church. That's that's it. 209 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:00,680 And I don't have anybody that's like mentoring me and walking 210 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:03,840 beside me. Never did really since since the 211 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,800 day I got saved, you know. So that's so important too. 212 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,280 Like side note that is so I didn't. 213 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:12,240 Want to cut you off there, but I'm like, yes, because Ivory 214 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,840 episode, I'm not playing. I talk about community, I talk 215 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,280 about these people, but you need to have someone that's pouring 216 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,640 into you and showing you how to be a godly woman. 217 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:24,480 Because if you're just guessing, I mean yes, reading the word and 218 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,880 all that, like the Lord will disciple you through that, but 219 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:29,320 you also need someone that's teaching you how to be 220 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,960 disciples. Yeah, sure. 221 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:35,280 And I mean, all I had the KGV Bible back then and I did, you 222 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:39,120 know, and going back to that, to the churches I went to were 223 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,560 like, they were all about the law and rules. 224 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,560 And so I was, I was living in fear of God pretty much my whole 225 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:49,520 life up to this point. Like I just thought if I didn't 226 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,440 do this, this and this, I was going to hell. 227 00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:54,360 Like that was it. And so every night I pray, Lord, 228 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,640 please forgive me for my sins and help me just to be a good 229 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,680 girl. And I was just scared to death. 230 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:04,480 So kind of lived through, you know, when I got the divorce, 231 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,120 scared to death. I'm going to hell now. 232 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,560 So I was just constantly praying like Lord, Lord, forgive me in 233 00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:10,920 my sins. Please forgive me, please 234 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:16,200 forgive me like my whole life. So yeah, a mentor would help, 235 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,400 you know, like, no, you know, God loves you. 236 00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,080 He, he's not like sending you to hell. 237 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,440 He's already died for you. So I didn't have anybody telling 238 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:28,040 me that. So anyway, get to divorce and 239 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:31,160 then me and Ally, we're going to church and I'm just really 240 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,040 trying to dig in. Then you know, I'm like, OK, I 241 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,480 don't need a man in my life. I don't need my dad. 242 00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,320 I don't need my first husband. I'm good. 243 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:43,320 Me, Jesus, Ally, we're good. Well, it didn't work out the 244 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,360 way. I mean we were good, but I then 245 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:51,040 I met my now husband Miss, which, you know, I was not 246 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,880 looking, but sometimes God just places, you know, somebody in 247 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,840 front of you. So I remember I used to pray 248 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,120 every night, like Lord, just please send me somebody who'll 249 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,920 love me. Like I just felt so unlovable, 250 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,840 lonely, misunderstood. I use that word a lot. 251 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,160 I just sometimes I now feel misunderstood. 252 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:15,080 But so anyway, he did send me somebody who loved me. 253 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:21,400 And, you know, it was, I don't know how to explain that we kind 254 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,480 of met in an unconventional way, but like, I know for a fact 255 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,840 that, like, God sent him to me. He loved God. 256 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,920 I remember we talked on the phone for three months before we 257 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,280 went on our first date. Wow. 258 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,720 Now, mind you, I was waiting for my divorce to be final, But. 259 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:38,440 Well, that's a way to get to know somebody because we didn't 260 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,320 have texting. Yeah. 261 00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:43,680 We were like, legit calling every night for three months. 262 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:47,440 And so I remember asking him, like, are your parents still 263 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,040 together? Are your grandparents like, is 264 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:50,560 there any divorce in your family? 265 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,120 He was like, no. And I'm like, check. 266 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,600 I don't know why I thought that was so important back then, but 267 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,800 you know, that was a check and you know, we just kind of went 268 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:02,720 through everything to see like if we were compatible because I 269 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,720 did not want to end up in 1/3 divorce. 270 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,360 Well, I mean y'all, that's it. That is such a good way to build 271 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:12,280 a foundation, like to really just become friends, talk, ask 272 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,640 these questions, like figure things out because so many 273 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:19,040 people like the eyes love that person and then yeah, get 274 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:22,160 trapped or not trap. But to sometimes, you know, and 275 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,800 you get in this relationship and then you're like this person is 276 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:28,240 not who I thought he was like, yeah, he's good looking, but do 277 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:32,360 y'all align with all the questions and learning each 278 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,920 other. So three months is a good and 279 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,240 he. Was pretty cute. 280 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,240 He is pretty cute, but I mean he was a real cute. 281 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,400 But y'all were building a friendship. 282 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,880 Or Scarer, for sure. So we ended up getting married. 283 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:48,280 We actually, so by the time we met and went on our first date, 284 00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,720 we were married within 11 months. 