1 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:14,680 What's up, guys? My name's Alexis. 2 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,680 And I'm Abby. And we're your host with praises 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,000 in the pod. We are going to be talking about 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,680 sanctification, surrender. Yep. 5 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,000 And just kind of catching up too, because it's been a while. 6 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,840 It really has been a while. We've said that before, but it 7 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,000 really has been a while since we sat down to record. 8 00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,760 And we're going to talk about all that and just all kind of 9 00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:32,759 stuff. So we're going to start off in 10 00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:34,000 prayer and then we're going to jump right in. 11 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,560 So here we go. Lord Heavenly Father, thank you 12 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,240 for all of the things that you are doing in our lives. 13 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,200 Lord God, we just thank you and we praise you for Abby and Lily 14 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,800 Ruth, Lord God, and just that whole situation that has been 15 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,640 going on, Lord God, but above all else, just for that precious 16 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:52,320 life. You have such big plans for her 17 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:56,320 and we are so thankful for her. We just pray that you speak to 18 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,000 us and through US today. We just pray that everything 19 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,960 that we do in this podcast and outside of this podcast 20 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,200 glorifies you. Let let us just glorify your 21 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,560 name in this episode. In Jesus name, I pray Amen. 22 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,200 All right, so you're not pregnant. 23 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:12,880 No. You're she's not pregnant. 24 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,400 This is the first episode you've done since you've had Lily Ruth. 25 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,240 Yes. Her name is Lily. 26 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,680 Yes. And so, I mean, we've been 27 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,520 recording. For that is not her, said her 28 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,200 name. I thought so. 29 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,800 Prior did I or didn't we say her name? 30 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,880 I don't know anyway it. Really has been so long since 31 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,080 we. Were I don't know, I have and 32 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,080 don't ask me right now because I am in the newborn trenches. 33 00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,600 Yeah, I don't know what's up or down right now on newborn. 34 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,880 Plus a toddler trenches yes, that's a different even that's. 35 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,240 Called what? Yes, it was really nice when we 36 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:49,520 had Sutton and we enjoyed it. Like Oh my goodness, you had 37 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,560 time to just soak in the moments and just be with your newborn 38 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,720 now? No, not with a crazy little 39 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,120 toddler run out on and one that's non-stop. 40 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,560 Yeah, I have one that talks. It's Patty Cash. 41 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,360 I was going to ask that because so many people say like the 42 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,880 transition between zero to 1 is harder than one to two, but 43 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:14,360 you're saying you feel as if one to two is harder than 0 to 1. 44 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,760 Yeah, for me, it has been. And I was thinking about that, 45 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,840 you know, because I, I hear that all the time. 46 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,360 But I was like, man, for me, this seems like it's been more 47 00:02:24,360 --> 00:02:28,040 rough going from 1:00 to 2:00 because when it was just me and 48 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:32,280 Dexter, you know, he could have the baby and I could, you know, 49 00:02:32,640 --> 00:02:35,240 do whatever, relax, take a nap if I needed to during the day 50 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,920 when we had just had the baby. But now it's like, someone's 51 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:40,160 going to have the toddler and then someone has the baby. 52 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,040 You know what I mean? So you never get a break. 53 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,440 But not even just that. I was thinking about it and I 54 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:49,280 was like, I had a baby. Probably the worst time of the 55 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:52,600 year, January. Oh, well, girl, we have been 56 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:57,560 locked inside. It's snowed so like Lily has 57 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,720 been outside like 3 times. I never. 58 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,080 Had fresh air. Right. 59 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,920 It's been so cold. Everybody's been sick in 60 00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:10,360 January, so it's been rough. So I just, and I didn't realize 61 00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,800 too, having sat and had her in the summer month, we were 62 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,160 outside all the time, you know, getting fresh air, just enjoying 63 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,360 the day. And that was so nice. 64 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:20,560 And I haven't had that with Lily. 65 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,440 So I think that's what's made it more difficult too. 66 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,360 Yeah, I saw your picture the other day, and next she was 67 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,680 like, you know, I haven't seen any pictures. 68 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,720 There's a Lily outside. Is this her first time? 69 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,480 And I was like, matter of fact, probably is. 70 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,200 Yeah. But anyway, so the transition's 71 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,640 been rough. Yes, yeah, it's been, it's been 72 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,680 a whirlwind for. Sure. 73 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,960 Yeah. You want to talk a little bit 74 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:43,000 about your transition period or Yeah, in more detail and what's 75 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,720 been going on or? Yeah, like kind of the birth and 76 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,920 everything. I had my daughter on January 77 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,560 9th. Everything went great as far as 78 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:57,000 labor and delivery and we got to come home on time and everything 79 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,840 went perfect. She came, she was healthy. 80 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:03,200 That's all that we could have prayed and asked for, especially 81 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,320 with everything that kind of went on with the pregnancy, but 82 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,320 just being home this time. I don't. 83 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,880 It is just difficult with having a toddler. 84 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:16,640 I really have felt a heavy heart of feeling like I'm not giving 85 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:22,079 my daughter set in the time and attention that she needs, which 86 00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:24,680 is super important to me. And I knew that was going to be 87 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,680 difficult, like I had prepared for that. 88 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,880 But you still can't prepare for it enough mentally when you're 89 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,120 in it. And so it's just been really 90 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,200 heavy on my heart. It was, it was really tearing me 91 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,120 up the first second week. But then she went back to school 92 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,520 so that made it a little bit easier. 93 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,840 I knew that she was busy at school, having fun with her 94 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:49,720 friends and, you know, kind of had her mind off of things 95 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:52,920 instead of feeling like at home. And we're constantly trying to 96 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,800 tell her right now, you know, don't touch the baby. 97 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,360 You don't put your fingers in the baby's mouth like she's all 98 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:59,920 over the baby. I know a favorite thing when I 99 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:01,520 went. Took pictures or whatever, I'm 100 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,920 like, all right, kiss your sister and you're like, no, I 101 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:05,280 know. Do not kiss. 102 00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:08,560 Your sister or she knows too. She's like, let me kiss the back 103 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,160 of her. Yeah, we're like, you can rub 104 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,680 the back of her head and stuff because next thing you know, 105 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,880 she'll be trying to pick her up and hitting her in the head with 106 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:19,040 her toys. I mean, it's been it's literally 107 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:22,480 it's a mess. But she went back to school, got 108 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:26,400 sick going back to school this time of year it's like flu, 109 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,200 colds, just everything non-stop came back home the end of that 110 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,640 week, got tested positive for strep throat and had some other 111 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:37,480 type of upper respiratory virus. And the following week, Lily was 112 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:40,800 three weeks, ended up testing positive for RSV. 113 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,800 She woke up with like kind of congested sounding in a cough 114 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:49,160 and I took her to the doctor that Friday and they came in and 115 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:53,480 told me that she was positive for RSV and my heart literally 116 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,840 like sank. I, I don't even remember in that 117 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:59,480 moment everything that was going on and what all the doctor was 118 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,280 telling me. I was just, it was just like the 119 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,240 room was everything had just stopped because I was so 120 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,840 terrified of what was going to happen. 