1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,080 What's up guys, my name is Alexis, your host with praises 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,480 in the pod, and I'm so excited to be here with Stephanie Reeves 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,080 today. You know, we're going to be 4 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:11,600 talking about her testimony and what God has done in her life. 5 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:13,920 We are going to start off in prayer and then we're going to 6 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,080 jump right in. So here we go. 7 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:18,560 Lord, Heavenly Father, just thank you for today and all of 8 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,520 your many blessings. Dear God, thank you for 9 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:24,040 Stephanie and her willingness to be able to come and share what 10 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:27,440 you have done in her life. And we just pray that you speak 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,680 to us and through US today and let this episode glorify you. 12 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,240 In Jesus name I pray, Amen, Amen. 13 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:36,600 So here we go, let's get started. 14 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,240 So start us out. I always ask, you know a little 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:41,040 bit about your childhood. Let's start there. 16 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:45,720 All right, I was raised by my stepdad and my mom. 17 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,440 I call him Dad because that's pretty much the only dad I knew. 18 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:55,080 My real father kind of left, I guess, might as well say right 19 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:58,960 around time I was born. So my stepdad I feel like is my 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,640 dad. So I had a really great 21 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,000 childhood. My parents are great, very 22 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,080 supportive, was always at all my stuff. 23 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,120 As far as church, yeah, Mom would take me and my sister, so 24 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,800 I wouldn't say it was consistent. 25 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,080 And we went to a couple of different churches, but I 26 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,800 wouldn't say that we were, you know, faithfully going to church 27 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,800 all the time. Yeah, but I get that. 28 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:27,520 And I love how you, I didn't know that you were more so 29 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,800 raised by your stepdad. And this morning at like 4, AMI 30 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:34,040 woke up and I just wanted to like, pray for my dad and my, my 31 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:37,400 stepdad specifically. I just like, he didn't have to, 32 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,720 but he did. Yeah, those men that step up and 33 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:43,640 just help raise children that aren't biologically theirs and 34 00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:46,480 they end up loving them just as just as much, you know. 35 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:49,080 But I don't know, just when you said that, I was like, wow, I 36 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,560 woke up. So just just thankful this 37 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:53,880 morning for my dad. Yeah. 38 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,080 Because he has another daughter. But you would never have guessed 39 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:59,640 that we were not. Me and my sister were his 40 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,640 children. Yes, I had a great, great 41 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,000 father. Love that. 42 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,560 So just moving on up in life, you're kind of in and out of 43 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:10,320 church, but not really going to church or have a relationship 44 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,480 with Christ. No. 45 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 So tell us a little bit about high school. 46 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,000 Maybe jump to you and Chris getting together your husband. 47 00:02:17,120 --> 00:02:21,040 Well, in high school, I got saved in high school. 48 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,000 I kind of go back and forth with that because the way I got 49 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,800 saved, I was with a boyfriend and it was kind of more of a you 50 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,280 have to be saved. You have to be saved. 51 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:36,280 If you're not saved and you die, this is what's going to happen. 52 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:39,000 And so it was more of a fearful kind of save. 53 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:44,000 So sometimes I'm kind of like, yeah, you know, I said the 54 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,960 prayer later on in life, too, but that was the first time I 55 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,960 did it. But I feel like it was more, it 56 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,120 wasn't for the right reason, I guess you could say. 57 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:58,120 But I graduated and me and Chris got together. 58 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,760 Six months later, we were married. 59 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:00,680 It was. Wow. 60 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,240 It was very quick. And, you know, you know, yes, 61 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,600 I'd have to say it was kind of hard for my parents because I 62 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,080 was 18 years old. He was six years older than me. 63 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,240 So of course, he was already teaching. 64 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,600 He's a teacher and a coach. He was already teaching. 65 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:16,360 He was coaching. He was established. 66 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,360 But we got married and then six months later, we moved to 67 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,200 Thomasville. Wow. 68 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,280 Bang, bang, bang. Yeah. 69 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:27,840 So the by then I turned 19, I was 19, moved away from my my 70 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,600 family, living in a town. Like I said, Chris is coaching 71 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:34,080 football. He's coaching baseball in South 72 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,320 Georgia. So he was gone, you might as 73 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,760 well say every day of the week. I mean, he practiced Monday 74 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,040 through Thursday. They played games on Friday, 75 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,800 Saturday they were in Albany, GA scouting. 76 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,240 Sunday we were doing a coaches meeting. 77 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,360 So it wow. But I became a parapro when we 78 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:56,080 moved there and I actually changed my major to education. 79 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,520 I was going to be physical therapist, OK. 80 00:03:58,560 --> 00:04:02,760 So completely changed my major that worked during the day and 81 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:04,760 went to school at night. So I was pretty busy too. 82 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:09,320 So, you know, we were kind of had to, I don't know, maybe 83 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:12,040 didn't see each other, just had to be very intentional about 84 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,520 when we could spend time together. 85 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:14,640 Yeah. I mean, I sometimes went 86 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:17,560 scouting with them on a Saturday just so I spend time with one. 87 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,720 Other. Our one year anniversary was 88 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:24,400 very comical was spent. He was teaching me formations 89 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,400 because I was helping him breakdown film. 90 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,480 Oh, so very, very memorable. Kind of tells a little bit about 91 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,480 our. The football family started 92 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,920 then, yes. Absolutely. 93 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:39,640 Lots of fun. Yes, Chris had been raised. 94 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,600 He had went to church. He might have went to church a 95 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,360 little bit more than I did. But the soon, you know, when we 96 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,160 got married, we were just kind of the same. 97 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:50,920 We went to maybe more church, maybe on a holiday type thing. 98 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,360 We still were not consistent churchgoers. 99 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,760 So y'all were together quite a quite a few years before you 100 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,000 have your first daughter? Yeah, Elizabeth. 101 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,000 So I think it was. Six years, she said 6. 102 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,520 Years. OK, so tell us a little bit 103 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:05,040 about that. Like were y'all ready to start a 104 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,640 family or how did that? Yes, I think so. 105 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,640 I had gotten pregnant before Elizabeth and had a miscarriage 106 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,320 very early, very early. Like I think I was 5 and have 107 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,600 six weeks. And so that was kind of, it was 108 00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:21,480 a surprise for us. So we was kind of like, oh, but 109 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,920 then after we lost, lost the, the baby, I was kind of like, 110 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,960 maybe I am ready, you know, to have a have a child. 111 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:33,880 So we got pregnant and we had Elizabeth, my mom had come down 112 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,640 to stay with us. And I remember thinking she left 113 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,000 a week later on a Saturday. And I remember looking at Chris 114 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,680 saying what what am I supposed to do with her on Monday? 115 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,520 And I said, are you going to stay with me? 116 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,440 And he was like, no. And I thought, you're going to 117 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,960 leave me here with her. I was scared, so scared. 