1 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:21,450 What's up guys? My name is Alexis. 2 00:00:21,450 --> 00:00:23,410 And I'm Abby. And we are your host with 3 00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:25,730 praises in the pod. We were super stoked we got 4 00:00:25,730 --> 00:00:28,730 Dexter joining us again today. You may recognize him. 5 00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:31,290 He was in our very beginning episodes. 6 00:00:31,290 --> 00:00:34,800 I think it was like 7 or 8, which was an awesome episode. 7 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,760 So if you have not listened to it, make sure you go back and 8 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,960 listen. And 1st it starts out with Abbys 9 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,000 testimony and then we bring Dexter in and it's them together 10 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,760 and it's just so beautiful. So go check that out. 11 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,880 We're going to be talking about fathers today and just a very 12 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,000 special Father's Day episode with Father's Day being here, 13 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,040 but we're going to start off in prayer and then we're going to 14 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,120 jump right in. So here we go. 15 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,880 Lord Heavenly Father, thank you for all that you have done in 16 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:58,960 our lives. Lord God, thank you for allowing 17 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,640 us to have this space where we can come together and talk about 18 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,440 your goodness and your faithfulness and what all you've 19 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,000 done in our lives. Lord God, we pray that you 20 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,600 always speak to us, You always speak through us, and let this 21 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,760 episode glorify you in Jesus name, I pray. 22 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:16,000 Amen. Amen. 23 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,440 So let's get it poppin when we were. 24 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,960 Talking. I was outside at the half film 25 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,920 today. I think it's always fun when 26 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:25,640 there's multiple people that you can ping off of, you know? 27 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,480 But when we were talking about like doing a Father's Day 28 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,400 episode, I'm like, girl, I didn't have a father until like 29 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,000 2008, you know? I was old. 30 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:35,440 Same. Yeah. 31 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:37,000 So I was like, what are we going to talk about? 32 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,240 But then when you said, what about Dexter coming on, I was 33 00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,080 like, OK, I feel a little bit better. 34 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,400 You know, but to me, everyone's experience of Father's Day is 35 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,480 different. And so that's what I had come to 36 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:50,520 my mind or what God placed on my heart was there's and things 37 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,960 that we're going to talk about today is going to be full of 38 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,640 Lovejoy, but then there's also hurt. 39 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,720 And the one thing that God put on my heart to really go over 40 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,120 today is forgiveness, just to kind of touch on that. 41 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,320 Because everyone's experience of Father's Day or their experience 42 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:10,199 with their father is so different and unique. 43 00:02:10,199 --> 00:02:14,520 Yeah, but it's shaped myself, yourself and who we are today, 44 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,440 as well as Dexter. And to see all of those 45 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,440 viewpoints come together, I think is going to be really 46 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:19,880 cool. Yeah, definitely. 47 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:25,280 When I was thinking about that, I was just like, I had so many 48 00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:29,080 hurts from my dad that at the beginning I didn't even realize 49 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:32,360 that they were hurts until I took my 12 step to class and we 50 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,640 talked about 12 step a lot. So take that class. 51 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,880 But like, I didn't even realize that, you know, I had those 52 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:42,160 issues with my father. So it was just like a big eye 53 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,320 opening experience. So I'm just excited to jump in. 54 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:46,680 Yeah. Me too. 55 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,560 I'm really excited for where this we'll go today. 56 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:52,680 For sure, Dexter, tell us a little bit about your childhood 57 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:54,240 with your dad. Because like, you and your dad 58 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,400 are like besties. So let's start with your dad. 59 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,760 Yeah, yeah. I, I mean, I think first I want 60 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,680 to say I don't think I realized that like Father's Day, Mother's 61 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:09,200 Day was a sad time for some people until just in the recent 62 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,280 years. Because for me, growing up, it 63 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:14,600 was always celebratory. Like it was always a fun day. 64 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,920 It was a happy day. Like let's celebrate Dad, let's 65 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:20,640 celebrate Mom. So, you know, I know it's hard 66 00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:24,840 for a lot of people, whereas some people it's a great day, 67 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:29,000 but, you know, I think we just, we still need to remember those 68 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:33,600 that don't have the relationship with their dad and. 69 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,480 They've lost their dad, too. Or just have a difficult 70 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,920 relationship with their dad and need to work through that 71 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,520 forgiveness. But yeah, I mean, my 72 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:46,000 relationship with my dad growing up was always really good. 73 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:51,200 He was always present in our house, always, you know, led the 74 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:56,000 family in a, in a godly Christian way, you know, and, 75 00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:03,080 and his influence on my walk was really by his walk. 76 00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,880 You know, it was never, I mean, he, he, he drug me to church. 77 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:11,240 Yeah. Like, you know, it was mandatory 78 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,480 that I was going to church with the family as a as a kid. 79 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,880 You didn't have a choice. Yeah, I didn't. 80 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,480 I didn't. Which we really do need to keep 81 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:21,600 that same mentality like with our kids. 82 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:25,000 Like I know that they get older and it's like such a pain and 83 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:25,880 they don't want to come to church. 84 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:28,880 But like you saying like he forced you to go to church, like 85 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,120 you knew you were going to church on Sunday morning, like 86 00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:34,440 keep that in your your kids lives like now because now you 87 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,680 see the fruit of you going to church when you were a kid. 88 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:39,840 Right. It, it's, it's the foundation, 89 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:42,880 whether you're paying attention when you're there or not, it's 90 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,440 the people that are there that poured into my life and the 91 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:51,640 foundation that I have and how I see that like paying me back 92 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:55,600 tenfold now in my adult life. And now that I do have a 93 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,320 stronger relationship with the Lord, I look back at memories 94 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,520 and I think about, you know, the people that were there and that 95 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,720 did pour into me even though I didn't want to be there. 