What is good, people? Welcome to the Light Minds
podcast. Today's episode I'm joined by
Steve Gordon, a kettlebell athlete, strength conditioning
coach, and owner of his own gym for nearly 17 years.
But before all of that, Steve was a 19 year old boy getting
into trouble, about to become a dad, and facing the reality of
what his decisions have caused him.
That part of his life has shaped everything he does today and the
man that he's become. It's a great example of how the
journey to success is sometimes a bit messy.
It's a little bit turbulent, but you can choose to turn it around
if you make that decision. If you haven't already, I'd love
for you to either comment, share, or subscribe to the show.
I want this platform to be a hub for men sharing their stories
and being living examples of how you can turn shit around no
matter what you're going through.
There are so many great examples out there and so many great
stories just like this one. I don't want to share it as much
as I can, but without further ado, please welcome Steve.
Steve, welcome to the podcast. How are we doing?
You all right? I'm doing very well.
How are you? Yeah, not bad, not bad at all.
Good stuff, looking forward to this conversation.
I get started with every episode asking my guests what is a like
minded person to you? So what sort of traits or
characteristics would someone that's like minded be for you?
So. Someone who's willing to sort of
take on other bits of information, learn from as many
people as possible, except that they don't know everything and
that's actually a good thing, and seek constantly seeking out
questions and answers from people that they don't always
agree with but respect their opinion, you know.
So yeah, I'd probably say that's probably what I would say a like
minded person is. Do you know?
Nice. I think I needed someone to
scream that in my face when I was younger that I don't have
all the answers and I don't know everything as much as I would
turn around and say that I do. For the people who don't know
you, haven't seen your stuff before, a little bit of a
background story of of who you are and what you do.
Yeah, so I'm a kettlebell sport athlete and coach.
People won't even know what kettlebell sport is, but
basically it's an Olympic weightlifting, the endurance
form using kettlebells. I've been coaching that specific
sport for over 14 years now. Alongside that, I'm a strength
and conditioning coach working with various different sports,
various different athletes. And this all came about and I
always put an emphasis on the word coach because I think that
is a title that has to be earned and it's a calling.
It's when you get a degree in strength and conditioning, it
doesn't say BSE in a strength and conditioning coach.
It just says BSE in strength and conditioning.
The same as when you do any sort of accreditation or whatever it
may be. Very few times it says coach and
I think the reason why I ended up on that path was various
things that happened throughout my life.
So I just wanted to make emphasise that that that coach
aspect for me. But based in the northeast,
Darlington in between kind of Middlesbrough and and Newcastle.
So way up there where it's constantly cold, constantly
raining. But the band is always strong,
it's always good. And like I say, coaching is
something that I do on a daily basis.
It's something I'm highly passionate about and I had a
conversation with my 16 year old daughter at the weekend and
she's actually gone into coaching through swimming and
she was telling me some of the things that she does with her
her group. And it made me smile because it
made me realise that she has listened over the years.
She'll probably never admit some of the ideas and the things that
she uses alike from me, but it was just really cool to hear it
asking oh, I use this and I use this in my sessions.
I'm like, yeah, because I've been using that with you.
And your. From day one do you know so
which is really really cool which hit me back but yeah
kettlebell sport coach and athlete for for over for 14
years now and I've had my own gym in the Northeast for 1617
years now time flies when you're having fun I suppose yeah for.
Sure. What is your What is your
definition of coach? Coach is somebody who can help
guide somebody to the right answers, whatever problem that
is that they are facing. So obviously you have specialist
coaches who obviously mine is within sport, but very much a
lot of the time coaching is helping somebody find the right
answers. And that's very different to
somebody who's like a mentor, who's giving you the specific
knowledge of like, right, we're going to do this.
And if you do this, you will get this, you will get that.
Now, obviously coaching and mentoring the the kind of blend
because when you're teaching someone, for example, the
athletes, you teach them how to do a lift or whatever it may be.
But the thing on the back end, the conversation on the back end
is coaching them to understand why they're doing it, why they
need to give it their absolute 100% effort and how this is
going to have an impact on their journey and their life and their
goal that they want to achieve. So that's what's, that's what
kind of a coach is to me. Somebody will guide you to the
answers that you're searching within your own journey, you
know. Yeah, I always used to say when
I was doing personal training that it was a partnership, not a
dictatorship. I don't know where I heard that
from. I probably should go and try and
Fact Check it somewhere, but I had Lewis Potts on the podcast
and he his his OPSO was about coaching very passionate.
He literally gave him a little bit always the, the the term
give someone a bit of rope and they just ran with it probably
butchered that. But yeah, he is very passionate
about coaching. And he was essentially saying
that most people today are just like instructors that
instructors, they're just telling people what to do.
Like you said there with the mentorship, it's like, do this,
get this result. And do you feel like coaching is
kind of a, a dying art where we've got AI now where everyone
can just kind of get the information, just be told?
Yeah, and, and I think the, The thing is, is we've, we've, we've
got information overload, obviously AI, ChatGPT, whatever,
whatever platform you're using, they've kind of taken the step
away of, of learning the why behind things, you know, and
because people want answers quickly.
But as we all know, every overnight success has a decade
of work in front of them. And but that's the beauty of the
process. A coach will always know that
some pitfalls are coming and they're going to help you get
over them when they arrive. But people want to go from A to
B very, very quickly. Whereas a coach will help you
will be there and navigate and help you get round the path.
And because people are so used to getting things at the drop of
a hat, whether that be takeaways, whether that be, you
know, information on their phone, whatever it may be,
everything is 100 mile an hour now.
It's the appreciation for the process.
And I I find that's probably one of the most challenging things I
have with my youth athletes now is educating them on, listen,
it's going to be tough. Like you're going to fail,
you're going to have challenges, you're going to have setbacks,
but that is completely normal, you know, and sometimes you have
to just embrace that failure to get through to the other side
because the failures are what presents the lessons.
Because if it's all easy, then you're not actually growing.
And I find them they, they really struggle with that and
they really struggle with the questioning around, oh, why are
you doing this? Why are you doing that?