118 00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:58,040 And it's crazy to think about because 4 1/2 weeks later he 119 00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:01,880 left and took a job in Macon County and I was in Thomasville 120 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,160 by myself with her. So if somebody had told me that, 121 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,320 then I don't know what I would have. 122 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,040 Yeah, it was just so crazy. He's well, you know, there's 123 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,440 just so many times we're so scared, like, what's going to 124 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,920 happen, whatever. But we are fully equipped. 125 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,520 Yeah. But we just don't think that 126 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:21,040 about ourselves at all. I did not because he left and I 127 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:25,040 had about two weeks before I went back to work. 128 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,360 And at that time I was coaching too. 129 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,040 I was coaching middle school track. 130 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:32,280 And so I had a friend that would come over and keep Elizabeth 131 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:36,440 while I was at track practice. And so it was crazy until the 132 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,160 end of the year, and then, you know, we moved. 133 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,880 What's the age difference between Catherine and Elizabeth? 134 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:45,360 Two years, 26 days. Oh, wow, they're very close. 135 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:49,200 Say, all right, so then you have Catherine. 136 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,520 We're trying to get. We're getting a rhythm. 137 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,080 That right, I have Catherine. But you know, we're in Macon 138 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,480 County then. So, you know, totally different 139 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,560 place, but closer to my parents. You know, they could, you know, 140 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:02,520 get there about 3540 minutes. So that was nice. 141 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,680 But we had Catherine. Shortly after I had Catherine, 142 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,080 we moved to. Albany moving. 143 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:11,640 Just moving. Coaching is a lot like military. 144 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,360 You know, you move around, swap schools. 145 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,680 You know, like Chris likes to say, your job is kind of in the 146 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,800 hands of high schoolers. Yeah, it can be a little scary 147 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:23,960 sometimes. But anyways, we were in Albany. 148 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,960 We only stayed there a year and while we were there Chris was 149 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,320 coaching and getting his six year specialist degree. 150 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,360 Yes. What does in this point of 151 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,480 y'all's life, what does church and your relationship with God 152 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:38,840 look like? No. 153 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,520 Yeah. No, I would say very 154 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,520 nonexistent. You're just on like copilot, 155 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,160 just coasting. Yes, Yeah. 156 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:47,480 You know, maybe going to him when you have a problem who 157 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,240 needs some help. Yeah, but not a everyday 158 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:55,560 consistent thing at all. Yeah, so after Catherine, you do 159 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,040 get pregnant again. I do talk to a little bit about. 160 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,200 That Yeah, well, I actually got pregnant, pregnant and about two 161 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,440 years late, two years after Catherine because we had really 162 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,560 had planned like you can plan this, but anyways, we had 163 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:15,880 planned like every two years. And so I about 13 weeks lost 164 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:21,680 another another child. And so after that took us a 165 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,480 while to get pregnant. This was the first time we had 166 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,760 ever had difficulty. You know, usually when we wanted 167 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,000 to try, we got pregnant. So I had some difficulty there, 168 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,200 finally got pregnant, and it was really crazy. 169 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:38,000 We were fixing to go in, have an ultrasound, and I'd had a dream 170 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,360 that we were having twins. Wow. 171 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,280 And I remember thinking, well, that's pretty crazy. 172 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:45,280 Whatever. We get there and we are pregnant 173 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,200 with twins. And I was like, oh, my goodness. 174 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,840 I know. Did you already tell Chris that 175 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:51,720 you had this dream, too? I bet he was like, yeah, it was. 176 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,160 It was crazy, crazy. So here we are pregnant with 177 00:08:56,160 --> 00:09:00,200 twins, you know, thinking, OK, you know, Chris had already said 178 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,200 something about four. I was like, OK, we'll be done. 179 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,640 You know, this will be, yeah, this will be it. 180 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:10,200 So everything's pretty good, you know, nothing, nothing terrible 181 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:14,480 about the pregnancy at all. At our twenty week ultrasound, 182 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,600 we go in and they call me back and they're like, hey, you know, 183 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,600 they call them Twin A and Twin B. 184 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:24,640 They were like twin B We just didn't get a good measurement. 185 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,240 We don't think anything's wrong. We just couldn't see what we 186 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,840 wanted to see on our ultrasound machine. 187 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,280 We want to send you to a specialist because their 188 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,080 ultrasound machine's much better. 189 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,920 OK, Didn't get in till about 23 1/2 weeks. 190 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,120 Still didn't think anything about it. 191 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:46,800 We went, we're laying there, the lady comes in and I kind of look 192 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,920 at Chris's face and can tell something's not right. 193 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,600 Well, she immediately turns everything off and she's like, 194 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,440 you're going to need to go back to your doctor's office and I'm 195 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:57,840 like, what's wrong? You know, I know say something 196 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,200 writing down something obviously is wrong. 197 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,160 And she's like, no, you really need to go back to see your, 198 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,720 your doctor. And so me and Chris get in the 199 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,040 car, we drive back, you know, to my doctor. 200 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,600 And I think he knew, I think he saw that we didn't really say 201 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,280 anything. So we go in there and we, we 202 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,920 learn that they're, they've, they're both gone. 203 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:23,160 And so we're just, you know, in shock, you know, they come in 204 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:24,840 and they say, well, you know, you got, you're going to have to 205 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,760 come in and deliver them. You know, we didn't really ask a 206 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,280 lot of questions about the process and all that. 207 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:36,520 We were just very just numb. So they tell us we got to go 208 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:41,800 back to the hospital the next morning and we go back and I 209 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,040 don't even remember that night. I mean, I do remember that 210 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,200 night. I mean, I feel crazy because I 211 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,600 mean, actually in the middle of the night, I wake Chris up and 212 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,480 like, I think I actually feel them moving. 213 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,760 I mean, it's crazy. You know, it's crazy what your 214 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:57,000 mind will allow you to think. But of course they weren't. 215 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:02,600 So we get up the next morning, we go to the hospital and check 216 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:07,320 in and they start the the stuff to try to start the process. 217 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,480 You know, I did not. We had no idea it would take so 218 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,600 long. So we went in on that morning 219 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:15,920 about maybe 7. We didn't actually have them to 220 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:19,480 the next day around one. Oh, wow, that's a long time. 221 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:23,840 It's a very long process. It yes, it was very long. 222 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:28,560 Do you think that like because that's very heavy to deal with 223 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,800 and not deal with. I hate to say it that way, but 224 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,120 you know, to go through, go through, that's what I want to 225 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,760 say. Do you think that that was a big 226 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:39,600 turning point in y'all's marriage or do y'all feel like, 227 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:42,600 or do you feel like you more so started leaning on one another? 228 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:45,600 Just I go to say that because later down the road our 229 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:47,280 listeners will find out something else. 230 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:51,720 So do you think that that, you know, maybe played into some of 231 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,480 that too, like that time period? Yeah. 232 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:59,280 Well, yes, at first that was my worry. 