285 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,400 Wow. We got engaged like in six 286 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,520 months. So he had to take some time too, 287 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,480 to make sure because he's a little bit younger than me, just 288 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:00,680 a little bit, but he wanted to take some time to make sure that 289 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:05,000 he was ready for her family. And so we got married, and, you 290 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:09,960 know, things were going great. At this time, I'm still not 291 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,080 talking to my dad. And I pretty much had written 292 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:15,680 him off like, I don't need him, especially now since I had my 293 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,400 own family. I was like, I put him in a box 294 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:21,840 and I was like, I'm good, you know, I don't need you. 295 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,440 And in the meantime, my mom and I made-up. 296 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,720 So that was good. Yeah. 297 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,000 Like I say, we're best friends now. 298 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:32,560 So going back to the marriage. So me and me got married and 299 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:36,480 then soon after that we had a son, Christian, and then two 300 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:38,640 years after that we had Lizzie, our daughter. 301 00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:43,080 And you know, things were pretty great, everything was going 302 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:50,240 smoothly, we're going to church. But after some time some things 303 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,480 happened in our family and then mate got sick. 304 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:55,480 He started having like really bad headaches every day for like 305 00:15:55,480 --> 00:16:00,800 6 months and something within me felt like I was being abandoned 306 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,840 again. And mind you, I didn't know what 307 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,560 that word was at that time. I just thought he's going to 308 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,080 leave. He's going to leave me. 309 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:15,400 And so I made some really like bad choices in our marriage that 310 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:21,840 pretty much almost wrecked us. Like it if not for God, it would 311 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:27,720 have ended up in divorce. I was, I was not living for 312 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,920 Jesus, let's just say that. But thank God. 313 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:39,280 So he, God saved me from so many things that could have happened 314 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:43,040 in that situation from it going too far. 315 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:49,680 And he restored our marriage 10 times over what it was, you 316 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,400 know, and it was a work in both of our lives. 317 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:57,600 And it was definitely a struggle for several years with both of 318 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,920 us. You know, I had, I went to a lot 319 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:04,480 of counseling and this time I had people walking beside me. 320 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,280 Whereas before I felt like I didn't have anybody, this time I 321 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:11,119 had God place certain people in my life to walk through me or 322 00:17:11,119 --> 00:17:16,079 with with me through it. With now I know you said you 323 00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,880 just went to therapy and stuff like that, but now I do know 324 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:24,359 that you do take 12 step at some point is in that or this is way 325 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,400 later, way later. OK, Yeah, well, we'll get there 326 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,280 soon. Yeah, I do want to talk a little 327 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,120 bit about that. Definitely, yeah. 328 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:32,120 And we were at South Side at this point. 329 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,920 So after we got married, we lived in America. 330 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:36,960 So we moved to Warner Robins and we started going to South Side. 331 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,960 So instantly when we went to South Side, I felt like I, you 332 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,280 know, I was at home. Yeah. 333 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,040 And we got into small. Well, back then it was Sunday 334 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,400 school, but then we got into small groups right away and, you 335 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,080 know, you just really found community. 336 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,000 And it took a while to find our community. 337 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,240 I'll say that to you. Like if you feel like you're not 338 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,040 in the right group right now, keep looking because we had to 339 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,360 go through a couple to get to our people. 340 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,720 You found the church. I'm going to find the people. 341 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,720 That's right. Yeah, that's right. 342 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:14,000 So, so I'm going to counseling and, you know, I'm really 343 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,680 learning things I've never learned before. 344 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,000 And one of the things he said was you're going to have to 345 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,360 forgive your dad and you're going to have to forgive your 346 00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:27,920 first husband before you can move forward with anything and, 347 00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:30,600 and maybe your mom too, whatever you have inside of you. 348 00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,360 And I was like, well, I have forgiven. 349 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:35,480 I mean, I don't, I don't really care about him. 350 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,120 You know, I'm good. He said, no, you're going to 351 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:41,480 have to go back. And he encouraged me to write 352 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,600 him a letter of everything I would ever want to say to him 353 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,720 and then just burn it. And I thought, that is the 354 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,600 craziest thing I've ever heard. And so. 355 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,400 But I did it because I'm a rule follower. 356 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,080 Like, I'm somebody tells me to do something, I'm going to do 357 00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:55,640 it. Yeah. 358 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:57,600 So I did it. And I let Mick read it. 359 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,040 And he was like, you're not going to give that to him, are 360 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,240 you? And I'm like, no, So I burned 361 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,320 it. But I really did. 362 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:07,920 I forgave him and do you know like 2 years later on my 40th 363 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,720 birthday he wrote me a letter asking for my forgiveness and. 364 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,000 God's timing. I was like. 365 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,680 I already did, you know, and my dad actually had got into an 366 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,720 accident at work and became paralyzed. 