1 00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,840 What's up, guys? My name's Alexis. 2 00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:16,920 And I'm Abby. And we're your host with praises 3 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,360 in the pod. We are so excited to be in the 4 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:21,480 studio and just talk with one another. 5 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,080 We honestly had plans on what to talk about. 6 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:27,600 And then as we are getting ready to record today, she texted me 7 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,840 and we totally changed it. So we're going to see where the 8 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,080 Holy Spirit leads us. And we're super excited about 9 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:34,360 it. We're going to start off in 10 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,880 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 11 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:36,760 So here we go. Yeah. 12 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,000 Lord Heavenly Father, just thank you for this time. 13 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,360 Thank you for allowing us to come and talk about your 14 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:45,880 goodness and your faithfulness. Lord God, we just pray that when 15 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:49,080 we come in here, we can talk about these things and we can be 16 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:53,320 real, raw and relatable. We can be just who you have 17 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,280 called us to be. Lord God, we pray every time 18 00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:00,480 that you speak to us and through us and just I truly mean that. 19 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:04,480 I pray that you always speak to me and you always speak through 20 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,240 me, Lord God. The same with Abby. 21 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,720 I pray that this is a space where we can talk about your 22 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,440 goodness, Lord God, and we can just be raw about it. 23 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:15,480 Thank you for all that you're doing and all that you are going 24 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:17,360 to do, Lord God, that we have no idea about. 25 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,200 In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 26 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,000 Amen. Well, girl, so anyway, what had 27 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,760 happened was yeah, we were going to. 28 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,680 This is actually December 31st episode. 29 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:32,000 So tomorrow, when you're listening to this, it will be. 30 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,720 Years. 2026. I know that's crazy. 31 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,960 That's wild. But to me, everything we're 32 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,200 going to talk about can go in for you. 33 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,040 Yeah. Yeah. 34 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,400 It's so relevant to, you know, the New Year's starting 35 00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,200 something. If you're listening to this and 36 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,360 and you're feeling something, you know, stirring in you to be 37 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:54,280 refreshed or start something new or just have a new path for 38 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,120 2026, it goes with that too. Yeah, when I was thinking about 39 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:02,880 the 2026 episode, I'm like, let's talk about like things we 40 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:06,400 want out of 2026 and like resolutions. 41 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:10,199 And I had all this stuff to go with it, like, like I'll just go 42 00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:13,640 ahead and hit it right now. Like, you know, set attainable 43 00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:18,680 things like don't make it where it's so far out of reach where 44 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,320 you'll never be able to truly get it. 45 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,600 And then you beat yourself up along the way. 46 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:29,440 Like truly set attainable. Small goals reach those and it 47 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,520 ends up gaining you to your larger, bigger end goal. 48 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,080 Or God helps you reach that 100 through the end. 49 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:39,320 Yeah, 1. 100 And then the other one is always we always talk 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,080 about community, tell people what these goals are because 51 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,160 that holds you accountable. Yes. 52 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:51,440 Like you just making these goals up in your head, it just makes 53 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:55,080 it not seem as real. Like I truly have to voice it to 54 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,440 people and let people know that this is something so it holds me 55 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,320 accountable, you know? So anyway, that's what I want to 56 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,840 talk about. But then we had talks and you 57 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,720 sent me your notes and I'm like, yeah, that's pretty much what I 58 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,440 was wanting to talk about too. Girl, I've been going through 59 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,120 it. You have. 60 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,120 To I have to really been going through it. 61 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:17,000 You pop us off, you tell us what you've been going through, girl. 62 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:24,000 Oh yeah, a lot has happened in this pregnancy and I know God is 63 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,160 working it all out. I know his hand has been in it 64 00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:31,880 completely because it's really just transforming me and my 65 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:35,440 heart and my mind and, and just certain things that he's working 66 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:40,240 me through this process. But when I was around 24 weeks 67 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:44,440 pregnant, I started experiencing high blood pressure, just came 68 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,240 out of nowhere in this pregnancy. 69 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:50,400 So my doctor kind of got me started on some medicine that 70 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,400 helps with that. And they started watching me 71 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:56,360 more closely and it kind of continued each week. 72 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,520 So they put me on a plan where I go in like more often and then 73 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:04,320 I'm considered high risk. And they start checking certain 74 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:08,480 things like in your blood work to make sure you know, protein, 75 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,960 certain things don't get elevated. 76 00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:16,560 Well, around 30 weeks, no, sorry, around 28 weeks my 77 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:21,079 protein levels did become elevated to a certain level 78 00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:24,800 where I'm considered pre eclamptic now. 79 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:31,000 So that has taken a turn and I became like really high risk and 80 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,200 all of this just kind of happened out of nowhere. 81 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,760 And for me, this is like huge and scary because I've never 82 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:42,800 dealt with health issues. And it's, it's caused a lot of 83 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,000 fear in me during this time. And that's just being 84 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,520 transparent. You know, even though I have 85 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,760 faith through this process, it's still, it's got me to a point 86 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,680 where I was scared, you know, I didn't know what was going on 87 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,640 with the baby making sure that she was healthy. 88 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,840 And they start, started doing like weekly test. 89 00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:07,840 So they started doing weekly ultrasounds, They started doing 90 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,320 like weekly listening to her heart rate and stuff. 91 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:17,960 And I remember when I was going to leave one of my appointments 92 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,760 because the doctor was like, hey, we're going to put you on a 93 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,680 weekly schedule to start coming in and getting all of these 94 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,680 tests done. It was so overwhelming to me 95 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,720 just thinking about how much was about to be put on my plate on 96 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:34,360 top of like work and having a toddler doing life group, doing 97 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,560 our rooted thing, doing the class on Sunday school. 98 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:42,960 And now I'm like thinking, now I have to juggle staying calm, 99 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:46,320 keeping my health, you know, and the baby healthy to a certain 100 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,440 level. And then I realized, like, 101 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,280 that's just me trying to control so much and I've got to give it 102 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,920 over to God. And it's just been a work in 103 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,360 progress. It's been really heavy on my 104 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:58,120 heart. But when I was sitting there in 105 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,080 the chair, it took the lady like 20 minutes to make all of my 106 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,120 appointments because she made them throughout the rest of my 107 00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:08,280 pregnancy. And realizing how much I was 108 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:12,560 going to have to go in there every week, realizing like all 109 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,440 of the blood work I was about to have to start doing just all of 110 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,440 this stuff. And I just broke down in tears, 111 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,400 like with the lady right there and Dexter was right there 112 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,160 because I just got so overwhelmed. 113 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:28,440 Like it just hit me that this is real and this is scary. 114 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:32,920 Like, what's really going on? So that has happened. 