233 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,640 I thought, will we make it through this? 234 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,720 This is this is huge. Will we make it through this? 235 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,840 Because this just devastated Chris. 236 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:12,320 I mean, I devastated him. We ended up, it was twin boys, 237 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,480 you know, football coach. Of course he loves his girls. 238 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,800 He loves them, loves them, loves them. 239 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,360 But, you know, he'd always wanted boys. 240 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:22,160 So it was very hard for him. And I mean, I watched him 241 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,760 crumble and I was like, had never seen that before. 242 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:30,240 So I was like, oh, wow. So I'm going to have to kind of 243 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:35,960 step it up a little bit here. A week later after this 244 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,760 happened, he lost a baseball player in a car accident. 245 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:44,280 And so here we are again, you know, a week later and he's 246 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,920 trying to deal with that. You know, we had been trying to 247 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:51,040 deal with the with the loss of the twins when we got home from 248 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,800 the hospital. I just remember it was just, I 249 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,880 mean, I couldn't even think about something that was going 250 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,560 to happen in two or three hours. I couldn't think about the next 251 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,400 day. All I could just think about was 252 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:05,680 just right then and there. It was so hard. 253 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:10,320 I mean, you know, the girls were four and two at the time. 254 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:16,160 You know, my parents were always helping us and when they were at 255 00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,520 the Elizabeth was in school, Catherine, you know, we would 256 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,120 write get up and go to my parents house when Chris was at 257 00:13:22,120 --> 00:13:24,920 work just because just didn't want to be at the house. 258 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:30,480 But it was a very hard time. You would think that that might 259 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:33,760 have been a time we would have might try to lean into God a 260 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,840 little bit more, but we did not that that would have probably 261 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,360 been the better choice, but. During that time that you were 262 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:43,440 mad at God. I mean, I did ask why. 263 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,520 Yeah. Because, I mean, you know, I had 264 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,520 felt like I'd already lost two other children. 265 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,360 I mean, and the second miscarriage, I had to end up 266 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,960 having an emergency DNC. It started happening at our 267 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:57,080 house in the middle of the night, so we had to give up. 268 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,920 So, I mean, I thought, you know, I've already had. 269 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:03,280 Why is this happening? So of course, I mean, yes, I 270 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:06,560 hate to say I did, but I did. Didn't really understand it. 271 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,240 You do. I have some more children 272 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:09,760 though. Yes, so. 273 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,520 Well, I do have more children. Yes, I do. 274 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:18,000 Y'all are the baby buds. Yes, Chris was pretty much done. 275 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,640 He really did not want any more children. 276 00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,160 I really did. Yeah. 277 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,600 So we were kind of like at odds at that. 278 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,720 And I was like, you know, just one more, just one more, you 279 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,840 know, we can do this. So, you know, I finally talked 280 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,840 him into it. We did get pregnant again. 281 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:38,120 And we had another loss very early, very early, like 6 weeks. 282 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,960 Oh, wow. So I was like, oh, he's not 283 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,320 going to want to do this again. He's not going to want to do 284 00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:47,440 this again. But we did, we got pregnant and 285 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:52,480 we had Nicholas. And so around after Nicholas was 286 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:56,120 born, we kind of started going to a church, kind of started 287 00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:00,040 getting involved in a church. You know, I actually started 288 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,600 volunteering. It was my first time sitting in 289 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:06,240 a church and I hate to say this, actually paying attention. 290 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,800 Most of my church in my life had been, I went, but I didn't 291 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,560 really pay attention. Like my mind would just wander. 292 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:19,680 And I mean, honestly, if I'm going to be honest, I wasn't 293 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,120 getting anything out of it. So it really wasn't meaning 294 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,320 anything to me. So this was the first time going 295 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,760 to a church, sitting there, actually getting some meaning 296 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:30,520 and learning a little bit, you know? 297 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,520 Like feeling like you're hearing from God. 298 00:15:32,600 --> 00:15:35,000 There was a process. You know, I had not really felt 299 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,960 that before. So that was good. 300 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,880 That was a good, good point in our life. 301 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,520 You know, we needed that. We had the kids in church 302 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:45,880 because, you know, here we were our third child and we weren't 303 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,440 really doing what we should be doing as parents either. 304 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,320 Our kids being. Did Josh have a conversation 305 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:55,040 more so about it or like what was the turning point of like, 306 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:59,840 let's go try out this church? Actually, I worked with the, it 307 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,840 was a startup church. So I actually worked with the 308 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,320 lady. She was at my school. 309 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,000 She was a parapro. And so, you know, hearing about 310 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,960 it now, I thought, well, let's let's give it a try. 311 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:11,360 Yeah, you know, And so it just really clicked for us. 312 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,360 And like I said, for me, it was the first time that I was like, 313 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,840 oh, this is this is what church is about. 314 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,680 This is what you're supposed to do, you know, you're, you know. 315 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,360 So it was good. I love that because I mean, just 316 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,760 probably in passing you hear talking about it and then that's 317 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,000 a seed that was planted and probably you're like, you know 318 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,480 what, let me give it a try. Yes. 319 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,080 So it's like really something that we should be doing. 320 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:35,120 Like don't just sit on your hands and keep your mouth shut. 321 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,200 Like talk about your faith, talk about your church, be able to 322 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,560 tell people. I mean, you don't always have to 323 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:45,640 invite, but just talking about it will spark an interest, yeah. 324 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,960 Yeah. And so, you know, we're moving 325 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,360 along. I'm thinking we are a family of 326 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,760 five. This is great. 327 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,600 You know, this is this is what we need to be. 328 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,520 Chris is like, we really let's have another one. 329 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:01,080 I'm like, no, he's he had always said I do not want an odd number 330 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,840 of children. And I'm like what I. 331 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:05,000 Don't, just in case you go to Disney World and y'all love 332 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,079 Disney is that. I mean, I'm like, I don't even 333 00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:09,880 understand. 3 is fine. No, they all need to have their 334 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,359 own. It's fine. 335 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:15,760 Well, God had other plans and we had our little We got pregnant 336 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,839 with our surprise. I like to call him my surprise 337 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:21,200 baby because he keeps surprising me all throughout life. 338 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:27,319 He still does so very ashamed to say this, but I was not very 339 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:32,680 excited about this pregnancy. It took me months to come to 340 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:34,000 grips. It took me a while to tell my 341 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,560 parents because, you know, here I was. 342 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,840 I thought I was done. And I guess I'd just say when we 343 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,200 moved back here, they've always kept my children. 344 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,760 So, you know, I see why I'd kind of been telling them, you know, 345 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:47,800 this was going to be it. And then they were going to be 346 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,800 free. You know, they love my children. 