1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,240 What's up guys? My name is Alexis Brown, your 2 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,600 host of praises and Applaud, and I am so excited to have. 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,440 Chloe and Sean with us today. They are newly married and some 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:21,000 of my festies. So we are going to start out in 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,640 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 6 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,400 Lord, Heavenly Father, thank you for today. 7 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:29,960 Thank you for all your many blessings. 8 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:31,880 Dear God, thank you for Sean and Chloe. 9 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:35,440 Thank you for sending me them and having their friendship for 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,720 as something that I can count on that I aspire to be a friend 11 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,880 like to others. Lord, I just pray that you speak 12 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,120 to us and through us and let this podcast glorify you. 13 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,560 In Jesus name I pray. Amen. 14 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,440 Amen. Let's get it. 15 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,920 All right, Sean, so if you want to tell us a little bit about 16 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,280 yourself and a little bit about your childhood and just growing 17 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:54,400 up and stuff. Yeah, So I'm Sean Gaston. 18 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,520 I'm the high school director at our church, Southside. 19 00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:00,880 And yeah, I'm the youngest of my family, so it's my parents and I 20 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,400 have two siblings, two older sisters. 21 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,720 So we moved to Georgia in 2005, so I was three years old and we 22 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,920 got plugged into Southside. My childhood definitely laid the 23 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,280 foundation of my faith now and even in my in my teenage years. 24 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,760 So I'll say to the young age like four or five when I 25 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,680 remember like saying the prayer with my dad and even getting 26 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,280 baptized at Southside. But so all this like head 27 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,560 knowledge, the stuff I knew about God would eventually come 28 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,040 into play when I truly, you know, gave my life over to 29 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,880 Christ and rededicated my life to Christ. 30 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,720 You know what, I actually got a text from somebody today and 31 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,840 they were like, if you ever need a topic to talk about would be 32 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,880 like knowing Christ and having an intimate relationship with 33 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,240 him. And when you just said that, I'm 34 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,520 like, Oh my gosh, that's literally what she was talking 35 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,480 about. Like, you can know the Bible, 36 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,440 you can know all this stuff, like about what you've learned 37 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:51,280 and whatever, but until you have an intimate relationship, like 38 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,440 you really don't know. Sure. 39 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,600 Yeah. I mean, like you, I think, yeah, 40 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,640 the best way is like knowing about God versus knowing God, 41 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,720 you know? So like you can know a lot about 42 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,360 an athlete that has no idea. Who you are? 43 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,800 Yep. Or a celebrity. 44 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,400 But knowing God is what really knowing about God's never gonna 45 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:08,960 change you. But when you come in contact 46 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,800 with God, that's when that's when you're transformed. 47 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:11,680 So. That's good. 48 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,880 Yes, Chloe, tell us about you, girl. 49 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:22,520 So I'm Chloe Gaskin now we just got married as of today I guess 50 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:24,640 like 3 and a 2 1/2 weeks. Ago, yeah. 51 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,160 Yeah, I grew up in a great home, not necessarily like a Christ 52 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,400 centered home. Church wasn't like a super 53 00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,040 important thing for us, but that didn't make it a bad home. 54 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,800 My grandma took me to a Presbyterian Church when I was 55 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,520 younger. I really saw it was more as like 56 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:43,000 a social thing, just kind of went to hang out with my my 57 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:46,120 friends and I wasn't really learning about Jesus through the 58 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,520 whole experience. But when I got to middle school, 59 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,640 a lot of my friends were part of FCA, which is Fellowship of 60 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,040 Christian Athletes. At this point I still saw my 61 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,160 faith as kind of like a social thing. 62 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,960 So I went because, you know, my friends were going, but I was 63 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,800 intrigued. And so I started becoming more 64 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,520 and more involved with that. And then I went to FCA event 65 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,680 called Fields of Faith and I actually got saved there, but I 66 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,400 didn't really know like the decision that I had made. 67 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:15,320 I knew that there was like a change in me, but I didn't 68 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:18,880 necessarily know like what do I do now kind of thing. 69 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,680 I knew I needed to stay involved in SCA, surround myself with 70 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,840 godly people and find a church so. 71 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:28,960 Yeah, I feel like that's a very common thing though. 72 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,640 It's like you get saved and it's like I'm saved. 73 00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:32,720 Now what? Right. 74 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,720 But at least you knew even at a young age, you know, like, I 75 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,040 need to continue, I need to come to church, I need to continue to 76 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:41,080 be involved, like all that. So that's awesome. 77 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:44,440 So how exactly I know that you got connected when you were 78 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,520 younger? And Chloe, like, how did you get 79 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,800 the Southside? So I actually got connected to 80 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:54,000 Southside through one of my friends, her name's Aaron. 81 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:56,600 And one night, like, I spent the night at her house. 82 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,080 And you know the drill. Like, if you spend the night on 83 00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:01,840 Saturday night, like, you've got to go to church with us Sunday. 84 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,240 And of course, like, I knew that, like, I was fine. 85 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,400 And she talked very highly of her church. 86 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,360 So I was like, sounds awesome. Like, let's go. 87 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,960 And I was also really longing for, like, a church that I could 88 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,840 go to. So yeah, she brought me to 89 00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,360 Southside, and I really loved the service. 