1 00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:08,640 What's up guys? My name's Alexis, your host of 2 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,640 Praises in the Pod, and I am super excited to do Part 2 of 3 00:00:12,640 --> 00:00:16,680 Brandon and Jess's story. It has been amazing so far. 4 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,080 They had a skedaddle, but we already had it prerecorded and 5 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,920 everything else. So I'm going to use this intro 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,520 to start off Part 2. We're going to start off in 7 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:27,200 prayer and we're going to jump right in. 8 00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:32,800 So here we go Lord Heavenly Father, thank you for today, 9 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:34,600 thank you for all your many blessings. 10 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,360 Dear God. I pray that this story Lord is 11 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,160 used to glorify you and your life and what all you have done 12 00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:45,040 in their life. Lord, I pray that you just use 13 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:48,440 this episode in a mighty way. In Jesus name I pray. 14 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:50,360 Amen. She goes inside and I look, I 15 00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:55,360 was like, we got something here. And so she comes out. 16 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,640 She's like, she says she doesn't want to talk to you. 17 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,240 And I was like, I'm, I'm, I just want to meet Natalie. 18 00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,120 And she was like, yeah, she said she doesn't want to talk to you. 19 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:07,280 So turned around, left, drove to Columbus, two hour, 2 1/2 hours 20 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,760 away. Then we drove back and, and 21 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:10,800 drove back. And that was it. 22 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,800 I was like, I, yeah, this is done. 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:18,040 And found out months later, some guy reached out to me and he was 24 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:19,600 like, hey, did you ever date Natalie Smith? 25 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:21,320 And I'm like, if you want to call it that. 26 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,320 Yeah, sure. And he was like, well, this is 27 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:26,040 who it was. And he sent me a picture of who 28 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:27,600 it was. Yeah, 'cause I mean, I've been 29 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,880 on the edge of the seat. This is good. 30 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:31,800 He shows me. He was like, yeah, so this girl 31 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,360 named Brittany that I went to high school was playing her and 32 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:38,240 also this other Brittany girl. And I was like, that's probably 33 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,320 who was on the PT cruise and everything. 34 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,240 That's who it was. And I was like, OK, so that was 35 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,640 that was passed. But as soon as I got back, 36 00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:51,160 that's when I met my second wife and at Gingy, and we just kind 37 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,520 of hit it off. And that was one of the things 38 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:59,640 again, I was heartbroken and just looking for somebody to 39 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,320 love me and should have never happened. 40 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,240 But we started dating and hanging out and I was not. 41 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,039 This is the part of my life. I was not a very good Christian. 42 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,800 Like I was not reading the Bible. 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,920 I was not going to church. I was completely different. 44 00:02:12,920 --> 00:02:15,800 I started cussing a lot. Like I was just a different 45 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:20,160 person, different Brandon. And so we we started hanging out 46 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:23,880 and everything and she moved in with me was not living my, my, 47 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,640 the, the type of life that I would normally live. 48 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,840 She was living an even different life. 49 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,600 So you know she. She wasn't pushing me back 50 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:32,880 towards he. Was out of character and then he 51 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,920 went for somebody that was kind of different than what he. 52 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,280 Yeah, yeah. And so she, you know, was into 53 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,160 substances and, you know, while I was working at night and 54 00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,600 stuff, she'd have guys over at the apartment stuff. 55 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,000 So a lot of things, Again, I should have ended this, but then 56 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,720 we ended up getting pregnant, finding out that we were having 57 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:55,120 Jade in March of 2016 and. Been together for like 3 months. 58 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,320 Yeah, she found out she was pregnant and she is pretty clear 59 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,400 from the beginning that like, she's not really looking for 60 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:04,880 anything serious, but he's kind of just coasting and and trying 61 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,000 to get through this difficult time that he's in. 62 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,400 And I and I was working night shift and a certain guy that she 63 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,160 had relations with in the past would start coming over to the 64 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,520 house and everything and. And when he would say things 65 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,920 like, I'm not comfortable with that, she would say things like, 66 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,920 I'm not your ex, like you're just damaged because of what 67 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,840 happened to you. So you don't trust me. 68 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,720 But you know, that's, that's you bringing into that. 69 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,640 Yeah, she was definitely targeting my my lack of trust. 70 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,160 And there's a lot more situations where, yeah, like 71 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,200 this, you know, and then even some that I wouldn't trust her. 72 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,160 And maybe she wasn't doing anything wrong, but I just, I 73 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,120 just could not trust. Oh, it was, it was so hard to 74 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,080 this time to be a cop. I mean, my entire like five 75 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:48,640 years of being a cop, I was, I guess, just mentally drained, 76 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,200 emotionally drained. I was tormented because I didn't 77 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,400 know what was going on with home and and all this other stuff. 78 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,560 And when she got pregnant, towards the middle or end of her 79 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,200 pregnancy, she's like, you know what? 80 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,520 I think I do want to settle down. 81 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:02,560 Yeah, let's do this. Oh, wow. 82 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,080 It's. Like we're already here, I'm 83 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,240 pregnant, let's let's have a family. 84 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,200 And so they got married when she was like 8. 85 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:13,200 Months in it, so we found out we have in Jade in March and then 86 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:18,360 in June, June 26th of 2016 or 27th, one of those two days 87 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,680 that's when I got diagnosed with cancer and so basically I had a 88 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,640 lump in my groin. Cops more back in the day we 89 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:28,360 would have the duty belt and then our magazine pouch or I had 90 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,560 a magazine pouch for my firearm. Mine was vertical just because 91 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:33,040 it was easier to take out if I needed it. 92 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,520 And every time I'd sit down in my car or anywhere, it would 93 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:39,440 like dig into my groin. And so I started noticing this 94 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,920 little lump forming in my groin. And I was like, what is that? 95 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,880 I just thought I hated going to the doctor. 96 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,360 I always have. And so I was like, oh, it must 97 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:50,080 just be a blood clot. News flash, blood clots are 98 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:53,760 still very, very important. She said that I'm like, hang on, 99 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:56,960 that's pretty. Bad, I mean, I didn't realize 100 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,840 that I was like, it's just a blood clot, no big deal. 101 00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:03,120 And and so I dealt with it for like a year and a half just 102 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,000 sitting there and it was starting to hurt and everything 103 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,960 like that. My second wife, she was like, 104 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,080 you need to go get that checked out. 105 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,280 And I was like, no, I'm not and she would like bug me. 106 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:13,480 Go get it checked out. So I went and got it checked out 107 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,080 and mind you, Tiger, like growing up, I was a 108 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,240 hypochondriac. Like if it showed up on TVI had 109 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,480 it tumor. I had the brain tumor, 110 00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:26,480 mesothelioma. I had it even though I never was 111 00:05:26,480 --> 00:05:29,040 around paint or any kind of asbestos or anything like that. 112 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:34,760 I had mesothelioma and, and so I would always tell my mom I got 113 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,320 cancer. I can't. 114 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:39,840 You don't have cancer, Brandon. I go to the doctor and find out 115 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:43,840 I have stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma, like stage 3 E, It was 116 00:05:43,840 --> 00:05:48,480 in seven areas of my body, very close to being stage 4. 