347 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,520 But, yeah, then they were going to be able to travel and go and 348 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,040 do. And so I was like, oh, I was 349 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,960 like, we've got to tell them there's another one coming. 350 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,760 Yeah, so we did. Well, in this, like I was 351 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,400 telling you a little bit earlier, like sometimes we 352 00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,120 always think as soon as we get pregnant, we feel like we have 353 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,880 to be excited and sometimes like we want children, of course, but 354 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,560 like it's scary, you know, pregnancies, you know, sometimes 355 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:19,000 harder and stuff like that. And so it's just refreshing to 356 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,320 hear like maybe women that are listening right now, they're 357 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,880 like, I felt like that when I found out I was pregnant. 358 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,240 And so it's just refreshing to hear like. 359 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,840 You're not alone. Yeah, maybe I'm like, Chris was 360 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:29,760 ecstatic. Yeah. 361 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,520 So excited, so happy. I can remember when we found 362 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:35,320 out. I can remember being at dinner 363 00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,040 that night. He's just so excited. 364 00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:42,640 And I'm just like, OK, I'm, I'm eventually going to get there. 365 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,200 It's just going to take a little bit of time. 366 00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:47,840 For me. This pregnancy was so hard. 367 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,480 All my other pregnancies were so good. 368 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,640 I mean, I didn't even understand what people were talking about a 369 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,840 bad pregnancy. I'm like, oh, whatever, it's not 370 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:57,320 that bad. You know, this one was bad. 371 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,480 They thought I had walking pneumonia when I was very, very, 372 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,560 very early on. I was so sick. 373 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:08,080 Then he sat on my sciatic nerve so I was in constant pain and so 374 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:12,000 I can remember teaching pre-K at the time and this is crazy. 375 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,360 When they napped I would have to lay on the ground for about 2530 376 00:19:15,360 --> 00:19:18,600 minutes just horizontal too just so I could get up and make it 377 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,080 through the rest of my day because it was always so 378 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,600 painful. Let during that time also Chris 379 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:29,560 got a kidney stone and it was a big kidney stone. 380 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,600 He ended up with three surgeries. 381 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,400 Wow. Before it was, you know, it was 382 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:36,800 out. Yeah, it was passed. 383 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,000 So it was, it was very, very hard. 384 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,360 Wow. And yeah, Nicholas, Alexander 385 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,440 and Nicholas are only 22 months apart. 386 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,560 So he was still really young when all this was going on. 387 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,920 Actually, Nick, Chris's last surgery was like a week before 388 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,480 Alexander was born. So it was very long drawn out 389 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,720 process. So we get to the end with 390 00:19:56,720 --> 00:20:00,480 Alexander that it I mean, crazy pregnancy, crazy delivery. 391 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,880 I mean, I thought my water had broke and I go to the hospital 392 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,920 and they're like, no, that that your water did not break. 393 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,440 And so I thought, well, maybe I wet on myself, but I was so 394 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,280 embarrassed going to the hospital and them sending me 395 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,000 home. I was like, this is my 4th kid. 396 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,440 I should know better. So I go to work the next day. 397 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,200 I am doing the calendar with my pre-K kids and I feel like a 398 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,480 trickle going down and I'm like whatever this is not my water 399 00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,320 breaking. I looked at them. 400 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:32,400 I said I'm going home to change clothes and I'll be back. 401 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,480 We were going on a field trip to the bowling alley. 402 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,280 Oh fun. And so I said you though. 403 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,800 I said I'll be back. Well, I get home and I start 404 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:42,520 hurting really bad and I'm like, no, I'm not doing this. 405 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:46,320 So I called Chris and he's like, it sounds like you might be 406 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,400 crying a little bit. And I'm like, well, a little 407 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,960 bit. He said, are you in that much 408 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,920 pain? And I'm like, I mean, I'm 409 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,640 hurting pretty good. And he said, when you go to the 410 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,360 hospital and I'm like, no, I'm not going up there and then turn 411 00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:59,200 me back. He said, well then let's go to 412 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,920 the doctor's office. So we go to the doctor's office 413 00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:05,200 and then he the doctor looks at me. 414 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,440 He says, well, you can have him here or we can have him at the 415 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,640 hospital. If you want to have him at the 416 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,720 hospital, we got to go. Now. 417 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:14,920 You're like 6 centimeters. And I said, oh, my goodness. 418 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,320 So we get to the hospital. And from the time they put the 419 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,760 IV in, he was born like 40 minutes later. 420 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:22,920 Wow. Now, I will say that's probably 421 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,000 the best way to have a kid. It was fast. 422 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,720 Yeah, it was a quick. It was nice. 423 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,520 So we have Alexander. So now I'm like, we're done. 424 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,560 We have four children. We're we're completely finished. 425 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,160 So, you know, yeah, life's pretty good. 426 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:37,240 That's good. We're going to church. 427 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,720 You know, I told you, we've kind of gotten plugged in there. 428 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,120 And then I finally decided to be baptized. 429 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,120 And so, you know, I go, I get baptized. 430 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,640 Here's another thing that I'm kind of like, this is crazy to 431 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:54,440 say in my mind, I kept thinking I'm going to get baptized and 432 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,440 everything's just going to be a transformation. 433 00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,640 My whole life is just going to completely change, which I sit 434 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,920 here now and think, and I know some people don't think this is 435 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,800 crazy. You, you get what you put into 436 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,040 things. And I know that I was raised 437 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,880 that way. I don't know what in my in my 438 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:14,240 mind why I thought that. So here we go. 439 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,000 I get baptized and I really don't see that much life change. 440 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,480 So, but we still continue to go to church. 441 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:24,520 But you know, Alexander's getting a little bit older. 442 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,400 He's hitting his milestones. You know, he's sitting up, he's 443 00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:31,640 crawling, he's walking, rolling over, all that good stuff. 444 00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,160 But he just never really says anything. 445 00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,840 So we kind of worried about it. But we weren't too worried 446 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,200 because my mom said you were a late talker. 447 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,040 She said you would do all this pointing and your older sister 448 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,760 would be, like, grabbing everything for you. 449 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,160 She said, I remember the pediatrician telling me make her 450 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,760 talk. So I was like, OK, there's not 451 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,280 anything, you know, there's not anything there. 452 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,000 Plus, Nicholas had turned 4. Alexander was 2. 453 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,440 Nicholas was fixing to go off to school. 454 00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,840 And so my parents were like, OK, he goes off to school. 455 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:07,160 It's going to be us, too. And Alexander, surely, you know, 456 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,320 he'll start talking because Nicholas was quite a little ham 457 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,960 when he was younger. You know, my parents live in 458 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:16,120 live in a neighborhood where it was a lot of older people. 459 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,840 So I mean, everybody owed and awed over him. 460 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,240 So he just ate it up. He loved. 461 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,800 That's where that intention, Yeah, he loves it. 462 00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:27,480 So yes, so he just ate that up. So we're like, you know, he goes 463 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:30,360 off to school and now it's just going to be Alexander. 