121 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:09,560 She was only three weeks old. But praise God, he got us 122 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,440 through that. We didn't end up at the hospital 123 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,560 for like 2 1/2 days or so with her there. 124 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:21,480 They had to put her on oxygen. And probably mentally the worst 125 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:25,480 place I've been in a really long time because I just remember 126 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,760 like crying to God and just being like, I've already been 127 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,560 through so much with this pregnancy and now this. 128 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:36,040 Like I can't take this anymore. Like I can't do this anymore. 129 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:40,720 Like I specifically remember saying those words and but he 130 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,360 did. He still carried me through it 131 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,560 and carried us through it. Now we're on the other side. 132 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:47,760 And again, it just continues to strengthen my faith. 133 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,720 But did I choose that? What I ever choose that? 134 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:51,960 Do I want to go through it? No. 135 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,000 It's been really difficult. And that's kind of like going to 136 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,000 lead into what we're talking about, like surrendering our 137 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,960 lives to Him and surrendering our desires and wants and 138 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:05,000 everything because man, sometimes what comes our way, we 139 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,120 would. We don't choose it. 140 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,960 We don't want it. It's not easy, but we got to 141 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:12,240 continue to have our hope and and faith in him and know that 142 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:13,760 he's going to get us through it. Yeah. 143 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,640 So I posted on Facebook and Instagram and stuff on my 144 00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,480 socials and I was like, what would y'all want us to talk 145 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,360 about? And so one of the things that 146 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,080 came in was sanctification. And then it kind of went hand in 147 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,760 hand with surrender. So someone specifically asked 148 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,800 for surrender. And then my mom said why don't 149 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,760 y'all talk about sanctification process? 150 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:39,120 And so, 'cause it's so hard to say, like, well, you said it 151 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,800 too, like they go hand in hand. Yeah, this Turner and 152 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,080 sanctification. Cause the person specifically 153 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,320 was saying like, what are practical ways that you can 154 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,480 surrender, right? And I'm like, what are practical 155 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:54,400 ways you consider, you know, because like it looks different 156 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,720 the long that you walk with Christ. 157 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,880 So did you write stuff down that you wanted to kind of discuss 158 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,440 about it or? Yeah, I mean or what did you? 159 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,160 Let's start with you. Yeah. 160 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,000 I mean, like what you were saying as far as when you had 161 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,440 said both of those terms to me, I'm in my mind was thinking back 162 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,160 to when everything started for us. 163 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:18,560 So we had to be broken first, surrender everything to him, 164 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,240 which then kind of starts the sanctification process, meaning 165 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,000 we surrendered like our desires, surrendered our daily habits, 166 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:31,240 our daily just everything to him, which started the 167 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:34,159 sanctification process. And when you surrender to him, 168 00:08:34,159 --> 00:08:37,280 you start trying to listen to what the Spirit's going to tell 169 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,600 you, which kind of starts he starts working on your heart and 170 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,600 working on certain things, which again leads into that 171 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,920 sanctification process. Because sanctification is just 172 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,920 daily trying to become more Christ like. 173 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,440 It's a daily grind. It's something that you, it's, 174 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,440 it's not just a one time, one stop shop and you're done. 175 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,160 It is something that we have to do daily. 176 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:02,160 So we have to surrender daily, and it's that sanctification 177 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,560 process every single day. I'm having this conversation 178 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:08,520 with someone this past week of like, they're just struggling 179 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,240 with like something that they're dealing with in their life and 180 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,840 they can't find scripture that specifically says it's wrong. 181 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:21,200 It it like it is and it's in there, but like they're trying 182 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,360 to almost justify it in a way like but this and this and this 183 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,040 and this and like just going back and forth. 184 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,560 And so one of the things that I said to her, like we did an 185 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,720 episode about TV shows, right? So my flesh will say that's no 186 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,800 big deal. Like it's just ATV show, but 187 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:41,760 when we sin, we get further away from Jesus. 188 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,480 Like we're getting further away because he can't be present in 189 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,800 sin because he's sinless. So the darkness cannot be 190 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,640 anywhere near him because he's straight light. 191 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,360 So surrendering those desires, surrendering those things that 192 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:58,000 we want to do to for like in our flesh, like we want to do those 193 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,840 things, but we're not because we want to be close to him, right? 194 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:06,480 So like a surrender is something that is something that maybe we 195 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,200 do want to do and we just can't really figure out why it's so 196 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,960 bad, but we know that it's not going to push us closer to 197 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,000 Jesus. Right when I was thinking about 198 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:19,600 it, anything that I've usually had an opposition to giving up 199 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,480 or an opposition to wanting to change. 200 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:26,080 And I kind of had this nudge or I kind of had this gut feeling 201 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,040 that like, oh, I need to give that up. 202 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,920 Like let's say drinking. I knew I kind of needed to give 203 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,840 that up or oh, I know I need to tie more. 204 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,200 I just don't know if I can. So right there when that 205 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:40,320 opposition starts, like in my mind and I'm trying to oppose 206 00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:45,240 whatever I'm feeling that's in those moments, I've learned that 207 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:50,080 I have to stop and just be like, OK, no, Lord you, I'm going to 208 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,120 do it 100%. And I'm going to let you take it 209 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,760 from here on out. And I'm not. 210 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,480 I'm not going to oppose it anymore. 211 00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:59,840 Let me just stop the drinking. Let me just start the tithing. 212 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:03,440 Let me do what you're telling me to do 100%. 213 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:04,720 Does that make sense? Yeah. 214 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:06,360 Like. Why don't you test out 215 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:10,440 surrender, correct. Like Pat says this about tithing 216 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,320 is like the Lord says, test me, right? 217 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:16,520 Tithe your time, time your money, tithe. 