96 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:10,000 But back to my dad, I just remember, you know, his personal 97 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:15,120 walk being more influential than him actually dragging me to 98 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:19,080 church. Like I remember watching him 99 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,600 every morning before leaving school. 100 00:05:22,840 --> 00:05:24,880 He had, and he still does it to this day. 101 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,880 We just went on vacation last week with and, and he did it 102 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:33,240 every morning, but he has his Bible, his physical Bible, his 103 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,280 electronic device. So I knew he was reading the 104 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:39,040 Bible, not just on his phone. You know, I didn't, you can't 105 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,840 tell what people are doing on their phones these days. 106 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:45,240 So his physical Bible and he's got this little booklet and it's 107 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,560 his monthly devotion booklet. He picked one up every month at 108 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:54,480 the church we, I grew up going to and I would see him read that 109 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,680 and read his and read his Bible every morning. 110 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,440 And it was, you know, 5 minutes, not super long, but he'd get 111 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,880 down with his reading, he'd take his hat off, he'd pray and we'd 112 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,240 leave and go to school. It was every day, you know, and 113 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,640 I told Abby when she was kind of talking about what we were going 114 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,640 to talk about. I kind of told her that story. 115 00:06:15,640 --> 00:06:20,160 And I was like, I remember a lot of mornings we were like behind, 116 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,920 like we were late. I knew we were going to be late. 117 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:25,640 I don't want to be late for school until this day. 118 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:29,720 I hate being late so but he's sitting there reading his, his 119 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,440 devotion in his Bible. And I'm like, bro, we kind of, 120 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,200 we got, we got to go. Yeah. 121 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,800 And he's like, no, you know, I'm going to finish this. 122 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,600 And I'd just be sitting there like by the door, just arms 123 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,160 crossed. Mad. 124 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:48,960 Just looking at him like you got to be kidding me, but he was 125 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:54,120 very consistent. And I think that impacted, you 126 00:06:54,120 --> 00:07:00,480 know, my personal walk now with just the consistency in the 127 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:06,760 daily scripture, in the daily, you know, growth that I want to 128 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:11,320 pursue as a father and as the head of the household now. 129 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,880 Yeah, well, I mean, because we think of the same thing as like 130 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,720 tithing, right? Like we give and then somehow 131 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,280 God makes it work. And then like with our time, 132 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,960 your dad's like, I don't care for running late. 133 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,880 We're going to get those minutes back because God's going to make 134 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,880 it all work because I'm used to sacrificed to that first portion 135 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,520 of your day to him. And I just love the physical 136 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:34,800 Bible aspect because we have went into that generation of 137 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,800 like, oh, we're reading on our phones. 138 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,480 Like even in church, like I'll see kids on their phone and 139 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,920 sometimes they are taking notes. But like, you don't know if 140 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,240 they're reading. You don't know if you're. 141 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,400 So it's just hard. But for you, like you got to 142 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:49,080 witness your dad actually use his physical Bible every morning 143 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:52,160 and just pour that time. Like that's just so awesome. 144 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,640 Yeah. Abby, what about like, what's 145 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,960 one of your first like, things like thinking about fathers at a 146 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:01,160 young age? Well, when I wanted to talk 147 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:04,840 about this with you, I'm like, this is how our relationship 148 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,520 started. Literally, if you think about 149 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:12,800 it, me and Alexis kind of bonded over, I remember being in middle 150 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:16,160 school and figuring out I think who your dad was. 151 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,480 And then you were like, wait, your dad is so and so. 152 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,000 And we realized that they were not present in our lives. 153 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,240 And we kind of bonded on that. Just in knowing that that was a 154 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,480 hurt that we both had, even though at the time we didn't 155 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,480 realize, oh, you're hurting, I'm hurting. 156 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,760 That's why we're friends. But it kind of happened that 157 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:35,520 way. So for me, you know, my father 158 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,640 was completely absent in my life and caused a lot of hurt to our 159 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,480 family growing up in in those younger years in my life. 160 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:49,040 So I didn't have good fond memories, things to look up to, 161 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:53,480 things to hold on to or carry going forward. 162 00:08:53,840 --> 00:09:00,360 So for me, that relationship took a lot of forgiveness that 163 00:09:00,360 --> 00:09:03,360 had to take place. And and this is things that I 164 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:08,960 was talking to Dexter about and in kind of asking him, I think 165 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:13,200 when you have, and maybe this is just me or maybe you feel this 166 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,440 way too. Having an absent father in my 167 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:21,200 life almost hindered me accepting the love of Christ in 168 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,120 my life for a long time and truly understanding the 169 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:30,440 forgiveness that he had for me because I was caring, not not 170 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,080 being able to forgive somebody else in my life. 171 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,680 And so I couldn't understand, wait, He's forgiven me for 172 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:41,800 everything I've ever done. I couldn't wrap my mind around 173 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,200 that because I couldn't do that for somebody else. 174 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,840 So it took, I think a little while for me to truly understand 175 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:52,600 how Christ works and it almost hindered that relationship for 176 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,600 me. Where I was asking Dexter, I 177 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:58,200 said, do you think, you know, growing up with a present father 178 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:00,840 and having that good relationship and that great 179 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:05,120 example in your life, do you feel like it helped you with 180 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:08,720 growing closer to the Lord and helped you to be able to accept 181 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,080 his forgiveness and his love and what he did on the cross for you 182 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,240 a little bit easier? And I talked to him and and a 183 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,160 few others in his family about that and it almost did seem 184 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:23,800 like, you know, yes, because I had a father who did, you know, 185 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:28,400 love me earth side. So when I found out what Christ 186 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,720 did for me, it was just a more abundant kind of love and it was 187 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,600 almost easier to accept. So I'm just saying all of that 188 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:40,840 because it is taught me so much. It's a part of who I am today 189 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:46,480 and and helped me that much more with my relationship with Christ 190 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,520 and forgiveness and truly understanding the depths of that 191 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,840 because I've had to do it Earth side with my Father. 