464 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:35,400 And so we started seeing a lot of him like he was, he's always 465 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,800 a loner, never really played with, you know, Alex with 466 00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:40,640 Nicholas, just kind of kept to himself. 467 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:45,880 But he saw no danger, no danger. And in my mind, I'm like, OK, 468 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,000 he's a boy. So maybe that's just part of the 469 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:51,840 whole boy thing, 'cause I have a sister, no boys in our family. 470 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,440 But then he was, he would like, you had to really watch him 471 00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,240 'cause he would walk off. Like I said, no, he had no 472 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:03,160 danger walk off from you. It didn't bother him to walk 473 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,040 off. So, you know, there were some 474 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,160 things there that we were concerned about. 475 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:11,120 Well, Nicholas went to school. He still really wasn't talking a 476 00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,720 lot. And we started seeing, I would 477 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,080 call him more meltdowns, you know, no communication. 478 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,400 It's not like he could tell us what the problem was. 479 00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:21,640 He was so frustrated. So, you know, we're having 480 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,760 meltdowns. We're screaming, crying, 481 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:29,080 kicking, all kinds of stuff. And so we had a friend then that 482 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,080 kind of told us about Babies Can't Wait. 483 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,400 And so we got in, we got into Babies Can't Wait. 484 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:37,200 They started some speech, they started some OT. 485 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,160 And it's around this time where me and Chris are really grown 486 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,000 apart. I mean, really grown apart. 487 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,520 We're doing a lot of, you know, arguing. 488 00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:48,360 We're just, we're not really talking anymore. 489 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,640 We're just, it's almost like we're just kind of just going 490 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:51,920 opposite direction. Yeah. 491 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:56,640 So it was getting kind of bad. And so Alexander was taking up a 492 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,760 lot of time. I mean, he just needed constant 493 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,480 eyes on him. You couldn't keep your eyes off 494 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,440 him. You know, it's hard to take him 495 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,280 out somewhere because if you did, you had to have him 496 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,800 strapped down somewhere because you were fearful that he was 497 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,520 going to walk off or leave or something. 498 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,640 So it was hard, you know, it was hard to have the other three and 499 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,920 it's hard to have him because you're trying to balance your 500 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,200 time with all them. So Elizabeth is 6 years older 501 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:26,320 than Is it 6? 11 Let's say yes 7. 502 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:27,400 OK. Yes. 503 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:29,760 So I mean, those are all very young. 504 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,960 You know, kids. No, actually, Elizabeth is 9, 505 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,680 OK. And Catherine's seven years 506 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,760 older than Kath than Alexander. OK. 507 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:41,560 But still, I mean, under 10, four kids under 10, that seems 508 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,680 like a lot. And then, you know, with what 509 00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,400 you're doing, I ain't using the word dealing with like, I mean, 510 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,960 I did just sounds negative. I don't mean it to be, but like 511 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,880 what you're going through with Alexander and just trying to 512 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,080 figure that out. I'm sure that's making a big 513 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:02,480 strain on your marriage a lot. And with coaching and teaching 514 00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,440 and everything else, it's just piling on so. 515 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,320 And Chris had moved to middle school instead of high school 516 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:14,040 and, and that was hard for him. He did not enjoy middle school. 517 00:26:14,120 --> 00:26:17,840 He was home a little bit more, but he did not enjoy the whole 518 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:21,960 middle school model, you know, the the coach and the kids and 519 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,040 all that. He really, he really is high 520 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,160 school. He wanted to go back to high 521 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,120 school. And so that was kind of hard. 522 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:30,040 He was going through a lot. I was going through a lot. 523 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,720 We're trying to figure out with Alexander. 524 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,520 We still didn't really know. We had not got his diagnosis 525 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,240 yet. That comes a little bit later. 526 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,880 But with all that, we kind of stopped going to that church, 527 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,920 you know, So that was not a good thing at all. 528 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,600 But we did start going to another church, some friends of 529 00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,640 ours. And so we did start going to 530 00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,240 that church. You know, I think it was more 531 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,000 because some friends were there. I don't know if it was quite the 532 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,440 right fit for all of us, but, you know, we were. 533 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,440 I think we were. We were going, but I don't know 534 00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:02,880 if we were going for the right reason. 535 00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,120 Yeah. Maybe we're going for social 536 00:27:04,120 --> 00:27:05,040 hours. Yes. 537 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,200 I hate to say that. Yeah. 538 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,600 That's exactly what it was. And so wasn't getting as much 539 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,600 out of it. But we were in church. 540 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:15,320 The kids were in church. So that was, you know. 541 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,800 Yeah. You know, they knew some other 542 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,120 kids around their age actually knew people there. 543 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:24,840 But as Alexander started getting a little bit older, it was hard 544 00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:28,040 to take him to church. And so then I finally made the 545 00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:31,480 decision, you know, that me and Chris, it just we were not going 546 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,920 to work. We were not going to survive. 547 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:36,120 So here we. Go. 548 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,200 Thank you. So I made the decision that we 549 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,560 should separate. Maybe. 550 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:46,480 Was it just like it was there a final straw or kind of just one 551 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,840 day you woke up and was like, I don't want to live like this? 552 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:50,440 Yeah, I just, I didn't. Want to live like this anymore. 553 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,040 I just didn't think it was healthy for the kids. 554 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:57,920 We were arguing all the time, so he didn't want to, but I did. 555 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:02,160 So I ended up going and staying with my parents for a while. 556 00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,840 And so he kept saying no. And I, I mean, I just got in my 557 00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,680 mind we, I was not going to do this anymore. 558 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,680 You know, I, I just know, 'cause we had, we had done a little bit 559 00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:15,440 of counseling, but we didn't go to a Christian counselor. 560 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:20,680 We just went to a counselor. So I was like, it's not working. 561 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,520 I just cannot do all this arguing this fighting and still 562 00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,560 trying to deal with Alexander. And so we did, we separated, we 563 00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:34,280 ended up getting a divorce. And so Chris went on his little 564 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,280 path of he started going to church. 565 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,000 I mean, he was reading his Bible. 566 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,480 I mean, I was actually seeing some changes in him, but just to 567 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,080 I was like, no, you know, we're just not good together. 568 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,440 You know, maybe we're just better apart. 569 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,200 But the church that we were going to, me and the kids were 570 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,560 going to continue that one. But like I said, it was a small 571 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,400 church. They couldn't handle Alexander, 572 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,640 you know, they couldn't. And I don't fault them for that, 573 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,480 you know, because you had to have your eyes on him, you know. 574 00:29:04,840 --> 00:29:07,400 So we were going to church and ended up on the playground. 575 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:12,120 So here's Alexander swinging, and here comes Catherine, here 576 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:15,120 comes Nicholas. And so this started and every 577 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,960 Sunday thing, and I was looking, I was like, we're not really at 578 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,680 church, we're just playing on the playground. 