Hello and welcome to this special Christmas edition of the
Water Rd podcast. I'm at the National Waterways
Museum at Ellesmere Port in Cheshire, where Santa Claus is
in residence and the elves are running boat trips for the
children. So, Missus Claus, I reckon you
must have the most important job here today, because you're not
only looking after the children, but you're looking after Santa
himself, aren't you? I'm very, very busy today.
There's lots of excited children got on the boat.
When they get back, we shout, Are you ready, Santa Claus?
And hopefully he's finished playing with the reindeer.
He's tied them all up safely and he's sitting in his armchair
waiting for the children to have their presents.
And of course he will be, because you'd have sorted him
out, weren't you? Well, I'd hate to say anything
about men who are quite slow at times, but Father Christmas is
getting a little old and you do have to chivvy him along at
times. And he loves his cup of tea.
But he will be ready. His beard is trimmed and
sparkling, he's got his hat ready to put on, reindeers are
looking stunning, and yes, he's going to be ready for the first
children off the boat. And are they usually quite
excited when they get off the? Boat.
Oh, bubbling. Absolutely bubbling.
They can't wait to get through the curtain.
We have to slow them down. And then they go in and their
eyes just pop because the grotto looks exciting and lovely.
Some of them are a bit spellbound.
Grannies and granddads love it because they're remembering all
the times they went to see Father Christmas.
Mummies and daddies are making sure that the children really
enjoy it. It's just exciting for
everybody, including me. I really love it.
It's really good. And there's Mother Claws coming
from the North Pole just once a year to meet all these wonderful
children. It's really, really fun.
So it must be quite important the the museum here to Santa and
to Ute for you to spend such a lot of time here.
Well, we've traditionally had Santa here for many years now
and the the idea of he comes here is known in the
neighbourhood and with thanks to all the social media then of
course he's known far and wide, lots of Santa's.
But we think we've got the best by far.
We've certainly got the only boat ride, haven't we?
And in other times of the year, I mean, have you been to the
museum before, Mrs Claus? Well, yes, of course, because in
the summertime, when I'm not needed to help make the
presents, I come down and I like to go and have a look at the
cottages. There are four of them.
They're in different time zones, so they hark back to when the
port was really, really busy, because of course it wasn't
Ellesmere Port until the canals came.
It was a little village, and then they decided that the
canals would come here to complete the journey from the
ship canal latterly. But originally the boats used to
sail up the Mersey and through past a tiny little lighthouse.
You would wonder how they could see it and the bottom basin, as
we call this big expanse of water at the bottom here, would
be full of sailboats. And that's something that the
children don't always realise because we say it would be full
of boats and then really you have to take them back in time
because it's hundreds of years old.
The first cottages were built in the 1830s, so you can imagine
how much development they've seen.
And of course, the port built up as the as the boats happened
until the trains came and took all the custom away and it
slowly slid into decline. But we're having great
anniversaries because of course, the boat museum has been going
for many years now. And then they built up the
wonderful collection of boats that we have here now.
So Nigel, you're one of the skippers of the boats and yes, I
gather you do the trips all year round?
We do the Christmas ones. Must be a bit special.
Well, they are because Christmas time is a special time anyway.
So are we trying to make it fun for the, for the kids and also
the parents as well? Because they all, because I
mean, last trip we had three kids and nine parents.
So, so everybody enjoys Amelia's very good at getting them all
singing and, and stuff like that.
So it's good, good, good, good fun.
Are they the noisiest trips of the year?
Yes. Without a doubt.
But that we don't mind that.
Have they ever managed to drown out the noise of the boat
engine? No, no, it's always, it's always
there in the background. So yes, three cylinder Lister,
sort of a a traditional canal boat engine, but three cylinders
is is something a bit special. And tell me about the boat,
because it's doesn't look narrow enough to be a narrow.
Boat. It isn't.
It's 9 foot 6 wide and the gaps
we've got to go through 11 feet, so it's quite a tight fit to
going through, up the canal through the the slip, the
slipway bridge and also the M53 bridge as well.
So why is this boat that width then?
It was, it was built here actually over in the boatyard
over there or 1970s, probably 80s, I'm not quite sure when it
was built for this situation. And then because originally it
could take 60 passengers and that brings in all sorts of
requirements, insurance and, and registration and stuff like
that. So we're now running it with
volunteers with a maximum of 12 passengers.
