1 00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:11,940 What's up, guys? My name's Alexis. 2 00:00:11,940 --> 00:00:13,900 And I'm Abby. And we are your host with 3 00:00:13,900 --> 00:00:16,580 praises in the pod. We are super excited to be 4 00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:20,180 talking about advice to our younger selves and just talking 5 00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:22,420 about things that we have picked up along the way. 6 00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:24,380 So we're going to start off in prayer and then we're going to 7 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:27,680 jump right in. So here we go Lord thank you for 8 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:30,840 all that you have done in our lives, all that you are doing. 9 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:34,520 We just praise you and thank you for all of your many blessings. 10 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,920 We just pray that you continue to lead us and guide us in all 11 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:42,440 that we do and let our lives glorify you in Jesus name I 12 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,160 pray. Amen. 13 00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:45,360 Amen. Amen. 14 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,040 Girl. When we started talking about 15 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:52,240 this, I'm like, man, I have 100 and 3030 things. 50 million. 16 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:54,920 Thoughts of what I could tell my younger self. 17 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:57,680 Would I have listened to myself? Probably not. 18 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:00,120 Probably not. But I would love to hear. 19 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,480 I would love to hear what I had to say to my younger self. 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,240 I mean back then I just remember my mom telling me things. 21 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:09,920 And did we ever listen to that either? 22 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,160 Nope. But I will say there are things 23 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,480 that was told to me that stuck, that stuck. 24 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,720 It did stick and now I'm like, that's what you. 25 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,360 Meant. So it's always important to put 26 00:01:20,360 --> 00:01:24,960 that out there, especially praying and hoping that somebody 27 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,840 hears it and then it sticks for them. 28 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:28,200 Yeah. So because there are tons of 29 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:32,560 things that really did not leave my mind and I still think of 30 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,120 today. I was thinking about that 31 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:37,680 earlier, like every time when I get to the end of a podcast, 32 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:41,120 like with like a testimony and stuff like that, I always say, 33 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,600 how do you want to end it? Do you have a piece of advice or 34 00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,560 whatever? And I'm, I just think, wow, like 35 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:49,320 that could really impact someone's life when they hear 36 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,000 that. Like what's your bottom line? 37 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,480 What would be advice that you give to someone and when they 38 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,480 always give it? I'm always thinking like someone 39 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,960 right now really probably needed to hear that because there's so 40 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,760 many times we got advice and we didn't know we needed it as bad 41 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,040 as we did. But later on it does like you 42 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,600 realize, Oh, that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, for sure. 43 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,720 There were people that were placed in my life, you know, at 44 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,800 a specific time, ordained and told me that and I know God sent 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,480 them. So it it 100% sticks. 46 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,200 And then he uses others for that reason. 47 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:24,040 So I know today, no matter what we talk about, whether we, you 48 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,880 know, listen to it as we wouldn't have listened to it, I 49 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,880 mean, when we were younger or but maybe somebody will take 50 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,320 something from it. So yeah. 51 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,480 So when I first started thinking about it, I started writing down 52 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,840 notes. So what's something that you you 53 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,720 start out? What's something that you were 54 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,760 like? Man, this is what I would tell 55 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:45,240 my younger self. For me, like stop trying to 56 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,880 control everything in my life. I wanted to control every 57 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:54,720 outcome of every situation and plan out my life, you know, have 58 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:57,760 step by step where I want to be at this age where you know what 59 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,960 I want to be doing when I graduate high school and I never 60 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:06,840 truly experienced or enjoyed life and looked at it like in a 61 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,560 in a less like as a blessing from God. 62 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,200 And I think in saying stop trying to control everything, 63 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:16,440 Just give your life to Jesus is what I like. 64 00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:18,360 The main advice I would have told myself. 65 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,840 Pain point. Bottom line, give yourself to 66 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:26,640 Jesus, surrender your life like man I think about. 67 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:32,000 Your dad, how much joy from me looking back, I did not truly 68 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:37,680 enjoy, you know, high school and truly enjoy just building 69 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:41,040 relationships that I should have been focused on and just other 70 00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:42,840 things. But if Jesus would have been 71 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,120 first, yeah, in my life, it would be a whole different 72 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:48,680 picture. Joy, just full of joy just full 73 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,200 of that's what I was thinking, like your dad was trying to lead 74 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,800 us to Christ back then. And I'm like, if we would have 75 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,880 surrendered back then, way life would have been good. 76 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,360 Yeah, but we. Kept trying to control every 77 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:02,760 aspect like I wasn't ready to give it up. 78 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,000 I wasn't ready to do that. But you know, it got me to where 79 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,400 I am today. So I am thankful, but at the 80 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:11,160 same time, like I just think of all the heartache and all the 81 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,520 pain and the suffering and all the things that I endured 82 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:20,240 because I wouldn't surrender. That was something and I, you 83 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,440 know, kind of going along with that is be yourself everyone 84 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:25,520 else has taken. And I've really heard that 85 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,920 before. I have heard that before and I'm 86 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:32,040 like, I have a so cliche, It's so true. 87 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:38,080 Like your calling on your life is specifically for you. 88 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,800 Like no one else has the same calling as you. 89 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,920 Some may be a little similar, but like even with ministries, 90 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:47,400 right? Like I was so bent on like 91 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:51,320 helping my mom do her ministry and thinking that was my calling 92 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,080 too. And I'm like, that's not my 93 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,400 calling. Like God specifically put me on 94 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,040 the earth for something more specific. 