579 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,960 So I stopped going. So in my mind I was like, well, 580 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,720 you know, Chris had him every other weekend. 581 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,880 He was taking him to church. So they were getting some 582 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,480 church. But you know, we just, it was 583 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,960 not working for us. We got, we finally got the 584 00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,400 diagnosis that Alexandra was autistic. 585 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,560 And so finally got a little bit of a help with that. 586 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,760 He was doing OT, occupational therapy. 587 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,520 He's doing speech. Thank goodness my parents would 588 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,760 take him for me so I didn't have to take off from work. 589 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,480 But he was a it was hard. It was very, very hard. 590 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:59,360 He did not sleep well. His pattern was he either went 591 00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,600 to bed and got up around two or three and we were up the rest of 592 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,960 the day, or we would go to sleep and we would get up around 3 or 593 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:10,200 4. You know, it was just no sleep. 594 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,680 You know, when Chris had them, I would sleep on the weekends. 595 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,920 I mean, literally catching up. Yes, because it was hard, you 596 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,120 know, it was very hard. He just didn't sleep a lot. 597 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,040 You know, he's he's still having these meltdowns. 598 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,880 He's still the communication is very, very slow coming. 599 00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:32,800 And so it was, I can remember 1 summer, all he wanted to do was 600 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,720 ride in the car. You know, gas is 3-4 dollars a 601 00:30:35,720 --> 00:30:37,160 gallon. He wants to ride in the car. 602 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,960 I was driving a Suburban and I said buddy Mama can't afford to 603 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,360 drive you around. And I can remember sitting at 604 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,680 the front door while he's kicking and screaming the door 605 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,440 and I just thinking, I just, I just don't know what I'm going 606 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:52,960 to do. But we signed him up for the 607 00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:56,600 Challenger League. And not that he loved it or 608 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:59,800 whatever, but I can remember talking to a mom and we were at 609 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:03,240 the Burger King and her kid was like middle, middle school, high 610 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,680 school age. And I can remember her telling 611 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,920 me it won't always be this way. It gets better. 612 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:11,600 And I'm thinking I'm smiling. Yeah. 613 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:13,400 And in my mind, I'm going, you know, you don't know. 614 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,840 You don't live in my house. You have no idea what I'm going 615 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:18,320 through. It's never going to be this way. 616 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,760 I just gotta just got to say this is my baby and this is 617 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,640 where it's going to be. And we got to deal with it. 618 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,760 But she was so right. It does get better. 619 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:28,720 Amen. It does get better. 620 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,240 So if you're in that situation right now, it does get better. 621 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,040 And I've said that to other moms, and I know I'm always 622 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:36,480 thinking. I know they're probably thinking 623 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,160 the same thing I am. But it does get better, you 624 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:45,880 know, like I said, Chris, thank goodness he continued to try to 625 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,000 get us back together. He really did. 626 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,440 He was persistent. He was very persistent. 627 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,840 He was his family and his woman. Yeah, he was very persistent, 628 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,920 and thank God he was. But he was at South Side. 629 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,720 I was about to say, I remember in Catherine's Thessaloni, which 630 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,160 if you haven't heard, her daughter Catherine, which is 631 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,800 also one of my besties, she was on the episode the beginning, 632 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,680 yes. So we've come a long way since 633 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,440 then, but we're getting to hear from you and your side of this. 634 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:11,520 So he was at South Side. He was. 635 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:13,880 At South Side and like, like I said, he had started reading his 636 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,320 Bible and I could see changes in him. 637 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:20,320 So I was like, OK, well, the kids are with him every other 638 00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:23,560 weekend. And so obviously Alexander 639 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:26,560 somewhere, I mean, so I hadn't got a phone call. 640 00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:28,040 So obviously things are working out. 641 00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,880 So I'm like finally I'm like, OK, you know, I'll go. 642 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:36,320 And oh, it changed my life. I mean, it changed my life. 643 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:42,480 And then I finally got to a church and I could listen. 644 00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,400 I didn't have to wonder if he was running out of running 645 00:32:46,400 --> 00:32:52,600 around or if he was, you know, if he was actually OK, listened. 646 00:32:52,600 --> 00:32:57,880 I mean, I was actually learning about the Bible and was paying 647 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:01,520 attention the whole sermon. I was like, oh, my goodness, I 648 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:03,760 actually listened the whole entire time. 649 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,480 And so for me, that was a big major breakthrough because I 650 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:11,560 just have always struggled when I was at church to listen, say a 651 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:15,320 lot in why was I here? What was I learning? 652 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:19,440 And so, you know, kept we kept going. 653 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:24,960 We actually got back together. Yes, I know that was hard for 654 00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,680 some people. They didn't understand it. 655 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:31,040 They were against it. They did not think that that was 656 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,040 right. You know, they were saying the 657 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,760 two of us before we were, but they didn't want to see where we 658 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,120 were headed. My parents were fine with it, 659 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,560 but like other people, I don't even think it was my parents. 660 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:47,320 It was not. But so here we are. 661 00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:51,080 We get back together and we're in church. 662 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:55,400 We start to volunteer at church. I start reading my Bible. 663 00:33:55,480 --> 00:34:01,120 I was like, oh wow, you know, start actually praying, start 664 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,480 putting a lot of things into practice and doing it every day 665 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:06,840 and start seeing a lot of changes. 666 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,719 I don't want to say that life is not heavy anymore because it is 667 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:16,040 definitely still heavy, but it's so much easier. 668 00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:20,800 It is so much easier to deal with all this stuff that happens 669 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,800 in my life now that have God, now that he's in my life, that I 670 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:28,560 have a relationship with him. And so things have gotten a lot 671 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,159 better. I can handle things a lot 672 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:32,840 better. I'm a better person. 673 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,120 But it took a lot to get here. Yeah. 674 00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:39,920 It took a lot of me thinking I could do things on my own, and I 675 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,239 can't do it on my own. And so. 676 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:48,840 Yeah, that's when when y'all did get back together, like was it 677 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:53,280 just like pure bliss or like there was a lot of like learning 678 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:58,560 to spiritually be 1 together? There was a lot for me. 679 00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:00,040 I'm, you know, I'm reading my Bible now. 680 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,680 So lots of questions, lots of questions. 681 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,280 And so me and Chris will have a lot of discussions about it. 682 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,280 You know, we was good. We would talk about it, you 683 00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:11,120 know, So that helped a lot too. I still have a lot of questions. 