192 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,640 You know what I mean, Truly, truly forgive him and, and let 193 00:10:55,640 --> 00:11:01,080 it go and not hold on to it or harbor it and, and really lean 194 00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,640 into God's word about what it says for forgiveness towards 195 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:07,600 others. And it is very serious what he 196 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,320 says and, and how we're supposed to love and forgive others. 197 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:16,560 And so when I did that with my dad, wow, it's like the gates 198 00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:20,280 flooded open for me allowing Christ in my life because I 199 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,640 remember at one point in time, it's like God told me he was 200 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:28,480 like, how, how long do you want to hold on to this? 201 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,000 Because it's going to hinder your relationship with me going 202 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,280 forward. And so, and that meant 203 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:37,600 everything to me. I didn't, I didn't want to feel 204 00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:40,120 separated from him. I didn't want to feel from the 205 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,320 Lord. I didn't want to feel separated 206 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,040 from the Lord. So I had to just completely 207 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,360 release that and, and let it go and, and be able to grow with 208 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:52,680 him and not hold on to something, hold on to not being 209 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,160 able to forgive somebody on this earth. 210 00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,840 And especially it was my dad, really. 211 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:59,880 Yeah, when you were just talking about that, it made me think I 212 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,760 heard this more recently and it was like, it's easy being a 213 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,520 servant for Christ, right? Like I love to serve, I love to 214 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,920 do things in Jesus name for his Kingdom, all this stuff. 215 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,520 But like I'm truly having to learn how to be a daughter to 216 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:15,600 Christ. Like I don't know how to 217 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,800 necessarily do that because even with my mom, like you can talk 218 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:23,320 to her today and she's like Alexis is always acted like my 219 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,400 mom. Like, you know, I've always been 220 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,800 the mother in those relationships and everything 221 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,960 else. So like I truly never had a 222 00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,560 grasp of what it was like to be a daughter, to be a kid. 223 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:37,640 I was always in those adult more situations or these mature 224 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,600 situations that necessarily I shouldn't have been in, but that 225 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,800 was the cards that I was dealt in life. 226 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:45,480 And like so I just had to mature a lot faster. 227 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:50,840 So I did have to learn what it was like to be loved by Christ 228 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,000 in a daughter way. Like not just what can you do 229 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,680 for His Kingdom, just His unconditional love. 230 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,600 No matter what I do, no matter how many ministries I'm a part 231 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,960 of, He doesn't care about any of that because it's not about my 232 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,000 works. It's just about me knowing Him 233 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,640 and loving Him and following Him. 234 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,680 And see that you bring up a good point about the works. 235 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:18,680 And when I struggled growing up in, in having an absent father, 236 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:22,440 I try to do stuff to gain that love for mothers. 237 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,520 And so when you do that and and you try to, you're caring that 238 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,000 you're not good enough. You're caring. 239 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,400 Why won't they love me? What do I have to do to gain 240 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:34,560 that love? And that's the difference 241 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:37,760 between the relationship with Christ is you didn't have to do 242 00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,360 anything. He already did it because he 243 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,640 loves you. He went and died on that cross 244 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,560 without you asking him to. He loves you that much. 245 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:51,400 And so that was the difference was I had to kind of change my 246 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:55,360 mind that it's not about what I do in, in trying to gain his 247 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,400 love and trying to gain respect from others. 248 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,880 It's there. He laid his life down already. 249 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,560 It's done. You just have to accept that 250 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,160 love. And that was hard for me to 251 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,960 understand until I got older. And even now I'm still learning 252 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,640 it. Learning to be a daughter of 253 00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,200 Christ is so different than trying to or have that feeling 254 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:17,440 that you have to gain that love and do in the works. 255 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,280 That is what matters, and it's not. 256 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,640 Yeah, With like forgiveness, like you were talking about a 257 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:25,720 big thing about forgiveness. I didn't realize that I hadn't 258 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:29,360 even really needed to forgive because like my dad, they said 259 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,920 that, you know, or I know him, like don't think that I don't 260 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:33,680 know him or something the way that I said they said. 261 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,760 But like I was like supposedly really close with him when I was 262 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,840 like a toddler. But then after that, I didn't 263 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,440 know anything. Like we weren't around each 264 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:43,760 other. We didn't do anything. 265 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,720 Like I would just see him around, like stuff like that. 266 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,760 But like it was so non existent to me that I wouldn't even know 267 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,400 that that was a hurt. I didn't even know like what it 268 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,000 was like to have a father in that sense. 269 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:59,400 So like I was like, I'm fine. Like I don't need, like I'm not 270 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,760 missing out on anything because I never knew of anything, you 271 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:04,080 know? You didn't know the difference. 272 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,440 Yeah, I didn't know the difference. 