117 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,440 I was like I was. Like you just found out you're 118 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,240 going to be a dad. And you find out you have stage 119 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,080 two, I was like, holy crap. So I looked at my mom. 120 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:55,320 I was like, told you I had cancer. 121 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:57,920 We, we got the, got the prognosis and they were like, 122 00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:01,360 look, you know, you're going to be fine. 123 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,640 You know, we'll, we'll start some chemos. 124 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:07,320 I had to do 8 rounds of chemo and you know, it's going to take 125 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,400 a while because it's in a lot of areas of your body. 126 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,320 The doctor said, I'm glad you already have a, you know, kid on 127 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,720 the way because you probably will never have kids again after 128 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,920 the chemo. And I was like, yeah, you're 129 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:17,640 right. And OK. 130 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:20,080 And I almost somebody always wanted to be a dad, you know, my 131 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,120 whole life. And I was like, OK, yeah, you're 132 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,120 right. So I started thinking like, God, 133 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,920 you know, you know, praying, Sorry, I was starting to get 134 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:29,960 back into praying because you find out you got cancer, you 135 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,560 know, that changes that changes things. 136 00:06:31,560 --> 00:06:32,840 I was like, what's the purpose for this? 137 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,320 Everything. So I started getting back in it. 138 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,760 But, you know, and I'd say, you know, I'm going to start reading 139 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,600 the Bible more and I'll start praying, going to church and 140 00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,360 everything. But my wife at the time was 141 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:41,920 like, no, she didn't want anything to do with that. 142 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,880 So we started the started the chemo. 143 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:48,760 I would do it every other Thursday and I did it for about 144 00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:53,240 8 months and the first six were very easy. 145 00:06:53,600 --> 00:06:56,200 They put a port in, I'd go and I'd sit there for five hours and 146 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,360 they would do 4 chemo treatment, like 4 different medicines. 147 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,960 So after two treatments I would after every two treatments I'd 148 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,800 go back to the doctor and they'd do scans and stuff. 149 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,040 And after my second treatment, I went to the daughter, they did a 150 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,600 PET scan, they did a CAT scan, they did my blood work. 151 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,280 And they were like, your blood work looks fine, looks perfect. 152 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,720 And I was like, OK, cool. And they were like, they did the 153 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:20,320 scans and everything they said. There's also no trace of cancer 154 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,640 anywhere. And I was like, really? 155 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,320 She was like, yeah, it's almost like you never even had it. 156 00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,720 That's crazy. And I was like, that's God. 157 00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,240 I don't know. I don't know how else you. 158 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,360 I mean, you tell me I have to go through 12 rounds of these 159 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:35,000 things and after only two of them it's 2 completely gone. 160 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:38,120 Now you said eight months though, so you took one and then 161 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,440 a few months later. Yeah, so I told her I was like, 162 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:41,720 so that means I don't have to do anymore chemo. 163 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,840 She was like, no, we're still going to go through all of it 164 00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,080 just to make sure it doesn't come back. 165 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,400 Yeah, I'm not, I'm not one of those people that thinks every 166 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,680 little thing's a miracle. You know, I'm not, I'm not one 167 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:51,720 of those things. Yeah, I'm not one of those 168 00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,520 people that thinks that God's just always going to do 169 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,760 miracles. Because if that's the case, 170 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,560 they're not miracles. They happen all the time. 171 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,520 But I in my life, that is an instance where I said, OK, 172 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,360 that's a miracle. Absolutely. 173 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:04,640 Finished all the, you know, chemos and everything, 174 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,600 everything was clear. February 1st of 17, they were 175 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,240 like, yeah, you're in remission, you're good to go and so. 176 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,680 Got to ring the bell. Yeah, got to ring the bell and 177 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,480 then but then that's when we're like, I think in October of 16, 178 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,400 I still had cancerous when we had Jade, you know. 179 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:24,280 And so once I had once I was over with that went back to work 180 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:27,960 and just kind of started living our life raising Jade and 181 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:33,919 everything. 2018, December 2018, That's when I started noticing 182 00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:37,520 that there were some things going on that shouldn't have 183 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,960 been going on. Person decided anymore. 184 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:42,200 They didn't want to be married, you know, And so we started 185 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,520 hanging out with her friends and she most mostly started hanging 186 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,920 out with her friends, but it became like a constant thing, 187 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,640 constant thing and didn't really want anything to do with me 188 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,520 anymore. And so I'd, you know, I had 189 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,200 trust issues. So I start questioning 190 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,480 everything and it's like attacking those like, Oh, no, 191 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,000 you're just crazy. You know, you're just paranoid 192 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,160 and all this kind of stuff. I'm like, oh, something's going 193 00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,120 on. And again, I'm sparing details 194 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,520 and, but I started investigating, you know, looking 195 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,560 at phone records of my ex-wife and stuff like that and noticing 196 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,480 a certain phone number showing up all the time. 197 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:15,160 And, but through probably two or three months of investigating, 198 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,240 eventually came, came to the to head. 199 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,240 I've, I've, I've figured out my Nana called me one day. 200 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,360 She was, and I was like, Nana and I'm working. 201 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,840 I'm like, Nana, I'm freaking out. 202 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:30,960 In my personal investigation, I used my computer at work to look 203 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:34,160 up this phone number and then found out who the phone number 204 00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,640 belonged to. And it was her best friend's 205 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,440 boyfriend. Yeah. 206 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,800 And, and I was like, OK. And that's kind of who I figured 207 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,120 it was because they were, she was hanging out with people all 208 00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:45,880 the time. And then, and then I used my 209 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:49,200 computer two more times to, to find out the address on stuff. 210 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,640 And she was constantly going to Macon, constantly going to 211 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,800 Macon. And this guy lived to Macon. 212 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:56,000 And I was like, okay, and so my name was like, let me go to that 213 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,200 address. And I was like, no, no, it's 214 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,560 we're not going to do that. We're not going to do anything 215 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,240 like that. She was like, let me go and see 216 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:03,960 if her car's there. I was like, okay, fine. 217 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,280 So she goes sending me a picture with her car in the Sky's 218 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:09,000 driveway. And so I was like, that's it. 219 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,400 And I break down, I'll go and tell my sarge, you know, I was 220 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:12,800 like, look, this is what I'm going through. 221 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,800 Because they all knew something's up because I I 222 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:18,200 started losing weight. I was not normal jokester brand 223 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,920 and everything. And, and I was like, look, I'm 224 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,240 going, you know, my wife's having an affair. 225 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,920 And I was like, I'm going through all this. 226 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,320 And I was like, and just so you know, I used my computer, you 227 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,000 know, to find out some stuff which won against PD policy to 228 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:37,560 use your, your, your computer for work, for business or for 229 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,040 personal reasons. And I was like, so I used my 230 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,680 computer and he was like, OK, well, I appreciate you telling 231 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:44,840 me. I'll pass it on to the chief. 232 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,520 And so he did. So they took me off the road 233 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,280 and, and I went and confronted her and I was like, look, I 234 00:10:50,280 --> 00:10:51,920 know. And just the normal like, oh, 235 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,120 that's not true, you know, And she ended up leaving. 