I don't know. I just, I just am, I just just
am, you know, very much because even in school now, because
everybody school, school system in the UK, obviously we know
measured on GCSEs and pass fails, bandwidths and stuff like
that, grading criteria, it's very much they're taught how to
pass an exam. So if you follow this, you will
get this outcome and that's great in a linear world, but as
we know, it's not a linear world and actually not every kid will
respond very well to that. So they really struggle when you
start coaching them and, and sort of going, well, why do you
think that happened? What do you knowing what you
know now? What could you do differently?
That great question I get asked regularly.
And, and they really struggle with that because they, they
just, they almost want you. Well, just tell me what to do.
And I, I always refrain from doing that because I don't want
to rob somebody of the aha moment, the penny drop moment
of, oh, that's why that happened.
Because if I rob somebody of that, I rob them of the, the
lessons that are going to move them forward when these things
come back up again. Because that's what for me,
sport is the last one of the last things that we have in
teaching kids safely about the how difficult life is.
You know, in sport you have to become a good communicator, even
if that's just listening, you know, you have to read the room,
you have to turn up regularly. You have to go through stuff
that is not enjoyable. It kind of embrace the circ, if
you will. You will often do things over
long periods and not get the feet, not get the results you
want, but you've just got to keep showing up.
Like all these little lessons that we learn in sport and
physical activity is one of the last things that I think is
still readily available where we can teach kids about failure,
etcetera, in a safe environment because they don't really get
that anywhere else in my opinion.
And what I'm, I'm seeing within schools and et cetera, et
cetera, day-to-day life, because everything's quite safe and
controlled. Rightly so.
We want to keep kids safe, but there's no exposure to the, what
happens when, when it hits the fan, how are you going to handle
that? And we see, I see kids now they
get to 1718 and adversity comes and they don't know what to do.
Whereas sport is one of those things that teaches you how to
handle adversity when it comes your way.
It's that adapt, you've got to overcome, you've got to move
around, what happens, etcetera, etcetera.
So I'm very passionate about the sport aspect and especially with
the youth of today. And it's not necessarily doing a
team sport or anything like that.
Kettlebell sport is very much a solo sport, but also just the
gym environment. You know, you get a kid who just
wants to get stronger on bench press and squats and stuff like
that. It's like, mate, you've got to
turn up and you won't PB every session.
Sometimes you're just going to have to do some boring stuff,
some mobility, you're going to have to do some rehab.
If you get injured, you're going to have to eat right, you can
have to sleep right. All these little micro lessons
that transcend other areas of life.
I think it's very, very important, you know, And if I
can coach people on that and helping people, then it does
have a great success. Then that's what I'm in it for,
you know? Yeah, I think kids are now being
conditioned to not learn those lessons through sport or just
generally through being outside. It's it's where.
So a couple of thoughts that were going from my mom when
you're talking about that was the idea of like social media,
everything's online, everything's quick, everything's
like dopamine in order to get the positive feedback that they
want or overcome the the obstacle that they're trying to
overcome. It's like that.
It's a scroll away, it's a video away.
It's something to kind of satisfy their need.
So that's like one part of it. And then the second part of it
is related to the first where they're so hooked on the social
media aspect that they're now not going outside and they're
not going to the sports clubs. They're not taking up the
sports, but they're not actually just going outside to almost
like play. And I feel like even that would
give you a bit of a, a feedback loop as to don't go and do this,
don't speak to the stranger this way because they might like try
and do something to you or whatever, like all these kind of
random things. And it's kind of removing the
aspect, like you said there in sports where you have to go and
like play the long game where you can put in all the work that
you want and still not get the result.
And yeah, I think I think it's just a a movement that needs to
be spoken about a lot more. I had Stephen Kinzeler on the
podcast to him. He does a lot of mindset stuff.
Is that what's what you do as well with?
Like working with kids mindset. No so well, very much
subliminally it's not something that'll go around and target.
It's it's very much of it just happens in conversations and
stuff. So a perfect example, one of my
young, young athletes, Izzy, she's she's a phenomenal
footballer. I've been coaching her for good
few years now and she's she's on, she's on the pathway doing
some great stuff for the national set up and, and playing
up. And it's always been a
challenge. And it's simple things like when
I'm coaching through a SNC session, it's very much of A
how's it going, how you're handling it?
What can you do differently? I, I didn't like being played in
this position. I don't get it.
I don't. But how can you make that your
advantage? Because ultimately the goal of
football is how can you have the biggest impact on the team?
How can you have the biggest impact on those around her?
And again, that was that penny drop moment of I might not be
playing in my preferred position, but I can still have a
massive impact on those around me and that team because I want
that drive to succeed and I want to win.
So if the team wins, I win, right?
You know, and, and very much managing injuries around that.
What is it an opportunity? What is the injury?
Is it if it's feedback, it's feedback on what maybe we need
to scale back, we need to recover harder than we're
training. That's when the nutrition stuff
comes in and stuff like so very much when stuff happens, whether
that be an injury, you know, illness, school, stress,
whatever it may be, it's always asking about those questions on
how we're going to get over it. Because we can sit and we can
complain and we can moan and gripe, etcetera, etcetera.
And sometimes you need that. Sometimes you just need to get
it out there. But if you don't have a plan of
how you're going to come overcome that, you're just going
to end up being stuck of just complaining and gripe.
And then now it's going to dictate your mood in that
situation, which is then going to dictate what happens in other
aspects and areas of your life because everything's it's not in
silos, you know, everything's interdependent, all mixes in as
one. So very much rather than like of
Steven does some amazing work and targets that mindset.
My conversations just arrived from the actual training
process, whether that be an SSC session, whether that be a
sports massage or whether that be the the care about sport
training sessions and stuff like that.
It's very much always just trying to have the
conversations. And nine times out of 10, that
always happens with how's your day been?
And then just pausing. And then even when they respond,
I'll just pause and just look at them and I'll go.
You sure? And they're like, yeah, Are you
sure? Yeah.
OK then. Right.
