1 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,360 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, you're host of 2 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,640 Praises and the Pod, and I'm so excited to be in the studio with 3 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,960 Robin Payne. She's actually my sponsor and 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:23,840 we'll talk a little bit about that, but we're going to start 5 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,160 off in prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 6 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,760 So here we go. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 7 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:29,640 for today. Thank you for all of your many 8 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,640 blessings. Dear God, thank you for bringing 9 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,600 us to this place in time where we just get to talk about your 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,640 goodness and your faithfulness. Lord God, thank you for sending 11 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:41,280 me Robin that I could call and talk to whenever I needed, Lord 12 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,640 God and or need, not just needed but need her. 13 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,000 I know she's always there and just a phone call away. 14 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,640 I just appreciate our her friendship and her guidance and 15 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,840 her leadership in my life. Lord God, I just pray that you 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:55,360 calm our nerves. You calm everything about this 17 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:59,000 situation, Lord God, and just let your spirit be known in this 18 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,600 room. Let your presence be known in 19 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:04,319 this room that her story is going to impact so many people's 20 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:07,120 lives and just be a powerful testament of what you've done. 21 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,120 Thank you for your miracles. Thank you for what you've done 22 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,000 in our lives. We just pray that you speak to 23 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,880 us and through us and let this glorify you in Jesus name I 24 00:01:14,880 --> 00:01:16,080 pray. Amen. 25 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,240 Amen. Amen. 26 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,720 All right, So before we get started, what I mean by sponsor 27 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,560 was I talk about 12 step all the time in here, all the time, 28 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,680 every episode almost and and people are probably like, what 29 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,520 is that? So that just means when we're 30 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,840 going through the steps, you have to tell them all your hurt, 31 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,240 your habits, your hang up, the people that's hurt you and 32 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,400 everything. So earlier I was like, man, I 33 00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:42,080 done told her some things. But you know, I know that you've 34 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:47,320 sponsored many of people, so you've heard a lot and for you, 35 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:50,760 you know, that's just something that you're kind of used to. 36 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,000 You know it is. Nothing to surprise with me. 37 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,160 You're just like, go deeper, I need to know more. 38 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,400 Yes, Yeah, 'cause you're going to answer questions. 39 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,800 Yes. And that was good for me because 40 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,520 at the time when I was going through 12 step at the 41 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:06,000 beginning, I remember it was surface level for me. 42 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,480 And then you would ask me a question. 43 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,400 I'm like, well, let me think a little bit more on that. 44 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,480 And then I started text, like typing my stuff out, and that 45 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:14,720 made a big difference. Yes. 46 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,560 Anyway, all right, let's talk about you. 47 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,720 That's one of the things that I was super excited about because 48 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,840 I was like, I, you know so much about me. 49 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:23,000 Yes, but let me know more about you, OK? 50 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:26,120 OK, so let's start out your childhood and work our way up, 51 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:26,840 OK? OK. 52 00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:31,520 So I grew up in great Georgia, OK and small town. 53 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:35,320 I have an older sister. My parents are still living. 54 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,920 They're still married. Wow, how many years? 55 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,280 I want to say 56. Years dazing, yes? 56 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,160 And they're still married. It was like just a quiet 57 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,920 childhood. Like I didn't really have a lot 58 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,800 of friends. And that's all I can really say. 59 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:55,200 Like they really sheltered us. And because I live down like in 60 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,960 the sticks. And so there wasn't really 61 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,040 anybody that lived out there. It was just me and my sister. 62 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,000 And so we went to school and nothing really happened. 63 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:09,800 And so after I graduated, took some classes. 64 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,440 It was making college back then. I took some classes. 65 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,000 And then I met Eric, or I was 20, Yeah. 66 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,920 Or I was like a. Baby Oh my goodness, where did 67 00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:22,640 y'all meet at? OK, we met at a bar. 68 00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,280 Because you know what, I one of my guy friends, he's single and 69 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,120 all this stuff and he goes out and I'm like, you won't meet the 70 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:36,160 love of your life at a bar, you know, Dang it, y'all did. 71 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,440 We did. But look at, look at what God 72 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:39,080 has done. Yeah. 73 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:42,200 So tell us a little bit about y'all's early years and what 74 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,840 that looks like and what you know how how was that? 75 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:52,880 OK, so we met in June or July when I was 20 years old and he 76 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:55,680 went off to college. He was, he was going to Georgia 77 00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:04,000 Southern and we still dated. And so we decided in February, 78 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,080 well, we knew we wanted to get married. 79 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:13,080 And so yes. And so February of it was 1994, 80 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:18,959 it was February and he proposed in February and we got married 81 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,240 in March. Now he's in school, though. 82 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:23,160 Yeah. So what does that look like, 83 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,680 'cause you're from Gray. Yes. 84 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,800 And now are you moving to Southern? 85 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,120 I do. I'm lived to Statesboro and I 86 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:33,520 was so homesick because there was nobody down there. 87 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,320 And so I've never been away from home. 88 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,200 And it was before my 21st birthday. 89 00:04:40,840 --> 00:04:44,240 I couldn't even drink alcohol and I was getting married, You 90 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,560 know, I moved down there and and we partied. 