218 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,720 Did I say, did I say whatever? Tithe your time, right? 219 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,840 Hive your money like tithe these things and see the Lord work in 220 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,640 your life, right? Like if you feel like there is 221 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,320 something in your life that is pulling you away from Christ, 222 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:35,240 give it up, surrender it, lay it down and see what He can do it. 223 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,120 Can even be a person you're dealing with because I thought 224 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:40,200 about this too. Do it, Yeah. 225 00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:44,480 So it can even be a person you're dealing with and your 226 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:48,760 responses. So this is what the Lord. 227 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,840 Just ate me up. Yeah, and he's told me to talk 228 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,880 about this because he said I'm serious, he said. 229 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,400 Like your responses are something that you're even 230 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,080 supposed to surrender over to me. 231 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:05,440 And here's what I always say is, OK, I'm opposing what I really 232 00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:08,200 what you want me to say, Lord, because you want me to respond 233 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,920 this way. And you want me to say this. 234 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:14,080 And this is how I know I have in my gut feeling, you're telling, 235 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,760 I know the spirits leading me this way because it's good and 236 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,200 your word is good. And I know this is what I need 237 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,400 to say, but I'm going to try to just say this and I want to word 238 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,080 it this way. Nope. 239 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,080 You got to stop. You got to fully commit to what 240 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,640 he is telling you and how to respond to that person. 241 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,480 And that is like full surrender. Are you talking? 242 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,320 About me on this. No, girl. 243 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,120 Well, I was wondering because the other day when I was 244 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,280 texting, you were like, Alexis, I'm going through it. 245 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,840 And I'm like, did my texts come off like, so raw? 246 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:44,840 No, no. OK. 247 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,120 I'm like, hang on, are you talking about me? 248 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,640 Too. No, I'm serious. 249 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:51,000 When I was talking about things to surreal, I'm thinking about 250 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,360 like just even simple things. It's not. 251 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,840 It don't have to be the big things. 252 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,000 Daily surrender is the small things. 253 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,960 Yes, I think it's more of the small things than the big 254 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,520 things. Because the big things are going 255 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,240 to come over time. I'm just so like so mind 256 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,920 boggled, so mind boggling that you brought this up because like 257 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:12,600 I really have been having a hard time with someone in my life and 258 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:16,840 just like we just, it's, we are wholly sandpaper to one another. 259 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:22,360 Like we are just sanding the crap out of each other like, and 260 00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,200 you know, the Lord is trying to work through that with me. 261 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:29,720 Like Alexis, just let it go. Like you don't have to respond. 262 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,120 You don't have to give a response. 263 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:33,640 Like the way that you do respond is important. 264 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,960 Like just go out of your way. Like the truly kill them with 265 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,960 kindness. But sometimes I my personality 266 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,720 will take kill them for kindness the two different. 267 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,840 Want to go? Yeah. 268 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,720 And then I'm being petty about the kindness, you know? 269 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:54,280 So the Lord is working with me. Y'all, the Lord's just working 270 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:55,640 with. That's something I'm going 271 00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,240 through right now. Right. 272 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,600 Yeah. You know what? 273 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,840 You're you're kind of given that. 274 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,200 I don't, I don't want to attitude to the Lord and that's 275 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,680 what you got to give over to Him. 276 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,760 Yeah. So and, you know, recently, 277 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:15,040 recently, recently was I don't know how to really say this 278 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,480 without it coming off judgmental. 279 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,720 So y'all hear my heart? OK, Hey, everybody listening, 280 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,920 hear my heart. There's one person that I 281 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:27,560 specifically kind of wanted to have in the pod and like some of 282 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:29,280 their social media has cussing on it. 283 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:32,760 OK. She more recently just came to 284 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:36,360 the Lord and I was talking to somebody about this and they 285 00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,120 said, well, how long she been walking with Lord? 286 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,960 You know, like, yeah, the sanctification process is still 287 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,640 going on. What a powerful testimony that 288 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:48,000 is just to still say like, I gave up this. 289 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,600 I gave up this. I'm walking to the Lord now. 290 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,720 Yeah. She might still struggle with 291 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,920 some, you know, some cussing here and there. 292 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,000 What are you struggling with? And I'm like, don't eat me up. 293 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,800 Like it was just something that, you know, because social media 294 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,560 is so big, because when we have people in these like platforms 295 00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:07,160 or giving this people the opportunity, they're going to go 296 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,920 look. And I don't want anyone to come 297 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,200 on here and be a stumbling pot for some, right? 298 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,680 And so there's just always this thing. 299 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,720 But when they said that, I'm like, she's still in the 300 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,200 sanctification process. We're all still in the 301 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,960 sanctification process. Like I'm still being worked on 302 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:25,120 with this person, like the things that I do, the TV shows I 303 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,040 watch. It's going to be a day long 304 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:32,840 process because we'll never be able to attain the holiness of 305 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:35,080 Christ. It's something that we are 306 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:39,480 striving towards, yes, well 100% never get there until we're 307 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,160 called home. What I was just thinking about 308 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:45,000 too is like, OK, this is been brought up in a conversation I 309 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,160 had yesterday and today, like Christianity following Christ is 310 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:52,400 being comfortable being uncomfortable. 311 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,600 OK? Did I say that right? 312 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,920 OK. Yeah, I'm going to read 313 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,400 something too that you're talking about because it was so 314 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,000 good. And so I'm thinking about 315 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,840 surrender. I'm thinking about what it looks 316 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,840 like to pick up your cross every single day. 317 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,720 What does it look like to pick up your cross every day? 318 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,080 It looks uncomfortable like it truly does. 319 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:16,320 Because think about what Jesus endured on the way up to, you 320 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,640 know, up there and he's carrying that cross. 321 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,160 He's already been beaten. He's already in severe pain, 322 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,040 agony carrying this massive cross. 323 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,160 It's not easy. And at the end of it he always 324 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,280 says not my will, but your will. Yes. 325 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,200 And so like I'm thinking, what does that look like every day? 326 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,760 Are these things easy to give up? 327 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,640 No. Or or is it easy to pick up your 328 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,720 cross and deny your flesh? No, but the Lord says pick up 329 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:46,000 your cross and follow me every single day. 330 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,880 It's not just a one time thing, right? 