You know, and just letting them know that if they need to talk,
if then if they've got something bothering them, you know, they
can open up and we'll overcome it together and we'll try and
find different ways of solving it.
And we always relate it back to the sport because guess what?
The sport already is already giving you the tools.
You know, sometimes, like you have a problem in your house, if
you've got a garage full of tools, you're already halfway
there fixing it, right? You just need to learn how to
fix the problem. Whereas if you don't have the
tools, if you've never learnt anything, I overcome adversity
or whatever it may be, then that's even harder.
That's going to prolong the problem.
Then you're going to go out and you find these tools and you
learn and you get it. Then I need to apply that to the
problem, you know? So very much like that's what I
always try and do, link it back to the sport because I've got a
reference point of, Oh yeah, I remember when I did that, how
can I take that into this problem that I'm facing now?
So yeah, that's the way I kind of work and it's having some
good fun. We're having some good successes
and I enjoy it. And I'm enjoying being able to
say to the kids like, listen, I've made all the mistakes under
the sun. Everything that you're saying to
me right now I have. I'm just a little bit further
down the path. I've made all the mistakes.
Just don't make the mistake. Same mistakes I did.
Or if you do, this is what this is going to help.
This is going to be the situation.
This is going to be the outcome. So what?
What's LED you into what you're doing now?
Where's all this interest and mindset come from?
So I, I've sort of traced this back in like 2015, I was exposed
to kind of personal development. It sounds so fluffy, doesn't it?
But yeah, very much like it's not about the sets and reps My,
my, one of my mentors within strength and conditioning and
coaches was Brendan Chaplin. And he exposed me to the, the,
the phrase, it's not about the sets and reps.
So what he meant by that is you could have the best programme in
the world, but it's the conversations, it's the grey
area and everything else that happens.
That's what makes a programme successful, you know, and we'll
look at any successful sports teams and they all talk about
culture, you know, they all talk about being all his worn and
coherence, etcetera, etcetera. So on that journey, I reflected
back and go, why am I so passionate about this?
Why do I want to learn this coaching?
Why do I want to sink into this? Because it just made sense and
it highlighted that through key areas of my life, there's always
been a a male role model who has helped me in some form or
another. So if I go back to secondary
school, you know, typical 1314 year old lad, confused, don't
even know what's going on. You've got all of this energy.
It typically shows itself as anger and moodiness, etcetera,
etcetera. Everything's changing.
What's going on? I'm no longer a kid.
I want to be an adult. I want to be trapped like an
adult, even though being an adult sucks at times.
But you don't know that. You want to know.
Yeah. And I'm big, I'm strong, I'm
tough and all of that. And then it was my physics
teacher. And this guy was like, built
like a wardrobe. Like huge guy.
Do you know Mr Wardle and great guy?
And he encouraged me because I was one of these guys that was I
acted like the class clown or acted like I didn't care.
I was like too cool for school. And all it was was I was scared
to get something wrong. So if I act like an idiot and
I'm like, oh, I don't care. I don't care.
I'll get I'll either get chucked out the class or I'll just get
left to it. But at least I won't be wrong.
At least people won't be looking at me for getting something
wrong. That's all it was.
It was a fear of being wrong. And he he encouraged me to start
going to the gym and then I did. And over the six weeks holiday,
you know, the, you know, the good old days was when you just
six weeks and you know, I would go to the gym like twice a day.
And it was an old school bodybuilders type gym and there
was nothing but great blokes in there just lifting old school,
you know, clanging and banging type stuff.
And. I came back and I was like a
different person. He was like, see, I told you
this is what happens when you channel your energy into
something. And then halfway through year
11, I stopped going to the gym and I started getting angry.
I started getting this pent up energy again and stuff like
that. And he pulled me at one side.
He said, you haven't been to the gym, have you?
He was like, I was like, no, he's like, you can tell.
He said you just you've got all this energy and you're not
directing it anywhere. And then the person who's losing
out is you. This is who it's costing.
It's not if I, if you don't go to the gym, it's not affecting
me, It's affecting you. And I remember I didn't act upon
a time, there was a time when they were saying, right, Stee,
you got to do single science and single science and said, oh,
that double science was basically the higher grade.
And the teacher came, one of the head of departments came and
said, we're dropping you down. And then Mr Wald turned around
and was like, Are you sure you want to do that?
I was like, well, what's the difference?
He was like the teacher who came in was like, well, one's an hour
paper, I think, or an hour 15. The other one's a 2 hour paper.
Like give me the one hour 15, you know, like, but it was that
look of like, mate, you're wasting potential.
You've chose the easy option and that's just not what you're
about. You know, he didn't, he didn't
say that. But I just, looking back, I was
like, Nah, that was it. And it, it happened.
I ended up coasting through year 11 because I wasn't challenged,
because I took the easy options. You know, I remember maths say,
well, you sit there and finish all my work within 10 minutes
and the teacher was like, do your work.
I was like, I have, and I would just like, and that stopped me
getting a higher grade and stuff like that.
But I, I chose the easy option and, and that was like a little
bit of a, a theme. And then later in life, you
know, started discovering, oh, I can go out on a weekend and I
can get drunk and I can go to the football and I can surround
myself with like minded individuals who were really just
living for the weekend, going out, looking away, venting and
running away from something. Or just, you know, getting
sucked up into the, the party lifestyle, going to football
matches. And I discovered that at like
1516. And that was my then life of
like 5-6 years. I was going through a building
apprenticeship just about to qualify.
My mate said, oh, get a job at ALDI warehouse, it pays £13.00
an hour. Within six months left before I
finished my apprenticeship, I dropped out and just went and
worked in a warehouse. You know, that short term gain,
long term pain type stuff. Still going out on the weekend
and partying. And but when I was in the
warehouse, I got introduced to a guy, real nice guy, Charlie, and
he was a Thai boxer and he was like, why didn't you come along?
I'm like, yeah, cool. You know, everybody thinks
they're hard done. They're at like 19.
You know, I punch punch bags. I punch pads.