115 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:38,040 Then you feel like you kind of get a hold of things or things 116 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,000 kind of settle out. And I'm sure anybody that's 117 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,520 dealt with health issues has gone through this or know 118 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,560 exactly what I'm about to say is it just felt like the rub rug 119 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:48,200 kept getting pulled out from under me. 120 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:52,160 So everything's going fine. I'm going to my appointments. 121 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:56,720 But about a week ago, I started experiencing really bad back 122 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,560 pain. Just kind of came out of 123 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,400 nowhere. It was going all throughout the 124 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,280 day and it kind of got worse through the end of the day. 125 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:09,320 And so on the way home, I called Dexter and I was like, hey, 126 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,480 something's a little off with this. 127 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,760 Normally I try to kind of push through it. 128 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,040 I don't like it's on. I was like, this is a little 129 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,360 different. I think I might just need to go 130 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,200 get checked out. So we were like, OK, let's just 131 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:24,320 go. Thankfully, Sutton, it was the 132 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,880 day that Trina picks up Sutton, so she was already with Trina 133 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:31,680 and we were able to just go. So I'm thinking we're just going 134 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:38,560 to go and get tagged out and be home in a little bit while I get 135 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,560 there. And they run all these tests and 136 00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:44,000 everything came back negative and everything looked fine. 137 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:47,480 But she was like, you've had a few contractions since you've 138 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,320 been here. And I was like, oh, OK. 139 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,560 Which was weird because I didn't really feel them at that time. 140 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,640 And maybe that's just what I've been feeling all day leading up 141 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,600 to getting there. So they checked me. 142 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,040 They realized I was 3 centimeters dilated. 143 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:06,280 And as soon as they said that, I had about 10 nurses in my room. 144 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:08,320 They were hooking me up to Ivy's. 145 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,440 They were giving me steroid shots. 146 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,480 And then one of the nurses was on the phone calling an 147 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,640 ambulance saying, hey, we need a transport to Navison, to Macon. 148 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:25,000 And I just remember everything in the room just kind of like 149 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,440 stopped. It's like I just looked over at 150 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,560 Dexter too, and he's just kind of like standing in the corner, 151 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,640 Like just try not to get in the way of the nurses. 152 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,480 But we're just like, what do you do? 153 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:41,080 You just feel so helpless. And it's just, I've been a big 154 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,760 struggle in my life these past few weeks, just giving this all 155 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,240 to God constantly. Like it's really been difficult. 156 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:56,840 It's really been a season of testing my faith a lot and just 157 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,160 testing, you know, where my heart is with everything, 158 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,560 testing where our family is at, what you know, we're doing, what 159 00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:07,200 we're truly worshipping, where our heart posture lies every 160 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,160 single day. So it's just brought a lot of 161 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:12,880 things up and start up a lot in me and that's kind of what we 162 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,360 were going to talk about today, where I'm at, where you're at, 163 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:20,320 and what this New Year's is going to look like for me or for 164 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,840 us. For what God put on my heart to 165 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:27,800 give to him and enter this almost new chapter with him and 166 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:31,080 in my family in the dynamic that's about to change. 167 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:37,200 And so going through all of those difficulties has, yeah, 168 00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:41,600 it's kind of start up and, you know, desire in my heart for him 169 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,880 and for certain things that's going to happen in the new year. 170 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,960 Yeah. And like when I'm thinking about 171 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,800 stuff like that, because truly you have just had like 172 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,120 difficulty after difficulty after difficulty, like you've 173 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:56,680 had just, you know, the whole thing of he's near to the broken 174 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,200 hearted. Like you're going through this 175 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,040 season right now where it's like there's so many unknown things 176 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,160 that you're just in his presence. 177 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,360 Like you're truly in his presence. 178 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,880 And so like for me, I have been so busy. 179 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,120 Like I have never cried as much as I have cried and has like 180 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,560 probably six weeks. Like it has been the most 181 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:19,080 overwhelming part of my life I've ever had. 182 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,680 I did not know I was going to be crying, but like I've just 183 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:26,440 gotten to the point where like I'm going through the motions 184 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,880 and like I'm having such a hard time. 185 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,480 Like even hearing from God at this point. 186 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,040 I'm sorry. I really didn't know I was going 187 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,200 to be crying like. This. 188 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,200 I thought that was going to be me, to be honest. 189 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,840 Oh my God. I think that's 'cause I can 190 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,040 barely catch my breath, 'cause I'm so pregnant. 191 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:49,560 This is so real right now, OK, But like, I have just been going 192 00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,000 through the motions, right? Like not going through the 193 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,320 motions. Like I'm still reading. 194 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,320 I'm still trying. Yeah. 195 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,080 But then like, I'm still recording. 196 00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,920 I'm still like having these deep conversations. 197 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,680 I'm still in a community. I'm going to like, group. 198 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:05,960 Like I'm doing all the things, but it's like I'm having such a 199 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:11,000 hard time balancing everything to the point where I'm so 200 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:15,960 overwhelmed like. So only feel like he's probably 201 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:19,360 so far away and. He's and feels like he's so far 202 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:21,920 away and I know he's not. I know he's not. 203 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,240 And like, you know, it's just hard when you're in these 204 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,080 seasons and it sometimes it's like, Lord, please don't do 205 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,000 anything crazy. But, you know, like, you want to 206 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:36,560 be in that broken state where you feel him and you hear from 207 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,160 him and you feel like you're growing so close to him. 208 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,920 Yeah, man, that's good. What's crazy is I wrote down 209 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:51,440 choosing to trust God right now is all that I can do right? 210 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,080 And I said, Lord, what does that look like to trust you in the 211 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,600 midst of a storm? I just put, I love you and want 212 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,000 my heart connected to your, to yours. 213 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,480 And what's the payoff for this storm? 214 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,320 And I literally write, it pays me intimacy with God to go 215 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,680 through this trial. Like what you're saying when 216 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,480 you're in those trials, when you're in the season and that is 217 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,800 what you're dealing with right now, you're in that season and 218 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,760 it is going to draw you closer to him. 219 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,120 But sometimes when we're in it, like what's been going on with 220 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:22,840 me those last few weeks when I'm in that storm, he felt so far 221 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,680 away. Like I've never felt like he was 222 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,040 so far away and not understanding what's going on. 223 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:32,760 Why is this happening? You know, am I going to lose my 224 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,360 child just so you have so many questions and you're like, wait, 225 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,320 those aren't things of God. You don't feel like they are. 226 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,440 But then you realize it's not those things or the 227 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:46,160 circumstances that dictates his faithfulness. 