95 00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:01,800 And now with praises in the pot, I'm like, I understand now, like 96 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,720 this is more of my calling than helping. 97 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,240 Now, helping her is one thing, you know, But thinking that 98 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,840 that's something that he's called me to specifically 99 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,080 steward is something completely different. 100 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,800 Yeah, piggybacking off of what you just said, I was extremely 101 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:21,280 critical of myself, my younger self, and now I look back and 102 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,480 God didn't make us to be like anyone else. 103 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,480 And I've referenced this verse before, but Psalm 139, it says 104 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,840 for you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my 105 00:05:30,840 --> 00:05:33,040 mother's womb. I praise you because I'm 106 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,920 fearfully and wonderfully made, and that goes for every single 107 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,360 person on this earth. He knows us. 108 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,480 He knows every hair on our head. And so for him to have created 109 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,720 me, I think like, that's so beautiful. 110 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:51,600 Now to think about that and to see how I critiqued myself when 111 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,560 I was younger. Now it's like, oh, I would love 112 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,360 to tell myself like, don't do that. 113 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,320 You're perfect the way you are. He made you this way for a 114 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,760 reason. Quit trying to be like everyone 115 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,120 else. Quit trying to control the 116 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:09,160 outcome of your life and just focus on him and, and love who 117 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:12,880 love how he made you. You know, begin to love yourself 118 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,840 because I don't think you can truly love others and build 119 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:19,040 those relationships until you truly love yourself in the way 120 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:22,080 that he made you. And so I was extremely critical 121 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:27,680 of everything about myself, not even just critical with looks, 122 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:29,920 you know, just comparing myself to others. 123 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:34,640 If I wasn't where they were or you know, career wise, I wasn't 124 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,360 going to school for what they were going to school for or 125 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:40,880 graduating college, you know, with a certain degree or go in 126 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:45,840 places or one thing about me is I was a homebody, you know, I 127 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,000 didn't, I wasn't one of those people that wanted to go off to 128 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,720 college and leave home and be far away from home and travel. 129 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,240 You've made it 1 semester. I know like you were. 130 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,400 Like I'm done. I'm coming. 131 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,720 Home and I didn't know at that point in time, I didn't know 132 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,400 what was wrong with me. I was like, I thought something 133 00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:04,560 was wrong with me because I was a homebody and I and I wanted to 134 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,480 be here and I, I know I just wanted to be here and be, you 135 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,600 know, around my mom and my family and you guys. 136 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,200 And there's nothing wrong with that. 137 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:17,280 Like, I love that about myself now because my family loves that 138 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,280 about me. I'm at home with them. 139 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:22,600 And there's nothing more important than spending time 140 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,160 with my family. And so I now that's something I 141 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:27,520 love about myself. But I was so critical of that 142 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,760 when I was younger. And there's so many things, 143 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,280 yeah, that I would change that I wouldn't carry today. 144 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,120 But the way I learned not to carry those things was given 145 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,440 that control up to Jesus. I'm handing it over to him. 146 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:45,280 Like criticizing ourself and being really critical and 147 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,040 comparing. That's one of the things that I 148 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,920 wrote was comparing myself to others just like you. 149 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:53,720 Like, I remember when you got your job that you have now and 150 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:54,960 I'm. I'm like, Oh my gosh. 151 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,080 Like that is like a career job, right? 152 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,080 Like that is a dream. Like you got it so young. 153 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:01,480 Like you've been there for how long now? 154 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,200 Like 6-7 years? 88, Yeah. 155 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,680 Like we were young. We were what, 2221? 156 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:11,240 And it's like you already had like such a good career job. 157 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,800 And I remember just comparing myself to that. 158 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:17,400 Like you were already further along, had a house, like had all 159 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:19,880 this and here I am coming to stay the night, basically shack 160 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,720 up with you for months at a time. 161 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:22,800 My dad's like, are you coming home? 162 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:27,280 No, I'm living with that now. Like, but you know, comparing to 163 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,960 the adults, yes. And it's like, why Rush? 164 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,240 That I know. I truly tried to rush that, like 165 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,480 when me and Greg started dating and I wanted a house so bad. 166 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:40,360 I wanted a family and I wanted to live in the same home and all 167 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,720 that. And it was like I rushed that 168 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:45,120 and that those were special moments and times to grow our 169 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:48,760 relationship and not have to have the pressure of having a 170 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,200 house and having all this stuff, like, enjoy where you're at, 171 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,400 right? Like stop thinking about the 172 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,080 next chapter and the next step and all that. 173 00:08:57,080 --> 00:09:00,840 Like sit where you're at and let God move and open those doors. 