91 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:52,440 We did. We partied and and then we 92 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,640 stayed there. Hang on. 93 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,440 OK. I just want to say this so 94 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,160 because I'm sure that's a big culture shock, right, like 95 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,760 you're from a small town yes, that doesn't really have a whole 96 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,880 lot. No, I don't nothing. 97 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,280 You know, and you just said that you're sheltered growing up. 98 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,960 Yes, I was. What does let hang on let me 99 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,880 actually go back to OK What did you go to church with your 100 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:14,720 family? Did y'all? 101 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,120 So y'all didn't we? Did I? 102 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,320 Did not go to church at all. I might have gone to like 103 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,280 vacation Bible school maybe two or three times in the summer, 104 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:30,160 but no, I did not grow up in I'm a Christian home at all. 105 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,320 So. When you move, it's a big 106 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,040 culture shock. You're like, in a party town, 107 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,920 like Georgia Southern is known for partying and everything 108 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:39,440 else. Yeah. 109 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:43,280 And so the wheels probably fell off immediately, like, you just 110 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:46,640 start going because you've never had freedom like that, you know, 111 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:50,960 and never done anything. So that's where it starts for 112 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,480 y'all. It's all the people are single 113 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,120 because they're college students and we're married. 114 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:00,960 So that's completely different, you know? 115 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,720 So we lived in like this little apartment outside of town. 116 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:11,160 Of course, we partied and he decided, I'm trying to remember, 117 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:17,400 I think that we stayed there two years until he graduated. 118 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,760 OK. So we stayed there two years and 119 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:21,600 then we moved back to Warner Robbins. 120 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,360 And then of course, I'm in another town that I don't know 121 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,360 anybody. And of course everybody, he 122 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,800 knows everybody. So it's another culture shock. 123 00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:33,280 So we moved back. He got a job. 124 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:35,280 He was a teacher. He taught first grade. 125 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:40,200 That is what threw me for a loop because he is so good with kids. 126 00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:44,600 So Eric is also her husband is also my boss at work. 127 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,600 And so a lot of the time I have talked about how Eric has told 128 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,880 me certain things on the pod and I'm like this piece of advice 129 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,200 stuck with me and blah blah blah. 130 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,440 So here we go. This is his wife that I was 131 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:58,720 talking about and when I found out that he taught first grade, 132 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,640 I was like wow, that makes so much sense because he does have 133 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:07,000 so much patience because first. Graders first and 5th grade. 134 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:11,800 Oh, yeah, OK. So yes, he's teaching and I got 135 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,480 teaching, you know, is very strenuous because your work 136 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,120 usually will come home with you, right. 137 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,160 So how is that like, you know, because your first years you're 138 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,840 trying to figure it out and everything. 139 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:25,840 How does your life look? What are you doing and what's 140 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,480 going on with you? So I ended up going to college. 141 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:34,640 So he graduated and then I went to college full time and then I 142 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:41,520 got my degree in, I want to say, oh, it was 1999 is when I 143 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:46,120 graduated and I have a bachelor's degree in accounting. 144 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:52,120 So I got pregnant with Noah. That's our son. 145 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,720 He's 26 now. I got pregnant with Noah and I 146 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:59,680 had him a month before I graduated college. 147 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:06,000 So we had a son, graduated college and I decided to be a 148 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,640 stay at home mom. I decided that I, you know, was 149 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,320 going to stay home. Had that been something that you 150 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:15,120 always have, like? Dreamed of I never thought of I 151 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,800 thought I was going to have a career. 152 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:20,760 I did I thought that both of us were going to have careers. 153 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,480 We were going to, you know, have white picket fence, have the 154 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:29,920 best relationship ever and we have been married five years and 155 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:34,360 then we had Noah and I was thinking, you know, life is 156 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:38,760 going to be great. So but it wasn't you know, it 157 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:46,840 was Noah was 2 years old and I started having just chronic 158 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:51,960 depression and anxiety just chronic and I think that was in 159 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,920 2001. So I decided that I would start 160 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,480 going to a counselor and she really did help me. 161 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:05,040 You know, she she helped me a little bit, but she said that I 162 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:10,440 needed to go see somebody. She she do that I need to go see 163 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:13,200 a psychiatrist. So she she recommended a 164 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:18,160 psychiatrist and with that. You don't, so you don't have a 165 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,880 relationship with the Lord. Y'all. 166 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,640 Y'all haven't done when the church yet? 167 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:27,000 Eric did Eric. Was a was a Christian OK, He 168 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,960 knew Christ, yes, but he knew of Christ. 169 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:34,280 Yes, that's good. So but for you, you hadn't 170 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:38,240 encountered more no guys. So I think that's so important 171 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:42,320 to sit on for a minute is like you knew you needed help go and 172 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,280 you go seek a counselor. You're talking. 173 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:48,840 But I'm guessing the counselor probably you know, wasn't giving 174 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:50,760 spiritual advice either at this time. 175 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,080 Like they were just like, let's, yeah. 176 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:56,800 Which? We're not going to discredit the 177 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:01,400 medicine, but we're just saying like it was somebody that we 178 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,720 need to always like look for, for spiritual guidance as well. 179 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,760 But at this point, you've never met the Lord. 180 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:09,160 So all right, So tell us a little bit about that. 181 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:13,880 You do go to the psychiatrist. I did and he prescribed A 182 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:21,320 antidepressant and a benzo, which is like an anti anxiety 183 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,160 medication. And so I, I just started feeling 184 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,680 so much better and I was, I'm healed. 