90 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,279 I remember Jim Gray spoke. I remember seeing like so many 91 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,600 friends from school. Like I said, like it was still 92 00:04:22,600 --> 00:04:25,080 like a social thing at this point, but it was awesome 93 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,640 because it was the community that I was needing at the time. 94 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,120 And then Aaron's parents asked if I wanted to go back that 95 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,440 night for small groups and like the answer was just like, so 96 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,120 clear. I was like, yes. 97 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,960 Like it was so fun. It was so fun. 98 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,280 And we get to eat. Yes, period. 99 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,680 I would like to go. So from then on I really started 100 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,840 getting involved in ignition, so that's how I really got plugged. 101 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:52,040 In well, like when I think of I made this comment right after 102 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,240 ignition camp last year, which I've talked about on the podcast 103 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:57,840 of like where that changed my life completely. 104 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,560 Like I met you guys, you know, like I just got plugged in, 105 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,960 right. And when I came to ignition, if 106 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:08,440 I knew that like middle school ministry was like this when I 107 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,960 was in school, I would have loved it, right? 108 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,760 But I never even gave it a chance. 109 00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,040 Like it's, it's whole different environment. 110 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,120 Like it's so awesome for the young, you know, the young kids 111 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,800 and students and everything. Like it's amazing. 112 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:23,560 So once you really find that and you get that groove, like it's 113 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:24,840 nice. And it's amazing. 114 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:27,920 Like, I mean, a middle school camp changed your life. 115 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,880 And I mean, you're 29. Yeah, maybe we should. 116 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,960 Edit that out and I'll add on that because you talked about 117 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,560 community and that was something kept me there was the people I 118 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,880 found. So I kind of hinted at this at 119 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,560 the beginning, but I was saved at a young age. 120 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,880 I was saved at like four or five. 121 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:43,600 And then early middle school is when I really rededicated my 122 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,240 life for me. And middle school was when I 123 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:47,920 really started to see the difference of this person's 124 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,400 living for Christ and this person's not. 125 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,720 And so that was when I found faith in my own. 126 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,360 I went through middle. I went through a lot like early 127 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,840 middle school. I had an unexpected death in my 128 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,080 family and just a ton of anxiety and a bunch of stuff. 129 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,480 I won't go into all that, but I don't know if I'd say the most 130 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,480 attack I've ever been, But that's the that's the at that 131 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,680 point in your life, correct. And, and I didn't even know how 132 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,360 to respond. Now when I'm attacked 133 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,800 spiritually, you know, I've been in the war, if you will, if you 134 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,520 want to use that metaphor for, you know, years. 135 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,040 But at that point, I didn't even know how to respond. 136 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,720 So halfway through high school, I'd finished sophomore year. 137 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,120 And up to that point, Josh Ray had like lied, which was 138 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,160 Southside's high school ministry. 139 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,880 And I've been plugged in. And now it was going to be led 140 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,560 by Robbie Coleman and Tucker Hall. 141 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:31,280 And that was really, they brought like a group of us in 142 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:33,760 and they were like, we want you guys to be the student or like 143 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,360 the servant leadership team, which we still have a student 144 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:37,800 student leadership team. So shout out to them. 145 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,840 But Chloe became part of that team and I was on that team. 146 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:46,880 And November 4th, 2018, we had one of our meetings and they 147 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,080 said they needed people to greet. 148 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,360 So I was kind of voluntold to to greet that night. 149 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,000 And Chloe volunteers to do that. So I don't think anything about 150 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:53,360 it. All right. 151 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,520 Because I wanted. Him so anyway, so we're both 152 00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,280 greeting and we talked some I mean, I definitely felt like 153 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,200 there was like I would say a good chemistry, not in a 154 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,400 romantic way, but like I was like, oh, I mean, she's really 155 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:06,040 cool. I felt like I was like, she 156 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:11,440 don't have me on Snapchat tonight and then and then the 157 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,120 next six months. So we met in November. 158 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,760 We started dating at the end of April, but those six months, 159 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,320 obviously, I think she would have preferred I take the hint a 160 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:23,880 little a little sooner. But she was like such a good 161 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,560 friend. I mean, I'm not sure I've ever 162 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,520 had a better friend than that. And I think that really laid the 163 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:33,120 foundation for our relationship. I was thinking about this more 164 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,120 recently too, like this is completely not impromptu or 165 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:39,040 anything, but you were talking about like how your family moves 166 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,760 here. Y'all got involved in Southside 167 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,440 and all this and just to think how like you got so involved 168 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:48,400 like now you work there, your dad works there, like all this 169 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,920 stuff. You met your wife there. 170 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,680 In the ministry I lead. In the ministry you lead. 171 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,760 And like, I think back about that because like, I had a 172 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,760 friend invite me in 7th grade to come visit Southside for the 173 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,120 first time and I came, I loved it. 174 00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:04,840 You know, whatever I go home and I tell my mom, I'm like, you 175 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,000 need to come check this church out because we were going to 176 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,480 another church in town. Like we were there, but I didn't 177 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,960 feel a part of like, I didn't feel like plugged in, you know, 178 00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:16,960 and it, you do need to shop around because you, you need to 179 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,400 find where you fit in. And so like when we came, like, 180 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,600 we instantly became members. Like I got baptized there, like 181 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,720 all this stuff and like to look like me and my mom both work 182 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,520 there now. Like what if I would have never 183 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,400 went, went somewhere else? Like it's just so crazy how God 184 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:35,360 really just like he's so meticulous. 