331 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,600 When you say that prayer, it's literally this morning when I 332 00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,240 wake up. Lord, you go before me. 333 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,480 Yeah, like let me yield to your spirit. 334 00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:58,480 Right. Yeah, that's so good. 335 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,080 I I had two things that like stuck out to me that were so 336 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,920 good that I saw one of them was Phil Robertson. 337 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:10,119 So he said you've got to come to the end of yourself to find the 338 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,200 beginning of God. That's good. 339 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:16,160 Like how true is that? You got to completely be at the 340 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,520 end of your wit with yourself and what's your desire and what 341 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:24,400 you want to do to even find and and really see how God can work 342 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,079 in your life. Because if you don't ever do it, 343 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:30,040 you won't really see the beauty and what he can start doing. 344 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,720 Like if you had never given up, you know, the party life 345 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:39,200 drinking and truly surrendered that and even surrendered do 346 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,400 starting this because you you had to surrender your fears. 347 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,440 You got to think backs, you had to surrender your fears and 348 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,080 anxiety. You wouldn't be right here right 349 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,760 now. So if you never even take that 350 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,280 step and come to the end of yourself, you won't even find 351 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,280 the beginning of God. I thought that was so good. 352 00:17:55,200 --> 00:18:00,280 Because you do like, you have to be taught like truly, we always 353 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,560 say you got to be sick and tired of being sick and tired. 354 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:06,920 Like, and you really do like if you're comfortable with your 355 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:13,160 life and sin and you're just like numb to what could be like. 356 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,920 There's so many times that you're just not willing to give 357 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,160 it up. You truly do have to come to the 358 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,480 end of yourself and be like, I need better. 359 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,400 I need hope. Yeah, yeah. 360 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:27,440 And I wrote down like for surrender, kind of we have to go 361 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,440 through too. I think surrender starts with 362 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:32,960 your heart first. Like your heart has to be open 363 00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:38,240 to accepting Christ and and surrendering your wants and 364 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,360 desires over to him. But we have to kind of go 365 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:43,760 through too, and take like an inventory of our lives and, and 366 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,320 look at like, what am I still trying to control? 367 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,720 What do I need to give over to him? 368 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,640 What does he nudge me on changing? 369 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:55,720 I remember having a conversation with my dad and he was, he had 370 00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:59,760 already been saved for, I mean, goodness, eight years or so. 371 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,360 It'd been a while. And I think he was saying the 372 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,400 Lord's working on me, on my pride right now. 373 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,240 He's already worked on this, this and this with me. 374 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,640 And now he's working on this with me. 375 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:12,160 And I thought that was so strange the way he said it 376 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,840 because at this time I had not accepted the Lord is my savior 377 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:19,320 and and changed completely. So when he said that I was like, 378 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,720 huh, he's already worked on this, this and this, and now 379 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:26,360 he's working on your pride. Like how did he not do it all at 380 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:28,400 one time? Or it was just confusing to me. 381 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,920 So that's what we mean when we say that sanctification process 382 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,040 is he might have gotten rid of the desire to drink in your 383 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:41,360 life, but you actually had a struggle with pride or fear or 384 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:46,280 gossip or whatever it may be that now he's going to start 385 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,240 working on that in your heart and start working on that in 386 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,080 your life. So taking a complete inventory 387 00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,760 kind of lets you see all of those things in your life, you 388 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,840 know, money. Where do I stand with that? 389 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:01,520 Where do I stand with just everything, my friendships like 390 00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,400 how I am as a mom, just anything and everything. 391 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,800 And you look at that and you, you know, kind of. 392 00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:10,520 Put it up to the cross and say, you know what do I need to give 393 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,640 over to you, Lord, or where are you working on me right now and 394 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,360 learning to surrender that to Him? 395 00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:17,840 Yeah, you were talking about, you know, it starts with your 396 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:19,360 heart. And there's so many times that 397 00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:22,560 like when I am like speaking in front of like a group or 398 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,640 something, I always be, I always started the same pretty much of 399 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:29,480 like, Lord give them the eyes to see you, the heart to receive 400 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,640 you and the ears to hear you. The heart to receive you is just 401 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,480 such a big thing because if your heart postures off, if it's 402 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:41,120 stone cold like, like truly they need their heart to be just 403 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:44,880 like, softens in that because if you go into things with a hard 404 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,400 heart, it's hard to change it. Yeah, I mean, the Lord can do 405 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,640 anything, but if you just are just so closed off, you can't 406 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,040 receive it right? Can't receive what he has for 407 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:56,600 you if you're so closed off. Right. 408 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,720 So yeah, I. Just. 409 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,680 I'd read a book by Nancy Demos, Brokenness. 410 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:04,440 Do you Remember Me? I talked about that before. 411 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,960 Have you never read it? Have you? 412 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:09,920 No. OK, but I want to read the way 413 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,160 that she describes brokenness and surrender 'cause it's so 414 00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,000 good. She explains it this way. 415 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:20,080 Brokenness is as a choosing, ongoing lifestyle of total 416 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,760 surrender and humility before God rather than a feeling or 417 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,680 emotion. It is the voluntary shattering 418 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:30,800 of self will allowing the life of Jesus to be released through 419 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:34,200 a person, and involves agreeing with God about the true 420 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,960 condition of 1's heart. So yeah, it's almost like you've 421 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,040 got to be in agreeance. Remember how I was saying you, 422 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:45,640 you have that opposition in your heart to what is truly he's 423 00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:49,120 telling you to do. And it's coming to an agreeance 424 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,160 that no, your way is the only way. 425 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:56,720 Like I'm surrendering my way to you because it's not ever worked 426 00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:58,320 out. It's never worked out. 427 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,160 I'm not where I want to be because of that reason because 428 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,720 I've always tried to do it myself. 429 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,240 So now I'm just giving that over to you. 430 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,160 And that's daily surrendering to him and being broken to his 431 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,280 will. So I just thought that was such 432 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:13,840 a good explanation. And you know, like I'm thinking 433 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:18,360 of like when I surrendered back in April of 2023, like when me 434 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:20,480 and Greg were going through infertility and all this stuff. 435 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,880 And I want to be a mom so bad. And it consumed. 