228 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:49,320 His faithfulness is going to stand throughout whatever 229 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:53,360 happens. But it is that the that becomes 230 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,440 the payoff in those trials is that intimacy with him. 231 00:12:56,880 --> 00:13:01,480 And so that kind of leads us into like what, you know, he put 232 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:08,360 on my heart to talk about too and going into what we can, I 233 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,240 guess start how to start the new year. 234 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:11,240 You know what I mean? How to? 235 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:17,680 Start my whole thing is like, you know, we talked about this 236 00:13:17,680 --> 00:13:21,320 so often it's like praise him even when you don't want to. 237 00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:25,320 And it doesn't feel like it's worth praising right now. 238 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:29,800 Like, yes, I'm going to continue doing what I'm supposed to do 239 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:33,720 because I know at the end of the day, he is still faithful. 240 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:37,720 He is still is the same God that he was when he was speaking so 241 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:42,400 loud and so clear to me. Yeah, you know, and so maybe, 242 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,600 you know, actually it's not. Maybe it's me, you know, like I 243 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,200 need to rest. This is when God calls you to be 244 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:52,400 still. This is when he calls you to sit 245 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:54,720 in his presence. And so the other night I was 246 00:13:54,720 --> 00:14:02,080 actually at 100%. I was at the well and Jessica 247 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,440 Cox, which at this point, I think you've already heard her 248 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,640 episode. And if not, you're about to hear 249 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,440 it. But she runs the well, and so 250 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:17,040 she was just saying, sometimes you gotta get on your knees even 251 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:22,040 when your heart isn't there and pray that your heart catches up 252 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,520 to your posture. And so when you're talking about 253 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:28,320 your heart posture, it's just like, man, like maybe my 254 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,440 posture's just been off, you know what I'm saying? 255 00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,760 Like maybe I've just been running ahead of God and trying 256 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,200 to get ahead of him and I need to sit there on my knees. 257 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,640 And but how do we surrender until we rest? 258 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,400 Yeah, how do we know? And so even last night we were 259 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:48,120 at CR and like they played my favorite worship song like well, 260 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:55,480 not beautiful name, but another one worthy of it all and worthy 261 00:14:55,480 --> 00:15:00,400 of it all. And worthy of my song. 262 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,800 I'm sorry. So they played those two and 263 00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:05,280 literally I'm like, you know what, let me just go to the 264 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,480 altar. And like, I just kept praying 265 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,840 the same thing like let my let my heart catch up. 266 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:15,080 Let my heart catch up, Lord, because right now, like I just 267 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,040 feel like my posture has been off, like I've been doing what 268 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:21,240 I'm supposed to do, but at the same time, like my heart posture 269 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:22,800 has connected. It's not connected. 270 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,520 And so well, I just sat there and I prayed that over and over 271 00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,240 again. And then just just saying at 272 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,400 altar. And then when I came back, I saw 273 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:37,120 Greg like y'all, I saw Greg looking at me like what's going 274 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,800 on? You know, Cuz like now because 275 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,640 stuff like this, people don't see, yes, these are difficulties 276 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,560 that are within that people don't know that you're going 277 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:50,040 through. And, you know, Greg's like, hang 278 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:53,960 on, I thought we're doing good. Like I thought, things are going 279 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,160 good. And now you're you don't go to 280 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,720 the altar much. And when you do, it's like he 281 00:15:58,720 --> 00:16:01,720 knows what's going on. And so like, sometimes, you 282 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,400 know, this is just things that people go through that you don't 283 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,440 see. And so, you know, one of the 284 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:10,720 biggest things that Abby wrote down in our nose or, you know, 285 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,680 you wrote down was like that rest. 286 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:18,040 And I'm like I need that. So I heard, I heard this video 287 00:16:18,040 --> 00:16:21,640 or saw this thing when I was just in the hospital and it 288 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:26,240 spoke so loud and clearly to me and then it and then the Lord 289 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,680 put these words on my heart. So I was kind of say what the 290 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,680 video said. But it's like, I want to be able 291 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:34,000 to be faithful and consistently study for 40 years and God say 292 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,200 well done versus running as hard and as fast as I can for the 293 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,000 next 10 years and not complete the full mission. 294 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:46,720 So then it was like, you know, gosh, then it was like I had 295 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:50,680 this picture of this fire, like thinking of that like running 296 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,280 and, and, and, and burning out in 10 years because I'm running 297 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,840 that race so fast and like getting ahead of him almost. 298 00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:01,000 And I just was saying, like, a fire burns out when it's not fed 299 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,440 properly, but it really burns out fastest when it's smothered. 300 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,480 And what I mean by that is, like, the distractions of this 301 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:12,839 life, busyness, constant noise around us that starts coming in 302 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:15,880 from outside, even if it's good noise. 303 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,800 Yeah. Even if it doesn't have to be 304 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,240 bad noise. Fear, worldly pressures that we 305 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,359 put on ourselves. Because I think what led up 306 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:28,800 almost to all of my health issues was because this 307 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,080 pregnancy, I've just been running as hard as I could. 308 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:36,560 Yeah, I just thought I'm going to just keep working as hard as 309 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,840 I can, taking care of my toddler, doing all of the things 310 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:44,600 with her, being, you know, top notch mom, trying to do 311 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,480 everything I can, working out, you know, multiple times a week. 312 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,600 Like not easy workouts. These were like really hard 313 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,240 workouts. You're crazy. 314 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,960 I ain't even went and I Nana and if Taylor Thomas is lit or 315 00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,280 Taylor care because listen to I still ain't coming. 316 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,400 Like working out as hard as I could while feeling awful and 317 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,560 being pregnant and being like, well, if you're not pushing 318 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,480 yourself and you weren't working 40 hours a week and you weren't 319 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:12,600 doing, you know, your Bible studies two times a week on top 320 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:16,000 of that and doing church and, and adding in all of these 321 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,760 things, then you're not doing enough. 322 00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,520 You know what I mean? And just keep running that race 323 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,800 and you will fall out. And that's kind of what happened 324 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:28,200 to me in my body essentially. And God said, Yep, here you go. 325 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,680 I'm going to. So this is how I'm going to slow 326 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,080 you down. Yeah. 327 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,560 And I feel like that's how I kind of got to where I'm at now 328 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,680 was because of that rat race I've been in. 329 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:43,840 And it wasn't even physically as much as it's been mentally, the 330 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:48,520 rat race, the staying on top of everything, my mind constantly 331 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:55,040 at work and never at rest. And, and I just look back at 332 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:57,680 Jesus's life and that was not his life. 333 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:02,160 You know, he had those times of work, but every single time he 334 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,760 did, whether it was before or after, he always withdrew and 335 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,200 rested. And I think that's something 336 00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,800 that I'm learning right now. So I was laying there one night, 337 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,280 the night that we got back from the hospital with Sutton. 338 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:21,000 And because so much goes through your head in your second 339 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:25,160 pregnancy when you're already a mom, your first pregnancy, like 340 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:29,160 if I ended up at the hospital or something happened, you know, it 341 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,640 was fine because I didn't have a child at home to take care of. 342 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,920 But this time, being at the hospital, it was like, oh, my 343 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,160 goodness, what do I do with satin? 