185 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:31,920 Yeah, I'm healed and I, you know, I'll just keep taking my 186 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:33,720 medicine and everything will be fine. 187 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:38,520 But that's not what happened. You know, it's the depression, 188 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:46,080 anxiety came back and, and that was when that was when the I 189 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:49,520 started abusing my medication because I would, I would call 190 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,480 and, and say, well, I'm out of my medicine. 191 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,360 You know, when they're like, well, you just got it filled, 192 00:10:55,640 --> 00:11:01,320 you know, let's say 15 days ago and, and I would say, oh, well, 193 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,600 I lost it. I ended up going to a different 194 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,840 psychiatrist. So you just kind of bouncing 195 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,960 around. Just bouncing around, just 196 00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:18,840 doctor shopping. And so I had this doctor in town 197 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,360 and he would prescribe me anything that I wanted. 198 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:29,800 So it was antidepressants, anti anxiety medication, sleeping 199 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:32,640 medication. I mean, with all this you got to 200 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,320 be a zombie. Oh, I was a zombie. 201 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:40,600 Either I was, I was taking stimulants as well, so I was 202 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:46,960 either up or down or it was just like a medication cocktail is 203 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,800 what that was. And I had a child, you know, I 204 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:53,400 had AI had a household that I needed to take care of. 205 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:56,800 I had a husband, you know, life was not good. 206 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:02,320 You know, life was not good. And that that was going on until 207 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:07,520 I ended up having a seizure. I was in because of. 208 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,600 All the medications, all the medication, and I would run out 209 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,720 so early that my body was used to having it. 210 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:20,440 And so I didn't have it, you know, and so I ended up having a 211 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:22,800 seizure. I think I had two seizures. 212 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:30,520 I ended up in ICU and then I ended up having, I went to a 213 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,680 psychiatric hospital. And so that was about 10 days 214 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,680 and 10 days isn't going to do anything for me. 215 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:44,000 You know, I ended up going back to the same doctor and he knew. 216 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:49,080 He knew where I had been. He gave me some of the same 217 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:53,320 medicine again. And so I kept going back to him 218 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,760 and because I'm like, who wouldn't you know, if you were 219 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,960 addicted to medication, why wouldn't you go back to the same 220 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,480 purse? Who's going to keep giving it to 221 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:07,080 you, which always blows my mind. It's like, I understand that you 222 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:09,040 coming. They're getting to send it off 223 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,320 to insurance or something. You would just think that there 224 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:15,040 will be some type of morals to these doctors, right? 225 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:19,080 They would have some type of ethical conscience to say, I 226 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,400 don't need to do this, right? Some doctors don't because I 227 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,040 have heard that before where they're just like, here you go. 228 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:28,680 Like they already know you're straight up addicted to XY and Z 229 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,200 and they'll just still keep giving it to you. 230 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,560 And Eric said that he went and talked to that doctor. 231 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,760 Yeah, Eric went and talked to this doctor and told him what 232 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,200 had happened to me, and he still prescribed it. 233 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,720 Wow to. Start, yes. 234 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:51,680 And so I kept going back and the next thing was, well, I think I 235 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,720 need to go back. OK, I need to go back and talk 236 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:59,640 about when I came to the. Lord, yes, let's hang out, let's 237 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:00,600 say that. Let's do that. 238 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,800 Where? When, How? 239 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,120 What happened to get you to the place of encountering the Lord? 240 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:13,520 First time So when Eric and I were dating, he went to Trinity 241 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,600 United Methodist. He went there. 242 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:20,320 We would play volleyball on Sunday nights and then he would 243 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,080 go back to college. And so we started going to 244 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:29,120 church on Sundays, Sunday morning, Sunday night, and then 245 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:34,640 he would go back to school. I came to the Lord at at a 246 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,000 concert at Trinity United Methodist. 247 00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:44,480 And that would have been, I would say, in 1996. 248 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,280 We were married, of course, and we found our own church. 249 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,760 We, we went to a Methodist Church in Bonaire and we were 250 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:55,960 still sinning, you know, we were still going out and doing 251 00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:02,120 whatever we wanted to things that drinking and and that kind 252 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:03,600 of thing just. Hooping and hollering. 253 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,440 Just hooping and hollering. Just hooping and hollering with 254 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,120 friends. When you're when you are at this 255 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,680 concert, tell us a little bit about that moment. 256 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,480 OK, like what? Because you know, we hear about 257 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,200 the Lord's pulling on your heartstrings. 258 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,160 Tell us a little bit about like, was there certain something 259 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,080 specific that was said that you were like that is the. 260 00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:30,600 Lord, it was a songs and one of the songs just just really 261 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:34,160 resonated with me. And I remember just boohoo and 262 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,520 just crying. And they were they asked about 263 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:43,040 if you wanted to get saved to come down and Eric went with me 264 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,200 and and I got saved. And you know, when the Methodist 265 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,400 Church, they don't, they don't dunk, they sprinkle. 266 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,560 And so I got sprinkled at at the Methodist Church. 