185 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,400 Is that the right word? Like he plants you in those 186 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,280 spots and stuff. Well, I'd say a few things. 187 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,159 I mean, one, I think both of you guys story shows the power of it 188 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,000 all. All three of our story shows the 189 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,920 power of invite. Yeah, a lot of times it's like 190 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,400 they're not going to say yes even if I do invite them to 191 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,480 church or oh, they're just going to come to church and hear one 192 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,800 message. It's not going to really change. 193 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:56,680 But the power of invite is huge. Y'all started dating pretty 194 00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:00,800 young and like, how did that influence y'all's, you know, 195 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,200 relationship? How did y'all keep God at the 196 00:09:03,200 --> 00:09:05,800 center of that? Because I mean, at a young age, 197 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:08,400 like I'm sure that is hard to navigate and everything else. 198 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,880 So like, what did y'all do? Like what was y'all's scoop 199 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,160 sways? Yeah, so I mean, like literally 200 00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:16,480 the day that I was like, I felt like something was kind of ruin 201 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,200 between us. I was like, like, I feel like he 202 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,600 likes me. I don't know. 203 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:22,960 And so I asked him. I was like, what are we? 204 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,360 What's going on? And. 205 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:26,840 Over Snapchat. Over Snapchat we. 206 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,960 Were 15 and 16, so yes, that was the preferred means. 207 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,360 Yes. And like he was just like, well, 208 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,040 I like you. And I was like, well, I like 209 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,680 you. Like I've been like 2. 210 00:09:36,680 --> 00:09:40,520 But I remember that night, like, you know, I'm kicking, giggling, 211 00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,800 like he likes me. One of our first conversations, 212 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:47,600 Sean was like, OK, so like, what are some guardrails? 213 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:50,160 Like we should put up? And I was like, huh, what do you 214 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,200 mean? Like we're just a thing. 215 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:55,040 We're talking, you know, and I didn't realize at the time, but 216 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:59,000 it was just like specific things to set up so you don't go too 217 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:03,120 far in a relationship. And so we set those up literally 218 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,160 that night. We weren't even like official 219 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,880 yet, but like we knew that we would be together more, maybe 220 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:14,040 alone sometimes like but we set those up that night early in our 221 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,920 relationship so. Yeah. 222 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,160 And I mean, that's not to say we were perfect at them. 223 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,480 I think we're going to go into that some. 224 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:23,400 But like a lot of this, it's easy for us to say, especially 225 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,960 now that you're married. But yeah, your guardrails, I 226 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,520 won't go into that, but that's crucial. 227 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,160 But honestly, I mean, God was, God was huge in our 228 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,960 relationship. Again, one of the biggest things 229 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,200 that our faith did was it drove us to wait. 230 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,040 We weren't perfect. Like there were times we did 231 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,640 things that probably weren't the wisest or, you know, we would go 232 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:43,240 home or whatever and we'd be like, well, we probably 233 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,520 shouldn't have done that tonight, you know what I mean? 234 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,480 We, we did mess up some, but there was always that drive of 235 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,560 like, we're not going to have sex until we get married. 236 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,240 Like she said, guardrails are huge. 237 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,080 I mean, if you're, I don't know, there's this, everybody talks 238 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,560 about waiting in the church, wait for marriage, wait for 239 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,560 marriage away from marriage, but nobody wants to talk about the 240 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:00,880 details. And it's like, especially 241 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:02,840 working in student ministry, I have a passion for this because 242 00:11:02,840 --> 00:11:05,280 it's like, if you're not talking with your students about this, 243 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:06,680 they're talking to somebody about it. 244 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,760 You know, they're talking to TikTok about it or they're 245 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,080 talking to the guy in the locker room about it. 246 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,960 So they're getting their, their sex knowledge from somewhere. 247 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,280 I know it's kind of like awkward to say that, but they're, 248 00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:19,480 they're finding out their ideology and their perspective 249 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,160 on sex from somewhere. And I think we're gonna go into 250 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,280 that some more. But yeah. 251 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,440 And I. Mean like too far isn't 252 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,280 necessarily like having sex. I mean, like there's just, 253 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:34,200 there's so many things that like that are considered too far and 254 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,560 not pleasing to God before marriage, so. 255 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,920 I thought about like New Year's resolutions, and it's really 256 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,520 similar to that. It's very easy to make. 257 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,800 It's very easy to uphold for maybe a month or two months or, 258 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,520 you know, everybody's different, maybe a week. 259 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,000 There's a myth in our culture that's like, oh, I want to try 260 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,840 this person out. You know, I want to test drive. 261 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,640 That's like a common theme. Or I have to have sex with this 262 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,200 person before I get married because what if we're not 263 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,960 compatible and sex is huge. Sex is not a bad thing. 264 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:01,600 A lot of times people are like, oh, let's, you know, avoid that. 265 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,920 God made sex, but he made it for a specific, the confines of a 266 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,200 marriage between a man and a woman. 