174 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:03,640 I've always heard comparison is the thief of joy. 175 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:08,080 And like, you will be so caught up in comparing yourself and how 176 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,760 far along. Like you don't even see the 177 00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:11,480 blessings. You don't see the joy, you don't 178 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,520 see what God's doing in your own life because you're too busy 179 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:18,440 looking at others, right? So that is so true and and the 180 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:22,960 joy is taken because you're so focused on that next step. 181 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:27,240 OK, I'm, you know, graduating college, I've got to get the 182 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:30,600 job, then I've got to get the house, I've got to get the car, 183 00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,960 I've got to have the husband, I've got to have the kids. 184 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,440 And it's like this American lifestyle that are all these 185 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:41,000 steps and once we reach the next step, OK, great, you were happy 186 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,960 for two minutes and then next thing you know, you're chasing 187 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:48,040 the next step and you, you then you look back and like we're 188 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:52,480 doing now realizing where why didn't I enjoy each step in 189 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,120 between and finding the joy there. 190 00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,400 And that's just that control aspect. 191 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,760 It was for me, which I'm not saying it was all bad because it 192 00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:05,480 didn't lead me, you know, to the job I have now. 193 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:10,520 But looking back, I did not enjoy those younger for years of 194 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,600 my life. Like you're saying, everything 195 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,680 was so rushed and I just wish that I wouldn't have done that, 196 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,440 but. I had more of a visual right 197 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,520 then like I'm looking at you like, you know, basically 198 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,800 jealous, right, envious of what you have. 199 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,480 You're looking at someone else. Like we're just all, but we're 200 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,080 not looking at what we have. Like yeah, I literally had a. 201 00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:33,840 Visual. No, we're not looking at any of 202 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:36,560 those blessings. And it's just so crazy because I 203 00:10:36,560 --> 00:10:41,360 also thought about, you know, picking people apart and like 204 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,560 finding flaws in them. I think that was something that 205 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:51,640 I did like because I was so discouraged about my own life 206 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:54,920 and where I was in my own life that I wanted to pick other 207 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:57,920 people apart. Like, even though this person 208 00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,800 had this job, Oh well, you know, she, I, I don't even know. 209 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:05,200 Like I just wanted to pick them apart and criticize them to make 210 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,440 myself feel better. And that's just like looking 211 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:10,280 back, I'm like, that is so terrible. 212 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:14,600 Like I, you, we should all be raising people up, trying to 213 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,800 develop other people, disciple other people and build them 214 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:21,800 instead of tearing them down. But so, so many times we get so 215 00:11:21,800 --> 00:11:26,120 jealous or envious of things and we want to make belittle them. 216 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,880 Maybe, you know, I hate to think think of myself back then 217 00:11:29,880 --> 00:11:31,440 because that is how I always was. 218 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:35,080 I always viewed it like misery loves company. 219 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,280 And I know that's that's not very biblical, but hopefully the 220 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,960 Lord will turn this into something biblical. 221 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:46,680 But in those moments, especially now, you know, I tried to give 222 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:51,640 it to God and say what is going on in my heart, like speak to 223 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,520 me, Lord, because I don't want to portray or put that on 224 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,560 anybody else. That's not what you called us to 225 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:00,760 do is Christ followers and you know, vessels of your word. 226 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:05,240 So because we can still do that, you know, when we're not where 227 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,600 we want to be in life and carrying certain burdens, we can 228 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,600 portray that on others or start looking at others before we look 229 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,520 at ourselves. And so I did that a lot too, you 230 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,040 know, when when I was not happy with my life and and kind of 231 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:22,640 miserable in certain parts, it's easy to look outwardly at 232 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,960 somebody else and, and kind of see what's going on with their 233 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,560 life. All of this just refers back to 234 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:31,600 Jesus. It does like nothing. 235 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,360 None of this advice is anything if you don't got Jesus at the 236 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,000 top right, if you don't have him at the forefront these. 237 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,520 Even if you do change these and you acknowledge them, it's still 238 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:45,800 not going to help if Jesus isn't in the top at the top. 239 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,920 He's not in control of your life completely. 240 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:53,840 Yes, kind of going with that same aspect, celebrate others. 241 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,760 I remember being in the stage where like people are getting 242 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,120 married, people are having babies, like they're having all 243 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,360 these festivities for themselves. 244 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,240 And like I'm in attendance, but like, I'm not going with a 245 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,920 joyful heart, like almost a bitter heart. 246 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,960 And so like, my advice to them is truly celebrate them. 247 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,840 You're going to want to celebrate them. 248 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,440 So then they would celebrate you. 249 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,040 And in turn, like we're all in this. 250 00:13:19,040 --> 00:13:20,760 We're all living for the very first time. 251 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:26,200 We're all needing celebration and joy and kind words. 252 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,720 Like there's so many times that like I would see a cute shirt on 253 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,880 somebody or something like as small as that. 254 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,240 And like I'm keeping that comment to myself. 255 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,600 Like I'm not telling them because that's gonna boost them 256 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,560 up or something. I'm telling everybody like, hey 257 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,080 girl, your hair looks really good today. 