267 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:59,120 So, you know, we say we're saved, but we were, you know, we 268 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:03,680 were still doing the same thing. The sanctification process, you 269 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,040 know, just took a little bit longer, but it's good. 270 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,560 Y'all started to evolve. Y'all started to like see the 271 00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:11,840 Lord eventually, right? You met him here. 272 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,400 But then you keep living the way that you want and all this 273 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,440 stuff. So I get. 274 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:17,880 I get that. 'Cause, you know, we were 275 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,840 married and we went to Southern, you know, my mom. 276 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:30,160 Yeah, yes, yeah. So so back to the seizure. 277 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:38,440 I was, you know, in ICUI believe that just wholehearted that if 278 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:43,200 you aren't paying attention to the Lord, he will do whatever is 279 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,200 possible to get your attention. Come on. 280 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:52,200 Yeah, I ended up falling in my house and and tearing my 281 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:57,720 meniscus and part of my ACL. And so I couldn't drive, I 282 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,520 couldn't walk. And so I couldn't get to the 283 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,720 doctor. Eric knew what I was doing and 284 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,280 he's. Taking you to the he. 285 00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,359 Definitely is not taking me to the doctor. 286 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:15,480 And so I ended up just not having any medication at all. 287 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,640 You know, I was, I was at home and so I ended up having 288 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,720 surgery. And what happens when you have 289 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,480 surgery? They give you pain medication. 290 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:30,520 I would end up running out of medication and then calling the 291 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,840 doctor. And the doctor, the orthopedic 292 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:39,840 surgeon was a friend of ours. And so Eric had talked to to the 293 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,960 doctor and said, you know, don't prescribe her any kind of 294 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,400 medication. I ended up, I had a doctor's 295 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:52,880 appointment that I needed to go to for some other, I don't know 296 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,360 what it was. I think it was just like a 297 00:17:54,360 --> 00:18:00,280 regular checkup and I ended up talking to her about just my 298 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:05,160 mood and so I said I know that I always need to go to a 299 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,800 psychiatrist but I just can't find one that I trust. 300 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:17,600 So she pulls out the phone of her pocket and calls one of the 301 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:21,640 psychiatrist in town and makes me an appointment for the next 302 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:26,480 day. I went and this psychiatrist, 303 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:32,080 she scared me to death. She scared me and it was just an 304 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,800 answer from God. I mean, she really, she saved my 305 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:40,720 life is what she did because I told her, you know, I was ready 306 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:44,160 to get better. I told her what I cannot have in 307 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:47,360 my house. You know, I cannot have certain 308 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,120 medication. That's big. 309 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:53,800 For. You to go in and be able to say 310 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,800 that too. She must have really scared you. 311 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,240 She did. She's scared. 312 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,560 But that is big for, you know, an addict to really be able to 313 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,680 go in and say, listen, I can't have this. 314 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,520 That shows you were ready. You were ready for change. 315 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:13,360 Because we were, we started going to a, of course, a 316 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:18,640 different church. We were really getting into the 317 00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:21,800 Lord and so I knew I wanted to get better. 318 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,920 She prescribed me certain medication because the doctor 319 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:29,960 that I was going to before he said I had, I was like manic 320 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:35,880 depressive, I had ADHD. So that's the prescriptions that 321 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:40,960 he was giving me. So this doctor, she diagnosed me 322 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:45,000 as having bipolar disorder. It made complete sense to me 323 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:50,120 because I had highs, I had lows and I started taking my 324 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:54,960 medication like I was supposed to and cause of course I wanted 325 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,960 to get better. I needed my marriage, right? 326 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:01,040 I needed to take care of my child. 327 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:06,800 I did that and I have always taken my medication like I 328 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,000 should. Since that. 329 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:11,040 Yes. What tell us a little bit, if 330 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,720 you're comfortable, tell us a little bit about what your 331 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,800 marriage looks like at this point. 332 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,040 Because I mean, if you're having these really highs, these really 333 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:24,280 lows, I'm sure there's like a lot of, you know, attention 334 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,920 going on. So tell if you're comfortable, 335 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,320 tell us a little bit about that. Sure. 336 00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:33,960 So Noah was, I would say, in middle school, I slept all the 337 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,520 time. I was not involved in anything. 338 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,560 Eric, there was a lot of resentment there. 339 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:45,400 I resented him for him not paying attention to me and and 340 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:49,360 then he definitely resented me for what I was doing. 341 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:54,640 I'm marriage was just a wreck. You know, it was a wreck if he 342 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:58,680 divorced me and took Noah. I couldn't, I couldn't say 343 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:03,320 anything, you know, because it was just a wreck. 344 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:09,000 After I got all off my medication, it started getting 345 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,160 better. It did. 346 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:17,280 But he ended up getting a job that was, he was dumb. 347 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:22,840 He started being a workaholic and so he got a job and I then I 348 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:28,040 resented him for that because he is not somebody that takes off 349 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,640 from work. I resented him for that. 350 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:37,720 And then it really after he, he ended up retiring and it got 351 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,560 better, you know, because now our marriage couldn't be any 352 00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:45,560 better, you know, it really couldn't I It can always be 353 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:46,880 better. It can. 354 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,360 Always, but from where it was, Yeah, I'm doing. 355 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,280 Good. Yeah, that's right, because your 356 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,200 marriage has to be equally yo. And if it's not, it's not going 357 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:03,200 to work, you know, and and now is just is so much better. 