So it's, it's quite big for that number of passengers.
But it it you know there's plenty of space there for them
to create havoc. Because you'll have to have your
proper licence too. We do, so if you help want a
helmet boat, you have to go through a a Houndsman's Cats
certification process. And what's the most difficult
bit of the trip? Is it getting through the
bridges or is it turning round at each end?
It depends on the weather turns on the weather.
Today there's not a breath of air, so turning and winding is
quite easy. So the most difficult bit is is
the going to the bridges when it's windy, the northwesterly
wind coming straight through there from straight off the
Mersey, straight off the Irish Sea, that can be a bit naughty.
Or like it was on yesterday, it was a southeasterly wind and
that created all sorts of problems winding at the top end.
So yeah. But you enjoy the challenge.
Oh gosh, yes, yes, and. Even in the back, we've got
everything ready. Yeah.
Are we ready to? Just one Earth.
That we wish. You Merry Christmas.
Everybody 321, we wish you a Merry Christmas.
We wish you. A Merry.
Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
So, Father Christmas, you're all geared up for the arrival of the
kids then, are you? Oh yes, I've I've said every
year I do this and it's so brilliant to see the kids coming
in. And how excited are they
usually? Oh, they're very excited when
they get off the boat. They've been on there with a few
hours and they're wound up, appropriately wound up.
And they're very joyous and they come up along shrieking and they
can't come through the the curtains quick enough and.
Have you noticed that kids always ask for particular things
from you? They're usually primed by their
parents as to what they're likely to get, which is really
nice because then they get what they want.
They come in and they select a presence and then they come and
see me and show me the presents and I sort of ceremoniously
present it to them. So Ellesmere Port must be quite
important to Santa then, as you're spending such quite a lot
of time here. This museum is very important to
me. Well, I'm not doing Santa then.
I'm on one of the boats. I got my wide beam boat
certificate two years ago. We went out a few years ago and
it was I stopped when I was at the front of the boat with a
great big pole smashing the ice so we could take the kids up and
down the canal. Do you?
Want to tell me what you've been doing say?
Yik Thug. Have you been?
Able to sleep. Should we see?
Should we shout? So on the count of three, we
have to shout. Are you ready, Santa Claus?
OK, Loud. Yeah, 1/2.
Are you ready? Santa Claus.
So you're all just back from the from the boat trip.
What did you make of it it? Was very good.
Singing. And everything, mate.
Wonderful. Did you manage to find all the
things that the elves had lost? Yes, we found them all.
We had the bells and everything. Yeah.
And the mites. Couldn't spell all of them but
that's OK, we still found them. I suppose you you probably
enjoyed it because you remember doing this sort of thing years
ago. Right.
Yes, yes. So wonderful.
In a few moments, we'll be hearing memories of Christmases
Afloat from some boating friends.
But first, I wanted to say thank you for making the first series
of the Water Rd such a success. I really do appreciate you
listening, following, and sending your comments.
The podcast will be taking a break until the spring, so
please make sure you follow or subscribe depending on where you
get your podcasts from so you'll be alerted when the new series
starts in March. But now back to Christmas and
stories of the festive season on the Cut.
Hello Adam, this is Pip from Narrowboat Oliana.
My Christmases tend to start far earlier than most people's.
I'm a theatre designer and over the last few years I've designed
the scenery for the pantomime at the theatre Chipping Norton.
My Christmas prep tends to start early, around late spring, early
summer. It's quite odd being in the
depths of panto when there's a heat wave going on outside the
boat. During October, rehearsals
happen. For the first few years we'd
move Oliana down onto the South Oxford Canal.
I'd head off to do a week's work in Chipping Norton, painting
scenery and sorting props, and then on a Saturday evening I'd
climb on a bus and head to find the boat somewhere between
Oxford and Banbury. After four weeks of rehearsals,
the show opens and excited audiences take over the
building, laughing, shouting, booing and singing along with
the actors. I just hope that I haven't
peaked too soon, as there's still another four or five weeks
to go before the big day. And here's hoping that Father
Christmas finds us wherever we're moored, because we don't
always know where we're going to be moored for Christmas.