Yeah, I'm the hardest man in the room, that kind of thing.
So I was like, yeah, yeah, I want to look to do something.
So I went along there and I remember it was like a dark like
October night. You know, it was also always
raining. It's dark by like 5:00,
miserable, you know, might be like November time, you know,
just grim. I remember driving there,
introduced me to his friend. We're driving there in the van
and I walked in and then just got assaulted by this smell of
Thai oil like Dean Pete. But like, wow, waking into like
smelling salts, this freezing cold gym and it was in a little
rundown industrial estate. And then they introduced me to
the coach and this guy came out with the biggest smile on his
face and was just like shook my hand and, you know, shook my
hand and then hugged me at the same time.
The first time I've ever met him and was just instantly like just
made me feel good. And he was warm, welcoming.
It was like, you know, just like being accepting to one of the
family and stuff. And then all of these other
individuals were coming in different backgrounds.
People were, some people were accountants, some people worked
in warehouse, some people mechanics and students,
teachers, etcetera, etcetera. And we're all in this place and
we're all just running laps around the mats and then we're
warming up, warming up, warming up.
And I never, I never forget that moment because that was when
Paul made me realise that you can have a direct impact on how
someone's feeling purely by your presence.
And I was like, that is ridiculously cool.
That is, that is like a superpower.
Like you should be able to like buy that, you know what I mean?
Ish that out. So I started Thai boxing and I
was loving it. I was loving it.
And I was sort of in that transition of going into that
lifestyle, but still living the old lifestyle of going out on a
weekend, getting to Friday, spending your wages, taking
drugs. And then that led me into a path
of selling drugs. And you know, just in that
cycle, because what people don't, what people don't think
of is when you get caught in that cycle, it's kind of rinse
and repeat, especially when you start kind of selling drugs.
The level I was, it wasn't a lot, you know, it basically
would pay for my nights out. But once you do your first one,
you typically don't sell it all you owe, you owe your dealer.
So then you caught the cycle of just paying to make a bit of
money, but you caught in that cycle and cycling cycle.
And when I was caught in that cycle, I ended up selling to
undercover police. I didn't, I didn't know at the
time on three separate occasions.
So but then I'd I'd left that lifestyle and I was like, I'm
tie boxing's great. I love it.
Training, I was stopped going out and stuff like that.
And I was like, Paul's amazing. I want to be like that, that
bloke there. I just love being around him.
I was, I was addicted. I loved it.
And then I remember I was just about to go to work one day.
It was like half five in the morning, 6:00 in the morning, I
come out of my apartment on my bike and I remember I looked
over, there was this Vauxhall Zafira people carrier and there
was like 5 or 6 people sat in. It was like one of those seven
seat things and all these blokes just got out and I'm like,
what's going on here? You know, I was either going to
take a big kick in or something was going to happen.
So they grabbed all the bike, grabbed all the my wrist and
said, Stephen Gordon's like, yeah, you're under arrest for
suspicion of supply Class A. And like, at that moment, my
heart sank because I was also becoming to going to be a dad as
well. So I found out that Nevada's mum
was pregnant at that time. So that that accelerated the
shift, you know, from that lifestyle.
But then I was brought back to it, brought back right back into
it, you know, and that was like a real kick in the gut.
And, you know, they searched the house, you know, obviously
didn't find anything or whatever it may be and what have you.
So I had to go through all of that situation.
But I still kept training, still kept, kept going, still kept my
passion, love for it and stuff. And then, yeah, so many lessons.
I could, there's so many different ways I could divert
that, but and then obviously we'll, we'll come back to that.
But then I, I started doing fitness qualifications because I
was like, right, if you're going to do something, this is, this
was a warning from above or this was a course correction from
above. You know, whatever people want
to say about whether it's circumstance or whatever, I
truly believe somebody was like, listen, you are not destined for
this life. You might have found your
passion through Thai boxing and whatever it may be, but you're
still going to work in a warehouse, you're still working
that job which you're destined for something.
So I believe it was a course correction.
And in that time I started learning how to become APT and
getting my fitness qualifications and stuff like
that. And that all, all was down to
the impact that Paul had had on me of how you doing made me feel
amazed. And I was like, if I could make
people feel like that for as long as I'm living, if I could
be 1% of that, that's pretty cool, you know?
So that's the very long way of yeah, so good.
A great coach had an impact on me and that's what got me so
passionate about it, you know? Nice.
There's a lot of questions I've got here.
So I've got, I'll start from the beginning.
Where, what was the chip on the shoulder kind of like when you
were younger in school, you were saying, quite angry.
Where? Where was that all coming from?
And like I say, I think it was more just an identity crisis.
I think crisis probably not the right word.
Just not really knowing who I was, you know, and like a fear
of not fitting in or a fear of because, you know, it's like,
oh, what you're going to do when you leave school.
They start that at such a young age.
What? No, I just wanted to hang out
with my mates. I don't know what what you mean.
And as you get older, obviously your body's gone through all
these physiological changes as well.
So you actually hormones are flying through.
But it's always this conflict of you've changed from being a kid
with no real worries. And then people are like, oh,
you're an adult now, you know, even though you're not or you
want to be spoken to like an adult.
So people speak to you like you're an adult, but you've
never been shown anything. You automatically you've gone
from being a kid. Oh, it's just a kid to getting
judged by adult standards because you act like an adult.
You want to be spoken to like an adult, but nobody's shown you
how to be an adult. And I, I've caught myself doing
this many a time. You know, it's like when I say
to my daughter, like, why you, why you filling the dishwasher
up this way? Why you doing this?
It's like, you've never shown her.
Do you know what I mean? I'm, I'm judging her by my
standards, but I've never shown her how to act in that moment.
So who's in the wrong? It's obviously me.
And I think that's the thing, a lot of a lot of adults speak to
kids and teenagers specifically. They're like, OK, I'll meet them
where they're at. So then they get judged by an
adult standards. And I think that's where a lot
of it came from. You know, I want you, you want
to feel like you know everything.
All my answers are right and everything else like that.