367 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,360 I forgot to tell you about this. This was right when me and Mick 368 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:29,200 got married. So Nick said your dad's in the 369 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,680 hospital and you need to answer, you know, you need to take the 370 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:32,680 call. And I'm like, I don't want to 371 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,720 take the call. He's like, you got to take the 372 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,520 call. So you know, I went to go see 373 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,000 him and and that kind of started to look somewhat of a 374 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:45,080 relationship back with him, but it was very, very slow go and 375 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:51,040 very like, well, out of respect or he's, you know, paralyzed. 376 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,000 Now I need to that's kind of how it was. 377 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:58,160 But when I forgave him, that kind of started our relationship 378 00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:02,840 back on the right track. So that was good and always tell 379 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:05,440 people this. Forgiveness is so important 380 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:11,040 because it's like, it's that, it's that sin, you know, I'm not 381 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,520 forgiving somebody's actually sin. 382 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,640 And so when you have that, it's like holding a beach ball 383 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,120 underwater. Have you heard this 384 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,360 illustration? No, I haven't. 385 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:20,960 Come on. OK, when you're holding a beach 386 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,160 ball underwater, you know you can't hold it forever. 387 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,280 What happens when you let go of it? 388 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:29,000 It pops back up, right? That's how sin is. 389 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,120 That's how unforgiveness can be in your heart. 390 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,240 You can only hold it down for so long. 391 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,800 Wow. It's going to pop back up in 392 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,160 different areas. And most of the time I know for 393 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:41,040 me in my life, it pops back up in the choices I was making. 394 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:46,160 Because you can't go through this life with unforgiveness in 395 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,000 your heart. And who are we to have 396 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,720 unforgiveness in our heart when the Lord has forgave us of so 397 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:55,320 much? So that was one thing that 398 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,400 really, really spoke to me through the counseling. 399 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:00,280 I was like wow. That beach ball is crazy. 400 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,600 Girl, I'm saying. I'm saying because right when 401 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,440 you said it, I didn't know where we were going. 402 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,960 But I'm like, man, it's so hard to keep a beach ball underwater. 403 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,760 Like think about as a kid, like when you're pushing it. 404 00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:14,920 So when you're not forgiving someone that you're pressing as 405 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,360 hard as you can. It's how hard job not how 406 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:18,640 forgive someone, Right. Yeah. 407 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:23,080 And and I mean what easy job to not forgive them, but it's a 408 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,400 hard because it's going to continue to resurface. 409 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,520 Yeah, exactly. And even forgiving yourself. 410 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,440 Yeah, that's another thing I had to do. 411 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,160 You know, all the guilt from all the bad choices I've made. 412 00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,680 You know, that was really hard, too. 413 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,280 Shame. You feel like everybody's 414 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,480 talking about you, looking at you a certain way. 415 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,680 Who is she to be on that stage when she's done XY and Z? 416 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,160 You know, that was, that was really big during that time. 417 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:51,120 So I had to forgive myself too. And and I heard I heard somebody 418 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,680 say this too. I think it's a Neil. 419 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,320 But then he was like, it's not cheap grace that God would die 420 00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,400 on a cross for us. Like you have to accept his 421 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,600 grace. And so I love that I'm going to 422 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:06,440 heard that. So anyway, God put us back on 423 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,880 the right track. You know it, like I said, it 424 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:13,760 took several years, but praise God, our marriage is so much 425 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,560 better than it even was to begin with. 426 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:19,240 I mean, it's so good. We're so in love. 427 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,000 My kids are great. But it does take work. 428 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,360 Yeah, sure. Another thing that I learned in 429 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:29,920 counseling was, and this is probably going to be like 430 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,280 elementary, like you probably know this, but like, God die for 431 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:37,160 all of our sins, right? Our past sins, not just our past 432 00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:40,520 sins, but our present sins and the ones we're going to commit 433 00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,360 in the future, like all that's taken care of. 434 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,400 I'm like, mind blown, mind blown. 435 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,560 I literally came home from my counseling session. 436 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:50,360 I was like, I was telling Mick. I was like, hey, did you know 437 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,680 God died for your sins, like past, present and the ones 438 00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,720 you're going to commit tomorrow? He's like, yeah, yeah. 439 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,160 And so I want each of my kids. I told him, hey, did you know 440 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,360 God died for your sins, like your past ones, the ones you're 441 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:02,680 going to do today and then tomorrow? 