This is Chris here of the Narrow Boat Empire.
I thought I'd just share a memory from about a Christmas
memory from about which I believe 50 years ago, 1975
actually. But I was on my boat, my first
working boat with a large Woolwich boat called Epsom and
it was my first Christmas on my own that wasn't all together
alone as with my doggy Edward and a big Dalmatian I had with
me for 1415 years. Right opposite where I was more
at the junction at Bar Bridge, there's a pub called the Jolly
Tar, gone now, long gone and I think it's been replaced by
houses when I was more there and and the evening progressed more
and more lively, joking and laughing and generally enjoying
themselves because it was after all Christmas Eve.
I must admit to a certain extent I was a bit fed up, I suppose,
because it was the first time on my own and I suppose all the
jollity and the hilarity that was going on sort of made me
feel a bit more withdrawn. It was cold I had before I go
in, but my battery was flat so I had no radio or TVI.
Retired early, got into my bunk and the next morning it was a
very crisp, lovely sunny sky, bit of ice on the canal and the
dusting of snow. Very soon there was a succession
of people walking dogs and pushing prams and shouting Merry
Christmas and how are you and all.
That's the sort of stuff. And you know, my spirits were
lifted. I was where I wanted to be, I
was on a boat on the canal, as close as you can get to nature
and I couldn't have wished for a better Christmas present.
Hey there, it's MB Hogarth. We used to be continuous
cruisers and have spent many a Christmas aboard, starting all
the way back in 2008. That first year we were iced in
at Foxton and now we're gearing up to relive the experience,
minus the ice. Hopefully this year we're
teaming up once again with a crew of MB Caxton for another
festive cruise. Last Christmas we met at Norton
Junction on the Grand Union and headed, fingers very much
crossed, to Stoke Bruen hoping to snag a mooring.
The boating God smiled on us and we managed to bag the perfect
spot for both Hogarth and Caxton right opposite.
The boat in Christmas Eve was spent exactly as it should be, a
cosy pub visit for a couple of pints and some glorious cheesy
chips, followed by an afternoon of enthusiastic veg prep.
Back on board that evening we wandered up to Stoke Brewing
Church for lovely Carol service, which set the tone perfectly for
the big day. Christmas Day itself was a
beautifully choreographed operation.
The Turkey, roast potatoes and parmesan parsnips were expertly
cooked on MB Catson before being ceremonially marched down the
towpath and delivered through Hogarth's side hatch, much to
the amusement of passing boaters and dog walkers.
Once everything was assembled, we all tucked into a fantastic
Christmas lunch together. The afternoon was reserved for
the new Wallace and Gromit Vengeance Most Foul, complete
with its high speed narrow boat chase followed by card games as
the light faded. It was MB Caxton's first
Christmas aboard and the fact that Eager to do it again this
year tells you everything you need to know.
Hi, Adam, it's Mick from Oliana. We spent a winter on our first
boat, Liliana on the Macclesfield Canal and Peak
Forest Canal. During the week before Christmas
we went to a the wedding of my niece in Rochdale and after that
wedding lots of family had rented a holiday cottage nearby
to Bugsworth Basin. On Christmas Day.
It was Pip's 50th birthday so her family rented a another
holiday cottage in Buxworth itself.
We had a lovely few days with them.
We had Christmas dinner at in their holiday accommodation.
We had plans to leave Bugsworth Basin a few days after Christmas
'cause our time there was up. As we were preparing to leave, a
friend of ours on marabout Bleasdale turned up.
We'd first met Heather on Bleasdale at Little Venice in
London. We didn't know her cruising
plans and then there she was and she said oh, you must stay, you
must stay. We're having a New Year's Eve
party on board the old historic boat Narrowboat Tench, which was
owned by her friend. So we stayed there for New Year
as well. We had a lovely New Year's Eve
in the hold of Tench. But that's all for this
Christmas edition of the Water Rd with special thanks to the
staff and volunteers here at the National Waterways Museum at
Ellesmere Port. The podcast is produced and
presented by me, Adam Porter. Don't forget that all previous
episodes are always available to listen to.
We'll be back with Series 2 in the spring.
Thank you for listening to The Water Road and Merry Christmas.