273 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,760 So then when you hear about Dexter's childhood, you know, 274 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,200 you getting to grow up with a father and seeing that and 275 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,280 having that, you know, foundation Bill, I'm like, Oh, I 276 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:17,880 did miss out, you know, like, but then, you know, I have a 277 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,160 stepdad that stepped in when I was in middle school and he 278 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:23,040 adopted me. And so that was where my 279 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,840 Father's Day started. That's where I was in my Papa. 280 00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,720 Like don't even let me go past him. 281 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:31,160 Like he stepped in when I was a child, like, and he raised me 282 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,880 too. But you know, actually having 283 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,760 that biological father like that was non existent. 284 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,680 So I wasn't, I didn't know like being raised by your 285 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,480 grandparents, you don't, you don't even think differently 286 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:42,960 until you're older and know that that comes to life. 287 00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,160 Right, right. You're just just kind of go in 288 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,880 with the flow and you think what? 289 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,840 This is your life. Is normal, yeah. 290 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:50,320 Right. Then you look back and you're 291 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,880 like, wait. Nothing is out my life. 292 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,720 And I don't even think like, nobody's life's normal. 293 00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:59,640 Like even Dexter, you know, having like both your parents at 294 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:02,360 home growing up in church, like you still had things go on in 295 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,840 your family and stuff that, you know, like we're not normal. 296 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,360 Yeah. I want to touch on that because 297 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:11,120 we talked about that yesterday with some people in his family 298 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:14,680 and we touched on that. And I'm sitting here waiting to 299 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,000 hear something so normal from the person I'm talking to. 300 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:21,960 And I'm she's talking and I'm like, wait, none of this is 301 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:23,840 normal. And I would have thought your 302 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,680 family was totally normal. But everyone has their own story 303 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,200 and their own way that they came to know Christ. 304 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,640 No matter how perfect their family looked, it might not have 305 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:38,040 been that way. And so even with Dexter having 306 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:42,160 as good of a relationship as he has with his father, guess what? 307 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:44,560 There were still times growing up that there had to be 308 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:47,520 forgiveness and there were still times growing up that there was 309 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,840 hurt and learning. And so, yeah, I kind of want to 310 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,520 touch on that because even though you did seemingly on the 311 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,040 outside have like this perfect family, I'm sure there were 312 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,400 things that y'all went through that you had to learn 313 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:05,359 forgiveness and, and learn, you know, just just kind of learning 314 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,160 life with your family. Yeah. 315 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:11,520 I mean, it's just like anything, you know, people look from the 316 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,599 outside in and they think, well, there's a father, there's a 317 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,000 mother, there's kids, there's a house. 318 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,240 They should be happy, right? Everything should go smoothly. 319 00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:27,079 And that's not always the case. I mean, we're still an imperfect 320 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,680 people. We're still human, you know, we 321 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:34,080 still battle with sin and fleshly desires. 322 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:38,280 And, you know, so my father wasn't a perfect human by any 323 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:42,520 means. I mean, you know, there were 324 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,280 there were times where, you know, he was really, really hard 325 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:51,920 on me and my sister, you know, and, and. 326 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,040 Y'all thought that he was the worst ever probably at that 327 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:58,320 time. Yeah, yeah. 328 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,480 And, you know, there were, I mean, there were times where I 329 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,240 felt like he could have been more comforting and could have 330 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:10,200 been more supportive in things that I was doing or things that 331 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,080 I wanted to do, but he wanted me to do something else, you know, 332 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,440 and, and you know, it's, it's again, it's we're all imperfect, 333 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,520 humane. So even though he was present, 334 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,640 he was there, I had a relationship with him. 335 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:25,240 It's it's not all rainbows and butterflies. 336 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,800 I feel like when you were saying that, I was like, Abby needs to 337 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,840 listen to that back because you know, Sutton Joe don't want to 338 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:35,320 ride them horses. And so you keep no, but really 339 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:39,360 like with that, you know, our parents do want so much for us 340 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:42,320 and like they have this perfect plan for our lives and they want 341 00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,400 to push us to that. But like, sometimes it is hard 342 00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:47,160 because it's like they want it so bad. 343 00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,880 And you're your own person to like God has a whole plan for 344 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,600 your life that your parents don't understand, you know, so 345 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,560 they're having to navigate that. And with you being the oldest, 346 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,080 like you're a you're a learning experience. 347 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,600 They're learning as they go. You know, that's Mallory came 348 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,600 around. It was like, OK, you know, it's 349 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,480 a little bit better. That's why I'm trying to hold on 350 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,960 to that verse, you know, raise up a child in the way that they 351 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:15,880 should go, they should go, not the way I want them to go. 352 00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,560 Yeah, but it is so hard. And so, you know, we didn't 353 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:24,960 really have that like a father figure pushing us, I guess, to 354 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:32,000 pursue something that they loved or pursue a sport or pursue a 355 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,000 ministry, just anything, I mean, you name it. 356 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:39,320 So we didn't really have that aspect of somebody pushing us. 357 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:46,560 But I think I think it almost in in maybe it helped me to have to 358 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,640 push myself to and in those certain things. 359 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:52,880 I don't know how you feel about that, but you know, we didn't 360 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,360 have somebody that or I don't remember having somebody that I 361 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:59,760 felt like get off of my back. Like, you know, this isn't what 362 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:04,160 I want to do. I almost desired that you know 363 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,560 what I mean. I feel like for me more so like 364 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,880 my family wasn't pushing me in a certain direction because like 365 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:16,080 to an extent they had like guilt of the life that I was living, 366 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,680 like without my parents being in the picture and stuff. 