358 00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:06,200 And so he it did end up getting another job. 359 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:10,320 He works at Southside Baptist Church. 360 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:14,640 But I wanted to go back and talk about Noah a little. 361 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,400 Bit we'll see. That OK, Noah was born in 1999. 362 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:27,400 We wanted to make sure that he wasn't raised in any type of 363 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:33,640 environment that was hostile or like we always told him that we 364 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,400 loved him and he never heard us fuss ever, that he knew 365 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,960 something was going on. I stayed in the bed all the time 366 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,360 and so and then he started resenting me. 367 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,440 I'm sure he didn't. He was very disrespectful and he 368 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:53,600 had a mouth on him. He had a mouth on him and he 369 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:59,040 was, he really was a good kid. You know, he, he never did 370 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:04,200 anything that we know of. So he ended up going off to 371 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:12,040 college and it broke me because I only had an only child and 372 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:15,720 they all, you know, us. I lost my identity. 373 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:21,560 So then depression started getting back in and I'm like, oh 374 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,880 goodness, I really have to watch this. 375 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,440 I really have to watch it. And I survived. 376 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:31,120 Then he got married. And then I was like, Oh my 377 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:33,200 goodness. Now he's really gone. 378 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:40,120 So he made he's married to Joy and they've been married almost 379 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:43,160 5. Oh wow, yes, almost five years 380 00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:48,800 and I have a new granddaughter, Precious Charlotte. 381 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:52,680 Precious Charlotte, and they're doing really good. 382 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:56,520 Good. But what did? 383 00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,520 You because I mean to be a sponsor you have to have, you've 384 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:01,760 taken 12 step. Yeah. 385 00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:07,920 So in your 12 step, is this when you start looking back and like 386 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:12,920 really seeing that, you know, Eric and Noah like resented you 387 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,440 at this time? Like when you were in it, did 388 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:18,960 you already know? Or really, once you were out and 389 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,160 doing the 12 step and doing all the stuff, that's when you 390 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,320 actually knew that there was a lot that you needed to go back 391 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:30,400 and heal through, basically. It was actually before, like I 392 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:36,520 just had so much guilt and shame for what I had done to my family 393 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,560 because I was not present physically, mentally, 394 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:47,560 emotionally, I was absent. I had to work on getting them to 395 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:51,120 forgive me. Just the I, it just got so much 396 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:55,280 better because once you admit it, it brings it to life. 397 00:24:55,280 --> 00:25:00,400 And and then everything just started getting a lot better. 398 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:05,440 And it's really funny because I had talked to Noah and I said, 399 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,800 Noah, I really need you to forgive me. 400 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,720 And he said, mom, we don't, we don't need to talk about it, you 401 00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:20,480 know, not because he still had resentment for you, for me. 402 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:28,000 It's just, I truly believe that God can take away memories from 403 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:33,440 your brain, you know, And so because, you know, he was, I 404 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,560 would say he was in middle school and I truly believe that. 405 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:42,800 And he told me that when I when we started my 12 step, I was 406 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,600 like Robin. I don't really have a lot of 407 00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,760 memories for my childhood like and you were like, I believe 408 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,200 that the Lord takes in high stows from you. 409 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,360 And I, I know that memories revealed to me as I was going 410 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:57,520 through that 12 step of like learning more and God would 411 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,960 reveal certain things, but there's still a lot that he has 412 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:01,880 it. And I'm sure like when I need to 413 00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:03,960 heal through those things, he'll reveal more. 414 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,160 But as of right now, like sometimes, the Lord just doesn't 415 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,000 need you to know all that. Right. 416 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,840 And you can't heal from everything. 417 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:14,280 Yeah. You know, I think he does it at 418 00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,120 because we emotionally, I don't think we can we can do that and 419 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:21,440 we sure. Can't take it all at once. 420 00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,040 No, he's got to line it up for me. 421 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,880 The forgiveness started coming in, you know, and Eric's, you 422 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:36,360 know, he started forgiving me and in just 12 step, it just 423 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:39,000 helped me heal. When did y'all get to Southside? 424 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:44,400 We got to Southside when Noah was in middle school, and we 425 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,320 knew he needed to be in a middle school program because our 426 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,760 church did not offer that. We knew that he needed to be in 427 00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:58,800 that and he needed to be around Christian friends, even though 428 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:03,080 he had really good friends. So that's when we started going 429 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,800 here. I think he grew, you know, as a, 430 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,520 as a teenage kid, I think he really grew. 431 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:14,520 And that's when he started learning about the Lord. 432 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:22,000 And, and then we had talked to brother Jerry about baptism. 433 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,640 He had talked to Noah about, you know, believing in the Lord, and 434 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:33,280 he just cried, you know, and, and so Eric's grandfather had 435 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:37,720 baptized us in our pool A. Sweet memory. 436 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,280 He he married us and he baptized us in her. 437 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:41,880 Wow. Yeah, that is. 438 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:43,640 Precious, I love that. Yeah. 439 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:47,680 With, you know, Southside, we do have CR, yeah. 440 00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:52,000 And so when do y'all start CR? Did y'all start at the like? 441 00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,440 I mean, that would probably be around the time CR started, 442 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,520 right? No, it wasn't it. 443 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:00,840 I say it was about 10-12 years ago. 444 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:01,880 Oh, OK. Yeah. 445 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:07,800 So Eric started going because he thought he was going to heal me. 446 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:12,680 Yeah, you know, we all we. Think we going to do it? 447 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,800 The Lord. So he was going to heal me and 448 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,680 he was friends with Pat Chastain. 