236 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,600 The GBI actually came in because what I did was also against the 237 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,280 law. And so GBI came in and they were 238 00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:02,880 like, hey, we're going to interview you. 239 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,840 We're going to investigate the situation. 240 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,080 We interview you, we're going to interview her. 241 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,800 The boyfriend. I was like, OK, fine. 242 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:12,080 So they did all that and they came back. 243 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,360 They, my chief wasn't going to fire me, OK, because I was 244 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:18,760 honest about it all. And everybody was telling me not 245 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:21,320 to be honest. Like my best friends at the PD, 246 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:23,640 they were like printing, don't say, like they're not going to 247 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,960 find out, don't say anything. And I was like, no, I'm going to 248 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,160 be honest. The, the process for them is 249 00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:31,880 they have to go to the, the, the District Attorney and say, Hey, 250 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,040 this is what we got. We, you know, give their 251 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,600 recommendation. And so they gave the 252 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,240 recommendation to the DA at the time of Houston County and said, 253 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,720 Hey, we don't recommend charges. Yeah. 254 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,880 It was like, Nope, I'm taking them to the grand jury for three 255 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,320 felonies. Oh my gosh. 256 00:11:44,560 --> 00:11:47,200 And so when they came back, I was like, are you kidding me? 257 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,680 My career was just starting. Like I had been there for five 258 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:51,400 years. Like it was. 259 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,440 I started getting the hang of things, you know, And my chief 260 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,320 called me in the office one day and was like, hey, DA is taking 261 00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,960 you to the grand jury for three felonies. 262 00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,920 So I got to fire you and I was like, I was like, are you 263 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,800 kidding me? And I was like, I get it, you. 264 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:07,200 Know in the midst of. All this going on, Yeah, in the. 265 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:10,440 In the like the fair of every your wife and. 266 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,240 All that was all fresh wow and I was like, all right, you know, I 267 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,640 understand is what it is. I had a a bad call at work too 268 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,720 one time. I guess I can dive into that 269 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,360 because that was a that ended up being a major issue for me. 270 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:30,320 So February, February of 19. So while all this was going on 271 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,120 before I, you know, turn myself in everything, we had a shift 272 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,760 where our radios went out and so we couldn't, we couldn't contact 273 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,000 each other like the cops, you know, on the road. 274 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,640 We couldn't communicate with each other, couldn't communicate 275 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:48,640 with EMS, fire or anything. And so all we could really see 276 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,120 is like the dispatchers would call us and say, Hey, I need to 277 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,840 go to this call or on our computers, we can see where they 278 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,880 were dispatching us. But I was heading back to the 279 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,600 and I just happened to pull up because I had to go do work on 280 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,880 some reports and stuff for the PD. 281 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,400 And I happened to pull up my computer and I saw a call 282 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:09,000 holding and it was a dog bite. And I saw I pulled up the notes 283 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,360 and it was like 6 year old boy bitten by dog people going crazy 284 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,480 and stuff like this. And I called my sarge. 285 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,120 I said, hey sarge, look at this call. 286 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:18,520 He pulled it up and he was let me look at it and reading and 287 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,960 everything. He was like, Oh yeah, go ahead. 288 00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,360 And I said run code. Code 3 was license sirens. 289 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,000 They said run code. So I flipped them on a hall tail 290 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,760 and I get down there and I pull up and I hear the screaming and 291 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:31,160 I'm the first one there and I hear screaming and I go across 292 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:32,440 to my left and knock on the door. 293 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,480 No one. And then I go to my right and 294 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:40,000 someone and someone comes around the the house and I'm like over 295 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,320 here, over here. So I, I run over there and as 296 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:47,320 I'm running the dog there, a big white Pitbull comes up and, and 297 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,400 meets me at the gate and just, I mean, barking its head off, just 298 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,200 showing its teeth and everything, you know, acting 299 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,280 like I'm about to come and get me. 300 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:58,520 And so I stop, I draw, I draw down on them, you know, 'cause 301 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:01,000 I'm like, like if this thing comes and attack me, I'm 302 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,280 shooting. And two other cops show up, They 303 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,320 draw down on them as well. And I'm like, y'all, y'all worry 304 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,960 about the dog, I'm going to go find the kid. 305 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,960 They're like, yeah, we got it. So they start like distracting 306 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,560 the dog and everything. And I go around, I go to the 307 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:18,400 backyard and I see everyone on a trampoline and the hell like the 308 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,080 Nets up and everything. And at this point there were 309 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,480 probably four or five more officers that showed up and 310 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:23,920 they're all dealing with the the dog. 311 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,360 And so I run at the trampoline and I jump into the trampoline 312 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,280 inside the net. And when I get in there, I 313 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:31,280 noticed that the the people are on the outside of the net. 314 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,360 And so I'm like jumping around and as I'm on the trampoline, 315 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,480 this dog gets over there and it's like trying to bite me 316 00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:37,720 through the bottom of the trampoline. 317 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:42,640 And so my buddy Josh Warren, he's got a, a broom handle or 318 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:43,920 something, I think it was a broom handle. 319 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,720 And he starts trying to hit the dog to get it out from under the 320 00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,080 trampoline because I didn't want to jump down and it get me. 321 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:54,240 And this lady is sitting on the side of the trampoline and 322 00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:56,280 holding this boy, 6 year old boy. 323 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,840 And she's screaming, has blood all over her. 324 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:03,120 And and this may get a little graphic, but it was it was the 325 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,120 hardest call I had ever gone through. 326 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,160 And this boy is just kind of lifeless in her lap and she's 327 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,440 screaming and everything. And I said, give me the boy and 328 00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:16,320 I could see through his arms. I could see through his legs 329 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,760 like he was, he was messed up. And I said, give me the boy. 330 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:24,720 And she was like, OK, so I grab him and I go running tore back 331 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,440 towards the front again. I, the only thing was in my mind 332 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:30,160 was like, I can't call EMS. I can't say anything to EMS. 333 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:33,200 So I don't know where they are. You know, they were on the way 334 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,920 and I don't know where they are. And so I tell Sarge I was like, 335 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,600 Sarge, I'm taking him to the hospital. 336 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,120 I was like, I don't have time to sit here and wait. 337 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,160 I don't know where EMS is. He was like, good idea. 338 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,480 Go. So I buckle him in the back seat 339 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,640 and I tell off as I'm pulling out of the neighborhood. 340 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:49,800 EMS is coming in the whole time I'm I'm reaching back, you know, 341 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:50,760 and I'm like, it's all right, buddy. 342 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,560 You know, that he would make like a little like a whimper, 343 00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,600 you know, and I'm like, it's all right, buddy. 344 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:55,400 It's all right. Sorry. 345 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,200 I'm like just hanging there, hanging there. 346 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,400 And I'm, I'm going. And as I'm pulling on the 347 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,320 hospital drive, I, I don't hear him anymore. 348 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,000 And I'm like, I started like breaking down. 349 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,280 I'm like this, this boy died my car, you know, I was like, and 350 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:13,640 so I pull in the hospital drive. I pull into the ER and I grab 351 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,120 him and I'm like, OK, he's alive. 