258 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:45,880 And it does, by the way, but like I love to throw out 259 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:50,680 compliments now and make people feel like special in the day. 260 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,480 Does that make sense? Like I feel like I didn't really 261 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:57,120 do that when I was, I always held that stuff tight because I 262 00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,800 just was insecure with myself. That's a good way to say it. 263 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:05,280 I was very insecure with myself. So I was insecure talking to 264 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:07,960 people and complimenting people and all this other stuff because 265 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,600 I wasn't necessarily receiving stuff like that. 266 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,320 So I was waiting on someone else to do that. 267 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,680 I've heard, OK, well, I just recently heard advice that was 268 00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:21,560 given to my current self and I feel like I'm carrying it now 269 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:26,120 and I use it is somebody was saying when we're in that state, 270 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:31,480 you know, like if if Dexter and I were trying to conceive a baby 271 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,360 and somebody else got pregnant, it's hard to, you know, really 272 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,480 look at them. But I'm learning to now look at 273 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,640 them and say, thank you, God for the blessings in their life in 274 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,520 the timeline that you have for their life. 275 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:50,200 Because I know the same is going to be for mine in my time or in, 276 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:53,000 you know, just in whatever aspect of that is. 277 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,280 But whatever happens with somebody's life and you feel 278 00:14:57,280 --> 00:15:05,000 that feeling of jealousy or just the feeling of where you, you 279 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,400 want to celebrate them, you really are happy for them. 280 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:10,760 But it almost is discouraging to you and your life and where 281 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,960 you're trying to because again, there's that control. 282 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,680 You're trying to make your own timeline. 283 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,800 But when you relinquish that over to him and you just say 284 00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,520 thank you, Lord, for the blessings in their life and for 285 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,240 what you are doing in their life, like I'm so thankful that 286 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,920 that is their blessing. And I know we will have our 287 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,600 blessing and our due time or my blessing, my due time. 288 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:36,240 And I don't want to rush that because your timing is perfect. 289 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:40,160 And looking at it with that outlook has really helped me and 290 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:43,360 changed my mind. And when I did that, the freedom 291 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,520 I felt was like no other. And learning to do that when I 292 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,640 see others and celebrating things in their life or things 293 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,000 that I might have wanted, it just really humbles me. 294 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,200 It takes me back to that's their timeline. 295 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,600 Why do I want to control God's timeline in my life? 296 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,560 Because then it wouldn't be perfect like he would have it. 297 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:10,200 And so it's just something that I took advice recently and man, 298 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,840 it has changed my perspective and outlook on so much. 299 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:16,800 You know, thinking of all the things that I wanted so bad in a 300 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,480 moment, and now I see the greater picture. 301 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,720 Like if you remember what God has done for you and why you've 302 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:25,200 gotten to where you are today because of those things that we 303 00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,360 were praying so heavily for, like it didn't work out. 304 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,240 But now look like that also humbles me in the aspect of 305 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:35,080 like, I know he's something good. 306 00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:37,600 Yeah. Why if I haven't got something? 307 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:41,320 Because that's where my heart is just crying out to God wanting 308 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,400 it. He's got something way bigger. 309 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,040 Like I always think about that teddy bear. 310 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,120 I think we've said it on here before, like where the girl's 311 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:50,280 got the teddy bear behind her back and God's like, or he has 312 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,240 one, God give it to me and she's like, no, and he's got this 313 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:54,920 bigger one. Yeah, whatever. 314 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:58,760 So that is what I think. Like we always want something so 315 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:02,000 bad but we don't see the greater pictures and so. 316 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,920 Yeah, learning to celebrate others, others and and they're. 317 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:10,640 Trying to others be kind because my younger self specifically 318 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,720 like I always think about being so mean and bullying one person 319 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:19,079 specifically in my early 20s and it means like probably well, no, 320 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:22,760 that was friendly bullying. Just kidding, there's no 321 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,720 friendly bullying. But anyway but like I really 322 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:30,440 think about my ex boyfriends girlfriend that he dated after 323 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:34,000 me right? And I was so mean to her, like, 324 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:39,120 and I have apologized to her so many times, but like be kind 325 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:44,960 like there was no reason for me to seek out her in like such a 326 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,920 negative light. Like that was something that I 327 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,920 really wrote down is just like being kinder. 328 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,160 Like I, I don't even know how to explain it. 329 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,200 I just feel so bad for the way that I was towards like ex's 330 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,840 girlfriend, new girlfriends or something like just let it go. 331 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,600 I just really think back to the time that Jesus walked this 332 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:08,360 earth and just that light that he can't like I can't imagine 333 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:14,360 the light he carried with him and the kindness almost that he 334 00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,000 portrayed. And no, it's like you were 335 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,800 intimidated by him because he was the one walking this earth. 336 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,240 Like I can't imagine, but not intimidated in a way to go to 337 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:28,800 him and cry out and say like Father, like save me, help me 338 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,680 and know that you're going to get that like just love and 339 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,120 kindness from him when you're when you have that thought. 340 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:40,840 But so I you know, I just want to be just more Christ liar with 341 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,720 that is people to be able to come up to me and know that you 342 00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,760 know, she is loving. She is kind. 343 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,400 I can go to her. I can trust her with my words or 344 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:53,440 or discipleship and go to her for advice is something. 345 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,200 Yeah, that's really important now. 346 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:58,000 Like thinking about that, like what if I would have been that 347 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:01,960 light to her instead of trying to make her life miserable and 348 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,640 calling her all these names or stuff. 349 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,920 But being more Christ like in that like that could have just 350 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,840 glorified God in like a whole like big picture for her. 351 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,280 You know, like you know what it would have brought. 352 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,680 It what it what about her life? Yeah, exactly. 353 00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:18,320 So it's just like, I just want to be a light. 