344 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,920 And how do I make sure she's OK? But then I also have to take 345 00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:45,480 care of, you know, the baby inside of me and all of these 346 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,560 things. And it is hard to think about, 347 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,480 like, not being able to be there for your daughter that's already 348 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:57,200 here because of issues that you're having in your pregnancy. 349 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,120 It's just a whole different mindset when you're already a 350 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:01,160 mom and you're caring and you're pregnant. 351 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:03,960 But I laid there with Sutton when I got back. 352 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,640 And it was the like most at peace I had been just laying 353 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,480 there and just holding her and like just praying and just 354 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:17,320 thanking the Lord for just being it being as simple as just 355 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:22,720 laying there and resting. And He put these 3 words clear 356 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:27,360 as day on my heart of what I need to do this next year and 357 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,480 this next season that I'm about to walk into. 358 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:35,680 And He put rest and renew and reignite and Forrest, it was 359 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:40,760 meaning like, Lord, I'm here, here's my presence, like my 360 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:44,280 heart is 100% with you. And I don't know how long that's 361 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,320 going to take in that rest period for my heart to get there 362 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,520 completely in his presence and, and just resting in him and 363 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:57,200 learning how to do that, like on a daily, every morning, hour by 364 00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:02,280 hour, even in the craziness of life with a toddler and work and 365 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,440 everything else. But learning to truly rest with 366 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,680 him, Yeah, is something he wants me to learn how to do. 367 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:12,120 And renewing like Lord, change me, transform me. 368 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:15,480 And then reigniting like, Lord, now use me. 369 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:18,760 And I feel like this is a cycle that we need to stay in. 370 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,040 Yeah. This isn't just a one off thing 371 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:24,200 that I'm going to want to do. This is a cycle, and I think 372 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,240 this is kind of the cycle of Jesus's life if you look at it, 373 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,840 it was like he went rested and prayed and rested with his 374 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:35,360 Father and learned how to just be with the Lord and loved that. 375 00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:40,760 And then he was, Tray's heart was always transformed by what 376 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,120 his mission and what he was about to go and do. 377 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,280 And I just feel like that's a huge calling on our life to kind 378 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,040 of learn that pattern. So. 379 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:56,200 Well, I mean, I guess like for me, this is the first time since 380 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:02,040 I came to Christ in April of 2023 that I have felt the need 381 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:06,560 to reignite basically like like obviously the fire still 382 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,760 burning, the embers are still there. 383 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,800 Like, but there used to be a place, you know what I'm saying? 384 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:17,520 Like I was engulfed and just constantly hearing from God and 385 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,360 stuff like that. And it's like I I need a 386 00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:25,200 reigniting like I'm in. There's nothing that that he 387 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:28,560 changed. It's it was me like it was. 388 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,680 And I know. How are we going to carry this 389 00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:32,120 thing out all the way to the end? 390 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,800 We're. Just, you know, running on 391 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,680 Cartwright, Yes. And I mean, that's just always 392 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:41,440 been my personality. Like I want to be busy. 393 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:45,280 I want to do things like, and now I'm at the point where I'm 394 00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:49,760 like, OK, like I've, you know, I used to run them roads ragged, 395 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,080 ragged. BCI was in them roads, honey. 396 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,440 I was going somewhere. I was doing something. 397 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:59,360 So I've always had the mentality of if I've ran the roads like 398 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:02,880 that, then I'm going to run the roads for Christ the way the 399 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:07,640 same way that I did back then. And I'm like, but that's not 400 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,120 biblical. Like that's not what he calls us 401 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,800 to do. He calls us to rest. 402 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,520 I mean, we're supposed to be having a Sabbath. 403 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:20,120 Where is the Sabbath? But the Sabbath has not existed 404 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:25,040 in my life ever really. And I'm like, I need to 405 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:28,200 implement that. I need to make that a holy habit 406 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,480 in my life where I am practicing a Sabbath. 407 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:37,480 I am renewing my mind in Christ and renewing and getting that 408 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:42,760 fresh. Just mindset and him. 409 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,720 Yeah, yeah, for sure. And that's what I was saying. 410 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,920 I just felt like everything that I've recently been going 411 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:53,560 through, even though ours are totally different, it's like 412 00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:56,160 it's so similar. I know because, girl, we'd never 413 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,720 be crying in these. And we are crying, Yeah. 414 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,280 And it's a new year. It's going to be great though. 415 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,760 But it's somehow when we listen to this back and we're like man, 416 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,960 and just like a month and 1/2 right? 417 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,160 And it's just like we're, we're gonna be in a totally different 418 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,720 season. We will be, yeah. 419 00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,520 And that's how the Lord. Works shall pass. 420 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,640 So like, you know, even if you're listening to this and 421 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,400 you're coming into a new year and everything's not great and 422 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:24,280 handy dandy like us right now, the Lord God works everything 423 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:28,080 out good. That's just who he is and Jesus 424 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:30,520 will carry it out until into the end. 425 00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,600 I know that that is what His word says. 426 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,560 There's nothing else that you can convince me of. 427 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,160 So we are it is, it is going to be completed. 428 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:43,920 It is going to be good at the end of this. 429 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,040 We are going to make it. We're just kind of going through 430 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,880 it right now and that's okay. But you have to go through this 431 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:55,680 stuff to learn what we're talking about and get there to 432 00:24:55,680 --> 00:25:00,280 learn how to rest, to learn how to continue to be transformed by 433 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,760 Jesus. Because like you've always said, 434 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,000 and you say in every single episode, being unteachable is 435 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,960 the worst thing ever. And if we if we aren't coming 436 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,760 through these trials and doing something different with our 437 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,400 relationship with the Lord, what you know, where are we at? 438 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,240 What's going on? Because we should be. 439 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,960 I mean, I might be going through it, you might be going through 440 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,080 it, but we still know that God's good, yes. 441 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:30,520 Like I have been holding so firm on this scripture and I like 442 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:32,080 I've been talking about it multiple times. 443 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,160 Genesis 5020. OK, so and if you don't follow 444 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,200 me on TikTok, I was talking about this on TikTok. 445 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:41,880 So my stepdaughter got married and she had her guest book, 446 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,640 which had where a Bible where you highlight your favorite 447 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,480 scripture. And I did Genesis 5020. 448 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,720 And then the next day it was your baby shower, which I didn't 449 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,720 go to, but I saw her the next night and I did it again. 450 00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:58,760 You know, I wrote that in there for Lily's book. 451 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,440 We we had a Bible at our same. Thing. 452 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,520 Same concept. Yeah, but for Lily. 453 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:08,480 And then the next day, in my devotion, I literally got 454 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:12,360 Genesis 5020 again. And so for those don't know, 455 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,680 Genesis 5020, let me grab my Bible really quick. 456 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,480 Hang on. I mean, I know it, but I want to 457 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,680 read it. OK, So let's see. 458 00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,760 Let's see. Let's see. 459 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:27,960 Sorry, guys. All right. 