352 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,360 So I grab him and I'll take him aside and I'll tell him 353 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,920 everything that's going on. And I'm just like pacing back 354 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,720 and forth. I'm like just trying to like, 355 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:23,880 you know, just praying and everything and praying for the 356 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,000 boy. It was crazy because after I 357 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,160 kind of get done pacing everything and he's, he's in 358 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:34,440 their hands. I, I go to walk out and the EMT 359 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,320 that was driving the Ms. they ended up turning around and came 360 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:39,800 up there and he confronted me. He was like, don't ever do that 361 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,520 again. I was like, do what? 362 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:45,160 And he was like, we were coming. You wait for us next time. 363 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,240 And I was like, dude, get out of my face because one, our radios 364 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,000 aren't working. I didn't know you were coming. 365 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,080 I didn't know where you were. I said I did what I had to do 366 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,680 and I pushed BASM and I left and ended up finding out that they 367 00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:00,040 ended up killing the dog because he was just the dog was just 368 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:05,280 outgoing crazy. And later on found out that they 369 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,560 ended up finding that boy to Atlanta, you know, saved his 370 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,599 legs and everything. Like he he ended up making a 371 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:12,599 full recovery. And and I had told everybody 372 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:14,920 about the EMT and everything. So my heart came up to me one 373 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:18,839 day and he it was actually after I had gotten fired like this was 374 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,440 months later. And and he was like, Brandon, he 375 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,280 said you he said, Brandon, you remember that call? 376 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,839 And I was like, yeah, he's like, well, I just want to let you 377 00:17:27,839 --> 00:17:30,400 know that a doctor got in touch with us and he said that if you 378 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,720 wouldn't have did what you did that day, he wouldn't survive. 379 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,560 Oh, wow. And I was like, and I and I 380 00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,760 really appreciated that. And the act, the supervisor of 381 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:42,040 the of EMS actually got with me. He said, sorry about that. 382 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:46,000 You know, that was uncalled for. And so that was the hardest, 383 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:50,480 hardest absolutely call. But why did I get on that? 384 00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:53,640 Just like a picture of just like the mental. 385 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,280 Yeah, just everything. Yeah. 386 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,600 And at that same time, the next few months are just a lot of 387 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,680 back and forth. We actually end up getting back 388 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:06,120 together because it was like, hey, you know, I think she just 389 00:18:06,120 --> 00:18:07,400 kind of needed me for an apartment. 390 00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,200 I was working at Trap Supply Warehouse at this time because I 391 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:14,480 just needed a job and I was like 3 weeks living in this apartment 392 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,680 with her and I was like, look, I'm done because she's going out 393 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,360 and still hanging with this dude that she cheated on me with. 394 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,200 And I was like I'm done. So I'll leave and everything. 395 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:27,120 And then just going through it, I end up getting a, a trailer 396 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:32,320 that I rented and Warner Robins. And then that's actually why I 397 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,840 was at Walmart because I started living in this trailer and I 398 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:39,280 needed some blinds. Oh my God I go to Walmart and 399 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:42,720 I'm looking for blinds and. So the breakup's fresh when 400 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,320 y'all break to each other it. Was like nine months later. 401 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,320 Oh, OK, but I mean, we had a kid together and they so they didn't 402 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:51,920 do but so that was the breakup wasn't as fresh anymore. 403 00:18:51,920 --> 00:18:56,000 It was more just frustrations with custody, you know, because 404 00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:00,520 she was very much she's my daughter. 405 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,360 You don't care about her. It wasn't true. 406 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,560 You know, I say what goes with her and I, you see her when I 407 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,160 say you can see her and stuff like that. 408 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:13,320 So it was just a lot of, at this point, it was mainly Jade that 409 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,280 was the frustration. But so, yeah, that's where 410 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,280 that's where we saw each other at Walmart. 411 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,600 And I actually told her and I was like, when we started 412 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,880 talking, I was like, look, I live in a trailer. 413 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:24,640 You're like, you don't want anything to do with me because, 414 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,720 Oh my God, what I knew of her because I told you like in high 415 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,360 school, she, she was the girl that everyone wanted to be with. 416 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,960 And so like, when I saw her, I'm like, oh, she probably lives in 417 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,520 this big old mansion. Parents have these amazing jobs. 418 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,760 You know she don't want little old Brandon Carlson like this 419 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,760 peasant over here. Oh my gosh. 420 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:45,840 OK, so you are both going through very similar things, you 421 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:49,640 know, different but the same. And then so you go to, I'm 422 00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:51,600 guessing you go to church, to the church. 423 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:56,680 Funny because I told Sydney, I said mark my words, I will never 424 00:19:56,680 --> 00:20:05,480 love again unless I find some jaded single dad who is so sweet 425 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:09,560 and would never hurt a family. That's my gosh, God said. 426 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,720 Hold up a second. Yes, I bet. 427 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:15,200 Yeah, so. Let me interrupt you real quick, 428 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,240 but this was the point of time when I was like, this was my 429 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,760 deciding moment. Like after I was like, look, 430 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,800 I've been through this twice already and I was praying like 431 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,840 I'd really started getting more into the Bible and I don't tell 432 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,800 a lot of people, but like I had a moment where I literally had a 433 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,840 gun at my head, like I was ready to call it quits. 434 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:34,760 And the only reason I didn't, it's because I had jade. 435 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,840 And I remember I remember praying. 436 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:41,440 It was like, God, you know, my relationships have not gone the 437 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:46,640 way they were supposed to. And, and I was like, it's 438 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,760 because I was searching for what I wanted, not what you wanted 439 00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:52,520 for me. And I said, and I and I kept 440 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:54,880 praying. I was like, God match my 441 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:58,520 desires, whether it's, you know, relationship or whatever, match 442 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:02,920 my desires with your desires. You know, if, if it is meant for 443 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,520 me to get married again, I want the woman that you want me to be 444 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,760 with, nothing else. If they, if they're not out 445 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:10,400 there, not out there is what it is. 446 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,560 And it's funny. He gave me what I wanted and 447 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,360 what he wanted. Amen. 448 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:19,960 OK. So Fast forward, we run into 449 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:24,480 each other at Walmart, we have this conversation, he invites me 450 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,960 to start going to therapy, and then he invites me to church. 451 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:29,360 And I actually did bail that Sunday. 452 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:34,160 And it was just because I just felt, first of all, I didn't 453 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:35,600 know anything about this with him. 454 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,800 And it's so funny because you hear all this craziness about 455 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,400 him. But my perspective is that the 456 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:45,000 Brandon that I'm thinking of is he is so that kid that never got 457 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 in trouble in school, he was a police officer. 458 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,520 He just doesn't do any wrong. He's just a sweetheart. 459 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:55,240 And, you know, I was feeling a little bit unworthy of going to 460 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,640 church with somebody who I didn't feel like knew what it 461 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,760 was like to make mistakes and, and go through hard things. 