354 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,240 I want to be kind to people I want like if someone's having a 355 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,800 terrible day, I want to be that person that they're like, man, 356 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,840 she brightened my day just a little bit. 357 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,280 You know, earlier you actually said some stuff about control 358 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:35,600 and I went to lunch with a girl today and we went all like into 359 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:39,000 how we were kind of controlling our lives and how we wanted all 360 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,120 of this stuff. And so like, one of the biggest 361 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:44,040 things that I thought about was like, if God brings you to it, 362 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,760 he will bring you through it. I've heard that for years, but 363 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,400 what does that really mean, right? 364 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:53,280 Like when we get into a certain chapter or like God's calling us 365 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,840 to something higher and we don't think maybe we're worthy of it 366 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,680 or we're not equipped for it. He's brought us to that point, 367 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,560 Like that chapter of our life where he is going to equipped 368 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:05,840 us. He's going to give us everything 369 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,240 we need, like financially, mentally, physically, like 370 00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,280 everything that we would possibly need for that chapter. 371 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:15,080 He's going to equip us if we're in his will now, if you're just 372 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,120 off doing what you want now and he ain't going to give you 373 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:22,080 everything for that, but. If he truly calls us to that 374 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,520 stuff, we we're not going to have to control it all. 375 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,880 We're not going to have to try to figure out the logistics of 376 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,440 every little thing. We're not going to have to worry 377 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,800 about this and that next. Why they we're going to just be 378 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,720 obedient and surrender and be a steward of what he calls us to 379 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,040 do. He's going to make everything 380 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:41,800 else happen. I think, yeah, that kind of 381 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,120 would make me tell myself something I didn't even write 382 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:48,000 down. But that would be quit trying to 383 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,360 change everything about yourself all at once. 384 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:55,480 You know what? It's it's like you wanted to do 385 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:59,280 change everything about yourself in one weekend. 386 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:04,200 Yeah, you know what I mean. I I want to be funnier. 387 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:07,280 I want to be more outgoing. I want to do my hair a different 388 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,400 way. I want to, you know, hang out 389 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:12,200 with these friends. I want to and you're just adding 390 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,040 all of this stuff to your plate. Or maybe it's I'm trying to 391 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,800 change and do better. I don't want to go out this 392 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:18,240 weekend. And then you put all this 393 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:23,200 pressure on yourself to do so many different things or change 394 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,440 so many different things about yourself and. 395 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:30,560 And just one little sitting and I think when we learn to really 396 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:34,600 give our life to Christ is he starts like almost pruning us, 397 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:39,080 you know, pruning things away and starting with the major 398 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,840 things really in our life that need to be changed. 399 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:46,440 But I was so hard on myself doing that, trying to change 400 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,880 every little thing all at once. Like you're saying the control 401 00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:55,480 thing and, and just trying to, you know, get everything in line 402 00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:59,560 in like 1 day. Yeah, it's not going to happen. 403 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,680 And then you just keep continuing to take that joy away 404 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,520 from your life. I think that falls into too, 405 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,880 like think of that if you're just coming to Christ, right? 406 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,960 Like you're not going to be, no matter if you're 98 years old 407 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:16,680 and you've been following Christ for 87 years, like you're never 408 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:20,320 going to be completely pruned and perfect and all this stuff. 409 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:23,560 Like you're just going to grow. He's going to continue to pick 410 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,080 things out of your life and remove certain things. 411 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:29,280 But we got to make sure that we're filling it up with what he 412 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,480 has for us and what he wants for us instead of putting in 413 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,600 something else. That's one thing when I was 414 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:38,760 younger and my dad would try to say come to church, give your 415 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,560 life to Christ. He'll take care of the rest is I 416 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:47,160 would try that and I would try to change everything myself and 417 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:52,000 it would automatically send me in a spiral and say I failed and 418 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,760 I can't, I can't do this. Like why am I I'm so imperfect. 419 00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,160 I can't figure this out. I failed again. 420 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,560 I messed up. I like now I got to get back on 421 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,920 track or I've gotten so off track that I would not now I 422 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,800 just why even get back on track? And it kept me away from that 423 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,680 relationship with him for so long because of that reason. 424 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,320 And that is what I mean, I guess going back when I was trying to 425 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,920 explain trying to change everything at once, it's like I 426 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,400 couldn't figure out what I was trying to talk about. 427 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,600 But it's that it's, yeah, it kept me away from that 428 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:29,000 relationship with him because I was still trying to control my 429 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040 actions. And if if I would have just 430 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:35,880 focused on and just fell on my knees and said, God, you have my 431 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,760 life completely. I give everything to you. 432 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,480 And I just want to know you. I want to start reading your 433 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,160 word. I just want to know you, who you 434 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,080 are, why you said the things you said, why you've done the things 435 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,840 you did, why you created the earth the way you created it. 436 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:53,080 And that's all I want to continue to know and do every 437 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,800 single day I wake up. Then he's changing it. 438 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,320 Everything, yeah, is changing. And I don't have to sit there 439 00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:03,840 and try to control it anymore and, and, you know, feel guilty 440 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:06,840 and shame against myself every single day and carry that 441 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:09,480 because I'm trying to change all of those things. 