436 00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,600 I mean, that's all I could think about. 437 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,160 That's all I could talk about. That was literally my whole life 438 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:35,320 of like, you know, we, we got to try to have this baby. 439 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,840 Like we got to try to, you know, like make all these things. 440 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,200 It would just consume me. But the day that I truly 441 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:44,400 surrendered that and I heard from the Lord and I said, I'm 442 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,080 not going to let that happen anymore. 443 00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:52,960 Like I I'm going to let you or my life be consumed by you and 444 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,200 what you want from me instead of what I want. 445 00:22:56,520 --> 00:23:01,160 Like go after the Lord as hard as you're going after. 446 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:02,400 The thing. The thing? 447 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:07,040 Whatever you're going after in life that you feel like is just 448 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,160 heavy, it is just weighing you down. 449 00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:11,840 You want it so bad. Have that same energy with the 450 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,640 Lord. Yeah. 451 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,040 Run after him full force and let him show you what he can do. 452 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,440 Right. Because like last night at Small 453 00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,720 Group, we were talking. We really miss you, girl. 454 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,520 We really miss out. But we're talking at Small Group 455 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:28,080 and Paige was like saying, you know, thank God for all the 456 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,840 unanswered prayers. And that's like, I ain't never 457 00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:33,000 heard that before. What you mean I'm like, you've 458 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:36,040 never heard that before. But he was saying every prayer 459 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,360 is answered, right? Like it really is. 460 00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:42,120 There's three ways yes, no or not now or wait. 461 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,440 And so he took it so. Literally meaning our prayer 462 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,040 might not be answered right now. You won't ask, but exactly God 463 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,520 has designed it. Exactly. 464 00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,160 And so like he and so I explained, you know, I'm so 465 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:56,200 thankful for that. No. 466 00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,400 Or that unanswered prayer, what I was praying so desperately 467 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,400 for. I'm glad that it wasn't the way 468 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:07,240 that I wanted it. It's so hard to put your won't, 469 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:09,120 especially when it's not something bad. 470 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,760 Wanting a baby is not anything bad. 471 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,440 And I'm like, I know like how for me. 472 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:18,880 It is so hard to put your desires to the side. 473 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,800 For him it is. It is not an easy. 474 00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,440 I mean, when you're talking about how do you do this 475 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,040 practically, that's how you do it. 476 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,560 And it ain't easy. It is very hard as a daily grind 477 00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,320 and it's very uncomfortable. I'll just say that. 478 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,600 It's just very uncomfortable. And that's what I was going to 479 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,800 read about obedience that somebody wrote. 480 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,720 I thought it was so beautiful, but it says obedience is 481 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,840 beautiful, but it is exhausting. Not because God is harsh, but 482 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,440 because obedience requires you to fight everything in you that 483 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,240 wants comfort, control, and clarity before taking a step. 484 00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,920 It means saying yes when you're scared, moving when you don't 485 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:58,880 feel ready, and trusting God when the path makes no sense. 486 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,680 Like to me, that's true surrender like you're you, we 487 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:07,840 constantly won't comfort. We constantly are seeking just 488 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,520 clarity on things, you know, just anything comfortable. 489 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:16,200 And he's not going to want you in that comfort zone because he 490 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,400 wants you to fully trusting him. It's literally so funny though 491 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:23,280 because you really do have to continue to seek the Lord when 492 00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:26,560 you're looking for this clarity. Because like I've recorded a one 493 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,720 off episode by myself talking about the last month and what 494 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,280 all I've went through with my big announcement that I was 495 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,000 going to do and still hasn't came out. 496 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,520 Probably still ain't even come out to this day, but who knows. 497 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,840 I don't know yet, but I tried to make it seem like I was being 498 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:45,800 obedient and truly I look back now and I was, I was very 499 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,280 disobedient, like I was turning the scripture into what I wanted 500 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:53,640 it to say. I was truly listening to God's 501 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,360 voice. I'm I'm like, I was so confident 502 00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:59,240 that I knew what he was calling me to do. 503 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,680 And I still yet like just twisted it, manipulated it and 504 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,880 be like, Yep, that's it. Sign on the dotted line. 505 00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:10,720 And like, that is where it gets so important to really seek him 506 00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:13,840 and yeah, and not just try to have your heart set on what you 507 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,560 want, right? Like that's what's so hard that. 508 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:22,320 Is and like, you don't even know how great the plan he has for 509 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,280 you is until you're walking like time goes by and all this and 510 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:28,920 you look back and you're like, now it makes sense. 511 00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,000 Yeah. But in the time you don't, you 512 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:33,800 have no idea. You're like, God, I know that 513 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,160 this is good. And if you answer this prayer, 514 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,800 it's going to everything is going to be great. 515 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,240 Yeah. And it's not like I'm like, now 516 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:46,120 I look back and I'm like, oh. Right, he does. 517 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:48,720 I write down Proverbs 3 five through 6. 518 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,560 We say it all the time and Celebrate Recovery, but it's so 519 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:55,120 true and so fitting for today, but it's trusting the Lord with 520 00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:56,640 all your heart. Lean not on your own 521 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,800 understanding in all of your ways. 522 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,200 Submit to him and he will make your path straight. 523 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,160 And it's so true. It's like if we just lean on him 524 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:10,120 100% and try to continue to not feed our flesh, like what you're 525 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:15,080 saying, you, you still kind of had your desires in the mix of 526 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,120 it and your wants in the mix of it. 527 00:27:17,200 --> 00:27:20,560 And if we don't feed that, which I still, I mean, obviously we 528 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:22,760 all still struggle with that. And it's something I work on 529 00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,400 daily too. And try to you try to suppress 530 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:32,160 that and allow him to trusting in him and what he would have 531 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,800 and not even say and just be like, I don't even care what 532 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:36,360 happens. Lord, just do you have it. 533 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,960 Yes, you have it like whatever you want to happen. 534 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,560 I was me and my small group of 11th grade girls. 535 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,280 We were talking one night and you know, God has this 536 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:52,080 destination for us, like a perfect plan will that will make 537 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:56,280 your path straight, completely straight to the to like to the 538 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:00,360 destination. And we're the ones that go left 539 00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:03,120 right, and we take these long ways. 540 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:06,600 He still has this plan. So don't think that just because 541 00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,600 you made this mistake that will is done for. 542 00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,240 Like you're still heading, like you can still get that same. 543 00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:16,960 Education is lifetime. Yes, you're just getting, you're 544 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:19,760 getting closer and closer and closer like. 545 00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:24,160 And we might inch sometimes. And sometimes we might take more 546 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:24,920 elites. We might. 