449 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:23,440 So he he started going just to listen to Pat, you know, that 450 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,440 was about it. And he didn't want to go to 451 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:30,640 small group. He just, and he was asked to 452 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:36,160 give his testimony there. And so I decided, of course, 453 00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:38,080 that I was going to go, you know, to see. 454 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,280 What? What you going? 455 00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:43,240 To say. So he ended up giving his 456 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,560 testimony. And so I decided I needed to go. 457 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:50,760 And I just started going, you know, because I knew that I 458 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,000 needed healing. And so that's when I took my 12 459 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:57,920 step because I needed and I wanted to know what the hike was 460 00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:58,520 all about. Yeah. 461 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:00,200 For sure. Yeah. 462 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,200 And so that's when, yeah, that's when the healing. 463 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,680 So he started going first. How long would you say that he 464 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,800 went before you started going? Year. 465 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:12,200 Really years. Were y'all going to church on 466 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,480 Sunday together? We were, yes. 467 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,800 It's not CR right? And I just wanted to preface 468 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,400 that if like, or I don't know if that's the right word, but 469 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,080 whatever. I just want to sit on that for a 470 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,520 second because there's so many women that are going to church 471 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:28,520 by themselves, right? And they're like, when is my 472 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,160 husband going to come? And they're trying to beat it 473 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,440 over their head. But for you, like you just saw 474 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,360 Eric was consistent. You just saw that he kept going. 475 00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,800 Y'all were going on Sundays. I'm not taking away from that. 476 00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:42,480 But you know, the CR is where you know y'all people are now. 477 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,560 You know, like y'all are leaders at CR, all the stuff. 478 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:47,200 And so it doesn't happen overnight, but it as long as 479 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,040 you're staying consistent, you can go. 480 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:51,560 And you keep showing that this is important to you. 481 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:55,480 Eventually your spouse is going to be like, well let me see what 482 00:29:55,480 --> 00:29:57,320 the hype is all. About Well, let me. 483 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:00,720 See why you have to go every Thursday night at 7:00? 484 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,360 So just because it doesn't happen overnight doesn't mean 485 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:05,440 it's never going to happen. Exactly so. 486 00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:08,680 Beers are a long time, you know. Yeah. 487 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,640 I mean it could have been 5 or 6. 488 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:16,280 Year ow yes my my little 2. I feel like because I used to 489 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,880 complain all the time I'm like, Greg will not come touch me. 490 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,320 And so that's a long time but yeah eventually Greg started 491 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,840 yeah so just like you, you yeah. You wanted to know what was 492 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,360 going on right. So during all of this, tell us 493 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,680 like, what did your spiritual walk look like before y'all 494 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,200 started getting plugged in at CR, before you're going to 495 00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,960 church on Sundays and you're really in those states of up and 496 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,480 downs 'cause you just met the Lord when you're about 20-3 ish. 497 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:47,560 Yeah. And so let's say between Noah 498 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,400 being in middle school to that, what did your spiritual walk 499 00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:54,680 look like? Well, all I did was go to church 500 00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:58,160 on Sunday and we went on some Wednesday nights, so. 501 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:01,880 And that was, yeah, it's not like getting in the word or 502 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,960 anything like that. And that was it, you know. 503 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:07,440 But when you went to go see the psychiatrist, the one that 504 00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:09,000 scared you, right? Yeah. 505 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Start doing, like, taking your medicine the way that you're 506 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,080 supposed to. Is that when like the light 507 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,120 switch flipped for you where you're like, I want to start 508 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:20,160 doing like being more intentional about my time with 509 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:21,960 the Lord? As you say, that's years to 510 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:26,920 come. Well, what happened was Eric, 511 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:31,680 Eric was just praying. Lord, just just tell my wife, 512 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:36,560 you know, heal our marriage and or he was really just in the 513 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,520 word. He had of course it had 514 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:45,520 happened, you know, and Eric said that it that he was praying 515 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:50,400 going down Russell Parkway on at lunchtime one day. 516 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:55,480 And so he was just like, Lord, I need for you to intervene, you 517 00:31:55,480 --> 00:32:02,680 know, and so that that was one day that he had come home and I 518 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,280 had told him, you know, I'm ready to get better. 519 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:10,960 And I was in such a low place that I couldn't pray for myself. 520 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:16,880 And and I was so almost like my God is not is not healing me. 521 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:19,680 I want it done now. I want it done yesterday. 522 00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:25,320 And I said, I need for you to pray for me because I said my 523 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:31,440 God is not healing me, you know, And so he started, you know, 524 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:35,880 praying. And that's when my healing 525 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,960 started. There's something about when you 526 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:42,080 really crowd to the Lord, you know, like you said this earlier 527 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:46,760 about when you speak it and you bring it to light, you bring it 528 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:50,040 into the world and you're not being held captive by those 529 00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,760 thoughts anymore, right? Like there is so much power in 530 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:56,920 the tongue and like just being able to speak these things 531 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,720 exactly hurts these habits, these hang ups when you're sick 532 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,680 and tired of being sick and tired and you just say I want 533 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:06,200 better. I want say it like voice it, 534 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,680 Don't just think it like say it to someone so they can hold you 535 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:13,360 accountable too, and so that you can actually bring those words 536 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,560 alive. Because there's so many times in 537 00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:18,520 our minds, we think things, we want things, we set goals for 538 00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:19,920 ourselves, but no one knows about it. 539 00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:21,560 We've never even said it out loud. 540 00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:24,520 And there's nothing that like all it is is a thought. 