442 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:05,800 And they're like, OK, Mom. I was just like telling 443 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:07,920 everybody. Yes, and I'm so glad you said 444 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,360 that because that is something like when I close an episode, 445 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,320 always say was something that God has revealed to you more 446 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,240 recently. And a lot of people, sometimes 447 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,480 they'll say it and sometimes they won't use that question, 448 00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,360 but that is the energy I want. Like that's what I'm looking for 449 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:26,880 because God reveals stuff and teaches us stuff so often that 450 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:30,840 we don't tell people and then somehow we bottle it up and keep 451 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,680 that information to ourself. But somebody next to you could 452 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,840 use that same piece of information and be like 453 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:40,800 miraculously revealed, you know, And so even if that seems so 454 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,280 elementary or whatever, like there's somebody probably 455 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,960 listen, they're like, Oh, I thought he only forgave me for 456 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,040 my past sins. And I heard this one time, don't 457 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,080 know, don't know if this is biblically correct or not. 458 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,760 But they're like, you don't have to continue to, you know, 459 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,880 apologize for those sins that you've already been forgiven 460 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,120 for. Like, thank you, Jesus for 461 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,800 already forgiving me of those sins, you know. 462 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,480 And so yes, confess, confess those sins to the Lord and cry 463 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,600 out to him, but also know that he has forgiven you. 464 00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:13,240 But we're going to continue to sin the rest of our life. 465 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,800 That's human nature. But those sins should be 466 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,400 evolving like it shouldn't be that same sin that we've been 467 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,640 struggling with our whole life, right? 468 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,480 Which I say that. And then I think about Paul and 469 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,800 I think it's where Paul says there's a thorn in the side like 470 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:29,560 that sin or that that mindset. I don't know. 471 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:32,080 Well, it's it's. I mean, I see what you're 472 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,800 saying. It's still about like, what are 473 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,640 you doing to try to combat that sin? 474 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,840 Like, and I, I think too of like what Pat says sometimes, like, 475 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,000 you know, you just got to put the Lord has to be king over 476 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,880 your life. Like first, if he's first, then 477 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,160 you're going to want to do right. 478 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:51,120 You know what I mean? Like you're going to, you're 479 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:55,200 going to, you may struggle with that same sin, but you're going 480 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,760 to, you're not going to feel good about it. 481 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,280 I think he said that last night. You might see him, but you're 482 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:04,480 not going to like it. So the last 15 years I've just 483 00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,480 really been trying to concentrate on just that, 484 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:13,000 putting Jesus first because I know me and I know that if I 485 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,840 leave a little crack open, that's where Satan can get out. 486 00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,680 So I try to get up every morning and spend time with him. 487 00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:23,680 And it's evolved. That's evolved over the years 488 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,200 too. You know, I used to think it's a 489 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,920 checklist, but now I literally get my coffee and I'm like, OK, 490 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,800 Jesus, what? Let's have some time together. 491 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,440 Like he, like he's sitting right there. 492 00:25:35,440 --> 00:25:40,440 You know, I think, I think that's just the most important 493 00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,600 part of the day, yeah. So which, I mean, I just started 494 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,560 rereading the Old Testament where in January, you know, a 495 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,360 lot of people do it and I'm going to finish this year or at 496 00:25:49,360 --> 00:25:51,640 least I'm going to get further, but. 497 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,760 OK, if you don't, there's grace for that. 498 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:57,680 But this go around, it's so crazy because the longer you 499 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:02,440 walk with the Lord, the more you understand what you're reading. 500 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:06,920 Because I remember I've tried to read Genesis, Exodus, all this 501 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:10,160 multiple times and it just seemed like gibberish sometime. 502 00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:13,800 And now I'm reading and I'm like, this is a story. 503 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,880 Like it truly is a story. And I've never read it in that 504 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:20,640 capacity before. I guess like now I told you last 505 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,360 night, yeah, we're talking about how the Pharaoh's heart keeps 506 00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,960 hardening, right? And I'm like, how many times 507 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,320 times? Is his. 508 00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,600 Heart gone a hard and and like we've seen how many mirrors 509 00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:34,480 miracles like the Lord is providing like Aaron literally 510 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:39,600 leaves and he's like Lord, you know, take the frogs away or 511 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:42,080 whatever and then they do and then the Pharaoh sees the 512 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:45,400 miracle and he's like, no, like it's still not enough. 513 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:47,040 Like no, y'all can't leave right. 514 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:50,840 And just there's so many times that we forget of what God has 515 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,160 shown us with our own eyes as we always talk about the 516 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,920 Israelites. What about Pharaoh? 517 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,600 Like we always were like as soon as they got out of the promised 518 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:00,720 land they forgot. And it's like Pharaoh did the 519 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,480 same exact thing. It just already started 520 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:05,400 preparing that whole story. Yeah. 521 00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:07,240 Here we go. I know it's crazy. 522 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,760 Like we, we look at, we look at some of those stories and we 523 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,960 were out about this last night where, you know, that seems so 524 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:13,720 far fetched. Yeah. 525 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,680 It's like, why? Why wouldn't they just listen to 526 00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:18,080 God? But I mean, we do that. 527 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:22,560 We're we're he might not be here in, in a, in a burning Bush or 528 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:25,400 like, but he's here. Yeah. 529 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,920 If we have Jesus in our heart, he's with us all the time and 530 00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:32,760 we're not listening. So it's the same thing, but I 531 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,480 know I just read the Bible different now. 532 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,760 I I used to not understand at all, especially with that KJB. 533 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:42,520 No, no, like shame, no shame. If if you use that, that's 534 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,240 awesome. And you are very smart. 