547 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,400 We might. Be having 75 and a 45. 548 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,760 But getting it good this month, next month we. 549 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,960 Fell off, Fell off. Like I tried to explain this to 550 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,800 them, like leaving the church or leaving here, leaving my house 551 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:42,640 and heading to your house. You can take 32 ways to get to 552 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,920 your house from my house. Like there's not just one 553 00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:49,040 perfect, like there is one perfect easy route to your 554 00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:50,680 house. But we're going to get off. 555 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:51,640 We're going to do all these things. 556 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,280 But you can always get right back on. 557 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,440 Yeah. You can always find God's will 558 00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,240 again because there'll it. You'll just know when you're 559 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,640 walking in his will. I was telling my mom that at 560 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:04,320 lunch today. It's like, it's so crazy because 561 00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:06,840 I never would have considered myself a workaholic probably 562 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,760 five years ago, right. And honestly, I'm having to 563 00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:13,560 start surrendering some things because I like, called somebody 564 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,480 out the other day and I was like, man, they traded one 565 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:19,120 addiction for the next. And I was like, oh, that clock 566 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,720 might see because I did too. Like, I love to work. 567 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,240 I love to be busy. I love to set a goal and run 568 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:28,880 towards that goal. And so I was telling my mom like 569 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:33,160 five years ago when I was still in beauty sales, I hated my job. 570 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,040 I, I thought I was the laziest person. 571 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,880 I barely worked. I mean, I'd still make good 572 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,760 money, but like, I was doing the bare minimum, right? 573 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:46,560 And I remember always thinking to myself, like, you're so lazy, 574 00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,200 like you barely do anything. But then the moment that I got 575 00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:52,600 in God's will, I'm like, I love what I. 576 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,920 Do right? I love going to work every day, 577 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:56,800 I and it's. Easy. 578 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,640 And it's easy. And you always hear people say 579 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:03,000 like, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your 580 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,320 life. And it's like you're still going 581 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:09,360 to have days like December. I was screaming and crying up 582 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:13,800 here saying how bad my life was. And I had to take a break. 583 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,640 And I hit my. Floor and it again. 584 00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:19,640 I hit my first like burnout people say, you know, burnouts 585 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,560 real, ministry burnouts real. And like I was like how I love 586 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:26,320 working for the Lord. I love this Kingdom work and 587 00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:28,480 like I hit it and I understand it now. 588 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,080 And so now I am trying to do better. 589 00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:35,240 Like we're going through the series enough and enough doesn't 590 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:40,320 have to just be physical things like money and stuff like that. 591 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,920 Enough could be your time. Like you have enough on your, 592 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,920 your mental state. Yes, your mental like you have 593 00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:48,920 enough going on. You don't have to keep adding 594 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:50,680 because sometimes it is self-inflicted. 595 00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:53,920 We're just here's my plate. What else can you add on it? 596 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,960 Oh, you want me to do this? Yep, perfect what? 597 00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:59,600 Yep, perfect. And so we're adding those 598 00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,400 things. And so when we're Sunday 599 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:06,200 morning, I get a text from like somebody I do side work for and 600 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,560 he's like, hey, or she said, hey, do you want to pick up the 601 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:11,960 shop or something? I was like, enough is enough. 602 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,280 And I sent a picture of the screen and I was like, Nope, I'm 603 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,800 good. And so learning boundaries truly 604 00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,920 is a part of surrender for me because because I love doing 605 00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,200 things. Yeah, at it. 606 00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:26,720 It's the small things in life that you don't realize, that you 607 00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:30,200 don't get over to the Lord. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is 608 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,520 that we always think of the big things, but really our life is 609 00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:35,320 more consumed with the smaller things. 610 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,400 Yeah, because the snowball effect is like I always talk 611 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,840 about it in the sin, like small sins lead to big sins, and it 612 00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:43,880 just keeps growing and growing until your life's out of 613 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:47,320 control. But the snowball effect is also 614 00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:49,840 sanctification. Surrender those small things, 615 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,200 give up those small things and watch how the big things start 616 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,960 changing. Like don't try to quit vaping, 617 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,600 smoking and doing all this stuff all in one day, right? 618 00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:01,360 I would love for you to. Not saying no, but. 619 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,880 At the same time that you can't, Yeah, you just got to listen to. 620 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:08,680 Lord, just start small, like don't feel because I Remember Me 621 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,440 and you both like we're like we can't go the rest of our lives 622 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,640 without drinking literally like I might can get through today 623 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,480 and tomorrow, maybe tomorrow's Fridays. 624 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,240 I'm like, I know we'll have. To start back over Monday. 625 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:22,400 We don't. Yeah, I'm gonna start back over, 626 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,000 but, you know, truly get through today. 627 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,160 One day at the time. Yeah, for sure. 628 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,920 So cliche, but so. It's powerful, powerful. 629 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,640 What it can do. It really is That's that's 630 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,560 what's gotten me and Dexter so far. 631 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,920 Where we are is we just started with one thing. 632 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,640 Yeah. We didn't start, you know, 633 00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:47,000 reading our Bible every morning time and doing all of the things 634 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,680 a part of life group serving at church that next Monday. 635 00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:54,520 We decided it on Sunday. It all came at the Lord placed 636 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,240 it in our life. But we started with saying, yes, 637 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:02,960 Lord, we just know we want you and that's it. 638 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:06,520 And then he placed on our heart, OK, no more drinking. 639 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,280 And we started there and that's it. 640 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:12,000 And then from there, everything else daily we started just 641 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,000 saying to him, yes, Lord, OK, what do you want us to do? 642 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:16,520 What do you want for our marriage? 643 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:20,440 What do you see for our life? And that's how you we got to 644 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,360 where we are today. That's how you got to where you 645 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:24,360 are today. That's how anyone gets to where 646 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,800 they are in the sanctification process and daily surrendering 647 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,680 everything to him. Because if you can look back in 648 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:36,880 your life and see how far you've come, that's how you know. 649 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:42,440 Because if you can see true change, like then I think Pat 650 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,120 talked about this on his episode. 