684 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,160 I mean, I was asking him questions this morning before he 685 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,760 left. So I'm always wanting to 686 00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:21,440 continue to learn because when I started in the New Testament, I 687 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,440 was always scared to read the Old Testament because every time 688 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:27,880 I would start to read it, I just didn't understand, just did not 689 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,360 feel like I understood. So I kind of stayed away from 690 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:33,760 all that. This year I started the Bible 691 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:38,320 recap, which was the best decision because to see 692 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:42,240 everything how it's happened chronologically has been eye 693 00:35:42,240 --> 00:35:44,080 opening for me. I'm so glad you said that 694 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,360 because I get messages about this because more regularly we 695 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,800 talk about the Bible recap on here and so people always reach 696 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,440 out and they just learn like what is it? 697 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:56,240 And so if you are asking that it's the You Version app and you 698 00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:58,280 can do, can't you do it two different ways? 699 00:35:58,280 --> 00:35:59,560 Can you do it? I've only done the 700 00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:01,840 chronologically, but can't you do it straight through? 701 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,440 Maybe like the Bible ending year, I'm not sure. 702 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,320 I started on January the first yes. 703 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,240 And the thing about it is, is it's kept me on target. 704 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:14,880 It's kept me on track. And because I don't want to get 705 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:20,440 off of track and it's really has made that an everyday habit, 706 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,120 which has been really good. But it's just opened my eyes so 707 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,000 much. Broke mine down because I, I 708 00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:30,080 want to complete a task and I feel like that's a long time to 709 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,600 keep a task going. So I did the New Testament. 710 00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:35,760 I finished that one and it broke it up into like 91 days. 711 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,640 It wasn't bad at all. I think, I don't know. 712 00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,280 And then I'm going to start the Old Testament. 713 00:36:40,280 --> 00:36:42,640 And so I'm so, so excited that you brought that up. 714 00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:46,440 God, other people are going to get to hear about it too yes So 715 00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,920 a little bit about life right now. 716 00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:52,320 I know that y'all have been having a few scares with 717 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,600 Alexander and stuff so. Had some seizures. 718 00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,720 He had his first one on March 17th and it was with me. 719 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:02,960 We were in the cars fixing to try to drop him off at Veterans 720 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:07,600 High School and scared me. I mean, I was an educator for 30 721 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,280 years. So I mean I've been with kids my 722 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:13,080 whole life, but this scared me. Like, I didn't handle it really 723 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,400 well. I mean, in my mind I knew he was 724 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:19,720 having a seizure. In my heart, I thought I was 725 00:37:19,720 --> 00:37:22,240 losing him. Like I'm thinking he's fixing to 726 00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,360 die on me. And it was just crazy. 727 00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,080 I mean, I was an emotional wreck. 728 00:37:26,360 --> 00:37:29,520 There was a nice little man in a truck behind me that got out, 729 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,880 came over to help me. I wish I knew who it was. 730 00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:36,640 I have no idea. But he was so helpful, you know, 731 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:38,400 trying to help me through all that. 732 00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,680 We didn't get any answers. They did an EEG. 733 00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,520 Everything came back. And so they were like, you know, 734 00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,240 he might just have one and that'd be it. 735 00:37:46,240 --> 00:37:48,800 And I'm like, OK, that's great. We're just gonna have one 736 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:52,080 seizure, that's all. A couple of weeks ago, on a 737 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,120 Monday, we get a phone call. He's had another one at school. 738 00:37:56,720 --> 00:38:00,560 So we go to the pediatrician's office and she says, let's, you 739 00:38:00,560 --> 00:38:02,560 know, let's get in with the neurologist. 740 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,040 And so we're waiting to try to get to get all that going. 741 00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:08,440 And so the next Monday, he has another one. 742 00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,360 I just dropped him off at school. 743 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:13,360 And so they called me. And so I turn around, I go in 744 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:15,720 his room, he's on the ground. He's blue in the face. 745 00:38:15,720 --> 00:38:20,000 And so it scared me. I was like, why is he so blue? 746 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,840 And they were like, well, he aspirated during this seizure. 747 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:26,040 And so I go home and Catherine's there and Chris is there. 748 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:28,760 And so I'm like, OK, well, I'm taking him to the emergency 749 00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:30,160 room. You know, if y'all want to go, 750 00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,600 y'all go. If you don't, it's fine. 751 00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,040 I don't, but that's where I'm at. 752 00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:37,040 So me and Chris take him to the emergency room and they do an 753 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:43,040 EEG, they do a EKG, they do a CAT scan, and it's not showing 754 00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,920 anything. And their neurologist come in 755 00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,040 and he's like really would like to do an MRI on him. 756 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,760 And he said we can do it in house or we can do it out house. 757 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:55,560 Well, they'd come in to do his Ivy and he has really bad veins 758 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,520 like his daddy. So they actually had to bring in 759 00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:00,280 the ultrasound machine where they find the vein. 760 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:05,280 So he gets the the Ivy in and the guy looks at us and he says 761 00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,560 it's in. He said it's not in the way I 762 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,480 would like for it to be, but it's in. 763 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,840 And we're just going to hope that it holds. 764 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:16,800 And I'm thinking, OK, so all day long, you know, we're here, I 765 00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:20,560 want this out, get this out. Now the nurse comes in, she 766 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,360 said. He says doctor take. 767 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,840 This out she's like I'm not the. Doctor, I'm the nurse. 768 00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,560 And so then he started calling her by her name. 769 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,680 Danielle. Danielle, take this out. 770 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:34,760 So when the neurologist tells us that, and I was like, OK, so are 771 00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,560 is he going to have to have an IV for this? 772 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,920 And he said, well, I would like to do it with contrast. 773 00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,000 So yes, I said, well, we need to do it here. 774 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,640 Yeah. So we had to spend the night, or 775 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,080 I should say Chris spent the night with him in the hospital 776 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,600 because if everybody knows, Alexander knows when it comes to 777 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,560 discipline, Chris is first with him. 778 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,000 Catherine's actually 2nd and I come in, I come in 3rd when it 779 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,560 comes to discipline. He's going to listen to those 780 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,040 two morning listens to me. So we thought Chris needs to 781 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,680 stay with him. So we got an MRI but didn't show 782 00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:09,360 no stroke, no damage, no tumor, no nothing. 783 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,760 But they did send him home and put him on medicine. 784 00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:15,600 So right now, you know, we're dealing with that with Madison. 785 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:22,640 He's 18, so being 18 has its 'cause he's lower functioning 786 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:24,920 autism, he'll never live on his own. 787 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,280 You know, we had to go through and get guardianship. 788 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:30,960 Actually, me and his daddy and Catherine were all his 789 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,120 guardians. And so that's a different kind 790 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,800 of world, him being 18, you know, everybody in the 791 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:41,120 community, medical community has been very nice as far as letting 792 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:45,400 us, you know, be with him. But that's very, very different. 793 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,040 Oh yeah. Because about that, yes. 794 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:53,200 Because technically, before we got guardianship, they could 795 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,280 have told us, no, you can't come back here with them. 796 00:40:55,320 --> 00:40:58,640 No, he would have actually had to leave because I wouldn't have 797 00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,160 allowed it. But they could. 798 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:01,680 They, you know, absolutely could. 799 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,480 So that's why we had to. That was the big thing about 800 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,720 guardianship, you know? I'm glad you explained that 801 00:41:05,720 --> 00:41:09,680 because I was kind of wondering about that, like, why were y'all 802 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,080 doing that? But that does make sense because 803 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,520 he turned 18 and then y'all went and had. 804 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,880 OK, Yeah. Because, you know, right after 805 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,400 that seizure, they wanted to do blood. 806 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,000 The first seizure back in March, they wanted to do blood work. 807 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,200 And so they let us go back there. 