462 00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:05,960 And so I was totally wrong. And so we can be so wrong about 463 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,720 people. But I didn't go that first 464 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,400 Sunday. But we continued to just talk 465 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:16,480 every single day and talk on the phone for hours, for hours and 466 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:19,080 hours and hours. But I remember that it was so 467 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:24,600 interesting because I was really starting to open in my heart to 468 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,520 God and like seeking God. And, and then here comes Brandon 469 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:31,400 and he's like, he's at a point in his life when we run into 470 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,040 each other where he is on fire for God. 471 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,680 And I remember one of the things he told me was at this point in 472 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:38,080 my life, I could be butt naked on the side of the road with 473 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,400 nothing. And as long as I have God, I am 474 00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,240 complete and I'm OK. But it took a lot to get there, 475 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:45,960 like a lot of prayer. So I don't know all of this 476 00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,880 stuff and I'm thinking like, wow, like I don't know what it 477 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:50,840 would take for me to get to that place. 478 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,920 And the more I'm getting to know him, like, yes, I was inspired 479 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,480 by him as a person and everything he's been through, 480 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,480 but mostly I just saw Jesus all over him. 481 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,400 Because one of the things that he said to me that I tell people 482 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,920 because I know it was one of the questions that you asked is 483 00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:08,840 like, what would you say to anyone who felt like they were 484 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:12,880 beyond redemption? So he and I are sitting there 485 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,160 talking and I'm telling him how, you know, I want to have God in 486 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:20,040 my life, but I'm afraid because I've made so many mistakes. 487 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:23,240 And, you know, in retrospect and hearing other people's stories, 488 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,560 it's not anything that's beyond redemption, but it's amazing how 489 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,600 you know you can view yourself in a negative light and that's 490 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,920 where you'll stay. Yeah. 491 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,560 But when you start to view yourself the way that God does, 492 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,800 it completely changes that. But I was telling him, you know 493 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,920 how I felt about myself and unworthy and he would tell me 494 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,440 like. And she was going deep. 495 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,640 Like, I mean, I was telling me all about her life, stuff that a 496 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:50,160 lot of people don't know. Yeah, like I was just telling 497 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:51,800 him about some really challenging things that I've 498 00:23:51,800 --> 00:23:54,360 been through going up that I had never really told anyone. 499 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,000 I bet that was very like healing too, to actually voice. 500 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:05,200 It was, you know, for example, I had been sexually assaulted when 501 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:09,280 I was a teenager and I held a lot of shame with that. 502 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:14,400 And I viewed myself in that light and I couldn't escape from 503 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:18,480 it for a long time. And just things that I had 504 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:22,280 experienced growing up that I, I shifted the blame onto myself. 505 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:26,000 And so I'm sitting here telling him all of this and, and he 506 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:29,400 tells me that shame is not from God. 507 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,960 He's like, that is not from him. And I remember he told me in 508 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:37,320 Genesis, when God looked at everything he created, he said 509 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,480 it is good. He said he knew your name. 510 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,720 He knew every decision that you would make. 511 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:46,640 And he said it was good. He said he was talking about 512 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,640 you. He was talking about me. 513 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:52,520 He was talking about Tyler. He was talking about Jade's mom 514 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,520 he was talking about and he said this. 515 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,960 And that's where I felt Jesus coming from him, because I'm 516 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:01,520 like. Yeah, none of that stuff matters 517 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:02,840 like. None of that matters, and no. 518 00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,760 One is beyond. Redemption and he's like, you 519 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:09,480 can't let him down because he's so far above it all. 520 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,000 You can't do anything to earn His love and you can't do 521 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:17,120 anything to take away His love because he doesn't love you 522 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,120 because of what you've done or what you haven't done. 523 00:25:19,120 --> 00:25:22,480 He loves you because of how powerful he is and everything 524 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,880 that he can do, not because of anything you can do. 525 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,760 And you don't have to change, you don't have to just come to 526 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,320 him. Just come to him and give it to 527 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,520 him and he will make you into who he wants you to be. 528 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:36,160 Yes. It's not like, you know, and 529 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:39,200 that's a confusing thing because it's not like you're saying you 530 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:43,080 can keep living the way that you're living and he and and 531 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,120 that's all he wants. No, but you can let him into 532 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:48,720 your heart and he will convict you and he will change the 533 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,920 things about you that need to be changed. 534 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,960 So you don't need to feel shameful. 535 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:57,640 You don't need to feel guilty about things you've done because 536 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:04,800 he knew that we weren't perfect. And and not really like that is 537 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,400 like that defining moment too for me is I was like, OK, And I 538 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,400 remember he asked me, you know, do you want to be saved? 539 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,000 And I said yes. And so we prayed that prayer 540 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,640 together on the phone. Wow. 541 00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:18,040 And and that was when I got saved and. 542 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:21,920 So before y'all started dating, Yeah well. 543 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,120 Y'all were kind of in the talk. Well, we had. 544 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:24,360 We had already told you that we liked each. 545 00:26:24,360 --> 00:26:25,640 Other. We admitted that we liked each 546 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,000 other because we had, like, a mutual friend, a really good 547 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:29,720 friend of his, like an acquaintance of mine. 548 00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:31,360 Oh, yeah. He had told me that he was 549 00:26:31,360 --> 00:26:32,680 talking to him. And he's like, yeah, I told him 550 00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:34,720 I was texting with you and talking to you on the phone. 551 00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,680 And he was like, well, just, you know. 552 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,920 Darren White. Darren White. 553 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,480 She does. Darren. 554 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,920 She said she does not like. Yeah, she don't want nothing to 555 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,880 do with you burning. And he was like, well, I'm not 556 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,160 saying she does, but we're talking. 557 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,280 And I said, well, actually I do. And he was like, really? 558 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:50,880 Oh, and I was like, wait a minute. 559 00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,200 And that's when he told me like, well, just so you know, like I'm 560 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,960 living, I'm living in a trailer right now. 561 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,240 I'm trying to get my life together. 562 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:02,040 And I just said, I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you 563 00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:06,480 think that I would care because that's not the type of person 564 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,320 that I am at all. I'm not beyond redemption. 565 00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:14,040 And I realized that in order for me to move forward and live a 566 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:16,200 happy life, I had to find forgiveness. 567 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,200 And I was able to do that because I realized that if I'm 568 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,320 not beyond redemption, then neither is Ollie's dad. 569 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:27,880 And I, you know, can pray for him and I can hope the best for 570 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,680 him. And I can pray that Ollie will 571 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,160 have both of us in his life. And of course, ups and downs, 572 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:37,640 battles of Co parenting, but I do see that. 573 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:41,320 And so it's really awesome. And and then just the way that 574 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:44,280 he spoke about, you know, Jade's mom, everything that they had 575 00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,720 been through, even still to this day, he would say you are not 576 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:53,680 too far for God's love. And that's probably my favorite 577 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:58,120 thing about him because up until meeting him, you know, like I 578 00:27:58,120 --> 00:28:01,080 said with my client, you know, I had this view of people who were 579 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:04,160 very religious of being judgmental or close minded, or 580 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:07,360 he's like, religion is man made and he's like a relationship 581 00:28:07,360 --> 00:28:08,760 with God is completely different. 