442 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,680 Yeah. Like truly, cuz that was one of 443 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,840 the biggest things why I wouldn't surrender is because I 444 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,360 kept trying to do it all on my own and then I would fail at it 445 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:20,480 and I'm like, well, it's just not made for me. 446 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,680 Like that's just not for me. Like whatever. 447 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:27,040 And then I learned that when I started surrendering and just 448 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,440 started seeking him, that other stuff started falling into line. 449 00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:34,040 Like that all started changing. I didn't have to wake up every 450 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,840 day and like, you know, cry throughout the day because I 451 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:38,680 wanted to go to Georgia. Bob's so bad that night. 452 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,800 Like he took that desire away from me without me doing 453 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,320 anything but seek him. Like when I started changing, 454 00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:49,440 the people that I was hanging around start started trying to 455 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:55,000 get plugged into a community of, you know, disciple builders and 456 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,640 Christ followers and all of those. 457 00:24:56,640 --> 00:25:01,240 Like that's when you start seeing the changes like nothing 458 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:04,160 that I did and. It's so awesome how it works 459 00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:06,600 out. It's like when I did finally get 460 00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:09,920 to that point in my life of just throwing my hands up and giving 461 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,400 it all to him. There were some things that 462 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,680 hadn't left yet. It takes time. 463 00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,880 And He does prune you. And, you know, the more you get 464 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,080 to know His word and that comes alive in your heart, then you 465 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,880 see, oh, I don't like that about myself or, or yeah, that's not 466 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,880 right. Help me work on that, Lord, help 467 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:29,200 me work on that. And you just keep asking him and 468 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,960 keep, you know, asking for him to reveal those things to you. 469 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:36,600 But it then it's a process, you know, it's like that 470 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:38,800 sanctification process that happens. 471 00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,240 And yeah, you're right. You didn't, you didn't even have 472 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:45,240 to think, what am I going to do? I don't want that desire to not 473 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:49,000 go there anymore. It just went away because he 474 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,880 kept feeling you and feeling you and that just started leaving. 475 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:55,120 And that's what happens. Absolutely. 476 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,880 One of the things that like I've seen like as a common 477 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,280 denominator, like advice kind of changes when you go into 478 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,920 different seasons, right? And so like a different season 479 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,120 that you have completely different than what I have is 480 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,680 like motherhood. So like, what do you have 481 00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:11,480 anything that specifically stands out that you would want 482 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:14,960 to give advice to your younger self or like, are you still in 483 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,880 that process of trying to figure out what that advice would be? 484 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:24,040 All of the above no IA 100% have some advice that I would have 485 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,240 given myself years ago. So prior to becoming a mother, I 486 00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,840 carried the biggest fear about becoming a mom. 487 00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,200 It was almost one of my greatest fears, I would say, because I 488 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:41,560 was so afraid to raise a child that might end up in a broken 489 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:45,440 home or raise a child that might go through some things that I 490 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,040 went through as a kid or, you know, experience hardships in 491 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,440 life that I didn't want them to experience or see, you know, the 492 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,920 evil in this world. And it was a huge fear of mine I 493 00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:00,280 carried around. And this is a verse that has 494 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:04,200 like stuck with me and that I've carried throughout motherhood. 495 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,320 But it's Psalm 34 four and it's I saw the Lord and he answered 496 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,840 me and he delivered me of my fears. 497 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,800 And that is 100% that He did with my motherhood self. 498 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:18,920 And what I would tell a mom who is afraid to become or that is 499 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,880 experiencing that journey or about to experience that journey 500 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:27,680 now is truly seek the Lord with that fear and telling Him that 501 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,960 fear that you carry and He will take it over and carry it for 502 00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,640 you and with you. And that's what He's done. 503 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:39,480 And there is nothing that brings me greater joy now than being a 504 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:45,920 mother going to make me cry. But I'm so thankful I did that 505 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:51,000 with him and gave that to him because of the joy that he has 506 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,560 given me and the joy that he's brought to my family's life. 507 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,800 And I know that that wouldn't happen without him being at the 508 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:01,040 center. Going through motherhood is an 509 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,160 insane journey. I mean, it's, you know, so many 510 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:07,720 different emotions, so much changes about your life. 511 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,880 Life doesn't become about you anymore. 512 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:14,880 It's 100% about your children and and wanting them to be 513 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:19,440 raised, you know, to know the Lord and raised in a safe 514 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:24,000 environment and raised in a home that is loving and it has both 515 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,920 parents. For me, that was something huge. 516 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:32,680 And so I'm just so thankful that I didn't let that fear consume 517 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,000 me. And I saw the Lord through it 518 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:38,680 and He's been with me on this journey and so. 519 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,880 Yeah, I think one of the most beautiful things, like when you 520 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,840 say like you're so fearful, right? 521 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,880 Like at the beginning, like, am I going to do this right? 522 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:48,640 Am I going to lead them right? Am I going to like all this 523 00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:50,560 just? Fearful of even being pregnant. 