541 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,920 But when you bring it to somebody and you say, I want 542 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,040 better, I want to do better, I want my family to be restored, I 543 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:33,640 want healing. There's power in that. 544 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:40,480 And the word restoration, yes, I mean, like our, our family was 545 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,880 just restored. Our relationship with Noah is so 546 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,520 much better. We just have our marriage is so 547 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:52,560 much better. And it's so funny because even 548 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:56,760 though Noah is married with a child, he still calls us, you 549 00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:01,320 know, every day he calls, he's just, I still call him a kid. 550 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,160 He's such a good kid. But I was thinking because, you 551 00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:08,360 know, when you say Noah went off to school and you're like 552 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,800 broken, you know, you're distraught. 553 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,440 And then when he gets married, you're distraught again because 554 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,520 you're like, you think they're moving on with their life, but 555 00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:16,800 you're always still their parent. 556 00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:20,080 And even when we think that we're not going to get past 557 00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:23,600 things or like this is just going to destroy us, the Lord 558 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:28,560 shows us that he. Yes, time and time again that 559 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:32,560 it's not we we create all these things in our head sometimes. 560 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,760 Yeah, like we make it seems so much worse than what it is. 561 00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,040 And God's like, I got a plan, right? 562 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,520 I've, I've got this. Just give it to me. 563 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:45,040 One thing that I've really been sitting on here recently is God 564 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,760 was so intentional with Noah and the ark, right? 565 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:54,560 Like he told him the cubics left and right and what to do and how 566 00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,840 to do it and all this stuff. He never put a steering wheel on 567 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:00,440 the ark because he didn't need to. 568 00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,000 Control it. That's good. 569 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,120 Yeah. Oh God, that's. 570 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,560 Bad he want, you know, that's us so many times. 571 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,600 Like we want to control it, but our life is so much bigger than 572 00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:15,120 what we see. We have no idea and we shouldn't 573 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:20,080 be trying to steer it like let him truly take over because look 574 00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:21,400 at Noah. He survives. 575 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:23,560 Yes, he did. He had no steering wheel. 576 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,760 He could not, he could not steer that thing. 577 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:31,400 So it's just good to have that like perception of like thinking 578 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:35,400 back to when you feel like you couldn't make it to looking back 579 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,280 now and you're like, I did make it, Yeah, as the Lord gave me 580 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,200 strength through that, right. So it's just good. 581 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:44,320 Yeah, yeah. And so he went off to college. 582 00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:48,720 Of course, I started getting really involved in in CR and I 583 00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:51,960 became a leader at CR and I'm like, what is? 584 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:55,080 Happening. You know, and I'm like, what? 585 00:35:55,600 --> 00:36:00,000 So I started leading a mental health class Mental health, 586 00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,920 there's so much stigma about that. 587 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,840 And I'm not afraid to talk about it because I know where the Lord 588 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,360 has brought me. And I of course, I don't mind 589 00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,960 talking about it. And I'm not going to push many 590 00:36:13,280 --> 00:36:17,040 on anybody. If you have high blood pressure 591 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:21,600 when you take medication and some people, it's OK if you 592 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:25,240 don't, if you don't want to take medication, I have to take 593 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:28,840 medication for my marriage to keep me alive. 594 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:33,920 You know, I have to take it and, and I'm not embarrassed to talk 595 00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:36,360 about it. That's good, you know, And so 596 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,840 anybody who wants to come and talk to me about it. 597 00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,000 She's a God blessing her. It gets great advice. 598 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:46,120 Oh goodness, oh goodness. All right. 599 00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:50,800 So as we begin to close this, OK, I give three things. 600 00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:52,440 You can close it the way that you like. 601 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,600 One, maybe you're in your car, you're driving here and you're 602 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,400 like, man, I really want to talk about this, but I haven't gave 603 00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,760 you the opportunity to talk about it. 604 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:04,560 OK. 2 A word of advice to someone that's listening or 605 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,640 three, something that God has revealed to you more recently. 606 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,040 And what I mean by that is maybe He's taught you something new. 607 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:12,760 Maybe you've read the same scripture over and over again 608 00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:16,560 and it just now clicked or something. 609 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:19,240 How would you want to close this today out of those three things? 610 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:28,720 I would say advice, OK, I would say that if you are having some 611 00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:32,040 type of mental health issue, just seek out help. 612 00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,800 Yeah. You know, don't nobody has to 613 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,840 know about it, You know, go to a counselor and just talk about it 614 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,080 because, you know, we have continually talked about you 615 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,400 need to speak it. Yeah. 616 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:47,880 And don't be embarrassed, just seek out, just seek out help 617 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,600 because it can, it can affect your life in so many ways. 618 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:57,200 And just pray about it. You know, even if you I know 619 00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:59,680 some people don't want to have, you know, they don't want 620 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:03,840 anybody to know about it, but just find a friend, you know, 621 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,160 and cause friends are. So important they are. 622 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:10,040 You know, so important and and just get guidance. 