267 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,720 So I can't understate sex is huge, but at the same time, 268 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,520 that's not everything. So for you to say I have to test 269 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,480 drive this girl or I have to test drive with this guy before 270 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,880 I get married, I don't need a test drive because I'm not 271 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,480 making my vows to her, what she can do for my body. 272 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,600 Yeah, you know, it goes a lot deeper than that. 273 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,280 Yeah, and I think for me, like I think a lot of girls would kind 274 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:30,640 of respond to this is like he's not, you know, as like y'all 275 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,120 aren't physical. Like how did how do you know he 276 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,560 loves you? And I'm a physical touch person. 277 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,040 You know, that's how he you can show me love. 278 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,880 It also showed me like how much respect he has for me because I 279 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:46,440 think even at one point, like I maybe asked him like, oh, like, 280 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,880 why don't you touch my butt or like, you know, whatever. 281 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,520 But he's like, that's not mine to touch. 282 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,160 You know, being young, never been in a relationship, I didn't 283 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:55,760 know. So like, there was a period 284 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:57,920 where I did touch a butt and I'd be convicted. 285 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:00,120 And I would ask, like, my mentor was like, well, is this OK? 286 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,160 And they'd be like, no, you know, so I was not perfect about 287 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:04,960 that. But that was something that, 288 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,680 yeah, eventually I came to the point where I was like, this is 289 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,360 not mine. You know, you shouldn't give, 290 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,520 especially ladies. I mean, this goes both ways, but 291 00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,600 especially ladies. You don't give a boyfriend 292 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,520 something you give a husband. That's not the same thing. 293 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:16,160 Yeah, Right. There's not a vow. 294 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,240 There's not a commitment. Sure, your boyfriend's committed 295 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,840 to you, but he doesn't deserve a husband, a husband benefit. 296 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,280 But I also want to say on that similar thought that if you are 297 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,160 watching this and you have gone too far, like she said earlier, 298 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,800 I mean, you can sounds blunt, but you can do a lot of sin with 299 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,280 your pants on. So I'm not saying you've had 300 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:34,560 sex, but if you have or if you're, if you've done any sin, 301 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,160 there is redemption. You know, there is forgiveness. 302 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,640 So like I said, we, there were moments where, you know, we did 303 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:43,240 stuff that probably wasn't the wisest, but by the grace of God, 304 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,240 I mean, it's ironic because every time we would remind each 305 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,680 other that God forgave us. You know, that's not to be 306 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,560 abused. Like that's not where you're 307 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,960 like, oh, I'll go however far I went with my girl because God 308 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,920 will forgive me. No, like there's guardrails and 309 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,040 there's wisdom because your sin has consequences. 310 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,240 God will forgive you of your sin, but you're still going to 311 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,760 have consequences. Don't think this is like wait, 312 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,160 wait, wait. And if you haven't waited, it's 313 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,840 over for you. Like no, your story is still 314 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,320 like God's still in your story. Yes, you're doomed. 315 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,880 I'm. Just. 316 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,120 And you know, and if you if you read Matthew 28, it's the end of 317 00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,200 Matthew 28. And Jesus, if you're in church, 318 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,640 you've probably heard this verse like come to me all you hear, 319 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:18,240 weary and burden and I'll give you rest. 320 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:21,240 You keep reading. It talks about he's humble and 321 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,400 gentle at heart. And there's a book, it's called 322 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:26,560 Gentle and Lowly, and I've been reading it, but it's all about 323 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,680 how like God's innermost being, the entire heart of God is 324 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,800 approachable and gentle and gracious. 325 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,840 So if you have messed up, like I said, that can be a myriad of 326 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,680 things. Like it's not just having sex. 327 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:41,720 It can be ton of any. Anything that's sexual besides a 328 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:44,080 husband and a wife you know within the confines of marriage. 329 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,880 Anything else you can be forgiven for? 330 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:48,480 So I know you've only been married about 2 1/2 weeks, but 331 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:50,760 that's one of the reasons why I wanted to have you on here is 332 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,440 just because it's fresh and, you know, like, y'all just are 333 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,000 starting this new journey together, you know? 334 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,600 So what are some of the lessons or maybe like, what are some of 335 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,280 the lessons or like what's changed about life? 336 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,560 You know, kind of, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 337 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,320 So we bought our house in late August and I moved in. 338 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,960 So that was about two months ago. 339 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,720 And so it would be like every night Chloe would be hanging out 340 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,240 and it's like, all right, I got to go, you know. 341 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,280 So that's been an awesome part is that she just gets to stay 342 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:19,160 and not not go home. But there's been a lot of 343 00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:22,280 lessons and blessings, you know, good, like great blessings, but 344 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,480 also things to learn. I think one of the coolest 345 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,800 things is that it's not just being around her. 346 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,640 I see a different side, but I see her being in the wife role. 347 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,920 I see different side of her, you know, So I see a lot of 348 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,640 qualities and like honestly beautiful aspects of Chloe that 349 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,000 are brought out now and the wife role. 350 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,840 And I think she's going to talk some about that. 351 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,040 But also as far as a lesson, I think it's just it goes back to 352 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,960 your vows, you know, and I think if you're dating and you're 353 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,840 considering marriage or if you're engaged even more so, you 354 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,560 need to realize how important a vow is. 355 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:57,800 It is a promise before God and all your family and friends and 356 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,840 I mean your spouse that you're going to be with that person and 357 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,760 serve them for the rest of your life. 358 00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,160 So as a husband, especially a husband that I want, you know, I 359 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:08,600 want to be a biblical husband. My goal, my job, not just my 360 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:13,040 goal, my job is to serve and lead and protect and love Chloe. 