But you don't know anything. You don't you had never
experienced it. And it all comes down to I just,
I don't want to get anything wrong.
I don't want to look stupid. So I'll act big and tough and
push people away and all this kind of stuff because I don't
want to get exposed that I don't know what I'm doing, you know,
And I think that's where a lot of it came from.
I didn't really know what I was meant to do, how I was meant to
act in certain situations and stuff like that.
And but also, I think every kid will go through this, but you're
also just learning your way, you know, you're making mistakes in
a safe environment, IE school. Yeah, you can this, this bad
things that can happen. But realistically, if you jumped
in, spoke to any of my school friends from back then, they
probably wouldn't remember half the stuff I did, you know, if I
were not, do you remember that time that I did this?
I'd be like, no, but in my mind, it's the worst thing in the
world, you know what I mean? But at that time, like, you
know, and I think that's, that's a lot of it's fear.
And whenever, whenever you feel afraid, what do you do?
You show emotion, right? And if you feel fearful, you've
either got to do 1 things. You can either run away and
hide, or you can act big and tough and have that bravado and
stuff like that. And that's your protective
mechanism. And I think that's where a lot
of it came from, you know? It's like a vicious cycle
really, because at that age, I mean, it depends on person to
person, but you kind of like form your own view of the world
or like you said there, if no one's shown you how to do
something, then you figure out how to do it yourself.
And well, if I've told, if I've figured out this, then I can
figure out anything. And then you kind of, if you're
not checked early on in life, that grows and grows and grows
and grows and grows. And that's me talking from like
my own life experience. I for a series of events,
probably from about age of 17, I felt very detached from like
parents, from like friends and everything.
I was just kind of figuring out myself.
I wouldn't like talk to anyone. I would just kind of like make
the mistakes. And someone said, don't do this.
I'd be like, fuck off. Like, what do you know?
And I just kind of figured these things out myself without
actually realising. I was digging myself into a
deeper and deeper and deeper hole because everything that I
thought about the world was inherently wrong.
But yeah, I just grew this chip on my shoulder like more and
more and more. So it's it's kind of a like a
dangerous playing field to get into.
Yeah. And I think ultimately if we
look at like human psychology and motivation and stuff, like
one of the biggest things in, in motivation and self
determination theory is autonomy, right?
So if that's a basic like psychological need is autonomy.
It's like I want control, so I won't control.
Even if I'm wrong, at least I'm wrong on my terms.
You know, a human being like doesn't want, nobody ever wants
to be told the wrong. You know, my missus tells me I'm
wrong a lot and I can categorically say I hate it, but
you're always right. But I hate being told I'm wrong.
But like, so as a kid, you always want to be right and
that's why you're trying to get the last word.
Even if I'm wrong, I'll still be right.
Even if I'm going to make this decision, it's my decision.
You can't take anything away from me.
This is my decision, even if it's the wrong 1.
And I think ultimately always, again, that comes back to that
aggression because I'm not confident in my decision, but
it's my decision, so I'm going to make it.
We'll see what happens. And all this is going in your
head, and all of a sudden from the outside, you're just looking
like this cool, calm, you know, aggressive kid who's just acting
like a bit of a Dick, you know? Yeah.
And did the Thai boxing environment kind of break that
down a little bit for you? Did you get called out on that
sort of stuff? Yeah, a little bit obviously got
checked. I mean there's nothing more
humbling than somebody just being able to punch you in the
face and kick you as hard as I want an actor from the females
in the room as well. So.
But I think realistic. One thing that I did learn from
the time of going out and stuff like that is because obviously
that is very hierarchical male. Like when you're going out and
you're living in that environment of going to the pub
and you're getting into fights and stuff like that.
That was my like grounding of somebody's going to call you out
on your crap. If they don't like what you say,
they're just going to smash in the face, you know?
And I learned that, but it was tie boxing allowed me to learn
that doesn't have to be the way you can take your aggression and
the things that you don't like in life and you can control it
and you can channel it and you can put it into something
positive because that's all that energy is.
Energy is just something it bottles up.
It'll either go in a positive direction or a negative
direction. But energy, it comes from
somewhere, right? And if you don't know how to
channel it, it's, it's going to come out in, in one form or
another. The football times taught me
like, that was like negative energy.
Even though it was like, I thought it was positive.
I thought it was good because I was having like a laugh with my
mates and stuff like that, whatever it may be.
And it was that camaraderie and it was that tribe.
But I was in the wrong tribe, you know, Whereas when I found
Thai boxing, it was channel energy into something positive.
It was if you do this, this is the outcome and it's a good
outcome. If you go out on a weekend and
get smashed, you wake up with a hangover, you haven't got a
penny in your pocket and you've just abused your body and you've
actually just put a full stop on any potential that you've just
built up throughout the week. And that's why it's very much
that stop, Start, Stop, start where it's small and tie box
allowed me, if I was able to see the compound effect at first I
couldn't, I couldn't kick, couldn't knee, couldn't punch.
I wasn't mobile enough. But if I kept on coming, I could
kick slightly better, I could punch slightly harder.
I was fitter. I was getting that compound
effect of constantly turning up. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah. And that, that's what that's
what I, I sort of really took away from tyre boxing is you've
got potential, you've got energy.
If you channel it into something good, you'll get something good
out of it. Yeah, that whole like weekend
cycle was something I was listening to in a podcast this
morning of like just self sabotaging.
And it's just like, again, I think it links back to what you
mentioned about control. It was like, they've made the
choice of going out and getting drunk.
They've made the choice. So at least then like I've kind
of decided to do that. And without realising that
they're on this like cycle of Monday.
Oh, I've got this dread, I've got this like anxiety.
By the time you get to Thursday, you feel like you're going to
sort your life out. And then it gets to Friday and
you're just like, oh, OK, well, you know what?
I just go back to to doing that thing and it becomes this
constant loop that you sort of never get, never get out of and
and never see the end of. Yeah, and it's because you get
an instant gratification. Obviously this was like 2008
that you know, like pre and obviously social media was
nowhere near the the absolute BMR that it is now.