651 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:47,760 When you can look back and see that your life is completely 652 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:51,680 different, it's how you kind of know somebody saved absolutely 653 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,960 how you know. It's real and you know, you're 654 00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,520 talking about making the choice and stuff. 655 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:57,960 And so I said this in the welcome the other day is like 656 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,160 Sunday's church is a Saturday's choice. 657 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,960 Well, tomorrow's take that, take church out of it. 658 00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:08,639 Tomorrow is today's choice. So to start like tonight when 659 00:34:08,639 --> 00:34:10,880 you go to bed, Lord, tomorrow's a new day. 660 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,440 Your mercies are new every single morning. 661 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,320 Let me walk into what you have for me. 662 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:21,480 If you're if you messed up today, dragon tomorrow like we 663 00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:25,400 have, we have this time, OK? We don't know when the time he 664 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,760 ends. We don't know when it's over. 665 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:30,480 But if you get woken up, you still have time to chase after 666 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:32,400 God's will because he still has a plan for you. 667 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,920 So like you, you might have messed up today. 668 00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:37,480 You might be listening to this and you're like, what do I do? 669 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:38,480 Like I've been messed up and I think. 670 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:42,960 We're talking to in the sense for somebody that has already 671 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,000 given their heart to the Lord but is still working on that 672 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:50,600 sanctification process now, you know, trying to start over daily 673 00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:54,199 and do things daily. I think first what? 674 00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:56,600 Were you talking about surrendering to the Lord the 675 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,320 whole time? Like you're like surrender date 676 00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:05,200 and you know, like you surrender your life to the Lord, So your 677 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:07,840 salvation date, right? Is that what you've been talking 678 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:08,320 about? No. 679 00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,040 OK. No, I'm talking about just daily 680 00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,200 surrender. Like I know what you're saying. 681 00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:15,960 Yeah, yeah, is yeah, but I I'm saying I just want the viewer, 682 00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,280 the listeners to understand like that is for somebody and it not 683 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,120 get confused for study that has that's gotten saved. 684 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,040 Yes, like you got to get saved and then that signification 685 00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,640 process happens because if you haven't even given your heart to 686 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:32,800 the Lord and gotten saved, yeah, that that is, that's where you 687 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,480 start. That's where that's where you 688 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,240 start. Yeah, you got to start there. 689 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:39,680 Yep, you got. To do it all. 690 00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:42,520 And here's the thing that I wanted to point out. 691 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:47,440 I did say the prayer before and it didn't take root. 692 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:50,440 No, like, you know, hold on, let me see. 693 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,080 It's Matthew. About the seeds. 694 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:54,600 Matthew 13. Three about the seeds. 695 00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:59,880 Yeah, this was my wife. So I have said the prayer 696 00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:03,120 before. I was, I think, 15 or 16 at the 697 00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,480 time, and there was no life change. 698 00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:08,880 Yeah, there was none. And I said the prayer and I 699 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,280 thought I was saved. So if I was listening to you and 700 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,000 I heard you say, you know, start over every day, it would be 701 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,200 daily. I mean, I would I would struggle 702 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:22,640 daily until I truly got saved because the Lord knows your 703 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:23,800 heart. And we've talked about this. 704 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,480 This is like kind of the conversation me and Dexter had 705 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:34,080 about being saved in works. But yeah, so I mean, when you 706 00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:39,040 truly get saved, the Lord knows your heart and that well, when 707 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,560 the Spirit enters you, we'll help you through that 708 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:44,480 sanctification process. So I don't want that anybody to 709 00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,320 get infused about that. Does that make sense? 710 00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:47,720 Yeah, 'cause Oh yeah, you lured that up. 711 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:50,720 All those things are. So heavy, like if you haven't 712 00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,240 completely correct your life to the Lord because I've said the 713 00:36:53,240 --> 00:36:54,560 same. Thing you're trying to work 714 00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:57,280 through it worldly. Yeah, you're trying to fix it. 715 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,240 It is the way. The world is natural, correct? 716 00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:01,320 Yeah. The way that you have this 717 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,000 sanctification process is supernatural because it's not. 718 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,520 100% it's the Holy Spirit residing inside of you. 719 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,320 It has to activate. Yes, activate. 720 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,800 Yes, for sure. No, I really did. 721 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:16,880 When you said that, I was like. 'Cause I wrote down Galatians 722 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,720 220, I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but 723 00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:23,240 Christ lives in me. So if Christ is not living in 724 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:26,640 you, you cannot pull this off. No, you cannot pull off the 725 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:30,440 sanctification process because again, that is us just trying to 726 00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:35,080 become more Christ like daily and Him residing in US and us 727 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:37,720 feeding Him more than we feed our flesh. 728 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:41,320 Absolutely. But that's what I was saying. 729 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,440 I just remember when I had said that prayer and my heart wasn't 730 00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:46,160 100% in it. No. 731 00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:48,920 And so that seed didn't take roots. 732 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,760 They sent me words because I mean, I, I could have sworn when 733 00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:56,240 I when I was in high school, but then I'll look back and I was at 734 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,560 a party the night before I got baptized. 735 00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,760 Like I was just like, probably didn't feel good, you know. 736 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,160 And so I thought it was genuine though. 737 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,160 But then I'll look back and I'm like, it wasn't, I didn't know 738 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,200 the Lord and the Lord did not know me, right? 739 00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:15,240 Because I read the other day and somebody just in my life has 740 00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:20,160 come. What is it like she surrendered 741 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:22,400 her life to the Lord this past summer. 742 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,720 And one of the things that has been said is like as a 743 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:29,400 relationship with Jesus Christ has got me far more than what 744 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:32,680 religion ever has. And so that cooked. 745 00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,480 I'm like, yes, like now you're getting it. 746 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:38,840 Like we can say we go to church, we can say all these things like 747 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,240 just like the Pharisees, it was religion for them. 748 00:38:41,240 --> 00:38:44,040 It wasn't a relationship with Jesus Christ. 749 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,360 They. Were that when you were at our 750 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,320 house? No, but it did tie in and you 751 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:53,720 triggered my thought process of like, it's not about the rules. 752 00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:57,680 It's not about those things. Sin looks like freedom until you 753 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,080 try to stop. So your life looks like you are 754 00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,520 free as can be. Try to stop smoking. 