535 00:27:44,240 --> 00:27:46,800 Yeah. But so let's talk a little bit 536 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,200 about, you know, that tough season that you and Mick were 537 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,360 walking through. You know, you got young kids. 538 00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,160 That's always hard, too because you're trying to keep it 539 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,160 together for the family. You're trying to keep it 540 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,040 together. But tell us a little bit about 541 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:00,600 that season, what that look like, because I know it's got to 542 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,480 be hard. So it was tough. 543 00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:06,520 It was, when I say hard, it was hard. 544 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:11,040 You know, a lot of marriages don't make it after stuff like 545 00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:16,320 that happens. So I credit that to Mick. 546 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:20,600 I will first God, obviously, but like always say God's appear and 547 00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:26,680 mix like right up under, like that man loved me and and loves 548 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:28,760 me. But it was hard. 549 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:31,240 I mean, it was hard. It was a lot of tears. 550 00:28:31,240 --> 00:28:35,800 It was a lot of, you know, doing whatever I could to make it 551 00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:39,600 right. And like I said, it took 552 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:44,960 probably two or three years and we're trying to hide it from 553 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,400 the, you know, from the young kids because we're, like you 554 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:52,920 said, we're trying to keep it together the house, but it's, 555 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,520 it's a struggle. And see, I think that's where 556 00:28:55,520 --> 00:29:00,000 it's like so important, Like if we go back into your early three 557 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,680 months where y'all are on the phone, you know that he's 558 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,440 walking with the Lord and his family is so important to him 559 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:08,360 and all this stuff. Like that's why it's so 560 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,960 important to really get to know someone and know that y'all are 561 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:14,840 equally yoked and stuff like that. 562 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:18,200 Because if he wasn't following with the Lord, you know, like 563 00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:19,680 what would that situation look like? 564 00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:21,400 What would y'all's family dynamic look like? 565 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,560 But he wasn't like he has patience, you know, he has, he's 566 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,560 listening to the Lord. He's trying to walk it out and 567 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,200 it's just so important. Yeah. 568 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,520 And he always, he laughs because he says he has like a slow 569 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,720 processor, you know, like one of those old computers. 570 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,120 So it did take a while, but I was patient. 571 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:41,200 I was like, whatever I had to do to keep my family together, 572 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,720 that's what I was going to do. And I just knew. 573 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,440 So kind of backing up a little bit before that whenever all 574 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:53,640 that happened, like I knew I needed to confess, but I was 575 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,960 scared obviously. And I prayed to God, like help 576 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,720 me, like tell me if I should do this. 577 00:29:59,800 --> 00:30:05,200 And he gave me like 3 signs to like, yes, you need to confess. 578 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:11,160 And I mean, it was so crazy the way the Lord just kind of came 579 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,080 through and, and at the right time, honestly. 580 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:22,120 But yeah, he Mick is very strong, very analytical. 581 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:26,680 So you can imagine that the process was crazy. 582 00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:32,200 But it you know, that's just the way it is and he loves our 583 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:36,640 family and he's just the best. And you're right, like you do 584 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:39,640 need to be equally yoked. You do when you get married, it 585 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,600 has to be commitment. It's not going to always be like 586 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,160 lovey dovey. You know, sometimes you won't 587 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:49,920 even like them, but you made that commitment under God, you 588 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,440 know. So whatever it takes, that's 589 00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:54,920 what you do and God will come, come through for you. 590 00:30:54,920 --> 00:31:00,040 Like Satan does not want marriages to stay together. 591 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,680 Let me tell you that. And he's constantly working on 592 00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:06,240 us Now he's he's working on all of us that are married. 593 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,080 He does not want us to stay together. 594 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,360 You've probably seen that in your own life. 595 00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,800 But you know, we have to fight. We have to fight. 596 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:19,320 We made a commitment under God and we just have to stick it 597 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,280 out. That's my person and we're just 598 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,240 going to ride it out no matter. What? 599 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,320 Let's talk a little bit about years later when you take your 600 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,680 12 step. Why? 601 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:33,640 Yeah, because I talk about 12 steps so often and I don't it's, 602 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,040 it's a few and in between where sometimes they have taken a 12 603 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,240 step and we can talk about a little. 604 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,560 Yeah, but like you've been a sponsor for people now and like 605 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,920 you've been a leader. You have you LED a 12 step, but 606 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,320 you have been sponsors to people. 607 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,840 Well, I don't, I don't think probably a sponsor. 608 00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:51,200 Oh, OK, accountability part. You're going to say that? 609 00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,240 Yeah, Anyway, but you've taken it. 610 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,920 And so I was just want to talk about like, 'cause you have 611 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,560 trauma from your childhood, you have trauma, you know, from your 612 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:01,400 first marriage, you have this stuff going on. 613 00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:03,880 Tell, tell people that's listening. 