460 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:35,200 And it just says you intended to harm me, but God intended it for 461 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,000 good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many 462 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,320 lives. And just like I've been just 463 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:45,880 standing firm on that, like knowing that the enemy means all 464 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,680 of this for evil, like all of this stuff that we go through 465 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:55,000 all these trials and just things like he wants us to turn back. 466 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:58,120 He wants it to destroy us and pull us away from God and make 467 00:26:58,120 --> 00:27:02,560 us think that God's not with us. And God is going to use these 468 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,080 trials. They're he's going to use all of 469 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,760 this evil that we think is like so evil and unusable. 470 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,120 He's going to use it like you and your pregnancy. 471 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:15,720 You're going to be able to witness and talk to other women 472 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,840 that are going through these same things right now in the 473 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,720 future. And then just even for me in 474 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,360 this season where like I'm just having to learn how to 475 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:30,720 steadfast, like even when it seems like I'm not hearing so 476 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:36,040 boldly from him or not feeling him around me, people are going 477 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,320 to go through the same thing. People are going to go through 478 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,320 this like this is part of life. And they're going to ask how you 479 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,360 made it, what he did in your life. 480 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:47,840 Now you can be on, you'll be on the other side of it and be able 481 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,440 to tell him. And like you're saying, you 482 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,120 know, I know God is working all this out for good. 483 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:58,040 So even when I was in that ambulance ride into Navisint and 484 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,920 when I got there, it's kind of funny because they put me on 485 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:07,400 something called magnesium sulfate and it will mess you up. 486 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,320 Like, it makes you feel crazy. You just feel like hot and feel 487 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:14,640 all of this stuff. And I don't know how it does it, 488 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,360 but yeah, it just made me feel crazy. 489 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:22,000 But even in the midst of that chaos, I just remember talking 490 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:27,000 to one of the nurses and just being like, girl, I've been 491 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,880 sober like 2 years. This magnesium has got me 492 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,320 feeling crazy like. And she was like, oh, that's 493 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,040 good. She probably thought I was 494 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,040 talking about like hardcore drugs. 495 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,160 Yeah. So they, they just thought I was 496 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:42,320 probably crazy. But I was like, Jesus literally 497 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,520 changed my life. Like, I don't do any of that 498 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:46,200 anymore. This has got me feeling crazy. 499 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,800 And I just kept tell them about Jesus and I'm like, no matter 500 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,000 where I'm at, he's going to work. 501 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:57,120 Like I just have to let him and hold on to that hope and hold on 502 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:58,800 to that faith. Like he's got this. 503 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:03,280 And it's so funny because the girl that ended up being my 504 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:06,400 nurse ended up running into my cousin. 505 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:10,400 They ended up finding out or knowing each other, being around 506 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,760 the same people. It was just weird how God kind 507 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,600 of worked everything out. So in the midst of our chaos, He 508 00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:21,160 is can still use us. And that's what's so great too. 509 00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,720 And He is still working behind the scenes, always. 510 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:29,280 It's just, you know, one thing that I just have been, and I act 511 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,880 like I don't hear from God. Like he's still been showing me 512 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,880 sign that he's there. You know what I'm saying? 513 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:37,080 Like, so I don't want people to be like, oh shit, you know, like 514 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:41,240 I'm he's still like, OK. For instance, the other day I 515 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,960 was praying and I was like, God, have I gotten ahead of you in 516 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,120 the podcast? Like true transparency? 517 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,640 Like I'm like, is this what you've called me to do? 518 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:55,040 Or did I make this up? Like, you know, and our minds do 519 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,280 things like this. Like you'll try to think that 520 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,680 things are coincidence or like you force these things to 521 00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,960 happen. And in reality, there's no way 522 00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:06,960 that I could have made all this happen, you know, like, I'm just 523 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,000 being dumb at this, but. I think it's, I mean, it's even 524 00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,840 written in Word to, you know, Lord test my heart, like Lord 525 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,400 check my heart. And this doesn't ever hurt to 526 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,760 always do that. That is Cherry's that it's 527 00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,280 Cherry. Because I'm like, Oh my gosh, 528 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,600 like, what if he says no? He cut it off, you know what I'm 529 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:25,400 saying? And then like, but that's one of 530 00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:29,200 those things where I'm like, OK, Lord, whatever you call me to do 531 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:33,000 because this is for you anyway. This was built for you anyway. 532 00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:36,320 So if this isn't going to glorify you and being glory to 533 00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,160 your name, then I don't want it. Yeah. 534 00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:41,040 You know. And so I prayed that the other 535 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:42,160 day. And then I get a message from a 536 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,240 girl and she's just like, I like, I truly love the podcast 537 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,160 so much. Like, you have no idea how much 538 00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:49,720 this has helped me in my faith. Like, just all this. 539 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,320 I'm like, OK. And then today, today I'm doing 540 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:56,520 it again. I'm like, Lord, I just just give 541 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,560 me another shot. And another girl literally text 542 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,800 me like 10 minutes after I said that same prayer. 543 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,840 And so I'm like, how many times does he have to say it, though? 544 00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,360 You know, like, why don't you believe it? 545 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,760 And then it makes me think about what I texted you the other 546 00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,200 night. Was it the other night? 547 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,000 Yeah. Was it yesterday? 548 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:17,560 OK, so I basically takes this because I read it and it says 549 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,400 about trusting God and it's like when you have a teenager and 550 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,240 they ask you to do something, you don't have to trust. 551 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:28,120 You need all a lot of details, right? 552 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:30,600 Did I say that right? Yeah, yeah, I'm reading it. 553 00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,240 So it should be right. But it's like that is true 554 00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:35,600 because if you don't trust somebody, you're. 555 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,200 OK, tell me a million questions. Tell me what's going on. 556 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,400 Tell me what's like what's going on? 557 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:44,080 But then when you do trust, you don't need the details. 558 00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:47,520 And it's like lately for me and you both like we're asking all 559 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,680 these questions because we're lacking faith. 560 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:56,320 We're we're truly not trusting God and his goodness and what 561 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,120 he's promised us. Like we feel like we need all 562 00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:03,280 these details and it's like, do you trust Him plain and simple? 563 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:09,240 And even the other night when I was at the well, they open up 564 00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:14,000 and they are talking about Proverbs 3 five, trust in the 565 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:17,000 Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own 566 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:21,600 understanding in all your ways. Submit to him and he will make 567 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,800 your path straight. And she started off and it she 568 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,760 was like, what does that scripture say? 569 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:29,720 Trust in the Lord with a little bit of your heart, right? 570 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,400 Trust in the Lord and lean on your own understanding if it 571 00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,000 doesn't make sense and that's not real. 572 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,440 No, like that's not what it says. 573 00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,560 It means trust with all of your heart. 