367 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,440 So it was kind of more of a free for all. 368 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,840 Like if I wanted to do something like they were going to back it 369 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,280 100%. It was never like, hey, you need 370 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,160 to do this instead or you need to do this. 371 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,520 Like, and now even like when I talk to my mom about that, like 372 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:34,640 that's a big thing. And parents, especially when 373 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,280 they're, they have an addiction or whatever and they've broke 374 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,560 that, but it's like they start parenting out of guilt. 375 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:44,840 Like I, I was a crappy mom and I couldn't, you know, surrender 376 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,600 this stuff and I couldn't do this. 377 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:49,240 And they beat their self up and they're like here, here, here, 378 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,480 like whatever you need. And so like for me growing up, 379 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,160 that's what my life was. It was like, hey, we just want 380 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,600 you to be happy. Like you've went through a lot 381 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,520 and you don't have these people present and whatever. 382 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,760 So just, we just want to support you in any way possible. 383 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,920 But that that lack of almost discipline, like my parent, like 384 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,080 my dad that stepped in and adopted me, he was strict, but 385 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,120 like at the same time, he don't know what to do. 386 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:17,600 Like he didn't have kids of his own. 387 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,120 So he's like, oh, you're at Abby's. 388 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,760 OK, that's fine. And then like I come. 389 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,440 Over there for five days. Five days straight, like, no, 390 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:30,160 you need to come home. But I'm like, you know, stuff 391 00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,840 like that, that's what's so different is like I didn't have 392 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,200 that big structure area of people pushing me. 393 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:41,520 Yeah, yeah, same. And I think now, you know, you 394 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:45,680 talk about kind of that guilt or things that parents carry. 395 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:50,960 For me, now that I'm a parent, I feel like I'm doing the opposite 396 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,120 because I didn't have any structure. 397 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,080 I am like almost overdoing the structure in Sutton's life. 398 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,440 And it's something that I'm trying to be a little bit more 399 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,640 lenient on. But that's why I lean on Dexter 400 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:07,240 so much because he did have such a good role model or role models 401 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:09,520 in his life. And so we're trying to work 402 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,400 together through that. But it's just really cool to 403 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:16,600 see, you know, how different we were raised, you know, how 404 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,280 similar our stories are, especially with our fathers, and 405 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,200 then how different his story is. But all learning to work 406 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,120 together to glorify Christ at the end of the day, to me, that 407 00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:29,120 is like the coolest thing. And it's, it's so awesome to be 408 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:32,920 able to portray that to others. And so I'm excited and and hope 409 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,800 this episode really touches somebody. 410 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,040 Yeah. With y'all, I was thinking like 411 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,000 it probably is like hard for y'all to compromise too because 412 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,480 like you hell, like have this not hard to compromise. 413 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,600 Like you are doing a great job. But I'm saying like, you know, 414 00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,120 you have a different perspective of parenting because of what you 415 00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:51,920 went through and then you have a different perspective. 416 00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,960 So like y'all are trying to find common ground of how do we raise 417 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,840 our daughter? And like you will have like 418 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:00,000 this, this, this and this. And he's probably like, well, 419 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,520 let's let's back up a little bit. 420 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:04,240 You know, like, let her be her own person somewhat because you 421 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:05,840 had someone trying to push you in that. 422 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:10,040 So it's probably like, how does it look like now being parents, 423 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,160 actually having that like family dynamic? 424 00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:14,480 What does that look like to y'all? 425 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,760 Yeah. I'll let Dexter touch on that, 426 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,720 especially from the Father's standpoint. 427 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,840 Yeah, I mean, I definitely see now that I am a father that, you 428 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:29,400 know, my dad played in a very, very important role in my life 429 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,680 growing up. And. 430 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,600 And I don't think I realized his influence until I became a 431 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:40,240 father. And it's funny, you know, we 432 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,160 always say that we turn into our parents. 433 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:45,480 And I always said, you know, there were certain things that 434 00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:50,720 he did as a father that I was not going to do as a father. 435 00:23:51,360 --> 00:23:55,520 And behold, you know, I fall right into the rut and I'm doing 436 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,040 some of the things, you know, so. 437 00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:00,320 But it's because those things worked. 438 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:06,560 Those things influenced me. And you know, I just think that 439 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:10,840 that you're the most looked up to person in the household as 440 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,720 the father, especially from your kids. 441 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:18,680 You're the disciplinary. How you act is how they want to 442 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:23,800 act when, when you know, they grow up, you know, they, they 443 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,360 want to be like that, right? And not to take away from moms, 444 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,440 Moms are very influential as well, where they're more 445 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,240 comforting and caring and more affectionate parent. 446 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:38,520 But you know, and I'll, I'll just say like, yeah, there are 447 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:43,800 certain things that, you know, I I want to let Sutton learn and I 448 00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:47,960 want her to make her own mistakes and figure out who she 449 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,880 wants to be. And, and I definitely, you know, 450 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,040 you talk about the horses. I don't want to guide her or 451 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,400 like. Always come back at me like 452 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:57,400 this. You know. 453 00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,000 The horses. I don't want to to overdo 454 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,640 something, especially at a young age. 455 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,120 Like we let her play soccer this year. 456 00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:06,560 I mean, she's 2 year old playing soccer, right? 