614 00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:06,280 Like what it really did for you. Like 'cause you had to dive 615 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,480 deep. So good chaos, so good. 616 00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:13,080 So OK, when I took my 12th step, it was after all this, but my 617 00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,120 marriage and after all the counselling I've had, it was 618 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,440 actually only a couple years ago. 619 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:22,600 So I thought I need to do that. I've already done all this 620 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,040 counseling, I've already worked hard making are doing good. 621 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:30,040 But I was encouraged to take it anyway. 622 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:34,640 And thank you Jesus that I did because I met some more of my 623 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,000 community in that class, first of all. 624 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,920 But it's like they say, each time you take a 12 step, you 625 00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:46,520 find more things, more people you might need to forgive more, 626 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,920 more people that you may need to ask for forgiveness, which I had 627 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,760 to do. But it's so good. 628 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,520 It's so good. Like I really encourage every 629 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,200 everybody to take a 12 step, even if you think you don't need 630 00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,320 it, you do. Because I have heard people, 631 00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,600 they're like, well, I don't really struggle with drugs and 632 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:06,360 alcohol. And I'm like, that's not what 633 00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:08,120 it's. No, it's not about that it. 634 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,760 Could be not about that. It doesn't even, it could not 635 00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,760 whatever the hang up is not drugs, not alcohol, maybe not 636 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,240 affairs, it could be anything gossiping. 637 00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:20,200 You could be very, very prideful. 638 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,720 It it's great for everybody. You know, it's like an intense 639 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:28,360 therapy session each week. And the great thing about it is 640 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,680 you're doing it with others. You're hearing other people tell 641 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:36,680 their stories and and overcome and you're being able to comfort 642 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,840 them even though you can't really comfort them in the 643 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,520 class. You can't say nothing. 644 00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:44,560 That's the crazy part was crazy because you do like you hear 645 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:46,840 someone talking and you want to like interject and kind of say 646 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,600 something or and you can't because it's just a free safe 647 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,680 place where you have to have this stuff written down. 648 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,280 You don't get to just come in and say whatever you want. 649 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,600 You have to have it written down, read it and then move on, 650 00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:00,680 right? And then if you do want to 651 00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:02,480 discuss, maybe something after the class or whatever. 652 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,520 I know that was so hard for me. I was like, you push the tissue 653 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:07,560 box saver. Don't say a word. 654 00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,199 I was like sitting on my hands. So I wouldn't because I'm like a 655 00:34:10,199 --> 00:34:13,040 toucher, like a hugger and all that. 656 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,920 And you know, they're so. Healing in the class you have to 657 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,880 get it out you. Do you have to get it out? 658 00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,280 And you, and just like you said, the more that you take it, the 659 00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,159 more honest you are about things. 660 00:34:22,440 --> 00:34:25,480 Things start to come up. Like, even when you hear people 661 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,280 in your class sometimes, like I remember being in my class and I 662 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,120 would hear someone say something and I'm like, oh, wait, that 663 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:33,440 actually happened to me. And I've done suppressed it, 664 00:34:33,440 --> 00:34:35,320 compressed it, moved it, whatever. 665 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,520 Yeah. And I didn't even realize. 666 00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:38,960 Yeah. Because I've always told people, 667 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,040 like, I don't really have a whole lot of memories for my 668 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:46,320 childhood, but hearing and really praying to God to open my 669 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,360 eyes, Yeah. Or make me remember things, 670 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:50,560 whatever. Like it's so much healing in 671 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:51,639 that. Yeah, that's me too. 672 00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:53,480 Like I don't remember a lot. Yeah, a lot. 673 00:34:53,480 --> 00:34:56,159 Lot from my childhood. Because we do. 674 00:34:56,159 --> 00:34:58,720 We like all the bad stuff. We want to, like, put that away. 675 00:34:58,720 --> 00:35:00,040 We don't want to think about that again. 676 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,720 But if you pray and you ask God to reveal those things, he will. 677 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:08,000 Yeah, yeah, sure will. Tell us a little bit about life 678 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:09,840 now and then we'll get ready to close. 679 00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:14,880 OK, so now like I said, I've been walking with Jesus for the 680 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:19,400 last probably 15 years now, trying to keep it tight. 681 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,880 I'm just not perfect, but just trying to keep that me and him, 682 00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:26,440 me and him tight. I think on the worship team, I 683 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:28,160 don't think I even said that though. 684 00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,480 You came to it earlier, but I was like, we'll. 685 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:31,440 Get there when we get. There. 686 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,240 Yeah, I've been. I've been singing since I was a 687 00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:36,520 little girl. But no, no, like formal 688 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:42,360 training, anything like that. But for the last 15 years, my 689 00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:48,080 worship is more of my weapon. It's more of out of gratitude. 690 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:53,120 Like I'm just so grateful that God has brought me to where I 691 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,160 am, that he saved my marriage, that he restored my marriage. 692 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,200 Like I'm just everyday I'm like, thank you Jesus. 693 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:04,160 Like, thank you Jesus. And so anyway, I sing on the 694 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:10,040 worship team and I absolutely love that just so I could praise 695 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,960 him. Honestly, you know, I sing for a 696 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:14,200 different reason now than I did when I started. 