361 00:16:13,040 --> 00:16:14,840 So it's not about even little things. 362 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,880 So it's not about like what what makes me the most comfortable in 363 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,960 my house, It's not always about what I want. 364 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,960 It's not about if there's, you know, if it's me being 365 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,280 fulfilled, her being fulfilled, I should be wanting her to be 366 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:26,600 fulfilled. And it goes both ways. 367 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,480 That's how when you serve each other, that's a godly marriage. 368 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,960 Yeah, I definitely agree. Like I think for me, like since 369 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:36,400 getting married, like I've really found my love for serving 370 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:42,480 not just Sean, but like I truly like love to host people. 371 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,040 I love to serve people. And before I got married, I 372 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,680 could not cook a thing. Y'all. 373 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:52,600 I got second degree burns on my hand one time because true. 374 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:57,720 I I made like fried Oreos and I didn't know you couldn't mix hot 375 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,480 oil and water explosion happened. 376 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:02,240 I had to go to the. Burns like a mummy hand. 377 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,480 Yeah, like. A mummy hand for me. 378 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,680 It was crazy. Now I truly like look for 379 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:11,200 forward to cooking my meal for us every night like I'm sure he 380 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:14,880 does. And but like I truly like that's 381 00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,400 probably the highlight of my day. 382 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,640 Like I get to come home to Sean and I get to cook and be in like 383 00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:24,000 my domain in my kitchen and my personality is an entertainer 384 00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:27,119 and like my love language is gifts like gift giving. 385 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,760 And so it honestly, it totally checks out. 386 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,040 But I've just really noticed this since getting married, Like 387 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:36,000 that's really blossomed so. And, you know, like, when I 388 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,520 think about it, it's something that you've always dreamed of, 389 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,640 right? Like, yeah. 390 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,760 And that's one of the reasons I wanted to have y'all on because 391 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:46,040 I'm going to be quite frank here. 392 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,960 Y'all are the only people that I've known and I've met and I've 393 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,720 actually become friends with and in my in my immediate circle 394 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,720 that have waited to marriage right. 395 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:01,480 And so and it's just so aspiring I can't even explain. 396 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,080 That there's like, there's an innocence. 397 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,080 It's just so innocent and pure that that's what I'm trying to 398 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,440 say is like, and it's just, I just really wanted to get on 399 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:14,120 here and allow people to see that it is possible, right? 400 00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:17,360 Like it's not impossible. Yes, we live in a world that, 401 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:21,920 you know, pushes you to test drive and you can explore your 402 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:26,040 sexuality and do all this stuff and you that doesn't define you. 403 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,640 But like really, it's possible to wait until marriage to get 404 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,440 engaged to, you know, still push through. 405 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,120 And it's just, it's just awesome. 406 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:38,160 It's just like waking up. I mean, you wake up or working 407 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:42,000 out or going on a diet and stuff like you have to choose to do 408 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,600 that every single day. Like you can't just be like, oh, 409 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,920 well, I'm done. Like whatever like you have has 410 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:49,760 to choose that it has to be disciplined, you know, and if 411 00:18:49,760 --> 00:18:51,560 you. And if you do fall, I would say 412 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,600 this, if you do fall, say like, you know, a couple, that's you 413 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,200 know, if you're a couple and you're trying to get to your 414 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:00,200 marriage, you know, your wedding night pure or whatever. 415 00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:03,720 If you do fall, you know, if you go too far one night or 416 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,760 whatever, don't think that like, well, it's over now. 417 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,160 I might as well do anything, you know, like, no, you get you get 418 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,320 right back up and you keep running. 419 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,000 I wish I should have wrote my Bible Proverbs, you know, the 420 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,640 righteous man falls, but he gets up. 421 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:16,640 I'm paraphrasing, but he gets up every time, you know. 422 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:19,360 So don't don't think one mistake is the end of the end of the 423 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,520 book, you know? Right. 424 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,240 One of the things that I was just thinking of earlier, you 425 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,960 mentioned something like, I wish I could, you know, tell you and 426 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,800 emphasize like how important it is. 427 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,480 And it's just like our parents, right? 428 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,040 They tell us all this stuff that's going to be so beneficial 429 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:35,280 to us and we're like, that Lady don't know nothing. 430 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,000 You know, that man's just crazy. Like, oh, they're just older, 431 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:43,320 like all this stuff. But really just like if you took 432 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:45,480 some of the things that they try to tell you when you were 433 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,760 younger and now you realize, like, man, I should have 434 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,560 listened to them. Man, they were so right about 435 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,040 things like whatever. It's the same exact thing with 436 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,760 this. But you talked about it too. 437 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,480 I mean, you talked about how much our culture pushes that and 438 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,600 there are extremes like look around, like if you look around, 439 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,240 you're going to find extreme sexual agendas. 440 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:05,120 But at the same time, be really careful what you listen to and 441 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,600 what you watch and stuff like that. 442 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,040 I know again, that's something you hear all the time if this is 443 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:13,200 included, but it's not just like nudity in a movie or something. 