582 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,360 And that really changed a lot for me. 583 00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:15,160 I know that God is so powerful and if he can take someone like 584 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:19,440 me and place me where I am now, then there's only there's no 585 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,240 limits to what he can do. It does just make me think like 586 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,960 I can plant a seed, but I can just sit back and show the love 587 00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:29,480 of God in in my actions and in the way I am to the people 588 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,760 around me and, and just hope for that and. 589 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,480 I don't want to take away my responsibility in what happened 590 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,960 to me. You know, I, I 100%, a lot of 591 00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:42,280 the things that happened to me were because of decisions that I 592 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,440 made. You know, I don't for one bit 593 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,200 think that God put me through any of that. 594 00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,280 Yeah. You know, I mean, God didn't 595 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,080 want me to get married either of those two times. 596 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,960 It was not. I was not ready for it. 597 00:28:55,120 --> 00:29:01,000 And so, but at the same time, I do think that, you know, we, we 598 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,320 probably weren't ready to be with each other like if we met 599 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,880 each other in 8th grade, because we, we've known each other since 600 00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,400 8th grade. If we started dating since 8th 601 00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,760 grade and midnight, I mean, it may not have worked out, you 602 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:12,400 know, But at the same time, maybe it is. 603 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,520 Maybe we were supposed to be together so well. 604 00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:17,560 That's what was funny, is I tried in my head to be like, 605 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,840 stop it. You were not ready for another 606 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:21,600 relationship. What are you doing? 607 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,840 But it's like when it is not God's plan, you can't thwart it. 608 00:29:25,880 --> 00:29:27,760 Yeah. And when it is God's plan, you 609 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,920 cannot stop it. Like this was my man. 610 00:29:29,920 --> 00:29:31,200 Yeah, Hey. There was no way. 611 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,440 My mom, my mom, they were all like Brandon. 612 00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:36,000 No, no. There we go. 613 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:39,080 You've already done this and everything, but I'm telling you 614 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:41,160 from the moment they met her, they were like, oh, we love her. 615 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,400 Yeah, they're like, never mind. And I remember your 616 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,280 sister-in-law, My sister-in-law now, she was like Jess. 617 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,560 She was like, the thing about Brandon is he would walk through 618 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,440 the fire for the people that he loves. 619 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,000 And she was like, I'm looking at you. 620 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,000 And I know that you would, too. And that brings me so much 621 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,320 comfort. And so, yeah, his parents took 622 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,120 the time to, like, invite us over for dinner every week and, 623 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:04,080 like, get to know me. And then they're like, oh, OK, 624 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,840 this is all right. My parents were very weary 625 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,600 because they were hurt through seeing me hurt. 626 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,040 Yeah. They had nicknames for me. 627 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,880 They, yeah, they did. They weren't ready. 628 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,320 They were not ready. But also, you know, this, I was 629 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,760 kind of like living a facade and no one really knew what I was 630 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:24,480 going through in my marriage. And so it came as more of a 631 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,080 shock to everyone else. And it didn't me. 632 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:31,120 I was, you know, a lot of times they say that women like their 633 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,840 heartbreak happens through the relationship. 634 00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,800 And once it's over, that's when the healing starts. 635 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,640 And that's just how it was for me. 636 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,760 And I, I did a lot of that. I dealt with the heartbreak on 637 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,600 my own in silence. And so then when it when it 638 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,880 ended, that's just when everyone else, but it was something that 639 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:49,760 I was going through. And so my family was not ready 640 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:51,960 because they it was still really fresh for them. 641 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,760 Yeah, seeing Jade especially just with everything that she's 642 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,600 gone through because she has been the one to really go 643 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:03,680 through it through just all of this and just that the faith 644 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,880 that an 8 year old can have. I mean, every night she falls 645 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,120 asleep to thank God. I do my Lauren Daigle because 646 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,400 that is like her song. And she you know, when I tell 647 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,000 her like, hey Jade, you know, like no battle is too big for 648 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:17,160 God. She's like, I know, I know. 649 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:21,160 And her verse right now is blessed are those who mourn for 650 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:25,680 they will be comforted. Oh wow, because she knows that 651 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,920 she's like sometimes I want to say, why would God make me have 652 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,840 to go through this? But then I realize he's not 653 00:31:31,840 --> 00:31:35,080 making me go through this. I'm going through this and he's 654 00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:39,280 going to use it for his glory. And so I just can't imagine the 655 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,840 testimony that that child's going to have one day because 656 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,880 she is strong and all of our kids are. 657 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,640 It's so amazing to see. I mean, Oliver just the way that 658 00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,080 he loves and you know. And just real quick on Jade, 659 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,800 again, like I said in the beginning, like we're going to 660 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:57,240 spare details, but there's some substance stuff on her mom's 661 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,160 side and we found out about that in May of last year. 662 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,160 And so now we've got custody of Jade. 663 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,560 So she's in a place where she can't see her mom and it's been 664 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:09,320 very tough, very tough. I mean for an 8 year old to go 665 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:10,440 through that. I mean it's. 666 00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:14,400 And we've had to like, be really honest with her because she is 667 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,520 so smart. We chose to. 668 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,000 We chose to and we. We felt like it was better for 669 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,160 her to just be honest with her about everything going on 670 00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,840 because I'd rather her be able to learn how to process those 671 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,200 emotions now than later on and then be put on someone else. 672 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,760 Yeah, and I mean, she was 7 when this happened. 673 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,920 And I think like, you realize a lot of times that kids know 674 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,600 what's going on more than we realize of adults. 675 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,280 And but she felt safe to tell us. 676 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:41,160 And so it was like the floodgates open and she was able 677 00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,520 to like release all these things that she felt like she had 678 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,920 questions about that she didn't know if she was safe there, that 679 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,880 she didn't know what to make of. And so when she told us and we 680 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,160 were able to answer those questions for her, it was like 681 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,320 what we thought was going to be the most horrible thing she'd 682 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,400 ever gone to was through was the start of her healing. 683 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,560 Because she was able to just let it off of her shoulders, give it 684 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:06,360 to us, give it to God. And she can just be a kid. 685 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:10,280 And so while this is so challenging for her, and I pray 686 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,400 and we pray that like they'll be reunited and that like this will 687 00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,920 be a story that they have to tell one day, that they got 688 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,640 through this. It's like right now, the way 689 00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:22,840 that she is like trusting God even in the waiting. 690 00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,720 I learned from her. Yeah, as an 8 year old, wow I. 691 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:30,240 Mean and I just think like, wow, like, you know, when I was a 692 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,280 kid, I mean, thank God I had a really stable childhood and I 693 00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:37,600 had really good parents, you know, but I'm just like, thank 694 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,200 God she has God because even when there's things that we 695 00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,640 don't have answers for, she can pray about it. 696 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,000 And she really has so much faith. 697 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,400 And then seeing, you know, Oliver, he prays for her mom 698 00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:51,360 like we'll pray together and he's like, I'm going to pray for 699 00:33:51,440 --> 00:33:53,240 Jason. She'll get better and you know, 700 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,320 I want to pray for Jay that she can see her again. 