697 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,440 I still get in my head. I got my head last night and you 698 00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:22,240 know, just always be trying to works on me. 699 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,960 That's what I told you about. This is so many women leave here 700 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,320 and they're like, I shouldn't have said that. 701 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:28,200 I didn't say that correctly. Like, whatever. 702 00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:30,040 And God's going to use it. Yeah. 703 00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,240 Our testimonies are powerful. Like when we actually do what 704 00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:35,880 God's calling us to do, that's when breakthrough happens. 705 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:38,400 Maybe it's not breakthrough for us at that moment, but it could 706 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:39,720 be breakthrough for other people. 707 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:43,240 Definitely so, yeah. Then you have Grant a grand. 708 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,400 I have daughter daughter Presley. 709 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,960 Yeah, your Christian just got married. 710 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,280 Lizzie's in ministries. Yeah, you know, it's singing too 711 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,800 and stuff like that. I mean, just look at your 712 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,880 beautiful. Family happening, lots of good 713 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:58,640 things happening. Yeah, absolutely. 714 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:03,600 I'm just so grateful. And I'm in a couple of Bible 715 00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:05,920 studies, and I think that's important, too. 716 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,720 I mean, you don't want to overdo it, but like, that's going good. 717 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,040 Yeah. And I just want to say I'm so 718 00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:15,160 proud of you, too. Thank you. 719 00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:18,240 I mean, we might not be at that part, but I am so proud of you. 720 00:37:18,240 --> 00:37:22,200 And, you know, I love your mom and y'all's ministry is just 721 00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,200 amazing. And so I do want to say that, 722 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,000 too. Like, I love listening to your 723 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,080 podcast. And yeah, thanks for having me. 724 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:34,760 Yes, so shout out to you and Mick for sure, because you know, 725 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,600 Sisters of Faith, if y'all have been following along, you've 726 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,280 heard me talk about Sisters of Faith and Mick and Anissa have 727 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:42,680 come beside us and partnered with us in so many ways. 728 00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:46,000 And like you can just tell that y'all's relationship with us is 729 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:49,640 such a godsend, like such a God moment just to do sisters too. 730 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,440 And y'all just show up one day and then next thing I know, like 731 00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:55,280 Mick's gung ho and ready to jump in. 732 00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,920 And like, I think mom was in your 12 set, right? 733 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:02,480 Yeah, but y'all have done other groups and stuff together. 734 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:05,600 Yeah, after that. And so like it's like those 735 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:08,400 communities, you don't know what you're who you're going to meet 736 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:11,040 in these groups. You don't know the relationships 737 00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:13,280 that are going to be built. It's just so beautiful how God 738 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,120 has orchestrated all of. That's another thing too, and I 739 00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:20,360 don't know if you want to put us in, but whenever we were going 740 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,880 through our struggles too, that was one of the things we did was 741 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,320 we, and I don't know, we just thought of this, but we said 742 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:29,240 we'd let's help somebody else not in the situation we were 743 00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:32,640 doing, but like we started doing Meals on Wheels, just something 744 00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:36,280 for us to serve together and to get our mind off of ourselves 745 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,520 and put it on somebody else. And I just I think that's 746 00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,640 awesome too. I think that really helped us 747 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:46,280 just to, like I said, get the focus off of us, like and just, 748 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:48,800 yeah, all right, anyway. That's good. 749 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:53,560 Let's go ahead and wrap it up. We're going to give you three 750 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:56,800 ways to close today. So whether you were driving in 751 00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:59,960 your car and you haven't got the chance to say something and you 752 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,000 specifically wanted to talk about a little something, 2A 753 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,360 word of advice or three, something that God's revealed to 754 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,600 you more recently or taught you or something that you would want 755 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,080 to share with someone, how would you want to close this today? 756 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:23,000 Good question. I think what I'm learning, I 757 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,320 think I'll talk about what I'm learning. 758 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:32,280 OK, lately, you know, I used to always pray to God, like heal 759 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,640 this person, heal that person, fix this, fix that. 760 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,560 Like that's that's how I would go into my prayers. 761 00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:44,840 But now lately he's saying just sit with me and I'm just, I just 762 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,760 come in now and I'm like, thank you, Jesus. 763 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,800 And like, I've decided I'm not going to ask him for anything 764 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:51,200 first thing in the morning. I don't know why. 765 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:52,920 I don't know if this is just something I've been doing 766 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:57,120 lately. And I was talking to one of my 767 00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:00,320 friends and I was like, you know, I think it was your mom 768 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:02,800 actually. She was like how she hears from 769 00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,560 God all the time. And I'm like, man, I wish I 770 00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:06,120 could hear from him like she does. 771 00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,760 And I was praying one morning and I just decided not to open 772 00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,200 up with. Do this and do that for me. 773 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:16,120 I said, God, you're so holy. You're just holy, holy, holy. 774 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,920 And let me tell you, he showed up in the room with me. 775 00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:23,880 My whole body got chills and I was like, that's what it feels 776 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,760 like. Like just to sit in his presence 777 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,600 and just thank him and that's it. 778 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:32,440 And just say holy, holy, holy because that's what he is. 779 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:39,240 I mean, he's a holy God that has our whole life planned out and I 780 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:44,720 just wanted to to sit and soak in that for as long as I could. 