524 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,640 Yeah, like in that process and it's. 525 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,720 Like it's so beautiful when you think about like God 526 00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:01,400 specifically gives you and chose your children just for like that 527 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,800 is so beautiful to me when you really think about it. 528 00:29:03,800 --> 00:29:07,680 Like he just like I was talking about earlier, like he equips 529 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:10,560 you like he knew you were going to be, you know, your child's 530 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,720 mom, like all this stuff. And so like he's already 531 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,760 prepared all of that. So all of that worrying and fear 532 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:21,360 that like the fear that you have, like he's already planned 533 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,920 it like he chose them for you. Like he put them in your belly 534 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:28,560 or on this earth, maybe through another person, you know, or 535 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,320 adoption or like that, but like he put them on this earth for 536 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,560 you. And that's just so beautiful. 537 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:38,480 Like to think like you chose me, right, Right. 538 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,000 That's so beautiful. And I think another thing I'm 539 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,600 learning because it's a continuous learning process and 540 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,720 I'm seeking God like they're, you know, everybody says there's 541 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,040 no book for raising children. Well, I mean, there kind of is, 542 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,920 you know, I tried to lean on the word and, and what he says, but 543 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,040 it's there's something that sticks out to me and it's raise 544 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,440 a child in the way that they should go. 545 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:06,280 And I heard this advice not long ago, but man, it hit me like a 546 00:30:06,280 --> 00:30:10,920 freight train because there is so much that you want your kids 547 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,480 to be like you or yourself or you know, your husband or like 548 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,920 the things that you like. And when they're totally 549 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:21,400 opposite of you, you're just, you're like, what is going on, 550 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:23,680 you know? But then I then I lean on that 551 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:28,760 verse and it really is in the way they they can see he has a 552 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,720 purpose for their life and he has a plan for their life and 553 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:37,240 they are going to have their own, you know, Lane or their own 554 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,320 life and say their own. Testimony their own. 555 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:44,600 Testimony and so I just I pray and I'm learning now and I wish 556 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,360 I you know, I would have told myself that a few years ago that 557 00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:51,920 Sutton is going to have a day lane her own lane with God's 558 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,480 purpose behind it. But just to kind of get out of 559 00:30:55,480 --> 00:31:00,120 that way and and not try to control that so much for her or 560 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,520 maybe worry, you know, what others might. 561 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,120 And it's still given this younger advice self. 562 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,400 It's like we carry it forever, not worrying about what others 563 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,960 might think about her or think it portrays something, you know, 564 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:17,280 against our family and just truly letting God have a hold of 565 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,560 her life. And that is hard because your 566 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:24,000 children are everything to you. And to give them to God, it is a 567 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,720 daily thing you have to, you know, work on. 568 00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:29,280 Are you going to like stop trying to force her to ride? 569 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:32,840 Horses or because you. Literally are saying I'm pushing 570 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,560 it on her like horses. That's what I'm saying. 571 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:40,280 You want them so bad to love the things that you love and do it 572 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:42,480 with you and it be a. Paring but. 573 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,160 You know, she could just want to play the piano one day, and 574 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,480 that's amazing and that's beautiful, yes. 575 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,200 For her to ride horses, but we're doing piano, that's cool 576 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,200 too. Tennis so. 577 00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:58,680 I know that it would bring us joy no matter what she's doing 578 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,200 if God's in the forefront of it. And so I, you know, at that 579 00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:05,440 point, it's easy just to say, Lord, you have my child. 580 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:10,960 And so in that aspect, I can't imagine, you know, Mary and, and 581 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,960 her viewpoint and what she did or went through. 582 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,440 It's just that's beautiful to me and beautiful testimonial on her 583 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:22,640 side to really, Lord, that's your son. 584 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,080 You know what I mean? And I'm going to do the same 585 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:27,280 thing with her, that Lord, this is your daughter. 586 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:30,160 With our own lives, Lord, here I am. 587 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:32,840 Use me. Yeah, You know, here, here I am. 588 00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:35,480 Here's my life, Lord, here, you know. 589 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,080 So not just our kids, but ourselves. 590 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,760 Like, be able to be an offering. Yeah. 591 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:46,840 Just be willing to do certain things and open your eyes to 592 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,520 certain things. But be 100% in like, use me. 593 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:52,960 Let me be a vessel. Let me be. 594 00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:59,920 Just let me be obedient to what you want for me and what your 595 00:32:59,920 --> 00:33:02,680 plan is for my life instead of trying to control it. 596 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:08,240 One other little thing I heard was more is caught than is 597 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:12,320 taught. And so for me with Sutton, like 598 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:16,240 you're saying, being that vessel and being obedient is I want her 599 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,400 to see that with us and not more or less me just teach it to her. 600 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:25,400 I want her to catch it and pick it up and not me tell her to do 601 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,280 because it it's not going to stick. 602 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,520 And so if you know, we talked about this in life group, but if 603 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,520 our family is going through a difficult time, I want her to 604 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,680 see us praying our way through it and she doing it with us. 605 00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,360 I don't, you know, want to just say, all right, well, we're 606 00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,240 going to pray about it. No, let's actively do it 607 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,560 together as a family and, you know, just other things. 608 00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,920 Waking up in the morning and she sees us doing our devotion every 609 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:52,960 morning and she likes to sit there with us, Mandexter, but 610 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,360 just being more active because I think that our children will 611 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:59,520 catch on to those things. More than telling her no, we 612 00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:03,040 pray about this situation, no, we're going to pray about it 613 00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,160 right now and do it together. And so those are things that 614 00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:08,159 we're working on too. That's something that Dana 615 00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:11,159 actually touched on in her episode. 