457 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,720 And like the first, I don't know, practice or games like I'm 458 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,800 out there running around like, you know, trying to raise my 459 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,640 voice and like expecting her to like know what to do. 460 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:20,640 And then I, you know, I had like this revelation, almost like, 461 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:25,680 listen, it's just an activity for her to get out there and run 462 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,760 around and socialize and just have fun. 463 00:25:29,120 --> 00:25:32,280 And so like the rest of the season, I just like sat back and 464 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,320 just watched and clapped and I'm, you know, it wasn't that 465 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,560 crazy parent trying to anyway harness A2 year old. 466 00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,200 While we're while we're there like I just have got. 467 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:46,560 To be a pro soccer player at. Like, I'm just, I'm just wanting 468 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:51,160 her to just, you know, be active, have fun and and, you 469 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,400 know, she'll figure out her specific avenues later in life, 470 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,560 but I just want her to have experiences, make mistakes, 471 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,360 learn for herself and just. Enjoy life well I. 472 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:05,800 Was kind of thinking like that's the same thing that God's doing, 473 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:09,720 like he's trying to tell us all all this stuff, like what to do, 474 00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,400 how to do it. But until we grow up in his word 475 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,600 and we spend more time with him and learn like we're it just 476 00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,200 sounds like gibberish, like you're screaming at shutting 477 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:20,800 Joe. She's like, what are you talking 478 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:23,040 about? You know, like she's not, she's 479 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:24,440 just running, she's just having time. 480 00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,640 But the longer that you practice with her and coach her through 481 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,440 and explain stuff, she'll then hear what you're saying on the 482 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,440 sidelines, you know, so that's the same thing. 483 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,080 Like the more that we spend with God, the more that we walk with 484 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,640 him. We'll Start learning what he's 485 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:40,120 asking of us. Yeah. 486 00:26:40,120 --> 00:26:42,280 So that's just really important. That's why I think it is so 487 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:46,520 important from a father standpoint to be a leader of 488 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,040 your household. And like a father's role in a 489 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,200 family's life is so important to me. 490 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,800 I see that now. I see that now, you know, with 491 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,800 Dexter and Sutton and then from his family how important it 492 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,840 really is. I didn't understand that when I 493 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:05,160 was younger because I didn't have it. 494 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,760 Like you're saying. We were blind to it. 495 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:08,120 We didn't know the difference, right? 496 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:13,320 But now, gosh, I just hope that dads out there hear this and 497 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:18,080 really grasp like how important it is to be that leader for your 498 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,960 household and be that testimony for your family. 499 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:26,320 And it's like, I see things. It's like, you know, there's 500 00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:31,160 only really one or there's only really certain people that you 501 00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,920 can really take to heaven with you. 502 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:35,800 And it's like your children. And then I read something the 503 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:36,880 other day. It's so good. 504 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:39,960 It says your home is your first ministry and the way you treat 505 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,600 your family is your loudest testimony. 506 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,880 And that is so good, not just from a father standpoint, just 507 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:52,120 from both perspectives, a mom and a dad, but it really is your 508 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:54,640 loudest testimony. It is what's going to be carried 509 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,120 throughout your generation, throughout your family. 510 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:02,400 If you're trying to break generational curses, that is 511 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,600 going to your next generation, your children, you, how you live 512 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,400 your life, Your testimony inside of your home, not outside, not 513 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,560 your ministry, not how others perceive you inside of your home 514 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:16,880 is the most important thing. And so I just think I think dads 515 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,720 play a huge, huge vital role in their family's life. 516 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,120 And and given that example, you know, from a father's 517 00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:28,360 perspective, I read my word and see the word Father so much 518 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,280 throughout the Bible. And it is so important, you 519 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:34,920 know, to be able to look to our heavenly Father and have that 520 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,720 good example. Earth side as well. 521 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:39,000 Yeah. Well, you were kind of like 522 00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,200 pushing towards the father's right there. 523 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,640 But I want to like, say, the women, the mothers, like this is 524 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:49,120 a prime example of why, like you should be searching for a godly 525 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:52,160 man. Like I posted that video on 526 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,800 TikTok this week and women are just pouring in the comments 527 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:58,200 about being in an unequally yoked marriage and how hard it 528 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,320 is and raising these kids and feeling like they're the 529 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,520 spiritual leader when we're not called to be the spiritual 530 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,520 leader. We have to step in that role for 531 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,440 our family when the husband isn't there. 532 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,720 But like, This is why it's so important not to settle. 533 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:14,920 This is why you need to date for marriage and really check those 534 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,880 boxes. Just because you been together 535 00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,960 years doesn't mean just oh we're expected to get married. 536 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:23,760 Like if there's red flags, if he's not leading you 537 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:28,560 spiritually, if he's not, I'm so sorry, but leave like before 538 00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:32,200 you're married, leave because once you're married, you're 1 539 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:35,440 flesh. Like God's not ever going to say 540 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,760 leave him. You know, like unless it's like 541 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,920 abuse or something like that, adultery, stuff like that. 542 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,480 But it's not going to ever be God. 543 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,320 He's just unequally yoked. This is hard. 544 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,240 No, like you're going to be called to lead your husband to 545 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,800 Christ and be that leader for your family. 