574 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,280 Lean on not our understanding. We don't understand why we're 575 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,560 going. We don't understand anything. 576 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:48,560 Babe, I don't know nothing, OK, You know, I'm not trusting 577 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,000 myself. I'm I'm I feel like I'm still a 578 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,280 teenager. You know what I'm saying? 579 00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:55,760 Like I'm a kid. So I don't trust whatever I got 580 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,080 going on. But it says in all of your ways, 581 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:00,160 submit to him. And I think that relates back to 582 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:04,160 Matthew 633. Speak first the Kingdom submit 583 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,400 to him and and he will make your path straight. 584 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,560 That righteousness seek his righteousness and it'll be added 585 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,680 to you. Like literally. 586 00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:17,720 Yeah, just I'm just like so overwhelmed of like how I've 587 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:20,080 I've literally been saying this episode that I'm not hearing 588 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,600 from him and then I'm like listening to myself and I'm 589 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,760 like, but you are. He is. 590 00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:26,160 He's all around us. Yeah, he's. 591 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,640 He's literally talking to you right there, like. 592 00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,320 Sometimes our problem is just ourselves listening in. 593 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:35,200 Ourselves for sure. Another thing, I was writing a 594 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,960 message message and I ended up not even using it, but I heard 595 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,240 it one time about Airpods, right? 596 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:45,200 So Airpods have that noise cancellation feature or they 597 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:50,040 have that transparency feature where the transparency feature, 598 00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:53,160 you hear everything that's going wrong around you. 599 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,800 It's amplified where it's like so crystal clear that you just 600 00:33:56,800 --> 00:33:59,400 hear every little voice. Or you can put that noise 601 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,680 cancellation on and it's just whatever's in your ears. 602 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,560 And it's like you need to make sure that you got that noise 603 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,320 cancellation on. So it's not your voice, it's not 604 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:12,120 the enemy's voice. It's not those voices and noises 605 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:16,639 around you that you are truly in line with God, where all you're 606 00:34:16,639 --> 00:34:21,080 hearing is His voice and you can decipher when it's His voice. 607 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,880 And I think that's when it is so important to go into those 608 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,159 periods of rest. Yeah. 609 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,280 So you can cancel out all of that noise and then hear from 610 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:33,840 him, which is kind of, you know, where I see us going, especially 611 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:39,120 into this new season about have two kids learning to rest and 612 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:42,000 just be with him as much as possible. 613 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,679 Learning to cancel out all of that noise, the worldly noise, 614 00:34:45,679 --> 00:34:49,000 everything that's going on, even if that means taking a break 615 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,360 from social media, taking a break from everything, like 616 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:57,040 literally, you know, not chasing after anything but him. 617 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:58,560 And I don't know how long that looks. 618 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,760 Maybe it's two months, maybe it's only a month. 619 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,880 You know, that's kind of his time frame on that rest period 620 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,360 for us. But I know he's been shaping our 621 00:35:08,480 --> 00:35:13,520 my heart and getting ready for that because so much is about to 622 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,200 change that if we didn't do this, if he didn't go ahead and 623 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,680 say, all right, you need to slow down and we go into having 624 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,800 another kid, it just amplifies that noise. 625 00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:25,640 What you're talking about. Our life is about to be 626 00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:27,960 amplified with adding more stuff to our plate. 627 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,760 You got another kid crying. You got this one over here doing 628 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,880 this. Then things start coming in your 629 00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,280 marriage. And if you don't, if we didn't, 630 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,880 if we don't stop now and learn how to rest in his presence and 631 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:43,280 hear His voice and cancel out everything else in that chaos, 632 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,200 everything will. Everything else will seem so 633 00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,400 loud. And so that's, I think the 634 00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,440 learning aspect for me. Like what you're talking about. 635 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,120 That's so good. I'm really trying to like be 636 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:59,480 more intentional with my time, like blocking out like now that 637 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,560 I have a lease helping me and like being my assistant and 638 00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,320 stuff, I'm like put it on the calendar. 639 00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:08,480 Like I can't just don't just be trying to throw which she don't 640 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,720 do this, but I do this like I'm like, Oh yeah, yeah. 641 00:36:11,840 --> 00:36:15,000 And then I get to the day and I got 42 other things because I 642 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,760 didn't schedule properly. And so like now I'm trying to be 643 00:36:17,760 --> 00:36:20,920 intentional. Like I'm off on Thursdays at 644 00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:23,840 this time when you hear this, I'm off on Thursdays until the 645 00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,200 end of the year. So today's my last, tomorrow's 646 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:30,880 my last Thursday off. But I like every Thursday, like 647 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,360 me and Greg just spending the day together, like truly, like 648 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:38,720 put everything else to the side, like let me spend time with Greg 649 00:36:38,720 --> 00:36:41,160 and make these things count. And like actually putting 650 00:36:41,160 --> 00:36:45,800 recordings and times where I'm like, OK, like I can't be as 651 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,520 flexible as I was. Like I need to stick to this 652 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:49,640 because I'm going to get burnt out. 653 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000 And like ministry burnout's real. 654 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,280 Like, and I've always heard of that. 655 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:57,120 And I'm like, how I love the Lord and I love doing things for 656 00:36:57,120 --> 00:36:58,480 the Lord. Like what are you talking about? 657 00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:00,800 How? But it's like, no, if you keep 658 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,680 going, that fire is going to dwindle and dwindle and dwindle 659 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:05,440 for sure. That cup's going to be empty. 660 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,560 You're going to be pouring out nothing because you're 661 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,640 overfilling your time. You're overfilling your 662 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:11,760 schedule. Yeah. 663 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,040 So I'm, like, trying to be so intentional about things like 664 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:19,840 really going into the new year of like, OK, this is what my 665 00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,720 schedule looks like. And I'm not pivoting anymore 666 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,640 like this is. That time we're going to do this 667 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,520 and now I'm completely and turning everything else off and 668 00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:32,680 fit. In that like, if they're in a 669 00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,800 spot, I'm not going to make it right. 670 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,640 I need to yield to the Holy Spirit, like let him pick and 671 00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:44,480 choose because I also like just got a new position at work. 672 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:46,840 And so it's like over all the guest services. 673 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,520 And so my photography team and media team and all this stuff 674 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:54,640 was a team of 15. OK, that was very manageable, 675 00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,040 but now I'm moving into this new season where I'm getting a whole 676 00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:02,760 new team and keeping my old team and this is like over 100 and 677 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:06,080 something people on this team. And so it's a lot more 678 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:08,600 responsibility. And I think God was already 679 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:13,080 test, not testing me, but like showing me you got to figure it 680 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:17,000 out, like you got to get things where, hey, this time period 681 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,040 you're doing this, this is, this is for this because I do wear so 682 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:24,000 many hats, like with my job at work and sisters of faith and 683 00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:29,560 the praises and the pod and just my, my main job of being a wife, 684 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:32,640 you know, like I'm having to learn these things. 