So your instant gratification was being around other
individuals who were doing the same thing, you know, whether
that'd be like just young lads going out, going to the pub and
socialising. Not saying that was the bad
part. The bad part was being in
someone's kitchen till three, 4:00 in the morning.
Do you know what I mean? Like we could have the good do,
didn't necessarily need the bad, but that the habit and behaviour
was intertwined. There was people that were going
out at the same time as me, weren't getting rid of, weren't
spending hundreds of pounds on drugs, weren't starting to sell
to feed their own habit and their need to go out on the
weekend. But I, I made that choice.
It was a choice to go down that path, you know, And that's what
kept me in that that cycle. How long did you go to prison?
Yeah, yeah. So basically part of the
undercover operation. So the undercover police.
And FYI they knew exactly what they were doing so they should.
But like you send two good looking female into the dingiest
diviest pubs that you could ever imagine, send them to a group of
lads and say hey how you doing? 19 year olds, you know, young,
dumb and full of you know what? And like me, any of that what
what's he going to say? What's that 1920 year old going
to say? Of course he can, right.
And at that time I was, I was selling a bit, but like one of
my charges, right, was like there was quite a few on this
sheet, but one of them was supplier Class A, right?
That was me giving a female officer a line of coke in a bag.
No cash, no cash was exchanged. I gave her it and it weighed no
point. No free. 8 of a gramme.
That was one of my charges of supply.
The other one, I was out in Newcastle.
She called me on the phone, she had my mobile number and she
said hey, I'm going to a party, can you get me this?
It's like I'm in Newcastle at the time.
Yeah, I was drunk at the time and stuff.
Can you give me this? Ah, see what I can do?
Yeah, I should be able to sort you out.
Conspiracy to supply. And then the other times I, I
sold, I sold to the females and I sold them a gramme and the
purity was 8% pure cocaine, 8%. Do you know what I mean?
Like that shouldn't be even legal.
Do you know, like getting drunk on shandy?
And then another time I was really drunk and I sold to two
undercover male police officers and I, I should have known I was
just stupid, but I was drunk and I sold to that.
So in total, the amount of the street value of the cocaine that
I supply was like it's about 100 and over 150 or £175, OK.
And then a few conspiracy supplies because basically they
rang me up, said can you get me some of that?
And I said I'll see what I can do.
Yeah, I should be able to sort you out because it was part of a
big undercover operation. They were trying to target a lot
of the drug dealers in the town, etcetera, etcetera.
They ended up getting minnows like me, you know, they ended up
shoving 2 years, six months up me, which was.
Like insane. You know, because when I first
got caught, I was speaking to people and they're like, ah man,
you're not going down for that. No problem.
No, nothing's going to happen. So for the first three months,
so while this case was going on, I didn't think anything was
going to happen. Slap on the wrist, away you go.
It was only when I went to the, the, the solicitors and he just
looked me and went, you're going down for this.
And I'm like what, 100% you are going down for this.
They've put too much time, resource effort into this
operation. You are going down for it.
It doesn't matter. Look at the look at the law, the
letter of the law you supply Class A, your sentence is this
like, but I've changed my life around, OK, you've done it.
So I remember walking for like home from the the solicitors and
that was the longest, loneliest, most awful Rd I have ever walked
about 15 minutes and I was a wreck because I was like what
the hell, How the hell am I going to.
I'm going to gaol. Yeah, pre and I didn't have any
previous convictions or whatever it may be like I had nothing.
It's like how the hell are you going to gaol?
What have you done here? You know, and then they like
obviously that was going in the background, getting the
background. And at the time I'd borrowed a
phone off my mum and dad. This is the worst part of the
full situation. I never want to relive this as
long as I live. But my dad was like, can I have
that phone back? But obviously I got raided.
And when you get raided, they take all of your electronics off
you as they search it and stuff like that.
Funny, sorry on that. They they found I was training
at the time they found a bag of maltodextrin.
Anybody who doesn't know maltodextrin's like glucose.
It's like a fine sugar. The day before the bag split.
Wow. I put it in a.
Tupperware tub, right? So a kilo and half of
maltodextrin in a white Tupperware tub, you know, like a
sandwich bag, sandwich box. So it's, it's just on the side.
I'd be in the morning, I took my creatine, I'd have my shake.
I'm off to work, walks in, we've hit the jackpot ear lads.
It's like you haven't like. But then they tried to put that
into me in the. Interview and said I was cutting
drugs and stuff like that. But back to the main foot.
I'd borrowed a phone off my dad and he's like, can I have it
back? Can I have it back?
But the police had stolen it. Well, not stolen it.
They'd taken it as evidence. So I couldn't get it back.
And then after a few times of asking, I was like, I'm going to
have to front this up. So I remember walking into my
mum and dad's house, sitting him down and saying, listen, I've
got something to tell you. And I told them, listen, I'm
going to be getting sent to prison for supply of coke.
My dad just got off of the chair, walked outside in the
garden. I don't know if he was just
like, I need to get away from him before I strangle him or
shout at him, or if he was just that disappointed, that upset or
whatever it may be. My mum broke down in tears and
that, as I've reflected on it later in life, that lesson right
there was a your actions have consequences on other people,
not just yourself. But that was when I discovered
the ripple effect. You know, if you Chuck a stone
into water, you get the ripple effect.
Well, I had just dropped a almighty ship brick into a pond
and I just basically hurt the two people in my life that love
me the most. I've always been there, bent
over backwards to give me a great life.
You know, they work their asses off and this is how I repaid
them. Repaid them by saying, yeah,
your son's gone to prison. I know that that lesson will
stick for you and it'll haunt me for forever and a day because it
was awful. But again, it, it, it reminded a
really powerful lesson of your actions have consequences on
other people. So then I went to, went to court
and the, this the barrister was like, right, OK, you've, you've,
you've had a few tie boxing matches.
You know, you've, you've turned your life round you, you're
going to be a dad or yeah, my case got moved before Nevada was
born and then afterwards. So right, yeah, OK, you've got
three month old baby and stuff like that.