546 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,560 So even though we are talking about dads, I would say like 547 00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,960 moms like do. Or just women in general. 548 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,160 Women you know, like find that man that's going to lead you 549 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:03,320 spiritually. They're just so important push 550 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:08,240 you to Christ because that is literally what a husbands that's 551 00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,720 his number one priority before you know after his relationship 552 00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:13,320 with Christ. Yeah, I will say that was 553 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,280 probably my number one mistake growing up was not having that 554 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,480 good example. What did it lead me into 555 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,600 relationships that were not Christ centered because I didn't 556 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:27,160 know the difference. And it is a huge difference, 557 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,520 especially when you're considering, you know, starting 558 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:33,920 a family, growing through life with somebody, you know, if 559 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,840 you're unequally yoked, now you've got to do life with that 560 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:38,680 person. And it is a totally different 561 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,600 journey than God would have for you, right? 562 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,240 And so being Christ centered first with yourself and then 563 00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:48,920 finding that in somebody else, I really struggled with that, you 564 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,520 know, choosing a man that had God first in his life, that was 565 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,440 not appeasing to me. I mean, just plain and simple, 566 00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,200 it wasn't the first thing I looked for. 567 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:01,400 I was just more fleshly desiring certain aspects. 568 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,600 And so it will lead you down the wrong Rd. 569 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,680 It will not lead you where God is called your life and, and 570 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:12,440 lead you into just joy and happiness and peace. 571 00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:16,840 So it is super, super important to have that first in your life, 572 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,560 that relationship with the Lord and then him leading you, you 573 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,080 know, to your husband and praying over that. 574 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,240 It makes a huge difference. Yeah, it does. 575 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:29,320 Yeah, I'll say, you know, I've, I've seen and I I had friends 576 00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,800 growing up that that their dads weren't present or they grew up 577 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,440 with stepdads and they were very defiant to their stepdads. 578 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:40,440 But you know, if you're, if you're a young man, if you're a 579 00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:45,080 dad and you're listening to this, just understand that your 580 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:51,240 influence now affects your kids, your, their kids, their kids. 581 00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:55,320 It's generational. And if you didn't grow up with a 582 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,040 dad, right, you have to break a mold. 583 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:03,920 You have to understand that you, it's going to take a lot of work 584 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,880 because you didn't have the example, you know, and, and I 585 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,480 can sit here and say I had this great example and I grew up with 586 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,120 a dad and he was always present. He never hit my mom. 587 00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,080 He never yelled at my mom. All that's true. 588 00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:24,440 But I've seen guys that have complained and hated their dad 589 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,080 and because he wasn't there growing up and he, you know, 590 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,080 they, they, they carry this, this hate in their heart. 591 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:38,160 And now they have families and it's like they they haven't done 592 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:43,160 anything to change from where their dad was and they're 593 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:47,240 leading their family and their kids are watching what they're 594 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,760 doing. And you got to break the mold 595 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:55,240 like it. It is so, so important that you 596 00:32:55,240 --> 00:33:00,120 know if you want your kids to succeed and have a relationship 597 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:05,640 with the Lord and lead others to Christ, who are they watching to 598 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,080 do that? It's you. 599 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:11,040 You're their biggest example. You're their biggest role model. 600 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:20,280 So it is vitally important for men and especially today to be 601 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:27,520 role models, to be present and lead your family how the Bible 602 00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:30,040 says to lead it and. I mean, we're speaking to 603 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,160 ourselves and this is a daily thing we have to work on a. 100% 604 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:38,040 I mean, it doesn't, you know, I don't, I don't succeed every 605 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:42,240 single day as a dad, you know, I fall short as a husband, you 606 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:47,880 know, and, and but I'm trying, you know, I'm, I'm constantly 607 00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:52,600 trying to grow. And, you know, a lot, a lot of 608 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:56,760 times that just makes all the difference, you know, put your 609 00:33:56,760 --> 00:34:00,440 phone down, be there for your kids. 610 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:05,840 Don't just ignore them. Don't just let them see you, you 611 00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,360 know, buried in your phone. And then when you get off your 612 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:13,600 phone, all you want to do is do something you want to do, do 613 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:15,280 something with your kids, be present. 614 00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:19,080 Take them something. Yeah, just, I mean it, you know, 615 00:34:19,159 --> 00:34:23,120 even 10 minutes. I mean, you would it it, you 616 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,679 know, they have very short attention spans that the chances 617 00:34:25,679 --> 00:34:28,159 are they're going to get fixated on something else that they 618 00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:31,960 don't want you involved in. But being there for just those 619 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,960 few minutes and allowing them to just have fun with you, make a 620 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:42,639 memory with you, you know that's going to be what they carry into 621 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:47,120 their family and what they, you know, take down the line. 622 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:52,080 I love that especially, you know, with Sutton Joe, like she 623 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:55,360 just you can just see that y'all are intentional with y'all's 624 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,760 time with her like and she does change like from one thing to 625 00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:03,920 another, but just her being able to, you know, pray and she wants 626 00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,400 to spend time with the Lord and talk about him and stuff like 627 00:35:06,400 --> 00:35:07,720 that. Like you can see that y'all are 628 00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:11,000 pouring that into her and that is just going to continue on. 629 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:15,880 But as we begin to close this, I mean, I haven't really gave like 630 00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:20,040 a whole lot of like lead way of maybe what y'all wanted to talk 631 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:21,760 about. So is there anything that y'all 632 00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,760 specifically did want to say on this episode before we close? 