781 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,440 Then he just crave that. Yeah, like I just crave his 782 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:51,520 presence because there is so sometimes where we go through 783 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:53,400 the seasons and we're like, we're not hearing from God. 784 00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,720 I just recorded an episode about two months ago when I'm 785 00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:57,560 screaming and crying. I wasn't screaming. 786 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,760 I'm dramatic, but I'm crying and I'm like, Lord, I'm not hearing 787 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,240 from you. And then the longer that I 788 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,800 recorded with one of my friends, I'm like, yeah, he told me this. 789 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,360 He told me this. And I'm like, wait, and then it 790 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,440 makes me think about fall like rain, may I never grow or 791 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,920 whatever. Wonder about your presence, you 792 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:17,680 know, And it's like there are so many times that we don't think 793 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,120 we're hearing from God when we do. 794 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,560 But then those moments where we do without a shadow of a doubt, 795 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:24,280 we know that the Lord is in the room. 796 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,200 We feel his presence like no ever. 797 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:28,480 We pray that we want. That yes. 798 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,880 And I I do. I want that every day, but we 799 00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:33,840 have to get quiet enough. That's the thing. 800 00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,640 I don't want to sit and get quiet because then my thoughts 801 00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:41,000 start going crazy. But that's all he wants is us to 802 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,200 sit with him. So I would just encourage you to 803 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:48,160 do that, like our listeners to just sit with him, you know, 804 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:52,400 just thank him for what he's done because he's he's a good 805 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:54,800 God. And can't nobody love you like 806 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,080 Jesus. I mean, you might have been 807 00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:01,480 abandoned, you might not be in a relationship right now, but 808 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:07,280 that's OK because nobody can love you like Jesus can nobody. 809 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,000 On. So yes, I'd love to end on that. 810 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,920 I that's. Good. 811 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:16,200 One thing I will say right before I close is somebody told 812 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,360 me I went to a conference like last week and it was just for 813 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,080 creatives. And but at the beginning the man 814 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,520 was like, has anybody already been on their knees and prayer 815 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,840 this morning? And only two people like stood 816 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:30,920 up in the room and I was like, man, that inspired me in my 817 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:31,880 faith. Why? 818 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:34,520 Yeah, you can say a prayer, you can do your quiet time, but 819 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:37,320 truly to be down on your knees in prayer in the morning. 820 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,440 And so ever since then they were talking about that. 821 00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:43,200 And then they were one man was like, you know, if you're not 822 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:46,440 spending time in the morning with the Lord, like right off 823 00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:51,120 the RIP, he, I think he called it a holy 15 where it's like 5 824 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,640 minutes of Bible reading, 5 minutes of a worship song in the 825 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,000 5 minutes of prayer. And so that was something that I 826 00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:00,240 wanted to implement, like in my life, I was already doing my 827 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:03,400 quiet time, but I wanted to really implement that 5 minutes 828 00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,720 of prayer and that 5 minutes of worship because, yeah, I was 829 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:09,000 reading. But most of the time I read it, 830 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,480 I shut it and I'm like walking out the door, you know? 831 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:12,440 Like look at my to do. List. 832 00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:16,520 Yeah, I did it. And so like I'm just like that 833 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,880 made me like sit in a different, like have a different heart 834 00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:21,400 posture going into the mornings now. 835 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:25,320 Like I do want to set a time where I'm actually an 836 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:29,240 intentional prayer, not just that passive prayer or like 837 00:43:29,240 --> 00:43:32,920 actually listen to a worship song because I love like worship 838 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:37,960 musically like this. And so I like, I love that. 839 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:41,360 And I've never thought to actually sit in like his 840 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,840 presence and just worship by myself in the morning before I 841 00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:46,520 jump in the car and drive to work. 842 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:49,200 That's still a thing. But anyway, that's what I wanted 843 00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:51,200 to say to It's like, well, it's not. 844 00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:53,000 Going to say crazy. It's going to set you up and 845 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:56,840 have a good day no matter what. And if you have Jesus in your 846 00:43:56,840 --> 00:44:00,680 heart, like right at the jump of the day and something comes out 847 00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:03,840 your way, you're like, no. And you're lying later all. 848 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:04,680 Right. Well. 849 00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:06,600 This is good. All right, guys. 850 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,480 Well, I hope you have enjoyed this as much as we have. 851 00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,720 This has been absolutely incredible. 852 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:12,240 Thank you so much for coming to share. 853 00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:13,200 Thanks for having. Me, yes. 854 00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,640 All right, guys. So make sure you stay tuned, 855 00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,240 stay blessed, and we'll see you guys later.