616 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,800 Priorities Aren't optional. And it was like she knew of her 617 00:34:14,800 --> 00:34:16,920 mom's faith. She knew that she was a praying 618 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,159 woman. She knew all this, but she 619 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:20,960 didn't physically see it. Like her mom did it after she 620 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,000 went to bed or in the morning before she got up and all this 621 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:24,840 stuff. And she's like, one thing in my 622 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:29,159 life that I will do is I want my kids to see me in the Word. 623 00:34:29,159 --> 00:34:32,040 I want them to see me and their dad praying together, together 624 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:35,840 and, you know, truly living it out instead of just behind 625 00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,639 closed doors because kids do they, they'll see you on the 626 00:34:38,639 --> 00:34:39,719 phone. They want to see your phone. 627 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,080 They see you do do your makeup. They're going to do. 628 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:44,520 It faster than they pick up words. 629 00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:51,000 So being that actual physical of doing things, that's super 630 00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:53,840 important, especially with kids. So that's good. 631 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,280 Do you got anything else that you would kind of like maybe 632 00:34:57,440 --> 00:35:01,920 have advice for or you think you pretty much said everything for 633 00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:04,720 your younger self I. Know man I could keep going 634 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:10,720 though really truly I wish I just yeah I think we touched on 635 00:35:10,720 --> 00:35:15,520 in a little bit earlier on but just love learn to love myself 636 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:21,280 really and truly and who I was and how God made me and really 637 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:25,160 dive deep into that because I think if you can do that early 638 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:30,160 on man you just you just find your purpose that much faster in 639 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:34,040 in what he's called for your life and the joy that it would 640 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,840 have brought me and I think that's something huge is I wish 641 00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,840 I would have just and I'm still learning it today because I 642 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:45,480 struggle with it is learning to really love who I am and how God 643 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,320 made me and the way that he made me. 644 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,760 There's no other Abby Yep and I've got to learn that and love 645 00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:55,680 that and I might not be perfect and I worry you know what are 646 00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,400 others gonna think and it's hard even doing this podcast. 647 00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,960 I know others that have done it. You leave here and you're like, 648 00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,720 but, you know, and you're worried and yeah. 649 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,120 What are they going to think about me? 650 00:36:06,400 --> 00:36:08,280 But I don't care. God. 651 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,880 Here I am, Lord, like I'm Abby. I want to love myself. 652 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,480 I want to love everything about me. 653 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,800 You made me this way. Use me, Father. 654 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:19,040 Just anoint me. I don't want to be seen. 655 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,040 I want what you did and how you created me to be seen. 656 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,640 Absolutely so. The last piece of advice maybe 657 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,320 I'd give to my younger self that I've recently kind of picked up 658 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:30,360 in the last like 2 weeks. I started reading this book and 659 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,800 it's called Fans 1st and it's all the Savannah Bananas and you 660 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,760 think it's just some silly book, but it's really, really good. 661 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,600 They have a little slogan that they go by like, you know, 662 00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,040 entertain and all this stuff. Mine that we were talking about 663 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:45,840 in a meeting is God first people always. 664 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,400 And I just thought that that really spoke to me and the life 665 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:53,760 that God has called me to as well, like keep him first, but 666 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:57,520 love others. Like be kind to others, pour 667 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:00,640 into others. Like I know that he's called me 668 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:04,600 into communications like this and being able to help others 669 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:08,640 share their story and be able to try to disciple others and 670 00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:12,160 develop them and all this. So that's the biggest thing that 671 00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:15,280 I feel like would be my advice to my younger self is love 672 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:19,400 others, be kind to others, pour into others, like allow others 673 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:23,000 to be in your life. Like drop your walls a little 674 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:26,720 bit, girl, you know, like I had really big walls like up and I 675 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,600 didn't let a whole lot of people in And then like the ones that 676 00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,400 did, I would get hurt and stuff like that. 677 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:35,120 So just a love others, no matter where they're at, just love 678 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,840 them. Yeah, Yeah, that's good. 679 00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:42,680 And that just like to conclude everything is if, if you think 680 00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:46,480 about it, if you would have your younger self giving up 681 00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:51,200 everything to Jesus then and you went through those struggles of 682 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,760 having your walls down and learning to love others and you 683 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:55,240 struggled with that for so many years. 684 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:59,160 But you wouldn't have if you would have given it to him all 685 00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:01,960 of those years. So that just sums up what we are 686 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:08,280 saying is give it to God now. All of it and everything that 687 00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:12,040 we, you whoever have struggled with when you were younger, we 688 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:16,000 wouldn't have. And it's not to say that when 689 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,840 you follow Christ, all struggles are going to go away, but 690 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:19,840 different. Struggles. 691 00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,640 Correct. Yeah, different struggles and 692 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:28,000 but the burden is light, His yoke is light and life would 693 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,960 have just looked a little bit different, way more joyful and A 694 00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:34,640 and a heck of a lot better, yes. For sure. 695 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,800 Let us save you a little heartache, a little pain. 696 00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:41,000 Go on and surrender. Go on and surrender. 697 00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:45,680 All right, guys, I think that is pretty, pretty awesome. 698 00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,880 Like all of this advice, I mean, truly, this is just what we've 699 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,560 had on our hearts. We hope that it helps you in any 700 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:57,080 way, form or fashion. We ultimately run to Jesus, run 701 00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,640 to God, give it to him. All right, guys, stay tuned, 702 00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:02,480 stay blessed and we'll see you guys later. 703 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:03,200 Bye.