633 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,520 I mean, I think I just said. It that I figured that was your 634 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,320 like thing, but I was like just in case. 635 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,640 That was my plug. I mean, you know, this world is, 636 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:42,960 is this full of evil, right? And, and I just see there's more 637 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:48,960 and more broken families. And it all starts with, you 638 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:54,520 know, the husband, the dad. And, you know, if you're in AI 639 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,240 don't remember the statistic. I don't remember the numbers. 640 00:35:57,240 --> 00:36:00,200 But you know, we were reading a devotional the other morning and 641 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,680 it just said that marriage is going to be hard. 642 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:09,040 And you can't just bow out. You can't just vote for divorce 643 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:14,000 and just immediately go to that solution just because you think 644 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:19,160 it's the easy way out. No, do the hard work like it's, 645 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,920 it's tough. It's the hardest thing that 646 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,880 you're going to try to keep together in your life. 647 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,120 Whether you think you just absolutely love her at the 648 00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:30,480 beginning and everything is great and you don't have 649 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,760 anything go wrong, things are going to go wrong. 650 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:35,200 This is this is an imperfect world. 651 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,840 You've got to step up and you've got to pull your family through 652 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,800 the hard things that are going to come. 653 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:47,120 And that's what's going to influence your kids and that's 654 00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:50,440 what's going to make your wife understand that. 655 00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,720 Wow, he is who he says he is. He's a leader. 656 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:59,160 He's not bowing and succumbing to the world and you know, 657 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:04,400 resort resorting to substances and self medication and all of 658 00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,000 these things just because we're going through a really tough 659 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,640 time like. Kids are so smart, you know they 660 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:14,640 are watching you so closely, especially the older they get. 661 00:37:15,400 --> 00:37:22,120 They will see OK my my dad reads his Bible and knows the Lord 662 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:26,040 takes us to church but his walk looks very different. 663 00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:31,800 He's cusses, he's does these things, he is out drinking. 664 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,200 But that's not what the Bible says. 665 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:37,040 And they pick up on that kind of stuff and they are a lot smarter 666 00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:40,040 than we think. And it can be very confusing to 667 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,680 them. And so I think that's so 668 00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,360 important. What he's saying is walking the 669 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,960 walk, it's going to be the hardest thing you ever do. 670 00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,400 But to see that fruition, like at the end of your life when you 671 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,880 can and you know, like the Lord's going to say, well done, 672 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,800 my good and faithful servant. And you know that you've given 673 00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:59,080 it your all. And you see your family line, 674 00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:01,280 just like we were talking about the new Duck Dynasty coming out, 675 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,760 like seeing that whole family now, it's huge and it's growing 676 00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,480 and the grandkids and they're all, you know, followers of 677 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,440 Christ and it's just generation and generation. 678 00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:15,760 I can't imagine, especially Phil and Kate, like how that feels to 679 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,920 have that. It is so important because he 680 00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,720 truly walked to the walk and now look at what it's done 681 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:25,640 throughout his whole family. I mean Phil, like, I mean the 682 00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,520 name of one of his books is unashamed. 683 00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:31,080 He was unashamed to share the gospel. 684 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,600 His whole family knew that. His family, his friends, 685 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:38,200 everybody that he knew that that came into contact with him, 686 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:42,000 they, they felt his influence. Yeah. 687 00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:47,600 And look at Blinds generations of his family now. 688 00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:51,880 Well, even like Willie, like I read his book Gospel and like 689 00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,880 just going off of that too. Like he's telling you like how 690 00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:56,640 simple it is to spread the gospel. 691 00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:01,400 Like just because he saw his dad unashamed, like telling 692 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,960 everybody like anything and everything about Christ and what 693 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,840 he did. And then Willie did the same 694 00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:07,240 thing. Like he's like, oh, well, here's 695 00:39:07,240 --> 00:39:09,120 what I do. So let me teach you how to do 696 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:10,920 that. And one of the biggest things 697 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:15,520 was like that he made it, no one cares until they know you care. 698 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,400 Basically, it's like he would just start a conversation and 699 00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:23,080 then that would grow into it. And so just that like Phil broke 700 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,800 that generational curse of his family and now all of these 701 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,880 people, all the fruit that have come from this. 702 00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,600 Right. Yeah, it is great example. 703 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:31,240 What a great example of my father. 704 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:34,360 Trust in peace. That sweet man I know never had 705 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,880 him, but he was a good man. Yeah, yes, I know. 706 00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,360 And it makes a huge difference in what it did with his family. 707 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,640 So you see the fruition. I think millions of people 708 00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,640 around the world have seen the fruition of it. 709 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:50,120 Yeah, absolutely. Kind of just sums up what we 710 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:53,040 were talking about and how important that fatherly figure 711 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:57,280 role is and how important it is for the father of the household 712 00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:01,400 to be so grounded in the Lord, in the in, in his word. 713 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,440 Yep. All right well, I think we're 714 00:40:03,440 --> 00:40:05,480 going to end it there. I think this was awesome. 715 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,000 I think this was really good and just I hope that it impacted so 716 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,680 many people's lives that will hear this and they take it into 717 00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,120 their family and they just want to go closer with Christ. 718 00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:18,240 Like that's what that's what the main goal of this whole podcast 719 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:21,480 is just trying to help people navigate and push them to 720 00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:23,800 Christ. So all right, guys. 721 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,640 Well, we hope you enjoyed it. We'll see you next week. 722 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:29,080 Stay tuned, stay blessed and we'll see you guys later. 723 00:40:29,720 --> 00:40:30,080 Bye.