444 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,320 I would suggest don't watch that because you're feeling your mind 445 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,760 with it, especially as a guy or visual. 446 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,120 But it's little things like be careful when you're scrolling 447 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,600 and. The girl's twerking or like 448 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:24,000 there's a girl in the swimsuit or something. 449 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,520 Like be careful of that because that's going to be put in your 450 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,080 mind. And if you're not careful, 451 00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,040 that's in a snowball and it may be hours later, you may not even 452 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,720 think about it because you're busy at work or whatever. 453 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,280 When you get home and you're alone, be careful. 454 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,400 So just be careful what you're putting in your mind because 455 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,640 that's going to go to your heart, you know? 456 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,640 Yeah, I mean the whole snowball effect in anything in life, you 457 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:44,360 know, you start since start small and it just continues to 458 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:46,240 get bigger. OK, you watch that video one 459 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,640 time now, you liked it. And we know that the algorithm 460 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,840 of social medias follows what you like, and it's gonna show up 461 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,320 more and more. So you allow that one video, you 462 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,800 like it, and now you're seeing it all the time, Then that could 463 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,040 snowball into straight up watching porn now. 464 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,320 And even Kaylan's episode last week or the week before, she 465 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,680 talked about how she started watching porn when she was in 466 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:12,280 3rd raid and how it had all these effects on her life from 467 00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:14,240 that moment. And even though like you're in 468 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:18,320 the middle of that and you don't see what the the greater outcome 469 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,040 is like, it does affect you down the road. 470 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,760 I mean, and if you're not careful, like, because I think a 471 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,640 lot of times it could be as extreme as porn or it could just 472 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,080 be as like less than after somebody on social media or 473 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,560 something. And it's like, oh, well, I'll 474 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,160 never get caught. You know, I'm just looking at 475 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,680 somebody's profile. Like there's there's no way 476 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,560 somebody can like incriminate me on that. 477 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,040 You know, even if they found what I was doing, you may not, 478 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,920 you know, the ACT may get caught, may not get caught, but 479 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,720 the results will, you know, like that's going to change how you 480 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,720 see women. That's going to change the way 481 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,760 you carry yourself, that's going to change your future 482 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,280 relationship. So you know, all, you know, 483 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,640 there's no, there's no such thing as like something you do 484 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,720 that doesn't have any effect. You know that's not such a 485 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,840 thing. Y'all have experience in this? 486 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:00,960 So what is some encouragement, some advice? 487 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:06,360 Like how would you advise someone to wait for marriage? 488 00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:10,600 So to any Christians like you can take my advice with a grain 489 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,680 of salt, but also don't when you get engaged or when you're 490 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,320 planning to get engaged, everyone's like, oh like do a 491 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,840 short engagement. Like everyone's going to tell 492 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,920 you that. And just the little thing like 493 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,600 getting engaged makes it that much harder. 494 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,920 Y'all have a short engagement. I cannot stress that enough. 495 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,040 Like please do it like it will benefit you so much in the long 496 00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,960 run. And and ladies, it is very 497 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,920 possible, more than possible, to plan a wedding in six months. 498 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:42,480 I planned mine probably even more like 4 months and it was 499 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,560 fine. It is just so much better in the 500 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,720 long run to do a short engagement just because that 501 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:53,440 little step of getting engaged affected our thoughts so much 502 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,200 because because in the Christian culture, like it's like, OK, 503 00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,880 like you're going to get married. 504 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:01,760 Like you're going to have sex on your wedding night. 505 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,400 Like that's the big thing. And so it's like all this 506 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:08,240 pressure and like, you know, you have to wait. 507 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:10,680 But it's like, oh, like we're engaged now. 508 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:14,080 Like we're going to be married. We might as well, you know, do 509 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:17,000 this. And no, like, you just you can't 510 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:18,600 mess around with those guardrails. 511 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,640 Like, you can't even come close to them sometimes. 512 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,480 Like it's just it becomes that much harder. 513 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:28,760 I am sure that's very difficult. Like once y'all been together so 514 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:32,720 long you're engaged now and now it's like, I mean we're about to 515 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,840 get married. Yeah, the closer as it comes and 516 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,720 then you have Satan that's trying to push you to go ahead 517 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,120 and send that then go that far and everything else. 518 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:45,720 So you're like, yeah, well, we might as well. 519 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,320 Yeah, we're already married. We're basically like, what are 520 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,600 we going to do, just sign a paper? 521 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,240 We're already bowing to one another, right. 522 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,960 You know, and I think that's probably very hard to navigate 523 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,000 in that time. So. 524 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,440 Yeah. And you know, when you're 525 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,120 talking about that, I thought about the Scripture, First 526 00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,640 Corinthians 79. But if they cannot control 527 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,760 themselves, they should marry. For it is better to marry than 528 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:09,400 to burn with passion. And like the the longer 529 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,040 engagement, you're just going to burn and burn and burn, you 530 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:14,880 know, like for passion and it's going to get harder and harder. 531 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,480 Like go ahead and get married. If you already know you are 532 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,120 like, why continue to wait and push it off? 533 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:23,360 Yeah, and I think that's the purpose in dating. 