685 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,160 So it's like, I'm glad I'm learning now before I move full 686 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:39,400 time into that new position, which I'm full time now, but 687 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:44,000 just more responsibility where I can figure this out before I 688 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,240 jump in. And I'm like, oh, something's 689 00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,720 going to he. Really is working behind the 690 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:50,760 scenes always because you're about to take on a bigger role. 691 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,920 I'm about to take on a bigger part of my life and he's 692 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:57,760 teaching us like you better rest so then you can be renewed and 693 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,800 transformed by me for some to make it through that next 694 00:39:00,800 --> 00:39:03,520 season. Because we cannot do this on our 695 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,280 own. We cannot do this without his 696 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:09,120 strength helping us through it. And I think that he knows that 697 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:13,040 this is exactly what we need. And so just sitting with him and 698 00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:17,360 doing that, that's The thing is we got to actually do it, which. 699 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:22,120 Two, on top of that, it has like he's already been preparing us 700 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,880 because like we are so far out in episodes. 701 00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,280 So like last week we were supposed to record, but 702 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,200 obviously my girl was in the hospital. 703 00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,360 Unless I bring the Myers up there we. 704 00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:35,080 Probably would have been entertainment, but since you 705 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:39,640 were all looped up and everything, no, But you know, 706 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,240 like we are so far out. And that was one of my 707 00:39:42,240 --> 00:39:46,920 intentions of being able to like record, record, record. 708 00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:50,720 So when Lily's here, you know, like you're not stressed, then 709 00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:52,320 I'm not having to put this pressure on you. 710 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,160 Like, hey, I really need you to come record. 711 00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:01,400 But also like, you know, just being able to be, yeah, like, 712 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,520 not always just like, having conversations with women and not 713 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,320 instantly having to bring them in and record just because I 714 00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,000 feel like I'm rushed. Yeah, you're all the time 715 00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:11,080 crunch. Yeah. 716 00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:12,560 Yeah. So that's good. 717 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:14,480 What else? You got. 718 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:18,640 I just think like, you know, we're kind of been talking a lot 719 00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:24,440 about rest, but like, what comes with that, you know, what I want 720 00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,680 to try to get better at in the new year is allowing scripture 721 00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:36,480 to like rebuild my thinking, my heart, and Scripture being 722 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,000 something I write out more and journal more. 723 00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,360 Oh, I just read this thing the other day where people are 724 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,200 writing the whole Bible. Oh, wow. 725 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,880 Yeah, OK. That took you by shock, I. 726 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:50,200 Thought we were doing small goals. 727 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,440 Small, like a lot of y'all don't be watching, but her face was 728 00:40:54,440 --> 00:40:57,560 shocked. OK, but yeah, so I was watching 729 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,320 where people like literally are writing it all out. 730 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,640 And I'm like, that is that that's something, you know, 731 00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:07,760 that's cool because you know, when you do write things, you 732 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:10,640 remember things easier, you know, but. 733 00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:16,760 Like I want, you know, his word embedded in me so much that when 734 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:22,000 I'm feeling not loved, you know what comes to my mind. 735 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:25,560 I know I'm adopted. Girl, that is so crazy. 736 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,640 That's my scripture. That's my devotion for today. 737 00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:28,560 Oh. Wow. 738 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:33,000 Did you get this devotion girl? Yes, yes, yes, yes. 739 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,160 You agree all that today. Oh, that made me. 740 00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,360 That's going along with one because. 741 00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:40,480 I'm like, there's no way. I mean, there is a way, God, 742 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:45,080 yes, but literally today's was I'm adopted, I'm accepted, I'm 743 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,280 forgiven. I'm predestined. 744 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,120 I am raised and seated in heavily rounds. 745 00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:55,320 I am created for good works. I am called to internal glory. 746 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,440 I am more than a conqueror. I'm an overcomer. 747 00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:01,320 I am never forsaken. It's good. 748 00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,360 And we could. I couldn't say all of those 749 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:06,440 things if he wasn't alive in me, even if it wasn't through his 750 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:10,440 strength giving me all of that. But I just want to spend more 751 00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:16,000 time with him and letting him show me who I am in in his eyes, 752 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,000 in him and journaling that out more. 753 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:23,080 And you know, with what we've all had going on, it's like I 754 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:24,400 never had time for that. Yeah. 755 00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:27,680 But that's the most important thing that I should be doing 756 00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:31,240 really and truly and being renewed in him. 757 00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:36,160 So making more time for that and resting in him more resting with 758 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,880 my family. You know, I really believe that 759 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,160 priority is very important with God coming 1st and then my 760 00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:47,280 husband and then our children. But keeping those right there 761 00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:51,400 because I think a lot of people and I I see this in the church 762 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:58,040 too, kind of go God ministry then family, family or kids and 763 00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:01,960 wife and it gets in that order. And that's when I see things, 764 00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,000 you know, where you would think a pastor's kid or a kid that 765 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:10,640 grew up with a parent that really did love the Lord, but 766 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,360 maybe just sitting in the priorities, right? 767 00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:16,000 The kids saying, I've seen my dad or mom do all of that for 768 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,800 somebody else. But, you know, I don't know if 769 00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,880 they would do that for me because they did it all 770 00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:23,520 throughout ministry, but they neglected their children. 771 00:43:24,240 --> 00:43:27,960 And I just want to keep that priority straight and learn to 772 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:33,880 be with my husband and my kids and then the ministry and what 773 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:35,400 the Lord's going to call us to do. 774 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,520 I'm glad you brought that up because Matt, even I went and 775 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:42,200 talked to Matt, our pastor, our lead pastor, but I talked to him 776 00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:44,920 at one point and he was like, you have to make sure you keep 777 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:51,120 that balance right of fam God family ministry, Because if not, 778 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,920 Greg will resent ministry. We will resent the church 779 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,600 because at that time he wasn't a follower of Christ. 780 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,280 He he hadn't surrendered his life. 781 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,080 He brought that up, yes. He literally would tell me that 782 00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:06,360 all the time. Did I do it? 783 00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,600 Well, no, yeah, I didn't balance it. 784 00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:10,600 I did put ministry over relationship. 785 00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,160 So he did resent it. He would talk so negatively 786 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:17,040 about it and like be he couldn't understand, he couldn't fathom 787 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:17,720 whiles do it. I've. 788 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:20,960 Seen that clear as day on a marriage I've seen where the 789 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:26,800 spouse literally resents church because the spouse does 790 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,400 everything for the church. Everything for the ministry and 791 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,000 the other spouse, the wife or the husband is totally 792 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,200 neglected. Well, kids and kids. 793 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:38,240 And then then they start questioning things about the 794 00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:42,320 Lord and they start and it's not because it wasn't a true real 795 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,920 relationship. It's because things got off 796 00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,200 balance. And because we start running 797 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:50,320 that rat race and because we get in that busy life and because we 798 00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,520 get in that I've got to do this and excel and check off all of 799 00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:57,880 every single box and try to make ourselves look good for the Lord 800 00:44:58,240 --> 00:45:01,360 and turn kind of causes some chaos on the back end with your 801 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:03,720 family. So I'm so glad he brought that 802 00:45:03,720 --> 00:45:08,960 up because to me that is this Rest, renew and reignite is to 803 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:12,640 make sure that balance stays in place in my family because I'm 804 00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:17,240 almost getting to the point where I do not like the American 805 00:45:17,240 --> 00:45:19,760 lifestyle. You finna move girl? 806 00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:22,240 I just, I'll move them. Yes, syrup. 