623 00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,600 Yes, that's good. We talked about, you know, the 624 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:15,480 accountability partners, sponsors, stuff like this and 625 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:20,760 finding someone that is further in your their walk with the Lord 626 00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:24,280 and also that can understand what you're going through is so 627 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,720 important, right? Somebody that you can actually 628 00:38:26,720 --> 00:38:29,880 trust and know that they're not going to run and tell somebody 629 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:33,000 like that is so important. So make sure you try to find 630 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:36,520 somebody and just tell them, yeah, about what you're going 631 00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:38,320 through so that they can pray for you. 632 00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:41,160 Because you even said that you got to the point where you 633 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,320 couldn't even pray anymore and other people were interceding. 634 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:45,920 Your husband was interceding. Yeah. 635 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,400 So important, right? This is good. 636 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:49,920 This is so good. OK. 637 00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,120 She's like, yeah, OK, I already done that. 638 00:38:54,400 --> 00:38:58,120 Anyway, I hope you guys has it. Have enjoyed this as much as I 639 00:38:58,120 --> 00:38:59,600 have. This has been such a pleasure. 640 00:38:59,920 --> 00:39:01,880 Thank you so much for coming. Welcome. 641 00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:04,600 All right guys, we love you. Thank you so much. 642 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,920 Make sure you stay tuned, stay blessed and we'll see you guys 643 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,080 later. Bye y'all. 644 00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,320 My whole podcast is built on being real raw and relatable. 645 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:16,600 And we really did just close out and then we're Robin reminded me 646 00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,360 of a conversation that I wanted to have. 647 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,480 And so we're about to have that conversation and somehow put 648 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:24,680 this maybe at the end before she closes this out. 649 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,800 I don't know what Isaiah is going to do, but we, I want to 650 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:31,040 talk about this because this is something that you told me 651 00:39:31,720 --> 00:39:35,080 forever ago and it has really stuck with me. 652 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:40,960 And so one of those things was one at Celebrate Recovery, one 653 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:45,200 of the kids sat in or something and I was like you said, you 654 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,080 know, I they shouldn't set in for that. 655 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,000 I don't remember, let me just say that. 656 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:52,440 But it was like, we shouldn't be telling them adult problems, 657 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:56,880 right? And so tell us about like Noah, 658 00:39:57,080 --> 00:40:00,640 like you shielded him from this and why that's so important. 659 00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,440 For families not to give adult problems to their kids. 660 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:05,680 So tell us a little bit about that. 661 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:11,200 I just don't think that kids mentally need to be involved in 662 00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:13,800 adult problems. You know, whether it be 663 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:17,080 addiction, no one knew that there was something going on in 664 00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:22,080 our household. But I just don't think that kids 665 00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,480 need to hear that. They don't, they don't need to 666 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:29,560 know what happened with their families, you know, because we 667 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:33,680 never argued in front of him. And I don't know that no one 668 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,720 even knows. Our testimony is, you know, I 669 00:40:36,720 --> 00:40:41,160 think he, I think he has heard mine before, but he doesn't know 670 00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,760 the extent. Of support. 671 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:47,920 And even even Eric and so, and that's just some something that, 672 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:52,160 you know, I feel whether or not, you know, you do it or not, it 673 00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:54,200 can't be right or wrong. We're I shaming you? 674 00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:59,280 You're just so you know. Is isn't a choice for me and I, 675 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:00,560 I. Completely agree with that. 676 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,800 Ever since we had that conversation, because there are 677 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:07,360 so many times that I think back on things that I knew as a young 678 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:11,960 kid and like I didn't say this in my testimony about I was 679 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:15,040 everybody always was like, she's so mature for her. 680 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,560 No, I was mature because I was carrying heavy burdens that I 681 00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:21,080 was given. I was given these adult problems 682 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,600 that I had to truly somehow try to process when I'm a young kid. 683 00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,720 So now I'm worrying about my mom. 684 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,720 I'm worrying about, you know, my grandparents and them raising 685 00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:34,280 me. I'm, I'm worried about my 686 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,680 biological father and what he's done because I'm, I'm aware of 687 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,840 all these adult things. It is. 688 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:46,240 That's a lot for a teenager to care and to think about. 689 00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,480 And with school, you know, it's enough. 690 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,400 With with academic, you know, that's a lot. 691 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:56,760 It is so I mean that is one thing that I did. 692 00:41:56,800 --> 00:42:00,600 I even sat down and I was like, Robin, I want to talk about this 693 00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,240 and then here I am. I'm like, hey, we're. 694 00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:03,760 Good, yes. Close. 695 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:07,080 But, you know, it is just so important to like keep those 696 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,200 keep your kids as innocent as possible. 697 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:15,640 Yeah, as a long as possible. Like them see being exposed to 698 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,120 your problems hearing I've heard like, you know, parents talk 699 00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,560 about like finances and stuff like that in front of their kids 700 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:27,400 and now you know, the kids worried about like do we have? 701 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,400 We going to pay. Our bills, yeah, because that is 702 00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,360 a big thing that, you know, maybe people are like, oh, we 703 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,120 don't have the money for this. And this that's one thing, you 704 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,760 know, we we're not running out to McDonald's and grabbing it 705 00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:40,600 because we don't got just money to blow like that. 706 00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:45,000 But saying like, worry some information in front of them, 707 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:48,040 we'll stress them. They don't need that. 708 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:52,200 No, that's good. All right, that I think we're 709 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,840 going to close on that. If we can just figure out how to 710 00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,200 get it in there, that would be great. 711 00:42:56,200 --> 00:42:59,160 If we don't, we don't, you know, but thank you so much again. 712 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,320 You're well, yes. Alright, thanks guys.