534 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:26,800 Like if you're not going after marriage, like, then like, 535 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:31,080 what's it for, you know, like, and I think also it's worth 536 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:34,360 mentioning, like Sean will get into this more, but find an 537 00:24:34,360 --> 00:24:37,560 accountability partner. I wish we had done this way 538 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,320 before. We did it even when we were 539 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:40,400 dating. We got it. 540 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:44,200 We got an accountability partner when we were engaged, not to be 541 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:48,480 married, but I would highly, highly recommend doing it way 542 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,640 before that. Honestly, we could have 543 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:54,080 benefited from it, like from the very start. 544 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,840 I mean, absolutely. And just having that though, it 545 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:03,200 just made it a lot easier, but it also made it a lot harder to 546 00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:08,680 send so or go too far. And ours was our accountability 547 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,960 partner was amazing and Sean will get into more into that, 548 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,920 but. Accountability partner is not 549 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,600 somebody that you go to every time you send, OK Daniel Hill 550 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,080 was was our accountability partner. 551 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,080 Which is Kayla's husband. By the way, talking about short 552 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,880 endangements, what they have one day, two days like 3 days or 40? 553 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,440 8 hours. That's right. 554 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,400 No, but so Daniel, Daniel was my small group leader. 555 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,720 He a lot, in a lot of ways, he changed my life. 556 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,760 Obviously it was God, but Daniel really changed my life in a lot 557 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,000 of ways in high school. So he was my accountability 558 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,240 partner. It's not enough for me just to 559 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:41,400 have somebody that's like every time we mess up, I go tell 560 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,640 Daniel that's not an accountability partner. 561 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,080 I guess it is in some sorts, but in my opinion, that's not 562 00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,040 effective. No, you need somebody that's 563 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,800 gonna be proactive and mature enough and prepared enough to 564 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,720 come to you. So like, I'm not even kidding. 565 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,000 Every night. Every night. 566 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,720 Yeah, every single night Daniel will text us how how'd you and 567 00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,080 Chloe do? And if not, yeah, it was like, 568 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:02,520 Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't text you last night. 569 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:03,800 It would literally be the next. Morning. 570 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,600 Next morning. So that twofold. 571 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,880 One, it was helpful because I could be honest about the times 572 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,880 where we messed up. We're good, man. 573 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,480 Or probably did something we shouldn't, you know? 574 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,920 Yeah, but also, I mean, I I start this accountability is 575 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:19,000 only as successful as you are honest. 576 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,960 So again, let's go back to that example I had. 577 00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,480 I could have just, you know, and Daniel says how have you and 578 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:27,840 Chloe been been good, you know, like been good, doing well, 579 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,400 whatever. But I knew this accountability, 580 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,920 it's not going to work unless I'm willing to be honest. 581 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:36,280 And I'll, I mean, I go back to what I said earlier. 582 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:38,680 What is there to lose? My reputation. 583 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:41,640 I mean, what is my reputation worth? 584 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,160 You know, it goes back to pride and insecurity. 585 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,880 Like, it's not like I would rather be honest with somebody 586 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:50,120 and be fully known and fully loved then put up a front just 587 00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,720 to withhold some like way I'm seeing, you know, Yeah. 588 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:56,800 And I think the cool thing about that relationship is like, he 589 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,680 was our accountability partner, but he also kind of grew into 590 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,560 like giving Sean advice. And like he even texted Sean 591 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,480 before, all right, like today's the day. 592 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:08,760 Like he just encouraged me of Oh my gosh, like you've come this 593 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,360 far. And it was just awesome because 594 00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:14,720 he grew from like, holding us accountable to like, isn't it 595 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,360 amazing that like, now you're here? 596 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,680 Enjoy it. Yeah, enjoy it. 597 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:20,560 Here it is. Yeah. 598 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,880 And I would say look for, you know, we talk about go find an 599 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,080 accountability partner, be an accountability partner for 600 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:27,040 somebody. James 516. 601 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,320 Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each 602 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,760 other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person 603 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,720 is powerful and effective, so. That's what I was thinking of. 604 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,560 Not the truth will set you free. Same thing though. 605 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,120 But yeah, yeah. And so you got to bring people 606 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:41,440 into your fight. You know, if you're willing to 607 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,480 fight in the dark, you know, you're wrestling with your sin 608 00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:45,880 on your own. You're not going to get much 609 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,200 victory, if any. You got to bring people into it. 610 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,200 That's good. Yeah, I want to talk about some 611 00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,520 guardrails. So this idea of guardrail, if 612 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,520 you're, you know, if you're not familiar with it, it seems like 613 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,240 was a guardrail like you talked about, you know, when when that 614 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:58,480 word's used, it's like it's a guardrail. 615 00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,960 Well, if you're driving like up or down a mountain on that road, 616 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,720 you'll see these guardrails that are placed. 