755 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:05,080 Yeah, try to stop cussing. Try to stop doing all these 756 00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:07,720 things that you are enjoying. Doing when you don't have the 757 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:10,480 Spirit in you. You're in bondage over it. 758 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,800 And so once you do come to the Lord, it's not about those 759 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,240 rules. No, you're not going to want to 760 00:39:16,240 --> 00:39:18,680 continue to live that life because the Holy Spirit don't 761 00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,680 want to live that life. And he's living inside of you. 762 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,400 He this is his temple. And so you're going to start 763 00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,800 making these changes and realizing you're free. 764 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,680 Like you are truly free. Yeah, for sure. 765 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,280 I'm telling you, that's good. It's good to be free. 766 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:34,680 It is. It is. 767 00:39:34,720 --> 00:39:38,560 You cannot, yeah. You can't have you can't have 768 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,880 surrender, you can't have sanctification without him 769 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:41,880 first. Yeah. 770 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,440 Because otherwise it's just religion, yeah. 771 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,440 For sure. And when you if that feels like 772 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:51,440 you can't figure out the difference, because I used to 773 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,280 tell her all the time, she'd be like, it's just so religious, 774 00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,520 like blah, blah, blah. Like I am religious and I'm 775 00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,080 like, stop saying that. Yeah. 776 00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,360 And she couldn't figure out why I kept saying that. 777 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:04,520 And I'm like, you're pursuing this relationship with Jesus 778 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,640 Christ. When you put religion with it, 779 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,640 that's when it sounds like. This is a box and I'm putting 780 00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:13,800 myself in. This is a one way St. between 781 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,720 you and the Lord. Just a relationship. 782 00:40:15,720 --> 00:40:17,640 It's. Just a relationship just like 783 00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,160 you and your friends, you know, like, have those conversations 784 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,680 with him, like the struggles that you're having, the things 785 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,440 that you are desperately wanting to surrender that you don't know 786 00:40:27,440 --> 00:40:29,560 how to have that conversation. Yeah. 787 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:32,560 That is, with the person that's already surrendered their life 788 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:33,320 to Christ. Right. 789 00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,160 Yeah, that's good. All right. 790 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:38,520 And one other thing I wanted to touch on. 791 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:42,120 All right, that I wrote, I don't know where we are time wise is 792 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,720 not long, but you had kind of talked about it when you were 793 00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:49,520 going through struggles and I've been recently going through so 794 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,720 much the past year. I feel like but God can use 795 00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:58,040 trials and sanctification is what I wrote because we forget 796 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:04,080 that a lot of times our trials in life is really what is more 797 00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:06,160 of the sanctification process and molding us. 798 00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:09,040 Where the that's where the 1st. News correct. 799 00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:15,920 I wrote that here is but I just the testing of your faith 800 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:20,480 produces perseverance and I put trials refine us. 801 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,840 They're there to refine us, not punish us because a lot of times 802 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:27,520 like this last year, I really have felt like, God, are you 803 00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,680 punishing me? Like, what is going on? 804 00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:34,480 I feel like I've, you know, tried to be so obedient. 805 00:41:34,480 --> 00:41:36,600 Maybe I'm missing the mark. What is going on? 806 00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:39,440 Lord, show me my heart, show me my ways. 807 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,400 But it it really is just to refine us most of the time. 808 00:41:43,680 --> 00:41:47,400 And it can renew and it's really to renew and I think strengthen 809 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:50,560 our faith and I put which produces fruit of his nature in 810 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,440 our lives. Yeah, because I mean, it is 811 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,400 isn't an even flow or an ebb and flow. 812 00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:01,600 Is it an even flow? Like though up and down of the 813 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:04,920 Christian walk, somebody said it, it was Sharmell and I 814 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:07,080 couldn't tell what she said. And I wanted to be like, can you 815 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,120 say that again? But either even flow, ebb and 816 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:15,440 flow ebb and whatever it is the flow because like I just think 817 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,520 about December when I'm screaming and crying, I'm going 818 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,640 through it right. January feeling good, feeling 819 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,600 great back on top. And this past month I'm like 820 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:27,720 like I just can't catch a break. Like and it's not even to the 821 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:30,880 point where like it's big things that are happening, but it's 822 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:35,720 like sometimes you feel like God, am I just like not in your 823 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,640 will? Like why are these things 824 00:42:37,640 --> 00:42:40,520 happening like? Right, that's how I felt. 825 00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:46,480 What am I doing wrong where I can't get on my feet or like I 826 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:48,320 can't? Hit a like I'm thinking 827 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,440 constantly. Yeah, because like, nothing's 828 00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,000 like seriously happened. But it's just like, it just 829 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,080 doesn't feel like I'm going in the right direction. 830 00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:59,200 So I'm like running into walls, running in walls, and it's like, 831 00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:00,840 OK, this is what I'm talking about. 832 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,600 Lord, open all the doors that need to be open and shut all the 833 00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:06,440 doors that may be shut. And then it happens, the door 834 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,480 shuts and I'm like, wait, I wanted to go through that door, 835 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,600 but the Lord's already saying like, no, you told me to shut 836 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,160 the doors that are supposed to be shut. 837 00:43:14,200 --> 00:43:16,240 So. Yeah, it's just a lot. 838 00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:18,360 It is. It's hard. 839 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,880 It's just hard when you sign up for this life. 840 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:25,200 It's not easy. But most rewarding? 841 00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:30,560 The best thing? Yeah, I like truly do not miss 842 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,880 my old life there. There are things that like I'll 843 00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,160 think about and I'm like, man, I miss that person. 844 00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,840 You know, like these those nights that I thought that I was 845 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,480 having so much fun, I'm like, that wasn't even fun. 846 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:47,160 It wasn't even what I like. You just can't explain it. 847 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:49,680 But when you come to this side of the Lord and you start 848 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,760 walking it out, you're running full like it is truly. 849 00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:54,840 You can't describe it. Yeah, it's truly. 850 00:43:54,920 --> 00:44:00,280 Anything worth having is not easy, and it is 100% worth 851 00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:05,080 having a relationship with Jesus Christ all day every day, 100% 852 00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:10,400 And it's not going to be easy to have and and to to maintain like 853 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,720 what we're talking about daily. And I mean, in the crushing, in 854 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:18,040 the pressing, that's when that new wine is made, not the wine 855 00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:21,400 that we that we used to be drinking, getting drunk, but 856 00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,640 like new wine is being made when we are going through these 857 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,600 trials, we're going through these things that are really 858 00:44:27,600 --> 00:44:29,880 like feels. Heavy. 859 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:33,960 That's where he's pressing, That's when he's working our 860 00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,200 life, that's when he's molding us and shaping. 861 00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,440 Us and that's when we need to be listening the most cooked even 862 00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,200 though it's. The hardest, yes, absolutely. 863 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:43,960 I think that's good. What you like Yeah. 864 00:44:44,120 --> 00:44:47,280 All right, Well, guys, I. Hope you just to chat and we 865 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,280 were. This was good. 866 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:52,360 Maybe we can record like in 30 minutes, record another episode, 867 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:53,320 right? No. 868 00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:55,280 All right, guys. Well, stay tuned. 869 00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,000 Stay blessed, and we'll see you guys later. 870 00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:57,920 Thanks. Bye.