So it's like right, OK, it got there and it's like not
disregard all of that. You still wreaked misery on
other people by your selfish habits.
This was the judge and then gave me the sentence of this runs
concurrent with this. This charge runs concurrent for
this charge runs concurrent. So like I say, it was 2 years,
six months. The six months rank concurrent
for the with the two years for supply.
And I remember just turn around in the dock and going in the
room and just sitting down and just started laughing.
And it was a laugh of like this can't be real.
This can't, this has got to be a joke.
Got to be a joke. No way.
Two years for this 175 quid. I knew guys that had got off
with like kilos and I was like, how the hell is this?
What? So I ended up like sitting down
just laughing like what's going on here?
And then I remember going down under the, the basement where
they lead all the prisoners and stuff and the barrister was
like, well, so that wasn't too bad.
Like what easy for you to say you're on the other side.
Like what was that like? Oh, well, they could have give
you 5 years. All right, nice one.
He's what they could have. He's what you could have won.
But it didn't. So then I had to obviously I
did. I ended up doing nine months
inside because I was unable to get 3 months on licence on tag.
But when I went to prison, that was very much of A right.
You need to adapt to your environment right now.
You need to just be part of the system.
It is what it is. Your life outside is is on hold.
It's stopped. So just adapt to that system.
And yeah, and there's still lots of lessons that I learnt from
that. And again, it was just a, a
course correction from a power to power above.
He then gave me some opportunities to say, right,
there's a gym course. He's he's an opportunity to go
and work in the gym. It's a gym orderly, which was
one of the best jobs that you could get in prison.
So I was presented with opportunities and it was up for
me to take those opportunities that were presented to me, even
in a very, very bad situation. So did you say that they put you
on? A gym course in prison?
Yeah. So you.
Prison's one of these weird things.
OK, so people say you're right, you're there to be punished and
you get your freedom take away. But it's great.
There's some fantastic programmes in there if you
integrate with them. If you want to change, you can
change. If you don't, you could just
keep on playing it and you'll go out and you want change and you
want change to come. So I was like, there's no way
I'm coming back here. I've got a three month year old,
my daughter outside, you know what I mean?
I've got a Ben. I'm I'm not coming back here.
So then I was just getting into the gym routine.
Then they put me on like a level 1.
Then there was an opportunity to go on level 2.
I was working in the gym as a gym Audley.
So cleaning the gym, just putting the kit away after the
sessions, playing 5A side football with with roommates and
stuff like that. Quite a privileged position and
spending time with the other like prison officers who were
the, the gym, like the, the gym staff.
And again, there was some people there that had had a direct
impact on my life while I was in there as well.
And that was again, opportunities are there if
you're willing to accept them and to make a difference with
them. And that's what I had to do with
with with being in prison, you know, would you say in a weird
way, looking back on it? It's really extreme case, but
like prison was almost the price that you had to pay to put you
on the path that you're on now because it's kind of led you
into the whole gym instructor kind of PT side of things. 100%
and that's why I believe it was. A cost correction.
You know, I, I knew that I was going to be a dad, but I was
still just going to work in a warehouse and I knew that I had
potential. And I've always shown potential
from a young age. And it goes back to when that
science teacher had that disapproval look because I chose
the easy option with the types of exams that I did.
So I always knew that I had this potential to do something.
So 100% that's why it happened. Even after I'd changed my life
around going tie box and there was somebody saying you're not
on the right path. You might not be doing that, but
you're still on this path. That's not going to allow you to
have a positive impact, not going to live up to your
potential. So I believe that's why this
this happened. And it allowed me to learn some
important lessons to become a better human being, a better
dad, and get me on that path to helping others that might have
been in a similar situation to myself and teenagers who were
just a little bit lost and that being the vehicle of sport.
What was the number one lesson that you learned from?
That time. There's quite a few there's,
it's very hard to like rank them, but it's very much
opportunities are there if you're willing to accept them.
The lessons are there. There's always lessons to be
learnt no matter what the situation.
There's always positives to be taken from any situation and you
just have to be willing to to to look and also you just need to
be willing to accept that it might be a ridiculously small
positive on the grand scheme of things of in that moment.
But focusing on the positive outcome of the opportunities
that they're available, that's what might actually help me
further down the line. You know, it's so easy to focus
on. This is crap.
This is rubbish, whatever it may be, whatever it may be, and I
could have easily got caught in that cycle and I've seen so many
people inside that did. Because I focused on what was
wrong. I was able to focus on what was
in front of me, what was good, and just hold on to that for
dear life, you know, even if it was just small things like being
able to get extra servings from the canteen because I was going
to the gym and I wanted to feed my body with nutrients, you
know. So yeah, that's probably the one
that's always like just constantly seek out
opportunities was probably the biggest thing.
And again, the the ripple effect of my actions have massive
consequences on those. So I can have a chat, choose to
Chuck a ship brick in the water. I can Chuck something good
that's going to have a ripple effect and a positive ripple
effect on those around me. So those are the probably the
key ones that I've probably taken away from that situation.
Nice. How did that lead you into?
Kettlebell training so. When I came out, obviously when
you're on licence, you get a nice little fancy ankle
bracelet, which you know, I wouldn't recommend accessorising
with, but you obviously you have to be in the house and then
you're under the probation service.
And what they do is again, if you want to, if you want to get
use the system, use the opportunities that are in front
of you, you can do it. If you just want to go through
the motions again, you can just turn up to the meetings, say
whatever you want. And then they'll go, I was like,
Nah, if they're going to fund me, they'll they'll fund me for
something. So I was like KET about training
something a bit different. It'll stand out.
They look pretty cool as a, as a tool to use.
So can you fund me on this course?
So they're like, yeah, get us all the details, show us what's
the job opportunities off the back of it.
They funded it. So I was like, right, cool.
So I went on this course, 2 day course, all about like kettle
bell training, so fitness stuff, swings, snatches, squats, et
cetera, et cetera. And the guy mentioned, oh,
there's the sports side of it. It's like, oh, what's that?