617 00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:06,480 On our honeymoon, we were on a road and there was no guardrail 618 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,080 and a steep drop off. And I was like, that's my 619 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,440 message on guardrail. But there's, there's, there's 620 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,640 these guardrails as you're driving along, obviously to keep 621 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,080 you from going off the Cliff. But these guardrails aren't 622 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,760 right on the edge, you know, like they're not by the Cliff 623 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:20,560 because if they were and you hit them, you're going over the 624 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,960 Cliff. They're always, you know, 3 625 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,800 feet, maybe 4 feet from the edge. 626 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:27,720 So that if you hit that guardrail and you reach that, 627 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,160 whatever you call it, the buffer zone, maybe you're not going 628 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,640 over. So if you put that in your 629 00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:35,680 spiritual life, if the Cliff is, you know, not waiting, you know, 630 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,520 having sex before you're married or watching porn or whatever, 631 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,400 whatever sin it is that you're trying to set up a guardrails 632 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,560 for, they can't be right on the line. 633 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,240 We're not going to be naked around each other. 634 00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,240 OK, Well, no kidding. But if you get right up to that 635 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,720 guard row, you're probably going to fall, you know, or it can't 636 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,600 be. We're going to spend the night 637 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,920 together, but nothing's going to happen. 638 00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:54,320 That can't be your guard row because when you hit that guard 639 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,920 row, you're going to go over. But I think all couples should 640 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,280 implement these. And again, these aren't things 641 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,000 we were perfect at, but it's things we learned. 642 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,600 And if we could redo it, we would do this. 643 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,600 Don't make out for a super long period of time or at all. 644 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,520 Yeah, I remember. I remember Robbie in one of our 645 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:13,400 SLT meetings back in high school said like how it's probably 646 00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,200 going to lead to sin if you make out for 30 minutes. 647 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,040 And that was the first time I'd ever even heard it put like 648 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,440 that. And I was like, well, that's 649 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:19,840 true. You know, I mean like that 650 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,880 really is. And it's going to be hard for 651 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:24,200 you to make out and not sin at all. 652 00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:26,560 So I would say be very careful with that one, if at all. 653 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:28,920 Be careful of situations where you're alone. 654 00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,880 Like, you know, if you guys are still living at your your 655 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,920 parents house or you have roommates or something, don't be 656 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:34,200 in the room with the door closed. 657 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,560 I understand there's certain situations where you may be 658 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:38,960 alone for a short period of time, but when you're in those 659 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,640 moments, your guardrail should be even taller, you know, even 660 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,680 even safer, even farther away from the Cliff. 661 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:45,440 I think maybe this one goes without saying. 662 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,000 But like, we would never even change around each other, you 663 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,080 know? I mean, like, yeah, we swam with 664 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,440 each other. So she had seen me with my shirt 665 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,800 off and stuff. But like, even if I was changing 666 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,200 shirt, I'd go in another room, you know, like don't take your 667 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,400 clothes off. Another Speaking of swimsuits, 668 00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,160 like a safe rule is don't touch a part of your body that would 669 00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,440 be covered by a swimsuit. You know, that's not mine to 670 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,600 touch on her and that wasn't her. 671 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,400 So there's other ones, but you have to think about what are 672 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:11,600 your trigger points? Again, if you're not willing to 673 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:13,440 admit that it's pride. You need to be honest. 674 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,480 All of us have trigger points. And then what times of your life 675 00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,880 are you most vulnerable? I heard this said in like a 676 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,840 YouTube video. I couldn't even find it if I 677 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,440 wanted to. But the video was like, how far 678 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:24,720 is too far? And like I said at the 679 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,600 beginning, I was really curious about that when I started dating 680 00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:28,800 because I didn't know there is a time and place for that 681 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,240 conversation. But so many times I think we use 682 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:35,360 that question selfishly. It's like, how far is too far? 683 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:37,920 But when you think about it, what you're asking yourself is 684 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,560 how close can I get to breaking God's heart without doing it? 685 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,600 You know, like how close, how far away from God can I get 686 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:48,360 without it being bad? How close can I get to sinning 687 00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:50,760 without it being bad? So don't even worry about that. 688 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:55,360 Like pursue God wholeheartedly. Walk with Jesus step by step by 689 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,680 step is so many times, especially in our culture, we 690 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,440 think God's boundaries are to keep us from a fun life. 691 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,280 You know, God doesn't want you to have sex. 692 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,560 Like you said, God doesn't want you to explore your sexuality 693 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,120 because he doesn't want you to have fun. 694 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,440 He wants you to be that stiff religious kind. 695 00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,720 But anything God's telling you not to do is to is to protect 696 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,640 you. But God gave you the desire to 697 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,280 have sex. God gave you the desire for if 698 00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,160 you're a dude for a girl or you know, vice versa. 699 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,960 God gave you that desire, but it's to be used correctly. 700 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,400 And when it's not or when it's, you know, handled foolishly like 701 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,000 that's, that's going to cause destruction. 702 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,160 So take it very slow. That's not fun. 703 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,600 That's probably not what your friends are doing, but you won't 704 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:34,560 regret it. You really won't. 705 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,320 You won't. All right, guys. 706 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:38,240 So I hope you all enjoyed this episode. 707 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,240 This has been awesome. I hope you really take some 708 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,120 stuff away from this and maybe put some guardrails up in your 709 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,520 own life and just ultimately grow closer with God. 710 00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:51,080 So stay tuned, stay blessed, and we'll see you guys next week.