808 00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,760 But then, you know, they look at him, what is your name? 809 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,360 And he just sits there and I'm like, tell him your name 810 00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,720 Alexander. And I'm like, tell him the rest 811 00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,080 of your now. And he does. 812 00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:34,760 And they're like, what is your date of birth? 813 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:36,240 And he's like, he just sits there. 814 00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:39,280 Tell him your birthday buddy, March the 9th. 815 00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:43,440 And I'm like, so once he starts talking, usually you can figure, 816 00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:46,080 you know, he has a very he's he's a big boy. 817 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:48,960 He's like 6-3. He's huge, but he has a little 818 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,160 soft little yes. I love that most of the time 819 00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:57,040 when he talks people like, oh. OK yeah, OK, got it well OK, so 820 00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,160 yeah, y'all are going through it through uncertainty yes, certain 821 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,440 time right now so I'm sure that's very difficult, but I 822 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,800 mean you're plugged in. Y'all all serve at the church. 823 00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:11,320 You know Kristen went to the nursery or the. 824 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:13,400 Because he said he's retired, too. 825 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:16,520 He's always told us when I retire, I'm going to the nursery 826 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,640 to rock the babies. I said, well, you go to the 827 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,680 nursery and rock those babies. So that's awesome. 828 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,400 And he likes to go up there a couple days and work with do 829 00:42:23,400 --> 00:42:28,760 crates for the kids ministry. So and he's and he's doing happy 830 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,520 hour now. He's on the board of happy hour. 831 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,680 So yeah, he's. Just is Alexander going with 832 00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:35,360 him? Not right now, not right now, 833 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:38,040 but it's, you know, it's very interesting because I told 834 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,440 Chris, I said, you know, he can actually go to school till he's 835 00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:43,840 around 2122. So he's still got a few years 836 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,640 left. And so after that, we have to 837 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:49,320 have a plan for him because everybody knows Alexander knows 838 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,520 he's very lazy and. Does like his routine? 839 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,320 Yes, he does like his routine, but he's he's kind of lazy. 840 00:42:55,320 --> 00:42:57,920 So we know that we have to have a plan for him because he can't 841 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,160 sit at home all day. Yeah, so. 842 00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,840 But then you're with your high school girls. 843 00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,440 And now I'm at middle school now. 844 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:07,360 Middle school. I'm sorry you moved. 845 00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,240 I did. I moved down to middle school. 846 00:43:11,200 --> 00:43:13,760 It's it's very we we, we flip. Yeah. 847 00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,520 I mean it's. Funny because I went from my 848 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:21,280 girls were seniors last year, so they graduated and now I'm with 849 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,880 6th grade. So very, very different type of 850 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:28,040 small group or whatever, but they're very funny. 851 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,720 Yeah, yeah, 6th graders definitely on for sure. 852 00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:32,840 Because I told Catherine I, you know, always write down their 853 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:34,200 prayer request. And so I was showing. 854 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,480 I said here's my senior girls prayer request. 855 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,200 And I said here's my prayer request now. 856 00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,400 Lots of dogs, lots of animals. She. 857 00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:43,320 Always told me, she said, mom, we do a lot of praying for dogs. 858 00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,240 And I was like oh OK. And so now I get it. 859 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,280 I get it now. When I did my 6th grade girls, I 860 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:52,600 was like, as soon as the first one would say like an animal, 861 00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:55,480 I'm like, we're going to cover all animals in prayer. 862 00:43:55,600 --> 00:43:58,160 We're going to go ahead and just, it's a blanket print out, 863 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:00,240 you know? Yeah, sometimes you got to yes, 864 00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,640 but yes. OK, so this has just been so 865 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,600 great. But I want to close, I want to 866 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,240 give you an opportunity. So maybe say something. 867 00:44:07,240 --> 00:44:10,320 I did the same 3 every time. Maybe God's revealed something 868 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,440 to you more recently that you want to share about. 869 00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,760 Maybe you were on the way here and you were like, I really want 870 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,320 to talk about this and I haven't gave you the opportunity to do 871 00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:20,800 that. Or do you have a piece of advice 872 00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:22,640 that you would like to give some other women? 873 00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,440 My big thing, which I always do with my high school girls and 874 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,480 even with these middle school girls now is community. 875 00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:35,240 That's my big thing is community and accountability because 876 00:44:35,240 --> 00:44:39,880 you've got, you've got to be very, very careful who you keep 877 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,960 in close contact with. That's what kind of strayed me 878 00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:46,480 away and wasn't with the right people. 879 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,120 And you know, you've got to be very careful with who you're 880 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,960 spending your time with. Yes, that's. 881 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,160 Good. I mean, you have to yes the. 882 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:57,240 Accountability is such a big thing because like unbelievers 883 00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,960 or unequally yoked friends or whatever, they're not going to 884 00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:04,120 hold you to the same standard as your friends that are equally 885 00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,200 yoked as you. Yes. 886 00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,560 They're going to be like, it's fun for you to do that. 887 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,400 It's OK. We all have the, we all have 888 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,240 issues. We all, you know, need to go do 889 00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:13,920 this and go do that. But no, you got to have somebody 890 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:14,960 that's going to hold you accountable. 891 00:45:15,040 --> 00:45:16,280 Well, you got to have that community. 892 00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:19,080 Yeah, that's good. I mean, so, yeah, because I, I, 893 00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:21,400 I mean, I talk about this all the time. 894 00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:25,720 I truly believe if me and Chris were where we were supposed to 895 00:45:25,720 --> 00:45:28,240 be, then I don't think we would have divorced. 896 00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,600 I really don't. I mean, I, I could be wrong. 897 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,000 I mean, I don't know that for sure, but I, I feel like if we 898 00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:36,160 were, we could have worked through it, but we were not in 899 00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,360 the right place. Yeah, nowhere near the right. 900 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:43,520 Place and seeking the Lord in any way and so you know and I 901 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:48,120 mean that separation also drew Chris I don't know I said it 902 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:51,920 like that drew Chris to you know dive into church and get 903 00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,400 involved in Southside because Catherine was talking about how 904 00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,000 that was just a big pivotal moment for her and now she's in 905 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:01,440 ministry and works at Southside so like even if maybe it 906 00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:04,200 wouldn't have happened it all did happen for. 907 00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:06,200 A reason, and that's what I have to tell myself because I had a 908 00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:09,400 lot of, I did have a lot of guilt at first about that 909 00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:12,600 because when I, you know, when we were at Southside and all 910 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,960 that was like, you know, if we had been where we were supposed 911 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,200 to be, I don't think all that other stuff had happened. 912 00:46:18,520 --> 00:46:21,920 And so I had to work through that a lot and tell myself, 913 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,320 well, it's part of our story. You know, it is part of our 914 00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:26,280 story. And so, you know, you can't go 915 00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,840 back to the past. Got to start here and keep 916 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:30,360 going. Yeah, keep going forward. 917 00:46:30,720 --> 00:46:32,320 That's. Good all right, I think we're 918 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:35,360 going into there all right all right, I'm glad we got to do 919 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:39,280 this and sit down and talk to with with one another today, but 920 00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,600 also for y'all to hear this awesome story of just really a 921 00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:45,440 God of restoration. I would say definitely a God of 922 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:49,680 restoration. So guys stay tuned, stay blessed 923 00:46:49,680 --> 00:46:51,080 and we'll see you guys later. Bye. 924 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:51,840 Bye.