701 00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,880 A. Lot of the stuff that she was 702 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,240 seeing and you know, no, No 7 or 8 year olds should have to deal 703 00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,160 with that. And it's very frustrating. 704 00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:08,000 But at the same time, you know, I, I want to speak to her mom, 705 00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,360 if she ever listens to this, It's like I want you to 706 00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:18,159 understand that me, we together, we love you and all we want is 707 00:34:18,159 --> 00:34:22,239 for you to get better. And we don't condemn you. 708 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:26,800 We're not talking down about you is like my goal and our goal 709 00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:31,320 together is, is for her and for you and Jade. 710 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:34,639 And I'm speaking to her for you and Jade to be together again. 711 00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:38,679 Because no, no kid should live without their mom or their dad. 712 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:41,840 They should. A healthy child needs both. 713 00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,400 And that's what we want. And people, people think it's 714 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:49,280 crazy all the time that he's like, oh, cuz we're, we're 715 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:51,960 really quick to forgive, but we're also through this learning 716 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:55,639 how to forgive, but also be very careful. 717 00:34:56,239 --> 00:35:01,440 And, but I mean, we're, we're, we're not going to give up, you 718 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,760 know, And I, I, I've told her, I think that Jay's mom will be 719 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,360 saved one day. I, I do believe it, you know, 720 00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,880 and it about it may take years. It took your mom how long? 721 00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,640 Like 30 years. Yeah. 722 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:17,360 So, I mean, it may take years, but once again, she's not too 723 00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,280 far gone. She's not too far gone. 724 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,320 Well, one thing, you know, y'all keep talking, you know, about 725 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,720 Jade's faith and stuff, but y'all have instilled those 726 00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:28,440 values in her like, you know, like y'all have showed her what 727 00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:32,600 a Christ like centered marriage is like and how to show love and 728 00:35:32,600 --> 00:35:35,240 taking her to church and putting her in those environments. 729 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:38,400 So I mean, it didn't just come out of nowhere. 730 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:40,280 You know, it's like she's seeing it somewhere and she's 731 00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:45,000 reciprocating, reciprocating what she's seeing. 732 00:35:45,200 --> 00:35:47,440 That's how she's learning the love of God. 733 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:51,120 And I wanted to say this earlier, and we kind of got far, 734 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:55,400 far from this, but you may have the comment of like back then, 735 00:35:55,400 --> 00:36:00,160 you when you found out about the fair that Tyler had and stuff, 736 00:36:00,240 --> 00:36:02,720 you said that you felt in that moment God's presence. 737 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:05,480 And like he just wrapped your like, felt like you were in a 738 00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:07,520 hug and you just felt his presence all around you. 739 00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:10,240 And it's so awesome to hear that. 740 00:36:10,240 --> 00:36:12,280 Like that was a defining moment for you. 741 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:14,600 But like you never knew God before. 742 00:36:14,600 --> 00:36:19,120 So now you feel him more than like you just know his presence 743 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:21,200 is there because you experienced the life without him. 744 00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,880 You knew it was what it was like to walk through life without 745 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,480 him. So now when you're on this side, 746 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,680 you're like, wow, I really can do hard things. 747 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,360 I can get through anything that comes my way because now I have 748 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,440 this, you know, and that's something that can never be 749 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,880 taken from you. And it's just truly a gift. 750 00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,480 But when you said that earlier, I was like, there's so many 751 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:42,480 people that haven't experienced his presence yet. 752 00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:46,400 And when they do that, without a shadow of a doubt, you'll know 753 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,920 when you're in the presence of the Lord, you know. 754 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,120 You know, we've talked about it before and when you, when you 755 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:58,320 share God with others, if they're an atheist or whatever, 756 00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,240 or they just don't believe or they're going through something, 757 00:37:00,240 --> 00:37:02,680 a lot of times they don't want to hear all the, they don't want 758 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,360 to hear about the Bible. You know, they don't believe it 759 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,600 anyway. They don't want to hear about 760 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,880 all that stuff. Your experiences speak a lot 761 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,000 more, you know, and you see a lot in the Bible. 762 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,480 It's like, this is what I've done or like Jesus going up and 763 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,440 like, Hey, you know, you've had five husbands. 764 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:19,760 I know you're like, you're just speaking to the our experience 765 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,880 and stuff. And so those are very important. 766 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:27,280 But my job as a husband and as a father is to love is to to first 767 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:31,880 love God more than anybody else. And that and that she didn't 768 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,320 like that at first. I just. 769 00:37:33,400 --> 00:37:35,840 Like I couldn't relate. I didn't know what it was about. 770 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:39,360 Yeah, but it's like my job is to love God first, put him before 771 00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:43,200 anybody else, because if I do that, then I am better for them 772 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:47,440 and then love her just as much as just like Christ loves the 773 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,320 church and love her. And that again, not just like, 774 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,920 oh, I'm in love with you. No, it's love you. 775 00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:55,400 If I don't, I may not want to do this, but I'm going to do it 776 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,960 because I love you. I may not, you know, I choose to 777 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,960 love you and be a leader for her and for the kids. 778 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:05,760 And that is my job as my role. And I don't care. 779 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,040 And I'll tell you, I don't care if my kids grow up and tell me 780 00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,600 like, oh Daddy, I'm the president of the United States. 781 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:10,720 I don't care. Like, oh Daddy, I made 782 00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:13,320 $1,000,000. I don't care about all that. 783 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:17,760 What I care about is if they come to me and say Daddy sorry, 784 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:22,640 that just means a lot to me. But Daddy, I because because of 785 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,080 you, because of Mama, I have a bad relationship with Christ. 786 00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:28,760 That's what I care about. And I can tell you right now 787 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:33,520 it's, I mean, LB is a little too young, but down to the two year 788 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,040 old if you ask them who died for your sins, Jesus. 789 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:40,360 And that right there means more to me than anything else. 790 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:44,040 I don't care about the rest. And you know, and I pray about 791 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,840 us like God every every day. I pray, God, as I'm reading your 792 00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:51,320 word, as I'm praying, mold me into the man that you've called 793 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,200 me to be and mold me into the husband that you've called me to 794 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,400 be, bought me into the father that you've called me to be. 795 00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:01,560 And I don't want anything less. You know, I want to be, I don't 796 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:06,040 want to be average. I don't want to be just that, 797 00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,880 just a normal person. I want to be an excellent father 798 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,440 and I want to be an excellent husband. 799 00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:12,600 And I will work every single day to do that. 800 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,240 And, you know, I think the kids see that. 801 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,560 Yeah, and I like, I know for me, whenever I got divorced and and 802 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,360 then I started getting closer to God, like I just, I dealt with 803 00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:26,320 guilt for Oliver having to grow up and like a broken family. 804 00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:31,360 But then I realized, you know, everything that's happened with 805 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:35,520 Jane, I'm like, you can't keep your kids from having a 806 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,600 testimony. And if that's part of Oliver's 807 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,840 testimony, if that's part of Jane's testimony, I can't keep 808 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,840 that from happening. All I can do is show them in 809 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:51,360 those times when it is dark, let God be the light and just lean 810 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,400 on Him. Because that is something that 811 00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:56,640 has made my life infinitely better. 812 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:01,360 And I look at where we are now and where I was just six years 813 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,720 ago when we met. And I just cannot believe 814 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:07,240 everything that God has done in my life, and I can't believe I 815 00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:12,360 lived. 