It's like, oh, basically you're just doing it for time.
So 10 minutes non-stop snatch. And I was like, I'll give that a
go on Monday. How hard could that be?
Got to 2 1/2 minutes, changed, handed multiple times and
thought, what the Hell's happened here?
This is, this is something like I've never experienced before.
Because at the time I had to come away from Ty Boxing because
I'd become a personal trainer and all my clients were in on an
evening and, and I picked up a gig and I couldn't train Ty
Boxing and I couldn't fight, you know, and if you're trying to
prepare for a fight, you need to be able to train.
So I sort of drifted into the, I needed something else to fill
that void. And then I found the the
kettlebell sports stuff. And then I just sort of immersed
myself in that because it was exposed in so many different
areas. I needed to get stronger.
I need to get fit, I need to get more mobile.
I needed to have mental grit and determination.
And it was something unique. And because it was unique, it
was something that could be mine.
You know, it goes back to that autonomy as you have as a young
kid. You know, I need something
that's mine because it was so unique and not everyone's doing
it. It's like I can be part of that.
That's pretty cool. I can stand out from the crowd,
you know, for doing something different.
So I sort of immersed myself in the world of kettlebell sport.
Within nine months, I'd I'd trained with two absolutely
phenomenal coaches from Russia and then travelled out, flew to
Saint Petersburg, did two week training camp by myself,
immersed myself in in that. Anybody who's ever been to
Russia knows that there's not much because it's a scripted
like alphabet. So it's not like our alphabet.
You can't really make head and a tail of what they're saying.
Nobody really speaks much English.
Well, they didn't in like 20, 2011, 2012 in Saint Petersburg,
even though that's one of the most popular places.
So I was kind of very much all alone when I was out there, but
I was able to train twice a day and experience that.
And then from that, from me enjoying it and loving it so
much and being able to travel the world.
I was like, I want to get other people on this.
Within like a year of training, I was in competing at the World
Championships in Siberia and Chimena and Russia.
So I was like, I need to teach people this because if I can get
opportunities to travel the world, I need to get other
people on board of this because this is really, really cool.
And I was able to build the gym off the back of it and build a
reputation and help people get opportunities like what I've got
from the sport. And again, that's like, say,
travelling the world and experiencing lots of different
things, which has LED us to the the club and what we are today.
We've got kids in the gym from like 10 years old, eleven years
old, and we've got somebody in the gym who's 66 years old and
they're all doing the same sport.
They're all competing, they're all going to competitions, world
champs, European champs, travelling the world.
And that's what's allowing me to step back and go, yeah, this was
this journey has been well worth it.
You know, obviously a lot of challenges along the way still,
but from where I was back then to, to where I am now.
And it's obviously sort of critical to the, the love and
support I get from from my partner and my family and stuff
like that, which it wouldn't have happened without those.
Because they've give me the, the energy and the courage when I've
needed it to keep pushing forward.
And it's been incredible to, to, to be part of, you know, But
yeah, the, the sport itself, I'm still addicted as I was that day
that I tried that 2 1/2 minutes in the gym and just couldn't
keep it above my head. I use, I do use heavier weights
now. I do use 230 twos instead of a
16K kettlebell. So I haven't just completely
sucked at this spot for that long.
But yeah, still compete, still travel the world and get a lot
from it. And seeing other people get as
much as what I did in the early days from it as well, which is,
again, it's that ripple effect. My ripple effect is I'm chucking
A kettlebell into a pond now. I'm letting that that do some
good stuff and have positive impacts on other people.
Yeah, it's amazing. It sounds like this whole.
Journey from start to finish, everything kind of happened in
the way that it needed to and I think it's quite a good
representation of what happens. Like what's?
Happening in the. Moment now may not necessarily
be what your life's going to look like in 10 years time.
Should you let it? Like should should you take a
step back and kind of assess, OK, I'm doing dumb shit at the
moment, I need to kind of maybe get rid of that or a great
quote. I can't think about the actual
quote. It's along the lines of like the
journey isn't about becoming anything.
It's about like unbecoming. It's about getting rid of all
the things that's not you. And I can't remember who said
it, but it kind of reminds me of that.
It's like all these little things you had to go through to
kind of, OK, maybe get rid of that bit, maybe stop doing that.
And it's LED you onto onto this path now.
Yeah. And and again.
It's the one thing that tie boxing taught me of of being
able. You've got the energy, you can
channel it into good, you can channel it in the bad because
you can't have the positive without the negative, right?
It's impossible. If you have a battery with two
positives doesn't work right if you try and why your house up
with just two positives, it's got to go bang.
Some of it's not going to work right.
So the key thing though is when a negative occurs or how are you
going to use it to then fuel a positive?
And that sounds a bit woo woo and it sounds a bit fluffy, but
that's what tarboxing taught me of just consistently turning up,
doing something, getting better and better and better.
And then my coach throughout that, supporting me, having the
impact, making me feel good when I've typically felt probably a
bit shit about myself, but making me feel good, That's what
fuelled that desire of life. He's having a massive impact on
my life. Now if I can do that for someone
else, even if it's in a smaller way, yeah, that'll be a pretty
damn cool, rewarding life to live, you know?
Yeah, it's amazing. Where can people go if they.
Want to see more of your stuff? So very active on.
Instagram so tune Nova so TU space Nova so tune Nova from
translates from Latin, so it means new you.
And so yeah, when I got into the fitness space, Tune Nova reached
out to me in terms of it just came into my brain and I
thought, Nah, that sums up a lot of my journey.
So yeah. Tune Nova kettlebell training on
Instagram. We are also also on Facebook.
We're also going to be competing at the European Championships in
York on the 14th, 15th and 16th of of May.
So if you even want to watch the sport in person, you can.
But yeah, Instagram's the best way to reach out.
Amazing. I appreciate you coming on.
Mate, always thanks very very much for letting me share the.
Journey, mate, and keep up the great work because it's
platforms like this which allow us to share messages and and put
good stuff out there, you know, so keep up the great work.
I appreciate it.