807 00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,400 Yes, Australia. Iceland. 808 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:30,720 Anywhere but he. But it's it's it's become the 809 00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:34,440 devil is all in it. I just see him all in it. 810 00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:37,800 And I see these kids starving for their parents attention. 811 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:40,360 That's whether they're following Christ or not. 812 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,000 But I see it more when the when the ones that are following 813 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:46,080 Christ and we're like, what are we doing? 814 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:49,520 You know, we have lost the simplicity of life. 815 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:54,800 We have lost just being with the Lord and being at the table with 816 00:45:54,800 --> 00:46:00,680 our family and just just being in his presence because we're 817 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:03,000 just adding so much to our plate. 818 00:46:03,320 --> 00:46:06,320 And then we're wondering, well, my kids grew up in church, but 819 00:46:06,440 --> 00:46:10,240 they don't know the Lord how. And I'm not saying every kid 820 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:13,640 that grows up in the church is is going to know the Lord, but 821 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:17,160 at the rate it is today, it's just alarming. 822 00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:21,240 And so I, you know, for me, I'm like, I hate that American 823 00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:25,080 lifestyle where you're, you know, people and, and it's, it's 824 00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:27,880 sad because it's where we are in the world and it's where we are 825 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,720 financially. But I think trying to find ways, 826 00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:36,000 even people that are having to work 2 jobs doing certain things 827 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:39,360 just to make ends meet, trying to find that rest in the Lord 828 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:42,160 and, and with your husband and, and with your kids. 829 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:43,120 Yeah. That's good. 830 00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:47,160 But I'm excited for this next year to start that, just to have 831 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:51,920 that mindset of where we're at and what we need to do going 832 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,480 forward, like what he's put on our heart and now we need to 833 00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,680 just carry it out. Yeah, that's good. 834 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,720 I guess as we begin to close this, like how do you kind of 835 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:04,120 want to close this out today? Did you have anything really 836 00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:07,120 else or? No, I mean, I'm just excited for 837 00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,720 what God's put on my heart. And I feel like he's kind of put 838 00:47:09,720 --> 00:47:12,960 the same thing on your heart about having that rest, getting 839 00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:16,600 renewed by him, you know, doing certain things, making sure the 840 00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:20,760 balance is right within my family, and then being reignited 841 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,000 because you know, he's going to use that in some way, shape or 842 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,560 form. He will use it for his glory. 843 00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,240 And that's all we want to make sure of, right? 844 00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:34,720 So I'm just excited for that. It's crazy to say, like to be 845 00:47:34,720 --> 00:47:37,920 thankful for your trials. Some people understand that, 846 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,080 some people don't. But I really am thankful for 847 00:47:40,080 --> 00:47:42,640 this trial. It has taught me so much. 848 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,320 It's still teaching me so much. I have had to give up so much 849 00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,280 control over to him and just throw my hands up and say, OK, 850 00:47:48,280 --> 00:47:51,520 Lord, like literally when I was in the back of that ambulance, 851 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,920 I'm like, OK, Lord, I'm here and you know who's behind me? 852 00:47:54,920 --> 00:47:56,800 I'll talk to him. Tell him a little bit about you, 853 00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:01,120 tell him a little bit about Jesus and just ride this wave, 854 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,720 ride this life with him. So I'm excited to see what he's 855 00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:07,280 going to do in this next chapter, in this next year, and 856 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,360 I know he's going to use it. Because next episode, you're 857 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,680 going to be a mother of two. Yes. 858 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:15,640 Mother of crazy. Yeah, I am. 859 00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:18,840 You know, I've been saying this a lot on my TikTok more recently 860 00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,280 too, of just like what a blessing it is to be tired from 861 00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:27,360 the things that you prayed for. And yes, like I know without a 862 00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,400 shadow of a doubt that these are blessings from God, Like truly 863 00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,120 everything that I've been praying for for the past year. 864 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:38,000 Like if you go back and listen to episode, I don't even know 865 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:42,880 what episode it was, but it was like the first year, first week 866 00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:47,760 of the years episode of 2025. Like I was like talking about my 867 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:50,760 job and how I was excited for it and all this stuff. 868 00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:53,440 And like how I was praying, you know, just to be used and how 869 00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:55,800 the podcasts flourish and all this stuff. 870 00:48:55,800 --> 00:49:00,720 And it's like man, just or even as simple as like Ansley and 871 00:49:00,720 --> 00:49:03,440 Evan, like I remember in my journals just praying for her to 872 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:07,280 marry a godly man and all this. And now did that wedding end up 873 00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:10,920 being on a weekend where I am so busy with absolutely everything. 874 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:14,160 And then I had a gala for Sisters of Faith the next week, 875 00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:15,960 which is an answer to pray on itself. 876 00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:19,360 And just like they're all answered prayers and they're all 877 00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:25,240 from God, but at the same time, like just truly, you know, 878 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,600 trying to yield, trying to be still trying to take some of 879 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:33,880 this stuff and rearrange it where it's like my main focus is 880 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:37,560 on God. So that's just really what like 881 00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:40,680 where my heart posture is right now and where I'm trying to get 882 00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:45,160 my heart posture even lower. Like just, I want to be face 883 00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:52,320 down in full surrender and just just really going into 2026 with 884 00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:56,200 that mindset and that heart posture, I was like, here I am 885 00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:00,320 Lord truly, 100% I'm, I'm a vessel. 886 00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:02,200 I mean, I want to be and I'm present. 887 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:04,640 Yeah. I don't want to just do all this 888 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:06,560 to do it. I want to do it in your name. 889 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:11,200 I want to do it for you. I want to be a, a disciple of 890 00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:13,560 Jesus. Like, so that's it. 891 00:50:13,560 --> 00:50:16,400 That's good. That's good, Goodyear. 892 00:50:16,400 --> 00:50:19,920 Yep, Greg down there watching Miss Sutton Joe right now and I 893 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:22,920 I did text him in the middle of the episode and I'm like, how's 894 00:50:22,920 --> 00:50:26,040 it going And he sent me a video and I'm like, babe, I can't 895 00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:27,520 watch it. I can't watch it. 896 00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:31,200 It was just like either a thumbs up or a thumbs down or hurry up. 897 00:50:31,240 --> 00:50:33,600 You know, he said a video. So anyway. 898 00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:35,280 That means it's probably going really good. 899 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:39,240 Yes. Well, guys, this 2025, let me 900 00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:42,600 tell you, it has been a year for PITP. 901 00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,360 I cannot like we cannot. Thank you guys. 902 00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:52,280 Nothing like I just to think of how far PITP has come is like 903 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,120 absolutely mind. It's mind blowing. 904 00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:58,160 It is truly like God you are so good and like you have just 905 00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:00,480 opened all these doors, doors, doors is. 906 00:51:00,560 --> 00:51:03,400 We just underestimate him so much sometimes you know what he 907 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,880 can do. Literally like I got a call and 908 00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:09,080 I'm going, which they asked for Abby too, but you know, Abby 909 00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,840 didn't want to go or she couldn't because the baby's 910 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,000 going to be young. But we're going to Kentucky. 911 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:19,080 So if you're anywhere near Kentucky or Danville, I think 912 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,480 it's awesome. Yes, we're going to be there in 913 00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,360 May, so make sure you check it out. 914 00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:27,040 I can put the URL here for you to sign up. 915 00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,720 But anyway, if you've been enjoying PITP, make sure you 916 00:51:29,720 --> 00:51:35,320 like share, comment, subscribe. We are just like booming and 917 00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:39,880 doing just many things, but we want other people to hear from 918 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,800 God and hear from us and hear what we've learned and just be a 919 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,400 part of this community together. So anyway, I've been babbling. 920 00:51:45,720 --> 00:51:48,200 Let me let me turn it off. Anyway, stay tuned, stay 921 00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:49,480 blessed, and we'll see you guys later. 922 00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:50,320 Bye.