27 years without it. I know you know, what I was 816 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,480 going to say is we've talked a lot about Jade and Ollie, but 817 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:18,040 you know, you got a few others. So let's enter. 818 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:20,160 Let's let let let's give them a moment. 819 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:23,720 Let's talk about. So that we have Joshua, who is 820 00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:26,320 named for Joshua 19. No. 821 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,120 Well, so he's. Double name. 822 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,040 Yeah. So his name is Joshua Ezra 823 00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:34,400 Carlson and we call him Josh. We call him Joshie, but not like 824 00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,400 in the cute nickname. It's like, oh, Joshie, Joshie, 825 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,720 It's Josh E. So when I spell it, when I type 826 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:42,400 it out, it's Josh Space Capital E, Period. 827 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:47,080 So we got married in Joshua Tree, CA and then also he has 828 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,200 the verse Joshua. 19 My favorite verse. 829 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,960 Do not be afraid. Yeah, And I was reading the 830 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,640 story of Joshua and Caleb spying on the Canaanites. 831 00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:01,480 And I was very moved by their boldness and their trust in God 832 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:06,400 to say, while the other 10 or 11 people were saying, hey, we 833 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,480 don't need to go into there. We don't need to attack because 834 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,160 they're huge. They're massive. 835 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,920 And Josh and Caleb were like, no, we need to do this. 836 00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,120 We need to take it. And I told her, and I was like, 837 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,040 I think we need to name this baby Caleb. 838 00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,640 And she was like. My Caleb. 839 00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:23,160 And then I came up with Joshua and he said that was the other 840 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:24,400 side. Oh my gosh. 841 00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,640 And then so and then he has Joshua 19 tattoo on him. 842 00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,560 And then I was kind of like, OK, growing up as Jessica. 843 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,840 That name is just really regular and I don't know. 844 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:38,160 But then we were in church and Oliver was having a a moment and 845 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,440 some lady brought me a book. And it was like after I'd 846 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:42,960 shortly found out I was pregnant and the book was Joshua. 847 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:45,400 And I'm like, OK, like this name is Joshua. 848 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:50,520 So he's Joshua, Ezra, and then we had Meadow, Adela, and 849 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:54,920 Meadows is my mom's maiden name, and Adela is Sydney, my business 850 00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:56,160 partner's middle name. Stop. 851 00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:59,600 I did not know that. That is so special. 852 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,720 Wow. She's been there with me through 853 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,920 all of this and just supported me through every season, so 854 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:08,760 that's who she's named for. And then we had LB, which is 855 00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,680 little Brandon. Brandon Little Buddy Little boy 856 00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,240 little. Boy, little brother. 857 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,360 Yeah, little baby. So. 858 00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,080 I'm a little baby. So he's just LB and he's Brandon 859 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,240 Alexander Carlson Junior. Nice we. 860 00:42:22,720 --> 00:42:25,400 Have just been so blessed. Yeah, she didn't want, she 861 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:26,800 didn't want me to be have a junior. 862 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,000 He was gonna, he had a whole different name picked out. 863 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,440 And then right before I had this baby, I said that man, I got a 864 00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:35,440 name of this baby. Oh my God, If anybody deserves a 865 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:38,000 junior, it's my man. So are y'all gonna have more 866 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,520 children? She wants one more. 867 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,880 You don't want more. Don't want my parents here. 868 00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,560 That one I said the other day, Oh my gosh, she's just getting 869 00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:45,960 so big. And my dad's like, why do you 870 00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,880 say it like that? I'm like, because I just don't 871 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:49,040 want to grow up. He said please don't have 872 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,360 another baby and I'm OK if I don't. 873 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,560 I'm good with not. I'm happy with my five. 874 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:58,520 I don't know what's wrong with me, but baby fever lives within 875 00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,680 me. And I'll tell you what, that 876 00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,400 doctor was wrong. I can still have babies, still 877 00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,640 have kids. And that is point proven, yeah, 878 00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:07,520 yeah. I touch her when we get 879 00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,000 pregnant, I. Know think about a baby and 880 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,800 maybe we be getting pregnant. All right, well as we begin to 881 00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,680 close, is there anything else that maybe y'all want to hit or 882 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:20,200 say or maybe advice? The big thing for me now, and 883 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,280 I'm not perfect, obviously, I know that there's a lot of 884 00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:27,720 things that I have done and struggled with, but a real 885 00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:33,880 passion for me is husbands and men because I think that our 886 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,000 country lacks godly male leadership. 887 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:42,800 And I want to do what I can to change that Because obviously we 888 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,600 see, you know, there's a lot of broken families and there's a 889 00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,480 lot of fathers that are not in the home and that negatively 890 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,080 effects kids and generations afterward. 891 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:55,640 And so I want to do what I can to change that and to bring 892 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,760 fathers back to the home men families. 893 00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,000 And, and I'm, I'm very passionate about the the male 894 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:06,760 side of that and helping guys be the leaders they were post 895 00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:09,640 they're supposed to be and leaders for the kids and people 896 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,920 that their kids can look up to. And so, I mean, if, if you're a 897 00:44:13,920 --> 00:44:17,480 guy out there and, and that's you, you know, you in a broken 898 00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:20,720 relationship and you're a single dad or whatever, you know, and 899 00:44:20,720 --> 00:44:22,280 you may not be living the way you should be. 900 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:27,200 Hey, I'm open, come talk to me. I, I just want to hear, I want 901 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:32,880 to help people and I want to help guys be who they're called 902 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:35,120 to be. And I, you know, I ain't going 903 00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:37,040 to condemn anybody. I ain't going to judge anybody. 904 00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:40,160 I just want you to love Jesus and I want you to love your kids 905 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:44,040 and be a good dad and husband. I would just say the same thing 906 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:48,440 for any, any of my girls that have just found their identity 907 00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,000 and, and what other people think of them or mistakes that they've 908 00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,880 made. Like, please just sit that down. 909 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,480 Because the peace that you will feel when you give that over to 910 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,640 God and just start to see yourself the way that he sees 911 00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,160 you is something that's so indescribable. 912 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:06,360 And you know, I still struggle at times with those things 913 00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,080 because we are human and we'll never be perfect in that way 914 00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,520 either. But God is love and and you will 915 00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:15,480 never fill that void with anything in this world except 916 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:16,440 for His love. So. 917 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:18,960 That's good. All right, guys. 918 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,880 Well, this has been absolutely incredible. 919 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,720 This whole story. You can truly see where God has 920 00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:25,280 just moved in both of your lives. 921 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:30,080 Like truly to watch you grow from not a relationship, not 922 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:33,640 even really seeking God in any way to then blossoming and 923 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,680 coming on this podcast and just spitting scripture and just 924 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:39,000 talking about the love of God and everything is just been 925 00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:40,920 incredible to witness your journey. 926 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,840 And Brandon, I didn't really know you before, but it's been 927 00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:47,080 awesome to, you know, just experience you loving Jess and 928 00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,320 y'all's relationship together and your beautiful family. 929 00:45:50,040 --> 00:45:52,480 So guys, thank you so much for being here. 930 00:45:52,720 --> 00:45:53,400 This has been. Great. 931 00:45:53,440 --> 00:45:55,480 Absolutely appreciate you inviting us on here. 932 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:56,520 Yes. Absolutely. 933 00:45:56,600 --> 00:45:59,000 All right, guys, Stay tuned, Stay blessed and we'll see you 934 00:45:59,000 --> 00:45:59,600 guys later.